- Location
- The Hub
I just assumed it'd autocorrupt his name to "Duck" and left it at that.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- Pennsylvania
This Experiment was partly inspired by my own frustrations with autocorrect.
- Location
- Germany
...whelp, that tells *a lot* about how my mind in particular works, it seems^^
Don´t worry, we could tell
SaberFail
All Ideas. No Skills. a bit hungry
- Pronouns
- He/Him
She's pulling a Luz Noceda before Luz even gets to her finale! Except without the guilt of helping a medieval psychopath via time travel.
Torgamous
Aspiring Gynoid
- Pronouns
- She/Her
- Location
- United Kigdom
The chaos of this interlude is really something to behold
Omegahugger
Inattentive Idiot
There is one thing that has me a wee bit worried. The last time we tussled with these three witches, they went out like sore losers and cast a curse on us that speed up an upcoming crisis and gave us a significant debuff at a critical moment during it.
And we are like 1½ turns away from another, somewhat more personal crisis...
And we are like 1½ turns away from another, somewhat more personal crisis...
- Location
- Nice try
Jumba's expirement may stop a curse from bbeing cast. Then again nagic is much more about meaning than words so...
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Well we already have seen it explicitly can mess with spells:
It created a hellfife instead of hellfire.
- Location
- The Hub
We should steal that.
I have a song that greatly suits this interlude.
View: https://youtu.be/qkSIyqYD93g
A promise of incoming chaos, but it hasn't quite boiled over into that yet.
View: https://youtu.be/qkSIyqYD93g
A promise of incoming chaos, but it hasn't quite boiled over into that yet.
One Way or Another, Part III
- Location
- Pennsylvania
"To meuddle so easily with our spells… what manner of creature are you?" Winnifred's tone was halfway between accusatory and curious.
"Hak tienet tiznet! Ih." the thing chirped.
"It's speaking ancient runes!" Sarah declared. The other two looked blankly towards Jumba.
"Is name." Jumba shrugged.
"It's a terrible name!" Winnifred insisted. "Too long! We shall call it… Buird.
"Burd?" Sarah asked, confused.
"Close enough." Mary shrugged.
"Hold, villains!" a voice from behind them declared. Janna froze as someone only a few feet from her started yelling. The source of the commotion was a particularly buff-looking knight, having ridden up on one of the strange two-wheeled devices made to look like a horse. "I shall never bow to one such as you! Nor will I allow you to spread your malign influence unabated! Face me, and leave these innocents alone!"
Without missing a beat, Winnifred pointed a finger and began to chant. "Light and dark are not as they seem. Kneel mine fool- immorality beam!"
"Ooh, that's a fun one." Mary commented.
A bolt of dark energy poured out over the man, enveloping him in a somehow-glowing shadow.
"How may I serve you, my dark lady?" the knight immediately dropped to his knees.
A smattering of appreciative applause rose from the crowd. Janna grimaced.
Jumba and Janus exchanged their own look of approval before starting to turn away. "Well then. We'll leave you to it."
"Hold!" Sarah jaunted forward before the scientists could disappear into the crowd and snatched the Experiment off of Jumba's shoulder. "Burd would be far better off with us! It's been so long since we've had a familiar."
The book rustled a few pages.
"O-other than you, Book. An animal familiar!"
Mary nodded in agreement, smiling. "It's been so long, we never had one at all!"
Jumba wore a stormy expression for approximately two seconds. Then it evaporated "Eh. Easy come, easy go. Will have more fun with them. Perhaps create even greater chaos!"
"If you're sure." Janus stroked his chin in thought before shrugging. The Sandersons watched them step back into the crowd to watch the show.
"Now Sarah." Winnifred warned. "This a graove responsibility."
"But's it's not a plant, Winnie! It's an animal. I think."
Winnifred frowned. "I know that you imbecile. But you will need to feed and water it, and dispose of its… effusions."
Sarah stared blankly until Mary leaned over and whispered something in her ear. "Oh, bleck!"
"Now enough of this prattle. Have either of you seen the girl yet? We must make whaste-"
"No, I thought you said we had to clean it?" Sarah asked uncertainly. Burd smiled.
"I did not misspeak!" Winnifred declared, speaking quickly before something else made her not misspeak again. "We must either find the girl now or begin laying waste to the city and gathering the children we require to preserve our youth!"
Okay. Janna thought. Here goes nothing then.
"Hey fuglies!" Janna bellowed in challenge.
All three Sandersons looked to Burd. The Experiment shrugged.
"Janna, do you even have a plan?" Feldrake complained.
"Of course I have a plan."
"Is it a good plan?"
Janna firmed her stance.
Slowly and carefully she drew power to herself. She was going to get one shot at this, which means she would need to make it count. If it worked at all. She might not have been able to beat them openly, but with the right spell maybe she wouldn't need to. Brandishing Feldrake she prepared to cast. And Feldrake realized what she was casting.
"Wait no what are you doiHOK!"
Magic blasted forth from Feldrake's mouth.
"Immortality Beam!"
Janna's eyes widened. "NO!"
But her aim was… perfect. The amount of raw magic being channeled by Burd was enough to manifest visibly, swirls of green and purple twisting Janna's spell, changing it as completely as was possible.
The Sandersons were suffused with radiant white light, all three witches preparing an incantation to defend themselves before they realized it was not necessary. Slowly, once the glow died down, they came to realize that the magic linking them to this world was not so ephemeral as it once was. The unstable dark magic, once only able to be locked in place by child sacrifice, was replaced with something a lot firmer.
Winnifred ran a single hand down her face, feeling the unreplicatable power sink into her veins, twisted by unlucky chance. "My sisters. We… we are free!"
Sarah and Mary broke out into cheers, repeating Winnifred's words in joyous chanting. "Free! Free! Free!"
Winnifred grinned, malice mixing with genuine delight. "Thank you, my dear, for completing our ritual for us! Why, I daresay we may not even need to sacrifice any other children for eternal life!"
Mary seemed a bit put out at that. "I suppose I'll expand my palate."
"You have our gratitude." Winnifred mock-bowed.
"Gratitude… enough to leave in peace?" Janna hazarded hesitantly.
Winnifred looked at her. "Oh no. Of course not! Revenge is still revenge, after all, don't be absurd! The apothecary's building is aflame, so naturally you are next."
"It is?" Sarah asked quietly.
"So-so." Mary replied, waving a hand.
"Regardless!" Winnifred insisted. "If you wish to make your peace, do so quickly." All three Sandersons began to converge on Janna, who took a hesitant step backwards.
Mentally, she ran over the options in her head. Hit them with another spell? No, they'd expect that, and she was still feeling drained from the last time. The crowd was made up of nerds, they wouldn't be of any help even if she could convince them over to her side. Jumba and Janus? Not useless, but not fighters. The Normbots? No, this was a sanctioned company activity and the Sandersons fit the description perfectly. Sweat started to bead on her brow as she backed up from the witches' approach, hesitantly brandishing Feldrake like a club.
Get them talking, maybe? If it could buy her another couple of minutes, maybe she could make it to a storm drain and run for it that way. "So," she said, trying for a tone of casual disinterest instead of the slowly growing terror that was settling in. "-what are you going to do next? Like, you've got the immortality you wanted, right? Now what?"
Mary stopped short. "Ahhhhh… what are we going to do?"
"Hm." Winnifred pondered. " With no further need for consuming children… well. I suppose we shall have eternity to decide."
"After we blast her, right Winnie?" Sarah asked excitedly.
"That's right, sister. Revenge first, existential ponderings later!"
Janna had been slowly inching away all conversation, and saw the last chance she was going to get. She turned to run, hoping to dash into an ally, ask Feldrake, regroup, anything-
And ran directly into Mary.
"Hello dear~" Mary smiled, normally gormless tone gone and replaced with a low, threatening rumble that drove panic directly into Janna's brain.
"How-?!"
"Oh I can be very sneaky when I want to be, dear. Now just calm down, make it easier for us, huh?"
All three witches raised their hands, the first syllable of the vilest curses upon their lips.
The worst part, Janna thought, was that Tom had been right.
And then, suddenly, the space between her and the three witches burst into life.
Plants grew and withered on the spot, preserving down into herbs and spices even as they came to rest at the center of astrological symbols. From the center of an impromptu pentagram a ghostly apparition swirled into being. Long pink hair cascaded in a tangled mess to the ground, matched by a deep purple robe speckled as if by starlight. A tiara lay on her head, and her face was hidden by a fan which disguised all but the glowing symbols upon her cheeks.
She gazed down at the Sandersons, floating slightly off the ground, absolutely still.
A few seconds later Tom flew down from DEI, panting slightly from the speed at which he'd been moving, carrying something in his arms.
The Sandersons stopped short and beheld the apparition before them. They looked at one another for the longest, most uncomfortable minute of Janna's life. Finally, Winnifred nodded. "Ah. I see. So you are the master of this maddening coven."
Celena said nothing, simply floating, staring at the Sandersons, unblinking.
Unfortunately, Janna could see the way she was beginning to shake in place. Tom must've… but that meant…
Okay, so maybe there was one last trick she could try.
It was just going to have to rely completely and totally on someone else.
"That's right." Janna said firmly.
"It is?" Tom asked. "I uh- I mean, yes, yes it definitely is!"
"She's… uh… Queen of Secrets!" Janna continued. "And you're standing on her turf."
The three Sandersons eyed the newcomer warily. After a moment, Winnifred pulled her sisters into a huddle.
"Sisters," She began, as she often did. "It is clear this is not a trick. I can feel the power which emanates from her. Smell it."
"Smells like lemons." Mary noted.
Winnifred glanced back and forth suspiciously. "But we must have our revenge!"
"Must we?" Mary asked, just short of whining. "I wanna go back to Salem Winnie, see if any of my carnivorous plants are still there!"
"They were very sweet." Sarah agreed carefully.
"It was the blood." Mary said proudly. "Now, sister. The girl is humiliated. The apothecary's citadel is burned-"
Mary turned aside.
"Mostly." She muttered, and then returned.
"We have Book, this… delightful newt creature-"
Burd let out a warble.
"And best of all, the eternal life we have sought for so long!" She smiled. "Can't we just… go home?"
Winnifred hemmed and hawwed. "Ohh… augh."
She tapped her foot upon the ground, twisting about in vexation. "You twist my arm! But very well. I suppose we've had our vengeance."
She turned to Celena. "Great witch! Your petty servants have paid for their treachery, and we hath no quarrel with the likes of you. Allow us to go in peace, and we shall trouble you no more."
Janna elbowed Celena. The arm went right through her, but nonetheless the ghost gave a jerky nod.
"Then farewell, foul creatures!" She declared, spreading an arm across the FCLORPers expansively. "Until we meet again!"
"Buh-bye!" Mary said happily, as the three strode off into the… midafternoon.
A moment later Winnifred apparently decided that wasn't dramatic enough, and conjured some hellfire to mark their passing.
Jumba and Janus attempted to start clapping.
"Boo! I wanted a fight!" Someone else snarled, drowning them out.
"Wow." Phineas said from amidst the crowd of roleplayers, taking off his wizard hat. "That was a really good performance."
"Those were definitely real, actual witches." Ferb replied.
===
Celena clutched at her ghostly heart as the stress of being looked at in a public setting became too much for her. She swiftly became incorporeal, retreating to the source of her binding…
"A mason jar?" Janna asked, confused.
"It's a spooky mason jar. We were on a time crunch!" Tom defended his choice.
With all the cool witches gone, most of the crowd dispersed- except for the one guy who'd been turned evil. Feldrake shot a blast of energy at him when he tried to brandish his foam sword, putting him to sleep instantly.
"Yeah right. Anyway, you got a way to fix that guy, Feldrake?" Janna asked casually.
"..."
"...Feldrake?" Janna asked.
"YOU UTTER IMBECILE!!!" Feldrake screeched.
Janna blinked. "Wait, wha-"
Feldrake glowered without moving at all. "What were you thinking?!?"
Janna frowned. "Hey, look, we got the guy-"
"SHE got the guy!" Feldrake said, not glancing at Celena. "You got lucky! I can't believe you threw yourself into pointless danger three times in a row! You caused a stupid problem and couldn't even come up with a stupid solution!"
Janna balled her fists, a lump forming in her throat. "The spell might've worked if the little weirdo hadn't…"
Jumba and Janus began to quietly back away, silently agreeing to not get involved. No one paid them any mind, and before long they vanished into the crowd. A few people were still watching, not really getting the point of this show, while the rest had gone back to their own miniaturized duels or following their phones to the quest markers Phineas and Ferb had set up.
Feldrake just barely didn't quake in anger. "No! It would not have. You can't just shoot the evilizing beam at evil and reverse the spell! You know that. I taught you that!"
"I was desperate!" Janna shouted.
"And you didn't have to be." Feldrake replied coldly. "I thought I taught you better than this. Why didn't you pin the blame on the bozo?!" Feldrake commented, not quite indicating Tom. "Or just get rid of the evidence if you're feeling sentimental? Someone would have stopped them eventually!"
Janna grit her teeth. "I can't just…"
Be like that anymore?
Give up?
Admit defeat?
"...I can't let this beat me. Or else how am I going to save…"
Janna shut up, because the alternative was crying in public, and that was never, ever allowed.
Tom frowned, but didn't speak.
"It's obvious to me you've become too used to waving my power around." Feldrake continued. "If this is your first showing without something backing you up, I. Expect. Better."
Feldrake hesitated. "Look. I don't want to do this. But it's clear you need a push. I'm moving up the timetable. You've got a few more months before I stop doing the heavy lifting for you. Find a new focus, or learn to cast yourself."
"WHAT?!" Janna practically shrieked, turning Feldrake and staring him directly in the eyes. "It was one screw up!"
"It was two years of leaning on other people. Time for tough love. Period. End of story."
"Rrr…Rrraagh!"
Janna hurled Feldrake as hard as she could, sending him flying through the air and embedding him point first in a dumpster.
"Tough love." Feldrake grumbled, banana peel falling onto his face.
Tom very slowly put a hand on Janna's shoulder, resolving to retrieve Feldrake later before any roleplayers took him for a new prop. He opened his mouth to speak, then decided that doing so before Janna was ready was an absolutely terrible idea.
A few seconds passed before Janna couldn't stand the moment any longer. "He's right." She said, gritting her jaw and making sure absolutely nothing leaked out.
"Is he? Really?" Tom said dubiously.
Celena's ghostly visage slowly emerged out of the mason jar. She was practically hiding behind her fan, preparing to cringe away at a second's notice, but she still spoke up.
"From where I'm… floating." Celena said slowly. "I think you could have relied on others more. Not less."
Janna pursed her lips. Then bit them.
Then she walked away.
===
You had spent the last several hours on a flight back from New York City and weren't quite sure what to expect. Trembley: The Musical was a Broadway sensation, the absurd, poignant, fictitious character of the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States was as hilarious as he was tragic. You'd really have to see if they would come and perform in Danville once their Broadway tour was done.
The fighting in the streets, that was expected. Your interns put in a request weeks ago for the 'Largest FCLORP Of All Time' which you declined to join after getting worried people would confuse you for Malifishmertz, but you could respect the drive. The DEI Pentagram Room being burnt out, on the other hand…
You sigh. At least this isn't going to cost you a fortune to rebuild, and there was only one fire in your lobby today. All things considered, an only slightly above average cost to your daily ledgers (a thing you are just now starting to actually look at). With that out of the way it's time to speak to the ghost in question, and the ghost nominally in charge of whatever caused the issue. Malf floats in front of you, rambling on and on without you or the other members of your coven being able to get a word in edgewise.
"So really it's the fault of those ley lines. You know what ley lines are like."
You don't, that's what you expected him to deal with.
"Always… crossing the country where they want. And not bowing to anyone's attempts to map them. It's no wonder that they decided to have a little hiccup and spill out magic ichor all over everything."
"Uh… huh." You say, looking over the written report your coven (mystical interns, but who's counting) had given you about Malf's utterly neglectful conduct and evidence of an unauthorized summoning you were going to have to clamp down on, even if you weren't sure who did it. "And how come my coven's been trying to say something for the last two minutes but they can't?"
Ectoplasm beaded on Malf's brown and slowly dripped onto his robes. "Oh! Heh. Thaaaaaat's… probably because of the Silence. Magnificent spell, Silence, really it's one of my favorites! Just think, with the right applications of Silence you'll never have to listen to your 'advisors' telling you not to do what you want to do ever again!"
Some part of you appreciates the thought, you have fantasized about rebuilding your Mute-Inator during long or especially boring board meetings, but also you kinda have to… do what a CEO does. You're still not entirely sure what that is, admittedly, but it definitely includes listening to those meetings.
You smile, and try to reason with… yourself? "Look, uh… Malf. I get it, I get it, silencing annoying interns is a time-tested tradition. But we really need to… start taking this seriously, you know?" You raise your hands placatively. "Now I get it, ley lines aren't the lynchpin of my business plans for the next year or whatever, but it's been four months and I trusted you with this! What happened?"
"Like I said, just leylines being leylines! Frustrating and hard to work with! I don't think anyone could end up mapping these things, not without them blowing up in your face or something."
He frowns. "Especially not that Celena."
He says the name with bottled hate and rage. The ancient mage is apparently settling in well, and some… byproduct of whatever happened with the summoning apparently made her binding both stronger and more 'mobile' than it would have been otherwise, which means she won't be quite as hard to make use of as Malf is.
Crippling shyness aside.
What were you supposed to be doing? Oh, right, Malf is complaining about everything so no one has a chance to complain about him.
It's a little strange, looking back. A year ago you probably would've agreed with him, perma-silenced interns and challenges to your fragile authority and all, but you've had a lot of time to think about what it really meant that you're in charge of a megacorp now.
And suddenly you realize that if you hold Malf to task for this like a normal person, he's going to get upset. He's going to get downright furious in fact, and do something stupid to make himself feel better. You can't treat him like a normal employee, you…
This is giving you a headache.
But, and this is a horrible think to thought… you could maybe ask Mirage… how she goes about dealing with you?
You bet it has something to do with misdirection.
You smile and try to put theory into practice. "Well… maybe I can find another way to move forward or something, I dunno. For now uhhhhh... Why don't your interns take the next twenty minutes off…" You glance meaningfully at the notes they handed you before ushering them into a back room, then force as much joviality into your voice as you can. "While you spend the rest of our one-on-one telling me about your… uh… your meaty things?"
"AH YES, MY MEATLINGS!" Malf screeches in joy. "Oh, they have so much Evil potential. I've prepared several long, pointless rambles on how they can best terrorize your subjects!"
You slouch back into your seat. Dealing with Malf is likely to be a project. But… maybe you've been looking at this the wrong way. Mostly to avoid thinking about how like you he is, but still. You can probably prevent something like this from happening again in the future.
It could have been worse, but still. You feel like you're due for some good news at this po-
Something kicks your door once, then twice. After an awkward moment Marco gently opened the door and then rushed into the room, running up to your desk and stopping just short of grabbing you by the shoulders.
"Did you mean what you said about finding Star?" Marco asked.
"Uhhh… Yeah." You say, after a moment.
Marco pulls out his phone and pages across to what is unmistakably an image of a girl with bright blonde hair and hearts on her cheeks peeking out of a bush next to a burning Captain Kernel's.
"Toffee's busy. Someone took this picture two days ago. Get to it."
===
-Thanks to the city-wide FCLORP, the Sandersons' magic activities have gone by unnoticed. As mentioned previously, your Occult actions next turn take a -5 penalty.
-The fire in your lobby was barely even irritating, after the foam was cleaned up. It caused no major property damage. The DEI Pentagram Room was a pain to repair, but thankfully not very expensive. Income unchanged.
-The Sandersons have retrieved the Manual of Witchcraft and Alchemy. They have no further need for child sacrifice to sustain themselves, and no further reason to meddle with you, Janna, or DEI. The Sandersons are now a roving Problem, not currently after you but not fond of you either. Last seen heading towards their hometown, Salem. Janna would love to get the book back, but bringing up she lost it would mean having to admit what happened to the whole company… and she's definitely not going after it alone.
At least not yet.
-Feldrake's bonus immediately decreases by -3, and will continue to decrease by -3 to 0 each subsequent turn and remain lowered as long as he is assigned to Janna. He is displeased with Janna's decisions and has decided to cut her off from easy spellcasting. If not necessarily for the reasons most people would agree with.
-Celena the Shy has joined as a hero unit! Instead of being locked to a building (like Malf), she has been successfully bound to a (admittedly slightly spooky) glass jar. She will be able to perform considerably more actions than she would have otherwise been able to! A profile will be added before the next turn starts.
-Malf is very, very upset that you acquired another wizard explicitly against his wishes. He takes a -15 opinion penalty.
-Having a (mostly unproductive) chat with him has kept this anger from being focused on you, so he's just angry in general. Malf has a temporary +10 opinion penalty that decays November/December 2018.
-Manage Malf has been added to Doof's personal actions.
[ ] Manage Malf
Getting Malf to work smoothly in your organization requires you to get… creative. Distract him at the right times, butter him up in the right places, keep him pointed in a vaguely useful direction. This is likely to be a fairly time-intensive endeavor… at least at first.
Taking this action grants Malf a free personal action this turn, and gives a permanent +5 to Malf's opinion.
-Marco has encountered a significant lead on Star. Mirage's vote on the global "Search for Star" action has changed, unlocking the action. You gain +48 progress towards Finding Star.
"Hak tienet tiznet! Ih." the thing chirped.
"It's speaking ancient runes!" Sarah declared. The other two looked blankly towards Jumba.
"Is name." Jumba shrugged.
"It's a terrible name!" Winnifred insisted. "Too long! We shall call it… Bu
"Burd?" Sarah asked, confused.
"Close enough." Mary shrugged.
"Hold, villains!" a voice from behind them declared. Janna froze as someone only a few feet from her started yelling. The source of the commotion was a particularly buff-looking knight, having ridden up on one of the strange two-wheeled devices made to look like a horse. "I shall never bow to one such as you! Nor will I allow you to spread your malign influence unabated! Face me, and leave these innocents alone!"
Without missing a beat, Winnifred pointed a finger and began to chant. "Light and dark are not as they seem. Kneel mine fool- immorality beam!"
"Ooh, that's a fun one." Mary commented.
A bolt of dark energy poured out over the man, enveloping him in a somehow-glowing shadow.
"How may I serve you, my dark lady?" the knight immediately dropped to his knees.
A smattering of appreciative applause rose from the crowd. Janna grimaced.
Jumba and Janus exchanged their own look of approval before starting to turn away. "Well then. We'll leave you to it."
"Hold!" Sarah jaunted forward before the scientists could disappear into the crowd and snatched the Experiment off of Jumba's shoulder. "Burd would be far better off with us! It's been so long since we've had a familiar."
The book rustled a few pages.
"O-other than you, Book. An animal familiar!"
Mary nodded in agreement, smiling. "It's been so long, we never had one at all!"
Jumba wore a stormy expression for approximately two seconds. Then it evaporated "Eh. Easy come, easy go. Will have more fun with them. Perhaps create even greater chaos!"
"If you're sure." Janus stroked his chin in thought before shrugging. The Sandersons watched them step back into the crowd to watch the show.
"Now Sarah." Winnifred warned. "This a gr
"But's it's not a plant, Winnie! It's an animal. I think."
Winnifred frowned. "I know that you imbecile. But you will need to feed and water it, and dispose of its… effusions."
Sarah stared blankly until Mary leaned over and whispered something in her ear. "Oh, bleck!"
"Now enough of this prattle. Have either of you seen the girl yet? We must make w
"No, I thought you said we had to clean it?" Sarah asked uncertainly. Burd smiled.
"I did not misspeak!" Winnifred declared, speaking quickly before something else made her not misspeak again. "We must either find the girl now or begin laying waste to the city and gathering the children we require to preserve our youth!"
Okay. Janna thought. Here goes nothing then.
"Hey fuglies!" Janna bellowed in challenge.
All three Sandersons looked to Burd. The Experiment shrugged.
"Janna, do you even have a plan?" Feldrake complained.
"Of course I have a plan."
"Is it a good plan?"
Janna firmed her stance.
Slowly and carefully she drew power to herself. She was going to get one shot at this, which means she would need to make it count. If it worked at all. She might not have been able to beat them openly, but with the right spell maybe she wouldn't need to. Brandishing Feldrake she prepared to cast. And Feldrake realized what she was casting.
"Wait no what are you doiHOK!"
Magic blasted forth from Feldrake's mouth.
"Immortality Beam!"
Janna's eyes widened. "NO!"
But her aim was… perfect. The amount of raw magic being channeled by Burd was enough to manifest visibly, swirls of green and purple twisting Janna's spell, changing it as completely as was possible.
The Sandersons were suffused with radiant white light, all three witches preparing an incantation to defend themselves before they realized it was not necessary. Slowly, once the glow died down, they came to realize that the magic linking them to this world was not so ephemeral as it once was. The unstable dark magic, once only able to be locked in place by child sacrifice, was replaced with something a lot firmer.
Winnifred ran a single hand down her face, feeling the unreplicatable power sink into her veins, twisted by unlucky chance. "My sisters. We… we are free!"
Sarah and Mary broke out into cheers, repeating Winnifred's words in joyous chanting. "Free! Free! Free!"
Winnifred grinned, malice mixing with genuine delight. "Thank you, my dear, for completing our ritual for us! Why, I daresay we may not even need to sacrifice any other children for eternal life!"
Mary seemed a bit put out at that. "I suppose I'll expand my palate."
"You have our gratitude." Winnifred mock-bowed.
"Gratitude… enough to leave in peace?" Janna hazarded hesitantly.
Winnifred looked at her. "Oh no. Of course not! Revenge is still revenge, after all, don't be absurd! The apothecary's building is aflame, so naturally you are next."
"It is?" Sarah asked quietly.
"So-so." Mary replied, waving a hand.
"Regardless!" Winnifred insisted. "If you wish to make your peace, do so quickly." All three Sandersons began to converge on Janna, who took a hesitant step backwards.
Mentally, she ran over the options in her head. Hit them with another spell? No, they'd expect that, and she was still feeling drained from the last time. The crowd was made up of nerds, they wouldn't be of any help even if she could convince them over to her side. Jumba and Janus? Not useless, but not fighters. The Normbots? No, this was a sanctioned company activity and the Sandersons fit the description perfectly. Sweat started to bead on her brow as she backed up from the witches' approach, hesitantly brandishing Feldrake like a club.
Get them talking, maybe? If it could buy her another couple of minutes, maybe she could make it to a storm drain and run for it that way. "So," she said, trying for a tone of casual disinterest instead of the slowly growing terror that was settling in. "-what are you going to do next? Like, you've got the immortality you wanted, right? Now what?"
Mary stopped short. "Ahhhhh… what are we going to do?"
"Hm." Winnifred pondered. " With no further need for consuming children… well. I suppose we shall have eternity to decide."
"After we blast her, right Winnie?" Sarah asked excitedly.
"That's right, sister. Revenge first, existential ponderings later!"
Janna had been slowly inching away all conversation, and saw the last chance she was going to get. She turned to run, hoping to dash into an ally, ask Feldrake, regroup, anything-
And ran directly into Mary.
"Hello dear~" Mary smiled, normally gormless tone gone and replaced with a low, threatening rumble that drove panic directly into Janna's brain.
"How-?!"
"Oh I can be very sneaky when I want to be, dear. Now just calm down, make it easier for us, huh?"
All three witches raised their hands, the first syllable of the vilest curses upon their lips.
The worst part, Janna thought, was that Tom had been right.
And then, suddenly, the space between her and the three witches burst into life.
Plants grew and withered on the spot, preserving down into herbs and spices even as they came to rest at the center of astrological symbols. From the center of an impromptu pentagram a ghostly apparition swirled into being. Long pink hair cascaded in a tangled mess to the ground, matched by a deep purple robe speckled as if by starlight. A tiara lay on her head, and her face was hidden by a fan which disguised all but the glowing symbols upon her cheeks.
She gazed down at the Sandersons, floating slightly off the ground, absolutely still.
A few seconds later Tom flew down from DEI, panting slightly from the speed at which he'd been moving, carrying something in his arms.
The Sandersons stopped short and beheld the apparition before them. They looked at one another for the longest, most uncomfortable minute of Janna's life. Finally, Winnifred nodded. "Ah. I see. So you are the master of this maddening coven."
Celena said nothing, simply floating, staring at the Sandersons, unblinking.
Unfortunately, Janna could see the way she was beginning to shake in place. Tom must've… but that meant…
Okay, so maybe there was one last trick she could try.
It was just going to have to rely completely and totally on someone else.
"That's right." Janna said firmly.
"It is?" Tom asked. "I uh- I mean, yes, yes it definitely is!"
"She's… uh… Queen of Secrets!" Janna continued. "And you're standing on her turf."
The three Sandersons eyed the newcomer warily. After a moment, Winnifred pulled her sisters into a huddle.
"Sisters," She began, as she often did. "It is clear this is not a trick. I can feel the power which emanates from her. Smell it."
"Smells like lemons." Mary noted.
Winnifred glanced back and forth suspiciously. "But we must have our revenge!"
"Must we?" Mary asked, just short of whining. "I wanna go back to Salem Winnie, see if any of my carnivorous plants are still there!"
"They were very sweet." Sarah agreed carefully.
"It was the blood." Mary said proudly. "Now, sister. The girl is humiliated. The apothecary's citadel is burned-"
Mary turned aside.
"Mostly." She muttered, and then returned.
"We have Book, this… delightful newt creature-"
Burd let out a warble.
"And best of all, the eternal life we have sought for so long!" She smiled. "Can't we just… go home?"
Winnifred hemmed and hawwed. "Ohh… augh."
She tapped her foot upon the ground, twisting about in vexation. "You twist my arm! But very well. I suppose we've had our vengeance."
She turned to Celena. "Great witch! Your petty servants have paid for their treachery, and we hath no quarrel with the likes of you. Allow us to go in peace, and we shall trouble you no more."
Janna elbowed Celena. The arm went right through her, but nonetheless the ghost gave a jerky nod.
"Then farewell, foul creatures!" She declared, spreading an arm across the FCLORPers expansively. "Until we meet again!"
"Buh-bye!" Mary said happily, as the three strode off into the… midafternoon.
A moment later Winnifred apparently decided that wasn't dramatic enough, and conjured some hellfire to mark their passing.
Jumba and Janus attempted to start clapping.
"Boo! I wanted a fight!" Someone else snarled, drowning them out.
"Wow." Phineas said from amidst the crowd of roleplayers, taking off his wizard hat. "That was a really good performance."
"Those were definitely real, actual witches." Ferb replied.
===
Celena clutched at her ghostly heart as the stress of being looked at in a public setting became too much for her. She swiftly became incorporeal, retreating to the source of her binding…
"A mason jar?" Janna asked, confused.
"It's a spooky mason jar. We were on a time crunch!" Tom defended his choice.
With all the cool witches gone, most of the crowd dispersed- except for the one guy who'd been turned evil. Feldrake shot a blast of energy at him when he tried to brandish his foam sword, putting him to sleep instantly.
"Yeah right. Anyway, you got a way to fix that guy, Feldrake?" Janna asked casually.
"..."
"...Feldrake?" Janna asked.
"YOU UTTER IMBECILE!!!" Feldrake screeched.
Janna blinked. "Wait, wha-"
Feldrake glowered without moving at all. "What were you thinking?!?"
Janna frowned. "Hey, look, we got the guy-"
"SHE got the guy!" Feldrake said, not glancing at Celena. "You got lucky! I can't believe you threw yourself into pointless danger three times in a row! You caused a stupid problem and couldn't even come up with a stupid solution!"
Janna balled her fists, a lump forming in her throat. "The spell might've worked if the little weirdo hadn't…"
Jumba and Janus began to quietly back away, silently agreeing to not get involved. No one paid them any mind, and before long they vanished into the crowd. A few people were still watching, not really getting the point of this show, while the rest had gone back to their own miniaturized duels or following their phones to the quest markers Phineas and Ferb had set up.
Feldrake just barely didn't quake in anger. "No! It would not have. You can't just shoot the evilizing beam at evil and reverse the spell! You know that. I taught you that!"
"I was desperate!" Janna shouted.
"And you didn't have to be." Feldrake replied coldly. "I thought I taught you better than this. Why didn't you pin the blame on the bozo?!" Feldrake commented, not quite indicating Tom. "Or just get rid of the evidence if you're feeling sentimental? Someone would have stopped them eventually!"
Janna grit her teeth. "I can't just…"
Be like that anymore?
Give up?
Admit defeat?
"...I can't let this beat me. Or else how am I going to save…"
Janna shut up, because the alternative was crying in public, and that was never, ever allowed.
Tom frowned, but didn't speak.
"It's obvious to me you've become too used to waving my power around." Feldrake continued. "If this is your first showing without something backing you up, I. Expect. Better."
Feldrake hesitated. "Look. I don't want to do this. But it's clear you need a push. I'm moving up the timetable. You've got a few more months before I stop doing the heavy lifting for you. Find a new focus, or learn to cast yourself."
"WHAT?!" Janna practically shrieked, turning Feldrake and staring him directly in the eyes. "It was one screw up!"
"It was two years of leaning on other people. Time for tough love. Period. End of story."
"Rrr…Rrraagh!"
Janna hurled Feldrake as hard as she could, sending him flying through the air and embedding him point first in a dumpster.
"Tough love." Feldrake grumbled, banana peel falling onto his face.
Tom very slowly put a hand on Janna's shoulder, resolving to retrieve Feldrake later before any roleplayers took him for a new prop. He opened his mouth to speak, then decided that doing so before Janna was ready was an absolutely terrible idea.
A few seconds passed before Janna couldn't stand the moment any longer. "He's right." She said, gritting her jaw and making sure absolutely nothing leaked out.
"Is he? Really?" Tom said dubiously.
Celena's ghostly visage slowly emerged out of the mason jar. She was practically hiding behind her fan, preparing to cringe away at a second's notice, but she still spoke up.
"From where I'm… floating." Celena said slowly. "I think you could have relied on others more. Not less."
Janna pursed her lips. Then bit them.
Then she walked away.
===
You had spent the last several hours on a flight back from New York City and weren't quite sure what to expect. Trembley: The Musical was a Broadway sensation, the absurd, poignant, fictitious character of the eighth-and-a-half president of the United States was as hilarious as he was tragic. You'd really have to see if they would come and perform in Danville once their Broadway tour was done.
The fighting in the streets, that was expected. Your interns put in a request weeks ago for the 'Largest FCLORP Of All Time' which you declined to join after getting worried people would confuse you for Malifishmertz, but you could respect the drive. The DEI Pentagram Room being burnt out, on the other hand…
You sigh. At least this isn't going to cost you a fortune to rebuild, and there was only one fire in your lobby today. All things considered, an only slightly above average cost to your daily ledgers (a thing you are just now starting to actually look at). With that out of the way it's time to speak to the ghost in question, and the ghost nominally in charge of whatever caused the issue. Malf floats in front of you, rambling on and on without you or the other members of your coven being able to get a word in edgewise.
"So really it's the fault of those ley lines. You know what ley lines are like."
You don't, that's what you expected him to deal with.
"Always… crossing the country where they want. And not bowing to anyone's attempts to map them. It's no wonder that they decided to have a little hiccup and spill out magic ichor all over everything."
"Uh… huh." You say, looking over the written report your coven (mystical interns, but who's counting) had given you about Malf's utterly neglectful conduct and evidence of an unauthorized summoning you were going to have to clamp down on, even if you weren't sure who did it. "And how come my coven's been trying to say something for the last two minutes but they can't?"
Ectoplasm beaded on Malf's brown and slowly dripped onto his robes. "Oh! Heh. Thaaaaaat's… probably because of the Silence. Magnificent spell, Silence, really it's one of my favorites! Just think, with the right applications of Silence you'll never have to listen to your 'advisors' telling you not to do what you want to do ever again!"
Some part of you appreciates the thought, you have fantasized about rebuilding your Mute-Inator during long or especially boring board meetings, but also you kinda have to… do what a CEO does. You're still not entirely sure what that is, admittedly, but it definitely includes listening to those meetings.
You smile, and try to reason with… yourself? "Look, uh… Malf. I get it, I get it, silencing annoying interns is a time-tested tradition. But we really need to… start taking this seriously, you know?" You raise your hands placatively. "Now I get it, ley lines aren't the lynchpin of my business plans for the next year or whatever, but it's been four months and I trusted you with this! What happened?"
"Like I said, just leylines being leylines! Frustrating and hard to work with! I don't think anyone could end up mapping these things, not without them blowing up in your face or something."
He frowns. "Especially not that Celena."
He says the name with bottled hate and rage. The ancient mage is apparently settling in well, and some… byproduct of whatever happened with the summoning apparently made her binding both stronger and more 'mobile' than it would have been otherwise, which means she won't be quite as hard to make use of as Malf is.
Crippling shyness aside.
What were you supposed to be doing? Oh, right, Malf is complaining about everything so no one has a chance to complain about him.
It's a little strange, looking back. A year ago you probably would've agreed with him, perma-silenced interns and challenges to your fragile authority and all, but you've had a lot of time to think about what it really meant that you're in charge of a megacorp now.
And suddenly you realize that if you hold Malf to task for this like a normal person, he's going to get upset. He's going to get downright furious in fact, and do something stupid to make himself feel better. You can't treat him like a normal employee, you…
This is giving you a headache.
But, and this is a horrible think to thought… you could maybe ask Mirage… how she goes about dealing with you?
You bet it has something to do with misdirection.
You smile and try to put theory into practice. "Well… maybe I can find another way to move forward or something, I dunno. For now uhhhhh... Why don't your interns take the next twenty minutes off…" You glance meaningfully at the notes they handed you before ushering them into a back room, then force as much joviality into your voice as you can. "While you spend the rest of our one-on-one telling me about your… uh… your meaty things?"
"AH YES, MY MEATLINGS!" Malf screeches in joy. "Oh, they have so much Evil potential. I've prepared several long, pointless rambles on how they can best terrorize your subjects!"
You slouch back into your seat. Dealing with Malf is likely to be a project. But… maybe you've been looking at this the wrong way. Mostly to avoid thinking about how like you he is, but still. You can probably prevent something like this from happening again in the future.
It could have been worse, but still. You feel like you're due for some good news at this po-
Something kicks your door once, then twice. After an awkward moment Marco gently opened the door and then rushed into the room, running up to your desk and stopping just short of grabbing you by the shoulders.
"Did you mean what you said about finding Star?" Marco asked.
"Uhhh… Yeah." You say, after a moment.
Marco pulls out his phone and pages across to what is unmistakably an image of a girl with bright blonde hair and hearts on her cheeks peeking out of a bush next to a burning Captain Kernel's.
"Toffee's busy. Someone took this picture two days ago. Get to it."
===
-Thanks to the city-wide FCLORP, the Sandersons' magic activities have gone by unnoticed. As mentioned previously, your Occult actions next turn take a -5 penalty.
-The fire in your lobby was barely even irritating, after the foam was cleaned up. It caused no major property damage. The DEI Pentagram Room was a pain to repair, but thankfully not very expensive. Income unchanged.
-The Sandersons have retrieved the Manual of Witchcraft and Alchemy. They have no further need for child sacrifice to sustain themselves, and no further reason to meddle with you, Janna, or DEI. The Sandersons are now a roving Problem, not currently after you but not fond of you either. Last seen heading towards their hometown, Salem. Janna would love to get the book back, but bringing up she lost it would mean having to admit what happened to the whole company… and she's definitely not going after it alone.
At least not yet.
-Feldrake's bonus immediately decreases by -3, and will continue to decrease by -3 to 0 each subsequent turn and remain lowered as long as he is assigned to Janna. He is displeased with Janna's decisions and has decided to cut her off from easy spellcasting. If not necessarily for the reasons most people would agree with.
-Celena the Shy has joined as a hero unit! Instead of being locked to a building (like Malf), she has been successfully bound to a (admittedly slightly spooky) glass jar. She will be able to perform considerably more actions than she would have otherwise been able to! A profile will be added before the next turn starts.
-Malf is very, very upset that you acquired another wizard explicitly against his wishes. He takes a -15 opinion penalty.
-Having a (mostly unproductive) chat with him has kept this anger from being focused on you, so he's just angry in general. Malf has a temporary +10 opinion penalty that decays November/December 2018.
-Manage Malf has been added to Doof's personal actions.
[ ] Manage Malf
Getting Malf to work smoothly in your organization requires you to get… creative. Distract him at the right times, butter him up in the right places, keep him pointed in a vaguely useful direction. This is likely to be a fairly time-intensive endeavor… at least at first.
Taking this action grants Malf a free personal action this turn, and gives a permanent +5 to Malf's opinion.
-Marco has encountered a significant lead on Star. Mirage's vote on the global "Search for Star" action has changed, unlocking the action. You gain +48 progress towards Finding Star.
Candace Flynn narrowed her eyes as the crowd of nerds slowly colonized the street in front of the cafe. Unbeknownst to her, thanks to the addition of a few very good witches, the Dark Lord was going to win this one handily as his forces were moving to mop up the last few survivors.
Her mom was sitting right there. Back to the window as usual. Candace had seen this exact scenario play out before, and just as she was about to yell something about Phineas and Ferb, a thought bubbled up. Something from a comic book Jeremy had suggested she read the other week. Insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and she was not crazy.
Hmm. Maybe a slightly different tactic was in order. If her mom ignored every time she pointed something out, what if she were to notice herself?
"Ooh, hey mom. Is that a parade or something?"
To her surprise and delight, Linda turned around just in time to watch some nerd in plate armor wave his sword in Phineas' general direction. Candace watched her brother unconvincingly clutch at his chest, stagger backwards, and twist his face up as he fell to the ground.
Candace couldn't help but wince a little. She could admit Phineas and Ferb were impressive engineers and good at singing. Acting, not so much. Linda gasped as she went for the door, and Candace felt a foreign sensation that might be triumph as she followed her outside.
Another kid whacked Ferb on the head with a foam mace, and he dramatically sank to his knees. "Lo, I am slain." He announced, monotone.
"Phineas! Ferb!" Linda called, and Candace didn't even notice that she didn't sound upset.
"Hi mom! What do you think of our FCLORP?"
"Their city-wide FCLORP!" Candace chimed in, phone at the ready with triple-backed-up evidence photos.
"Yeah!" Phineas agreed. "Our summer internship was super accommodating!"
Linda smiled. "Well, I think it's amazing, boys! You're taking advantage of a good opportunity to make some managerial skills, and have some fun too! Oh, it reminds me of the time your father took me to one on our third date…"
"B-b-b-b-but they- mom, this thing was huge! Literally city wide! They had hundreds of people and gave them all swords!"
Linda appraised the photos Candace sent her for a second. "That looks like plastic to me!"
"Hundreds of plastic swords!"
Linda shrugged. "I think it's a nice thing for Doofenshmirtz to organize."
"Wh-no, no mom, it was all them! They set it up!" Candace insisted.
"It was a fun early morning." Phineas confirmed.
"You're telling me there were no adults there?"
Candace thought back to the ogre man and the blond guy. "W-well okay, one or two. B-but they were Evil!"
Linda sighed. "Not that again, Candace. They are employees! Running an FCLORP! What's evil about that?"
"The Dark Lord?" Phineas suggested helpfully.
"Aaaargh!"
Her mom was sitting right there. Back to the window as usual. Candace had seen this exact scenario play out before, and just as she was about to yell something about Phineas and Ferb, a thought bubbled up. Something from a comic book Jeremy had suggested she read the other week. Insanity was doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, and she was not crazy.
Hmm. Maybe a slightly different tactic was in order. If her mom ignored every time she pointed something out, what if she were to notice herself?
"Ooh, hey mom. Is that a parade or something?"
To her surprise and delight, Linda turned around just in time to watch some nerd in plate armor wave his sword in Phineas' general direction. Candace watched her brother unconvincingly clutch at his chest, stagger backwards, and twist his face up as he fell to the ground.
Candace couldn't help but wince a little. She could admit Phineas and Ferb were impressive engineers and good at singing. Acting, not so much. Linda gasped as she went for the door, and Candace felt a foreign sensation that might be triumph as she followed her outside.
Another kid whacked Ferb on the head with a foam mace, and he dramatically sank to his knees. "Lo, I am slain." He announced, monotone.
"Phineas! Ferb!" Linda called, and Candace didn't even notice that she didn't sound upset.
"Hi mom! What do you think of our FCLORP?"
"Their city-wide FCLORP!" Candace chimed in, phone at the ready with triple-backed-up evidence photos.
"Yeah!" Phineas agreed. "Our summer internship was super accommodating!"
Linda smiled. "Well, I think it's amazing, boys! You're taking advantage of a good opportunity to make some managerial skills, and have some fun too! Oh, it reminds me of the time your father took me to one on our third date…"
"B-b-b-b-but they- mom, this thing was huge! Literally city wide! They had hundreds of people and gave them all swords!"
Linda appraised the photos Candace sent her for a second. "That looks like plastic to me!"
"Hundreds of plastic swords!"
Linda shrugged. "I think it's a nice thing for Doofenshmirtz to organize."
"Wh-no, no mom, it was all them! They set it up!" Candace insisted.
"It was a fun early morning." Phineas confirmed.
"You're telling me there were no adults there?"
Candace thought back to the ogre man and the blond guy. "W-well okay, one or two. B-but they were Evil!"
Linda sighed. "Not that again, Candace. They are employees! Running an FCLORP! What's evil about that?"
"The Dark Lord?" Phineas suggested helpfully.
"Aaaargh!"
Don't worry Doof, it's (mostly) upwards from here!
…okay so Janna has a motive for stuff
This might be more of an issue. I'm…not sure who else we could offload it onto? My gut says Kitsune (mainly because I don't think we have a better option)
Woo! Celena's not locked to the building. That's always good, and more importantly less chances to interact with Malf
Expected, moving on
Wish it could have been better, but eh, mostly what we needed in the short term
Oh yay an option to actually deal with Malf!
and woo, the other good thing. Something to try next turn.
- Location
- USA
Hmm, I bet the QMS could utilize Feldrake if he's basically done with helping Janna for her own good. He's basically a magicy stick which they could poke with their sciency sticks to speed up their learning of magic. And Leopold (pictured above) is some good muscle to round out the team as a robust powerhouse which would be fantastic for sending QMS on quests. And the QMS is evil-er than Janna which would fit Feldrake's requirement.
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Ohmaigah
Man be Vibin
- Location
- Ask Carmen Sandiego or Waldo
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hmm, I bet the QMS could utilize Feldrake if he's basically done with helping Janna for her own good. He's basically a magicy stick which they could poke with their sciency sticks to speed up their learning of magic. And Leopold (pictured above) is some good muscle to round out the team as a robust powerhouse. And the QMS is evil-er than Janna which would fit Feldrake's requirement.
Oh my god he's their Zordon
Underdog Emiya
God-Emperor of Underkind
- Location
- Brazil
- Pronouns
- He
Hm...Janna training arc perhaps? If Feldrake is unsatisfied with her development as a sorceress, then maybe we should train her in order to improve the Occult stat?
- Location
- USA
I think Feldrake can stay with Janna. She just needs to improve her personal abilities and make better decisions. Feldrake is just tired of being a crutch and wants her to do better. Tough love and all.
The disastrous nat 1 didn't help...
It's more the choices she was making that were making him upset.
Admittedly, there is a bit too much leaning into the dark side at the end there but Feldrake has never claimed to be anything other than a sealed evil sorcerer so... fair enough.
We should probably finish Feldrakes quest line. It could probably lead to some positive results.
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- Location
- Nice try
Hmm, I bet the QMS could utilize Feldrake if he's basically done with helping Janna for her own good. He's basically a magicy stick which they could poke with their sciency sticks to speed up their learning of magic. And Leopold (pictured above) is some good muscle to round out the team as a robust powerhouse which would be fantastic for sending QMS on quests. And the QMS is evil-er than Janna which would fit Feldrake's requirement.
Nothing say he can't change his opnion later and besides his narrative is link to Janna's and has to prove herself as a true sorcerer.
She also likes Feldrake by the way and this is the dark wizard way to make her train herself. If he didn't like her, he would cut her off from his power altoghter.
None of this is unsalvageable, thank goodness. We definitely have to Manage Malf and maybe try and talk with Janna—she needs a bit of our good old fashioned character development magic. I like the idea of trying to finish Feldrake's quest, too.
I'm pretty sure Feldrake's last quest is locked behind Donald showing up. So we're probably going to have to wait a bit until Feldrake gives us the go ahead (to say nothing about the fact that we need a lot of hands on deck in Danville short term)
I say give Feldrake to Lizzy. She's is the type of person who would horrifically murder people with bugs; and has a base occult of 4. Feldrake grants her a passable Occult Score and hefty Martial Boost.
Also if Janna and Lizzy are assigned to a quest Lizzy's Autistic Ass will not notice the bickering as an issue she should address.
Also if Janna and Lizzy are assigned to a quest Lizzy's Autistic Ass will not notice the bickering as an issue she should address.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Honestly, this turned out magnitudes better than expected! I'm going to take this as an absolute win!
- Location
- USA
Really? Let me check really quick.
Yep. You are completely right. Good catch.
