Globby Trap
Wile E. Coyote looked over his work, surveying the ropes he'd used to tie up the large ACME Trap cage above the bait. The cage was the strongest ACME made, guaranteed to stand up to a supervillain, or at the very least a tiger.
The bait was in place too; a perfectly prepared pastrami sandwich placed directly above the large red and white target circle where the cage would fall. Sure the sandwich was a bit soggy from the rain (a factor he never really had to plan for in the deserts of Nevada), but the trap was sound in principle so it should still work!
Now all that was left to do was wait.
____
5 Hours Later
Globby was having a good day. He could finally snatch purses in peace with no one trying to stop him anymore! Well, Felony Karl kept telling him to stop, but that was hardly the same as a superhero punching you in the face! Now he was invincible! No hero could withstand the power of Globby! Yes. It really was a good day!
Globby's head flowed forward from his body as he caught sight of something interesting. There on the street was a perfectly good pastrami sandwhich no one was eating!
"Cool! free Sandwich!" Was this the best day ever or what?
Globby reached out and grabbed the sandwich, taking a large bite and groaning in satisfaction. Sure, t was a bit soggy, but a free sandwich was still a free sandwich!
He never noticed the angry Coyote jumping on the pressure plate that had failed to trigger, causing the cage that Globby hadn't even noticed to fall upon the Coyote trapping him.
____
"So, you're telling me that Globby never even noticed your attempts to recruit him?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz asked his Toon Minion.
"I'm afraid not," Coyote agreed.
"And you spent $2,000 in the attempt?"
"Yes, but 90% of that was on sandwiches. The ACME products I used were at wholesale prices since you own the company. It really kept the cost down."
"Sandwiches? Really?"
"They worked as bait once, I didn't see any reason to stop using them. But the cost of living in San Fransokyo is so high that the cheapest deli sandwich I could find cost $12, and that's without a pickle."
"And medical bills?"
"Negligible. I only got blown up, run over, and crushed a few dozen times. The only significant injuries were from the banana peel."
"Right. Well, that all makes perfect sense. Let's chalk this one up to bad luck. Maybe next time splurge a little and see if the pickles distract him long enough for you to make the recruitment pitch. Everyone loves pickles!"
Doofenshmirtz paused as a thought occurred to him.
"And next time, bring some Doofenshmirtz Quality Bratwurst as some supplemental bait. I'm sure he'll appreciate the workmanship inherent in a quality bratwurst!"
Doofenshmirtz nodded sagely at his employee.
"Anyway, these things happen sometimes. It's always a roll of the dice recruiting people. You just got a bad roll. So Good job. Even if it didn't work out I'm sure you'll recruit him next time!"
