DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
I mean if we're going video game doctors we could do a lot better by getting the medic from TF2, not only fits with us better personality wise but also has a means of making someone literally invincible to all forms of harm for 10 seconds.
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You need specific upgrades to allow for that, also Mercy can Rez the recently Deceased.
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
The medic would also come with an occult stat, as his absurd medical capabilities are cannotically the result of him making a deal with the devil. A deal which he then got out of by grafting eight more souls onto his first soul, meaning the devil only owned one 9th of his soul.
Torgamous
Aspiring Gynoid
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Sounds like Tom might have some objections to hiring him.
Janna Ordonia vs. Dr. Heinz Doofensmirthz
- Pronouns
- Female
Janna Ordonia vs. Dr. Heinz Doofensmirthz
Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF DISNEY!
JANNNNNNA ORDONIAAAAAA!
VS.!
DR. HEINZ DOOFENSMIRTHZZZZZZZZZZ!
BEGIN!
Dr. D: Let me start off with a thanks;
I now know how to spot lame pranks!
You're nothing next to my brilliant brain;
To battle me shows YOU'RE insane!
You're unstable yo;
Go back to making goo goo eyes at Marco!
You can't step up to me, see?;
You couldn't pull off a decent series finale!
Janna: Well boss, no wonder you try to inflate your self-worth!;
Neither of your parents wanted to see your birth!
You're an egghead;
It's a miracle you haven't been blown up dead!
You're not doing too hot;
You should've stayed with the ocelot!
Dr. D: Well, you're creepy!;
And this loss Should affect you deeply!
After your win is rejected;
I'll be there Saying THAT WAS COMPLETELY EXPECTED!
Janna: Hah, yeah right!;
Our skills are like day and night!
Before these words you resist;
You're the world's most pathetic scientist!
Announcer: WHO WON!? WHO'S NEXT?! Y-Y-YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLESSSSSSSS OF DISNEYYYYYYY!
Announcer: EPIC RAP BATTLES OF DISNEY!
JANNNNNNA ORDONIAAAAAA!
VS.!
DR. HEINZ DOOFENSMIRTHZZZZZZZZZZ!
BEGIN!
Dr. D: Let me start off with a thanks;
I now know how to spot lame pranks!
You're nothing next to my brilliant brain;
To battle me shows YOU'RE insane!
You're unstable yo;
Go back to making goo goo eyes at Marco!
You can't step up to me, see?;
You couldn't pull off a decent series finale!
Janna: Well boss, no wonder you try to inflate your self-worth!;
Neither of your parents wanted to see your birth!
You're an egghead;
It's a miracle you haven't been blown up dead!
You're not doing too hot;
You should've stayed with the ocelot!
Dr. D: Well, you're creepy!;
And this loss Should affect you deeply!
After your win is rejected;
I'll be there Saying THAT WAS COMPLETELY EXPECTED!
Janna: Hah, yeah right!;
Our skills are like day and night!
Before these words you resist;
You're the world's most pathetic scientist!
Announcer: WHO WON!? WHO'S NEXT?! Y-Y-YOU DECIDE! EPIC RAP BATTLESSSSSSSS OF DISNEYYYYYYY!
I'm Giving Up on You
Stratagemini
Totally a Fire Ferret.
- Location
- Central Park
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
Doof looks out the window towards the Doofanian Prison complex. It is there that the shattered remnants of his past lie, each of them in bondage.
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., he'd had them arrested. It couldn't continue any longer. If he'd known from the beginning... Had they just communicated.
"I'll be the one, if you want me to..."
He could have helped them! Could have...
Could have... something!
"Anywhere, I would've followed you!"
They were his friends once. His only friends, after...
Everything.
His think-tank, his go to guys, the creators of DoofOS. He made sure to give them tasks that they could accomplish; a steady stream of successes to build their self esteem.
He wanted them to have what he never had.
"Say something, I'm giving up on you..." He whispered into the wind.
"And I am feeling so small,"
Dr. Diminutive did not appreciate his only line in the entire duet being a short joke, but the moment was too sublime to stop it.
"It was over my head..."
Rodney crooned.
"I know nothing at all."
It was only fitting after all that as the leader of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. he got two lines.
"And I will stumble and fall,"
Doof replied, his tongue tripping across the words in his halting timbre.
"I'm still learning to love..."
Doof wasn't good at it. He knew that much. He'd tried. He'd failed. His relationship with Roger... Vanessa...
He'd plan parties for her, but he'd never been able to pin down what she actually liked without his help. Doof knew that was his fault; that it was something he was doing wrong that other fathers didn't because they had someone who taught it. But he didn't know what it was. He didn't even know enough about what he was doing wrong to ask what he was missing.
It had been easier when he was still around. He understood. He knew how to put him at ease. It was never a struggle between the two of them.
"Just starting to crawl..."
But now he was gone, and Doof knew that was his fault too.
He was desperately grasping at straws trying to understand the people around him. How they acted, how they showed each other they cared; but every time he tried to copy them it went horribly wrong.
The books he read said give them the chance to express themselves. They'd never braced him for what happened next. How did you learn to cope with the fact that when your only friends were given the opportunity for creative expression, they took it at your expense?
"Say something, I'm giving up on you,"
Professor Bannister pleaded, overacting his line.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you."
Dr. Bringdown announced in a somber tone that killed all joy.
"Anywhere, I would've followed you,"
Dr. Killbot announced with his electronic vocoder.
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
Doctor Bloodpudding pled to the moonlit air of the empty night.
Doof came to a decision.
"And I will swallow my pride."
That's what it was wasn't it? Pride? Arrogance? Thinking he mattered to them as much as they mattered to him.
"You're the one that I love,"
he could admit that now. He turned to his loved ones in his crisis after his death and...
"And I'm saying goodbye."
And they didn't love him back.
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. didn't care about him. They wouldn't apologize. They wouldn't ever admit that what they did was wrong. And without that, without even the smallest bit of caring...
Doof couldn't keep holding onto their relationship.
"And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you"
Doof sang, wishing there were something he could have done earlier. that he'd realized something was wrong earlier! But...
There wasn't.
"And anywhere, I would have followed you..."
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. sang together, their voices filling the early spring air as they snag their parts in concert.
"Ooh, ooh say something, I'm giving up on you!"
Doof sang back and then, in one voice they sang together!
"Say something, I'm giving up on you!"
The music faded. L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. turned to their own pursuits. And in a slow soft whisper, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz sang:
"Say something..."
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N., he'd had them arrested. It couldn't continue any longer. If he'd known from the beginning... Had they just communicated.
"I'll be the one, if you want me to..."
He could have helped them! Could have...
Could have... something!
"Anywhere, I would've followed you!"
They were his friends once. His only friends, after...
Everything.
His think-tank, his go to guys, the creators of DoofOS. He made sure to give them tasks that they could accomplish; a steady stream of successes to build their self esteem.
He wanted them to have what he never had.
"Say something, I'm giving up on you..." He whispered into the wind.
"And I am feeling so small,"
Dr. Diminutive did not appreciate his only line in the entire duet being a short joke, but the moment was too sublime to stop it.
"It was over my head..."
Rodney crooned.
"I know nothing at all."
It was only fitting after all that as the leader of L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. he got two lines.
"And I will stumble and fall,"
Doof replied, his tongue tripping across the words in his halting timbre.
"I'm still learning to love..."
Doof wasn't good at it. He knew that much. He'd tried. He'd failed. His relationship with Roger... Vanessa...
He'd plan parties for her, but he'd never been able to pin down what she actually liked without his help. Doof knew that was his fault; that it was something he was doing wrong that other fathers didn't because they had someone who taught it. But he didn't know what it was. He didn't even know enough about what he was doing wrong to ask what he was missing.
It had been easier when he was still around. He understood. He knew how to put him at ease. It was never a struggle between the two of them.
"Just starting to crawl..."
But now he was gone, and Doof knew that was his fault too.
He was desperately grasping at straws trying to understand the people around him. How they acted, how they showed each other they cared; but every time he tried to copy them it went horribly wrong.
The books he read said give them the chance to express themselves. They'd never braced him for what happened next. How did you learn to cope with the fact that when your only friends were given the opportunity for creative expression, they took it at your expense?
"Say something, I'm giving up on you,"
Professor Bannister pleaded, overacting his line.
"I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you."
Dr. Bringdown announced in a somber tone that killed all joy.
"Anywhere, I would've followed you,"
Dr. Killbot announced with his electronic vocoder.
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
Doctor Bloodpudding pled to the moonlit air of the empty night.
Doof came to a decision.
"And I will swallow my pride."
That's what it was wasn't it? Pride? Arrogance? Thinking he mattered to them as much as they mattered to him.
"You're the one that I love,"
he could admit that now. He turned to his loved ones in his crisis after his death and...
"And I'm saying goodbye."
And they didn't love him back.
"Say something, I'm giving up on you."
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. didn't care about him. They wouldn't apologize. They wouldn't ever admit that what they did was wrong. And without that, without even the smallest bit of caring...
Doof couldn't keep holding onto their relationship.
"And I'm sorry that I couldn't get to you"
Doof sang, wishing there were something he could have done earlier. that he'd realized something was wrong earlier! But...
There wasn't.
"And anywhere, I would have followed you..."
L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. sang together, their voices filling the early spring air as they snag their parts in concert.
"Ooh, ooh say something, I'm giving up on you!"
Doof sang back and then, in one voice they sang together!
"Say something, I'm giving up on you!"
The music faded. L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. turned to their own pursuits. And in a slow soft whisper, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz sang:
"Say something..."
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
For one turn only a (un)lucky Hero unit can hold a prestigous title thanks to the:
Best-in-the-Biz-(By-Default)-Inator: A random Hero Unit and one of their traits become the pinnacle of that field.
Wort-in-the-Biz-(By-Default)-Inator: A random Hero Unit and one of their traits become the lower limit of that field
(I just know the bad version is going to hit Jumba on a turn we need to do out-geneticist someone. And for that I apologize)
Best-in-the-Biz-(By-Default)-Inator: A random Hero Unit and one of their traits become the pinnacle of that field.
Example: If Janus Lee gets selected, all other traits relating to genetic and vehicle learning actions are all lowered to 19 if greater than that.
Wort-in-the-Biz-(By-Default)-Inator: A random Hero Unit and one of their traits become the lower limit of that field
Example: If Janus Lee gets selected, all other traits relating to genetic and vehicle learning actions are all raised to 21 if less than that.
(I just know the bad version is going to hit Jumba on a turn we need to do out-geneticist someone. And for that I apologize)
Everything is Different Now
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
Everything is Different Now
Your name is Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, and you are completely alone.
You have no idea where you are, surrounded by darkness on all sides you can barely make out your hand in front of your pointy nose. You don't know how you got here, only that it's cold and...
And lonely...
"You've gone too far this time!"
Who was that? You started moving in the direction of the noise but moving is difficult, like you're wading through tar. You try and yell out to them but you can't make any sound, the oppressive atmosphere and pervasive darkness seeming to choke your words before you could say anything.
"Get out there… and put a stop to it!"
Before long you began to see hazy figures in the distance, you tried to get their attention but they simply turned and walked away. The darkness began to slowly slither up your legs as a feeling of dread began to form in the pit of your stomach.
"I didn't tell them to do this! I just told them to do some mad science!"
The voces are becoming clearer as you move forward, before long they're echoing the events of that day all around you as the figures began to appear with them, always just at the edge of your vision. You force yourself forward as your feel begin to stick to the ground, you need to go, to get away from here, to get anywhere...
You slip.
"HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN WHAT THAT MEANS?!?"
You're falling through the darkness, the figures that have been watching you are still there, seeming to stand in mid-air as you fall. You begin to smell smoke and see the destruction LOVEMUFFIN caused t the city, you can almost feel the heat of the fires, almost taste the ashes.
"Just like you told us!"
You hit the ground and the figures draw coser, the voices and echoes of days passed growing stronger as they do so. You close your eyes and enter a fetal position as you try and blot out the noise but it only grows stronger.
"Donde esta la biblioteca?!?!"
"I'm so glad you finally recognize our worth!"
"What did you think you were doing?!"
You brush against something and open your eyes...
"Just… finish putting a stop to this."
A gift basket, and an old brown fedora...
Congratulations, Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, on defecting to the good side...
"You've forgotten what it means to be evil!"
The darkness begins to snake around you again, pinning your arms and legs to the ground as you desperately try to break free, you try to scream but you still can't speak. One of the figures steps forward and lowers itself to make eye contact with you as you begin to sink into the ground. It brings it's hood down...
Rodney?
"Curse you, Heinz Doofenshmirtz!!!"
.
..
...
You wake with a start, cold sweat running down your back. You frantically look around the room for any sign of Rodney... only to take a deep breath and calm yourself down.
A nightmare, that's all it was...
You try and fail to go to back to sleep, but after several minutes you know it isn't going to happen. With nothing better to do you step out onto the balcony to try and get some air, still preoccupied by the nightmare that has yet to fully fade. You were only broken from your attempts to calm yourself by the sound of the door opening.
"Vanessa?" You say when you realize who it was, your voice hoarse and shaky. "What are you doing up so late?"
"I came to check up on you," She tells you as she sits down on the bench behind you. "Monogram told me what happened, I'm... I'm sorry you had to do that."
"There's nothing to be sorry for sweety," You tell her with a forced smile. "LOVEMUFFIN was old hat, something like this was going to happen sooner or later."
"Dad," She tells you. "I know it's har-"
"No, everything is fine Vanessa." You cut her off. "It's just business, you know?"
"Da-"
"And sometimes to rule you need to make the difficult decision to get rid of a fri-subordinate!" You continue. "Not, that this was difficult!"
"D-"
"I don't care about them!" You just kept going. "I'm still just as Evil as I've EVER BEE-"
"DAD!" Vanessa sinaly cuts off your rambling. "You... You're crying..."
You hold a shaky hand up to your face, you can feel the wetness running down your face...
You look out at the city...
And you break down...
Vanessa comes up from behind and gives you a hug, like the ones you used to give her when she had a bad dream.
"I'm no TECHNOR but..." She tells you. "I'm here if you need me dad."
You choke back another sob.
"They were..." You tell her with a whisper. "They were my friends..."
Just a little something I wanted to make based off a nightmare I've had myself, hope you enjoyed.
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Damn, right in the feels there... Well done, nwish. Well done.
Stratagemini
Totally a Fire Ferret.
- Location
- Central Park
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
We can upgrade Normbots.
That seems like the sort of thing that would happen without us needing to vote for it.
...Although, now that you mention it, LOVEMUFFIN could have included backdoors in DoofOS that we don't know about. It might be a good idea to create a new OS instead of continue to attempt to fix our current one.
Implying LOVEMUFFIN ever had access to anything important, besides DoofOS, but we were all planning on improving that anyway.
that would be too bright an idea for them.
They'd probably think about it, then spend a month squabbling about who has the right to make/name the backdoor and finally forget about it a week after that.
They wouldn't have done it collectively, sure. But I can definitely see multiple members of LOVEMUFFIN deciding without telling each other to add a backdoor exclusively for their own use, followed by revealing said backdoors to the rest of LOVEMUFFIN now that we're enemies, followed by squabbling over who stole the idea of adding a backdoor.
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Doofenshmirtz Evil News Network
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
Doofenshmirtz Evil News Network
Gordon Gutsofanemu: In Danville today crowds turned out for the annual Danville Ninja Parade, which once again passed though town again entirely undetected.
Cuts to an interview with Lawrence Fletcher.
Lawrence: This is our fourth straight year coming, and we've still never seen a ninja.
Gordon: According to an arrow scroll delivered straight into the heart of a city clerk this marked the thirtieth year that the Danville area ninjas has stealthy celebrated their heritage.
Lawrence: It's amazing how the ninjas can sneak by undetected honest, the kids love trying to be able to spot them and not being able to.
Gordon: A record crowd of three thousand people came out to not see the ninjas.
Cut to an interview with Biffany Van Stomm and her son Buford.
Biffany: We were right where the ninjas probably were.
Buford: The best part was... probably when I found some candy in my pocket.
Buford shows the candy.
Buford: The ninjas must have come up real fast and and put in all this candy.
Gordon: Despite its long tradition, only once, in 1984, was any evidence of the parade's presence captured on film.
A blurry video of a ninja jumping over a building is shown.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Bridgette Oshinomi: For those just joining us, a tense standoff continues at a Bueno Nacho in Middleton, where a gunman has taken at least seven people hostage. The police received this 911 call from within the restaurant one hour ago.
911 Caller: There's a man shooting at Bueno Nacho. I don't normally eat here or anything. I just ran in real quick to use the bathroom.
Bridgette: We're joined now by Mike van Hatofapilgrim who's standing by outside the Bueno Nacho parking lot. Mike, what do we know about this situation?
Mike: We know the suspect is a white male in his forties who pulled a gun after being caught attempting a dine and dash, he's also refused to communicate with police other than to just hold up a sign stating that he only got a drink and not any Bueno Nacho.
Bridgette: Friends and family members of some of those trapped inside have begun gathering outside the restaurant Mike?
Mike: Yes that's right, I talked to this woman just minutes ago.
Woman: My sister Ellen is in there, she's not eating eating, she's just needing to kill some rats, I mean where else are you going to get something to kill them?
Mike: Bridgette the gunman has reportedly corralled all the hostages into the back of the Bueno Nacho.
Bridgette: I understand the police are attempting to negotiate with the gunman?
Mike: Yes, police are working on a plan to get the gunman to release a couple of hostages, in exchange for having the media refer to him as the 'Fast Food Shooter' or 'Dine and Dash Gunman' instead of the 'Bueno Nacho Shooter'.
Just a few things that popped into my head, both are based on parody videos by the Onion.
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Shame they never felt the same way.
Interlude: Dance, Magic Dance
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Juniper was late.
Normally, this wasn't much of a problem. As long as you practiced the steps on your own time, nobody really cared what time you did it in. The exception, of course, was something like a dress rehearsal, where you being late wasted other people's time.
Today was the day she received her 'special project' from the boss himself, and she could hardly think of a worse person to keep waiting.
---
Juniper burst into the research lab, enormous glam hair flailing in the wind, skidding to a halt on the flat grey tile. The lab was empty.
"Oh no." She said to herself. "Did he leave?"
A monitor flickered on in the back of the room. "Hello Juniper!" Doofenshmirtz's voice echoed out. "I had to leave."
Juniper tried to put on a grin. Doofenshmirtz seemed to have been impressed with her soloist work in his regular evil musical numbers; hopefully this wasn't too much of a black mark?
"It uh… turns out I'm double booked. A few things happened yesterday and uh… well long story short I have an arraignment for like, fifty people at once I need to attend. But don't worry! I have a great solution. I'll just record this little video explanation for you so you can get started. You just won't be able to clarify anything or ask for help in any way."
"Uhhh... ok?" Juniper said uncertainly.
"Now. I imagine my weird dead ancestor who lives in the castle up on the volcano filled you in on the existence of magic and supernatural power?"
"Yeah. But um… I had a few questions? And at least one existential crisis."
The video of Doofenshmirtz paused for a few seconds more, staring awkwardly out from the screen. "I uh… I can't actually hear your response. This is a recording. I'll just assume we're all good. Now behold!"
A spotlight popped on over an empty table. Juniper blinked a few times and then glanced over at the pile of impressive looking artifacts sitting on the adjacent table.
She hesitated for a moment. Learning that magic was real was weird enough, but that didn't mean she had the slightest idea on how to actually start looking into 'dance magic'.
"Now I imagine you don't have the slightest idea how to look into Dance Magic." Doofenshmirtz's recording continued. "But that's fine. Neither do I! I would have put Mal on it, but he insisted on scouring the land for any developments in the creation of potted meat before he completed anything else. I have a bunch of lab techs on standby to assist you, but they… don't really know what they're doing either."
Juniper felt more and more dubious about this by the second.
"But don't worry! If there's one thing I know, it's that if you leave a teenager alone in a room with some sort of rare artifact, there's at least a twenty percent chance that something will happen! Granted, a lot of that data is skewed a bit after everything Janna's done, but eh, you know what they say about statistics. So just mess around with these dance magic artifacts that Feldrake was keeping in his non-denominational vaguely Central-to-South American temple and see what you can do! ...Anyway, I need to go talk to some lawyers about 'criminal negligence' and the various ways in which it hopefully doesn't apply to me, so good luck!"
"I'm twenty-one." Juniper protested to the empty room as she picked up an imposing mask off of the table filled with artifacts. "What am I even supposed to do with this?"
The mask was leather, but painted an eye catching orange. Despite its age, the priceless magical artifact still gleamed.
Juniper bonked it on the table. The mask continued to glare back, its teeth parted in a scowl. "So…. do I just... " Awkwardly, Juniper slipped the artifact over her head and held it there, to no effect. She stood there for a moment, hands on her hips, wondering what to try next.
---
Approximately thirty minutes of capoeira routines and what could loosely be described as the experimental method later, Juniper decided to take a break.
"I need a pick-me-up." She panted, reaching for her half of the energy orb she and her mother had powered their electrifying dance moves with before they split up. It gave off a burst of electric blue energy, which tethered itself to her and gave her a pleasant energy boost. Her thoughts drifted back towards their less than friendly parting like rubbing a missing tooth. She pulled off the mask, and wondered how her mom was doing no- "Owch!"
Juniper jumped as the wristbands she used to store the orb's electric charge gave off a painful spark. This wasn't the first time it had happened, building and maintaining their own technology led to a few accidental misfires in the past, but…
"I wonder…" Juniper held the mask up for a moment. Then, activating her bracelets again, she tried to pull power out of it the same way she did her energy hemisphere. Striking a pose and activating her bracelets, the effects were immediate.
Bolts of yellow lightning burst out of the mask, arcing into Juniper's wristbands and suffusing the air with the smell of ozone.
"Woah!" Juniper grinned. "Now I'm getting somewhere! Dance magic, come to mamma!"
The power of the mask began to travel back to Juniper's orb, causing its color to swap between blue and yellow. Incredible magical potential filled it as Juniper danced her way through a routine. "Heck yeah! This is going great!"
The mask cracked in two.
"Wh- oh no!" Juniper snapped out of her routine, fruitlessly trying to put the two halves of hardened leather back together. "Not now, I was just getting somewhere! I-"
Juniper turned. Her electric half-orb, now filled well beyond capacity with esoteric energy, was beginning to shudder, hum and spark.
"Uh oh." Juniper just barely had time to say before it exploded.
She was no stranger to ostentatious costumes. It was hard to be when you were a supervillain in San Fransokyo, after all. Even so, what was happening to her looked just a bit ridiculous. Juniper watched in a mixture of shock and awe as yellow fur slowly crawled up her arms and legs until she was covered with it.
"That's… it? That doesn't seem so bad." she remarked before catching sight of her reflection in a nearby window. Her purple and black costume was now contrasted by neon yellow fur with blazing orange highlights, and to top it all off an enormous pair of horns were growing out of her head.
Juniper screamed.
The door behind her slammed open as a short man with blue hair and red goggles rushed in, a look of wonder on his face. "I'd know the sound of that transformation sequence anywhere!"
Juniper screamed again. "Who the heck are you?!"
"Hi!" The scientist replied, "I'm Gomez! This is my lab!"
"It… is?"
"Well. It was L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s lab. I've been part of the team for a few months, but I was out sick yesterday aaaannd… I don't think they'll be coming back. I'm just gonna hope Doofenshmirtz doesn't notice me."
"And you… know what just happened?"
"Of course! Back when I lived in Neuevo Nizza, I helped our corrupt former mayor fight these ancient yet mysteriously child-shaped guardians with the power of magical capoeira and totem spirits! I don't know how you managed it, but somehow you've unlocked the form of the Pronghorn and the incredible power of the Combos Ninos!"
"I'm going to have to think of a better name than that."
"Fair enough!"
"Does this… wear off?"
"Yeah, it's your standard use until power is exhausted or you get severely injured type deal. You can probably turn it off if you stop drawing power from that floating thing?"
Juniper turned to see her energy orb. Not only was it complete once again, its blue body sparked with yellow light and it had grown a pair of flickering yellow protrusions shaped exactly like the horns on her head. She allowed her tether to it to relax, and the glow faded as her body went back to normal.
"Phew. Okay, so. If you're familiar with this, can you teach me how to use it?"
"Afraid not. I could maybe teach you how to fight it, usually by summoning extradimensional monsters to terrorize the local city, but since my new boss doesn't seem to like that sort of thing even that's probably a bad idea. Unless you already have the ability to dance-fight by drawing on a mysterious external power source you're probably out of luck."
Juniper grinned.
Wow, she thought. I bet my mom wishes she had animal powers like this.
---
Dance Magic Theory Occult Action unlocked!
Juniper gains an Occult rating of 8!
7 occult hero units reached! Create a Coven DC lowered!
Basic Magical Theory Occult Action unlocked!
Juniper gains trait: Combos Chica: Can add Occult to Martial when doing dance battling, +15 on any rolls related to dancing.
Normally, this wasn't much of a problem. As long as you practiced the steps on your own time, nobody really cared what time you did it in. The exception, of course, was something like a dress rehearsal, where you being late wasted other people's time.
Today was the day she received her 'special project' from the boss himself, and she could hardly think of a worse person to keep waiting.
---
Juniper burst into the research lab, enormous glam hair flailing in the wind, skidding to a halt on the flat grey tile. The lab was empty.
"Oh no." She said to herself. "Did he leave?"
A monitor flickered on in the back of the room. "Hello Juniper!" Doofenshmirtz's voice echoed out. "I had to leave."
Juniper tried to put on a grin. Doofenshmirtz seemed to have been impressed with her soloist work in his regular evil musical numbers; hopefully this wasn't too much of a black mark?
"It uh… turns out I'm double booked. A few things happened yesterday and uh… well long story short I have an arraignment for like, fifty people at once I need to attend. But don't worry! I have a great solution. I'll just record this little video explanation for you so you can get started. You just won't be able to clarify anything or ask for help in any way."
"Uhhh... ok?" Juniper said uncertainly.
"Now. I imagine my weird dead ancestor who lives in the castle up on the volcano filled you in on the existence of magic and supernatural power?"
"Yeah. But um… I had a few questions? And at least one existential crisis."
The video of Doofenshmirtz paused for a few seconds more, staring awkwardly out from the screen. "I uh… I can't actually hear your response. This is a recording. I'll just assume we're all good. Now behold!"
A spotlight popped on over an empty table. Juniper blinked a few times and then glanced over at the pile of impressive looking artifacts sitting on the adjacent table.
She hesitated for a moment. Learning that magic was real was weird enough, but that didn't mean she had the slightest idea on how to actually start looking into 'dance magic'.
"Now I imagine you don't have the slightest idea how to look into Dance Magic." Doofenshmirtz's recording continued. "But that's fine. Neither do I! I would have put Mal on it, but he insisted on scouring the land for any developments in the creation of potted meat before he completed anything else. I have a bunch of lab techs on standby to assist you, but they… don't really know what they're doing either."
Juniper felt more and more dubious about this by the second.
"But don't worry! If there's one thing I know, it's that if you leave a teenager alone in a room with some sort of rare artifact, there's at least a twenty percent chance that something will happen! Granted, a lot of that data is skewed a bit after everything Janna's done, but eh, you know what they say about statistics. So just mess around with these dance magic artifacts that Feldrake was keeping in his non-denominational vaguely Central-to-South American temple and see what you can do! ...Anyway, I need to go talk to some lawyers about 'criminal negligence' and the various ways in which it hopefully doesn't apply to me, so good luck!"
"I'm twenty-one." Juniper protested to the empty room as she picked up an imposing mask off of the table filled with artifacts. "What am I even supposed to do with this?"
The mask was leather, but painted an eye catching orange. Despite its age, the priceless magical artifact still gleamed.
Juniper bonked it on the table. The mask continued to glare back, its teeth parted in a scowl. "So…. do I just... " Awkwardly, Juniper slipped the artifact over her head and held it there, to no effect. She stood there for a moment, hands on her hips, wondering what to try next.
---
Approximately thirty minutes of capoeira routines and what could loosely be described as the experimental method later, Juniper decided to take a break.
"I need a pick-me-up." She panted, reaching for her half of the energy orb she and her mother had powered their electrifying dance moves with before they split up. It gave off a burst of electric blue energy, which tethered itself to her and gave her a pleasant energy boost. Her thoughts drifted back towards their less than friendly parting like rubbing a missing tooth. She pulled off the mask, and wondered how her mom was doing no- "Owch!"
Juniper jumped as the wristbands she used to store the orb's electric charge gave off a painful spark. This wasn't the first time it had happened, building and maintaining their own technology led to a few accidental misfires in the past, but…
"I wonder…" Juniper held the mask up for a moment. Then, activating her bracelets again, she tried to pull power out of it the same way she did her energy hemisphere. Striking a pose and activating her bracelets, the effects were immediate.
Bolts of yellow lightning burst out of the mask, arcing into Juniper's wristbands and suffusing the air with the smell of ozone.
"Woah!" Juniper grinned. "Now I'm getting somewhere! Dance magic, come to mamma!"
The power of the mask began to travel back to Juniper's orb, causing its color to swap between blue and yellow. Incredible magical potential filled it as Juniper danced her way through a routine. "Heck yeah! This is going great!"
The mask cracked in two.
"Wh- oh no!" Juniper snapped out of her routine, fruitlessly trying to put the two halves of hardened leather back together. "Not now, I was just getting somewhere! I-"
Juniper turned. Her electric half-orb, now filled well beyond capacity with esoteric energy, was beginning to shudder, hum and spark.
"Uh oh." Juniper just barely had time to say before it exploded.
She was no stranger to ostentatious costumes. It was hard to be when you were a supervillain in San Fransokyo, after all. Even so, what was happening to her looked just a bit ridiculous. Juniper watched in a mixture of shock and awe as yellow fur slowly crawled up her arms and legs until she was covered with it.
"That's… it? That doesn't seem so bad." she remarked before catching sight of her reflection in a nearby window. Her purple and black costume was now contrasted by neon yellow fur with blazing orange highlights, and to top it all off an enormous pair of horns were growing out of her head.
Juniper screamed.
The door behind her slammed open as a short man with blue hair and red goggles rushed in, a look of wonder on his face. "I'd know the sound of that transformation sequence anywhere!"
Juniper screamed again. "Who the heck are you?!"
"Hi!" The scientist replied, "I'm Gomez! This is my lab!"
"It… is?"
"Well. It was L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N.'s lab. I've been part of the team for a few months, but I was out sick yesterday aaaannd… I don't think they'll be coming back. I'm just gonna hope Doofenshmirtz doesn't notice me."
"And you… know what just happened?"
"Of course! Back when I lived in Neuevo Nizza, I helped our corrupt former mayor fight these ancient yet mysteriously child-shaped guardians with the power of magical capoeira and totem spirits! I don't know how you managed it, but somehow you've unlocked the form of the Pronghorn and the incredible power of the Combos Ninos!"
"I'm going to have to think of a better name than that."
"Fair enough!"
"Does this… wear off?"
"Yeah, it's your standard use until power is exhausted or you get severely injured type deal. You can probably turn it off if you stop drawing power from that floating thing?"
Juniper turned to see her energy orb. Not only was it complete once again, its blue body sparked with yellow light and it had grown a pair of flickering yellow protrusions shaped exactly like the horns on her head. She allowed her tether to it to relax, and the glow faded as her body went back to normal.
"Phew. Okay, so. If you're familiar with this, can you teach me how to use it?"
"Afraid not. I could maybe teach you how to fight it, usually by summoning extradimensional monsters to terrorize the local city, but since my new boss doesn't seem to like that sort of thing even that's probably a bad idea. Unless you already have the ability to dance-fight by drawing on a mysterious external power source you're probably out of luck."
Juniper grinned.
Wow, she thought. I bet my mom wishes she had animal powers like this.
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Dance Magic Theory Occult Action unlocked!
Juniper gains an Occult rating of 8!
7 occult hero units reached! Create a Coven DC lowered!
Basic Magical Theory Occult Action unlocked!
Juniper gains trait: Combos Chica: Can add Occult to Martial when doing dance battling, +15 on any rolls related to dancing.
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Hopefully that means that Coven will be in reach next turn after Janna's interlude.
Does this stack with the other trait she has that does the same thing?
- Location
- California, United States
Oh God no, not the Combos Ninos. I felt awful enough when Weredrago showed it to us. Glad Gomez is here though.