Not to rain on the parade, but, while she was a colonist, Abigail was born in Massachusetts.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
Use a time machine to cause the British Empire to take over their home countries, making them all British!
Alternatively, we make a British-Bloodline-inator.
AProcrastinator
You can Certainly Try
- Location
- Getting Somewhere
- Pronouns
- She/Hers
I mean, it'll probably give us a leg-up when it comes time to negotiate with Belos...
Belos isn't the "negotiation" type.
Will we have to replace the Doof in the House achievement with a King Heinz I of Great Britain achievement instead???
She was a British colonist. If Wittebane is British, she is British!
Wittebane is American and that's kinda the issue. He's, like, an allegorical representation of the generational hatered at...Eh. Nevermind.
If you asked a Colonist what their nationality is, they'd say British. It's a big reason the taxation laws where as poorly received as they where (As it was saying they were not British Citizens since they were being taxed despite not having represenatives in Parliament)
Omegahugger
Inattentive Idiot
Philip Wittebane left Connecticut before the American States became independent, so him being American doesn't counteract him being British.
Meaning we could, in theory, travel into his mind and throw his Inner Belos through a window.
- Location
- Nice try
You know I was thinking about TRON movies and the Tron of this universe, a universe that villain won, end up at least a bit better in his situation than canon since in Tron: Uprising, one could argue as a dark series since the efforts of the main characters ultimately amount to nothing and fail, he would end up brainwash by Clu as one of his enforcers.
At least here he still a free person or free program in this case.
At least here he still a free person or free program in this case.
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A Program is a person; would you deny the personhood of people like CLU, Quorra, or Ralph?
Program's are not a mindless robot waiting to spark, they have lives they live. While many do put a religious level of focus on their purpose for creation; it is more similar to a Toons need to entertain then a robot's mindless automation. A Program can have friends, a Program may go to a Club or watch the big game on TV. Programs deal with Prejudice between themselves, with Strays and Iso's being looked down upon for lacking such a purpose; and Sprites not giving users nearly as much praise as the Basics do to seeing them and interacting more Directly. One of the biggest issues the Thread has with PCJ is we act like she isn't a person since so many assume Programs are Robots; and need to Spark to become a person, instead of simply being a Person. Talking with Doof's administration Program isn't "Get CJ to spark" it's to start getting Doof to start talking to one of his most neglected employees.
And I get it, Programs can come off as robotic at time; but listen to Tron and Sark talk in the Grid itself; see the emotion and cadence they speak with, and you realise that they just as much are people as the rest of us. MCP talks somewhat robotically, but thats not do to being a Program, rather it's do to MCP being such a massive, bloated, power-hungry control freak he talks in the way he deems to most efficent and imposing.
I mean, the other reason is that the QMs have openly admitted to just not knowing what to do with her.
Omegahugger
Inattentive Idiot
I believe the traditional thing for writers to do with an AI character they otherwise don't know what to do with is to have them turn evil and try for world domination and/or seek the destruction of the human race.
That is true, but thats not an issue with the Thread. And they have also stated they now do have ideas for CJ.
I think its super important as we start doing Grid stuff we remember a Program and an AI are vastly different things; and that a Program is always a person, while an AI is only one if they spark.
Ya know, I was double-checking the list of Negaduck murder victims back when he was trying to send a message to Xanatos, and...Jonathan Frakes is the guy who voices Xanatos. The other person on that list who has voiced a King is Jason Michael Lee, who voiced Syndrome...Is this a message about his plan, beyond the spelling? Normally, i'd reject it, but Toons have a weird relationship with the fourth wall...Nah.
Quest: Magic Missile's Red Glare- Hands Across the Sea
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Night has fallen. You have only the slightest view outside of the confessional, but the stained glass windows outside have gone dark. The chapel is lit by flickering candles and a few overhead lights, casting the nave in deep shadows. Outside, crickets and cicadas create a chorus in the woods that you can hear even through the walls. You hear footsteps approach, and nod to where Monogram is watching you from the table. Seems like it's time.
Horvath is more or less the same as you remember him. Oversized, fur-lined coat, slightly outdated collar, though not easy to notice at first glance. High-brimmed felt hat, and crystal-topped cane brimming with arcane power. Goatee. He steps into your room in the confessional as if the barrier was not there.
Horvath looks down on you with a look that is not annoyance, if only because it expected to be disappointed. Down, both because he does in fact have a few inches on you, and because within a second of his arrival into the room the cane flashes and you feel your body being forced to its knees. You consider fighting it, but don't. You'll need energy for more important things in a moment, and if you're lucky, he's still underestimating you.
"So, you're from the government." He says conversationally, as if he'd just sat down to tea. "I suppose it was inevitable someone would come poking around eventually, after Balthazar's little stunt."
You say nothing, and a moment stretches out until it quickly snaps. Horvath folds his hands differently, and leans down.
"I believe you're supposed to provide a name? Rank? Serial Number?" He asks, voice just short of mocking. You try to project defiance, laced with fear.
"Ah, well." Horvath says, straightening up again. "Now, see, you've put us in a bit of an awkward situation. The easiest thing to do would be to send you off with those unnecessary memories carted away. No need to further antagonize you government sorts. But if you refuse to let us divest you of those… incriminating details, I'm afraid I will have to rip them out of your feebly resisting mind." He shrugs casually. "And who knows what sort of trouble I might cause."
You make sure what little of your posture you can control conveys strained certainty.
"Sending the Americans back a vegetable would not be in my best interest but, if all goes to plan, I will quite shortly not have to deal with the ire of the United States ever again. So, I hope you understand that if I'm to make sure my plans are uninterrupted, I'll need your head empty. One way or the other."
One quick goad.
"What makes you think it's not already too late?" You smile.
Russ Intrigue check: Mind Trap
66% CoS, 94+ 3-
90+38 (Russ)+23 (Monogram)=151
Horvath Opposed
34% CoS, 98+ 7-
65+26 (Horvath)+18 (Abigail)=109
Russ Success
Horvath's false smile fades away, leaving the scowl you'd hoped to see. He bends down to your face, and with a flash of light and a pain behind your eyes he is falling, falling…
Horvath is alone in a long, dark corridor. A strange, stuttering sound fills the air, seeming to emanate from nowhere. The hall is made of polished stone floor and plain manilla walls, stretching on so far its distant ends fade into white haze. The hall is filled with doors.
This is not so different from what Horvath has seen before. He steps forward, approaching one door made of sturdy oak. Not metal. That's important. The metaphor is the meaning, in the mind. Sturdy, but nothing he can't handle.
Horvath's staff flashes, and the lock on one door clicks gently. Horvath peeks inside, a look of slightly bored interest on his face…
Hm 1937, Vzks Chrmdx qdkdzrdc Rmnv Vghsd, bnmrhcdqdc ax lzmx sgd ehqrs sqtd zmhlzsdc lnuhd zr vd tmcdqrszmc sgdl snczx. Bnmrhcdqdc ctqhmf oqnctbshnm sn ad 'Vzks'r Enkkx', sgd-
Raw information bombards Horvath, a memory encapsulated in a single burst of information. All complete gibberish.
"Blast." Horvath mutters. "Of course a spy would encrypt himself. Fine, then, once I have the schema the rest will fall into place…"
And so Horvath sets to work, staff occasionally manipulating the raw information before him in inexplicable ways, setting himself, if only for a few moments, to the task of solving this puzzle.
Completely insensate to the world around him.
===
Outside, a fox slips quietly through the church's hedgerows. Under the moonlight, the stained glass of the building took an inky pallour, shadowing any sight of what may be happening within. Kitsune glances at the darkened glass, feeling the seconds slowly tick down. Strange, how the moments seemed to slow at times like this.
Something glints through the corner of the window. The barest flash of something, perhaps the flicker of a candle from inside, or a stray moonbeam catching at just the right angle. Kitsune closes her eyes and listens carefully. Behind her, under the dull thrum of night, a roar begins to build.
The oak doors of the chapel explode inwards with a crashing of stone as something forces its way through the wall, chunks of stone and wood falling all across the room.
Ratting In
82% CoS, 93+ 2-
72+39 (Balthazar)+23 (Kitsune)+12 (Now You See Me)+40 (Ratte Tank)=176
Blackbeard's Ghost opposed
18% CoS, 99+ 8-
83+36 (Blackbeard's Ghost)+29 (Abigail)+10 (Redcoat)=162
Success
The moonlight from outside is blotted out by a massive mechanical construct that looms in the cloud of dust, rising partway to the arched ceiling. Its surface glimmers wildly under incandescent churchlight, an intricate tessellation of metallic fur and tails, snarling rodent heads imposed on gears between them at precise intervals. Metallic, murine laughter fills the air as mechanical claws in the facsimile of treads scrabble for purchase, heaving its bulk through the opening and further destroying the wall. The heads shift as one and cast dozens of pinpricks of red light onto a clearly surprised Redcoat and Abigail.
There is a brief moment of silence, before the Morganians snaps to action. Blackbeard roars as he ascends up to the peak of the ceiling as the Redcoat shoves a hand into his pocket, pulling Abigail under the cover of the pews even as she tries to clutch at the pentagram around her neck.
Redcoat+Abigail vs Balthazar
21% CoS, 99+ 8-
64+20 (Redcoat)+29 (Abigail)+18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=143
Balthazar opposed
79% CoS, 93+ 2-
22+39 (Balthazar)+23 (Kitsune)+40 (Ratte Tank)=126
Redcoat Success
Blackbeard hollers something piratical as he clenches a fist, debris from the tank's unexpected entrance raising up in a spectral grip. Chunks of stone and splintered pews slowly pick up speed as they rotate in place, before coming down in a cascade onto the construct along with the pirate himself. Blackbeard's saber is extended, glowing with an eerie blue-green light, as it sinks into the front of the tank like a knife going through butter. A chorus of incoherent screams and curses echoes around the room as the debris and knife leave their marks, distorting the fractaled surface with a gigantic gash and an assortment of smaller craters.
The Redcoat, for his part, scrabbles for his focus, hurriedly incanting a barrier in place with one hand as he cocks a flintlock pistol with the other. Beside him, Abigail follows his lead, a red glow building in her eyes-
Kitsune+Balthazar vs Abigail
83% CoS, 93+ 2-
92+39 (Balthazar)+ 23 (Kitsune) +12 (Now You See Me) +40 (Ratte Tank)=206
Abigail Opposed
17% CoS, 99+ 8-
51+29 (Abigail)+20 (Redcoat) +5(Mind Magic) +18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=135
Kitsune Success
Only for a swirl of fur to collide into her, shattering her nascent barrier in a crack of red lightning and throwing her against the church's eastern wall. Striding atop the tweenage witch, Kitsune looms, Talisman clutched in her mouth. Abigail raises a hand towards the fox, only to tremble, eyes going wide as the world flickers around her.
"Abigail!" The Redcoat twists his hand through the air, the air around him closing to a tunnel between him and the nine-tailed beast looming over her. Long practice brings the pistol up, squared on the creature's chest. The distance closes, and there's just enough time for Kitsune to look the Redcoat in the eye before disappearing in a bloom of gunpowder.
Abigail+Redcoat vs Kitsune
24% CoS, 98+ 7-
56+29 (Abigail)+20 (Redcoat) +18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=123
Kitsune Opposed
76% CoS, 94+ 3-
87+39 (Balthazar)+ 23 (Kitsune) +40 (Ratte Tank)=191
Kitsune Success
The ear-splitting explosion echoes sharply through the distorted space as the musket ball twists up and away from the witch, lodging itself deep inside a ceiling beam. The Redcoat strides through the compressed space, yanking Abigail to her feet as a swirl of gunpowder floats itself down the barrel of his sidearm.
Only as a ball of lead clunks into place is he able to spot the fox diving inside the confessional.
===
Hm sgd dzqkhdrs czxr, 'Atfr Atmmx' zmc 'Czeex Ctbj' vdqd mdzqkx hmchrshmfthrgzakd bgzqzbsdqr. Sgd zmshbr ne sgd zqbgdsxohbzk rbqdvazkk zmhlzk vntkc mns etkkx bgzmfd tmshk sgdx zoodzqdc snfdsgdq hm sgd rdlhmzk 1951 Qzaahs Ehqd, sgdhq qnkdr hm sgzs rdptdmbd pthbjkx gzqcdmhmf hmsn sgd qnkdr sgzs vntkc bzszoztks sgdl sn ezld zr sgd kzrs fqdzs rszqr adenqd sgd dmc ne-
The concepts fly around Horvath as he opens doors, finding more and more information to add to his understanding of whatever defenses stand in his way. He raises a finger as a word, [sequence], finally resolves out of the mess. With a grin of triumph, he tosses aside the limited protections facing him.
Fdqshd sgd Chnosaur was one of the first toons to achieve fame. Originally created in 1914 and first famous as a curiosity and vaudeville act, Gertie would later become one of the first Toon stars to step onto the silver screen.
Outrage blooms across Horvath's face. "WHAT-"
The projector shuts off. All around Horvath, metal walls clang down like bulkheads closing. The walls you are lowering will not stop an Archmage. But they will make him very annoyed.
In the real world, Russ winces, stuck still in Horvath's spell. The pain he is experiencing cannot be called unimaginable, because Russ is imagining it. Every effort is being spent on slowing Horvath down without letting him into the bulk of your mind, the places of your hopes, your dreams, the places the man could tear apart upon his way out. The walls crack- every inch of your mental fortitude buckling under a millennium of mystic might.
Twisting back into a humanoid form, Kitsune stalks around the two men, locked in a grave mental contest. To her, the waves of magic are obvious, as is the strain permeating the confessional's air. The slightest disturbance could send the whole affair careening into chaos.
Russ + Kitsune Occult vs Horvath
69% CoS, 94+ 3-
56+19+25+15 (Yang Talisman)=115
Horvath Opposed:
31% CoS 98+ 7-
66+38=104
Glancing at the barrier crackling around Horvath's shoulders, Kitsune lifts a sizable piece of plaster with her tail, and chucks the lot at the archmagister's head. It impacts with a dull thunk, and Horvath grimaces as the pain of solid plaster pulls him out of someone else's thoughts.
You blink, suddenly aware and, at least compared to the other guy, alert. You likely have a matter of seconds before Horvath does recover. The Muppets are peeking around the corner, checking to see if it's time to run yet. Kitsune could get in- you can't get out. The solution is obvious.
"Get us out of here!"
Balthazar: Break Wards
DC 120
85% CoS, 92+ 2-
61+39 (Balthazar)+25 (Kitsune) +40 (Ratte Tank)=165
Success
Balthazar, stepping out from behind the tank, raises his hand in concentration, the ward around the confessional flaring into full visibility. An expression of concentration on his face, Balthazar's fingers twist as one by one the arcane sigils are slowly unwound, until they collapse in a flare of sparks with a sound like shattering glass.
The field is down, you're free to leave, and there's just one thing to do first.
Russ: The Magic Touch
74% CoS 94+ 3-
69+14 (Russ)+23 (Kitsune)= 106
Horvath Opposed Martial
26% CoS 98+ 7-
21+10 (Spell Shock disrupts Phenomenal Cosmic Power)=31
Russ Success
You take advantage of the second that you have and catch Horvath with a solid right hook to the jaw. Unprepared, he cannot react in time and stumbles backwards, tripping over a piece of debris.
"You should have aimed lower." Kitsune notes.
"Live first, banter later." You reply. You still smirk, though, even as you rush out of the room and grab your effects.
You press the fob, and suddenly your ride is on the way.
"Quick, get moving!" you hear Monogram's distorted reflection yell at the Muppets. "Straight out the door!" A second's pause. "-through the gaping hole, go right!"
Redcoat: Deploy Space Barrier
DC 135
37% CoS, 97+ 6-
80+32 (Redcoat)+29 (Abigail)+10 (Redshift)=151
Redcoat Success
Horvath groans as he begins to push himself to his feet, the Muppets clambering around his prone form. As soon as you can confirm they're all out of the confessional, you run off towards the gaping hole in the wall. A few seconds of getting nowhere is all it takes for you to realize that you've seen this trick before.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a blood-red glow building. You twist to the side in anticipation, just in time to see Kitsune raising the Yang talisman towards Abigail.
Kitsune attacks Abigail
76% CoS, 93+ 2-
83+39 (Balthazar)+ 23 (Kitsune) +12 (Now You See Me) +40 (Ratte Tank)=197
Abigail Opposed
24% CoS, 99+ 8-
76+29 (Abigail)+20 (Redcoat) +5(Mind Magic) +18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=160
Kitsune Success
The blast of plasma goes wide as Abigail flinches, splashing harmlessly off a pane of stained glass. You catch only the edges of something, like the frame of an empty window. No amount of mind training will let you see magic, but you can see the cast-offs from what Kitsune is doing; little wisps of smoke and phantom sensations meant for Abigail, that in some indescribable way trail off in a direction that you don't have words for.
What matters is the effect.
Abigail stares off into the middle distance, eyes darting between targets that are not there. She tries to hide the emotion but you can see panic beginning to set in, the way she shrinks back, her breaths quickening.
Kitsune closes the distance far quicker than she should have, a seemingly casual stride bringing her close enough to press the talisman into Abigail's forehead. The Morganian goes slack with a spark of red light, slumping back against the cushioning of the Kitsune's tails. Carefully, Kitsune lowers the girl to the ground, plucking the pentacle from her hands. She examines it for a moment, spinning the pendant on the tip of her finger, before letting it clatter to the ground.
Only to turn face to face with Maxim Horvath.
Horvath takes in his fallen subordinate as he circles the battlefield warily. His eyes flick to where Balthazar is still grounding the remains of the ward before looking up to consider Kitsune carefully.
"You're not exactly what I expected the country to send. Some sort of… hybrid? No, half-children of the faeries are typically less… obvious. Some descendant then? A thinning of the blood?"
He takes step by careful step, coming closer and forcing Kitsune to maintain distance. She circles around the pews, carefully matching each step, eyes flicking towards the sickly blue glow at the tip of the archmage's cane.
Horvath comes to a stop next to Abigail as Balthazar grounds the last of the ward. He keeps an eye on Horvath, but before he can resume their duel Blackbeard breaks off from your mechanical monstrosity to worry the wizard with saber held high.
The tank in turn focuses on the Redcoat, attempting to cross the distance between them and grind him under its claws. The mechanical beast heaves through the air, obviously putting on speed even as it bulges through the intervening space at the speed of molasses. The Redcoat flings himself to the side, barely skipping out of range as the rat tank explodes into a flurry of motion, dozens of screaming rat heads cursing in unison as it blasts past its target into the opposite wall.
On the ground, Abigail stirs. "...M …Master Horvath?"
Horvath crouches down slightly, favoring Abigail with a resigned air. "Still alive, Abigail? I'm afraid you've failed."
"I'm… sorry." She replies, weakly, struggling to pull herself up.
"Yes, well, you should be." he replies coolly, before tapping the tip of his cane gently against her neck.
A sound like a shriek does not have time to begin before it is torn out of Abigail's throat. Your head whips around, almost involuntarily, focusing on what had previously been an unimportant backdrop to your escape. In an instant pulsing blue tendrils throb out of her neck, sickly color spreading from the point of contact. Horvath watches dispassionately, apparently not even winded.
Parasite
DC 79
70% CoS 94+ 3-
4+38+10=52
Nearly Critical Failure
"At least I'll still get some use out of your en-"
All at once, the sickly glow stops. The tank careens through another portion of the wall, suddenly moving much faster than it was expecting. The tendrils of light drawing from Abigail begin to move back into Horvath's cane, at first by inches and then in a single smooth motion, like water drawn into a pipette. Colors distort in front of you as Horvath seems to move backwards, withdrawing his cane from her neck as he stands up and takes a step back, each of his motions trailing an ethereal sand.
Step. Horvath's face goes from a calculating impassiveness to confusion, brows furrowing.
Step. Confusion gives way to understanding, and then rage. Horvath's face contorts in fury, and that cursed blue light presses against the field of static enveloping him.
Step. Horvath stops. His foot plants firm against the floor, and with a wordless snarl, a nova of light erupts from his cane, shattering the spell like glass, the shards of grainy distortion washing away against the carpet floor.
The Redcoat gasps, panting for breath in great exertion. The small compass in his hand shines with slowly dimming power. A distant part of your mind notes that the tessellation keeping you from running has evaporated. The girl, Abigail, chokes suddenly as he jolts upwards, grasping at a now pristine throat.
Horvath vs Redcoat: Discipline
60% CoS 96+ 5-
40+38+10=88
Redcoat Opposed
40% CoS 96+ 5-
74+20+18+10 (Redshift) -15 (Spell Exhaustion)=107
Redcoat Success
The air around the Redcoat begins to ripple and distort, pulling in the dust and smoke in the battlefield as space begins to collapse in on itself. He grimaces, grasping onto his focus with a concentrated effort, and manages to pull himself out of the distortion just before it implodes on nothing, a sharp crack of thunder echoing through your chest.
"She-" The Redcoat chokes. He presses his throat with his left hand, pistol still clenched in his right. "She's just a child, sir."
"As are you, apparently." The archmage snaps, cane flaring.
Balthazar (and most of you, to be frank) are watching in stunned silence as the two remaining Morganians turn on each other.
"Why did I think a sentimental royalist would be of any help at all in accomplishing anything? No, actually, don't answer that, just die instead." Horvath adds, raising his staff. "This entire idea has been a complete waste of-"
Redcoat+Balthazar vs Horvath
95% CoS 91+ 0-
92+90 (Crit reroll)+20 (Redcoat)+39 (Balthazar)+18(Blackbeard's Ghost)+40 (Ratte Tank)=299
Horvath Opposed
5% CoS 100+ 10-
43+38 (Horvath)+10 (Master of the Morganians)=91
Critical Success!
A single bolt of plasma rockets from Balthazar's hand, slamming into Horvath's back. The man staggers, hat tipping askew as he nearly falls to the ground. The Redcoat looks stunned, but that's nothing compared to Balthazar, who is staring at his own fingers as if they'd just sprouted wings.
Then, before you can form an opinion on the proceedings, the Redcoat shoots a bolt of his own.
Horvath's cane springs into his hand, tip raising up and deflecting the bolt, but it's only a moment later that Balthazar sends another. And another. Horvath parries, once, twice, before another bolt from the Redcoat forces him to twist again.
Both Balthazar and the Recoat send shot after shot of white-hot plasma into Horvath, as fast as they can manage to form them. Horvath's brow beads into sweat, cane a whirling blur desperately trying to catch shot after shot. Each goes pinging off, blowing a hole into a wall here, a window there, shattering stained glass and letting spots of moonlight shine through. Finally the Morganian is a moment too slow, and one of the bolts connects, clipping his shoulder and making him grimace.
Balthazar grasps at the opening. Drawing power into his hands, blue light coalesces between his fingers. A moment later the Redcoat follows suit, crimson light blooming in his fingers.
Horvath has just enough time to look up before twin beams of light blast out of their hands, rocketing across the room and impacting Horvath at exactly the same time. They explode on impact, sending bursts of multicolor light scintillating across the room amidst a deafening boom.
Stars and stripes, but it looks exactly like a firework.
It must feel like it too. The explosion lifts Horvath bodily into the air, wards fizzing away under the overwhelming magical burst. In both a second and an eternity he soars before gravity sends him slamming directly into the electronic organ, cracking the instrument in half and sending Horvath tumbling to the ground in a shower of sparks and broken plywood.
A discordant organ noise echoes through the night as Horvath slowly rises to his feet, a hiss of pain escaping as he takes a moment to right himself. His fingers clench around his cane as he raises it high, but it barely has time to glow before a swing from Blackbeard's saber sends it spiraling off into what remains of the pews. Horvath whirls around to find a multi-ton tank waiting behind him, a chorus of screeching, mocking laughter blocking his escape route.
Horvath's expression has shifted rapidly from fury, to concern, to a tight-lipped glare of determination. His eyes shift rapidly between Balthazar, the Redcoat, and the ruined middle of the church, scanning the rubble whenever he can risk a glance away from his opponents. One of his hands goes to his pockets, yanking out a glowing blue phial.
In a fluid motion, the Redcoat draws his pistol and cocks the hammer, a spark blooming from the gun at the same time Horvath frantically raises it to his lips and swallows the contents. He vanishes in a flash of light an instant before a musket ball tears through his location and shatters a window on the opposite wall.
It's only a fraction of a second later that your own bullet passes through the same space. Yours has a safety.
You lower the gun, but don't quite holster it yet. The wind blows gently through the enormous hole the tank smashed into the wall. A few chunks of plaster tumble to the ground. Your motorcycle finally rolls in, slowed by the debris and looking almost baffled.
Balthazar and the Redcoat are staring at each other.
Kitsune gently lowers a shell-shocked Abigail down onto one of the few pews left standing. She looks up, a carefully inscrutable expression on her face. "Are we quite done?"
Blackbeard's Ghost flits about, a few frustrated sword swipes punctuating his words in the place where Horvath vanished. "The blaggard's gone!" he roars.
"Portal potion." Balthazar grumbles. "Expensive, single use, unreliable. One last trick up his sleeve." Balthazar pauses, a flicker of something you don't quite catch passing over his face. "Typical Horvath."
The Redcoat bites his lip, eyes slipping between you before catching Abigail's confused, forlorn gaze. He takes a breath.
"I'll be taking the girl."
Kitsune tilts her head, but she steps back from the pew, moving back to your side. Abigail herself seems entirely lost, but she carefully steps back to her feet, shuffling meekly towards the Redcoat, glancing nervously at Balthazar as she goes.
"So uh… does this mean you're one of those Merlinians now?" Rizzo asks, peeking in (as usual) from the outside of the ruined church.
The Redcoat looks at him for a long moment.
"No."
Balthazar looks at him with his apparently trademarked disapproval. He cocks his head slightly. "Where were those principles when you signed up?"
The Redcoat looks down at Abigail. The girl looks back expectantly, muttering a thank you beneath her breath as Blackbeard hands her back her pendant.
"I think I have better priorities than this conversation right now." The Redcoat says tersely. "May we take our leave?"
"Hmm." Balthazar doesn't-quite-concede. The moment ends, and before long the Redcoat bundles up a still-shivering Abigail. Your gut twists slightly.
"Will Horvath be doing this again?" Balthazar asks brusquely, making the Redcoat pause halfway through his first step.
"He wouldn't attempt such a thing without a fool to perform the ritual for him." The Redcoat answers. "Without my expertise, I doubt he'd ever bother with the risk."
A wry smile wavers on his face. "He mostly wanted to goad you into doing something rash."
Balthazar's face becomes even stonier. He doesn't say any more.
==
With that out of the way…
Well. You can't really call it over yet, can you?
You step forward, making it clear to Balthazar you want to talk. He knows why, but he's still going to ask you.
"Yes?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"I think it's fair to say the threat has receded." You note, even as Bathazar continues the somewhat painstaking work of repairing the Church without drawing any more attention than its destruction already might have. It may end up with different colored alcoves. "Given that, I need to request that you return the government's property."
Balthazar gives you a searching look. "You know you have no guarantee Horvath won't simply try again."
"Yes, we do." You reply immediately. "Chaucer was the one who could perform… whatever ritual they had planned. He's gone."
"It could still end up being used by someone else." Balthazar counters, but there's less fight in it now, and more testing.
"So could a hundred other things. Are you going to steal the Rosetta Stone next?"
"Your magical defenses leave a lot to be desired." Balthazar responds.
You play your trump card. "Fix them then."
Balthazar blinks. "What?"
Diplomacy Check: Do You Do Consultations?
DC 75/100/125
87% CoS 97+ -1
40+16+35+10=101
Success
"Fix them." You say. "If you want to make sure the States have the defense they need to keep Horvath from waltzing in, help them make it."
Balthazar looks… baffled. "I've never been told I have the best customer service."
"You should meet some of our contractors." You reply, beforing giving him just a moment to consider the offer. "You think knowing some people in the government is going to make it harder to do your job?"
He frowns. You try one last shot.
"The world turns. I think it's about time you get on."
There's a long moment of not much as the organ repairs itself.
"I'll let you know my rates."
You smile. And then, despite yourself, feel that smile fading as he reaches into the brim of his absurdly shaped hat… and somehow pulls out the full, unfolded Declaration of Independence.
"It was in your hat?!" You squeeze out, bulging eyes blessedly hidden behind your glasses.
"Pocket dimension." Balthazar replies casually, looking the document over briefly before handing it over. "Handy. You're gonna want that back in a protected case by tomorrow, charms don't last forever."
You struggle to fully parse the fact that you are holding the Declaration of Independence, and Balthazar takes the opportunity to leave. Apparently wizards are capable of more than a binary choice. The master of the Merlinians is finally active again. Horvath is down two Morganians, a rare potion… and a lot of dignity. He also knows your face, even if you ended up more of an accessory than anything.
This went far better than it had any right to.
Even still… It's good to know things can still turn out well, sometimes.
The gigantic metal construct is slowly unwound into a plain white van and several dozen large rats with glowing red eyes. The swarm coalesces into a ball of rodents as the rats crawl over one another before turning to you, in unison. They speak as many, similar hissing, horribly screechy voices.
"WHERE IS OUR PROMISED LAND?" "WHAT IS OUR REWARD?!" "FULFILL YOUR BARGAIN!" "give dumpster"
"A short journey away." Kitsune purrs, leaning back against the altar. "The transport to Danville should not take too long."
"We're bringing them to Danville?" You ask, dubiously.
"Is the good Major not the most qualified of your agents to handle their kind?" Kitsune asks, insouciant.
You think about it for a moment, then shrug. If Doofenshmirtz has a problem with it, he'll say something. At length.
"How are we gonna get the rats to Danville anyway?" Gonzo asks.
"First class, please." Rizzo opines.
"I think I can handle that." Monogram says, stepping confidently forward. A moment later he impacts the glass with a gentle thunk.
Balthazar grunts. "Oh. Right."
"I'll have you know I've transported hundreds of different animals all over the place before! Rats are a piece of cake. If you want a real challenge, try transporting a whale when you're 500 miles inland!"
As you step out of the repaired door and onto the concrete steps before the chapel, there's really only one thing you're thinking about.
What the look on Riddle's face is going to be like…
The sharp joy lasts until you remember the state of your rental.
===
Quest: Magic Missile's Red Glare completed!
The Declaration of Independence has been recovered in one piece, and Horvath's plan is foiled!
Balthazar Blake, Master of the Merlinians, has a neutral opinion about Russ and his team! Their efforts were acceptable but not exemplary, altruistic but with no guarantee of future alignment. He has no opinion about Doofenshmirtz or DEI. Attempt to reach out to the Merlinians unlocked. Attempt to reach out to the Morganians unlocked (Maybe don't send anyone from this quest unless they have a really good disguise).
Russ gains 1 Diplomacy
Russ gains 2 Stewardship
Russ gains 1 Martial
Kitsune gains 1 Diplomacy
Kitsune gains 2 Occult
Kitsune gains 1 Martial
Kermit gains 2 Diplomacy
Monogram gains 2 Intrigue
Monogram gains 3 Occult
With the Declaration in hand (and a government soon to… rejoin you guess), the question it comes down to now is how to go about handing the Declaration back in.
[ ] Send Russ
Perhaps the easiest choice, Russ already has the document and already knows where to go. Coupled with taking credit for your upcoming 'reformation', sending Russ would allow the super spy to meet some movers and shakers on capitol hill, not to mention raise his status in CAIA.
Russ gains significant standing in Paranormal, potentially giving him more opportunities within CAIA. Options to solidify contacts in CAIA will be available when Russ is in a better headspace. Russ will be better able to contest bad actors within the government as and when they threaten him. Work for the Government personal action upgraded.
Your standing with the government will be upgraded (after Rejoin the Government concludes) to Vexing Postvillain. (Upgraded by Gonzo)
Vexing Postvillain
Your recent choice to rejoin the government, coupled with several good turns in their favor, have moved you off the list of actively problematic CEOs and onto the one for merely passively problematic ones. While many in the government still distrust you and you are far from the government's first choice to work with, you have at least signaled you are willing to be worked with. You're starting to catch up on Shego's standing: 'reformed' supervillain, pretty untrustworthy, but definitely too far down the priority list to take action against unless you do something insane.
[ ] Monogram- Monogram is a government agent as well, and proving that missions undertaken under his own remit can have astronomical results could be just the thing he needs to get his department out from undersight and into a more respectable position.
Monogram loses his Lack of Agency trait, ensuring his continual availability. Personal Action for Monogram to Attend Anthropic Affairs unlocked.
Your standing with the government will be upgraded (after Rejoin the Government concludes) to Vexing Postvillain. (Upgraded by Gonzo)
Vexing Postvillain
Your recent choice to rejoin the government, coupled with several good turns in their favor, have mostly moved you off the list of actively problematic CEOs to merely passively problematic ones. While many in the government still distrust you and you are far from the government's first choice to work with, you have at least signaled you are willing to be worked with. You're starting to catch up on Shego's standing: 'reformed' supervillain, passively untrustworthy, but definitely too far down the priority list to take action against unless you do something insane.
[ ] Just Call Somebody
You could just call someone and tell them you found the Declaration and would like it if someone picked it up, please. You won't be screaming about it on the airwaves in an obvious way (like a part of you really, really wants to) or giving it to anyone else, but it'll be obvious to those in the know that you helped out.
Your standing with the government will be upgraded (after Rejoin the Government concludes) to Deranged Hero. (Upgraded by Gonzo)
Deranged Hero
Congratulations on yet again driving someone insane. The government now has no idea what to think of you. The prodigal son is not supposed to come back with his own fatted calf, let alone the golden fleece. There's few ways better to convince someone of your sincerity than by giving them their nation's founding document. While a handful of conspiracists now think you orchestrated the whole thing for clout, the fact remains that this was done for clout. Clout with the government, specifically. It's now impossible to deny you want to play ball, and with the current climate, the government can't really afford to refuse you. Relations with the government are now so confused that they have practically been set back to zero: Yes, you're a supervillain, but you're publicly kissing the ring and privately were the one to find the ring in the first place.
There is a forty-eight hour moratorium on voting.
Horvath is more or less the same as you remember him. Oversized, fur-lined coat, slightly outdated collar, though not easy to notice at first glance. High-brimmed felt hat, and crystal-topped cane brimming with arcane power. Goatee. He steps into your room in the confessional as if the barrier was not there.
Horvath looks down on you with a look that is not annoyance, if only because it expected to be disappointed. Down, both because he does in fact have a few inches on you, and because within a second of his arrival into the room the cane flashes and you feel your body being forced to its knees. You consider fighting it, but don't. You'll need energy for more important things in a moment, and if you're lucky, he's still underestimating you.
"So, you're from the government." He says conversationally, as if he'd just sat down to tea. "I suppose it was inevitable someone would come poking around eventually, after Balthazar's little stunt."
You say nothing, and a moment stretches out until it quickly snaps. Horvath folds his hands differently, and leans down.
"I believe you're supposed to provide a name? Rank? Serial Number?" He asks, voice just short of mocking. You try to project defiance, laced with fear.
"Ah, well." Horvath says, straightening up again. "Now, see, you've put us in a bit of an awkward situation. The easiest thing to do would be to send you off with those unnecessary memories carted away. No need to further antagonize you government sorts. But if you refuse to let us divest you of those… incriminating details, I'm afraid I will have to rip them out of your feebly resisting mind." He shrugs casually. "And who knows what sort of trouble I might cause."
You make sure what little of your posture you can control conveys strained certainty.
"Sending the Americans back a vegetable would not be in my best interest but, if all goes to plan, I will quite shortly not have to deal with the ire of the United States ever again. So, I hope you understand that if I'm to make sure my plans are uninterrupted, I'll need your head empty. One way or the other."
One quick goad.
"What makes you think it's not already too late?" You smile.
Russ Intrigue check: Mind Trap
66% CoS, 94+ 3-
90+38 (Russ)+23 (Monogram)=151
Horvath Opposed
34% CoS, 98+ 7-
65+26 (Horvath)+18 (Abigail)=109
Russ Success
Horvath's false smile fades away, leaving the scowl you'd hoped to see. He bends down to your face, and with a flash of light and a pain behind your eyes he is falling, falling…
Horvath is alone in a long, dark corridor. A strange, stuttering sound fills the air, seeming to emanate from nowhere. The hall is made of polished stone floor and plain manilla walls, stretching on so far its distant ends fade into white haze. The hall is filled with doors.
This is not so different from what Horvath has seen before. He steps forward, approaching one door made of sturdy oak. Not metal. That's important. The metaphor is the meaning, in the mind. Sturdy, but nothing he can't handle.
Horvath's staff flashes, and the lock on one door clicks gently. Horvath peeks inside, a look of slightly bored interest on his face…
Hm 1937, Vzks Chrmdx qdkdzrdc Rmnv Vghsd, bnmrhcdqdc ax lzmx sgd ehqrs sqtd zmhlzsdc lnuhd zr vd tmcdqrszmc sgdl snczx. Bnmrhcdqdc ctqhmf oqnctbshnm sn ad 'Vzks'r Enkkx', sgd-
Raw information bombards Horvath, a memory encapsulated in a single burst of information. All complete gibberish.
"Blast." Horvath mutters. "Of course a spy would encrypt himself. Fine, then, once I have the schema the rest will fall into place…"
And so Horvath sets to work, staff occasionally manipulating the raw information before him in inexplicable ways, setting himself, if only for a few moments, to the task of solving this puzzle.
Completely insensate to the world around him.
===
Outside, a fox slips quietly through the church's hedgerows. Under the moonlight, the stained glass of the building took an inky pallour, shadowing any sight of what may be happening within. Kitsune glances at the darkened glass, feeling the seconds slowly tick down. Strange, how the moments seemed to slow at times like this.
Something glints through the corner of the window. The barest flash of something, perhaps the flicker of a candle from inside, or a stray moonbeam catching at just the right angle. Kitsune closes her eyes and listens carefully. Behind her, under the dull thrum of night, a roar begins to build.
The oak doors of the chapel explode inwards with a crashing of stone as something forces its way through the wall, chunks of stone and wood falling all across the room.
Ratting In
82% CoS, 93+ 2-
72+39 (Balthazar)+23 (Kitsune)+12 (Now You See Me)+40 (Ratte Tank)=176
Blackbeard's Ghost opposed
18% CoS, 99+ 8-
83+36 (Blackbeard's Ghost)+29 (Abigail)+10 (Redcoat)=162
Success
The moonlight from outside is blotted out by a massive mechanical construct that looms in the cloud of dust, rising partway to the arched ceiling. Its surface glimmers wildly under incandescent churchlight, an intricate tessellation of metallic fur and tails, snarling rodent heads imposed on gears between them at precise intervals. Metallic, murine laughter fills the air as mechanical claws in the facsimile of treads scrabble for purchase, heaving its bulk through the opening and further destroying the wall. The heads shift as one and cast dozens of pinpricks of red light onto a clearly surprised Redcoat and Abigail.
There is a brief moment of silence, before the Morganians snaps to action. Blackbeard roars as he ascends up to the peak of the ceiling as the Redcoat shoves a hand into his pocket, pulling Abigail under the cover of the pews even as she tries to clutch at the pentagram around her neck.
Redcoat+Abigail vs Balthazar
21% CoS, 99+ 8-
64+20 (Redcoat)+29 (Abigail)+18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=143
Balthazar opposed
79% CoS, 93+ 2-
22+39 (Balthazar)+23 (Kitsune)+40 (Ratte Tank)=126
Redcoat Success
Blackbeard hollers something piratical as he clenches a fist, debris from the tank's unexpected entrance raising up in a spectral grip. Chunks of stone and splintered pews slowly pick up speed as they rotate in place, before coming down in a cascade onto the construct along with the pirate himself. Blackbeard's saber is extended, glowing with an eerie blue-green light, as it sinks into the front of the tank like a knife going through butter. A chorus of incoherent screams and curses echoes around the room as the debris and knife leave their marks, distorting the fractaled surface with a gigantic gash and an assortment of smaller craters.
The Redcoat, for his part, scrabbles for his focus, hurriedly incanting a barrier in place with one hand as he cocks a flintlock pistol with the other. Beside him, Abigail follows his lead, a red glow building in her eyes-
Kitsune+Balthazar vs Abigail
83% CoS, 93+ 2-
92+39 (Balthazar)+ 23 (Kitsune) +12 (Now You See Me) +40 (Ratte Tank)=206
Abigail Opposed
17% CoS, 99+ 8-
51+29 (Abigail)+20 (Redcoat) +5(Mind Magic) +18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=135
Kitsune Success
Only for a swirl of fur to collide into her, shattering her nascent barrier in a crack of red lightning and throwing her against the church's eastern wall. Striding atop the tweenage witch, Kitsune looms, Talisman clutched in her mouth. Abigail raises a hand towards the fox, only to tremble, eyes going wide as the world flickers around her.
"Abigail!" The Redcoat twists his hand through the air, the air around him closing to a tunnel between him and the nine-tailed beast looming over her. Long practice brings the pistol up, squared on the creature's chest. The distance closes, and there's just enough time for Kitsune to look the Redcoat in the eye before disappearing in a bloom of gunpowder.
Abigail+Redcoat vs Kitsune
24% CoS, 98+ 7-
56+29 (Abigail)+20 (Redcoat) +18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=123
Kitsune Opposed
76% CoS, 94+ 3-
87+39 (Balthazar)+ 23 (Kitsune) +40 (Ratte Tank)=191
Kitsune Success
The ear-splitting explosion echoes sharply through the distorted space as the musket ball twists up and away from the witch, lodging itself deep inside a ceiling beam. The Redcoat strides through the compressed space, yanking Abigail to her feet as a swirl of gunpowder floats itself down the barrel of his sidearm.
Only as a ball of lead clunks into place is he able to spot the fox diving inside the confessional.
===
Hm sgd dzqkhdrs czxr, 'Atfr Atmmx' zmc 'Czeex Ctbj' vdqd mdzqkx hmchrshmfthrgzakd bgzqzbsdqr. Sgd zmshbr ne sgd zqbgdsxohbzk rbqdvazkk zmhlzk vntkc mns etkkx bgzmfd tmshk sgdx zoodzqdc snfdsgdq hm sgd rdlhmzk 1951 Qzaahs Ehqd, sgdhq qnkdr hm sgzs rdptdmbd pthbjkx gzqcdmhmf hmsn sgd qnkdr sgzs vntkc bzszoztks sgdl sn ezld zr sgd kzrs fqdzs rszqr adenqd sgd dmc ne-
The concepts fly around Horvath as he opens doors, finding more and more information to add to his understanding of whatever defenses stand in his way. He raises a finger as a word, [sequence], finally resolves out of the mess. With a grin of triumph, he tosses aside the limited protections facing him.
Fdqshd sgd Chnosaur was one of the first toons to achieve fame. Originally created in 1914 and first famous as a curiosity and vaudeville act, Gertie would later become one of the first Toon stars to step onto the silver screen.
Outrage blooms across Horvath's face. "WHAT-"
The projector shuts off. All around Horvath, metal walls clang down like bulkheads closing. The walls you are lowering will not stop an Archmage. But they will make him very annoyed.
In the real world, Russ winces, stuck still in Horvath's spell. The pain he is experiencing cannot be called unimaginable, because Russ is imagining it. Every effort is being spent on slowing Horvath down without letting him into the bulk of your mind, the places of your hopes, your dreams, the places the man could tear apart upon his way out. The walls crack- every inch of your mental fortitude buckling under a millennium of mystic might.
Twisting back into a humanoid form, Kitsune stalks around the two men, locked in a grave mental contest. To her, the waves of magic are obvious, as is the strain permeating the confessional's air. The slightest disturbance could send the whole affair careening into chaos.
Russ + Kitsune Occult vs Horvath
69% CoS, 94+ 3-
56+19+25+15 (Yang Talisman)=115
Horvath Opposed:
31% CoS 98+ 7-
66+38=104
Glancing at the barrier crackling around Horvath's shoulders, Kitsune lifts a sizable piece of plaster with her tail, and chucks the lot at the archmagister's head. It impacts with a dull thunk, and Horvath grimaces as the pain of solid plaster pulls him out of someone else's thoughts.
You blink, suddenly aware and, at least compared to the other guy, alert. You likely have a matter of seconds before Horvath does recover. The Muppets are peeking around the corner, checking to see if it's time to run yet. Kitsune could get in- you can't get out. The solution is obvious.
"Get us out of here!"
Balthazar: Break Wards
DC 120
85% CoS, 92+ 2-
61+39 (Balthazar)+25 (Kitsune) +40 (Ratte Tank)=165
Success
Balthazar, stepping out from behind the tank, raises his hand in concentration, the ward around the confessional flaring into full visibility. An expression of concentration on his face, Balthazar's fingers twist as one by one the arcane sigils are slowly unwound, until they collapse in a flare of sparks with a sound like shattering glass.
The field is down, you're free to leave, and there's just one thing to do first.
Russ: The Magic Touch
74% CoS 94+ 3-
69+14 (Russ)+23 (Kitsune)= 106
Horvath Opposed Martial
26% CoS 98+ 7-
21+10 (Spell Shock disrupts Phenomenal Cosmic Power)=31
Russ Success
You take advantage of the second that you have and catch Horvath with a solid right hook to the jaw. Unprepared, he cannot react in time and stumbles backwards, tripping over a piece of debris.
"You should have aimed lower." Kitsune notes.
"Live first, banter later." You reply. You still smirk, though, even as you rush out of the room and grab your effects.
You press the fob, and suddenly your ride is on the way.
"Quick, get moving!" you hear Monogram's distorted reflection yell at the Muppets. "Straight out the door!" A second's pause. "-through the gaping hole, go right!"
Redcoat: Deploy Space Barrier
DC 135
37% CoS, 97+ 6-
80+32 (Redcoat)+29 (Abigail)+10 (Redshift)=151
Redcoat Success
Horvath groans as he begins to push himself to his feet, the Muppets clambering around his prone form. As soon as you can confirm they're all out of the confessional, you run off towards the gaping hole in the wall. A few seconds of getting nowhere is all it takes for you to realize that you've seen this trick before.
Out of the corner of your eye, you see a blood-red glow building. You twist to the side in anticipation, just in time to see Kitsune raising the Yang talisman towards Abigail.
Kitsune attacks Abigail
76% CoS, 93+ 2-
83+39 (Balthazar)+ 23 (Kitsune) +12 (Now You See Me) +40 (Ratte Tank)=197
Abigail Opposed
24% CoS, 99+ 8-
76+29 (Abigail)+20 (Redcoat) +5(Mind Magic) +18 (Blackbeard's Ghost)=160
Kitsune Success
The blast of plasma goes wide as Abigail flinches, splashing harmlessly off a pane of stained glass. You catch only the edges of something, like the frame of an empty window. No amount of mind training will let you see magic, but you can see the cast-offs from what Kitsune is doing; little wisps of smoke and phantom sensations meant for Abigail, that in some indescribable way trail off in a direction that you don't have words for.
What matters is the effect.
Abigail stares off into the middle distance, eyes darting between targets that are not there. She tries to hide the emotion but you can see panic beginning to set in, the way she shrinks back, her breaths quickening.
Kitsune closes the distance far quicker than she should have, a seemingly casual stride bringing her close enough to press the talisman into Abigail's forehead. The Morganian goes slack with a spark of red light, slumping back against the cushioning of the Kitsune's tails. Carefully, Kitsune lowers the girl to the ground, plucking the pentacle from her hands. She examines it for a moment, spinning the pendant on the tip of her finger, before letting it clatter to the ground.
Only to turn face to face with Maxim Horvath.
Horvath takes in his fallen subordinate as he circles the battlefield warily. His eyes flick to where Balthazar is still grounding the remains of the ward before looking up to consider Kitsune carefully.
"You're not exactly what I expected the country to send. Some sort of… hybrid? No, half-children of the faeries are typically less… obvious. Some descendant then? A thinning of the blood?"
He takes step by careful step, coming closer and forcing Kitsune to maintain distance. She circles around the pews, carefully matching each step, eyes flicking towards the sickly blue glow at the tip of the archmage's cane.
Horvath comes to a stop next to Abigail as Balthazar grounds the last of the ward. He keeps an eye on Horvath, but before he can resume their duel Blackbeard breaks off from your mechanical monstrosity to worry the wizard with saber held high.
The tank in turn focuses on the Redcoat, attempting to cross the distance between them and grind him under its claws. The mechanical beast heaves through the air, obviously putting on speed even as it bulges through the intervening space at the speed of molasses. The Redcoat flings himself to the side, barely skipping out of range as the rat tank explodes into a flurry of motion, dozens of screaming rat heads cursing in unison as it blasts past its target into the opposite wall.
On the ground, Abigail stirs. "...M …Master Horvath?"
Horvath crouches down slightly, favoring Abigail with a resigned air. "Still alive, Abigail? I'm afraid you've failed."
"I'm… sorry." She replies, weakly, struggling to pull herself up.
"Yes, well, you should be." he replies coolly, before tapping the tip of his cane gently against her neck.
A sound like a shriek does not have time to begin before it is torn out of Abigail's throat. Your head whips around, almost involuntarily, focusing on what had previously been an unimportant backdrop to your escape. In an instant pulsing blue tendrils throb out of her neck, sickly color spreading from the point of contact. Horvath watches dispassionately, apparently not even winded.
Parasite
DC 79
70% CoS 94+ 3-
4+38+10=52
Nearly Critical Failure
"At least I'll still get some use out of your en-"
All at once, the sickly glow stops. The tank careens through another portion of the wall, suddenly moving much faster than it was expecting. The tendrils of light drawing from Abigail begin to move back into Horvath's cane, at first by inches and then in a single smooth motion, like water drawn into a pipette. Colors distort in front of you as Horvath seems to move backwards, withdrawing his cane from her neck as he stands up and takes a step back, each of his motions trailing an ethereal sand.
Step. Horvath's face goes from a calculating impassiveness to confusion, brows furrowing.
Step. Confusion gives way to understanding, and then rage. Horvath's face contorts in fury, and that cursed blue light presses against the field of static enveloping him.
Step. Horvath stops. His foot plants firm against the floor, and with a wordless snarl, a nova of light erupts from his cane, shattering the spell like glass, the shards of grainy distortion washing away against the carpet floor.
The Redcoat gasps, panting for breath in great exertion. The small compass in his hand shines with slowly dimming power. A distant part of your mind notes that the tessellation keeping you from running has evaporated. The girl, Abigail, chokes suddenly as he jolts upwards, grasping at a now pristine throat.
Horvath vs Redcoat: Discipline
60% CoS 96+ 5-
40+38+10=88
Redcoat Opposed
40% CoS 96+ 5-
74+20+18+10 (Redshift) -15 (Spell Exhaustion)=107
Redcoat Success
The air around the Redcoat begins to ripple and distort, pulling in the dust and smoke in the battlefield as space begins to collapse in on itself. He grimaces, grasping onto his focus with a concentrated effort, and manages to pull himself out of the distortion just before it implodes on nothing, a sharp crack of thunder echoing through your chest.
"She-" The Redcoat chokes. He presses his throat with his left hand, pistol still clenched in his right. "She's just a child, sir."
"As are you, apparently." The archmage snaps, cane flaring.
Balthazar (and most of you, to be frank) are watching in stunned silence as the two remaining Morganians turn on each other.
"Why did I think a sentimental royalist would be of any help at all in accomplishing anything? No, actually, don't answer that, just die instead." Horvath adds, raising his staff. "This entire idea has been a complete waste of-"
Redcoat+Balthazar vs Horvath
95% CoS 91+ 0-
92+90 (Crit reroll)+20 (Redcoat)+39 (Balthazar)+18(Blackbeard's Ghost)+40 (Ratte Tank)=299
Horvath Opposed
5% CoS 100+ 10-
43+38 (Horvath)+10 (Master of the Morganians)=91
Critical Success!
A single bolt of plasma rockets from Balthazar's hand, slamming into Horvath's back. The man staggers, hat tipping askew as he nearly falls to the ground. The Redcoat looks stunned, but that's nothing compared to Balthazar, who is staring at his own fingers as if they'd just sprouted wings.
Then, before you can form an opinion on the proceedings, the Redcoat shoots a bolt of his own.
Horvath's cane springs into his hand, tip raising up and deflecting the bolt, but it's only a moment later that Balthazar sends another. And another. Horvath parries, once, twice, before another bolt from the Redcoat forces him to twist again.
Both Balthazar and the Recoat send shot after shot of white-hot plasma into Horvath, as fast as they can manage to form them. Horvath's brow beads into sweat, cane a whirling blur desperately trying to catch shot after shot. Each goes pinging off, blowing a hole into a wall here, a window there, shattering stained glass and letting spots of moonlight shine through. Finally the Morganian is a moment too slow, and one of the bolts connects, clipping his shoulder and making him grimace.
Balthazar grasps at the opening. Drawing power into his hands, blue light coalesces between his fingers. A moment later the Redcoat follows suit, crimson light blooming in his fingers.
Horvath has just enough time to look up before twin beams of light blast out of their hands, rocketing across the room and impacting Horvath at exactly the same time. They explode on impact, sending bursts of multicolor light scintillating across the room amidst a deafening boom.
Stars and stripes, but it looks exactly like a firework.
It must feel like it too. The explosion lifts Horvath bodily into the air, wards fizzing away under the overwhelming magical burst. In both a second and an eternity he soars before gravity sends him slamming directly into the electronic organ, cracking the instrument in half and sending Horvath tumbling to the ground in a shower of sparks and broken plywood.
A discordant organ noise echoes through the night as Horvath slowly rises to his feet, a hiss of pain escaping as he takes a moment to right himself. His fingers clench around his cane as he raises it high, but it barely has time to glow before a swing from Blackbeard's saber sends it spiraling off into what remains of the pews. Horvath whirls around to find a multi-ton tank waiting behind him, a chorus of screeching, mocking laughter blocking his escape route.
Horvath's expression has shifted rapidly from fury, to concern, to a tight-lipped glare of determination. His eyes shift rapidly between Balthazar, the Redcoat, and the ruined middle of the church, scanning the rubble whenever he can risk a glance away from his opponents. One of his hands goes to his pockets, yanking out a glowing blue phial.
In a fluid motion, the Redcoat draws his pistol and cocks the hammer, a spark blooming from the gun at the same time Horvath frantically raises it to his lips and swallows the contents. He vanishes in a flash of light an instant before a musket ball tears through his location and shatters a window on the opposite wall.
It's only a fraction of a second later that your own bullet passes through the same space. Yours has a safety.
You lower the gun, but don't quite holster it yet. The wind blows gently through the enormous hole the tank smashed into the wall. A few chunks of plaster tumble to the ground. Your motorcycle finally rolls in, slowed by the debris and looking almost baffled.
Balthazar and the Redcoat are staring at each other.
Kitsune gently lowers a shell-shocked Abigail down onto one of the few pews left standing. She looks up, a carefully inscrutable expression on her face. "Are we quite done?"
Blackbeard's Ghost flits about, a few frustrated sword swipes punctuating his words in the place where Horvath vanished. "The blaggard's gone!" he roars.
"Portal potion." Balthazar grumbles. "Expensive, single use, unreliable. One last trick up his sleeve." Balthazar pauses, a flicker of something you don't quite catch passing over his face. "Typical Horvath."
The Redcoat bites his lip, eyes slipping between you before catching Abigail's confused, forlorn gaze. He takes a breath.
"I'll be taking the girl."
Kitsune tilts her head, but she steps back from the pew, moving back to your side. Abigail herself seems entirely lost, but she carefully steps back to her feet, shuffling meekly towards the Redcoat, glancing nervously at Balthazar as she goes.
"So uh… does this mean you're one of those Merlinians now?" Rizzo asks, peeking in (as usual) from the outside of the ruined church.
The Redcoat looks at him for a long moment.
"No."
Balthazar looks at him with his apparently trademarked disapproval. He cocks his head slightly. "Where were those principles when you signed up?"
The Redcoat looks down at Abigail. The girl looks back expectantly, muttering a thank you beneath her breath as Blackbeard hands her back her pendant.
"I think I have better priorities than this conversation right now." The Redcoat says tersely. "May we take our leave?"
"Hmm." Balthazar doesn't-quite-concede. The moment ends, and before long the Redcoat bundles up a still-shivering Abigail. Your gut twists slightly.
"Will Horvath be doing this again?" Balthazar asks brusquely, making the Redcoat pause halfway through his first step.
"He wouldn't attempt such a thing without a fool to perform the ritual for him." The Redcoat answers. "Without my expertise, I doubt he'd ever bother with the risk."
A wry smile wavers on his face. "He mostly wanted to goad you into doing something rash."
Balthazar's face becomes even stonier. He doesn't say any more.
==
With that out of the way…
Well. You can't really call it over yet, can you?
You step forward, making it clear to Balthazar you want to talk. He knows why, but he's still going to ask you.
"Yes?" He asks, raising an eyebrow.
"I think it's fair to say the threat has receded." You note, even as Bathazar continues the somewhat painstaking work of repairing the Church without drawing any more attention than its destruction already might have. It may end up with different colored alcoves. "Given that, I need to request that you return the government's property."
Balthazar gives you a searching look. "You know you have no guarantee Horvath won't simply try again."
"Yes, we do." You reply immediately. "Chaucer was the one who could perform… whatever ritual they had planned. He's gone."
"It could still end up being used by someone else." Balthazar counters, but there's less fight in it now, and more testing.
"So could a hundred other things. Are you going to steal the Rosetta Stone next?"
"Your magical defenses leave a lot to be desired." Balthazar responds.
You play your trump card. "Fix them then."
Balthazar blinks. "What?"
Diplomacy Check: Do You Do Consultations?
DC 75/100/125
87% CoS 97+ -1
40+16+35+10=101
Success
"Fix them." You say. "If you want to make sure the States have the defense they need to keep Horvath from waltzing in, help them make it."
Balthazar looks… baffled. "I've never been told I have the best customer service."
"You should meet some of our contractors." You reply, beforing giving him just a moment to consider the offer. "You think knowing some people in the government is going to make it harder to do your job?"
He frowns. You try one last shot.
"The world turns. I think it's about time you get on."
There's a long moment of not much as the organ repairs itself.
"I'll let you know my rates."
You smile. And then, despite yourself, feel that smile fading as he reaches into the brim of his absurdly shaped hat… and somehow pulls out the full, unfolded Declaration of Independence.
"It was in your hat?!" You squeeze out, bulging eyes blessedly hidden behind your glasses.
"Pocket dimension." Balthazar replies casually, looking the document over briefly before handing it over. "Handy. You're gonna want that back in a protected case by tomorrow, charms don't last forever."
You struggle to fully parse the fact that you are holding the Declaration of Independence, and Balthazar takes the opportunity to leave. Apparently wizards are capable of more than a binary choice. The master of the Merlinians is finally active again. Horvath is down two Morganians, a rare potion… and a lot of dignity. He also knows your face, even if you ended up more of an accessory than anything.
This went far better than it had any right to.
Even still… It's good to know things can still turn out well, sometimes.
The gigantic metal construct is slowly unwound into a plain white van and several dozen large rats with glowing red eyes. The swarm coalesces into a ball of rodents as the rats crawl over one another before turning to you, in unison. They speak as many, similar hissing, horribly screechy voices.
"WHERE IS OUR PROMISED LAND?" "WHAT IS OUR REWARD?!" "FULFILL YOUR BARGAIN!" "give dumpster"
"A short journey away." Kitsune purrs, leaning back against the altar. "The transport to Danville should not take too long."
"We're bringing them to Danville?" You ask, dubiously.
"Is the good Major not the most qualified of your agents to handle their kind?" Kitsune asks, insouciant.
You think about it for a moment, then shrug. If Doofenshmirtz has a problem with it, he'll say something. At length.
"How are we gonna get the rats to Danville anyway?" Gonzo asks.
"First class, please." Rizzo opines.
"I think I can handle that." Monogram says, stepping confidently forward. A moment later he impacts the glass with a gentle thunk.
Balthazar grunts. "Oh. Right."
"I'll have you know I've transported hundreds of different animals all over the place before! Rats are a piece of cake. If you want a real challenge, try transporting a whale when you're 500 miles inland!"
As you step out of the repaired door and onto the concrete steps before the chapel, there's really only one thing you're thinking about.
What the look on Riddle's face is going to be like…
The sharp joy lasts until you remember the state of your rental.
===
Quest: Magic Missile's Red Glare completed!
The Declaration of Independence has been recovered in one piece, and Horvath's plan is foiled!
Balthazar Blake, Master of the Merlinians, has a neutral opinion about Russ and his team! Their efforts were acceptable but not exemplary, altruistic but with no guarantee of future alignment. He has no opinion about Doofenshmirtz or DEI. Attempt to reach out to the Merlinians unlocked. Attempt to reach out to the Morganians unlocked (Maybe don't send anyone from this quest unless they have a really good disguise).
Russ gains 1 Diplomacy
Russ gains 2 Stewardship
Russ gains 1 Martial
Kitsune gains 1 Diplomacy
Kitsune gains 2 Occult
Kitsune gains 1 Martial
Kermit gains 2 Diplomacy
Monogram gains 2 Intrigue
Monogram gains 3 Occult
With the Declaration in hand (and a government soon to… rejoin you guess), the question it comes down to now is how to go about handing the Declaration back in.
[ ] Send Russ
Perhaps the easiest choice, Russ already has the document and already knows where to go. Coupled with taking credit for your upcoming 'reformation', sending Russ would allow the super spy to meet some movers and shakers on capitol hill, not to mention raise his status in CAIA.
Russ gains significant standing in Paranormal, potentially giving him more opportunities within CAIA. Options to solidify contacts in CAIA will be available when Russ is in a better headspace. Russ will be better able to contest bad actors within the government as and when they threaten him. Work for the Government personal action upgraded.
Your standing with the government will be upgraded (after Rejoin the Government concludes) to Vexing Postvillain. (Upgraded by Gonzo)
Vexing Postvillain
Your recent choice to rejoin the government, coupled with several good turns in their favor, have moved you off the list of actively problematic CEOs and onto the one for merely passively problematic ones. While many in the government still distrust you and you are far from the government's first choice to work with, you have at least signaled you are willing to be worked with. You're starting to catch up on Shego's standing: 'reformed' supervillain, pretty untrustworthy, but definitely too far down the priority list to take action against unless you do something insane.
[ ] Monogram- Monogram is a government agent as well, and proving that missions undertaken under his own remit can have astronomical results could be just the thing he needs to get his department out from undersight and into a more respectable position.
Monogram loses his Lack of Agency trait, ensuring his continual availability. Personal Action for Monogram to Attend Anthropic Affairs unlocked.
Your standing with the government will be upgraded (after Rejoin the Government concludes) to Vexing Postvillain. (Upgraded by Gonzo)
Vexing Postvillain
Your recent choice to rejoin the government, coupled with several good turns in their favor, have mostly moved you off the list of actively problematic CEOs to merely passively problematic ones. While many in the government still distrust you and you are far from the government's first choice to work with, you have at least signaled you are willing to be worked with. You're starting to catch up on Shego's standing: 'reformed' supervillain, passively untrustworthy, but definitely too far down the priority list to take action against unless you do something insane.
[ ] Just Call Somebody
You could just call someone and tell them you found the Declaration and would like it if someone picked it up, please. You won't be screaming about it on the airwaves in an obvious way (like a part of you really, really wants to) or giving it to anyone else, but it'll be obvious to those in the know that you helped out.
Your standing with the government will be upgraded (after Rejoin the Government concludes) to Deranged Hero. (Upgraded by Gonzo)
Deranged Hero
Congratulations on yet again driving someone insane. The government now has no idea what to think of you. The prodigal son is not supposed to come back with his own fatted calf, let alone the golden fleece. There's few ways better to convince someone of your sincerity than by giving them their nation's founding document. While a handful of conspiracists now think you orchestrated the whole thing for clout, the fact remains that this was done for clout. Clout with the government, specifically. It's now impossible to deny you want to play ball, and with the current climate, the government can't really afford to refuse you. Relations with the government are now so confused that they have practically been set back to zero: Yes, you're a supervillain, but you're publicly kissing the ring and privately were the one to find the ring in the first place.
There is a forty-eight hour moratorium on voting.
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Kaboomatic
Where the Wild Things Are
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Well, that was a fun Sorcerer's Apprentice movie. Had the classic Disney ending and everything.
Personally, the Monogram lover in me wants to pick his option, but Russ makes much more sense in terms of character arcs.
Personally, the Monogram lover in me wants to pick his option, but Russ makes much more sense in terms of character arcs.
- Location
- USA
Very nice and thematic finale both in universe and out of universe, due to the quest both beginning and ending in July.
I'm definitely leaning for the Monogram option. Giving him more opportunities to grow especially as he becomes a national hero, and uplifting an entire agency's worth of resources to national importance.
I'm definitely leaning for the Monogram option. Giving him more opportunities to grow especially as he becomes a national hero, and uplifting an entire agency's worth of resources to national importance.
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Oh, baby! HECK YEAH! That was AWESOME! Russ, you've done it again! Now...Please don't die in the near future. PLEASE. Now, as to what to do in future...Hm. All three options have a lot of benefits and drawbacks, but i'm partial to sending Russ. I LOVE Monogram, and becoming a Deranged Hero sounds just HILARIOUS, but Russ being the one to return it just makes sense I think, and gives him a great avenue for recovery from his TRAUMA CONGA LINE that has been the last few turns.
Shout out to Kermit for now being our best Diplo hero.
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HMmm... I have a write in idea for the recruit Wizard action to get the 3 Rogue Morganians.
Hm...Indivually, or as a heroball? Either way, sounds fun.
Probs Ball? I mostly want them since I like em and I feel Horvathh will try hunting them down.