- Pronouns
- She/Her
Kitsune wasn't necessarily a success as an employee. Just as a person/friend, is my suspicion.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Re-enabling the World tour is worth a lot more than merely a DC reduction.
- Location
- In a void
I wondered why I was quoted. Still 185 on a personal, never seen that high before
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Yes, sorry. This might not have been clear because I changed tracks midway through the conversation: What that post was talking about was strip-mining unhospitable worlds of their mineral resources, particularly rare earth metals, for profit.
Terraforming for agricultural purposes is cool, but probably a late-game objective, while doing strip-mining operations on a desolate world should be cheaper than doing it on Earth, and at 100% less of the carbon footprint.
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- Pronouns
- He/him
Oh so that's what the nameless dread was about! Alan doing something productive.. that's downright unnatural!
Well, I now feel free to rejoice at Kitsune getting a 185 on a personal! And at the Owl House reference! You go, Kitsune! Reach out! ..Or.. no, wait, I think Doof might be the one reaching out?
Either way, we got some good stuff accomplished this turn, and I can't wait for the interludes.
..Also, you know this?
What does it mean? I can't recall off the top of my head when Kitsune said anything important to us.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's fundamentally a problem of letting the person into your head. Hmm. You know what. When I hit a character who is really hard to get into, I make a cheat sheet for them. Maybe the following will help.
Ara's Don Karnage Reference Sheet
Karnage is quite self-absorbed and spends a good bit of time speaking highly of himself. He is easily the most competent of the air pirates, although that's not much of an achievement
Extremely egotistical, constantly upselling himself
Clever, but easy to anger and distract, will take opportunities to showboat even if it puts him at a disadvantage
Rarely takes his own actions seriously
Automatically responds to compliments and good manners in kind without thinking
Deliberately plays up the dashing pirate angle
Still ruthless, but has a code of honor, fights 'equally' if not fairly, and honors parley
Treats subordinates poorly, foes harshly, but shows respect to those who stand up to him without actively threatening his ego or interests
'Oh riiiight, the secret weapon! oh son of gun I was having so much fun with the torture I almost forget.'
Pet Peeves: Having his name mispronounced, being called crazy, his crew calling themselves "robbers" instead of pirates, being interrupted while writing in his diary, being woken up by singing pirates,
'Don Karrrnage, roll the R!'
Sounds like Ricky Ricardo
Vaguely Spanish with a dash of French but a nonsensical mess of accents and malpropisms.- if you can't figure out how he'd talk, make something up. Use French and Spanish words at random, or just nonsense words that sound French or Spanish
'Greetings, X-type person'
'Greetings and salivations' 'what blows up must go down' etc.
'I am sorry to interrupture the conversation' 'this is how you say, a small gherkin' 'son of a mother's uncle!'
Often uses odd word choice that implies English is not his first language
'burn them to itty bitty ashes' 'let the good times begin the spinning'
Frequently uses own name and title 'It is I, Dread Pirate Don Karnage', etc
On the rare occasion he actually uses a phrase right, he pronounces it totally wrong, i.e. "Smahlll pohtaytohs'
Often openly states own emotions 'oh you make me madder than a Suzette breakfast' 'I have not been so happy since I plundered Banana's Republic'
CURSES AND MORE CURSES
When in doubt, take a walking tour of Southern Europe
Lastly, don't oversell it. He's quirky, but not every sentence out of his mouth is ridiculous.
- Location
- Germany
...now that you jinxed it, we´ll probably have to deal with a Crisis hitting Sycorax and Mez getting swept up in trying to survive without any DEI backup as to not blow her cover immediately...
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
At the end of Twelth Night, Janna asks Kitsune why she's so scared of Puck, to which she answers "Because he killed me"
I was bored so I did some Averages.
Our Average for Nationals was 44.846 (35, 51, 29, 71, 14, 75, 9, 87, 45, 24, 14, 69, 60); though it might feel lower since only Celena the Shy and Dress Code were the only 2 non-guarantees to roll above 50.
Janus and Tobe didn't roll on their personals this turn
Our Average for Personals was 53.313 not counting the Inator, which brings it down to 51
Our total Turn Average was 48.333
Our Average for Nationals was 44.846 (35, 51, 29, 71, 14, 75, 9, 87, 45, 24, 14, 69, 60); though it might feel lower since only Celena the Shy and Dress Code were the only 2 non-guarantees to roll above 50.
Janus and Tobe didn't roll on their personals this turn
Our Average for Personals was 53.313 not counting the Inator, which brings it down to 51
Our total Turn Average was 48.333
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- Pronouns
- She/Her
Wile E. did, he got a 63 or something.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Also, for some clarification on this, will our Infiltration with Mez of Sycorax increase to Tier 2 at the beginning of next turn, before the action vote, or at the end, when we're done with all our other actions.
Or, more practically speaking, do we get to use T2 infiltration next turn, or turn after next?
@Arathnorn
I remembered to put Wile into the thing, just added him to guys who didn't get a roll for some reason
- Location
- USA
@Arathnorn
I have a couple questions about sub-votes to see if we can some more clarification on them, so people feel more comfortable/confident doing them when they feel it is warranted:
If for example we had noticed Wiley acting suspicious in time and say, added a sub-vote to Mez's action to look for moles with something like "keep an eye on Wiley" or something like that, how would/could that have modified the action? Gave us a slight bonus/DC reduction for having a lead, or maybe it would have changed the outcome a bit without affecting the roll itself? And of course, a penalty if our sub-vote was wrong or misguided.
I have a couple questions about sub-votes to see if we can some more clarification on them, so people feel more comfortable/confident doing them when they feel it is warranted:
If for example we had noticed Wiley acting suspicious in time and say, added a sub-vote to Mez's action to look for moles with something like "keep an eye on Wiley" or something like that, how would/could that have modified the action? Gave us a slight bonus/DC reduction for having a lead, or maybe it would have changed the outcome a bit without affecting the roll itself? And of course, a penalty if our sub-vote was wrong or misguided.
- Location
- USA
It's funny and all but I don't think Malf has anything to worry about. He's actually better as a councilor than as a hero unit with his maluses. Until he gets rid of them somehow his position is pretty secure.
...not sure how he CAN get rid of them with watching that TV show as his only personal but, oh well.
...not sure how he CAN get rid of them with watching that TV show as his only personal but, oh well.
To be fair, if C's base stat is 40 or over (which, from her card, seems likely), she would effectively nulify Malf's malus anyway.
No she wouldn't, since then Malf doesn't get a bonus from council, or if he does its far reduced.
EDIT: Also Malf is designed solely to be a councilor, and I doubt anything will change with that. Massive Occult, but a trait that makes it less useful on nationals. Another trait that makes it so he can not quest (Celena also is likely to get this), and no personals that actually do anything (Celena will at least likely have one for Divining the Future).
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- Location
- USA
Better to have a decent councilor and a amazing hero than a amazing councilor and decent hero.
We did the math on it more or less. The councilor contributing half the relevant stat means using your best units ends up being a net loss most of the time vs giving your best heros a slightly lesser boost from a not quite as good council member.
Malf is a exception since his maluses severely hamper him as a hero but don't have a effect as a councilor. So even though he has the best stats in Occult there isn't a real loss by halving the stat unlike, say, Khan.
We did the math on it more or less. The councilor contributing half the relevant stat means using your best units ends up being a net loss most of the time vs giving your best heros a slightly lesser boost from a not quite as good council member.
Malf is a exception since his maluses severely hamper him as a hero but don't have a effect as a councilor. So even though he has the best stats in Occult there isn't a real loss by halving the stat unlike, say, Khan.
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- Location
- USA
Adding to this, with Genghis Khan's atomic genes trait, if we did unlock the 2nd martial action, we could assign him as the hero unit for both martial actions and provide a solid bonus to both actions.
Right now he provides +66 to one action (55 martial + 11 loyalty) but with atomic genes he will provide +47 to both, (55/3*2 + 11)
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It also depends on the councilor traits though, such as Jumba's extra +15 to genetics actions and "will frequently bring you ideas for new and terrible creations" So it's not quite as one to one as "put the person with second best stats on the council"
Thats to balance the fact its Jumba, not the he is the second highest learning unit (our highest is on council)
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Thanks for completely missing the point of the statement (That the specific councilor trait is just as important as the councilor's stat)
It was a joke
Ludivine has the seat because she has omnidiscplinary and the 6 trait. I just wanted to joke how terrible an idea jumba is on council.
- Location
- USA
Absolutely.
Ludivine being the best example of that with her omni-disciplinary helping learning a ton even if it means losing some potential learning stat bonuses here or there.
Plus we need to take their personalities into account.
Lots of different factors to consider.
Just pointing out Malf is in a rather unique position and not really in danger of being replaced.
Janna's 766th Day on the Job
AProcrastinator
You can Certainly Try
- Location
- Getting Somewhere
- Pronouns
- She/Hers
Janna's 766th Day on the Job
Despite the magic, in spite of the demons, even considering the spear and the crown – you've never really considered yourself an especially religious person.
But lately, you've been coming around on the idea of karma.
Your name is Mirage.
(Well. It isn't. But we can pretend.)
You are a member of the Board of Directors at one of the most powerful corporations on the planet – Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated. Despite the, ah, evocative name, it is one of the kinder megacorps which this world knows, with more-than-proper pay, copious vacation time, diversity and inclusion initiatives, and - lest we forget – a dogged insistence on saving every lost soul and sob story that happens to trigger its jingle.
As that jingle happens to play in several hundred places across the entire Tri-State Area, it's a lot of saving people that you have to juggle.
It's a set of values you are familiar enough with, if only from the other side of the aisle - more on that in a moment. After all, what could be more "superhero story" than a good old-fashioned secret identity? Kindness, in disguise as monolithic, megacorporate evil. It's an admirable thing (if a tad time-consuming) to listen, to understand, to react appropriately... and you dare say you've adjusted to the company culture well enough.
But even at a company like this one, you've had to make compromises to reach the top. Perhaps not while directly working for DEI, not truly, but you were hired on to work for Dr. Doofenschmirtz due to your copious amounts of experience in… shall we say, the less-than-gray side of the law.
And you only obtained that experience by being willing to go above and beyond, when it comes to sinking real low.
You have a lot of red in your ledger.
And that has come back to bite you, in recent months. You could believe this to be coincidence, rather than cosmic design, had the past caught up to you in full force – or even if you had managed to slip free from the blacker parts of your history entirely.
Instead, however, you found the blow – which you deserved – blunted. As though the judge handing down the sentence was instead signing a stay of execution. One brought about, say, by evidence of good works, and changed heart. Evidence such as, oh... the good things which the company you work for was doing for the people it holds power over?
...you find yourself very appreciative of karma, lately.
So. While you can't say you're out of the game entirely, you can say that you're at least trying to choose your targets better, here at DEI. And certainly less self-servingly. Gone are the days in which you plant bugs and aim cameras, plan murders and crash markets. You are a changed woman, and the espionage world simply has to -
- is that Heinz and Janna arguing, on the other side of that door you just passed by?
It is! You think. They're muffled; DEI soundproofing isn't quite the best in the biz, even if it was when the old place was built. But it has that peculiar quality of muffled arguing, that sort of… ginger taste, behind the words. Just a hint of a strange citrus spice.
...
...no. No, Mirage. You shouldn't. You can't. That would be wrong of you. Even if they are arguing. Even if they usually get along like a house on fire (Heinz is the house and Janna's the fire). Even if she secretly hangs her hat on every word he says and the Doctor has completely failed to notice. Heck, even if they are arguing it's…
Heinz made you something the other day. Some kind of -inator, as he calls these things. A little miracle, held in the palm of your hand. It's fairly mundane as these things go, just… makes it easier to hear things. On the other sides of walls, for example. He handed it to you and said it was "For all your hard work!" and implicitly trusted you with it.
You have it in your pocket, right now.
...maybe just a quick listen in. Just to make sure that everything's okay. That would be what a good person would -
No. No, no, no, no. None of your business! None whatsoever. No, what is your business is: DEI is your business. You are a responsible, rational woman who follows the laws of karma, now. And even should the universe itself not balance its scales (like it should), you've made a vow. You're going to be better than you were. You're not going to be… to be sneaky anymore. Not without proper cause.
So you're not going to listen in. You're going to lift your head up high, clutch your folders close, walk away, and pretend you never heard -
"YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!"
You are kneeling next to the door, taking the device from your pocket and activating it, before you can even breathe.
"Don't you take that tone of voice with me, young lady!"
"No, I mean -" Janna groans, and you bite your lip, looking frantically around to make sure you aren't stumbled in on. It would be terrible if someone else eavesdropped. On, er, your eavesdropping. "I mean, and I can't believe that my life is an episode of reality TV, that you are literally not the father, dude!"
"I know that!" Heinz sounds… about a 6 on the affronted scale? It's an in-joke among you higher-ups that became tragically less tongue-in-cheek as time went on. "I don't think you are my daughter! I think you could be my daughter!"
"I – it's – you -" Another groan. Land speed record. "This is a nightmare. This is like when you called your teacher 'mom' in high school. But backwards. And still the worst. How the heck is this real life?!"
"Now, hold on, just because I want you to write your name on this piece of paper doesn't mean I'm gonna give you a test! Sheesh!" Heinz, as per usual, interprets things in the most… incredible way possible. "These are just adoption papers! Heck, you don't even have to sign your whole name, look, just – initial right heeeeere aaaaaand -"
"What. Makes you think." We all wonder that. "That I want to be your daughter?!" That too.
"You're the one who brought it up!"
"Yeah! To mess with you and Moseby! As a joke. I didn't think you'd actually latch onto it!"
"I don't latch! I glue myself. With superglue! Like you could, to my family tree!"
Like you're sort of superglued now, heh. Well, that takes care of any lingering guilt, at least. You don't think you could pull yourself away from this if you tried.
...yep. All the lingering guilt. All gone. Totally ameliorated.
Mmmm-hmmm.
"D," you've never actually heard Janna sound panicked before, "I don't. Want to be. Drusselstenien. Even by adoption!"
"Alright, fair, that's a very major downside," So it's good to hear Heinz hasn't gone completely off his rocker, "But think of all the father-daughter bonding activities we could do together! I could help you with your science fair projects -"
"I just sabotaged the other kids' stuff, y'know."
" - could be your first dance at senior prom - "
"Already happened. That is not an invitation to time-travel."
"And we could even go shopping for dresses for your quinceañera!
"What age do you think I am?! What ethnicity do you think I am?!"
"Wait, is that not a thing all the kids in America do?"
"Okay, look." Janna takes in… you'd call it a "bracing" breath. "I hate actually saying this out loud, because my childhood got brutally stolen from me I dropped out of high school I have issues trusting adults and other authorities blah blah blah blah blah, but I am a grown woman. Who has parents who love her. Who I am video chatting with. Right now."
"Hello, Mr. Doofenschmirtz!"
"Workin' hard or hardly workin'?"
"Wow, they're those types of people, huh," Heinz's voice sounds flat.
"I'm not in the market for a father figure," Janna further clarifies. "And to be blunt, even if I were, you're pretty marked down, dude."
"Janna!" comes the voice of her mother.
"That's no way to speak to your boss!" her father says.
"Guys??????" Janna pronounces all the question marks.
"Ah, come on, Janna the Teenage Girl, you can totally have two different sets of parents! I should know: I'm divorced. And! For more living proof, should such be required, I myself have an ocelot family and a people-"
There is a pause. It is sharp, almost. Maybe even jagged. You're certainly flinching.
"...well, maybe not a people family, come to think of it…"
"Hence all this," you hear Janna mumble. The acoustics on the Whatever-This-Is-Inator is really good. Anyway, she sighs. "Look. Doc. Lemme level with ya, here. You just drove me to use the word 'hence' outside of a high school English essay, which is a line I swore to myself I'd never cross. Don't you think you're comin' on just a smidge strong, here?"
"Hmmm. Come to think of it, there's rarely any setting on my -inator's ranges between "The City Block" and "the Kuiper Belt"." Heinz coughs, in an awkward sort of way. "I-I-I think I see whatcha mean, here; I really don't have a middle setting, do I? It's all extremes."
"The D-Games: The X-Games of Relating to People."
You find it surprsingly hard not to laugh at that. Thankfully, you don't think either of them can hear you over Heinz's own laughter.
"...look," Janna says, "I dunno how deep you want me digging, or...whether you're altogether fond of the sap that flows from the family tree."
"Poetic."
"It's an English paper kind of day," Janna grumbles. "Point is, it's true that family isn't just who you're born with, it's who you choose to be with. I'm all for that. But…" She cringes. It's a sort of, crumpling, half-chuckled noise, you think you'd describe it as. "You don't get to kick family members out and take over their spots. Not in a… a good family."
Oh. Oh, ouch.
"...ah."
Yikes.
"There are families that have multiple dads, but mine doesn't… have a dad 'slot' open?"
Y i k e s.
"Aaaaaand I tried to make a slot open," Doofenschmirtz sighs the kind of sigh that puffs out your cheeks. "In front of your, ah, your actual parents."
"Yeah, that happened," Janna is quick in her response; you'd guess just barely quick enough to prevent her "actual" parents from speaking up. "Look, doc. I wanna be clear, here. I don't think of you as my dad."
"I getcha, I getcha." Oh. Oh, you've heard that tone of voice before. That first time that Hego almost quit, in front of everyone. That...measured defeat, beneath attempted cheer and care. "I've already intruded enough. I-I'll leave you alone, I don't wanna-"
"Up bup bup bup bup," you imagine Janna reaching out to grab Doofenschmirtz's sleeve. "Wasn't finished. I don't think of you as my dad, but." And there, that trademark smirk. "I do think of you as my family."
Awwww. That's…
"...that's uncharacteristically sweet of you."
Precisely, yes.
"Kitsune's like my older sister that went wild at college and doesn't get along with the folks anymore," Janna ignores the jab. "But she's still cool, and she teaches me stuff about the world that the other people in my life can't. Felldrake's like my loaded grandpa; he's wealthy and he cares about me, even if he pretends not to and scolds me all the time. And then Mirage is… she's like my uptight aunt who's way too strict."
Hey.
"But who secretly has a mischievous side."
Erm. Well. Evidently, yes.
"And who gets me the best Christmas presents."
...what is this sudden warmth in your chest? It feels like… you just drank warm cocoa?
"Oh, and who could forget Russ a second time? Dude isn't directly family, I'll admit that. Sorta more like he's the one teacher at school I can kinda respect, and he shows up to all my little league games or whatever, but: family. All the same." A light chuckle – oddly soft, considering its source. "And then there's you."
"...me?"
"Dotes on me all the time. Gives me stuff I want even when I don't deserve it. Dresses funny, and no one else in the family is quite sure what to do with him. Full of weird ideas, and always working on an evil scheme."
You hear a wumph – seriously, this thing is incredible – and surmise that Janna has put her hand on the Doctor's shoulder.
"Doc, I think of you as my creepy uncle."
...you think you can smell flesh burning, somewhere in the quiet.
"Too much?" Janna finally asks.
"Too much," Heinz confirms.
"Yeah, my b."
"No, no, no, no," you can see Heinz waving her off frantically. Even through the solid door, and your lack of x-ray vision. He's… an expressive sort. "I-i-it's, if anything, you know, it's my, I mean, I'm the one who's b-ing it up all over the place. Bs everywhere! Like a fourth grader's report card after they hack into the school database to cover up their Fs."
"Ah, memories." Janna pauses for a moment. "You get my point, though? Rather not impromptu up a whole second speech."
"Yeah, yeah, I hear ya. Loud and clear."
"Good."
You let out a breath you didn't know you were holding.
"A-and, uh…" A cough, from Doofenschmirtz. "Apologies. To you, Janna, and to you, Janna's parents. To all of you! For, uh, for being presumptuous. To put it lightly."
One more sigh. "Look, dude, I'm not gonna deny that this has been super weird with a side of what in the world, but… I mean, you know. We've all got our bad days. Or whatever." The creak of a leaning chair. "Water under the ol' bridge, and tomorrow, back to whoopee cushions and doomsday schemes? I can swing by that malt shop you like at lunch, pick us both up somethin'."
"Heh. You know something, Janna? Over these past couple years, you've… you've really grown into quite the reasonable, mature, and level-headed young woman!"
"Hold up. Stop there. Slam the brakes. No. You keep saying things like that where my parents could possibly overhear you and that water I mentioned's gonna freeze over reeeeeeal quick."
"I think it's sweet! And very accurate."
"Not now, mom."
"No, no, I'm serious!" Heinz says. "Saving New York. Pushing our Occult division ahead by leaps and bounds. And you've been a real grounding element, too, for Vanessa, for Max, for Kitsune, heck, for loads of people! I mean, when you lay it all out..."
"You sound like Technor. Stop sounding like Technor."
"And then there's today! Jeepers, what was wrong with me today? I come in here, you know, come here basically on a whim, and, and offer to make you my daughter? Put you in that kind of metaphorical death trap? In, in front of your actual parents? Just because you're, you're younger than me and, and what, we hang out at work sometimes?!"
"I mean, for what it's worth, I guess I'm flattered? But yeah. Again. Super weird. Also, what in the world."
"Right?! It's like, 'Holy halcyon, Heinz, if this girl hadn't tugged you down outta the clouds you're floating up in, you'd have just... handed the whole company over to her!'"
Wait, what?
"...wait, what?"
THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE SAYING.
"Yeah, it's something I'm drafting up," Heinz continues, off-handed, like he hasn't just turned the world upside down and shaken out the extra screws. "Bunch of boring legalese, but basically what it boils down to is: I'm, I'm trying to do the evil thing and build up a nepotism-based dynasty, for when I want to step down as ruler of the Tri-State area, so, you know, I figured I'd hand my company over to my heir! Standard billionaire stuff."
"You… you were gonna… me?" Janna, it appears, needed some of those screws that everyone just lost. "Me? Myself? Girl with magic staff and attitude problem? In charge of DEI?"
"Well, not today today, or anything, but like, in the future, yeah, that was the plan!" He's so casual. How? How on Earth can he be so casual? "Vanessa's already told me she wasn't interested, and Norm's kinda doing his own thing lately, and CJ's basically already running the company but in a not CEO kinda way, soooooo I figured I'd go branching out! Get it? Family tree? Branching out? But yeah, yeah, it was a dumb idea. One of my worst, really."
"Well, I mean -" there's the sound of a chair toppling - "- you know, I wouldn't say worst idea, let's be real, there's a LOT of weird stuff in your multi-multi-billion-dollar corporation that -"
"Right? Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated makes so much money!" Heinz 'tsks', seemingly at himself. "It's so much responsibility, juggling everything that's going on; the meetings where you try and pull one over on the most powerful people in the world, the ongoing contract I have to work with the beautiful young man who's next in line to the throne of hell, figuring out magic and mysticism, and that's not even touching on the really really weird stuff we've got goin' on! You'd totally hate having to oversee all that and the money! More than some governments make. Like, major governments."
"It'd be a growing opportunity, though!" Desperation. High-pitched and slightly squeaky. "Be good to get some practice in at being grown up, now that, you know, I am one! Plus, come to think of it, being called 'mature' doesn't sound all that bad! Especially from, uh, you! Second da-?"
"You know what; you're right," Heinz. Misinterpreting things. The most incredible way. "It's time I be mature about this. Vanessa may not want to follow the same path I have, but that's no reason for me to force my dreams of world domination on some other innocent girl. That'd just be too evil, even for yours truly!"
"World… domination…?"
"Thanks for talking some sense into me, back there. I almost went off the deep end. Like, completely. You could've been put in charge of Doofenschmirtz Evil Incorporated, someday, if you hadn't spoken up!" Heinz sighs, and you hear footsteps approaching the door. "Man, that would've been a curse on you, Janna the Teenage Girl."
"Janna Doofenschmirtz sounds like a fantastic name!" you hear Janna run after him, even as you move away from the door. "It's really starting to grow on me! Like a family tree, hah! I'll do anything. I'll make you breakfast every morning. I'll have a quinceañera! I'LL MARRY VANESSA-"
Thunk.
You slip the device back into your pocket as the door closes behind the Doctor, but it's too late – he sees it. You can tell by the way his face lights up. "Ah, Mirage, great to see ya! How's the Lemme-Whisper-In-Your-Ear-Inator workin' out for ya? Get all of the, whatcha callit, the juicy details?"
You opt, instead of answering, to stare, and to let your mouth open and close, fishlike.
Eventually, you draw the LWIYEI-Inator from your pocket.
You look at it.
You look back to Heinz.
You look to it once more.
And again, you look to Heinz.
"Sir…" a few more back and forths. "Did you…" Finally, you're able to focus in on your boss, and ask a question you never thought you would:
"Did you just… prank Janna?"
"Hmm?" Heinz's face is cheerily blank.
"NOTHING!" You throw the device as hard as you can in a random direction, where it breaks some glass and causes a cat to yowl, as is tradition. "I. Have some important business. To attend to. Rrrrright now!" A brittle laugh. Practically already broken. "I hate to leave your company, but I... have to run your company! Heh."
"Well, hey, don't let me keep ya!" Heinz chuckles, like nothing is wrong. "Catch ya on the flip side!"
"Too true!" you grit out, before turning and walking away. "Have a good day, Doctor!"
"Oh, you too, Mirage!" He's waving. You can't see him, you refuse to look back, but you know he's waving. "Let's do lunch sometime! My treat!"
Karma, you grow ever more certain, every day, is all too real.
Now if only you could identify who the targets are.
A/N: A gift for @Made in Heaven , our own curmudgeonly grandfather, for putting up with all of our nonsense.
Was Doof being serious, in his proposal? Was he, as Mirage intuited, attempting to prank Janna? Was this a multilayered gotcha on Mirage herself that both Doof and Janna (and Janna's parents) planned together, as a bonding activity?
The world may never know.