DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- Great Khanate of Scotland
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Unsure, but there should be an island-inator
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
I think Doof has a Build-an-Inator Island in the same sense that Riley had Hockey Island or Goofball Island. It's a combination of enjoyable activity and coping strategy.
The first inator Doof created is the incomprehensible tangle of psychological Rube Goldberg machinery that makes him capable of building something as bizarre as an inator in the first place.
I think the Island-Inator is up in central control, and it's the thing the Doof emotional avatars push the buttons on to cause Inator Island to start work on a new inator.
The first inator Doof created is the incomprehensible tangle of psychological Rube Goldberg machinery that makes him capable of building something as bizarre as an inator in the first place.
- Location
- Everywhere
I think at this point, there's definitely a Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated island. He genuinely cares about his employees and has found friends among them, some of whom are fellow evil geniuses he gets along with better than he ever did with LOVEMUFFIN.
EDIT:
Just noticed something:
We need to do this right away. As previously speculated, it's getting harder over time.
EDIT:
Just noticed something:
July/August 2017 said:
September/October 2017 said:
We need to do this right away. As previously speculated, it's getting harder over time.
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- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I think that was more about Mirage being bad at Toon wrangling. We'll see in a bit.
Happiness is probably freaking out cause first half of the interaction went out, and now Doof is developing new feelings of happiness occasionally and the console is changing and what is all this?
- Pronouns
- He/They
This tumblr post feels relevant:
View: https://prokopetz.tumblr.com/post/679624827144945664/well-this-is-grim-dont-judge-too-harshly
View: https://prokopetz.tumblr.com/post/679624827144945664/well-this-is-grim-dont-judge-too-harshly
Stratagemini
Totally a Fire Ferret.
- Location
- Central Park
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
Random Inators of Questionable Value!
The Friendship Inator!
Doof has decided to make an Inator to make new friends! It Influences people to want to work with him because Doof has no work/life balance! 3 random Collaboration actions are unlocked for every stat. All National Actions taken must be collaboration actions this turn. A collaboration action is either one that unlocks a future collaboration, or that collaborates with another King.
The Ruin my Pho Inator!
This inator ruins all Pho soups in the continental United States. All heroes that are capable of eating, for all factions in the geographic area, take a -5 Morale bonus on all actions this turn.
The Shiny Thing Inator!
Technically speaking this Inator doesn't actually do anything, but it is shiny! So shiny in fact that you can equip it on a hero unit! That hero unit takes a -2 to rolls involving awareness and perception while holding the shiny thing, but the first roll in the next combat they encounter targeting them automatically misses as the enemy is first distracted by the shininess, and then blinded by the reflection of a light source. This destroys the shiny thing Inator, immediately removing both associated penalties and associated benefits for the rest of combat and all rolls thereafter.
The Friendship Inator!
Doof has decided to make an Inator to make new friends! It Influences people to want to work with him because Doof has no work/life balance! 3 random Collaboration actions are unlocked for every stat. All National Actions taken must be collaboration actions this turn. A collaboration action is either one that unlocks a future collaboration, or that collaborates with another King.
The Ruin my Pho Inator!
This inator ruins all Pho soups in the continental United States. All heroes that are capable of eating, for all factions in the geographic area, take a -5 Morale bonus on all actions this turn.
The Shiny Thing Inator!
Technically speaking this Inator doesn't actually do anything, but it is shiny! So shiny in fact that you can equip it on a hero unit! That hero unit takes a -2 to rolls involving awareness and perception while holding the shiny thing, but the first roll in the next combat they encounter targeting them automatically misses as the enemy is first distracted by the shininess, and then blinded by the reflection of a light source. This destroys the shiny thing Inator, immediately removing both associated penalties and associated benefits for the rest of combat and all rolls thereafter.
The Friendship-Is-Magic-Inator is a fiendish device that extracts friendship energy from the unsuspecting populace to fuel arcane workings! Public opinion will suffer as a result of the consumption of friendship energy, but in exchange all magical rolls in Danville, including national actions, receive a bonus during the relevant turn.
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
The Classified-Inator!
One of your Intrigue actions next turn gets stamped with a bright-red "CLASSIFIED" rubber stamp, making everyone who doesn't hold physical possession of the stamped mission folder unable to talk or even think about it! Success or failure, the results of that action cannot be discovered by any faction, anywhere. However, the extreme difficulty in communication caused by the inator removes the Council and Faction Leader bonuses for that action only, and Hero Balls operate at -5 effective Intrigue.
The Classifieds-Inator!
This whole "interviewing new hires" process is starting to annoy you, you miss the days when it seemed like your company just ran itself without you having to do anything! This inator will just do the entire hiring process for you, from putting ads in the paper to signing their contracts! Next turn, a random available Hero Unit from your Holodex shows up to work at DEI. They do not receive any loyalty from being freshly hired as their interview was conducted by a mysterious contraption, but may receive the bonus from evil benefits. Due to the contents of their contract, you are not allowed to fire them for the duration of one year, though they may spontaneously quit.
One of your Intrigue actions next turn gets stamped with a bright-red "CLASSIFIED" rubber stamp, making everyone who doesn't hold physical possession of the stamped mission folder unable to talk or even think about it! Success or failure, the results of that action cannot be discovered by any faction, anywhere. However, the extreme difficulty in communication caused by the inator removes the Council and Faction Leader bonuses for that action only, and Hero Balls operate at -5 effective Intrigue.
The Classifieds-Inator!
This whole "interviewing new hires" process is starting to annoy you, you miss the days when it seemed like your company just ran itself without you having to do anything! This inator will just do the entire hiring process for you, from putting ads in the paper to signing their contracts! Next turn, a random available Hero Unit from your Holodex shows up to work at DEI. They do not receive any loyalty from being freshly hired as their interview was conducted by a mysterious contraption, but may receive the bonus from evil benefits. Due to the contents of their contract, you are not allowed to fire them for the duration of one year, though they may spontaneously quit.
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That is, of course, just called "Inator". Hey, it's the first one, he wasn't good at names yet. Still isn't, really.
The Fourth Flavor: Dawnbreakers, Round 1
- Location
- Pennsylvania
The first sign of your imminent arrival in Stormalong is the smell. There's a sickly sweet, yet salty aroma that grows strong the further in you go. While it should be pleasant, it only makes you nauseous. What's strange is there aren't any signs of what could be making such a scent; so far as you can see, it's just the wide ocean blue for as far as the eye can see. Granted, the water here is less blue and more a sickly green, but the point is there's no signs of any natural or unnatural landmarks to be found… at first.
The second sign of you drawing close are the tons of flotsam in the water. Chunks of wood jut out and bob in the waves like buoy bells, only barely less than the amount needed to risk damaging the ship. It still makes for a chilly thought to consider where all that debris came from.
Finally, you see the telltale sight of seagulls flocking up in the sky. Underneath them, you finally find the harbor you assume to be your destination. An endless platform of rotted wood spirals across the sea, supporting an incomprehensible mishmash of willdy different architectures. Some buildings you can see are squat and archaic, while others are bizarrely sleek and alien-looking. In the port before you are countless ships of many makes, docked at various piers or on the move in and out of the harbor.
Pulling out your telescope, you take a moment to scan the harbor before properly pulling in. Among the hustle and bustle of bodies, there's something in particular you notice that makes you frown in concern. There seems to be a band of toughs marching up to ships as they dock. They can be seen around presumed captains, who begrudgingly pony up a chest for them to take away. The ones not being appeased take to roughing up sailors with nothing to offer them.
What concerns you the most are the ones that are dragging people off the pier and deeper into the city. You don't know if they'll do the same to you and yours… but you weren't going to risk your whole crew's safety just yet.
Contested Wits Check: Avoid drawing attention!
Abby Wits: 3d10
4, 6, 8 +10 ➡ 18!
KCC Wits: 2d10
2, 4 +10 ➡ 14!
Abby wins! Tithe Seekers doesn't activate!
Thinking quickly, you gesture to the kid at the wheel of the ship to steer towards a more clustered area. The best thing you could do here was hide in plain sight. You can pack out a perfect spot, right on the edge of a squadron of other candy pirate ships.
Just before you reach the empty pier, you all duck down behind walls or boxes. Eduardo tries his best to join you, even as his horns still peak up over the railing. A big-nosed, shabbily dressed inspector lazily glances over at the Sugar Rush as it docks. His glassy-eyed stare lingers, taking in the sight of your sloop grouping up with other, similar vessels. He dismisses it with a shrug and turns his attention back to the hapless stranger his friends are shaking down.
While the coast looks clear, you make sure everyone is hunkered down until the sun properly sets into the horizon, only daring to drop anchor so that you don't drift away from the dock. Once you're sure it's safe, you gather everyone to start laying down some basic safety rules to follow as long as you're in Stormalong: No wandering off on your own, no talking to strangers, that sort of thing. You feel old just allowing the words to leave your mouth, but it's an unfortunate necessity. These are dangerous (if eccentric) people you're dealing with.
You're interrupted by a scratchy, high-pitched call from outside. Once everyone has run and ducked for cover, you summon the courage to go out onto the railing to see what's going on. It had to be you since Eduardo was a pushover, and…
You didn't look like a kid. Not anymore. At least that had its benefits.
When you peak over the railing, there's a woman wearing an oversized sun hat there who looks well past her prime. She's the full package of fat, old and ugly, mean as it sounds, but it's what's on the inside that counts-
"Yer illegally dockin' 'ere!" She screeches irately. "Gimme one good reason not ta ticket ya!"
Nevermind then. At least you can sort of take advantage of the fact she's mistaken you for a candy pirate.
"Uh… sorry for the confusion ma'am," you offer an uncertain salute. "We got lost on the way here, so we didn't get the memo for where to dock. We'll go wherever you want us."
"Yew'd betta," the hag warns, squinting at you suspiciously. "Say… aren't yew a bit young fer Sticky's lot?"
Hiding a nervous sweat, you try to think of an excuse. "Uh… he's… trying out an internship program?"
She stares at you for a good while, eyes narrowing… and then shrugs her shoulders, calming down.
"Didn't think 'im th'type. Well, yer lucky. We got's a free spot o'er there".
She points to a spot that's thankfully isolated from other ships.
"Get yer keisters o'er there b'fore I have ya on fish guttin' duty!"
"Yes ma'am," you reply nervously.
The woman trundles off. With that, you're finally, mercifully left alone. It doesn't take a genius to guess she's the one in charge of running the docks. Until you get a proper name, you'll just mentally call her Dock Hag. Seems appropriate.
Even as you go ahead and direct the Sugar Rush to the indicated pier, you muse on what you'll need to prepare for the coming weeks. You doubt you've seen the last of the Hag though. And something tells you she's going to be the least of your problems here…
So this is Stormalong…
Frankly, it looks kind of like a dump. Just by looking at it, you can tell it lives up to its seedy, noisy, and all sorts of gross reputation. There are shady types everywhere you look and dark corners even where there should be light.
You have no worries about fitting in here yourself, but Eduardo and the kids stick out like sore thumbs here. In the upcoming weeks, you're sure they'll have to get used to the darker side of the pirate life as soon as they can if they want to make it here. You all have a lot of things to do and no idea how much time you have to do them.
Best get to it, then.
Choose one Crew Action per category. Captain Abby has two Personal Actions instead of one. You may assign a hero to a Crew Action or Adventure instead of a Personal Action.
BUCCANEERING ACTIONS
[ ] Assault Swim Vessels
DC: 20
That Cruise Ship is far from the only boat Father and his Swim have out on the water. Adult merchant ships carrying coffee and office junk act like they own the ocean. It's high time somebody took them down a peg.
Reward: If successful, the Swim's naval presence will be reduced and Swim operations will be disrupted.
[ ] Assault Rival Candy Pirates
DC: 20
Attacking local competition may not be very sportsmanlike, but it's a good way to make people know you mean business and establish a slice of the waters for yourself.
Reward: If successful, you gain reputation and decrease Candy Pirate activity in the area, making it less likely they'll harass and compete with you.
[ ] Hunt Sea Monsters
DC: 25
Ever since that run-in with the Great White Asparagus, you've been leery of letting sea monsters do what they want in the ocean. Going out and thinning out their numbers will not only help your reputation as a no-nonsense monster hunter, but make sea travel a heck of a lot safer for normal folks.
Reward: North Atlantic Sea Monster population reduced. Learn of new creatures. Possibility to gain resources and reputation as legend of your deeds spread.
[ ] Hunt Rogue Vessels
DC: 20
Turns out even pirates have to worry about criminals. Or at least criminals that aren't aligned with their interests. Taking them on could get you in the locals' good graces.
Reward: Gain reputation and decrease rogue pirate activity in the area. Possibility of unique equipment.
[ ] Initiate Bar Fight
DC: 15
As your own experience will tell you, walking up to random toughs in a candy bar and beating them up is a surefire way to gain respect. It also gets you attention, but there's no such thing as bad publicity… right?
Reward: Gain reputation. Meet/beat interesting people. Possibility of recruiting new units after gaining their respect.
[ ] Assault Alien Ships
DC: 25
You were skeptical about the stories of aliens setting shop up North, but its time to face the facts. They're real, and they're here to stay. Not really your problem… unless they're here to cause trouble. You could get the drop on one of those weird, high-tech ships skimming the American coast and see what shakes loose.
Reward: Defeat hostile aliens. Chance to gain unique alien equipment. Hostile alien activity around Stormalong reduced.
DISCOVERY ACTIONS
[ ] Explore Stormalong
DC: 15
The docks may be the busiest part of Stormalong, but it's probably not the most important section of the port city. If you look around, you may find another interesting place.
Reward: Discover new Territories adjacent to Stormalong Docks.
[ ] Investigate Cut Collectors
DC: 25
Those glorified tax collectors are a real pain in your side. If you can figure out where they work and what they do in their off time, you can give them some well deserved payback.
Reward: Cut Collector base discovered, intel and Actions for raids and sabotage unlocked.
[ ] Investigate Weird Crystals
DC: 25
You notice that there's these weird crystalline structures along the former Canadian coastline. You don't know what their deal is, but considering how messed up the place looks, something big had to have happened there.
Reward: Discover recent ??? activity. Possibly make a new Contact.
[ ] Scout for a Marketplace
DC: 20
A big part of being able to sell what you have is location. Try and figure out where potential clients are without having to deal with too much competition.
Reward: Further Gab actions and trade opportunities unlocked
[ ] Look for a Black Market
DC: 20
The term "Black Market" for a place like Stormalong might be kind of a misnomer, but regardless, it's doubtful that legal and illicit goods are traded in the same place.
Reward: Unlock Actions to buy and sell rare equipment, ???
[ ] Look for signs of Stickybum
DC: 25
You and the Captain have a… complicated relationship. You suspect he comes here regularly, and if he found out what you're up to before you're ready for him, you have no doubts he'd try to pull rank or something. Best get the drop on him first.
Reward: Captain Stickybeard's current location and activity revealed.
CONSTRUCTION ACTIONS
[ ] Survey the Sugar Rush
DC: 15
You've only had a cursory glance over the ship so far. There might be things you've overlooked, and you'll need to know the ship inside and out to know how it can be improved.
Reward: Potential Upgrades and Expansions to the Sugar Rush are revealed.
[ ] Repair S.M.E.L.L.M.E.T.
DC: 25
While it works well enough right now, your S.M.E.L.L.M.E.T. is past its prime. To get it to properly work as intended, you'll need to devote time to its restoration.
Reward: S.M.E.L.L.M.E.T. is restored; bonus to Fitness increases.
Cost: 1 Salvage
[ ] Construct a B.O.T.T.L.E.C.A.P.
DC: 20
Of all the handheld ranged weapons you could make, the B.O.T.T.L.E.C.A.P. is probably the easiest; you can get ammo for it fairly easily and it doesn't require too many materials.
Reward: B.O.T.T.L.E.C.A.P. become available as equipment.
Cost: 1 Salvage
[ ] Construct Jawbreaker Cannon
DC: 25
Your ship can field a lot more cannons than it currently has. If you're unable to find more yourself, you can try to build some using what you have.
Reward: Sugar Rush gains additional Cannons
Cost: 1 Sugar, 2 Salvage
[ ] Select a Vessel
[ ] Teach KND 2x4 designs
DC: 20
Tech is an important factor both in a fight and in business. These kids are just the right age to be able to handle - maybe even create - 2x4 gadgets. It would certainly make upgrading the ship easier at least.
Reward: Mob gains the KND initiate trait.
[ ] Dumpster Dive
DC: 15
'One man's trash is another man's treasure' is an expression for a reason. There's all sorts of discarded stuff lying around the port, and digging through it might reveal some hidden diamonds in the rough.
Reward: Gain additional Salvage, possibility of unique Equipment.
GAB ACTIONS
[ ] Look for work
DC: 20
In a place like Stormalong, there's always contractors looking for good hires. The hardest thing for people just starting out is simply getting their food in the door and finding someone willing to take a chance on someone new.
Reward: Available Contracts and Adventures revealed.
[ ] Butter up the Dock Hag
DC: 25
The old lady in charge of the docks can be a real pain, but unfortunately, you'll have to deal with her if you want to be able to dock at the harbor. Maybe you can at least get her to back off.
Reward: The Dock Hag is appeased; you may temporarily ignore Tithe Seekers.
[ ] Bolster Dawnbreaker Founders
DC: 25
Right now the Dawnbreakers are little more than a niche, ragtag group of kids. Growing their numbers will allow them to break out of that niche.
Reward: Dawnbreaker Founders increase to Notable Sie
[ ] Chat up Foreign Sailors
DC: 25
Stormalong is the biggest western nexus for international trade, which means there's people from all over the world here. If you can make a friend here, they might help you find work or tip you off to something important.
Reward: Gain a new contact, potential Adventure found
[ ] Look for a Fence
DC: 25
Part of covering your tracks requires having plausible deniability. Having a middle man to take care of sketchier business for you would go a ways to help there.
Reward: Gain a new contact and unlock actions to trade illicit goods and exchange Resources.
[ ] Go Ship Shopping
DC: 20
As long as you only have this one ship, you'll be stuck in the small time. Growing a proper fleet, or at least a squadron, will allow you to expand your operations.
Reward: Ships available for purchase will be revealed
Cost: Variable
PERSONAL ACTIONS
Abby Lincoln:
[ ] Chill in the candy hoard
Piracy can be a stressful gig. It's important to take a load off every once and a while, and there's no better place to chill than a pile of candy you can lose yourself in.
[ ] Drills and maintenance
The cost of having skills and training is you have to exercise them regularly to keep them sharp. Run through what you have to make sure you're up to par.
[ ] Look into KND presence in Stormalong
Maybe it's a stretch of the imagination, but it's possible you weren't the only Numbuh - former or otherwise - to think of coming here. If there's other Sector remnants here, you'll need to deal with them one way or another.
[ ] Chat with the Girlboss
Eduardo:
[ ] Do menial labor
The crew may not be wanting for much right now, but that doesn't mean it's all great. Do your part to help out and make things easier.
[ ] Play with the kids
The Dawnbreakers work so hard for people so young. You should help them relax in the time they have off.
[ ] Look for Imaginary Friends
You have no idea where any of your old amigos are. If there's a chance any of them are in Stormalong, you have to take it. If not, then maybe you can at least help those who are just as lost and out of place as you are.
[ ] Write to Rachel Wilson
Being a good pen pal means keeping in touch regularly. You should try sending something just to make sure you have the address right.
CURRENT TERRITORY
STORMALONG DOCKS
Controlled By: The Dock Hag
Occupying Forces: 3D10 (K'nuckles Cut Collectors)
Allied Forces: 0D10 (No one stationed)
Production: N/A
Territory Traits
Melting Pot: +1 to Gab actions that establish contact with Foreign entities.
Tithe Seekers: Tribute in 1 Sugar or Wealth must be paid before any Vessel can dock; this may be avoided with a successful contested Wits check vs the current Occupying Forces.
NO LEAVING WHALES UNATTENDED: Those who displease the Dock Hag have Tithe Seekers cost increase by +1, and the Melting Pot bonus is removed until she is appeased.
A simple and squalid series of creaking wooden ports, the harbor of Stormalong is always a busy affair. Not only are the boats there near constantly shipping imports and exports, it is the favored stomping grounds of both hagglers and extorters, all eager to get a cut of the profits. Out of all the locales in Stormalong, the docks most embody its melting pot nature, as one can come across ships and sailors the world over. For this reason, it is an especially popular place for newcomers to make connections, so long as they don't draw the ire of its Mistress.
PORTS OF CALL
[ ] Stay in Stormalong
You just got here. There's still some things you're interested in doing while you're here.
[ ] Set sail for Norfolk
Not happening. No way you're going back there. Not yet.
[ ] Set sail for Miami
Yes, you're aware that technically, kids aren't legally allowed to go there. You're also pretty sure, considering Dethgov's nature, that law in Miami is likely seldom enforced and subject to the governor's eccentric whims. Who said they'll even consider you kids anyway?
Travel DC: 20
[ ] Set sail for Endsville
While you might not be a fan of hers, you like to think you know Mandy. Or at least, how to work around her. Plus, with the possibility of other kids or sympathizers there… Maybe something can be worked out between you?
Travel DC: 25
[ ] Set sail for London
Taking on a bad dude and making bank at the same time? Just like old times. Plus, you're familiar with the former Sector E there, so maybe you won't be totally alone.
Travel DC: 35
[ ] Set sail for Tangier
As a rare neutral zone in a world normally divided between warlords, it might be safer for your crew there. Or at least they won't have to worry about their candy being stolen all the time.
Travel DC: 30
[ ] Cruise around the Atlantic
There's a whole ocean out there begging to be explored; what kind of adventurer would you be to not see what's out there?
Important Note: For Ports of Call, DCs refer to Acceleration checks required for arriving at your destination quick enough that you don't risk having setbacks or encountering danger; if the option to sail somewhere else is selected, you will eventually arrive there regardless of whether you pass the check.
You may Write-in an action for a specific category if there is something particular in mind that was not offered, but all Write-ins GM approval, and I will determine the DC.
⏰ There will be a 12 hour moratorium on this vote to allow for discussion.
When you cast your vote, do it HERE!
The second sign of you drawing close are the tons of flotsam in the water. Chunks of wood jut out and bob in the waves like buoy bells, only barely less than the amount needed to risk damaging the ship. It still makes for a chilly thought to consider where all that debris came from.
Finally, you see the telltale sight of seagulls flocking up in the sky. Underneath them, you finally find the harbor you assume to be your destination. An endless platform of rotted wood spirals across the sea, supporting an incomprehensible mishmash of willdy different architectures. Some buildings you can see are squat and archaic, while others are bizarrely sleek and alien-looking. In the port before you are countless ships of many makes, docked at various piers or on the move in and out of the harbor.
Pulling out your telescope, you take a moment to scan the harbor before properly pulling in. Among the hustle and bustle of bodies, there's something in particular you notice that makes you frown in concern. There seems to be a band of toughs marching up to ships as they dock. They can be seen around presumed captains, who begrudgingly pony up a chest for them to take away. The ones not being appeased take to roughing up sailors with nothing to offer them.
What concerns you the most are the ones that are dragging people off the pier and deeper into the city. You don't know if they'll do the same to you and yours… but you weren't going to risk your whole crew's safety just yet.
Contested Wits Check: Avoid drawing attention!
Abby Wits: 3d10
4, 6, 8 +10 ➡ 18!
KCC Wits: 2d10
2, 4 +10 ➡ 14!
Abby wins! Tithe Seekers doesn't activate!
Thinking quickly, you gesture to the kid at the wheel of the ship to steer towards a more clustered area. The best thing you could do here was hide in plain sight. You can pack out a perfect spot, right on the edge of a squadron of other candy pirate ships.
Just before you reach the empty pier, you all duck down behind walls or boxes. Eduardo tries his best to join you, even as his horns still peak up over the railing. A big-nosed, shabbily dressed inspector lazily glances over at the Sugar Rush as it docks. His glassy-eyed stare lingers, taking in the sight of your sloop grouping up with other, similar vessels. He dismisses it with a shrug and turns his attention back to the hapless stranger his friends are shaking down.
While the coast looks clear, you make sure everyone is hunkered down until the sun properly sets into the horizon, only daring to drop anchor so that you don't drift away from the dock. Once you're sure it's safe, you gather everyone to start laying down some basic safety rules to follow as long as you're in Stormalong: No wandering off on your own, no talking to strangers, that sort of thing. You feel old just allowing the words to leave your mouth, but it's an unfortunate necessity. These are dangerous (if eccentric) people you're dealing with.
You're interrupted by a scratchy, high-pitched call from outside. Once everyone has run and ducked for cover, you summon the courage to go out onto the railing to see what's going on. It had to be you since Eduardo was a pushover, and…
You didn't look like a kid. Not anymore. At least that had its benefits.
When you peak over the railing, there's a woman wearing an oversized sun hat there who looks well past her prime. She's the full package of fat, old and ugly, mean as it sounds, but it's what's on the inside that counts-
"Yer illegally dockin' 'ere!" She screeches irately. "Gimme one good reason not ta ticket ya!"
Nevermind then. At least you can sort of take advantage of the fact she's mistaken you for a candy pirate.
"Uh… sorry for the confusion ma'am," you offer an uncertain salute. "We got lost on the way here, so we didn't get the memo for where to dock. We'll go wherever you want us."
"Yew'd betta," the hag warns, squinting at you suspiciously. "Say… aren't yew a bit young fer Sticky's lot?"
Hiding a nervous sweat, you try to think of an excuse. "Uh… he's… trying out an internship program?"
She stares at you for a good while, eyes narrowing… and then shrugs her shoulders, calming down.
"Didn't think 'im th'type. Well, yer lucky. We got's a free spot o'er there".
She points to a spot that's thankfully isolated from other ships.
"Get yer keisters o'er there b'fore I have ya on fish guttin' duty!"
"Yes ma'am," you reply nervously.
The woman trundles off. With that, you're finally, mercifully left alone. It doesn't take a genius to guess she's the one in charge of running the docks. Until you get a proper name, you'll just mentally call her Dock Hag. Seems appropriate.
Even as you go ahead and direct the Sugar Rush to the indicated pier, you muse on what you'll need to prepare for the coming weeks. You doubt you've seen the last of the Hag though. And something tells you she's going to be the least of your problems here…
STORMALONG ROUND 1 - DAWNBREAKERS TURN
So this is Stormalong…
Frankly, it looks kind of like a dump. Just by looking at it, you can tell it lives up to its seedy, noisy, and all sorts of gross reputation. There are shady types everywhere you look and dark corners even where there should be light.
You have no worries about fitting in here yourself, but Eduardo and the kids stick out like sore thumbs here. In the upcoming weeks, you're sure they'll have to get used to the darker side of the pirate life as soon as they can if they want to make it here. You all have a lot of things to do and no idea how much time you have to do them.
Best get to it, then.
Crew Summary
Current Resources and Expenses:
Sugars - 15
Wealth - 5
Food - 10
Goods - 5
Salvage - 5
Current Resources and Expenses:
Sugars - 15
Wealth - 5
Food - 10
Goods - 5
Salvage - 5
Choose one Crew Action per category. Captain Abby has two Personal Actions instead of one. You may assign a hero to a Crew Action or Adventure instead of a Personal Action.
BUCCANEERING ACTIONS
[ ] Assault Swim Vessels
DC: 20
That Cruise Ship is far from the only boat Father and his Swim have out on the water. Adult merchant ships carrying coffee and office junk act like they own the ocean. It's high time somebody took them down a peg.
Reward: If successful, the Swim's naval presence will be reduced and Swim operations will be disrupted.
[ ] Assault Rival Candy Pirates
DC: 20
Attacking local competition may not be very sportsmanlike, but it's a good way to make people know you mean business and establish a slice of the waters for yourself.
Reward: If successful, you gain reputation and decrease Candy Pirate activity in the area, making it less likely they'll harass and compete with you.
[ ] Hunt Sea Monsters
DC: 25
Ever since that run-in with the Great White Asparagus, you've been leery of letting sea monsters do what they want in the ocean. Going out and thinning out their numbers will not only help your reputation as a no-nonsense monster hunter, but make sea travel a heck of a lot safer for normal folks.
Reward: North Atlantic Sea Monster population reduced. Learn of new creatures. Possibility to gain resources and reputation as legend of your deeds spread.
[ ] Hunt Rogue Vessels
DC: 20
Turns out even pirates have to worry about criminals. Or at least criminals that aren't aligned with their interests. Taking them on could get you in the locals' good graces.
Reward: Gain reputation and decrease rogue pirate activity in the area. Possibility of unique equipment.
[ ] Initiate Bar Fight
DC: 15
As your own experience will tell you, walking up to random toughs in a candy bar and beating them up is a surefire way to gain respect. It also gets you attention, but there's no such thing as bad publicity… right?
Reward: Gain reputation. Meet/beat interesting people. Possibility of recruiting new units after gaining their respect.
[ ] Assault Alien Ships
DC: 25
You were skeptical about the stories of aliens setting shop up North, but its time to face the facts. They're real, and they're here to stay. Not really your problem… unless they're here to cause trouble. You could get the drop on one of those weird, high-tech ships skimming the American coast and see what shakes loose.
Reward: Defeat hostile aliens. Chance to gain unique alien equipment. Hostile alien activity around Stormalong reduced.
DISCOVERY ACTIONS
[ ] Explore Stormalong
DC: 15
The docks may be the busiest part of Stormalong, but it's probably not the most important section of the port city. If you look around, you may find another interesting place.
Reward: Discover new Territories adjacent to Stormalong Docks.
[ ] Investigate Cut Collectors
DC: 25
Those glorified tax collectors are a real pain in your side. If you can figure out where they work and what they do in their off time, you can give them some well deserved payback.
Reward: Cut Collector base discovered, intel and Actions for raids and sabotage unlocked.
[ ] Investigate Weird Crystals
DC: 25
You notice that there's these weird crystalline structures along the former Canadian coastline. You don't know what their deal is, but considering how messed up the place looks, something big had to have happened there.
Reward: Discover recent ??? activity. Possibly make a new Contact.
[ ] Scout for a Marketplace
DC: 20
A big part of being able to sell what you have is location. Try and figure out where potential clients are without having to deal with too much competition.
Reward: Further Gab actions and trade opportunities unlocked
[ ] Look for a Black Market
DC: 20
The term "Black Market" for a place like Stormalong might be kind of a misnomer, but regardless, it's doubtful that legal and illicit goods are traded in the same place.
Reward: Unlock Actions to buy and sell rare equipment, ???
[ ] Look for signs of Stickybum
DC: 25
You and the Captain have a… complicated relationship. You suspect he comes here regularly, and if he found out what you're up to before you're ready for him, you have no doubts he'd try to pull rank or something. Best get the drop on him first.
Reward: Captain Stickybeard's current location and activity revealed.
CONSTRUCTION ACTIONS
[ ] Survey the Sugar Rush
DC: 15
You've only had a cursory glance over the ship so far. There might be things you've overlooked, and you'll need to know the ship inside and out to know how it can be improved.
Reward: Potential Upgrades and Expansions to the Sugar Rush are revealed.
[ ] Repair S.M.E.L.L.M.E.T.
DC: 25
While it works well enough right now, your S.M.E.L.L.M.E.T. is past its prime. To get it to properly work as intended, you'll need to devote time to its restoration.
Reward: S.M.E.L.L.M.E.T. is restored; bonus to Fitness increases.
Cost: 1 Salvage
[ ] Construct a B.O.T.T.L.E.C.A.P.
DC: 20
Of all the handheld ranged weapons you could make, the B.O.T.T.L.E.C.A.P. is probably the easiest; you can get ammo for it fairly easily and it doesn't require too many materials.
Reward: B.O.T.T.L.E.C.A.P. become available as equipment.
Cost: 1 Salvage
[ ] Construct Jawbreaker Cannon
DC: 25
Your ship can field a lot more cannons than it currently has. If you're unable to find more yourself, you can try to build some using what you have.
Reward: Sugar Rush gains additional Cannons
Cost: 1 Sugar, 2 Salvage
[ ] Select a Vessel
[ ] Teach KND 2x4 designs
DC: 20
Tech is an important factor both in a fight and in business. These kids are just the right age to be able to handle - maybe even create - 2x4 gadgets. It would certainly make upgrading the ship easier at least.
Reward: Mob gains the KND initiate trait.
[ ] Dumpster Dive
DC: 15
'One man's trash is another man's treasure' is an expression for a reason. There's all sorts of discarded stuff lying around the port, and digging through it might reveal some hidden diamonds in the rough.
Reward: Gain additional Salvage, possibility of unique Equipment.
GAB ACTIONS
[ ] Look for work
DC: 20
In a place like Stormalong, there's always contractors looking for good hires. The hardest thing for people just starting out is simply getting their food in the door and finding someone willing to take a chance on someone new.
Reward: Available Contracts and Adventures revealed.
[ ] Butter up the Dock Hag
DC: 25
The old lady in charge of the docks can be a real pain, but unfortunately, you'll have to deal with her if you want to be able to dock at the harbor. Maybe you can at least get her to back off.
Reward: The Dock Hag is appeased; you may temporarily ignore Tithe Seekers.
[ ] Bolster Dawnbreaker Founders
DC: 25
Right now the Dawnbreakers are little more than a niche, ragtag group of kids. Growing their numbers will allow them to break out of that niche.
Reward: Dawnbreaker Founders increase to Notable Sie
[ ] Chat up Foreign Sailors
DC: 25
Stormalong is the biggest western nexus for international trade, which means there's people from all over the world here. If you can make a friend here, they might help you find work or tip you off to something important.
Reward: Gain a new contact, potential Adventure found
[ ] Look for a Fence
DC: 25
Part of covering your tracks requires having plausible deniability. Having a middle man to take care of sketchier business for you would go a ways to help there.
Reward: Gain a new contact and unlock actions to trade illicit goods and exchange Resources.
[ ] Go Ship Shopping
DC: 20
As long as you only have this one ship, you'll be stuck in the small time. Growing a proper fleet, or at least a squadron, will allow you to expand your operations.
Reward: Ships available for purchase will be revealed
Cost: Variable
PERSONAL ACTIONS
Abby Lincoln:
[ ] Chill in the candy hoard
Piracy can be a stressful gig. It's important to take a load off every once and a while, and there's no better place to chill than a pile of candy you can lose yourself in.
[ ] Drills and maintenance
The cost of having skills and training is you have to exercise them regularly to keep them sharp. Run through what you have to make sure you're up to par.
[ ] Look into KND presence in Stormalong
Maybe it's a stretch of the imagination, but it's possible you weren't the only Numbuh - former or otherwise - to think of coming here. If there's other Sector remnants here, you'll need to deal with them one way or another.
[ ] Chat with the Girlboss
- [ ] Which Hero or Mob?
Eduardo:
[ ] Do menial labor
The crew may not be wanting for much right now, but that doesn't mean it's all great. Do your part to help out and make things easier.
[ ] Play with the kids
The Dawnbreakers work so hard for people so young. You should help them relax in the time they have off.
[ ] Look for Imaginary Friends
You have no idea where any of your old amigos are. If there's a chance any of them are in Stormalong, you have to take it. If not, then maybe you can at least help those who are just as lost and out of place as you are.
[ ] Write to Rachel Wilson
Being a good pen pal means keeping in touch regularly. You should try sending something just to make sure you have the address right.
CURRENT TERRITORY
STORMALONG DOCKS
Controlled By: The Dock Hag
Occupying Forces: 3D10 (K'nuckles Cut Collectors)
Allied Forces: 0D10 (No one stationed)
Production: N/A
Territory Traits
Melting Pot: +1 to Gab actions that establish contact with Foreign entities.
Tithe Seekers: Tribute in 1 Sugar or Wealth must be paid before any Vessel can dock; this may be avoided with a successful contested Wits check vs the current Occupying Forces.
NO LEAVING WHALES UNATTENDED: Those who displease the Dock Hag have Tithe Seekers cost increase by +1, and the Melting Pot bonus is removed until she is appeased.
A simple and squalid series of creaking wooden ports, the harbor of Stormalong is always a busy affair. Not only are the boats there near constantly shipping imports and exports, it is the favored stomping grounds of both hagglers and extorters, all eager to get a cut of the profits. Out of all the locales in Stormalong, the docks most embody its melting pot nature, as one can come across ships and sailors the world over. For this reason, it is an especially popular place for newcomers to make connections, so long as they don't draw the ire of its Mistress.
PORTS OF CALL
[ ] Stay in Stormalong
You just got here. There's still some things you're interested in doing while you're here.
Not happening. No way you're going back there. Not yet.
[ ] Set sail for Miami
Yes, you're aware that technically, kids aren't legally allowed to go there. You're also pretty sure, considering Dethgov's nature, that law in Miami is likely seldom enforced and subject to the governor's eccentric whims. Who said they'll even consider you kids anyway?
Travel DC: 20
[ ] Set sail for Endsville
While you might not be a fan of hers, you like to think you know Mandy. Or at least, how to work around her. Plus, with the possibility of other kids or sympathizers there… Maybe something can be worked out between you?
Travel DC: 25
[ ] Set sail for London
Taking on a bad dude and making bank at the same time? Just like old times. Plus, you're familiar with the former Sector E there, so maybe you won't be totally alone.
Travel DC: 35
[ ] Set sail for Tangier
As a rare neutral zone in a world normally divided between warlords, it might be safer for your crew there. Or at least they won't have to worry about their candy being stolen all the time.
Travel DC: 30
[ ] Cruise around the Atlantic
There's a whole ocean out there begging to be explored; what kind of adventurer would you be to not see what's out there?
Important Note: For Ports of Call, DCs refer to Acceleration checks required for arriving at your destination quick enough that you don't risk having setbacks or encountering danger; if the option to sail somewhere else is selected, you will eventually arrive there regardless of whether you pass the check.
You may Write-in an action for a specific category if there is something particular in mind that was not offered, but all Write-ins GM approval, and I will determine the DC.
⏰ There will be a 12 hour moratorium on this vote to allow for discussion.
When you cast your vote, do it HERE!
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weredrago2
"Cowabunga, Shadow the Hedgehog..."
- Location
- Florida
- Location
- USA
This is a pretty good one.
And new quest to look at. Nice.
Odd that there were no rolls in the actual update.
And new quest to look at. Nice.
Odd that there were no rolls in the actual update.
SmashQueen
Professional duck-cat.
Now that's an interesting april fools. Honestly forgot which tab i was in until the end.
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Stewardship?
You're not a zebra. You're an ass.
Hopefully ____ coming back should diminish this delusion.
If you listened to Heinz for long enough you could map out the entity of Drusselstein and Danville.
Abby?
- Location
- Great Khanate of Scotland
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I was reading this and getting genuinely disappointed it wasn't real...then I got to the end. Best April Fool's prank ever.
Hmm.
My first thought on reading this part is that this is referring to the Freemasons, who in many conspiracy theories are supposedly recruiting grounds for the Illuminati, and IIRC are somehow involved in the plot of National Treasure.
If that's correct, then the "one" who can engender trust with the Masons could be Matt Bluestone, given his involvement with the Illuminati.
Alternately, Dipper Pines' first name is Mason, so it could also be that the "Masons" are the paper copies of him from that one episode.
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SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
Great piece of descriptive text, a fine example of how you can deliberately break the rules of word use once you know them.