- Location
- London
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
I think it is advisable to be very cautious about assuming Ami is answering the question you think you are asking, especially when you didn't even finish asking it.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
I think it is advisable to be very cautious about assuming Ami is answering the question you think you are asking, especially when you didn't even finish asking it.
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
[x] Action Plan: A Plan of Action
Looks good. May want to do the wedding too though, since we only have 2 days.
Looks good. May want to do the wedding too though, since we only have 2 days.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
EJ over on discord said that he (and likely Vel) are probably going to write the wedding as a "chapter unto itself." So while we could include it as an addition to my action plan, I suspect that doing so would only put more stress on the playerbase (to optimize) and the QMs (to look at what's still left to be done, even as they write the other parts of the action plan).
Or at least, that's my take on it, anyway. I know that there's a lot we want to get done in the wedding chapter (Anko screwing over the Hag somehow, arrange for security, plot against the Hag's plot because I, personally, fear that they'll do something to make the wedding ceremony a 'win' for them while still following the letter of the agreement, etc)
Last edited:
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
@eaglejarl @Velorien
How many Shadow Clones can Keiko make and for how long can she safely sustain them without risking her brain?
IIRC Hazō isn't that far behind compared to Keiko when it comes to Shadow Clone ranks. Does that mean he too can have multiple Shadow Clones run around for a couple of hours at a time?
Either way I'd really like an update that features Hazō interacting with one or more of his Clones. Or, even better, a flashback to one of his first interactions that weren't just laying next to each other in silence.
How many Shadow Clones can Keiko make and for how long can she safely sustain them without risking her brain?
IIRC Hazō isn't that far behind compared to Keiko when it comes to Shadow Clone ranks. Does that mean he too can have multiple Shadow Clones run around for a couple of hours at a time?
Either way I'd really like an update that features Hazō interacting with one or more of his Clones. Or, even better, a flashback to one of his first interactions that weren't just laying next to each other in silence.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
With their current Resolve levels, Keiko and Akane can safely withstand 12 and 9 clone-hours respectively. (The DC on the Resolve roll is determined by the sum of all hours lived by all clones that day, so one clone living for 9 hours would be the same DC as 3 clones living for 3 hours)
At SC 30 the clones last for 3 hours apiece, so Keiko is making 4 clones a day, each lasting for 3 hours, and Akane is making 3 3-hour clones each day. Both of them can do this from just their internal reserves, at least until they level Resolve further.
Right now Hazou has SC 23 (functionally identical to SC 20), Resolve 24, and CR 26. By his Resolve check he can last 9 clone-hours safely. By his chakra reserves he can make 4 clones from his internal reserves. However, because he is only SC 23, his clones can only last for one hour. Therefore, Hazou's limits are 4 clones, each lasting one hour, without Noburi refills, and 9 clones, each lasting one hour, with Noburi refills.
- Location
- Liverpool
We're decided to start a religious war around the time we declared war on the clan who's main gimmick is being the religious clan, after they abused that fact to hit back after losing a vote that improved equality. And, considering how deeply Hazou believes in Uplift, I'd argue a lot of war he's going to be involved in will count as religious war for us.
I find myself agreeing with the doomsayer amphibian. A plan that gives a lot of attention to the wedding, some with aura sparring/furthering plots, and preferably no brevity maluses, will get my vote. Ping me to claim, I'll only be checking in shortly before deadline tomorrow.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Can we make sure this wont take a lot of time (more than a day or so?). We might want to do some stuff before the wedding to prepare for using the wedding as a cover to further other gambits on the "Sabotage Hagoromo" front.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Added a timeline, set to "one day, max." Does that work for you?
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Chapter 386: Dawn of a New World
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chapter 386: Dawn of a New World
According to the teachings of the Mist Academy of the Ninja Arts, ninja were the apex of human existence, capable of shrugging off blows to both body and mind that would shatter a fragile civilian beyond repair. Yet every ninja came to learn that even the apex of human existence could sometimes be devastated by a few simple words. "There were no survivors." "Your family is under investigation." "I love you."
Today, Hazō learned a whole new set as Atomu called out to him on his way out of the main building.
"Lady Hokage requests your presence, m'lord."
Hazō froze dead in his tracks. "Say that again, Atomu."
"Lady Hokage requests your presence, m'lord. The message didn't specify a time, but I imagine she's going to be very busy for a while, so earlier might be better."
"Lady Hokage?" Hazō asked in the voice of a man hoping he was going deaf.
"I'm sure she can explain matters better to you than I, m'lord. Shall I dispatch a messenger to let her know you're coming?"
"No need," Hazō told him as he broke into a run. No messenger would run as fast as a Gōketsu Hazō who suspected the world might be about to end.
-o-
The Hokage's office was still in place and unexploded. So were the two ANBU guards outside the doors, reassuring him that at least there hadn't been some kind of popular uprising. But beyond them…
"Pleased to meet you, Gōketsu Hazō," the young woman in the hat said with a cordial smile. "I am Mori Ami, the Eighth Hokage."
The horrifying part was how little surprise Hazō felt at the revelation.
"Ami," Hazō said hollowly. "That's ridiculous. There are at least a dozen reasons why you can't be Hokage. Starting with Asuma. What happened to him?"
Ami stopped smiling. "Tragically murdered in the early hours of the morning by a Hagoromo assassin. We have several ANBU witnesses."
What? Why would the Hagoromo…?
No. If there was one thing absolutely never to be done with Ami, it was taking things at face value. He just wished he remembered that more often.
"No way," Hazō said. "For everything wrong with the Hagoromo, the one thing I don't see them doing is committing treason. Who's going to believe that?"
"An ANBU raid on the Hagoromo compound uncovered all sorts of incriminating evidence," Ami replied, "including large amounts of Hidden Rock ryō. Guess they were just using your payment as an excuse to launder their own dirty money. And to think they had the gall to accuse you of being foreign collaborators."
A candle of realisation flickered to life in Hazō's mind. "Ami, how much of the ANBU is KEI, exactly?"
Ami smiled approvingly. "More than you'd think. They're the Hokage's main tool for dealing with the clans—he couldn't exactly use clan ninja to spy on their own.
"Unfortunately," Ami said, "we haven't had time to find out how far the conspiracy reaches. Hagoromo Ritsuo is in custody on charges of treason, but he won't be testifying until we've decided whether he has partners in crime in other clans. We've arrested the other elders as well, though I'm sure some of them will decide to cooperate and turn out to be innocent.
"Sorry, I meant that the other way round.
"Also unfortunately, turns out the Hagoromo are teetering on the verge of bankruptcy. Who knew? Obviously, their new Hokage's not going to be so evil as to strip them of their leadership in a time of crisis and just leave the clan to collapse, so for the time being, administration of all Hagoromo finances has been entrusted to Leaf's top financial experts, namely the Nara Clan."
Hazō stood there, struggling to process the information. Was this a coup? Was there even the slightest chance of the Hagoromo actually being guilty? He'd wanted the clan destroyed, but was executing people for treason an acceptable means? More pressingly, had Ami just had the Hokage assassinated? And if she had, would it be treason to condone it by accepting her authority, or treason to accuse the new Hokage of treason?
He settled on a more tractable question as an excuse to put off thinking about the rest. "But why you? There's been no election. Even if there was, you're not qualified."
"Asuma signed off on the naturalisation paperwork last night," Ami said casually. "Come to think of it, that might have been his last living act. I owe him a debt I can never repay."
The proper response to that should probably have been congratulations, but Hazō's head was still spinning. "You still wouldn't get the votes. We thought about Mari running in the last one, but decided we might as well bet on Yagura being reincarnated with a stylish haircut.
"It's hard to be a demigod," Ami said thoughtfully. "How do you make friends in the playground when you're training with A-rank techniques while the other kids are still learning the Academy Two? How do you prove yourself when you're a hero by default and epic success is just what's expected of you, while anything that makes you look weak actively endangers the village? How do you convince people that you're just like them when every day they watch you do things that are impossible for even the Hokage thanks to the power of the terrifying eldritch abomination that once massacred their families living inside you? How do you develop emotionally when you have no family, just two overworked old men who wish you were your father, and no nurturing female influence in your life? Making Naruto fall in love with me over the last half-year was less an achievement on my part than a failure on the village's.
"Orochimaru was touch and go for a while, but in the end, Asuma never understood that he'd signed off on me spending his money to prove to Orochimaru that I was the more useful ally. Even I couldn't get him out of the lab in the end, but he did lend me a few snake summons to go spread the good news with Naruto's clones, among other specialities.
"Tsunade is a saint and a realist, and I don't know how the contradiction doesn't make her explode. All I had to do was give her my calculations, showing how much I'd benefit, were I the Hokage, from radical investment into healthcare across the continent, and how I would make it happen. And once enlightened self-interest made me trustworthy, how important was it who'd wear the hat, when weighed against millions of lives?
"It's not a cheap commitment to live up to, and frankly, Leaf's treasury has turned out to be underwhelming. But I'm a Mori with closer ties to the Nara than any Hokage in history, and close ties to Mist which will have the Mizukage screaming once the news gets out. If I can't double Leaf's income over the next few years, I'll eat the hat and get one that fits me properly."
"Don't take this the wrong way, Ami," Hazō said wearily, "but you're not on Asuma's level as fighters go. If you're trying to strong-arm the clans into obedience, what makes you think you won't just be tragically assassinated like he was?"
Ami shrugged. "Secret of survival in the shinobi world: if you can't be invincible, be indispensable. I'd love to see the clan with the guts to assassinate me if it sends Naruto into a homicidal rage, pisses Tsunade off by endangering her projects, costs Orochimaru one of his most useful tools, oh, and robs the KEI of the first Kage in history to put clanless interests first."
"It's a house of cards," Hazō said dizzily. "There's no way something this elaborate and fragile won't come down on top of you sooner or later."
Ami grinned. "Not a house of cards. A game. I've stacked the deck, I've dealt myself a solid starting hand, and I've made sure to take a peek at everyone else's before I ever sat down at the table. The rest is down to statistics, bluffing, and the true soul of reality immanent in the luck of the draw."
Hazō needed to go home and process. No, more importantly, he needed to talk to the clan. Ami's madness had finally claimed the village itself, and the Gōketsu would sink or swim depending on how well they could adapt.
"Was this the plan all along?" he asked one last question. "Were you lying when you said you didn't want the hat?"
Ami's grin faded, turned into something faint and wistful. "There are no plans, not really," she said after a second. "Just possibilities. Even this—until the end, I wondered if, instead…"
She trailed off. She looked at him quietly for a moment.
"No. It doesn't matter. You are not the one."
There was something wrong, something painful, about the finality of her tone.
"Ami," Hazō began, "if this is about me, if you think there's something I've done wrong, we can still…"
Ami shook her head, slowly, sadly, and said two words that didn't mean anything to Hazō.
"Timer ends."
Hazō began to turn, but not fast enough, as the seal on the back of the door behind him flared to life—
-o-
Hazō jerked bolt upright as he woke up.
Had it all just been a dream? Just another random nightmare, only with Ami instead of Captain Zabuza? It had been so vivid, and so real…
Hazō had claimed to the Oyabun that he had prophetic dreams. It had been a lie, obviously, ridiculous to the extreme. Only… there was something strangely familiar about this dream, a psychic flavour that Hazō had felt somewhere before, like the faint aftertaste after a meal.
February. February, when Orochimaru knocked him out, and Hazō dreamt of a kaleidoscope of futures all born of a single decision he'd almost made. Hazō still didn't know, to this day, whether that dream had been a premonition, a last stab at salvation sent back from a nightmare future… or just the random fantasy of a mind recovering from intense Orochimaru exposure.
Just like before, the details slipped away as Hazō reached out for them, leaving only vague impressions, and an expression on Ami's face that he had never seen in real life.
With a helpless sigh, Hazō levered himself out of bed. There was always so much to do, and it was never safe to put things off because you were feeling tired. One could never predict what surprises lurked around the corner.
Unaligned Player
Agony that desires to meet Extinction
- Location
- Adrift between sanity and madness
- Pronouns
- Shrug
Thank you for loosening Hazou's stitches for a bit to give us heart attacks Velorien.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Oh.
Oh my.
As an aside, I always wondered why a common (?) first name is also the same as an entire genre of girl-on-girl manga.
Then again, maybe it doesn't even register for Japanese speakers where everything can be spelt in twelve different ways with eight different meanings per spelling.
I want to say we have already met an Inoue Minori but maybe those two names are just blurring and merging into one thing.
These names just keep writing themselves, don't they? 🙃
Speaking of:
Would you believe me if I told you that I was half-anticipating that reversal?
How unexpected.
How intriguing. Ami talked to one of the clones about something and made them dispel so Keiko got the memories? But why not talk to her directly?
Hmm.
Maybe that whole Keiko/Snowflake seperation thing isn't as clean as they had expected. Snowflake did not, if I remember correctly, like Tenten touching her for one. Maybe she isn't into girls like the main one which could cause some confusion.
Or worse, maybe she is, but she doesn't like Tenten which would be very troubling for the original.
Does Keiko mean all of them or just the non-SC version?
That must be some hardcore fantasy RPing.
It's just such a shame Hanabi didn't attend.
In fact, none of the Hyuga did. Not even to spy. Then again, they didn't need to considering how trivial it would be to find out what this game night was for when you know who attended.
Well said.
So... are there no closeted jounin? Or no closeted jounin with a jounin aura?
Good speech.
Well, I guess now we know whom the QMs transferred Hazou's former "Open Mouth, Insert Foot" compels to.
So Yuri and Inoue are are like... ~seven years old at most?
Now that sounds familiar.
Girl is hilarious. Hope she sticks around.
Hand holding? In public?!
How lewd.
Oh yeah?
Answer me this then: If it isn't treason then why is Hazou supporting it?
You can't!
Q.E.D.
Good sentiment.
The following bit... not so much.
Yeah, that... that went about as expected. Not everyone was fooled and I hope that Akane wasn't either after thinking about. But either way, we should talk to her. And soon.
That's confirmation then?
Girl is just getting better and better.
Though I see she spent some time talking to Haru.
Again: How unexpected.
Aww.
--
I would like the next plan to be about the wedding itself. And definitely talk to Akane so we can stop being that innocently insensitive guy that toys with her feelings for once.
And the one after about making the combat plan for the inevitable confrontation with the Hagomoro. There is no time pressure on when that happens in-universe right? So getting the wedding done and over with would be best before anyone can interfere.
- Location
- Bronx
...I felt a great disturbance in the hivemind, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror and were suddenly silenced. I feel something terrible has almost happened.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's from the name's meaning, which is "lily". According to Wikipedia, the editor of a Japanese gay magazine called Barazoku ("rose tribe") coined the term "yurizoku" when referring to the magazine's female readers, and it went from there.
Am I getting predictable? I guess I'll have to work on that. [Evil QM grin]
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
I mean, if I wanted to do some references to established names I wouldn't have played all of them straight (heh) either.
So, uh, no need to become more evil just because of that.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
*eyebrow twitching in retcon-proof Kagome*
- Location
- Europe
The Duel can't really happen in the next few days, at minimum Keiko and Yuno have to go to Isan, probably Noburi (he can just play Clan heir like Yasuji did) and maybe Hazou or Mari.
And we don't know who else Asuma is going to send to deal withAizen Azai, we are just a bunch of chunnin. Maybe he goes himself?
And if Mari goes the Hagoromo might screw us in the mean time.
[X] Action plan: Yuno and Noburi marriage
And we don't know who else Asuma is going to send to deal with
And if Mari goes the Hagoromo might screw us in the mean time.
[X] Action plan: Yuno and Noburi marriage
- Get Yuno and Noburi married
- No shenanigans
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Perhaps next Halloween can feature us killing demons in hell!
(Preferably around six billion of them or so.)
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The last time we simulated mass combat, Keiko and/or Ami and/or Naruto died in all but a single timeline. The time before that, it was Jiraiya, to say nothing of Zabuza. Are you sure you want to roll those dice again?
