RHUNRIKKI STROLLAR (Warhammer Fantasy Golden Age Dwarf Runelord Quest)

[Thor's Twin]

Lighting Darkness

Welcome to this long-distance lecture series on Dwarven Culture and Items. I will assume for the sake of brevity, that you have already undertaken and passed the class regarding the Dwarven Items of Power. That class covers the items of myth and legend crafted by the seclusive Dwarven Runesmiths including, but not limited to, the Runefangs, the Hammer of Sigmar, and other notable items crafted by our stout allies. This class is not that class, so if you were expecting discussion and information on those types of items, I offer my condolences and encouragements to enroll in the appropriate class.

Now that those who wish to remain do so, we can begin on the actual topic that this class covers. Perfectly mundane items that the Dwarves treat as anything but. These items, while conferring no specific advantage to the wearer or user, are venerated as symbols of great importance. Typically the legends surrounding these items revolve around Dwarven Ancestor Gods, one renowned example being the Ring of Grimnir worn by the King of Kraka Drakk. Items such as these would be similar to having in one's possession a goblet that Morr drank from, should he have walked the plane as mortals do. To the Dwarves, these artifacts are proof that their Ancestors are not merely convenient figments of imagination conjured by their society to promote stable social norms but were actual people who carved the foundations of what their culture would become.

While there are scholars who are skeptical of the existence of such figures in myth, especially in regards to such feats as shouting at a mountain causing it to topple onto an approaching Orc horde, it can not be denied that the Dwarves fervently believe in these Ancestor's existence and deeds. In fact, such is the Dwarven belief that these Ancestor's of theirs walked among them at one point in their history that should they be human the label of fanatic would be appropriate. As is, I have never met any Dwarf who expressed any semblance of doubt regarding the existence, authority, or power of these gods. But, alas, we are not here to discuss the Ancestor Gods themselves, but rather some items that legend, rumor, and hearsay claim they owned and gifted at one point.

We will start with a personal favorite of mine, albeit a lesser-known and studied example. The Lamp of Gazul. Many of you will have an inkling of who Gazul is, given that this class is in the more advanced courses regarding Dwarven society offered by our dear academia. However, I have always found that such information can be lacking, faulty, or plain missing from my in-person students. As such, I shall give a brief description of who, exactly Gazul is. Gazul is the Lord of the Dead and the Underearth, essentially Morr's Gardens for Dwarves. He has striking similarities to Morr in that regard, albeit lacking the dreams and prophecies which is often attributed to Morr.

As such, one would think that a lantern of his would provide some benefit to dealing with ghosts or undead. Mayhaps even provide a means to speak to one's ancestors from beyond the grave. This is not the case. For all discernable purposes, the Lamp of Gazul is a normal, albeit finely made, lamp of blackened steel with golden trim and crystal clear glass. It confers no supernatural ability to perceive or deal with the dead and is not even runed to provide light, needing a candle or other means of providing light. If not for the note of it's presumed first owner, we would not even be known that it was likely gifted by Gazul.

The individual who first acquired the item is most commonly known as the Gift-Giver. A runesmith of renown and legend that made a name for themselves in the Northern parts of the Karaz Ankor. Legends speak of him working and acting at around the time the Ancestors walked the land and so much of his tales should be taken with the appropriate amount of skepticism. However, one tale of his coincides with another tale of Gazul, and that is the tale of Vengence for Karak Dum, a Dwarven hold that had fallen to the forces of Chaos in the 1st Great Incursion. Tales of both Gazul and the Gift-Giver describe them acting to avenge the fallen Karak. If the Lamp of Gazul is indeed a gift from the Dwarven Lord of Death, then this is likely the time that it was given.

As to why this particular lantern is a favorite of mine, the reason is simple. It is still being used regularly! The Hearthguard, an interesting pseudo-military force that legends say was founded by the same Gift-Giver and acts as a force of highly trained elders whose goal is to protect and provide for Dwarves suffering and in anguish, are the keepers and users of the Lamp of Gazul. While there is no particularly comparable organization in the Empire, think of them as a tightly knit group of priests from Sigmar, Morr, and Shallya mixed with Witch-hunters and skilled engineers.

The Lamp of Gazul is traditionally utilized by the eldest priest of Gazul amongst the Hearthguard and is symbolically used to light the way in the dark under the earth. Either towards Dwarves who are in danger or in leading Dwarves away from the source of their troubles. Other priests of Gazul among the Hearthguard emulate this tradition, utilizing various replicas of the Lamp of Gazul to provide guidance and comfort to all those they come across who are in distress. Based on the testimonials of Dwarves rescued by the Hearthguard, this tradition has a remarkable effect on the psyche of distraught Dwarves. Even when they know that the lamp carried by the priest of Gazul is a simple replica, the lantern provides immense comfort and stability in a chaotic and dangerous situation. One Dwarf even confessed that he believed Gazul himself had directed the priest there to provide aid and succor in his distress.

This effect is vastly increased when the Dwarves in distress know that the priest of Gazul is carrying the genuine article. Eyewitness accounts describe Dwarves descending into a fanatical fury to protect those being guided out of danger by a priest carrying the Lamp of Gazul. Literally holding chokepoints beyond all semblance of reason to provide sufficient time to escape for those being lead to safety. However, there is an increasingly interesting effect that seems to follow the Lamp of Gazul and its association with the Hearthguard. Given the success of the Hearthguard in their endeavors to protect Dwarves, and the use the Hearthguard put to the Lamp of Gazul, it seems to create an almost circularly reinforcing logic loop on the Dwarves being rescued. The lantern provides comfort and security to Dwarves being guided out, making them easier to handle, less prone to hysterics, and increasing the odds that the Hearthguard has in safely extracting them from trouble. This reinforces the belief for the Dwarves that they will be saved by following the light of Gazul's lamps, which makes the Hearthguard's job easier and more likely to succeed. A cunningly self-reinforcing cycle of belief.

In this way, the genius of the Dwarven societal system is made apparent. The reality of the situation doesn't matter to the Dwarves being saved. It could very well be that the Lamp of Gazul is simply a finely made lamp that hasn't ever been touched by an Ancestor. But the Dwarves believe that it has which makes the job of those who use the lamp, and its replicas, easier than it may otherwise have been. This is not unique to the Lamp of Gazul either but has been an observed phenomenon regarding many of the items that have claims to have been crafted by, or used by, the Ancestor Gods.

In the next lesson, we will look at another item from the north, the Ring of Grimnir, and the effects such an artifact and the legends surrounding it may have shaped the kings of Kraka Drakk. After which, we will begin working our way South and discuss many of the other known artifacts that to this day are being used, or sequestered away, by Dwarves and their effects on Dwarven culture. I wish to those reading this that they find themselves in good health and fine spirits. Until next time.

A/N: This little thought experiment came regarding the latest memento that we have acquired from Gazul and what its fate might be in the future. Given the attitude of the ancestors and Snorri, I have a hard time imagining that the item will simply sit in a vault for the rest of its days, and I can see us using it when we are delving or, after we pass away, the Hearthguard, should they remain in operation, using it in their rescue efforts. I hope you all enjoyed the read of this hypothetical future for the Lamp of Gazul!

 

[Xsplora]

I got inspired by the take a walk option.

Obvious attempt to influence the vote is Obvious

It is almost certainly non canon is obviously terrible, I haven't got the characterization right the word choices are off but I had fun.

Enjoy


Take a walk


Dark clouds chased each other overhead, disappearing across the early evening sky. Long grass rippled, driven by chilled winds whispering to an empty world. This illusion was broken by the muffled complaints of a pair of apprentices pushing an overloaded cart.



"Keep up beardlings." your gruff call echoing across the hills. "Do you think it is going to be any easier when you are journeying without my supervision? I've half a mind to send you back to the beginning to make you work up some muscle if you can't push a simple cart like this."

Two quick calls back of apology and a redoubling of effort followed.

Beardlings, a little grumble and they jump. Really they were putting in a commendable effort, not that you would tell them that. The cart was cunningly designed that unless you pulled it in precisely the right manner, the axles would bind. That would increase the pulling resistance and hence effort, significantly. Suitable for exercising overconfident apprentices and help them build stamina, certainly not for entertainment value of elders watching beardlings.

Your thoughts turn more pensive as you consider the reasons you are out here among the hills, following a hint in one of your master's journals. Some uninterrupted training time for your apprentices and away from those bickering dwarves.

The new Karak for the survivors of Karag Dum wouldn't be finalised for years. To hear some of those beardlings speak unless they got the right door handles for the residential district yesterday then the entire venture would collapse.

What those survivors really wanted was some time from an elder reassuring them that it would really be alright. That the quarrels and disagreements that they had bottled up over the years and decades could be shown without drawing death on themselves and anyone around them. It took an elder's delicate touch to calm them enough that you could direct them onto the right dwarves to help. That they came to you first was the price of being the unstoppable hero of their rescue.

Dealing with traumatised dwarves was never easy and required patience and compassion. Still, there are only so many times you can be interrupted until you need some time away to restock the stone bread that you snuck into their pockets. It's not that you didn't want to help. Your body ached with the need to set things right, but there was only so much time for any dwarf, and they needed to learn that there were other options.

Besides all their worrying was making your apprentices nervous. Karstah and Nain had enough on their plate helping with the planning and equipment for the new karak without having to be guides and councillors too often. Yes they would likely be asked to do so in the future but poor tempering makes a blade sharp and brittle, prone to breaking and your apprentices are showing the first signs. So you took a walk and them with you. Not that you left the survivors alone or any of those other beardlings trying to help, you made sure they had some suitable supervision.

Hinting to Otrek that you would appreciate significant help with the matter was a fair use of the afternoon before you left. The look of relief on his face that he could do something to help you was well worth it too. Maybe you had built up a few too many favors with him. BAH. He should have known what he was getting into with you around. If it wasn't you, well he should have known that he would get stuck with this kind of trouble by volunteering to lead. That's why you avoided it by lumping him with the job all those years ago after his performance after leading the battle with the original greedy troll. Thoughts turning dark and clenching your fists at the memory, No, forcing yourself to calm that grudge was avenged, the trolls leaderless and easily slain. The monster's heart now beats in time with yours in the blue pulses running along with your armour.

The light distracted you for a moment bringing your thoughts on a more positive path. Heh, that was a fun trade with Valma. You might have overheard one of your hearth guards who had heard of one of Valma's dwarves that she had looked over the notes for your runes and promptly got very drunk indeed.

So the story went, she had come to the conclusion that the runes that she had worked so hard to discover, you unravelled even as the trade was taking place, Their secrets revealed to you by her mere discussion of effects. That was supposedly why you felt you had to give her so many runes in recompense. Several drinks and the Bryggeroot Matron running the bar made the mistake of handing Valma a mug with the silver prosthesis you had made the matron. Valma had grabbed the matrons prosthetic arm looked at it for a long moment and then threw herself sobbing into the matron's arms. Wailing loudly that you had just been humouring her and know all the tricks already. Apparently, the matron finally got her to stop making a scene by promising her stone bread cookies if she washed up now and went to bed. Valma apparently said "Yes Mother" wiped her eyes and drunkenly followed the instructions.

A rocky hill in the distance briefly catches your eye. A quick assessment is made, not defensible enough. Well, it would be if all you were doing is camping overnight. But otherwise, there isn't a seam of impressive enough ore nearby to take the risk of a extended stay. Perhaps the location Yorri mentioned might make for a better Karak that the location on the coast. Shaking the thought off, you continue to survey the rolling hills and the mountains in the distance as you wait for your apprentices to catch up. Either way, The Survivors of Dum would have a new home this you swore. To do more than stockpile supplies while the question of location was still in the first year of consideration was pure beardling foolishness. To give advice without knowing facts when as much worth was held in your words was criminal. The solution was this little scouting trip yourself so you could make an informed decision.

Another gust of cold air and the minute shivers of Karstah caught your eye. That was your Dau… Chil.. Apprentices limit for the day. A little ahead of where you thought she'd be but then you had lost a few years from that Things spell in the Dark of the lost karack. They had only your other apprentices around for guidance, and lesson plans to follow, a surprise that she'd done so well but a pleasant one nonetheless.

"Come on beardlings we are going to make to that outcropping tonight and camp there for the night. Now remember Folgi's chant of Northern Sky Fire, no don't repeat it, think it. It is also a map of the path he took north. Why am I bringing it up now? Think beardlings, line four. Now, look at the face of that mountain…"

That gleam in their eyes when they understood a new concept, Grasping the facts and understanding, was better than all the adulation as a returning hero. A brief break in the cloud cover resulted in a shaft of evening light hitting the top of your intended camping site turning it gold.

High above a Brana called to another briefly interrupting your lecture on the chant. You felt your muscles relax slightly at the distant call of your avian allies. All was not well, but with good allies and hard work, it could be put to right.

 

[CuriousRaptor]

My muse bit me so I wrote a little thing. Featuring some Snorri's missing former apprentices!

----------------

Onki was tired, so very very tired. Too long had he chased his quarry from the burning hole of the Earth that was once known an Karak Irkul before it was twisted by malignancy into a place known as Zharr Nagrund before merciful Gazul wiped it out of existence forever. Too long had he had to watch the wake of destruction and hate that his enemy had left in her wake, of the bodies of good stout Dawi, or families and clans left with gaping holes in them, or magic fell and unnatural used on his people. This hunt had gone on for far far too long, but now, finally he and Guardians of Gazul with him had chased her down and cornered her. Nowhere else to flee to, nowhere to avoid them, finally she would fall, as the one who had corrupted her had, as had his Master, and his Master's False God.

"I reckon she's got maybe a half dozen with her, she doesn't have the supplies for more and thanks to the Runesmith we've been keeping her from getting too much distance with her Sorcery," The leader of the Guardians observed.

"Aye," Agreed Onki. The sorceress's last spell had been ripped apart by the rune of spellbreaking he cast at just the right moment, leaving her underlings without a shield to escape with, and because the Guardians had not been split up like she had hoped, they had steadily gained on her and the rest. The rest of the Guardians nodded, and then began to move. No more needed to be said. Everything that needed to be said had already been said before.

A helmetless Frundar clad in blackened spellsteel charged the group roaring some tawdry cry about his dead, now and forever, god. His axe held high as charged the group, only to be struck down as two crossbow bolts found his face even as several more bounced off the rest of his armor, failing to penetrate entirely despite several of the crossbows bearing runes. A clear distraction for four more of his kind, also covered in blackened spell steel but with the addition ornate helmets as well, moved into a position that locked the Guardians into the press of close combat, even as rocks fell behind them blocking off retreat. As the sound of metal of metal intensified Onki kept his wits about him. A moment's warning was all he had to keep her from sending them all to the Underearth, he had learned that the hard way in one of their previous confrontations that she had no loyalty left in her, and she would gladly sacrifice any number to escape her punishment.

His nose tickled, and he touched his amulet, the giant ball of fire flying the melee being rendered unto nothing mere moments before it could crash amongst them all. Sadly, this did nothing to stop her followers from trying to gut him, and he had to dodge a swift swipe of one's axe even as it was also engaging a guardian as well. But it did leave the overzealous Frundar out of position, allowing Onki to grab his arm and hold it fast. His ally following up the arm lock bringing down a ruinous two handed strike upon the offending limb left open to abuse. The spellwrought steel deformed horribly from the blow, but held even though the limb under it snapped audibly to the Frundar's anguished cry. Onki followed it up by tossing the monster into another of his fellows, the Guardians of Gazul wasting no time falling onto both of them attacking any gap or opening even as their fellows use weight and numbers to push the other two back.


Good. Thought the Runesmith as he stalked forward seeking the leader of the Frundar. Turning a corner, he found her. Konna, clad in some horrible amalgamation of blackened steel and some faintly glowing metal he can't identify easily. His elder sister apprentice to Snorri Klausson of Clan Winterhearth, turned from the blasphemous bullheaded statue she had knelt in front of and charged him, runestaff turned spear inscribed with blasphemous runes of hashut in one hand and an axe made much the same way in the other. "Die you meddling wretch!" she roared as a lightning bolt issued from the tip of her spear, only failing to kill him because of the amulet he bore, made in homage to his master's albeit nowhere near the quality. Onki bore through it anyways, charging so close that the spear point was away and past him, even as her axe screamed downwards onto his head, only to be diverted when his heavily gauntleted arm smashed into the flat of the axe, mashing it away as his other hand grabbed her staff, forcing her to stay close or lose her spellcasting focus. As Konna chose the former, Onki reeled her in closely and slamming his gauntlet into her armor heavily, the runes inscribed amplifying the force of the blow into one of great force. Not great enough to do more than only so slightly dent Konna's armor however, the sorceress, spat at him, a cloud of some foul brackish green vapor flying towards his face making him instinctively dodge out of the spell's path.

The follow up was immediate as lengthy haft of blackened wood that was now glowing a fell and deathly red came flying at him through the poisoned fog, failing to make a clean hit, but the tip grazing his cheek, going straight through the protection of his armor as if it was not even there. Konna chuckled as he fell back further, tapping his amulet to dispel the fog, even as the glow on her staff-spear continued to glow red, "And now without your armor, you are going to die Onki, abandoned by your damned Ancestors just like they abandoned poor Thorgrim!"

She wound up to threw her spear at him.

He grabbed from his side a last resort.

The crimson sear was let fly

His hand crossbow fired a bolt of Pure Gromril.


----------------------------------------------------------------

Onki groaned in pain as he became aware he was pinned to the wall via a spear that nearly very nearly took his arm off at the shoulder, a crater emanating from the point of impact. But despite his state, his opponent was in a far worse state, for the bolt he has shot at her was no normal bolt. It bore the Master rune of Conduction, the Rune of Striking, and The Rune of Grudges. Konna, former runesmith, now cultist and sorceress of Hashut screamed as she was burned alive, the weight of his grudges pushing the master rune to make sure her end came. She screamed and screamed as her started to melt from the inside out, as her plaits caught alight, and as for all her sorcerous power and might she could not pull the caught fast bolt out of her now too tough armor.

Onki could only watched as the strictures of Thrungni were fulfilled and a former friend, bent by hate and sorrow finally was finally put to rest.

 

[bird yells]

- Karstah and/or Nain trying to find Master Yorri so they can deliver their orders.

Click to shrink...

Nain looked back at the doors of Master Snorri's workshop as they closed behind him, then forward again, at the sundry items stacked on the handcart in front of him. Travelling gear, a basic set of tools... and twenty axes, neatly packaged for delivery. "Well, what do we do now?"

"I'm handing off my work to the client," Karstah said confidently. "You can come with if you like or else go about it on your own, but I'm not about to start my journey off on the wrong foot."

With that she set off, hauling her own cart purposefully in a straight line away from the workshop; he scrambled to catch up to her. "No, um, I understood that part. I mean how do we figure out where to deliver them?"

Karstah looked a little uncertain at that, momentarily, but then her features settled in a firm expression Nain had come to recognise over their years spent working under the same roof. She kept walking, clearly unwilling to let herself be slowed down by something so trivial as not knowing where she was supposed to go. Nain could not help but notice that, with her current bearings, she was headed straight for a collision with a brick wall. "We'll just ask around until we find someone who knows where he is. Really, how hard could it be?"

---

"Yorri?" the wizened old barkeep said, once they finally caught his attention. "Of course I know where you can find Yorri. Really, what kind of a beardless whelp do you take me for? He's over in Karak Vlag. Just ask one of the gatekeepers there and they can point you in the right direction."

Nain blinked. Well, that was easy.

---

The barkeep looked up to see two travelworn journeymen stumble over his threshold. "Oh, it's you two again. Did you find Yorri?"

"You might say we did, yes," Karstah said, with strained patience. "We went to Karak Vlag, and the gatekeepers very helpfully told us the location of the royal hall, where we might apply for an audience with King Yorri."

"So why're you moping, then, if you found him?" the barkeep asked. "Oh, did you mean you were looking for the other Yorri? Why didn't you say so to start with?"

Karstah mastered her temper, with visible effort, and pressed on. "In that case, do you know where we might find," and she carefully enunciated every syllable, "Yor-ri the rune-smith?"

The barkeep scoffed. "Of course I don't know where he is. Everyone knows Yorri the Wanderer comes and goes as he pleases, so I don't know why you even bother asking. Really, what kind of a-"

"Aaargh! Fine, I'll just track him down on my own! C'mon, Nain, I'll show you why they called me Sabretusk back at the temple!" and so Nain was pulled from the comfortable seat he'd just found for himself and dragged out through the door.

---

"I'll be picking tadpoles out of my beard for days," Nain wailed.

Karstah wrung the murky water out of her braid as best as she could. She grimaced at the oily residue left behind, now coating her hair. "Don't just stand there, we need to get the carts out. Oh, and Nain: we don't tell anybody about what happened here, geddit? No-one must know."

Nain moaned, which she took to indicate agreement.

---

"All right, I've asked all the stallkeepers on the east side of the market, like we agreed," Karstah said. "No luck. Did you find anything out over on the west side?"

"Well," Nain begun uncertainly, "There was one gentledwarf who thought he knew where Yorri might be. I'm pretty sure he was mistaken, though, because he directed me to Karak Vlag, and we already looked there, right?"

Karstah had been looking at nothing in particular, but something in what Nain said seemed to have caught her attention, because her head snapped up and her eyes focused on him with terrifying intensity. "Did you get a good look at him? Did he say what his name was?"

"Um, no, he was wearing a hood. He did introduce himself, though. I remember because he had an unusual name: Irroy. Irroy of Clan Nossi- hey, wait a minute..."

---

"So, we're pretty sure he's holed up inside Master Snorri's workshop."

"I know."

"But we can't just walk in there and hand over the axes, because then we'd break our oaths not to come into contact with Master Snorri before we're ready to be ordained masters."

"I know."

So... do we just sit around outside and wait for him to leave, then?" Nain asked plaintively. Then he brightened up. "Oh, I know! Why don't we ask elders Dolgi and Fjolla to bring him out of the workshop for us?"

Karstah scoffed. "And embarrass ourselves by admitting we can't handle something as simple as making a delivery? No, I'll be damned if I have to ask an elder for help. We'll just watch the front door in shifts. It's not like he can stay in there forever."

---

"-And that's when we decided we had to ask an elder for help, so we went to Elder Dolgi, but he said when he entered the workshop, Elder Yorri just cackled and bolted down the escape tunnel."

Fjolla frowned. "Since when does Master Snorri's workshop have an escape tunnel?"

"Uh, since Yorri dug one, I think. Apparently Master Snorri was pretty put out about it - he said all his plans for defence in depth were thrown into disarray until he could have it filled in. But anyway, we figured we could file a request with the lorekeepers, see if they have any records on him."

"-I know I left that space on the form blank, but the thing is I don't know what Yorri's father's name is, he just goes by Yorri-"

"I can see young Nain over by the clerks' desks, yes, but in that case, why are you standing all the way over here, at the entrance?"

Karstah's cheeks coloured slightly. "I tried to help at first, but I had an argument with a lorekeeper and, uh, it got out of hand. So we agreed Nain would take point on this one and I'd keep my distance."

"You know, Master Snorri sent us out on excursions, on occasion, but I certainly can't recall having to do anything like this. The idea is... interesting." Fjolla glanced contemplatively towards her own apprentices, who were huddled together at her side and looked distinctly nervous.

"-of course I understand I should fill in the forms completely, but look, it says right here in sub-appendix Þ to regulation 275H that where an applicant has attempted with all reasonable diligence-"

"I don't suppose you have any idea where he is, elder? I don't mean to impose, but any advice you could give would be greatly appreciated," Karstah said, with unusual diffidence. She had to stop herself from wringing her hands.

"I'm sorry," Fjolla answered, "but I really don't have any idea. Although..." She paused to tap a finger against her lips. "I do know where you could find his old student Joll. I can't promise he'll know any more than I do, but it couldn't hurt for you to ask him."

Karstah bowed jerkily. "A thousand thanks, elder. If we can't find anything in here, we'll be sure to try Joll next."

"-blue ink? Hang on, nobody said I had to use ink of any particular colour - please don't send me to the back of the queue, sir, I've already been here for over a day-"

---

They found Joll outside the hold, out in a field, just as Elder Fjolla had told them. Nain opened his mouth in the expectation a question about Yorri would come out, but what actually passed his lips was, "um, why are you standing out here with your feet in a big pot? And holding a bunch of ferns in your hands?"

"Nevermind that," Karstah cut in. "Have you seen your Master Yorri anywhere around here, lately?"

"Certainly," Joll said. He continued speaking, but his response frightened the various crows and jackdaws who had perched on his outstretched arms into flight; the birds made such a racket Nain couldn't quite hear what he was saying, for a few seconds. "-just missed him."

"Typical," Karstah groaned. "Do you know where he went?"

"Seriously, though, why are you standing in a pot? Look, Karstah, he's even filled it with soil, it's like he's really trying to be a potted plant-"

"The bond between teacher and pupil is sacred," Joll intoned, by way of answer. "It is not for me to decide how your Master Snorri should instruct his students; if he believes you are not yet ready to learn the secrets of the polypodiophytian meditation technique, then I must not interfere with his decision."

"Right, of course, how silly of us," Karstah said while waving frantically at Nain to stop talking. "If we promise we definitely won't ask anything more about your secret roly-poly meditation, could you please tell us if you know where your Master Yorri has gone?"

"I believe he has left the hold to participate in the bicentennial conference of the Friends of the Zaki Association. They are due to meet a few days from now, in a cave, east of Kraka Drakk."

"And do you know when he'll be back?"

Joll seemed to have some trouble with the question. "Master Yorri does not usually go 'back' after one of his excursions. After the conference is done, I imagine he might head east, or south, or deep underground. Perhaps he will return here some forty years from now?" That triggered a string of expletives from Karstah. Even after more than a hundred years of shared apprenticeship, Nain still found himself impressed by just how inventive and blasphemous her cursing could get, sometimes.

"Nothing for it, we'll have to catch him. Come on, Nain."

"You may want to rent some goats!" Joll called out after them, helpfully.

---

"What do you mean, we can't rent a goat?"

"I never said you couldn't rent a goat, I said you can't rent that particular goat. Or most of the others." The stablehand glanced awkwardly to one side. "Elder Yorri visited a few days ago, you see, and I swore to him that the next pair of journeymen who entered, one woman and one man, I'd only let them have Old Ornery the Twentieth's team." The goat in question gazed balefully at them.

"But why in the world would you swear an oath like that?" Nain asked.

The stablehand looked at the goat, then back at them, then shrugged helplessly. "Elder Yorri has a way with words."

"Bweh," Old Ornery concurred.

---

The journey had posed a number of challenges, including two rockslides Karstah had to save Nain from and one memorable incident where she had to carry Old Ornery over her head for a stretch, the goat having gone on strike, but they eventually found what appeared to be their destination. Above an otherwise nondescript cave entrance, someone had inexpertly painted "FRENDS OF ZAKI ASS"; the next letter trailed off, presumably because the painter had run out of paint. They shared a glance, squared their shoulders and marched in.

Inside, they found themselves confronted with ten wild-eyed dwarfs, all staring at them from their positions huddled around an extinguished campfire. "Excuse me, um... esteemed elders?" Nain tried. They did not immediately object to the descriptor, so he forged on, with slightly more confidence. "We were told we might find a runesmith by the name of Yorri here. Do you know if he is coming to join you?"

"Yorri?" one of them rasped. "Yorri. Yorri, Yorri..." He continued chanting in that manner, rocking from side to side, and it seemed to set the rest of them off, each of them repeatedly saying or muttering or shouting a name Nain could really do with hearing less of right now. The overall effect was not unlike the most awful a cappella choir imaginable.

Addressing the esteemed elders as a collective did not seem to have helped, so Nain decided to change tack and focus on one of them. He turned to face one dwarf in particular, who had stopped chanting to pluck lice out of his beard. Whenever he found a particularly plump one, he plopped it into his mouth with every sign of enjoyment. "I'm sorry to trouble you, sir," Nain said, "but I really do need to know. I was told there was going to be a conference here, do you know if the attendees are on their way?"

"Yorri, Yorri, gnahaha- the conference? Sorry, it's been cancelled. Scheduling conflict. I hear some of the conferees decided to visit the Zaki Friendship League instead, though. They have their own cave on the other side of the mountain, you could try looking in on them."

"Don't know why you'd want to, though," one of the others chipped in. "Those people are crazy."

"You said it, pal. Still, it's probably your best shot if you want to find your Yorri, Yorri, Yorri-"

"I understand, sir," Nain interrupted. "We'll be sure to check in with, um, the League."

"Suit yourselves," the esteemed elder said cheerfully. "Spot of louse before you go?"

"No thank you."

"Bwehh!"

"You don't get a say in this! We're leaving!"

---

"-freak summer blizzard, but that's no excuse to go out unprepared! You two nearly got yourselves killed, young man."

Nain stared at the ceiling. He'd woken up in a sickbed in the Temple of Valaya some time ago, and had at first not known how he'd got there, his last memory being of him and Karstah caught out in a snowstorm. The priestess had been happy to fill him in, though, at length and in great detail.

"Really, you were extremely lucky that elder happened to be around and could bring you to safety. And he even saved your goats, too!" In Nain's opinion, the world would in fact have been a better place if Old Ornery the Twentieth had not made it back to breed a new generation of Old Orneries, but he kept that thought to himself. "You could stand to learn a thing or two from him."

It was easy enough to read the writing on the wall by now. "You're right, of course," Nain said, tone resigned. "Do you know if the honourable elder stayed after rescuing us, so we might thank him in person?"

"No, he went to bring the goats back to their owner and then he said he had some business to attend to. Fine figure of a dwarf, though. I believe he said his name was Yorri?"

From the next bed over, Karstah screamed.

---

It was some time later. The two them had been discharged from the temple with clean bills of health and were currently sitting on some rubbish by the roadside, trying their best to ignore the pitying glances they got from passers-by.

"I still don't think she needed to hit me with that pan," Karstah sulked. "It's not like I wouldn't have quieted down if she'd just asked. Really, what kind of priestess goes around making you more injured?"

"Please don't speak of Priestess Moira that way," Nain objected fearfully. "What if it gets back to her and she takes offence? That woman is terrifying."

"Aye."

"Aye, she is. Well, Nain, I hate to admit it, but I'm stumped. We've tried everything I can think of it's done nothing but wear down the soles of our boots. Maybe it's time we started thinking of giving up..."

"C'mon, Karstah, this isn't like you. I know it's been hard, but we gotta keep at it. We wouldn't want to disappoint Master Snorri by abandoning our very first undertaking as journeymen, would we?"

"Nai."

"Nai. Nai, you're right." She sat up straighter. "We'll just have to keep chipping away at it. No good mineshaft was dug in a day but that's no excuse not to keep digging, right?"

"Exactly! Well said!"

"That's the spirit. Say, lad, could you get off me now?"

"Oh! Of course, elder, my deepest apologies- wait- h-how long have you been lying there?"

"Well, that's a stupid question if I ever heard one," Yorri mused. "I've been lying here since before you decided to sit down on me, obviously. Anyway! If you're quite done gallivanting around, I'd like for my axes to be delivered now, please."

"Oh, I'll show you axes," Karstah snarled. She stomped off to her cart and rammed her hand down one of the waterproof sacks she kept hers in. "I hope you- AUGH!"

The sight of a mirthful Yorri was not quite like anything Nain had ever seen. The man was lying on his back, wheezing out a laugh that seemed to prevent him from breathing right, hands clutching his belly and feet kicking in the air; an elder of uncountable years, transformed into a gleeful and particularly malicious child of eight. Then Karstah withdrew her hand, coated up to the elbow in slime, which only made Yorri laugh harder.

"Ahahaha, I- and then you- the Troll Tongue Substitution Gambit is the oldest trick in the book, ahaha! I can't- I can't believe you fell for it! Ahahaha!"

They spent some time like that, Yorri laughing himself hoarse while the two journeymen looked on, Nain wretchedly and Karstah with apoplectic anger. Once he finally seemed to have calmed down some, Nain marshalled his courage and asked: "Um, what happened to her axes? Wait, are mine also-"

"Oh, I retrieved them some time ago," Yorri said airily. "Wouldn't want to inconvenience you two, would I? Heh. The goods're delivered, so all that's left for you to do is to collect your payment. Enjoy, beardlings!" With that, he kipped up with improbable agility and sped off, leaving them to stare fearfully at the chest that had somehow materialised at their feet.

---

"What, it's just gold in there? There's no jars full of pickled eyeballs or anything?" Nain asked. He sounded perversely disappointed, even to his own ears.

"Well, gold and these pieces of parchment. They're, uh, lists of runesmiths in various holds that Yorri's contracted with? Says here we can show these to them and they'll let us use the non-secure parts of their workshops, in case we get a big commission before we've had time to set up our own workspaces. That's... surprisingly thoughtful."

"It really is, isn't it." Nain scratched his head. "Um. I guess this is where we go our separate ways?"

"Yeah, I suppose we do," Karstah huffed. "Listen, Nain, you'd better make it back in one piece, all right? I won't forgive you if you get hurt out there before you can make Master."

"Of course, Karstah. You too - stay safe." They shook on it, and Nain grinned at her, a little hesitatingly. "Good thing your journey didn't start off on the wrong foot, huh?"

"Oh, shut up."

 

[Salty Birb]

Edit: Here goes nothing

Shokugeki no Snorri: Snorri-Style Fried Durazkul, First Batch of Experiments


Life of a runelord is filled with many activities and dangers, but that does not excuse you from not being able to do anything else! Especially when it involves your cooking hobby! Bah!

Searching back at your memories though, you have only grilled it and the Clergy of Valaya have used it as a stew. The variety of dishes prepared from this durazkul is frankly anemic, especially that the dishes are bland at best! This can't stand any longer, you swear it on your beard that you will create something delicious from these tubers or you will not drink boozes for a decade!

An oath was sworn and you will see it through! Now it is time to research these tubers! Bah!

<><><><><><>​

After researching durazkul so thoroughly in your spare time, you have found that these plants' texture change depending on how it's cooked. It can be crunchy or mushy depending on what techniques are used during the cooking, but it doesn't do anything to the flavor! Bah, at this rate you might as well hit another Durin's Consternation!

With a grunt of frustration you quickly check your collection of recipes, mostly about trolls and some odd ingredients. As you are browsing through your collection though, suddenly an old memory from your apprenticeship with Master Yorri hits you.

'If you can't stand the taste, mask it with a prodigious amount of spices, herbs and gravels! Now go check that troll spine on that pan, you're going to overcook it by a few seconds and will change the taste of my troll broth at this rate!'

After smacking yourself on the forehead for a mistake that can only be made by a dwarf a third of your age, you raid your pantry and start laying them out on the table. A wide array of spices and herbs on a table with the cooking area on the other. The time has come and by your beard you will make this a success!

<><><><><><>​

Attempt number 329 for Snorri-style Fried Durazkul

You have to admit that frying them is a good idea, but you think something is off as eating entire durazkul like this is not exactly what you expect when coming up with the idea. Batter-frying them like what you do with those troll meat is out too, as the batter masks too much of the the tuber's natural texture. You have thoroughly exhausted the ideas of frying this plant thoroughly, it is time to move on by frying them on different shapes!

You quickly, but carefully cut a few durazkuls into a uniform size and shape and separate them into a few bowls.

With base preparation complete, you empty one of your specialized deep-frying pans and pour out the frying oil. After pouring a certain amount to fill a bit over three-fourths of the pan then you fire your stove. While waiting for the oil to reach your go-to frying temperature, you quickly note down the general recipes you have so far.

-Simply drop the durazkul into the frying oil once the latter hits 175 degree Alaric units for twelve minutes, thirty six seconds.

-Then pull them out before seasoning them with salt.

A few minutes later, your oil has reached the required temperature before you put your first set of pre-cut durazkul into the pan. You are not a master chef or anything, but you know that different shapes will affect how long you need to fry them. With your experience of knowing that golden brown color is the ideal color for deep-fried dishes, you simply train your eyes at these tubers.

Four minutes and eleven seconds later, you witness the first sign of these stick-shaped durazkul is going to be done soon. A good sign that you need to concentrate even further to let it out at the most optimal moment. A paltry one minute and twenty three second later, you can see the golden brown exterior on the skin of the tubers, quickly you pull out the perfectly done tubers.

Thank the Ancestors that you're wearing Barak Azamar now, because you don't want to burn your arms like the first attempt of scooping these deep-fried potatoes with your gromril-clad arms. Maybe you'll need to forge something to help you scoop these fried dishes without the risk of burning your arms. Something with enough holes to quickly drain the oil and curved enough so you can put the finished products without the risk of them jumping out, and a wutroth handle so you can handle it safely.

As you sprinkle some salt on these deep-fried dishes, your mind wanders about the durazkul stew that the Clergy of Valaya feeds their patients. You're pretty sure you can improve the recipe, but now you have a dish to try!

After the deep-fried durazkul is cool enough to touch and won't burn your tongue, you take a bite from one of these deep-fried sticks. To your surprise, this simple dish has more impact than you expected, although you think you can improve on this recipe even further by tweaking how long these should be deep-fried. With the transcriber you record the time you used to cook at five minutes and thirty four second. You estimate the ideal cooking time to cook these stick-shaped durazkul is between five and six minutes.

At least fifty nine more tests to be done! Short enough that you reckon this will be done in a month at worst! As you prepare your second batch though, you take another bite from these deep-fried durazkul and find that they are now soggy. A worrying development, as this means you can't use these as trail food. With a sigh, you finish the first batch while thinking what could be good with these deep-fried tubers.

'Maybe these are meant to complement other dishes instead of being the main dish' , you sadly think until the realization hits you harder than Kholek Suneater ever did.

Hastily you make a troll steak and prepare a second batch of these deep-fried durazkul, but this time you are layering them with gravel to reduce the sogginess from the surrounding moisture. It makes estimating time a bit annoying, but you'll preserve as there's no success without failure after all.

With the trial deep-fried durazkul on standby, that leaves only the steak to be finished. Through thousands or more practiced motions in the past, you finish the troll steak without any accidents and temper your expectations about the combination of these two dishes.

As you take a bite from the troll steak, you also take one of the fried durazkul. To your delight, the contrasting texture between the steak and the durazkul makes for a nice dining experience, although it is not without flaws as the deep-fried durazkul still have that soggy texture and the crunchiness isn't as good as the first batch. At least there is progress on this tuber dish, and you don't have to skip drinking for a decade at least! Surely you can always do more tests to improve your first deep-fried and perfected durazkul-based dish! Bah!

Author's Notes: I was tempted to include more recipes, but words just don't come out, anyways, have an omake where Snorri making not!French Fries with some success

 

[firebirds]

An Unwanted Feeling

"Gloin, find a month when you're not planning on killing anything. Lord Klausson says he can make some improvements on your armor"

It takes a while for Gloin's suspicions to add up. The first thing is his armor is lighter - two centuries and countless battles means he is intimately familiar with how it feels and his armor is just a little bit lighter. Except nothing has been removed.

The second is the color - the chainmail is a different shade than what it used to be. Instead of the bright shine of polished steel it is a few shades off - more silver. And matching parts of his armor. His dragonbone and gromril armor.

The third is when he gets swiped across an arm with an ax - the sound is off. He kills the troll of course but inspection of the ax reveals it is no more than steel, likely stolen from another dead dwarf. He is familiar with what steel hitting steel mail sounds like and the tone was...lighter.

Gloin is no miner, no smelter, nor metalsmith - the most intimate he is with metal is when he uses it to kill thingsr - but he is of a Noble clan and grew up learning the tales of Grungni and Valaya. Of Grungni the Artisan. But many ambitious metalworkers must have attempted the feat before, and likely quietly buried their failures. It is crazy, and Lord Klausson is no blacksmith. But who better than a Runesmith to know this metal? It is a legend, a physical demonstration of just how far dwarfs have to go to equal their Ancestors. But… Gloin makes a quiet appointment with Master Gormak of the metalsmiths.

Otrek is working at his desk when Gloin bursts through the door. His son's emotions are barely contained long enough for him to close the door after Gormak. The elder is as stone faced as ever and only centuries of association with him allows him to catch the new energy in his steps.

"Father, please show Master Gormak your armor."

"What?"

"Your armor!" Gloin is practically hopping in place, "I know you got your armor back from Lord Klausson last month!"

An odd request, but easy enough. He walks over to his war cabinet and opens it up. His armor gleams inside, the breastplate as silver bright as the day he first saw it. He stares as Gloin drags the stand out while Gormak runs his hands over the mail, listening to the clink, sniffing it, even licking a corner. He swirls back and exclaims, "It's the same! The exact same! Hahaha, that lad actually did it!"

"Gloin, I'd like an explanation now." Otrek grumbled.

So Gloin talks about his suspicions over the past few months. How the little things that were off kept bugging him. How he made a very quiet appointment with Gormak and half expected to get laughed out of the guild by the Master smith. Gormak takes up the story here and starts listing the various tests he ran on Gloin's mail. He admits that he was mostly confident within the first five minutes but still "had to run every test he could think of because of how utterly ridiculous the truth was." But every result came back the same, "The Prince's chainmail, and your chainmail my King, are made of Gromil. Likely made by Lord Klausson's hands"

Otrek leans back in his chair, he couldn't remember when they sat down but his legs feel too weak to stand up again. He looks back at his beautiful breastplate, it's worth a king's ransom, now a backdrop to the humble miracle that graces his armor stand. Groaning into his hands,"'Minor improvements'! He told me it was for bloody 'minor improvements'! And then he hands it back to me like...like it was an ax he just sharpened!" Looking up with feverish eyes, "What does Lord Klausson want me to do with this?"

Gormak tugs at his beard thoughtfully, "He didn't tell either of you to keep it quiet?" They shake their heads, "Then he doesn't care to keep this secret, he just didn't want all the fuss announcing this would have caused." He snorts, "The lad probably thought it would have disturbed the hold's productivity too much while we're all busy. Actually..." He frowns slightly in thought.

"My King," all humor is now gone from the Elder's face, "I believe he is offering you the choice in how to deal with this going forwards. This," motioning to the stand, "represents a mortal touching upon that which was once only in the providence of an Ancestor. News of this will ripple like an earthquake throughout the Karaz Ankor and all will see Kraka Drakk to be the origin."

"There will be Living Ancestors and clans who will argue we are mistaken or have...spoken falsely. In their fervor they may seek to censure us or rebuke us through trade or," Gormak spat out, "politics until it is undeniable that we speak the truth. I expect in the beginning, we will hear grumblings from every corner of every Karak."

"But with the dross comes the ore. When the truth is confirmed, much of that censure will turn to admiration. Representatives from every clan of metalsmiths will come to Kraka Drakk for the chance of a hint. Some will start new branches of their clans to settle. As Lord Klausson is a Runelord, likely many young runesmiths will come as well. And with them we will see more miners and smelters, looking to feed those forges, not to mention all their families. One way or the other, this will greatly impact the future of the karak and the Gift Giver has allowed you to prepare for it all."

Otrek sighs. He thanks the Elder and asks to be left alone to think about this issue. As the door closes, he wearily stares at his armor, his prior work forgotten. There will be many meetings and discussions in the future to discuss the issue. He'll speak with Gormak, maybe have Gloin wear his armor around more to slowly spread the word and set the stage. It will be a lot of work, but in the long run this will be good for the karak. And it is once again, because of the Gift Giver that he has this opportunity.

He feels the unmissed sensation of a crushing debt on his soul grow ever larger.

---------------------------<><><>-<><><>---------------------------​

A (Un)wanted Feeling - Scattering Embers

Gromril chain. It's one of those phrases that grabs your ears no matter how quiet it was said.

Like the rest of the table Fingard grumbles into his ale. Such bearding nonsense! Like clockwork, every so often you'd get a bearding with more ambition (or drunken ale) than sense and they'd swear they'd be first after Grungni to make a chain out of Gromril. Some of them Masters as well! Bah! Just proof that they hadn't been grumbled at enough as apprentices. Without fail, they'd slink back to the bar after a few years in mild shame, everybody would rib them on it a bit, and life would go on.

It was practically a rite of passage - as a metalsmith you'd have heard stories by the time you started your Journey of at least one dwarf from your karak that had failed in their attempt. Well, maybe not in those northern karaks - too new the lot of them - but any proper Karak worth its name would have a handful of humbled geniuses. The wisest of them kept their failures as a reminder against foolish oaths and overestimating their abilities.

He finished his ale and headed back to his workshop in an irritated mood; he'd dealt with enough nonsense from apprentices at the Guild, he didn't need to hear it while he was drinking as well.

<><><><>​

The runed door silently opened as Fingard left his private workshop. It had hit him particularly hard this time and he blearily stumbled into the kitchen. It took two kegs of ale before he felt strength coming back to his limbs and by experience he knew he'd need another five to feel like a proper dwarf again. Unfortunately he ran out after the sixth keg. Damn and blast! He must have forgotten to stock up after his last bout of inspiration. Grumbling and only half-aware, he walked out and down the street to the quiet pub where all the Guild smiths drank. There was an empty table in the far corner and as soon as he sat down he began the serious business of filling his stomach as efficiently as possible.

It was a Guild pub, open only to members of the Metalsmith's Guild and owned by the Guild itself. This was for a multitude of practical reasons such as allowing a reasonably private area to discuss Guild secrets whilst drinking but the secret was it was started because the earliest masters of the Guild wanted somewhere close they could get food.

His ears sharpen as he hears that all too familiar phrase: gromril chain. He grumbles, the story is still being passed around? And apparently it's not just chain but chainmail this time, Fingard tries to stop listening as he does his best to drown himself in ale. This farce will die down soon enough.

<><><><>​

It is a day like any other when Fingard's world changes. The loud sound of metal on metal as the Guild goes through a normal day's work, the hustle of Longbeards moving with purpose in and among themselves, the bustle of apprentices trying to make themselves useful around everybody else. It is upon this tableau when the normality is shattered by a yelling dwarf.

Everyone's annoyance is cut off, quickly replaced by confusion, when they see the offending loudmouth is not a random Journeyman like they supposed, but instead one of the more esteemed Masters of the Guild. A Longbeard amongst Longbeards, who is openly in tears as he reads from a letter.

The story slowly comes out. A feat of divine work. A legendary metal. A dwarf with more ambition than sense.

And finally, unbelievably. Success.

Gromril chainmail. Made from the hands of a mortal dwarf.

Verified by no fewer than eight Grandmasters of various Guilds from four separate Karaks. Not including the ones from the Karak of the actual smith himself. And in use already as part of the armors of the King and the Heir, both of whom graciously allowed testing to prove the claims.

For the first time in living memory, the hammers of the Metalsmith's Guild fall silent as everybody becomes caught up in the emotion of the news, excitedly discussing the possibilities this opens up and arguing (and minor fistfights) over who they will be sending to visit Kraka Drakk and this Rhunrikki Klausson.

And Grandmaster Fingard, Elder of the Metalsmith's guild, clutches the letter and weeps bitter tears. Bitter happiness as the dreams of a just-graduated Master Fingard a millennia ago are finally realized. Bitter envy as it wasn't him who achieved it.

But inside him, an ember of emotion stirs for the first time in centuries. As the realm of what is possible has grown, dramatically, Fingard allows himself to once again hope for more, to be more, to want…more.

To once again have more ambition than sense.



Notes: Second view added, because it is a continuation of the theme of the prior story.

 

[Salty Birb]

The Unusual Bake-off of Kraka Drak

You are Valka Kemmasdottir, of Clan Strongarm, a plaitling from one of the biggest baker clans in Kraka Drak. At the moment though, you are watching your Da, Orrek Orrekson the Club-hand, staring intensely at a sheet of metal. By your memory though, it has been an hour or so Da glares at it. At this rate, you worry that he will age prematurely.

"Da, what's wrong?" You carefully and softly ask your father

Your father realizes that you are sitting on his lap before softly patting your head and answering your question, "It's nothing too big, just about the next baking competition. Now go play with your Ma, Da needs some time alone."

You quietly jump off from Da's lap and go find your mother to ask about it. What could make the normally cheerful Da to turn serious like this? Fortunately for you, Ma has just finished cleaning our home before she notices you

"Ah, Valka, what brings you here?" Your Ma cheerily asks about your circumstances.

You take a bit to collect your thoughts before telling your Ma, "Uh, it's about Da, he's staring at a sheet of metal related to the next baking competition. Is there anything I can do to cheer him up?"

Ma softly pats you before she explains the circumstances, "Oh, there's nothing we can do to help Da. He's thinking about one unusual rule of bringing an assistant capable of cooking a wide variety of meat dishes. Ma thinks this is because one of the judges is Gift Giver himself."

You are confused, why would Gift Giver cause your Da this headache? You know the Gift Giver as a Legendary dwarf who spent his time arming Kraka Drak three times without batting an eyelid and also has a penchant of creating toys for all children in the hold, including yourself.

Seeing your expression, your Ma continues, "I know that look Valka, the Gift Giver is generous but at the same time he's also odd. Ma's pretty sure that this baking competition will be very exciting with the unusual task he's going to put the contestants through."

Your Ma's explanations give some insights, but also raises more questions like what kind of task the Gift Giver is going to put your dad through for one. Then how odd is the Gift Giver himself, surely one with his reputation can't be that weird, right? You can only wait until the baking competition itself starts and see it for yourself.

<><><><><><>​

Three months later, Grand Final of Kraka Drak Baker's Guild Competition

You are Orrek Orrekson, the head of Clan Stoneflour and you are nervous! Even though you have prepared so much for this, only the Ancestors know the secret ingredient the Gift Giver has prepared for him and his competitors! You have managed to secure a reliable assistant in the name of Vanyra Farstrider, a Longbeard Ranger with a wide repertoire for troll-based recipes. Then you have practiced with her for hundreds of recipes until you have arrived with a winning dish that is modular enough if the main ingredient itself isn't troll meat.

As much as you want to brood in your thoughts about the Rhunrikki himself, you still need to be presentable before you actually bake in front of the Kraka Drak's populace! You don't like dressing up, but you understand that looking good is essential to promote your business! Especially with those two clans, Summerbaker and Meadcrafter, have been doing so for decades! You won't lose to them just because you refuse to look good! Bah, this year you swear you will win the competition!

After some help from your sweetheart and your wife, you are now garbed in a set of clothing that also doubles as your cooking clothes, much to your amazement this is not stuffy at all. Just how much your wife owes the weaver's guild though, you don't want to know, but this just reinforces your desire to win the finals and recoup some of the cost! And maybe get her some of the finest booze from Clan Byggeroot after this if you don't win.

With your determination burning as hot as Gromril forge itself, you walk with your suddenly appearing partner for the finals. As both of you are walking through the streets of Kraka Drak, you can't help but be grateful when you gave her some free stonebread for her fellow rangers while wishing for good luck. That was a random act of kindness of you trying to imitate Gift Giver, but you never expected that act of kindness will net you a capable assistant in processing the troll meat. It seems the longbeard ranger herself heard your troubles and decided to repay your kindness back then by offering herself to be your assistant.

You have to admit that you were initially skeptical about her skill in cooking, after all rangers rarely light a fire during their patrols, but you later learned that some sort of stove design that reduces smoke signature has been designed. You were not interested in the details, but knowing that they can cook without attracting attention has reduced your skepticism slightly. Although you can't be too sure about it and challenge her in cooking troll meat. To your surprise, your daughter and your wife chose the ranger's dish above yours and that solidified your decision to add the quiet ranger to your team.

The first week was fraught with miscommunications and misunderstandings, until both of you agreed to focus on your specialties before discussing the hypothetical results. After many weeks wasted, it's not until the fourth week that you and Vanyra agree about the final shape of the dish. It's not perfect, but hopefully it's good enough to carry you to the championship!

As you are struck reminiscing about your memory with the ranger, she elbows you in the rib as both of you have arrived in the competition area. Hastily you compose your mind and inside the hall, you can see at least hundreds of dwarfs have crowded the venue itself. On the opposing entrances, you see your rivals wave a 'friendly' greeting toward you. Oh, this is a high-stake competition, but it's no excuse to be an ingrate! After all your Da and Ma raised you properly, and you won't shame them!

When your team and your rivals step into the middle of the hall, a skald appears from nowhere and starts his speech.

"Good morning all Dawis and Garazis! I am Brokk Kraggisson from Clan Bardisson and will be your humble servant today! Before we start the main event, I would like to introduce our contestants first! We have Orrek Orreksson from Clan Strongarm, Borr Grimsson from Clan Summerbaker and Snorri Ragnisson from Clan Meadcrafter as our contestants for today! For our honored judges, Alric Orreksson from Clan Strongarm, Joll Grimsson from Clan Summerbaker and Jorri Ragnisson from Clan Meadcrafter as the judges from Baker's guild! For our guest judges, we have Elder Moira Magnasdottir, the head of Clergy of Valaya in Kraka Drak. Elder Algrim Sigurdsson, the Head of Butcher's Guild of Kraka Drak!" The skald pauses to give some dramatic effect before he announces the rest, "Lord Snorri Klausson the Gift Giver!"

The crowd realizes that the Gift-Giver isn't the seventh name mentioned by the skald and falls into a guessing game, who can be more important than the Gift-Giver in Kraka Drak? Fortunately, they don't have to wait long as Brokk announces the final guest, and the name is met by a thunderous applause from the crowd.

"And finally we have Prince Gloin Otreksson, the heir of Kraka Drak! These seven honorable dwarfs are our esteemed guests for today's judging! Contestants, please go to your assigned spot and wait for the starting signal. All of the contestants will have three hours. Your highness, please come with me to announce the mystery ingredient."

<><><><><>​

You are Gloin Otreksson, the prince of Kraka Drak, and you are now standing near a tarp-covered cart with a skald as you are waiting for the signal to pull it. If you have to be honest, the honor should go to the rhunrikki as the secret ingredient is his idea. At least you have been briefed on the ingredient itself from the elders of the baking guild and you have prepared a speech about it.

"Your Highness, please come with me to announce the mystery ingredient." The skald invites you to come to the stage

You see the skald politely waiting for you. Without further ado, you pull the tarp, revealing a lot of troll meat in various states of preparation. You don't know how to cleanly carve a troll, but even to your untrained eye you can tell this is some high-quality troll meat and with equally high-quality preparation from the butcher's guild. Not only that, you can also see some prepared products too, like jerky and sausages. Hastily, you return to reality and start reciting the lines you have painstakingly remembered from months of practice.

"Orrek Orreksson, Borr Grimsson and Snorri Ragnisson. Behold, the troll meat that will be used for today's competition." You say, ignoring various comments about the quality of the meat itself, "This particular specimen was acquired yesterday from Kraka Drak's most skilled team of rangers and as you can see, this has been butchered perfectly thanks to the effort of the Elder of Butcher's Guild. I hope you can combine the troll meat and your expertise in bakery to create a dish that will satisfy our palate! Now begin cooking!" You then pick up a specially made hammer and smack it to a pan as a signal to begin cooking.

"Contestants, you only have three hours!" The skald helpfully informs the time limit once again while you return to your seat.

As you take your seat though, you can see the three contestants start mixing their dough, you are not experienced in baking but you can tell that they are putting all they have on their product. It will not do to not understand the steps behind their craft. Carefully, you whisper to your elders to ask for a play-by-play commentary.

Elder Moira and Elder Algrim refuse promptly, citing their lack of fine experience with baking while they keep other elders of the baking guild from explaining it to you because it can skew your judgment. That leaves the rhunrikki as your only choice and you are tempering yourself to be disappointed before the runelord only grumbles approvingly.

"Alright beardling, I won't repeat myself during my commentary, so you best concentrate fully on listening and watching what they are doing."

You hastily nod and immerse yourself in his commentary while watching the contestants.

"From team Orreksson, I can sniff that they are planning to make a harder variant of stonebread with a little more gravel and stronger flour as their main ingredients. As for the troll meat itself, they're taking a troll's spine and start taking apart for the meat in the region. My guess is that his team is trying to make a crunchy troll patty with proper breading. Interesting idea that they're combining hardy stonebread with crunchy patty, I can't wait to taste that.

"As for team Grimsson, they go with a completely different paradigm than team Orreksson, as they are making a very soft stonebread alongside taking the troll stomach meat for the most tender meat. Even then they are not satisfied with the tenderness of the stomach meat itself as they are pounding it even further. Hmm, the clash between tender and crunchy alone makes it worthy to actually sit here as a judge instead of being a guest of honor.

"Finally for team Ragnisson, I expect them to do something very unusual to win, especially with their stonebread hardness is in the middle of the scale. Also they have taken plenty of troll sausages too, I expect they will pick one with medium chewiness and maybe on the milder flavors . It's a good approach if you are pressed for time, but you don't have any foundations for your troll-sauce. Although they seem to do the worst in my eyes, I do not think they willingly restrict themselves like this without some kind of backup plan. Did you catch all that beardling?"

"Yes rhunrikki!" You reflexively say as you are entranced by the show each contestant put on this competition. Hearing Elder Gift Giver's words also give you a little more understanding of the complexity involved in this competition. While you do not fully understand, at least you are not going in blind like mining without prospecting first.

Time flows like a dwarf chugging beer in happiness or depression, and three hours are up. The three contestants then present their finished dish to you and the other judges. The appearances on each dish can't be more different than each other.

For team Orreksson, it is circular in shape with the troll patty in the middle of the bread with some winter vegetables. As for team Grimsson, it has a similar concept with team Orreksson, but in your curiosity you poked it with your finger and to your surprise, it is much softer than normal stonebread just like what Elder Snorri said. Finally for team Ragnisson, it is a normal loaf of stonebread, but there is an incision in the middle of the bread where a troll sausage alongside winter vegetables are stuffed in. During this time you realize all three teams have a similar concept, but the execution is wildly different.

Considering that these three dishes are based on stonebread, you think it is alright to eat it by hand. As you take your first bite on team Orreksson's dish, you can't help but feel really manly after biting through the hardy stonebread and the extremely crunchy patty, they have pushed the limits of hardiness without making it unpalatable. An impressive start.

Next you try team Grimsson's dish, how will the completely opposite concept stand against the first one. With heightened anticipation, you take a deep bite. As expected there is practically no resistance when your teeth tear through this dish. At first you are disappointed, but you realize that this dish is easy on your mouth and the taste of the sauce on this dish also comes out stronger than team Orreksson's. A little disappointing at the start, but it has some comeback against the first.

For team Ragnisson's dish, you can't help but slightly quiver in anticipation as the first two dishes have given you some pretty novel experiences already. As you bite though, you expect it to be a bit bland as there is no visible sauce, but when it is separated in your mouth, you can taste a strong meaty taste despite the lack of visible sauce! Quickly you examine this dish and to your surprise, you can see the inside of the sausage has been filled with sauce! What an interesting twist!

As you think, you can't help but realize that these three are practically neck-to-neck. It is hard to decide who will be the winner for today's competition. Everyone has done their best in accomplishing the unusual task with practically acceptable standards for elders twice their age in your opinion. Still, you have to withhold your own judgment until you see other elder's deliberations first.

As expected, each of the representatives of the baker's guild throws their clan member as the winner. Elder Algrim nominates Orrek Orreksson, Elder Moira chooses Borr Grimsson. Seeing that Rhunrikki is still deliberating, you hastily give your vote to Elder Snorri Ragnisson, leaving you from making the vital vote. Although you need to make a private and written apology once this is over.

The rhunrikki realizes what you just did only sniffs, "It seems I have to make the deciding judgment, fair enough as I wouldn't trust a beardling to cast the deciding vote. I nominate...."

A/N: So yeah, Hamburger vs Sandwich vs Hot Dog is the central theme here. If I'm on Snorri's position, I can't make a decision as I like all three. Also I made this because my plot bunnies won't shut up since it was two AM local time. I did this not because I want to game the system, just to satisfy my plot bunnies so I can get some proper sleep tonight.

 

[Salty Birb]

Yorri's Culinary Experiment with Dragon Ogres

Some time before Chaos Incursion kicks at full force, somewhere on the Far North.

You are Yorri, no last name or clan relation, just your newest title of the Odd. You have done your best to clean all the records about you through Karaz Ankor. You've been wandering the realm through the years before settling in on a nice place somewhere that you are certain you have written it in the book.

Now you are truly furious as you direct your grontis to smash a beastmen group and let you through. You just left Kraka for what feels like a decade or two, and everything's gone mad! Masses of beastmen coming through, a few daemons tried barring your way! Worst thing is the presence of dragon ogres!

Bah! It's not like you'll let a bunch of Chaos critters stand in your way! As much as you enjoy smashing them, you'd hope to get some sort of compensation for this. Considering your stock of troll jerky is running out and there's a bunch of corpses here, you might as well apply 'solving a problem with another problem'. Hastily you take out some jars containing runes of preservation and start cutting some parts of the dragon ogres. If this was you in the past, you would have taken some beastmen parts too, but let's just say you tried it and it tastes like young Snorri's pathetic attempt at brewing.

With your meat stock secured, you continue your journey to Kraka Drak despite you only know its vague direction! Bah, you're not a beardling, soon or later you'll definitely find your way there and check on young Snorri there! Still, it's better to secure these chunks of Dragon Ogre meat as a souvenir. With an evil cackle of how outlandish the idea is, you can't wait to show it to him.

As you make your trip to Young Snorri's dwelling though, you can't help but be a bit apprehensive at the amount of beastmen, dragon ogres and these weird mutated trolls you have to cut through. Ah well, you can use the exercise in your advanced age, and more troll jerky! Like a miner sensing a gold vein, you make a short work of these assorted Chaos stuff before cutting the choice parts and let it hang out from one of your Grontis, Snorri.

Time passes when you only have a vague sense of it until you can hear a titanic boom in the distance. Common sense dictates that you should stay away from it, but you are not called the Odd for nothing and you quietly, or rather as quietly as a dwarf leading a pack of grontis could be, make your way to the source. To your surprise you find a truly massive species of griffon facing another truly massive species of dragon ogre.

You carefully observe the battle, only to realize the griffon is being outmatched and a flash of silver takes your attention away. To your surprise, there is a dwarf-made torque on the griffon. You will find the truth and you will not be denied! Mentally, you command your grontis to assault the massive dragon ogre while you are approaching the griffon.

"Oi!" You shout at the griffon, "I don't know what you are Griffon. But that torque is dwarf-made. Now I haven't been home in a decade or five, so I have to ask for the sake of courteousness, was that a gift or a spoil of war!?"

<><><><><><>​

After you secure a temporary alliance with the griffon, you and the griffon realize that the best you two can do is to delay that dragon ogre. While you are escaping the fight with the griffon, you can't help but swear a grudge against it for destroying your grontis AND destroying your jerky-in-progress! May Gazul render this dragon ogre's soul forevermore once you slay that thing! Or if someone else does the job!

<><><><><><>​

Sometime after the Grand Conclave of Karaz-a-Karak, Kraka Drak, Young Snorri's workshop.

Freedom! That's all you can think after attending the Grand Conclave. No more Alric Thungnisson bugging you or other runelords trying to persuade you to take up that position! Now it's just you and young Snorri, with an excursion planned and all the fun stuff! Pocket gravel, troll tongue, heck even troll stew if you can find one worthy of your palate if possible!

As that lad is busy doing some research, you are walking around the hold finding a good place to eat. Granted, it takes you some time to find one that can satisfy your tongue, but it's a worthy endeavor! With a place to eat secured, you're giving him a few more months before giving him troll tongue treatment.

A few months later, you decide to visit your former student unannounced. To your expectations, he's still busy researching a few things. You have all the time in the world before you announce your presence, might as well check out what he's researching. To your delight, he's researching dragon ogre corpses and if the loud noises your apprentice makes is correct, he's using them in a destructive manner, leaving a lot of unused meat that you'll happily take.

Since young Snorri is still distracted, you make your move now, "CONSTANT VIGILANCE!"

"It's only been!" Your apprentice pauses to look at a direction before continuing, "Seven months!"

"I know, I know it's rather short, but unlike you, I need something more than stonebread to go with my ale you know! Roughing it is all well and good and every dwarf should be able to do it, but I'm in the mood for some fine Troll and gravel stew."

You can see your apprentice sighing in defeat, "Let me put this heart in the container and we can go."

"Right, speaking of dragon ogre autopsy. I'll have the parts you have broken so thoroughly. Just pack it somewhere in my room if I decide to hit the trails once more."

Young Snorri looks at you as if you have grown a second head, or worse, deciding to shave your beard. You can only sigh at his reaction before giving a little more elaborate explanation.

"Bah, I'm serious about this lad! I want to test if dragon ogres are edible or not!"

That is enough to convince young Snorri that he finally nods. Bah, you know he's smart but sometimes you wish he's a bit faster on the uptake! At least you've got what you wanted for. Now time to take him out for a meal!

<><><><><><>​

A few years after you requested the dragon ogre.

Suddenly, you feel an itch to hit the trails, and after leaving a message alongside a stack of troll jerky then you leave your former apprentice. Of course you don't leave without your literal jars of dragon ogre meat that you manage to salvage from the destructive experiment performed a scant few years ago.

After ensuring that you've left your possession here then you leave Kraka Drak and find a place to be your lair for the next few decades or so. Carefully you move around his workshop before stealthily leaving the Karak to your own journey.

Fortunately for you, it only took you a year or so to find a location to settle down and finally you can start researching these creatures from a culinary standpoint.

<><><><><>​

Bah, you've already in for a copper, you're going for gold now! Time to test multiple cooking methods for them! After you resharpen your ax then you finally cut a jar's worth of dragon ogre meat to cubes before searing them in a pan and braise them for your style of stew.

After finishing the preparations of your stew and put those chunks of dragon ogre meat into a pan, then you take another few jars before you start laying them out and cut them into strips. This batch, you will turn them into actual jerky. You have to marinade them first though before you can leave them hanging outside to dry though. As odd as you are, even you think tasteless jerky is a travesty. Oh well, enough wool gathering! You have a few more things to test while waiting for that jerky to dry!

You have a few hours left while waiting for that jerky to be done, plenty of time to do a few more test dishes! Deep-fried dragon ogres, batter-fried ones, pan-fried dragon ogres, the possibilities are endless! And you won't let a simple unknown to bar you from this potentially delicious and plentiful ingredient! BAH! With a vigor that can only be found on a runesmith managing to crack Durin's Consternation, you efficiently prepare the other jars for other methods of frying!

As you are busy tending the meat on your multiple pans, you also check your other ingredients from time to time. It won't do if you run out other ingredients when you lose yourself in your experiment after all. For a beardling, this will be overwhelming but you've been multitasking for a long time. In no time, you have prepared a few dragon ogre stews and various forms of fried dragon ogres.

Nothing for it, you take a bite from one of the fried dragon ogres. Unfortunately, you find it very resistant against your jaws, a sign that it is not cooked properly. You would be pretty surprised if your first attempt in cooking these things went well to be honest! It's time to properly document your findings starting from now!

<><><><><><>​

It takes you a few years or so until you think you have cracked all the properties of these blasted creatures' meat. From your observations you can safely conclude that:

• These meats are pretty tough, much tougher than troll meat and that's saying something
• They are somehow having innate savory taste much to your befuddlement.
• Needing very, very, very high amounts of thermal units just to increase its temperature by a bit.
• Very receptive to any sort of flavor enhancements

It is a bit mind-boggling, but it's not like you can change your findings at all! At least with the knowledge of its traits, you can start working on a recipe. You think something to completely tenderize the meat should be the first thing like stew. Although your first attempt wasn't a success, it's still a progress! Now it's just a matter of time until you come up with a workable recipe! You can feel it in your beard that you're just one step away from making truly edible treats from these!

Spoiler: A/N

Another short one, this time involving our favorite Master . Also an early Christmas present for everyone here.

 

[theajl]

So, since Mathilde-of-the-Many-Titles and Golden Age Dwarf Santa are both Companion options in the new Karaz Ankor jump, I wrote a little thing. Yes, I'm linking both this thread and the other one, because I'm posting this in both.

Praise @soulcake and @BoneyM.

---

NEGAVERSE: RHUNRIKKI STROLLAZ
From strol, to walk or travel, and -az, 'the definitive article, the real thing.' I couldn't find a khazalid for 'lost' or I'd have used that instead.

Well, you're still alive, so that went better than it could have. Beardlings!

Absently brushing the soot from your beard as best you can, you begin formulating a right proper avalanche of a grumble on the subject of careless experimentation. Then, as the remainder of the smoke clears, you pause. This is not Kraka Drakk. The stone is wrong, the elevation is wrong, the sun coming in that window is at the wrong angle for this time of day, and that is not a Dwarf.

Is this one of those seafaring Elgi there's been word of? No, too short, only barely taller than you are. And her ears are round -

The runed belt she's wearing catches your eye, and from there the rest of the runes in the room. Everything else ceases to be important. Whatever Hold you've ended up in, that one with the sapphire crown is clearly the King. This leaves you with the question of what damnfool apprentice is responsible for the absolutely shameful work being worn on open display in front of him like prize gifts and why their shoddy mine bracing of a master didn't step in!

As you open your mouth to begin a truly incensed grumbling, the Elder to the King's left collects himself and starts speaking first.

Things abruptly get very strange.

What You Know

• You are in Karak Eight Peaks. It is the Age of Vengeance, the Ancestors are all but gone, and the Dwarves are fading. (Bah!)
• Kraka Drakk and the other Northern Holds have been lost for centuries. (BAH!)
• What you took for a simple Elder, insofar as such a thing exists, is Kragg the Grim, regarded as the greatest Runelord of this Age (BAH!).
• Things, in general, are a complete and utter shambles, and would be worse if not for the Umgi - 'human' - Mathilde Weber, who is serving as 'Loremaster' to King Belegar Ironhammer, and is apparently responsible for retaking five of the Eight Peaks from a variety of bitterly hated foes you've never heard of in your life (and also Trolls) in a single day.
• Via a fairly rapid exchange of grumbles and counter-grumbles with Kragg, you have established your bonafides as a genuine 'Golden Age' Runelord.

More detailed dossiers on individuals of note will be forthcoming shortly, but in general, wat do?

Management reminds you that this is a Negaverse Omake and you should not actually vote here, just in case you mistook me for the OP.
[ ] Investigate just how far Thungni's art has fallen.
[ ] Get the lay of the land. What are these urk and grobi and thaggoraki to be spoken of with such hatred? What is the current military, economic, and political situation? Not to put too fine a point on it, what in the Ancestors' names is going on here!
[ ] Analyse your arrival point as quickly and efficiently as you can. If there are traces to be found, they'll likely fade with time.
[ ] Something else?

insufficient viscosity

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beard hair 1526

>Despite being barely of adult age by Dwarf standards, Loremaster Weber is considered a Grandmaster of her Guild, the mhornzukofri, and is uniformly considered to have proven her skill, merit, and reliability by even the dourest of Karak Eight Peaks' Elders.

Click to shrink...

Given she apparently conquered five peaks in a day I'm not surprised! Against orcs and skaven? She's a fucking shadow mage! I could maybe understand fire or death or something like that, but even with Dwarf army support how would you even -

[O] Investigate Loremaster Weber

beard hair 52

I appreciate the lure of the What The Fuck but

[O] Analyse your arrival point

Is both time critical and super important. If we can get back and forth, or bring people back and forward - like, what if the Ancestors vanished because they came forward in time to save the Dwarves?

beard hair 948

You're, uh. You're kinda jumping ahead a bit there. In the first place screwing with time seems hella unsafe, because A) if you look at the character sheet, or if you're familiar with Snorri from the original Quest, you'll notice that we have no (zero) experience with time, and B) which part of the Warhammer universe is characterised by fucky time? Exactly.

beard hair 425

[O] Investigate just how far Thungni's art has fallen.
-[O] Think about what you'd need to do for a proper apprenticeship here

Kraka Drakk will survive without us; given that Word of Bonecake from the What Happened To StrollarQuest post is that we are Strollar Snorri plus a bit of extra knowledge and research and some secrets, Drakk - Goldenage!Drak? Gold!Drak? Snorri's Drak? - has a bunch of our former apprentices and their apprentices, plus a bunch of others. These clowns have us and that's it, as far as actually good runelords go.

Getting to call Kragg the Grim a clown is amazing all by itself, but I have to admit I'm hella excited for a Dwarf from before all the Grudge and Slayer stuff to get stuck into modern Mallus and shake things up. Mathilde seems crazy awesome too (Bonecake, what the hell did you roll?) and while I'm slightly terrified I also really really want to see a collab. What will happen when we put Snorri Presents on the woman who routed five mountains' worth of gribblies in a day? I don't know, but I want to find out.

beard hair 3832

As cool as that sounds, remember we have Winds Denied? Weber is going to be lugging around a fat -35 penalty whenever we wander in her general direction. Personally I don't see that as a bad thing because tbh I'm sus she's some flavour of cultist, probably the Just As Planned type (Weber? spinning webs? plotting? hmm), but if you like her you might wanna keep it in mind.

[O] Analyse your arrival point

Time-critical options are king.

beard hair 489

Can't we control that, though? I'm pretty sure even these local degenerates ( ) can do something that basic.

[O] Investigate just how far Thungni's art has fallen.
-[O] Look into this strange power the Umgi have developed and see if there might be any use for it in your research.

bonecake

Bonecake, what the hell did you roll?

Click to shrink...

RanaldPls.jpg failed to load

beard hair 425

holy shit lmao

beard hair 9235

THIS IS WHERE OUR GOOD DICE WENT AT THE END OF DORFSANTA QUEST
MATHILDE YOU KILLED MY FAVOURITE QUEST

but also Grey Wizard Murderblender is an exceptionally cool concept even without basically singlehandedly retaking Karak Eight Peaks so I forgive you. Something about Grumbly Dorf Santa Grandpa and Cheerful Murderblender Wizard Granddaughter really tickles my interest bone.

[O] Investigate just how far Thungni's art has fallen.
-[O] Look into this strange power the Umgi have developed and see if there might be any use for it in your research.

beard hair 27

Unknown to critsux
Nor known to boxcars
This is the only path
So I pray
Unlimited Cling Onto Mathilde Works!

[O] Investigate just how far Thungni's art has fallen.
-[O] Look into this strange power the Umgi have developed and see if there might be any use for it in your research.

insufficient viscosity

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[Xsplora]

@soulcake I was rereading the story and I was wondering how this legal battle ended up shaking out for Jorri?

Click to shrink...

Bah! You impatient youngster. It's not even been two centuries yet, they're still ensuring that each sides evidence is correct and proper. COme back next century if you want to hear the actual court case happening.

Click to shrink...

Progress is probably about hereish.



Negaverse Karak Karidin Quest

NOT A REAL QUEST​

Spoiler: Rolls

Roll dice to guess what could be happening in Karak Kadrin.

Spoiler: Rolls

Playing with d4 2 Burlok Thagrimsson. well-respected overseer in Kadrin's mines
Who is d4 4 Heavily involved in the production of Kadrin steel
Resources d20 4
Social ability d20 5
Has he behaved dishonourably to set up an ambush for the previous king? 1 yes -3 knew hints and did nothing +4 no d20 12 No
Biggest rival 1-5 Grim 6-10 ??? 11-15 Drago 16-20 Thorri :18 Thorri the Engineer
Ally or at least happy with kingship? 1-5 Grim 6-10 ??? 11-15 Drago 16-20 Thorri: Eliminated second candidate.
Is he courting a ruling Karak clan to improve his standing? 1. No 2. Yes Ruling 3. Branch of Ruling 4. Well connected Clan: d4 4
Which Karak d8 3 Kraz a Karak
Is he doing so succesfully? Social + wealth -20 (It's the biggest Karak)= 5 Yes but it's expensive

Which Tax collector did he send? d4 3. The third.

He arrested the Winterhearth trade caravan!!!!

Was this was random or planned for leverage? d2 2 planned. What?

How much does he know about Snorri? d20 13 Major events + local gossip

How much does he know about Jorri? d20 7 Trader Moves rich goods regular trips north.
Has he been doing this to other traders? d20 2 No planning on squeezing Jorri specifically

WHAT?​

Frantic writing ensues.

Turn 63 Royal Rumble Three

//\\ 243AP//\\​

Your chief Reckoner and frequent advisor Dimrond Dimzadsson, bows himself from the room, the flicker of firelight briefly illuminating the Bull pendant he wears concealed under his robes. His words have strengthened your resolve. All this is for the benefit of Karak Kadrin, even the distasteful parts.

You, Burlok Thagrimsson, turn to the map of the Karak spread over the desk in your office staring over it into the fire, thoughts and plans whirring in your head like the pop of embers from the burning wood before you. Less than a decade to go before this mess is adequately sorted by your estimation, time for one last Gambit if you dare. But which one will give you the advantage you need? Bah. If the elders had just given you the throne immediately, as should have been obvious, then the Karak could have got back to business long before this.

Your lodgings are still the mine overseer's office, the heart of the internal production of the Karak and a building more and more Dwarfs are looking to for guidance. Not the most impressive building but one that demonstrates your virtues. Conservative and Economic strength. Your planning and organisation keep this Karak healthy. You keep the Forges fed and the Stockpiles full, you ensure the warriors have their weapons and the walls are maintained, without fickle unpredictable support from outside the Karak. What do the other candidates bring that you do not?

A quick break from your planning to stretch and look at your office's items rouses your temper. Bah! It would be best if you were using the main hall of the clan home for this, but Grim Gurnisson has long since claimed it as his Headquarters for his foolish bid for the vacant throne of Karak Kadrin. While it displayed his conservative Nature and his Martial Prowess, it gives him unearned attention. He did not slay the Ghorgons that killed King Thorgrim Baragorsson or Prince Skaldor Thorgrimsson or their Retinue. They defeated the Ghorgons at the cost of their own lives. Nor has he completed any Great Martial deeds in the decades since, content to frame himself as a protector without lifting his axe and play the game of diplomacy instead. What has he done to better the hold, slain a beast, defended from a threat? Or just bellowed and blustered?

Firelight flickers against a copy of the engraving on the steel doors to the Karak from the underway. The warrior and the merchant united. But in the light flickering from your fire, it seemed like the warrior was menacing the merchant. Appropriate you snort in dark humour. Sending his Reckoners to tax every merchant has driven them all from the hold. While your Reckoners targeting of the wealthiest merchants may have helped drive them away, his greed has done most of the damage. Rather than moderating the tolls taken to not unduly upset the merchants, he sent more Reckoners to ensure that his tolls where paid first.

A move copied by that Fool pretending to be an engineer Thorri Rorisson. By the time you sent your Reckoners to collect tolls from the richest, the damage was already done. As King he should have taken the lead and assigned who would toll which merchant. He should have done something to mitigate the mess when the situation was not working. Grim Gurnisson did neither and simply watched the Merchants driven from the Karak. While driving out the merchants was your goal. It also revealed his incompetence and inability to deal with subtle Gambits like yours. Did he think actions like yours would not happen under his rule? If so, he was naive in the extreme. The next time something like this happened to Karak Kadrin it would not be done by a dwarf with the Karaks best intrests in mind. An able warrior and Commander Grim Gurnisson may be but not one that should reach further than that.

However, he is a more palatable choice than Dargo Sorensson. Goods and treasures that are not at hand may as well not exist, and Dargo has proved it. Yes, Dargo sensibly focuses on the holds Economic Development but his methods are too radical and not solid. He invariably employs risky ventures and new, unproven ideas that gain great wealth when they work. They also leave you to make up the shortfall when they do not. His basing himself out of the Merchants Guildhall was a mistake. The loss of trade shows all with eyes the inherent instability of his position. A place that should be bustling with activity and wealth for the Karak is looking empty and shabby after that Gambit two decades ago. A secret monument to your victory and a pointed reminder of what happens to an isolated Karak in miniature. Grimnir is long gone. The dwarf that saved Karak Karadin before from a siege of Demons is no longer with us. Dwarfs these days must find new strength. And what has Dargo done? Continued the same losing strategy, trying to sway dwarfs with the promise of merchant caravans that do not exist to carry goods the Karak needs today that will arrive in a year. As King, Dargo would risk us all if Karadin ever falls under siege again. Still, his leadership would be better than the last candidates.

Thorri Rorisson is a radical and risky engineer fond of construction devices barely out of the testing phase with no consideration of tradition. While his policies focus on an equal balance between Martial and Economic, his work's sheer unproven nature is too dangerous. He has rolled the dice and won more than he has lost, but his wins and losses are always substantial. Worse, You where assigned Thorri Rorisson's Losses! His elevator, installed in the mines you oversee against your protest, have broken down twice, massively disrupting schedules. Even its very installation uncovered then forever blocked a very promising seam of iron. A seam that you cannot explore as it would destabilise the elevator. Bah! And to think some dwarf stated it makes the mine look nice. Bah! As if ore a dwarf could not work was anything a sane dwarf wanted to see. He has taken the results of your planning and labour and claimed it as his own. The mines you oversee produce raw materials meant to go to carefully managed stockpiles and skilled dwarfs. They are not to be usurped on mass to create flashy wonders like Thorri's upgrade to the already proven and well equipped 18 Companies of Siege instead of your carefully planned addition to the forge district. This action and similar appropriations have given Thorri Rorisson's a look of unearned productivity and has dwarves listening to him that should, by rights, be listening to you. His trespass Burns and when you are King…

You force your hands to relax and turn back to the map table and the messages awaiting you on it.

Firstly, Good news.

Your efforts over the last decade searching for a suitable bride to strengthen your position has not only proven successful but very much so. Clan Yinlinsson from Karaz-a-Karak has a Dwarf willing to entertain your suit. While the dowry is higher than you would have preferred, even rumours of your courting will force the others to react, scrambling to collect brides and start new dynasties. As if any marriage could be adequately planned and negotiated in less than a decade.

An actual wedding will have your rivals rush their negotiations disgracefully and potentially to poor results. In contrast, Dwarfs will see you moving at a traditional pace. A cadet branch of Yinlinsson moves here, a clan of brewers and warriors strengthens the internal trade of the Karak and increases its safety. Also, as most dwarfs need alcohol to get through the day, there is a profit to be made, especially from the brewers that made a drink so potent that it impressed Valaya herself less than half a century ago.

The second document, battered and a little smudged, offers Potential and Risk. It represents your Gambit's to drive the merchants from the Karak last loose ends.

Dimrond Dimzadsson is both your Reckoner and the dwarf who arrested the leader of Jorri Klausson of Clan Winterhearth's trade Caravan. He has kept the record of the event. It is undeniable proof that Thorulf Thorgnyssn is a toll dodger. Holding on to the document would allow you to prove that Jorri Klausson doges tolls by association and therefore, it is reasonable to charge him more for the ones he does pay. Or Jorri could choose to discharge the debt to his honour another way. His brother is the Legendary Gift giver. You could "forgive" the trespass against Karak Kadrin for a coronation gift forged by a dwarf known to have crowned his Karaks ruler, allowing Jorri to prove that he usually associates with more reputable dwarves. Jorri would have to dismiss and publicly rebuke Thorulf Thorgnyssn and his entire caravan to avoid Thorulf's thieving taint sticking.


These rely on Jorri knowing Dimrond Dimzadsson was your Reckoner and that you have the document in your possession. Suppose you "find" it after your coronation. In that case, there will be whispers that a legitimate reckoner did not collect it and you are dishonourably taking advantage of the situation Jorri finds himself in. However, if Jorri knows it is in your possession, and you don't receive your rightful throne, he could approach the new King. That individual will likely have you charged for falsely collecting taxes, damaging your honour and standing irreparably and forcing you to dismiss Dimrond. The legal fees from a hostile court could be enormous.

The final item in or desk is a copy of a scouting report representing a potential new gambit this decade.

It seems that a small heard of beastmen and a Ghorgon have made camp next to a warpstone nodule near a tiny seam of Gromril that you haven't yet revealed to the Karak. Doing nothing and leaving it until after your coronation is low risk. Defeating the warheard and then miraculously finding Gromril will cement your rule as all but unassailable. Doing it before, slaying a lesser cousin of the beasts that slew King Thorgrim Baragorsson will give you significant legitimacy, attract many clans but exposes you to a great deal of risk. Four of these things killed the King and his bodyguards. Finally, you could leak the location to one of your rivals and see if they take it. It either would give them legitimacy and potentially the Gromril or eliminate them permanently from the competition and leaving you to avenge them heroically.

Decisions yet to be made and weighty ones, Yet far lighter than those you will have to make as King.

Grungni's bust looks down on you. His disapproving scowl is deepening in the firelight. Not that you notice, too absorbed in your schemes.

//\\--//\\​

Rumours

- The Gift Giver has done it again. After returning from the expedition to Karak Dum and seeing its destruction on the orders of ancestor Gazul, he has spent his efforts lately building a new Karak for the rescued survivors. Further rumour has it that he has financed the entire thing himself. An impressive feat. Less so when you realise the gift giver owns both a Gromril mine and a Wutroth forest, among other things.

- Messengers North. Your agents have picked up whispers in the taverns. It seems Grim Gurnisson is proposing a marriage between his sister and of Karak Ungor. Potentially bad news. If he can gain their support, it will strengthen his position. It will take a minor miracle to counter the advantage.

- Licking his wounds. There is no news out of the market district. Is Dargo Sorensson scheming something, or is he preparing to do what he should have done long ago and withdraw from the race?

- Rumbles of construction. That Dwarf Thorri Rorisson has raided one of your carefully assembled stockpiles reducing the Karaks stored wealth. What manner of dangerous, unproven thing could he be building this time?

//\\--//\\​

Gain:

Record for the arrest of one Thorulf Thorgnyssn employed by Jorri Klausson of Clan Winterhearth. Once you are King, you can negotiate a higher tariff for him passing through the Karak, a kind of insurance as he employs known fee dodgers. To resolve the issue Jorri could offer to pay you a great deal of money, disown the dwarf in question and be forever known to have hired a disreputable dwarf. Or perhaps he could talk to his brother, the Gift-Giver and persuade him to make you a runic item to settle their clans' debt to you.

These actions require that Jorri know you have the record in your possession. "Finding" the document after your coronation will not have nearly the impact. Worse, being known to have the form and not being crowned could be a liability and used as proof of you collecting tariffs without authority…

Marriage contract for clan Yinlinsson. Its very existence pressures the other claimants. It is proof that you have links to other Karaks and strength to call. The blood of Grimnir already flows through your veins, and now you can be confident that Valaya blessing will follow your line too. It also proves that you are already planning for Heirs. While some brewing clans may be unhappy in the short term, the competition will drive them to succeed. A dwarf with a mouthful of good beer is a productive dwarf. And this beer impressed Valaya herself. Of course, you could wait till you Held the throne. That would increase your standing and significantly reduce the bride price...

Scouting tip. Location of a Ghorgon and its beastman heard. While it will give you significant prestige to slay one, they are dangerous beasts. Perhaps leaking the location to one of your rivals might result in them having an accident…

//\\--//\\​

Grudges

Level 2. Thorri Rorisson. For the installation of machines tested for only 200 years, disruption of your mining progress, the blocking of an ore load of estimates to be valued at minimum 2700 gold coins, disruption of smelters schedule costing you 1300 gold and going behind your back and getting this mess approved after you denied him. The only punishment acceptable is exile.


Current Clan Leanings

Spoiler: Current Clan Leanings

Grim Gurnisson is ahead with 8. Burlok Thagrimsson and Dargo Sorensson command 6 each. Thorri Rorisson only has 5 listening to him

25 clans in total

Major clan support round 2

You currently have:

3 of 6 mining clans
0 of 4 merchant clans
0 of 5 warrior clans
2 of 4 Smith clans
1 of 4 craft clans

//\\--//\\

You have 5 actions and 26000 gold.

//\\--//\\​

Gambit

[ ] Bait. Arrange for Grim Gurnisson to receive the scouting report. While he may earn glory slaying the beasts, he is just as likely to be slain himself. If he succeeds, he will have all but claimed the kingship. If he fails, this will present you with a weakened beastman heard and a grudge to be resolved that will resonate with the population. Either Instant Win or Loss Cost: 2 actions. DC 50

[ ] Slay them Yourself. While you are no seasoned campaigner, you can swing a pick. You can plan, you know the territory, and you have a hidden exit where you can sneak two companies of recently decommissioned siege weapons to create a killing field. After you kill a heard of beastmen you can investigate that seam of Gromril. You lack experienced troops and a good excuse for not passing it onto Grim Gurnisson, but Success covers all sorts of Sins. ??? Cost: 2 actions. DC 30

[ ] Nothing for now. Hunting and slaying a beastman heard followed by finding a seam of Gromril sounds like a good thing to unify the hold after your ascension to the throne. Leave it till then and hope the beastman heard is not found by others, wanders off or grows bigger.
Low risk. Cost: 0 actions. DC 10

//\\--//\\​

[ ] *New* Get married. Certain changes to your living quarters and lifestyle will have to be made and prices paid. However you will gain a lovely wife, An unbeatable beer recipe, links to Karaz-a-Karak. and more importantly, an unswayable clan. Cost: 20000 Gold, 1 action. Gain a wife. Beer and a Craft or Warrior Clan that supports you. Gain an additional 1d2 Warrior or Craft Clan support. (Complete Gambit Get married)

[ ] *New* Wait. Continue the negotiations. A marriage may be just what you need to unite Karak Kadrin after you Ascend to the throne. It will also reduce the bride price significantly.
Cost: 0 actions.

[ ] *New* Evidence Use It. (May not be taken with Evidence lose it.) Let Jorri Klausson know you have Proof Thorulf Thorgnyssn attempted to evade proper Tariffs. While you will see the additional tariffs he payed reimbursed from your rival's coffers, he still employed a Tariff dodger. To settle the issue, he will either need to pay higher tolls in the future, acquire a runic item from the Gift Giver for you or both. Breakpoints 20/60/90 (Complete Gambit Target the Merchants) Cost: 1 action.

[ ] *New* Evidence Loose It. (May not be taken with Evidence Use it). It is too risky and likely to backfire. Arrange for the record to be lost and, in the event of you failing to take the throne, there will be no proof you did anything underhanded targeting Jorris caravan. There will be no additional reward either… (Complete Gambit Target the Merchants) Cost: 0 actions.

[ ] Donate to the Temples. Large donations make you seem richer than you might be. It also proves your conservative values. Dwarf Elders like that. Gain a Random Clans support for each 5000 donated Cost: 1 action.

[ ] Announce a policy. Make a ruling that will advantage one group of clans over another. Each clan will roll a DC 75 to see if your words sway them. Each Success will see the clan move either for or away from you. Cost: 500 gold, 1 action and 1 biased decree as King.

[ ] Expand the mines. There is a promising seam on level 15. Investigate it. Cost 2000 Gold 1 actions. Success: Gain an additional 3 Mining or Smith clans support. Failure: Gain 1 Mining or Smith Clans support. DC 30

[ ] Build trade warehouses and subsidise production from your pocket. The merchants will be back as soon as this unpleasantness finishes. Start preparations now. Cost: 1000 Gold 1 actions. Success Gain an additional 3 Merchant, Smith or Craft Clan support. One-off +20000 trade income next turn. DC 40

[ ] Sway Clan with minor promise. Pick an individual clan and attempt to sway them. May be taken multiple times. Cost: 1 actions DC 50

[ ] Reassure Clans already loyal and extract oaths. Lock in your gains. Cost 2 actions DC 20

[ ] Sabotage Efforts. May be taken multiple times. DC 50 to find a Gambit. DC 20 to succeed sabotaging it. Dwarfs are honest and hardworking. Revealing your rivals underhanded dealings or sabotaging them will remind them of proper dwarf behaviour and strengthen your claim to the throne. Cost 1-3 actions 1000/2000/5000 Gold Success: Rival fails their Gambit spectacularly shaming them and removing them from consideration, Greatly increasing your chances of becoming King. + 1 ??? Failure: A grudge is declared. + 1 ???

[ ] Really Sabotage efforts. Dimrond has reassured you that whatever you do to secure the Karak is for the good of all. You have some dwarfs who have sworn absolute loyalty to you. If there is not a Gambit to in progress, they could make one for you to find. Cost 1-3 actions, 500/1000/1500 gold, ??? Success: Rival fails spectacularly shaming them and removing them from consideration, ??? Failure: A grudge is declared. + 1 ???. DC 20

[ ] Throw in the towel. You are not going to win. All that is left to do is Inform the relevant Elders you are withdrawing and soothe ruffled feathers. Cost 3 actions 500 Gold. Gain: Position of steward under the new King (unless it is Thorri Rorisson) Legitimacy and forgiveness for all actions taken, 5 standing with the new King. Lose 1 standing with the hold, ???.

(If Thorri Rorisson becomes King you will pack your bags and leave the hold.)

Remember the other claimants will be taking actions and seeking to take Clan support away from you.

Spoiler: Inspiration and acknowledgements.

I wondered what was happening in Karak Kadrin, so I rolled some real dice. Then I started writing for fun seeing if I could make a story.
It got a bit further than that.

Thanks to @bird yells for the original Omake and @soulcake for the Quest.

If this gets a bonus please give it to Jorri to help him get out of the trouble I got him into.

Edit Grammar and readability