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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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Chapter 447: I'm Done With That
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    • Hazō leaned back in the tub with a sigh and draped a steaming hot washcloth over his eyes. The heat slowly baked into his still-knitting bones, easing some of the pain and relaxing his muscles.

    He had dealt with the immediate problems. The explosive tag that was Yuno had probably been disarmed for now and she knew that there were options on someone to talk to. Mari and Kei would...well, they would keep. He had told them that he loved them, he had offered to help if they wanted it, and now it was their problem. He could let go of that one for now.

    Which, of course, left Akane.

    There had been times in the past when she was disappointed in him, or frustrated with him, or even exasperated with him. There had never been a time when she was this searingly angry. Not even when he gave up her possession of Elemental Mastery. That was nothing compared to the look in her eyes when she stormed off to be with Ino, throwing the mess into his lap.

    And 'stormed off' really was the right phrase. She hadn't actually stomped her feet but it was close. She clearly felt that he had utterly violated the principles of Uplift and revealed himself to be a bad person.

    Which was pretty damn histrionic, if you were being honest. Also, would a clarifying question have hurt? She had simply assumed that Hazō was going to give Haru a slap on the wrist. She had reacted entirely to the way he had phrased it to her, to the fact that he'd used the word 'please' instead of something ridiculously over the top like "I'm going to murderize him for doing a bad thing which is bad and he is bad grr!" Honestly, he was coming to Akane and Noburi for their advice on how to deal with it! All she had to do was tell him "Don't say please, give him a direct command."

    Honestly, that was the way he should have dealt with it. Well, he should have dealt with it three weeks ago when Asuma first mentioned it, but things had been a little busy and he'd honestly forgotten about it until they had already left for the research trip to O'uzu Island. A mistake, sure, but he had gotten on it when he came back. He had gone to Akane and Noburi for advice on what a proper punishment would be and how to make the order. Akane hadn't seen it like that. She had simply popped off right away instead of giving him the to explain, which would have been the reasonable thing to do.

    Or—and maybe this was just a little crazy, but stick with it—maybe she could have checked to make sure she was right? All she had to do was say "Hazō, you sound like you are taking this very lightly and you intend to only give him a slap on the wrist. Is that what you intend? Because it seems like an incredibly important thing to me, something he should be severely punished for." And then they could have talked about it like reasonable people. Hazō could have explained why he was approaching it the way he was and Akane could have corrected him. Hazō could have pointed out that yes, he had forgotten about it because he was busy trying to save the multiverse and, oh yes, he had basically all the injuries and the pain meds were scrambling his head a little bit so could she calm the fuck down?

    And then there was Noburi. That weaselly little traitor. He abandoned Hazō to deal with the fallout alone instead of coming back to ensure that the family stayed together and didn't spin out of control. Noburi loved to talk a big game about how suave and socially skilled he was, but when the chips were down he had run like the little bitch he was. He'd been a coward back in the Swamp and he was a coward today.

    For that matter, where was the rest of the family? Why was Hazō having to deal with all of this alone? Akane had been working hand-in-glove with Haru for weeks on the bank investigation. It never dawned on her to ask where Haru was getting his information? Haru felt he had done nothing wrong, so why would he have lied to her about it? If she had asked "Hey, where did you hear that?" he would have replied "I beat it out of a Yakuza enforcer" and then she could have asked questions like "Hey, speaking of that, why are the Yakuza bodyguarding our people?" and he would have said "Because I told them to do it and then I murdered their subbosses until they did" and this problem wouldn't have been Hazō's problem. And it might not have come to Asuma's attention since Akane could have nipped it in the bud weeks ago.

    But nope, it was Hazō's problem. Everything was Hazō's problem and the clan fell apart the minute he took his eye off it for any reason. And, of course, no one was willing to cut him any slack for it. No one said "Hey, I know you've got a lot on your plate what with the whole 'saving the multiverse' thing and the 'having all the injuries and pain meds' thing, so how about if I step up and take some of the work off your plate?" Oh, and they certainly were not saying "Hey, you screwed up here but I get that it was because you're exhausted and in a lot of pain and juggling too much and I'm going to give you a break and not hold it against you forever."

    In fact, you know what? Fuck this. They wanted to be able to criticize and point fingers at their Clan Head? They could take responsibility for some of the issues.

    Hazō pulled himself out of the tub and rummaged around for writing materials.

    o-o-o-o​

    There was a soft rap on the door. "Lady Akane? Message for you, M'Lady. It's marked urgent."

    Akane swung her feet out of the bed and shrugged into a nightrobe before padding to the door and sliding it open. There was a Yamanaka civilian standing patiently outside, head bowed and message scroll offered on both hands.

    "Thank you, Hisahito," Akane said, nodding politely as she collected the scroll. "I appreciate it."

    Hisahito straightened up so that he could bow again. "Of course, Your Ladyship. With your permission?"

    "Of course. Thank you."

    He clicked his heels together and retreated swiftly. Akane watched him go with an amused tilt to her lips. It was strange having a man old enough to be her father bowing and scraping to her while calling her 'Your Ladyship'.

    Visiting Ino was always weird, but her sweetheart's support was welcome. Akane desperately missed Hazō even though she was furious with him and Ino had listened to her vent and been sympathetic and helped her look at the situation from other angles. In the morning Akane could go back, calmer, and apologize to Hazō for what she had said. She should have given him more of the benefit of the doubt. The two of them would work together and resolve the issue, just like they always did, and things would be okay again. Hazō was a good person. On a normal day he would have handled it correctly, it was just that he was busy saving the multiverse right now, as well as being badly injured. Oh, and wasn't he still taking pain medication? That stuff messed with your head.

    Akane unrolled the scroll, idly wondering who would be messaging her so late in the evening. She skimmed through it, then read it again, her face growing pale as she did. One frozen moment and then she was moving, yanking clothes on with the speed of an experienced soldier and leaving the Yamanaka compound at fully chakra-boosted speed in a straight line that didn't care about intervening hedges or anything else.

    Behind her, the scroll lay on the bed, its urgent content abandoned.


    This is a direct order from your Clan Head: You will attend me in the Gōketsu living room immediately. You may inform the Yamanaka of this message, but upon arrival you are not to communicate with anyone until I give you permission.
    ​

    o-o-o-o​

    The band was launching into another whirling song, the mulled cider in Noburi's hand was warm and rich with spice, and Yuno was smiling as she curled into the arm he held protectively around her shoulders. The gathered ninja were listening raptly to his latest tale, each ready with their own. It was Tall Tales Night at Carahanu's Bar and Uebukakimazeru Ishi wasn't here tonight. Ishi was the hands-down champion at Tall Tales Night despite being a civilian. No one had unseated him in thirty years and he hadn't paid for a drink in that entire time. Tonight was the night that Noburi was going to break that record.

    Suddenly, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find a civilian teenager whom he vaguely recognized. The boy was wearing a Gōketsu crest and holding a scroll marked 'URGENT'.

    "Lord Noburi?" he said. "Sir, there's a message for you."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Lady Gōketsu? Message for you. It's marked urgent."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you, Your Ladyship."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    It was a confused group that found itself seated in the Gōketsu living room. Every ninja member of Clan Gōketsu was present and exchanging confused glances with one another. No one was talking, no one was exchanging hand signs, and no one was passing notes, for all communication had been forbidden.

    Given the strangeness of that order, the changes to the room hardly merited a mention. The furniture had been rearranged, moved away from the hearth and placed in a line so that it all faced the hearth from the same direction instead of encircling it and facing inwards. There was a roaring fire in said hearth, but the furniture had been moved far enough back that the heat didn't really reach and the November chill lay heavy on the room. Fortunately, the couches and chairs had been piled with blankets and seals containing hot water bottles.

    Hazō crutched through the open door and every eye was instantly riveted.

    He crutched closer, stopping between them and the fireplace so that its light was behind him, revealing him only in silhouette. He leaned on the crutches and studied them for a slow five count.

    "This is an official briefing from your Clan Head. You will sit quietly and listen attentively until I am finished. You will not interrupt me. You will not leave this room until given permission."

    There had been no need to specify 'listen attentively'; everyone was focused on him as a sealmaster would look upon an unstable tag. Atomu, Mai, and Reo clearly would have preferred that they were looking upon an unstable tag. Yuno was clutching Noburi's hand and Satsuko's haft with equal intensity, clearly unable to predict what was about to happen and ready to murder if necessary. Akane was fuming, lips compressed into a tight line of assumption.

    "First," Hazō said, "a quick recap of the past year.

    "Back in January I looked at the Pangolin Summoning Scroll and got my brain turned inside out. I don't have an easy way to convey to you just how bad the aftereffects were. Fortunately, the experience was worth it because it gave me insights into sealing that are probably going to literally save the world in the next few months.

    "A few days after that, a sealing failure nearly cost me the love of my life and the teacher who means more to me than words can say.

    "Mid-February, Orochimaru turned my brain inside out again and yanked the estate out from under us. I managed to find us a place to live and keep things together for everyone.

    "Beginning of April, I got threatened by two members of Akatsuki, nearly killed in a duel with a lightning-aspected ninja who caused a sealing failure around me, and then went to the afterlife to rescue him from eternal torture.

    "Skip forward a few months during which nothing of interest happens except for a clan war, some minor political issues, me obtaining the most powerful jutsu in the world for several of you, me burning a ton of political credit to get the koi and barrel seals so we can save Noburi's ass, blah blah blah.

    "In September Hidan showed up, kidnapped me, and forced me to gamble for the lives of a civilian village. I cheated like crazy while playing against a psychotic S-rank murderer and as a result I saved most of the civilians.

    "A couple days later, Cannai tells me to run across the entire continent in order to find the Spider Empress. I do so, spending basically every day running myself into the ground and every night back here to make sure everything is holding together.

    "Partway across the continent I return to the estate for my nightly check-in and discover that there's a run on our bank. Why? Because back in February I invented the Gōketsu scrip as a more portable version of ryō, and also a way to get us some temporary liquidity while we were rebuilding the estate. Mari immediately went off and spent a billion ryō that we didn't have, and then Akane piled up more debt here in Leaf. She dumped the bank run issue on me with no warning but I dealt with it; it was my fault because I am the Clan Head and therefore it is my responsibility to make sure no one else is screwing up. I left her in charge so her actions were my actions, her mistakes were my mistakes.

    "Back on the Seventh Path, we reached the Arachnid Territory and discovered that there is a seal the size of a mountain failing and when, not if, it fails the Seventh Path is going to be destroyed and probably so is the Human Path. I was forced to marry a terrifying spider monster as a legal fiction so that I could get on top of the butte to see this Great Seal. Looking at the Seal crushes my brain even worse than the Pangolin Scroll did and also breaks my entire body. I'm going to be on crutches for months yet and I have a choice between aching pain or a head full of wool from the medication.

    "Somewhere in there, most of the family goes off to Isan to negotiate with a bunch of religious zealots. Mari does a good job handling it, but I'm still involved in an advisory capacity so I'm spending energy on that.

    "No sooner do I look away from that then the people on the mission absolutely lose their minds and end up hating each other. They're practically at knifepoint in the middle of enemy territory and it comes within a whisker of compromising the mission."

    Kei shifted uncomfortably at that. Mari didn't react at all, lounging back with her ankles crossed and her fingers interlaced on her stomach.

    "I get blindsided by this issue and by the fact that the mission is about to fall apart because there's, like, two minutes left until the High Priest is going to make his decision on who to ally with and our opportunity to make it be Leaf is about to be lost. I get asked to come up with a plan to save the day. I'd already offered my best advice but suddenly more is needed, so I dig deep. I pull out all the crazy, half-baked thoughts and run them by Kei, trying to find a way to turn them into something usable. Unfortunately I assumed that her amazing brain would recognize that was what I would doing, or at least that she would give me the benefit of the doubt, so I did not preface the conversation with 'now, Kei, these thoughts are simply half-baked bottom-of-the-barrel things that I had already rejected as being very dangerous and I recognize that they are not usable as is and the only reason I am bringing them up is because you screwed the pooch and blew up the mission when you lost your temper with Mari and I want you to understand that I would never choose to harm you and the only intent here is to try to polish a turd into something usable.' Of course, I didn't say that because I had faith in Kei's intelligence and understanding of who I am. Sadly, Kei either is not as bright as I thought or she doesn't understand me that well, because she assumed that I was being uncaring and deliberately trying to get her killed. She did not offer any benefit of the doubt or talk to me about it, it went smiles to knives in zero seconds flat.

    "Fresh from that unsettling conversation, brain and body still barely functioning, I needed to go to Asuma for a check-in. He told me that while Akane and Haru were investigating the bank run, Haru had been murdering Yakuza in order to turn them into a Gōketsu bodyguard and intelligence service. Asuma did't and doesn't particularly care that Haru is murdering Yakuza, because he fully recognizes that Yakuza are scum who hurt everyone around them, but he did ask me to tell Haru to be more discreet.

    "Parenthetically, it's frustrating that I had to hear this from the Hokage and not from Haru, who had been doing it and not bothering to inform his Clan Head, or from Akane, the Acting Clan Head who had been working hand-in-hand with Haru on the investigation but apparently never asked for his sources.

    "I believe I mentioned the part about the world being in the process of ending as the Great Seal fails, right? Pretty sure I did. Anyway, I'm focused on that so I take a team off to O'uzu island to do research that might help us fix the Seal. I come back to find that the Isan team has returned along with their shitstorm of drama. I make the rounds, telling each of them the truth: I love you and nothing will change that. I will do anything I can to help you, whatever it costs. I offer suggestions as gently as I can, but unsurprisingly they don't help because hey, look, drama! Finally, I have one last conversation and I need help figuring out how exactly to phrase it so I call on Akane and Noburi, my moral compass and my silver-tongued brother respectively. The question is simple: How should I talk to Haru about this whole murdering thing?

    "Now, if I weren't busted to hell and doped up on medium amounts of painkillers I might have remembered to phrase it correctly. I might have said something like 'Akane, Noburi, I have a very important conversation that I need your help planning for. Asuma has informed me that Haru has been murdering Yakuza and I need to tell him to stop. Asuma doesn't particularly care, because he fully recognizes that Yakuza are scum who hurt everyone around them, but I still need to have this conversation. I acknowledge that killing is bad and killing civilians is extremely bad but I find myself ambivalent in this case because Yakuza are scum and my primary responsibility is to the clan, but there are implications for our reputation and for the spirit of Uplift. Furthermore, Haru is as much of a pain in the ass as a cactus you just sat on so I need to be sure to phrase it in a way that will work but not cause other problems and so I have come to you because blah blah blah.

    "I could have said all that. Unfortunately, I did not. I trusted Noburi and Akane to read between the lines and give me the benefit of the doubt, so I was casual about how I said it. Akane sent Noburi to get Haru so she can ream him out with a wire brush. While we wait she turned on me, telling me that I was a terrible person who had violated the principles of Uplift and she was furious with me because I'm bad bad bad and blah blah blah. A bit of charity would have been nice, a bit of patience so that I could straighten it out would have been nice, but alas. She left before I could do any of that so now I have one more mess to clean up. Am I at fault? Yes. I am the Clan Head so if any of you do anything wrong, it is my fault for not catching it. If you are angry with me it means that I made a mistake—either directly or in not managing expectations and communicating correctly.

    "Did I make a mistake by not addressing Haru's murdering immediately when Asuma mentioned it, even though he made clear that it wasn't urgent? Yes. Is it a valid excuse to point out that I was focused on literally saving the world and that therefore it didn't really rate that a few killers and drug-pushers had been murdered in order to ensure safety for the clan? No, it is not. I dropped the ball.

    "So. Yes, all of these things are my fault. All of the mistakes I made in phrasing, and all the mistakes the rest of you made in nearly sinking a critical mission, in murdering civilians, in getting caught murdering civilians...it's all on me. There are reasons for my failures but not excuses, and I fully own that.

    "Am I a bad person who has violated the spirit of Uplift and/or the Will of Fire?"

    He paused, allowing the crackling fire behind him to be the only sound in the room.

    "No, I fucking am not. I have probably done more to make the world better than anyone else of my generation in the entire fucking world. I co-invented skywalkers, which made Leaf the most powerful village in the world and earned the Gōketsu a place as a voting clan. I inspired Jiraiya to create the till'n'fill, which improved the lives of hundreds if not thousands of civilians. I pointed Jiraiya at Team Bloodrage, a critical link in the chain that led to stopping Akatsuki from destroying the world. I derailed Zabuza before he said something that started World War IV, and I took a pounding and was publicly humiliated for doing it. Then came the Collapse, after which I was the only person who acted to protect the civilian population. I convinced Ebisu and Asuma to start providing better training to clanless ninja, which is already improving their survival rates. I created the storage seal bank, which is reducing food costs and amount of starvation. I've raised walls around villages, paid recompense for things that weren't my fault, and led others to the path of Uplift. Overall, I'm pretty happy with my performance for this past year. Yes, I've made some colossal screwups, but I would say that my successes more than make up for them."

    Another pause, another drawn-out silence. People shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, unsure of where this was going.

    "Now, it has come to my attention that I'm prioritizing badly and it's leading to me dropping the ball. I should have been focused on, you know, saving the world but instead I've been trying to do everything and help everyone. I've gotten shit for charity and my least mistake has been treated as betrayal. Each time that happens I have one more thing to juggle, one more distraction from saving the world. I'm done with that."

    He tossed a sheet of parchment on the table. Everyone craned their neck to read it; eyes immediately went wide.


    I, Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, being of sound mind and body, place the full weight of my authority upon the following order:

    Given that it is necessary for me to devote my full efforts to a research project of utmost importance, and given that I cannot give full attention both to that research and to my duties as Clan Head, the undersigned individual or individuals have full authority as Acting Clan Head(s) for Clan Gōketsu from this day until January 31, 1070. They shall be restricted by the laws of Leaf, the will and command of the Hokage, the spirit of Uplift and of the Will of Fire, and by the following specific commands:

    • No Gōketsu may give me orders or in any way bind, compel, or constrain my actions or access to resources.
    • Gōketsu Kagome may enter my presence at will and without invitation. No other Gōketsu shall seek me out, disturb me, message me, or in any way interrupt my research or distract me from it.


    Where those restrictions do not apply, the undersigned may act as they wish. They may bind the clan to alliances or public debts. They may acquire and dispose of property. They may punish, execute, or banish clan members. They may give away clan secrets with or without recompense. They may take any action that they feel is to the benefit of the Gōketsu.

    Until the term of this document expires I shall be taking no actions with regards to clan business except on direct order from the Hokage. I have complete faith in my clan members and trust that they will uphold the honor of the Gōketsu while I lack the time to do so in person.

    This is by my order and under my authority,

    Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, temporarily in absentia.

    ​
    "Figure out who's going to sign it," Hazō said. "The first person to sign it can tell everyone that it's okay to talk again."

    He turned and crutched his way out of the room without another word.




    XP AWARD: 4

    Brevity XP: 1

    It is now about 10pm.

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, July 14, 2021, at 12pm London time.
     
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    • Chapter 448: HOWS It Going?
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    • "Good morning, Hazō," Asuma said, his tone making clear that he was expecting treason.

    "Good morning, sir." Hazō carefully lowered himself into his chair, using chakra repulsion against the armrests to slow his descent. He propped the crutches up beside him and took a moment to be certain that his legs were arranged in a way that wouldn't put sideways pressure on the splints and the healing bones beneath.

    "How are you feeling?"

    "Better, sir. The splints are really just a precaution at this point. It's still painful to walk without the crutches for more than a few dozen steps but I can do it if I have to."

    "Good news. What have you got for me?"

    "The sealsmiths have finished producing what should be enough Harumitsu's Outstanding World-Saving Seals"—he smiled at the name—"to do the job."

    "'Harumitsu's Outstanding World-Saving Seal'," Asuma mused. "HOWS that for a name?"

    Hazō groaned.

    "Not many apprentices get seals named for them. HOWS Harumitsu reacting to it?" Asuma continued, his eyes twinkling.

    "Sir, I'm not sure you're allowed to tell dad jokes until you're a dad," Hazō said.

    "HOWSoever not?"

    "Argh. Yes, Lord Hokage. Very droll, sir."

    Asuma snorted. "So, what's the plan?"

    "After we finish here I'm going to go collect the HOWS seals. These evening, when it's dark on the Seventh Path, I'll reverse-summon to the Seventh Path. I will meet up with Kumokōgō who will take me to the Great Seal where I will emplace the HOWS in order to slow down its degradation. It has to be me, unfortunately. The only people who are allowed up to the Great Seal are me and Kumokōgō, and she can't activate seals."

    "Might be worth teaching her."

    "The thought had occurred, sir."

    "Hah. Yes, well, still worth mentioning. Granted, I'm not sure you have time to sit around doing chakra work with her. Have you figured out what you're going to say to Akane yet?"

    Hazō looked at his commander with dismay. "How do you know about that, sir?"

    "Hazō, half the village knows that you and your girlfriend had a spat. She went stomping out the gates of the Gōketsu estate and made a beeline for the Yamanaka estate with a near-visible thunderstorm crackling around her. Shoot, some reports suggest that she was actually leaking a little bit of killing intent, which isn't something I've heard of from her before now."

    "Okay, but whatever made her angry didn't have to be about me," Hazō argued. "Maybe it was something else."

    "If it had been something else then she would have gone to you, her boyfriend and Clan Head, instead of to the woman she's having an inappropriate and scandalous affair with."

    "She's not! It's not a—"

    Asuma held up a hand. "I know that, you know that, Akane and Ino and probably everyone in both your clans know that. The common folk don't."

    "...Oh, Sage." Hazō buried his face in his hands, much to Asuma's amusement.

    "Don't worry about it. The Gōketsu have a good reputation among the common folk. Your ninja have far fewer incidents with civilians than any other clan and you've made demonstrable improvements in their lives. They're happy to wag their tongues and shake their fingers while also smiling behind their hands and wishing you all the best." He shrugged. "Also, the legends are amazing. Akane is cheating on you with Ino, you're cheating on Akane with Ino, you and Ino are preparing a marriage, or perhaps already married, with the intent to absorb the Yamanaka into the Gōketsu and Akane is your concubine. Ino is pregnant with your child but Akane has agreed to carry the child and so Lady Tsunade is going to teleport it from Ino's body to Akane's. You are pregnant due to a sealing mishap and Lady Tsunade is going to transfer it to Ino. It gets better. I can show you the compiled report, if you like?"

    "No thank you, sir. That won't be necessary." Ugh. That was just about the last thing he needed. Noburi was going to mock him endlessly.

    "Anyway, going back to my earlier question, how are things with you and Akane? Last night she stomps off, this morning you're here at late breakfast, which I assume means you're giving her time to eat and calm down before you go to talk to her. Have you figured out what you're going to say?"

    ~~

    Hours earlier...

    Hazō set aside the daydream and pulled himself out of the tub. It was a very attractive fantasy, calling everyone in and ordering them to sit silently while Hazō vented his frustration at them and then threw down his temporary resignation as Clan Head. Unfortunately, it was just that: A fantasy. Sure, there was an argument to be made that his most important task right now was to literally save the world from rampaging monsters so he should be delegating all of the day-to-day work of running the clan while he went and lived at the seal research facility 24/7. Unfortunately, he simply couldn't do it. It felt too much like running away. He could delegate more, but he couldn't give up the ultimate responsibility. He had accepted the job and passing it off would be an abdication of who he was. Instead of abdicating he needed to prioritize.

    Right now, the priority was mending things with Akane. He couldn't afford a split in the clan, especially not with his moral compass and most reliable Acting Clan Head. How exactly to fix that...aye, there was the rub.

    He toweled his legs off carefully and then re-wrapped them in the splints; Lady Tsunade had threatened to break his everything again if he didn't keep the splints on except for bathing. He was...reasonably sure that she was being hyperbolic but it seemed unwise to test her.

    Patch things up with Akane...update Asuma on the Great Seal issues...pick up the HOWS seals, then go back to the Seventh Path and emplace them, hopefully not dying in the process. At some point in there he would need to deal with Haru.

    Yeah, today was going to suck.

    Well, nothing to do but do it.

    He pulled his pants on over the splints (no ninja wanted to advertise a vulnerability), picked up the crutches, and headed downstairs. He would have a quick bite of something so that he wasn't hungry and grumpy during a stressful conversation. Then he would talk to Asuma about what was coming up with HOWS. Hopefully that would give Akane time to eat something and calm down herself. After talking to Asuma...well, then Hazō would man up and go talk to the love of his life.

    ~~

    Now...

    "It's complicated, sir," Hazō said. "I'm going to speak to her after we finish here. I'd prefer not to go into it, if you don't mind...?"

    Asuma waved the idea away. "It's fine. Your love life is your business. Pardon the prurient interest."

    Hazō debated keeping his mouth shut but simply couldn't resist. "Speaking of love lives, how is Captain Yūhi?"

    The ruler of the greatest nation on the planet pinked up like a teenage boy. "She and all of my other senior officers are doing fine. Thank you for asking."

    "Have you had the opportunity to debrief with her recently, sir?"

    Asuma gave him a stern look. "Are you sure you want to go down this road with me, Hazō? You're still on thin ice after all the treason."

    Hazō immediately recognized that 'which treason?' probably was not the right thing to say, which he considered a sign of considerable political growth. "I'm fine, sir."

    "Good. Okay, things are...if not dealt with then at least progressing with getting your clan affairs in order. You'll be emplacing HOWS later today so hopefully the end of the world will be delayed at least a bit. I'm assuming that Kumokōgō has arranged a distraction so you can get up there?"

    "Yes, sir. It's another suicide mission by a lot of hornets and scorpions. Fortunately it won't take long. I only need to be up there for a few minutes and then I can unsummon away. Kumokōgō will carry me to the top and then skitter for it so she's at minimal risk."

    "Good to know. Losing an ally of her power would be bad, as would leaving the Arachnids with a power vacuum. Any idea what their process is for choosing a new leader?"

    "No sir, but I could ask."

    Asuma shrugged. "Not critical, since we aren't going to have a say in it. Just academic interest. Anything else on your plate today aside from the important and no doubt exhausting conversation with a furious love interest and now off to save the world at tremendous risk to yourself?"

    "Actually, this won't save the world," Hazō said pedantically. "It will simply delay the—"

    "Yes, yes. Spare me the sealmaster answer. I used to get enough of that from Jiraiya." He saw the pang of grief and his face sobered. "Sorry."

    "It's fine, sir. He'll be—" He barely caught himself before saying 'back, because I'm working on resurrection' and managed to finish safely with "—remembered as the hero he was."

    "Indeed. Well, if there's nothing else...?" He gestured meaningfully to the piles of paper on his desk.

    "No sir. Thank you, sir." Hazō levered himself to his feet, picked up his crutches, and limped away.

    o-o-o-o​

    "Greetings, Summoner."

    "And to you, Empress. Are we ready?"

    "We are. Litter prepared is."

    Hazō blushed. "Thank you. I'm sorry for the need. I can't...I should be able to do this, but I can't." Being carried into battle, his teammates' lives endangered because they were loaded down with him and unable to dodge an attack? Was there a greater shame for a ninja?

    Well, yes. There was. Failing or refusing the mission due to cowardice. If this was what it took then he would submit to being carried like an infant.

    "Having understanding I do. Battle wounds no shame are among the Arachnids. Think less of humans I would if wounds moral failings are."

    "...Thank you, ma'am."

    "Are wounds moral failings considered?"

    "No, ma'am. Battle wounds are respected." Best not go into the nuances of wounds being shameful if acquired through stupidity. Or the shame of incapacity, of becoming a leech on those around you.

    "Well that to hear is. Come. Encase yourself."

    Two massive spiders, nearly as large as the Empress, skittered up. The spiders could accelerate as fast or faster than a ninja and stop on a ryō; watching them move towards you was always alarming since it was the way ninja moved in battle. Hazō found himself automatically shifting into a combat stance every time one of the Empress's courtiers approached. He made a strong effort to control the reaction but couldn't entirely suppress it.

    A silk hammock hung suspended between the two spiders, the support lines held in their sawtoothed chelicerae. Hazō hoped they didn't bite down too hard during the run or they would sever the lines and he would hit the ground hard.

    "Padding added was," Kumokōgō said helpfully. "Comfortable should you be. Rest. Sleep can. Two hours to Seal."

    "Thank you, ma'am." Hazō climbed awkwardly into the hammock and arranged his crutches beside him on the pillows. "You understand that I will be unsummoning myself immediately after I've emplaced the seals, right? Once I'm on top of the butte, all of you should retreat immediately. I'll wait an hour and then return to check in briefly, after which I will need to return home again. There are things there that I need to take care of in my role as Clan Head."

    "Understanding happened has. Come. We run!"

    'Run' was a strong word by ninja standards. It was more like 'jog' at best, at least over distances such as these. Still, it was far better than Hazō could do on his crutches. On the prior visit he had exhausted his chakra reserves on the beginnings of a tunnel, but without Noburi's help he didn't have the strength for more than a short distance. Over multiple visits he would eventually create an underground highway enabling the arachnids to approach much closer to the butte while maintaining cover from enemies flying above. To tunnel across fifty or sixty miles, which was the plan, would be the work of far, far longer than they could afford to wait. Still, it was good to get started, since it looked like they were going to have to make semi-regular visits.

    Regardless, that was all last visit and next visit. This visit he was keeping his chakra as full as possible.

    The approach went smoothly and the team reached the base of the butte with no issue; the raid had been timed for just after sundown and the sacrificial hornets and scorpions had already drawn the Dragons off.

    His bearers lowered Hazō gently to the ground. He struggled out of the hammock and silently draped himself over Kumokōgō's abdomen. She was so enormous that he couldn't reach all the way around, so a silk harness had been sprayed on so that he had something to grab onto. One of the attendants tied his crutches on and then skittered back, pivoted in place, and raced off without a word.

    The empress reached one long, hairy leg up and tapped it twice on the butte's pale rose-colored sandstone wall. Hazō checked to make sure that his backpack was tightly strapped on, then wound his hands into the harness tightly and used his chin to tap twice on her abdomen.

    Kumokōgō walked herself slowly upright, pulling herself onto the wall with the hands of her front two legs and then the pads of each foot in turn. Hazō toes dragged slightly on the ground as she did; Hazō winced and picked them up, ignoring the twinge as he did so. His crutches shifted slightly, tapping against the spider's side, and she paused. Hazō tapped twice to indicate that he was secure and ready to move.

    The Empress moved.

    She accelerated like a ninja, zipping up the cliff face in a burst of motion, each hand or foot effortlessly and unerringly finding a handhold or even simply adhering to the stone. Hazō wasn't sure if it was chakra, stickiness, stone-piercing claws, or some other method that he'd never imagined. Whatever it was, it worked. He clung tight, his legs dangling free and all his weight on his shoulders. He clenched tight, feeling the joints strain, and cycled chakra through bone and muscle in order to take the load.

    They were to the top in seconds, Kumokōgō slowing down and pulling herself awkwardly over the top. She moved forward a few yards and lowered herself to the ground so that Hazō could slip off. Two quick tugs released his crutches; Kumokōgō spun in place so she could stroke a hairy hand down his arm in good wishes. Hazō struggled not to flinch at having those massive, terrifyingly sawtoothed jaws mere inches away. He could feel her hot, moist breath on his face and the bristles on her arm scraped across his skin like a wire brush, leaving thin red lines behind.

    The Iron Nerve locked a smile on his face and confidence in his body as he forced himself to reach up and clasp her arm. He nodded firmly and stepped back.



    {{{RRR#A@AA$$AR%%RRG!!G.G2GH^fHH*HHH!}}}​

    There were no words for the sound. It wasn't a howl, or a scream, or a roar, or any noise that could come from the throat of a creature of the Human Path. It was primal fear encoded into sound.

    Hazō's chakra flickered inside him, shivering within his coils as instincts far more ancient than humanity or chakra clenched tight around his soul.

    Kumokōgō stumbled to the side, a thing nearly impossible for a creature with eight legs. She turned it into coordinated motion, rushing sideways and pivoting, then accelerated to the edge of the butte and leaped out into space, all eight legs flaring to widen her profile and draw the attention of the ravening creature above. A line of silk shut from her rear as she went over, anchoring to the stone and unwinding as she fell out of sight.

    "Earth Element: Hiding Like a Mole Technique!" Hazō formed the handseals and stone became liquid beneath his feet, dropping him below the surface just ahead of the fire that melted the ground where he had been standing.

    Safe for the moment, he paused to assess his state. And then he stopped assessing and swam hastily deeper and to the side because the rock around him was heating up enough to pull sweat from his skin.

    The Iron Nerve had a perfect memory of the Great Seal and Hazō remembered approximately where he had been standing and which way he had been facing. With those things combined he was able to navigate to a squinch, the negative space between two curving parts of the Seal. The moon was behind the Seal from this angle, throwing this spot into wolf's-mouth shadow.

    He came up in the wrong place, at least four yards from where he wanted to be. He stuck his head up, saw his mistake, and ducked back down. He swam to the left and broke the surface carefully, tipping his head back so that his face came up first, just barely far enough that he could exhale carefully and pull in a fresh lungful of air in case he needed to duck down again.

    He was in the right place, so he continued to rise up until his chin was aboveground. He looked around slowly. The clouds had shifted, leaving the moon to drench the surface of the butte in unobstructed molten silver. The shadows shifted on the surface in ways that they shouldn't have, in ways they couldn't have unless there was something up here with Hazō. Something !mm3nse, @nd s!inuous, and #^ no he would not think of it. He would not allow himself to be pulled in. Remember Akane's arms around him from before the fight, the scent of her hair and her sweat when they grappled during sparring, lithe muscles pushing and striking as he dodged and wove.

    The ground around Hazō twitched. Chakra had decided that too much of him was above the surface for the Hiding Like a Mole technique to continue. In a few seconds the stone would resolidify and he would be entombed. He pulled himself up as quickly as he could, staying low and stretched out even as he made sure that all of him was above the surface.

    The shadow$ sh!fted and th3re was A sn0r7. Hazō froze, the Iron Nerve the only thing that prevented him from trembling and giving himself away.

    He could feel the weight of his injuries dragging at him, his damaged psyche shivering on the edge of another fracture that would leave him screaming and broken, unaaable to re51s7 @$ the MoNst...no. No! Focus!

    He rolled to his side, focusing on the rough texture of the canvas beneath his fingers as he tugged the straps on his pack loose and pulled out the twin stacks of seals.

    Something shifted, claws scraping on stone. There was a shriek from far away, something monstrous #@nd F#R B^y0N. an#T-ing— Akane's scen., the f33l of her ha.r under his iiingers and 7he confident thump of her heart against his chest as he hugged her close.

    "Earth Element: Hiding Like a Mole Technique," he said as softly as [the thing that was up here with him huffed] he could maanage wwwhile still maggi! his chakra do what he demanded of it.

    He tossed the backpack to the side as a distraction, keeping a firm grip on the seals as he slid back into the ground and swam away. Impact tremors washed over him as Something pounced where he had just been. The rock tore above him, more tremors knocking him around as he dove.

    He crossed the center line of the Seal, intending—his fingers cracked against a smooth surface that refused to allow him passage.

    Hazō paused, the pressure of air slowly seeping away from his lungs reminding him that he didn't have long, especially not when his body was so amped up. He had a choice. He could swim left or right, or he could dive down and try to go under the barrier of the Seal. The only problem was that he didn't know how deep it went.

    There was a spiral to his left that would make a good hiding spot, and a perfect spot to emplace HOWS. He turned that way and swam forward with one hand and kicks of his legs, keeping his left fist extended in front of himself.

    Soon enough he bonked into more of that impassable stone that was the Great Seal. He felt his way along until he came to the end, then around it. He followed the curve until he was confident that he was inside the spiral and obstructed from view by anything that wasn't looking almost directly down. This part of the earth had been melted at some time in the past, the lava dripping away and leaving him hiding within a two-foot spiral ridge with gaps barely wide enough for his head.

    His ears were ringing, blood thundering in his ears—no! No, that was a real sound! A buzzing...the buzzing of hornets, dozens of them!

    {{{HA&#ZaRR*###R^GGG-!!!}}}​

    Wind and dust and jagged bits of sandstone blasted over him, scattered by the force of massive wings. Hazō pressed his eyes shut so tight they hurt and dropped back below the surface of the earth. He stayed there, blood pounding in his ears, until his lungs were burning and heaving with the need to breathe. Even then he came up carefully, struggling not to heave in a enormous and noisy gulp of air no matter how much his body demanded it.

    He waited, panting silently, as his body calmed itself and his chakra smoothed out. The oppressive feeling of the creature was gone and there was no shifting or scratching of claws on rock, so he took a chance and stuck his head up just far enough that he could look around.

    The butte was empty aside from himself and the incipient cataclysm that was the Great Seal.

    With a sigh of relief, Hazō pulled himself fully aboveground and hurried to emplace the four hundred and sixteen copies of Harumitsu's Outstanding World-saving Seal that would hopefully do exactly what its name suggested. His crutches had been vaporized when the Dragon's breath melted the rock where he had been standing, so he had no choice but to limp and do his best to ignore the stabbing pain of splintered, half-healed bones protesting against bearing his weight.

    Only when the job was done, the seals spread across the entire surface of the butte, each one active and covered so that no glimmer of light could escape, only then did Hazō make the handseal of release that sent him back to the Human Path.




    XP AWARD: 4

    Brevity XP: 1

    It is now about 10pm.

    Voting remains closed. @Velorien will write the conversation with Akane and reopen voting when he posts.
     
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    • eaglejarl said:

    Hazō leaned back in the tub with a sigh and draped a steaming hot washcloth over his eyes. The heat slowly baked into his still-knitting bones, easing some of the pain and relaxing his muscles.

    He had dealt with the immediate problems. The explosive tag that was Yuno had probably been disarmed for now and she knew that there were options on someone to talk to. Mari and Kei would...well, they would keep. He had told them that he loved them, he had offered to help if they wanted it, and now it was their problem. He could let go of that one for now.

    Which, of course, left Akane.

    There had been times in the past when she was disappointed in him, or frustrated with him, or even exasperated with him. There had never been a time when she was this searingly angry. Not even when he gave up her possession of Elemental Mastery. That was nothing compared to the look in her eyes when she stormed off to be with Ino, throwing the mess into his lap.

    And 'stormed off' really was the right phrase. She hadn't actually stomped her feet but it was close. She clearly felt that he had utterly violated the principles of Uplift and revealed himself to be a bad person.

    Which was pretty damn histrionic, if you were being honest. Also, would a clarifying question have hurt? She had simply assumed that Hazō was going to give Haru a slap on the wrist. She had reacted entirely to the way he had phrased it to her, to the fact that he'd used the word 'please' instead of something ridiculously over the top like "I'm going to murderize him for doing a bad thing which is bad and he is bad grr!" Honestly, he was coming to Akane and Noburi for their advice on how to deal with it! All she had to do was tell him "Don't say please, give him a direct command."

    Honestly, that was the way he should have dealt with it. Well, he should have dealt with it three weeks ago when Asuma first mentioned it, but things had been a little busy and he'd honestly forgotten about it until they had already left for the research trip to O'uzu Island. A mistake, sure, but he had gotten on it when he came back. He had gone to Akane and Noburi for advice on what a proper punishment would be and how to make the order. Akane hadn't seen it like that. She had simply popped off right away instead of giving him the to explain, which would have been the reasonable thing to do.

    Or—and maybe this was just a little crazy, but stick with it—maybe she could have checked to make sure she was right? All she had to do was say "Hazō, you sound like you are taking this very lightly and you intend to only give him a slap on the wrist. Is that what you intend? Because it seems like an incredibly important thing to me, something he should be severely punished for." And then they could have talked about it like reasonable people. Hazō could have explained why he was approaching it the way he was and Akane could have corrected him. Hazō could have pointed out that yes, he had forgotten about it because he was busy trying to save the multiverse and, oh yes, he had basically all the injuries and the pain meds were scrambling his head a little bit so could she calm the fuck down?

    And then there was Noburi. That weaselly little traitor. He abandoned Hazō to deal with the fallout alone instead of coming back to ensure that the family stayed together and didn't spin out of control. Noburi loved to talk a big game about how suave and socially skilled he was, but when the chips were down he had run like the little bitch he was. He'd been a coward back in the Swamp and he was a coward today.

    For that matter, where was the rest of the family? Why was Hazō having to deal with all of this alone? Akane had been working hand-in-glove with Haru for weeks on the bank investigation. It never dawned on her to ask where Haru was getting his information? Haru felt he had done nothing wrong, so why would he have lied to her about it? If she had asked "Hey, where did you hear that?" he would have replied "I beat it out of a Yakuza enforcer" and then she could have asked questions like "Hey, speaking of that, why are the Yakuza bodyguarding our people?" and he would have said "Because I told them to do it and then I murdered their subbosses until they did" and this problem wouldn't have been Hazō's problem. And it might not have come to Asuma's attention since Akane could have nipped it in the bud weeks ago.

    But nope, it was Hazō's problem. Everything was Hazō's problem and the clan fell apart the minute he took his eye off it for any reason. And, of course, no one was willing to cut him any slack for it. No one said "Hey, I know you've got a lot on your plate what with the whole 'saving the multiverse' thing and the 'having all the injuries and pain meds' thing, so how about if I step up and take some of the work off your plate?" Oh, and they certainly were not saying "Hey, you screwed up here but I get that it was because you're exhausted and in a lot of pain and juggling too much and I'm going to give you a break and not hold it against you forever."

    In fact, you know what? Fuck this. They wanted to be able to criticize and point fingers at their Clan Head? They could take responsibility for some of the issues.

    Hazō pulled himself out of the tub and rummaged around for writing materials.

    o-o-o-o​

    There was a soft rap on the door. "Lady Akane? Message for you, M'Lady. It's marked urgent."

    Akane swung her feet out of the bed and shrugged into a nightrobe before padding to the door and sliding it open. There was a Yamanaka civilian standing patiently outside, head bowed and message scroll offered on both hands.

    "Thank you, Hisahito," Akane said, nodding politely as she collected the scroll. "I appreciate it."

    Hisahito straightened up so that he could bow again. "Of course, Your Ladyship. With your permission?"

    "Of course. Thank you."

    He clicked his heels together and retreated swiftly. Akane watched him go with an amused tilt to her lips. It was strange having a man old enough to be her father bowing and scraping to her while calling her 'Your Ladyship'.

    Visiting Ino was always weird, but her sweetheart's support was welcome. Akane desperately missed Hazō even though she was furious with him and Ino had listened to her vent and been sympathetic and helped her look at the situation from other angles. In the morning Akane could go back, calmer, and apologize to Hazō for what she had said. She should have given him more of the benefit of the doubt. The two of them would work together and resolve the issue, just like they always did, and things would be okay again. Hazō was a good person. On a normal day he would have handled it correctly, it was just that he was busy saving the multiverse right now, as well as being badly injured. Oh, and wasn't he still taking pain medication? That stuff messed with your head.

    Akane unrolled the scroll, idly wondering who would be messaging her so late in the evening. She skimmed through it, then read it again, her face growing pale as she did. One frozen moment and then she was moving, yanking clothes on with the speed of an experienced soldier and leaving the Yamanaka compound at fully chakra-boosted speed in a straight line that didn't care about intervening hedges or anything else.

    Behind her, the scroll lay on the bed, its urgent content abandoned.

    ​
    This is a direct order from your Clan Head: You will attend me in the Gōketsu living room immediately. You may inform the Yamanaka of this message, but upon arrival you are not to communicate with anyone until I give you permission.​
    ​

    o-o-o-o​

    The band was launching into another whirling song, the mulled cider in Noburi's hand was warm and rich with spice, and Yuno was smiling as she curled into the arm he held protectively around her shoulders. The gathered ninja were listening raptly to his latest tale, each ready with their own. It was Tall Tales Night at Carahanu's Bar and Uebukakimazeru Ishi wasn't here tonight. Ishi was the hands-down champion at Tall Tales Night despite being a civilian. No one had unseated him in thirty years and he hadn't paid for a drink in that entire time. Tonight was the night that Noburi was going to break that record.

    Suddenly, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find a civilian teenager whom he vaguely recognized. The boy was wearing a Gōketsu crest and holding a scroll marked 'URGENT'.

    "Lord Noburi?" he said. "Sir, there's a message for you."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Lady Gōketsu? Message for you. It's marked urgent."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you, Your Ladyship."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    It was a confused group that found itself seated in the Gōketsu living room. Every ninja member of Clan Gōketsu was present and exchanging confused glances with one another. No one was talking, no one was exchanging hand signs, and no one was passing notes, for all communication had been forbidden.

    Given the strangeness of that order, the changes to the room hardly merited a mention. The furniture had been rearranged, moved away from the hearth and placed in a line so that it all faced the hearth from the same direction instead of encircling it and facing inwards. There was a roaring fire in said hearth, but the furniture had been moved far enough back that the heat didn't really reach and the November chill lay heavy on the room. Fortunately, the couches and chairs had been piled with blankets and seals containing hot water bottles.

    Hazō crutched through the open door and every eye was instantly riveted.

    He crutched closer, stopping between them and the fireplace so that its light was behind him, revealing him only in silhouette. He leaned on the crutches and studied them for a slow five count.

    "This is an official briefing from your Clan Head. You will sit quietly and listen attentively until I am finished. You will not interrupt me. You will not leave this room until given permission."

    There had been no need to specify 'listen attentively'; everyone was focused on him as a sealmaster would look upon an unstable tag. Atomu, Mai, and Reo clearly would have preferred that they were looking upon an unstable tag. Yuno was clutching Noburi's hand and Satsuko's haft with equal intensity, clearly unable to predict what was about to happen and ready to murder if necessary. Akane was fuming, lips compressed into a tight line of assumption.

    "First," Hazō said, "a quick recap of the past year.

    "Back in January I looked at the Pangolin Summoning Scroll and got my brain turned inside out. I don't have an easy way to convey to you just how bad the aftereffects were. Fortunately, the experience was worth it because it gave me insights into sealing that are probably going to literally save the world in the next few months.

    "A few days after that, a sealing failure nearly cost me the love of my life and the teacher who means more to me than words can say.

    "Mid-February, Orochimaru turned my brain inside out again and yanked the estate out from under us. I managed to find us a place to live and keep things together for everyone.

    "Beginning of April, I got threatened by two members of Akatsuki, nearly killed in a duel with a lightning-aspected ninja who caused a sealing failure around me, and then went to the afterlife to rescue him from eternal torture.

    "Skip forward a few months during which nothing of interest happens except for a clan war, some minor political issues, me obtaining the most powerful jutsu in the world for several of you, me burning a ton of political credit to get the koi and barrel seals so we can save Noburi's ass, blah blah blah.

    "In September Hidan showed up, kidnapped me, and forced me to gamble for the lives of a civilian village. I cheated like crazy while playing against a psychotic S-rank murderer and as a result I saved most of the civilians.

    "A couple days later, Cannai tells me to run across the entire continent in order to find the Spider Empress. I do so, spending basically every day running myself into the ground and every night back here to make sure everything is holding together.

    "Partway across the continent I return to the estate for my nightly check-in and discover that there's a run on our bank. Why? Because back in February I invented the Gōketsu scrip as a more portable version of ryō, and also a way to get us some temporary liquidity while we were rebuilding the estate. Mari immediately went off and spent a billion ryō that we didn't have, and then Akane piled up more debt here in Leaf. She dumped the bank run issue on me with no warning but I dealt with it; it was my fault because I am the Clan Head and therefore it is my responsibility to make sure no one else is screwing up. I left her in charge so her actions were my actions, her mistakes were my mistakes.

    "Back on the Seventh Path, we reached the Arachnid Territory and discovered that there is a seal the size of a mountain failing and when, not if, it fails the Seventh Path is going to be destroyed and probably so is the Human Path. I was forced to marry a terrifying spider monster as a legal fiction so that I could get on top of the butte to see this Great Seal. Looking at the Seal crushes my brain even worse than the Pangolin Scroll did and also breaks my entire body. I'm going to be on crutches for months yet and I have a choice between aching pain or a head full of wool from the medication.

    "Somewhere in there, most of the family goes off to Isan to negotiate with a bunch of religious zealots. Mari does a good job handling it, but I'm still involved in an advisory capacity so I'm spending energy on that.

    "No sooner do I look away from that then the people on the mission absolutely lose their minds and end up hating each other. They're practically at knifepoint in the middle of enemy territory and it comes within a whisker of compromising the mission."

    Kei shifted uncomfortably at that. Mari didn't react at all, lounging back with her ankles crossed and her fingers interlaced on her stomach.

    "I get blindsided by this issue and by the fact that the mission is about to fall apart because there's, like, two minutes left until the High Priest is going to make his decision on who to ally with and our opportunity to make it be Leaf is about to be lost. I get asked to come up with a plan to save the day. I'd already offered my best advice but suddenly more is needed, so I dig deep. I pull out all the crazy, half-baked thoughts and run them by Kei, trying to find a way to turn them into something usable. Unfortunately I assumed that her amazing brain would recognize that was what I would doing, or at least that she would give me the benefit of the doubt, so I did not preface the conversation with 'now, Kei, these thoughts are simply half-baked bottom-of-the-barrel things that I had already rejected as being very dangerous and I recognize that they are not usable as is and the only reason I am bringing them up is because you screwed the pooch and blew up the mission when you lost your temper with Mari and I want you to understand that I would never choose to harm you and the only intent here is to try to polish a turd into something usable.' Of course, I didn't say that because I had faith in Kei's intelligence and understanding of who I am. Sadly, Kei either is not as bright as I thought or she doesn't understand me that well, because she assumed that I was being uncaring and deliberately trying to get her killed. She did not offer any benefit of the doubt or talk to me about it, it went smiles to knives in zero seconds flat.

    "Fresh from that unsettling conversation, brain and body still barely functioning, I needed to go to Asuma for a check-in. He told me that while Akane and Haru were investigating the bank run, Haru had been murdering Yakuza in order to turn them into a Gōketsu bodyguard and intelligence service. Asuma did't and doesn't particularly care that Haru is murdering Yakuza, because he fully recognizes that Yakuza are scum who hurt everyone around them, but he did ask me to tell Haru to be more discreet.

    "Parenthetically, it's frustrating that I had to hear this from the Hokage and not from Haru, who had been doing it and not bothering to inform his Clan Head, or from Akane, the Acting Clan Head who had been working hand-in-hand with Haru on the investigation but apparently never asked for his sources.

    "I believe I mentioned the part about the world being in the process of ending as the Great Seal fails, right? Pretty sure I did. Anyway, I'm focused on that so I take a team off to O'uzu island to do research that might help us fix the Seal. I come back to find that the Isan team has returned along with their shitstorm of drama. I make the rounds, telling each of them the truth: I love you and nothing will change that. I will do anything I can to help you, whatever it costs. I offer suggestions as gently as I can, but unsurprisingly they don't help because hey, look, drama! Finally, I have one last conversation and I need help figuring out how exactly to phrase it so I call on Akane and Noburi, my moral compass and my silver-tongued brother respectively. The question is simple: How should I talk to Haru about this whole murdering thing?

    "Now, if I weren't busted to hell and doped up on medium amounts of painkillers I might have remembered to phrase it correctly. I might have said something like 'Akane, Noburi, I have a very important conversation that I need your help planning for. Asuma has informed me that Haru has been murdering Yakuza and I need to tell him to stop. Asuma doesn't particularly care, because he fully recognizes that Yakuza are scum who hurt everyone around them, but I still need to have this conversation. I acknowledge that killing is bad and killing civilians is extremely bad but I find myself ambivalent in this case because Yakuza are scum and my primary responsibility is to the clan, but there are implications for our reputation and for the spirit of Uplift. Furthermore, Haru is as much of a pain in the ass as a cactus you just sat on so I need to be sure to phrase it in a way that will work but not cause other problems and so I have come to you because blah blah blah.

    "I could have said all that. Unfortunately, I did not. I trusted Noburi and Akane to read between the lines and give me the benefit of the doubt, so I was casual about how I said it. Akane sent Noburi to get Haru so she can ream him out with a wire brush. While we wait she turned on me, telling me that I was a terrible person who had violated the principles of Uplift and she was furious with me because I'm bad bad bad and blah blah blah. A bit of charity would have been nice, a bit of patience so that I could straighten it out would have been nice, but alas. She left before I could do any of that so now I have one more mess to clean up. Am I at fault? Yes. I am the Clan Head so if any of you do anything wrong, it is my fault for not catching it. If you are angry with me it means that I made a mistake—either directly or in not managing expectations and communicating correctly.

    "Did I make a mistake by not addressing Haru's murdering immediately when Asuma mentioned it, even though he made clear that it wasn't urgent? Yes. Is it a valid excuse to point out that I was focused on literally saving the world and that therefore it didn't really rate that a few killers and drug-pushers had been murdered in order to ensure safety for the clan? No, it is not. I dropped the ball.

    "So. Yes, all of these things are my fault. All of the mistakes I made in phrasing, and all the mistakes the rest of you made in nearly sinking a critical mission, in murdering civilians, in getting caught murdering civilians...it's all on me. There are reasons for my failures but not excuses, and I fully own that.

    "Am I a bad person who has violated the spirit of Uplift and/or the Will of Fire?"

    He paused, allowing the crackling fire behind him to be the only sound in the room.

    "No, I fucking am not. I have probably done more to make the world better than anyone else of my generation in the entire fucking world. I co-invented skywalkers, which made Leaf the most powerful village in the world and earned the Gōketsu a place as a voting clan. I inspired Jiraiya to create the till'n'fill, which improved the lives of hundreds if not thousands of civilians. I pointed Jiraiya at Team Bloodrage, a critical link in the chain that led to stopping Akatsuki from destroying the world. I derailed Zabuza before he said something that started World War IV, and I took a pounding and was publicly humiliated for doing it. Then came the Collapse, after which I was the only person who acted to protect the civilian population. I convinced Ebisu and Asuma to start providing better training to clanless ninja, which is already improving their survival rates. I created the storage seal bank, which is reducing food costs and amount of starvation. I've raised walls around villages, paid recompense for things that weren't my fault, and led others to the path of Uplift. Overall, I'm pretty happy with my performance for this past year. Yes, I've made some colossal screwups, but I would say that my successes more than make up for them."

    Another pause, another drawn-out silence. People shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, unsure of where this was going.

    "Now, it has come to my attention that I'm prioritizing badly and it's leading to me dropping the ball. I should have been focused on, you know, saving the world but instead I've been trying to do everything and help everyone. I've gotten shit for charity and my least mistake has been treated as betrayal. Each time that happens I have one more thing to juggle, one more distraction from saving the world. I'm done with that."

    He tossed a sheet of parchment on the table. Everyone craned their neck to read it; eyes immediately went wide.

    ​
    I, Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, being of sound mind and body, place the full weight of my authority upon the following order:​
    ​
    Given that it is necessary for me to devote my full efforts to a research project of utmost importance, and given that I cannot give full attention both to that research and to my duties as Clan Head, the undersigned individual or individuals have full authority as Acting Clan Head(s) for Clan Gōketsu from this day until January 31, 1070. They shall be restricted by the laws of Leaf, the will and command of the Hokage, the spirit of Uplift and of the Will of Fire, and by the following specific commands: ​
    ​
    • No Gōketsu may give me orders or in any way bind, compel, or constrain my actions or access to resources.
    • Gōketsu Kagome may enter my presence at will and without invitation. No other Gōketsu shall seek me out, disturb me, message me, or in any way interrupt my research or distract me from it.
    ​
    ​
    Where those restrictions do not apply, the undersigned may act as they wish. They may bind the clan to alliances or public debts. They may acquire and dispose of property. They may punish, execute, or banish clan members. They may give away clan secrets with or without recompense. They may take any action that they feel is to the benefit of the Gōketsu.​
    ​
    Until the term of this document expires I shall be taking no actions with regards to clan business except on direct order from the Hokage. I have complete faith in my clan members and trust that they will uphold the honor of the Gōketsu while I lack the time to do so in person.​
    ​
    This is by my order and under my authority,​
    ​
    Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, temporarily in absentia.​
    ​
    ​
    "Figure out who's going to sign it," Hazō said. "The first person to sign it can tell everyone that it's okay to talk again."

    He turned and crutched his way out of the room without another word.




    XP AWARD: 4

    Brevity XP: 1

    It is now about 10pm.

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, July 14, 2021, at 12pm London time.
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    eaglejarl said:
    Hazō debated keeping his mouth shut but simply couldn't resist. "Speaking of love lives, how is Captain Yūhi?"

    The ruler of the greatest nation on the planet pinked up like a teenage boy. "She and all of my other senior officers are doing fine. Thank you for asking."

    "Have you had the opportunity to debrief with her recently, sir?"
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    This is an amazing double entendre.
     
    Last edited:
    Quite the effective fakeout, bravo. I especially like how the 'everyone in my rant-fantasy sits quiet and listens to me' problem was explained by Hazou flexing direct orders to do just that. I should've been more suspicious though when Akane's thoughts just before the letter seemed suspiciously similar to Hazou's justifications.

    Part of me wants to say that even if it takes a while to teach Kumokogo Sealing, it might be worth it since she'd be so much faster at placing HOWS. Another part of me says that Hazou's still got the best escape strategy of the two of them, if things get dicey. If Hazou dies there's no more HOWS incoming anyways so nothing from that angle, and if another summoner then shows up to bring more HOWS they'd be in a similar situation to Hazou. It might still be worth it, at least on the grounds that it only costs time, but there doesn't seem to be any urgency.

    And it looks like we won't know whether the HOWS are doing anything right away, but that's kind of to be expected. All we can really do until the Crusade gets going is place HOWS and hope they're working, so even if there's no feedback we'll just have to keep doing it.
     
    eaglejarl said:
    Yes, the threat of embargo is the main reason that ninja don't use magic for economic purposes, since that's the one thing that almost certainly would get an embargo called.
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    We're treading a daaaang thin line here. If we stray too far we'll end up making civilians useless for economic work since ninjas can do it all as well or better.

    On the other hand, ninjas shouldn't have an advantage in a lot of stuff, like running a business, so maybe civilians can become a class that just focuses on those jobs?
     

    I almost wish the breakdown part was real. It would've sucked in the short and mid-term, but I feel like the clan should hear the basic message encoded within. Hazou really is under a lot of pressure, still heavily injured, and shouldering a massive responsibility. This very update, he nearly got burned to death by an eldritch horror, and yet the expectation (including his own) is that he's supposed to walk it off and go back to business of running the clan like it's nothing. That's pretty messed up, when you think about it, and the fact that none of our people suggested taking on some of his workload of their own volition suggests some unhealthy power dynamics. It's true that it's also up to Hazou to ask for help, but still. I have some hope that if he walks into his meeting with Akane still mentally compromised by the dragon roar effect, she'll notice and do something about it, but who knows at this point.

    Also, amazing update @eaglejarl.
     
    Sentient Tree said:
    We're treading a daaaang thin line here. If we stray too far we'll end up making civilians useless for economic work since ninjas can do it all as well or better.

    On the other hand, ninjas shouldn't have an advantage in a lot of stuff, like running a business, so maybe civilians can become a class that just focuses on those jobs?
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    On another hand, Mari's taking over the Merchant Council, which is supposed to call an embargo, so that's the simple concern solved.

    On another other hand, she's gone for Konoha's Merchant Council, not all of the Elemental Nations'.
     
    Cathartic, a fantasy or not. I also really like the portrayal of the Dragons as creatures so inimical to human or near-human life that any direct observation of them functions like a memetic hazard. (Although that they still seem to be just flying fire-breathing lizards (?) beneath this somewhat undermines it.)
    eaglejarl said:
    smiles to knives in zero seconds flat
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    New quest tag new quest tag new quest tag. Someone please make it happen.
     
    eaglejarl said:

    Hazō leaned back in the tub with a sigh and draped a steaming hot washcloth over his eyes. The heat slowly baked into his still-knitting bones, easing some of the pain and relaxing his muscles.

    He had dealt with the immediate problems. The explosive tag that was Yuno had probably been disarmed for now and she knew that there were options on someone to talk to. Mari and Kei would...well, they would keep. He had told them that he loved them, he had offered to help if they wanted it, and now it was their problem. He could let go of that one for now.

    Which, of course, left Akane.

    There had been times in the past when she was disappointed in him, or frustrated with him, or even exasperated with him. There had never been a time when she was this searingly angry. Not even when he gave up her possession of Elemental Mastery. That was nothing compared to the look in her eyes when she stormed off to be with Ino, throwing the mess into his lap.

    And 'stormed off' really was the right phrase. She hadn't actually stomped her feet but it was close. She clearly felt that he had utterly violated the principles of Uplift and revealed himself to be a bad person.

    Which was pretty damn histrionic, if you were being honest. Also, would a clarifying question have hurt? She had simply assumed that Hazō was going to give Haru a slap on the wrist. She had reacted entirely to the way he had phrased it to her, to the fact that he'd used the word 'please' instead of something ridiculously over the top like "I'm going to murderize him for doing a bad thing which is bad and he is bad grr!" Honestly, he was coming to Akane and Noburi for their advice on how to deal with it! All she had to do was tell him "Don't say please, give him a direct command."

    Honestly, that was the way he should have dealt with it. Well, he should have dealt with it three weeks ago when Asuma first mentioned it, but things had been a little busy and he'd honestly forgotten about it until they had already left for the research trip to O'uzu Island. A mistake, sure, but he had gotten on it when he came back. He had gone to Akane and Noburi for advice on what a proper punishment would be and how to make the order. Akane hadn't seen it like that. She had simply popped off right away instead of giving him the to explain, which would have been the reasonable thing to do.

    Or—and maybe this was just a little crazy, but stick with it—maybe she could have checked to make sure she was right? All she had to do was say "Hazō, you sound like you are taking this very lightly and you intend to only give him a slap on the wrist. Is that what you intend? Because it seems like an incredibly important thing to me, something he should be severely punished for." And then they could have talked about it like reasonable people. Hazō could have explained why he was approaching it the way he was and Akane could have corrected him. Hazō could have pointed out that yes, he had forgotten about it because he was busy trying to save the multiverse and, oh yes, he had basically all the injuries and the pain meds were scrambling his head a little bit so could she calm the fuck down?

    And then there was Noburi. That weaselly little traitor. He abandoned Hazō to deal with the fallout alone instead of coming back to ensure that the family stayed together and didn't spin out of control. Noburi loved to talk a big game about how suave and socially skilled he was, but when the chips were down he had run like the little bitch he was. He'd been a coward back in the Swamp and he was a coward today.

    For that matter, where was the rest of the family? Why was Hazō having to deal with all of this alone? Akane had been working hand-in-glove with Haru for weeks on the bank investigation. It never dawned on her to ask where Haru was getting his information? Haru felt he had done nothing wrong, so why would he have lied to her about it? If she had asked "Hey, where did you hear that?" he would have replied "I beat it out of a Yakuza enforcer" and then she could have asked questions like "Hey, speaking of that, why are the Yakuza bodyguarding our people?" and he would have said "Because I told them to do it and then I murdered their subbosses until they did" and this problem wouldn't have been Hazō's problem. And it might not have come to Asuma's attention since Akane could have nipped it in the bud weeks ago.

    But nope, it was Hazō's problem. Everything was Hazō's problem and the clan fell apart the minute he took his eye off it for any reason. And, of course, no one was willing to cut him any slack for it. No one said "Hey, I know you've got a lot on your plate what with the whole 'saving the multiverse' thing and the 'having all the injuries and pain meds' thing, so how about if I step up and take some of the work off your plate?" Oh, and they certainly were not saying "Hey, you screwed up here but I get that it was because you're exhausted and in a lot of pain and juggling too much and I'm going to give you a break and not hold it against you forever."

    In fact, you know what? Fuck this. They wanted to be able to criticize and point fingers at their Clan Head? They could take responsibility for some of the issues.

    Hazō pulled himself out of the tub and rummaged around for writing materials.

    o-o-o-o​

    There was a soft rap on the door. "Lady Akane? Message for you, M'Lady. It's marked urgent."

    Akane swung her feet out of the bed and shrugged into a nightrobe before padding to the door and sliding it open. There was a Yamanaka civilian standing patiently outside, head bowed and message scroll offered on both hands.

    "Thank you, Hisahito," Akane said, nodding politely as she collected the scroll. "I appreciate it."

    Hisahito straightened up so that he could bow again. "Of course, Your Ladyship. With your permission?"

    "Of course. Thank you."

    He clicked his heels together and retreated swiftly. Akane watched him go with an amused tilt to her lips. It was strange having a man old enough to be her father bowing and scraping to her while calling her 'Your Ladyship'.

    Visiting Ino was always weird, but her sweetheart's support was welcome. Akane desperately missed Hazō even though she was furious with him and Ino had listened to her vent and been sympathetic and helped her look at the situation from other angles. In the morning Akane could go back, calmer, and apologize to Hazō for what she had said. She should have given him more of the benefit of the doubt. The two of them would work together and resolve the issue, just like they always did, and things would be okay again. Hazō was a good person. On a normal day he would have handled it correctly, it was just that he was busy saving the multiverse right now, as well as being badly injured. Oh, and wasn't he still taking pain medication? That stuff messed with your head.

    Akane unrolled the scroll, idly wondering who would be messaging her so late in the evening. She skimmed through it, then read it again, her face growing pale as she did. One frozen moment and then she was moving, yanking clothes on with the speed of an experienced soldier and leaving the Yamanaka compound at fully chakra-boosted speed in a straight line that didn't care about intervening hedges or anything else.

    Behind her, the scroll lay on the bed, its urgent content abandoned.

    ​
    This is a direct order from your Clan Head: You will attend me in the Gōketsu living room immediately. You may inform the Yamanaka of this message, but upon arrival you are not to communicate with anyone until I give you permission.​
    ​

    o-o-o-o​

    The band was launching into another whirling song, the mulled cider in Noburi's hand was warm and rich with spice, and Yuno was smiling as she curled into the arm he held protectively around her shoulders. The gathered ninja were listening raptly to his latest tale, each ready with their own. It was Tall Tales Night at Carahanu's Bar and Uebukakimazeru Ishi wasn't here tonight. Ishi was the hands-down champion at Tall Tales Night despite being a civilian. No one had unseated him in thirty years and he hadn't paid for a drink in that entire time. Tonight was the night that Noburi was going to break that record.

    Suddenly, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned to find a civilian teenager whom he vaguely recognized. The boy was wearing a Gōketsu crest and holding a scroll marked 'URGENT'.

    "Lord Noburi?" he said. "Sir, there's a message for you."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Lady Gōketsu? Message for you. It's marked urgent."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you, Your Ladyship."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    "Message for you..."

    o-o-o-o​

    It was a confused group that found itself seated in the Gōketsu living room. Every ninja member of Clan Gōketsu was present and exchanging confused glances with one another. No one was talking, no one was exchanging hand signs, and no one was passing notes, for all communication had been forbidden.

    Given the strangeness of that order, the changes to the room hardly merited a mention. The furniture had been rearranged, moved away from the hearth and placed in a line so that it all faced the hearth from the same direction instead of encircling it and facing inwards. There was a roaring fire in said hearth, but the furniture had been moved far enough back that the heat didn't really reach and the November chill lay heavy on the room. Fortunately, the couches and chairs had been piled with blankets and seals containing hot water bottles.

    Hazō crutched through the open door and every eye was instantly riveted.

    He crutched closer, stopping between them and the fireplace so that its light was behind him, revealing him only in silhouette. He leaned on the crutches and studied them for a slow five count.

    "This is an official briefing from your Clan Head. You will sit quietly and listen attentively until I am finished. You will not interrupt me. You will not leave this room until given permission."

    There had been no need to specify 'listen attentively'; everyone was focused on him as a sealmaster would look upon an unstable tag. Atomu, Mai, and Reo clearly would have preferred that they were looking upon an unstable tag. Yuno was clutching Noburi's hand and Satsuko's haft with equal intensity, clearly unable to predict what was about to happen and ready to murder if necessary. Akane was fuming, lips compressed into a tight line of assumption.

    "First," Hazō said, "a quick recap of the past year.

    "Back in January I looked at the Pangolin Summoning Scroll and got my brain turned inside out. I don't have an easy way to convey to you just how bad the aftereffects were. Fortunately, the experience was worth it because it gave me insights into sealing that are probably going to literally save the world in the next few months.

    "A few days after that, a sealing failure nearly cost me the love of my life and the teacher who means more to me than words can say.

    "Mid-February, Orochimaru turned my brain inside out again and yanked the estate out from under us. I managed to find us a place to live and keep things together for everyone.

    "Beginning of April, I got threatened by two members of Akatsuki, nearly killed in a duel with a lightning-aspected ninja who caused a sealing failure around me, and then went to the afterlife to rescue him from eternal torture.

    "Skip forward a few months during which nothing of interest happens except for a clan war, some minor political issues, me obtaining the most powerful jutsu in the world for several of you, me burning a ton of political credit to get the koi and barrel seals so we can save Noburi's ass, blah blah blah.

    "In September Hidan showed up, kidnapped me, and forced me to gamble for the lives of a civilian village. I cheated like crazy while playing against a psychotic S-rank murderer and as a result I saved most of the civilians.

    "A couple days later, Cannai tells me to run across the entire continent in order to find the Spider Empress. I do so, spending basically every day running myself into the ground and every night back here to make sure everything is holding together.

    "Partway across the continent I return to the estate for my nightly check-in and discover that there's a run on our bank. Why? Because back in February I invented the Gōketsu scrip as a more portable version of ryō, and also a way to get us some temporary liquidity while we were rebuilding the estate. Mari immediately went off and spent a billion ryō that we didn't have, and then Akane piled up more debt here in Leaf. She dumped the bank run issue on me with no warning but I dealt with it; it was my fault because I am the Clan Head and therefore it is my responsibility to make sure no one else is screwing up. I left her in charge so her actions were my actions, her mistakes were my mistakes.

    "Back on the Seventh Path, we reached the Arachnid Territory and discovered that there is a seal the size of a mountain failing and when, not if, it fails the Seventh Path is going to be destroyed and probably so is the Human Path. I was forced to marry a terrifying spider monster as a legal fiction so that I could get on top of the butte to see this Great Seal. Looking at the Seal crushes my brain even worse than the Pangolin Scroll did and also breaks my entire body. I'm going to be on crutches for months yet and I have a choice between aching pain or a head full of wool from the medication.

    "Somewhere in there, most of the family goes off to Isan to negotiate with a bunch of religious zealots. Mari does a good job handling it, but I'm still involved in an advisory capacity so I'm spending energy on that.

    "No sooner do I look away from that then the people on the mission absolutely lose their minds and end up hating each other. They're practically at knifepoint in the middle of enemy territory and it comes within a whisker of compromising the mission."

    Kei shifted uncomfortably at that. Mari didn't react at all, lounging back with her ankles crossed and her fingers interlaced on her stomach.

    "I get blindsided by this issue and by the fact that the mission is about to fall apart because there's, like, two minutes left until the High Priest is going to make his decision on who to ally with and our opportunity to make it be Leaf is about to be lost. I get asked to come up with a plan to save the day. I'd already offered my best advice but suddenly more is needed, so I dig deep. I pull out all the crazy, half-baked thoughts and run them by Kei, trying to find a way to turn them into something usable. Unfortunately I assumed that her amazing brain would recognize that was what I would doing, or at least that she would give me the benefit of the doubt, so I did not preface the conversation with 'now, Kei, these thoughts are simply half-baked bottom-of-the-barrel things that I had already rejected as being very dangerous and I recognize that they are not usable as is and the only reason I am bringing them up is because you screwed the pooch and blew up the mission when you lost your temper with Mari and I want you to understand that I would never choose to harm you and the only intent here is to try to polish a turd into something usable.' Of course, I didn't say that because I had faith in Kei's intelligence and understanding of who I am. Sadly, Kei either is not as bright as I thought or she doesn't understand me that well, because she assumed that I was being uncaring and deliberately trying to get her killed. She did not offer any benefit of the doubt or talk to me about it, it went smiles to knives in zero seconds flat.

    "Fresh from that unsettling conversation, brain and body still barely functioning, I needed to go to Asuma for a check-in. He told me that while Akane and Haru were investigating the bank run, Haru had been murdering Yakuza in order to turn them into a Gōketsu bodyguard and intelligence service. Asuma did't and doesn't particularly care that Haru is murdering Yakuza, because he fully recognizes that Yakuza are scum who hurt everyone around them, but he did ask me to tell Haru to be more discreet.

    "Parenthetically, it's frustrating that I had to hear this from the Hokage and not from Haru, who had been doing it and not bothering to inform his Clan Head, or from Akane, the Acting Clan Head who had been working hand-in-hand with Haru on the investigation but apparently never asked for his sources.

    "I believe I mentioned the part about the world being in the process of ending as the Great Seal fails, right? Pretty sure I did. Anyway, I'm focused on that so I take a team off to O'uzu island to do research that might help us fix the Seal. I come back to find that the Isan team has returned along with their shitstorm of drama. I make the rounds, telling each of them the truth: I love you and nothing will change that. I will do anything I can to help you, whatever it costs. I offer suggestions as gently as I can, but unsurprisingly they don't help because hey, look, drama! Finally, I have one last conversation and I need help figuring out how exactly to phrase it so I call on Akane and Noburi, my moral compass and my silver-tongued brother respectively. The question is simple: How should I talk to Haru about this whole murdering thing?

    "Now, if I weren't busted to hell and doped up on medium amounts of painkillers I might have remembered to phrase it correctly. I might have said something like 'Akane, Noburi, I have a very important conversation that I need your help planning for. Asuma has informed me that Haru has been murdering Yakuza and I need to tell him to stop. Asuma doesn't particularly care, because he fully recognizes that Yakuza are scum who hurt everyone around them, but I still need to have this conversation. I acknowledge that killing is bad and killing civilians is extremely bad but I find myself ambivalent in this case because Yakuza are scum and my primary responsibility is to the clan, but there are implications for our reputation and for the spirit of Uplift. Furthermore, Haru is as much of a pain in the ass as a cactus you just sat on so I need to be sure to phrase it in a way that will work but not cause other problems and so I have come to you because blah blah blah.

    "I could have said all that. Unfortunately, I did not. I trusted Noburi and Akane to read between the lines and give me the benefit of the doubt, so I was casual about how I said it. Akane sent Noburi to get Haru so she can ream him out with a wire brush. While we wait she turned on me, telling me that I was a terrible person who had violated the principles of Uplift and she was furious with me because I'm bad bad bad and blah blah blah. A bit of charity would have been nice, a bit of patience so that I could straighten it out would have been nice, but alas. She left before I could do any of that so now I have one more mess to clean up. Am I at fault? Yes. I am the Clan Head so if any of you do anything wrong, it is my fault for not catching it. If you are angry with me it means that I made a mistake—either directly or in not managing expectations and communicating correctly.

    "Did I make a mistake by not addressing Haru's murdering immediately when Asuma mentioned it, even though he made clear that it wasn't urgent? Yes. Is it a valid excuse to point out that I was focused on literally saving the world and that therefore it didn't really rate that a few killers and drug-pushers had been murdered in order to ensure safety for the clan? No, it is not. I dropped the ball.

    "So. Yes, all of these things are my fault. All of the mistakes I made in phrasing, and all the mistakes the rest of you made in nearly sinking a critical mission, in murdering civilians, in getting caught murdering civilians...it's all on me. There are reasons for my failures but not excuses, and I fully own that.

    "Am I a bad person who has violated the spirit of Uplift and/or the Will of Fire?"

    He paused, allowing the crackling fire behind him to be the only sound in the room.

    "No, I fucking am not. I have probably done more to make the world better than anyone else of my generation in the entire fucking world. I co-invented skywalkers, which made Leaf the most powerful village in the world and earned the Gōketsu a place as a voting clan. I inspired Jiraiya to create the till'n'fill, which improved the lives of hundreds if not thousands of civilians. I pointed Jiraiya at Team Bloodrage, a critical link in the chain that led to stopping Akatsuki from destroying the world. I derailed Zabuza before he said something that started World War IV, and I took a pounding and was publicly humiliated for doing it. Then came the Collapse, after which I was the only person who acted to protect the civilian population. I convinced Ebisu and Asuma to start providing better training to clanless ninja, which is already improving their survival rates. I created the storage seal bank, which is reducing food costs and amount of starvation. I've raised walls around villages, paid recompense for things that weren't my fault, and led others to the path of Uplift. Overall, I'm pretty happy with my performance for this past year. Yes, I've made some colossal screwups, but I would say that my successes more than make up for them."

    Another pause, another drawn-out silence. People shifted uncomfortably in their chairs, unsure of where this was going.

    "Now, it has come to my attention that I'm prioritizing badly and it's leading to me dropping the ball. I should have been focused on, you know, saving the world but instead I've been trying to do everything and help everyone. I've gotten shit for charity and my least mistake has been treated as betrayal. Each time that happens I have one more thing to juggle, one more distraction from saving the world. I'm done with that."

    He tossed a sheet of parchment on the table. Everyone craned their neck to read it; eyes immediately went wide.

    ​
    I, Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, being of sound mind and body, place the full weight of my authority upon the following order:​
    ​
    Given that it is necessary for me to devote my full efforts to a research project of utmost importance, and given that I cannot give full attention both to that research and to my duties as Clan Head, the undersigned individual or individuals have full authority as Acting Clan Head(s) for Clan Gōketsu from this day until January 31, 1070. They shall be restricted by the laws of Leaf, the will and command of the Hokage, the spirit of Uplift and of the Will of Fire, and by the following specific commands: ​
    ​
    • No Gōketsu may give me orders or in any way bind, compel, or constrain my actions or access to resources.
    • Gōketsu Kagome may enter my presence at will and without invitation. No other Gōketsu shall seek me out, disturb me, message me, or in any way interrupt my research or distract me from it.
    ​
    ​
    Where those restrictions do not apply, the undersigned may act as they wish. They may bind the clan to alliances or public debts. They may acquire and dispose of property. They may punish, execute, or banish clan members. They may give away clan secrets with or without recompense. They may take any action that they feel is to the benefit of the Gōketsu.​
    ​
    Until the term of this document expires I shall be taking no actions with regards to clan business except on direct order from the Hokage. I have complete faith in my clan members and trust that they will uphold the honor of the Gōketsu while I lack the time to do so in person.​
    ​
    This is by my order and under my authority,​
    ​
    Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, temporarily in absentia.​
    ​
    ​
    "Figure out who's going to sign it," Hazō said. "The first person to sign it can tell everyone that it's okay to talk again."

    He turned and crutched his way out of the room without another word.




    XP AWARD: 4

    Brevity XP: 1

    It is now about 10pm.

    Vote time! What to do now?

    Voting ends on Wednesday, July 14, 2021, at 12pm London time.
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    Holy shit. I'm not used to reading my own internal monologue out loud.
     
    Mini reaction post! Had no idea how to react to the first chapter, so I gave it an informative, somewhat ironically.

    eaglejarl said:
    Visiting Ino was always weird, but her sweetheart's support was welcome. Akane desperately missed Hazō even though she was furious with him and Ino had listened to her vent and been sympathetic and helped her look at the situation from other angles. In the morning Akane could go back, calmer, and apologize to Hazō for what she had said. She should have given him more of the benefit of the doubt. The two of them would work together and resolve the issue, just like they always did, and things would be okay again. Hazō was a good person. On a normal day he would have handled it correctly, it was just that he was busy saving the multiverse right now, as well as being badly injured. Oh, and wasn't he still taking pain medication? That stuff messed with your head.
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    Okay, so reading that I'm guessing either this chapter isn't really happening, or Hazou is about to do a dumb thing. Dumb thing from context, not real based on the seeming double update. But this is the level of reasonable I'm hoping for.

    eaglejarl said:
    I, Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, being of sound mind and body, place the full weight of my authority upon the following order:

    Given that it is necessary for me to devote my full efforts to a research project of utmost importance, and given that I cannot give full attention both to that research and to my duties as Clan Head, the undersigned individual or individuals have full authority as Acting Clan Head(s) for Clan Gōketsu from this day until January 31, 1070. They shall be restricted by the laws of Leaf, the will and command of the Hokage, the spirit of Uplift and of the Will of Fire, and by the following specific commands:

    • No Gōketsu may give me orders or in any way bind, compel, or constrain my actions or access to resources.
    • Gōketsu Kagome may enter my presence at will and without invitation. No other Gōketsu shall seek me out, disturb me, message me, or in any way interrupt my research or distract me from it.


    Where those restrictions do not apply, the undersigned may act as they wish. They may bind the clan to alliances or public debts. They may acquire and dispose of property. They may punish, execute, or banish clan members. They may give away clan secrets with or without recompense. They may take any action that they feel is to the benefit of the Gōketsu.

    Until the term of this document expires I shall be taking no actions with regards to clan business except on direct order from the Hokage. I have complete faith in my clan members and trust that they will uphold the honor of the Gōketsu while I lack the time to do so in person.

    This is by my order and under my authority,

    Gōketsu Hazō, Clan Head of Clan Gōketsu, temporarily in absentia.

    "Figure out who's going to sign it," Hazō said. "The first person to sign it can tell everyone that it's okay to talk again."

    He turned and crutched his way out of the room without another word.
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    Dang. I'm still dubious of that actually happening, especially without player involvement, but the island of love incident happened, so I can't be sure. Still, that's... Not a bad direction, but definitely a change in direction.

    Also, while Akane did a decent job as acting clan head, the bank run and Haru unawareness at least shows that it's hard for anyone to do.
    Oh, and we should maybe set ground rules for potential successors. The kind of thing that doesn't matter to us as a quest, but we should do in universe anyway.

    eaglejarl said:
    Don't worry about it. The Gōketsu have a good reputation among the common folk. Your ninja have far fewer incidents with civilians than any other can and you've made demonstable improvements in their lives. They're happy to wag their tongues and shake their fingers while also smiling behind their hands and wishing you all the best." He shrugged. "Also, the legends are amazing. Akane is cheating on you with Ino, you're cheating on Akane with Ino, you and Ino are preparing a marriage, or perhaps already married, with the intent to absorb the Yamanaka into the Gōketsu and Akane is your concubine. Ino is pregnant with your child but Akane has agreed to carry the child and so Lady Tsunade is going to teleport it from Ino's body to Akane's. You are pregnant due to a sealing mishap and Lady Tsunade is going to transfer it to Ino. It gets better. I can show you the compiled report, if you like?"
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    Typo, should be clan, not can.

    But also, I'm sure Asuma doesn't get much low-key stress relief these days, so I'm glad that this is entertaining for him. It's good rapport building, but also an amused chuckle Asuma really needs.

    And I have mixed feelings about the previous chapter not being real, and Hazou's dialogue saying he won't do it. I think that's accurate, and for the best, but still a wistful opportunity.

    eaglejarl said:
    Hazō immediately recognized that 'which treason?' probably was not the right thing to say, which he considered a sign of considerable political growth. "I'm fine, sir.
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    He's learning! (And reflecting us learning as well).

    Shrooms said:
    DRAGONS
    HAVE
    JONIN
    AURAS
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    Technically, based on the timeline of this world, it's more that:
    SOME NINJA
    HAVE
    DRAGON
    AURAS


    Edit: Appreciate the double update!
     
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    Shrooms said:
    While I guess it's fair the ranking system came much later, humans with chakra had to have come first since the Sage possibly with the help of his band created the Dragons to fight the 10 tails...right?
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    But they weren't jonin or Ninja how we think of them, right? Plus the sage had so many BS powers that everything is a SSP power unless otherwise stated, so it's easier to just skip him.
     
    faflec said:
    On another hand, Mari's taking over the Merchant Council, which is supposed to call an embargo, so that's the simple concern solved.

    On another other hand, she's gone for Konoha's Merchant Council, not all of the Elemental Nations'.
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    Yeah, it just doesn't solve the underlying issue that the MC's existence was supposed to solve. If ninja get too involved in economic stuff, what use is there for civilians?

    And the natural conclusion of civilians losing all the rights they do have if such a thing were to happen.
     
    Sentient Tree said:
    Yeah, it just doesn't solve the underlying issue that the MC's existence was supposed to solve. If ninja get too involved in economic stuff, what use is there for civilians?
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    Thats because the MC doesn't actually solve the issue.

    Hashirama, first Hokage and founder of both leaf and the hidden village system, solved the issue with his overwhelming power and influence. 'Thou shalt not steal their jobs with ninja magic', came the commandment from on high to which all Ninja (at least in leaf) adhere.

    The other villages, which all blindly and hurriedly copied leaf so as to not be left behind, also implemented similar rules albeit with faulty reasoning. Stuff like "We're better than the useless slaves who feed us and do our chores, stooping to their level would be demeaning"

    It's been a couple generations, since then, but people got used to doing things that way. Plus the next few Hokages were like "Yeah what he said still goes, he was pretty cool."
     
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