phin and ferb have high stewardship to show their genius, instead of nutso learning. I could see Artemis being a high stewardship style genius.

Anyway. What are the odds that in universe Artemis Fowl would end up at SFIT? Hypothetically, it's the cutting edge and also located in a major tech-crime hotspot. I could see Artemis being a prince zaibatsu head in SanFransokyo by taking it from (well. Probably puppeting the funtelligence goon since that dude sucks lmao).

I mean. If yokai can be a shadow behind the organization I'm sure Artemis could do something similar.

As for hypothetical Artemis stats . . . he is probably aged up here and has been pointed out he's excellent at calculation, logic puzzles and coding but not an inventor so much as his intellect allows him to bootstrap fairy tech through repairs and deduction/extrapolation. I could see him being high stewardship, medium high intrigue, high learning. Bootstrapped fae-tech and comprehensive tactical knowledge should give him passable martial. Diplomacy slightly below or at average (knowing the mechanics of diplomacy are different than practice). Prince stats, if not King stats.

I don't think Holly or Artemis would be heroes for us. I think they'd be like the Dicken's in a way. Separate from us, but available for use for the right price (or if they are motivated for some reason). Doof is the most interesting King to poke at in my opinion, in addition to being a strange eccentric that breaks the laws of physics regularly we are also the least likely to kill someone that is prodding us. I find it likely that Artemis will be poking us, for curiosity's sake if not a specific target
 
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Butler is good he's fantastic but he's below Khan.
Ehhh. In a personal fight? I'd give it even odds; Khan's moderately superhuman, but Butler's good. Now, as a general Khan would blow Butler out of the water, granted.

I really don't see it introducing a new mastermind to the situation one whom he can't really control and has no way to control? He may want help but Artemis doesn't really strike me as an ally that Xanatos would be after.

he can't be bought as he's already rich, he can at minimum keep up with Xanatos so plotting around him is dangerous.
It depends on what resources Artemis has and what Artemis wants. Remember, Xanatos doesn't actually want to rule the world, he wants a big chunk of it plus immortality. He's perfectly willing to team up with someone who'd be a very dangerous (and un-manipulable) enemy against a more powerful enemy who threatens the whole Earth or all of humanity.

I suspect Artemis feels the same way.
 
I don't think Holly or Artemis would be heroes for us. I think they'd be like the Dicken's in a way.
A bit of a correction with that comparison. We can actually recruit the Dickens in the long run with enough patronage of them and creating a good enough reputation among them.
 
Anyway. What are the odds that in universe Artemis Fowl would end up at SFIT? Hypothetically, it's the cutting edge and also located in a major tech-crime hotspot. I could see Artemis being a prince zaibatsu head in SanFransokyo by taking it from (well. Probably puppeting the funtelligence goon since that dude sucks lmao).

He can be very openly disdainful towards those who are less intelligent than himself and who have any kind of authority over him, including a running habit of trolling therapists and psychologists that try to get him to open up about his issues.

If his parents are around, he may have been strongarmed into attending. If they aren't, odds are that Artemis wouldn't seek formal education and prefer to teach himself.
 
Possible reasons why Fowl would take an interest in the US
1) The slipping Masquerade (Xanatos just let slip a pretty big secret; the LEP might consider him a security risk for that)
2) Toffee/Bill (they're chaotic entities of almost pure power; no way would that not make anyone nervous)
3) Drossel (an advanced AI that's almost on par with fairy systems? What's not to check out?)
4) DoofOS (when Bradley looked at our systems, he almost had a nervous breakdown. This implies that our systems, to an LEP-aware being, look like a bad impression of fairy programming. This might attract some unwanted attention.)
5) Increasing cyber situation (the growth of the MCP is a little concerning. Fowl may want to check that out just to be on the safe side)
6) Paradoxes (a common theory in the thread suggests that the worlds of Disney were just haphazardly thrown together one day and created a messy gridlock of opposing factions that just appeared out of thin air. While this did happen to America, it's unconfirmed that it happened to the rest of the world (or if it happened at all). If this is the case, Fowl may have noticed the timeline going wonky over in the States and decided to check that out to try and contain the situation.

Also, just thought of these:
Crack Theory: This universe used to be just the Gravity Falls universe. However, when Bill tried and failed to break the bubble, he brought several dimensions crashing together, which brought Syndrome, Xanatos, us, Shego, and all the others to this reality and created the current scenario.

Question: Is there anything going on between Holly and Artemis? Or is their relationship strictly professional? I only picked up the first book and the read the first few chapters before losing interest... years ago.
 
4) DoofOS (when Bradley looked at our systems, he almost had a nervous breakdown. This implies that our systems, to an LEP-aware being, look like a bad impression of fairy programming. This might attract some unwanted attention.)
No it doesn't? It just implies that LOVEMUFFIN managed to cobble together well-functioning code that to a professional like Bradley looks hideous. The behind the scenes of DoofOS is probably similar to Team Fortress Two, except worse.
 
Question: Is there anything going on between Holly and Artemis? Or is their relationship strictly professional? I only picked up the first book and the read the first few chapters before losing interest... years ago.
As far as I'm aware they're mostly just friends. There were some... moments in the books but this was mostly due to hormones scrambled by time travel as opposed to anything concrete.

Their relationship in the quest mostly depends on the timeline and what actually happened. Artemis and Holly's road to mutual trust and friendship was a long one for obvious reasons (considering they met when he kidnapped her).
 
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Exit MacBeth? (3/3)

Still a very interesting plot bunny. 500XP.
Crisis: Twelfth Night - Definitely a Real Doofquest Update, You Guys
This is not as far fetched as you think it is, 500XP.

Younger and Modern Kitsune
Wow that looks really good, 1000XP total.
FRIENDS IN THE RIGHT PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

This is the sort of thing where you'd definitely have to talk with us ahead of time for it to end up canon. So it's a good thing you did. 500XP, canon threadmark.
Isabella and the Fireside Girls Save Hanukah!
Why does this fit. I don't know. Happy Hanukkah. 500XP.
 
You know, I've been thinking, especifically about the Magic Masquerade, and maybe we shouldn't back up Xanatos' play? Maybe we should go in the complete opposite direction?

Because what Xanatos did was basically go "Magic? What magic? Ain't no magic here, no sir!" and that's good. Most of the U.S. population will be glad of that, in face of whatever Demona is plotting to bust the Masquerade wide open. They'll be relieved to know that magic is not real, so they don't have to worry about that! Wooh, dodged a bullet there.

BUT, there'll be some, the weird, the kooky, the conspiracy theorists, who will be like, "Magic is totally real! Let's investigate!". And those people, those independents, who are already out there (like Hans Rotwood), but with better leads after the Demona debacle, might actually crack the thing open, and that's something no one wants.

So let's give them a healthy outlet to channel their energy. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, the big time CEO, who talks on his social media all the time about how magic is real, lawn gnomes can protect your house from evil, and by the way, the vending machine uprising is just around the corner! And we don't even try to prove any of our statements, of course. Just leave it out there.

The normal people will just look at that and be like, "Hah, that Doofenshmirtz sure is excentric!" The weird ones, on the other hand, can come to us first. The ones who are just hobbyists, in it for the aesthetics or whatever, we turn away. The ones who are the real deal, we actually induct into the Magic Masquerade in a controlled fashion and swear to silence, much like Xanatos tried to do for us.
 
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You imply that Xanatos hasn't already planned for people like Rotwood. This is something that I believe we should collaborate with him on, just a basic control narrative of Twelfth Night sort of thing.
 
This is something that I believe we should collaborate with him on, just a basic control narrative of Twelfth Night sort of thing.
Why not both? Yes, if we get involved with covering this up we should work with Xanatos on messaging, but collaborating with Xanatos doesn't mean saying what he's saying. It means running what we're saying past each other. Acting as a kind of controlled opposition would fit there, whether that's using our Emperor Norton powers for good or deciding what the national conversation is about by providing a less kooky disagreement about something other than stuff touching on the masquerades.
 
Why not both? Yes, if we get involved with covering this up we should work with Xanatos on messaging, but collaborating with Xanatos doesn't mean saying what he's saying. It means running what we're saying past each other. Acting as a kind of controlled opposition would fit there, whether that's using our Emperor Norton powers for good or deciding what the national conversation is about by providing a less kooky disagreement about something other than stuff touching on the masquerades.
I was saying that Lab was severely underestimating Xanatos if he really believed that Xanatos hasn't already planned a controlled opposition. Honestly acting as a controlled opposition seems like poking a landmine. I highly doubt that any collaboration with Xanatos over controlling the narrative of Twelfth Night would end with us deliberating revealing magic in a way that it is not believed by the population.

One issue is that it relies on the population's stupidity, which is not a wise thing to do.
 
BUT, there'll be some, the weird, the kooky, the conspiracy theorists, who will be like, "Magic is totally real! Let's investigate!". And those people, those independents, who are already out there (like Hans Rotwood), but with better leads after the Demona debacle, might actually crack the thing open, and that's something no one wants.
Those people will try to take their findings to Rotwood and then Xanatos will deal with them.
 
I was saying that Lab was severely underestimating Xanatos if he really believed that Xanatos hasn't already planned a controlled opposition.
Xanatos might have set a controlled opposition, but probably not a controlled opposition as good for the role as Heinz Doofenshmirtz. We have all the requirements for a credible (and by credible, of course I mean COMPLETELY INCREDIBLE) controlled opposition, but with a lot of (safely ignorable) added weight to our name.

One issue is that it relies on the population's stupidity, which is not a wise thing to do.
The entire Gridlocked Masquerade already essentially relies on the population's wilfull ignorance, though. I'm not saying implement the strategy right away and unilaterally, but at least running it by Xanatos doesn't cost us anything.
 
Crisis: Twelfth Night- Catechumens
"David Xanatos?" Marco asked, tilting his head in confusion.

"I knew you owned the mob!" Janna declared smugly.

"Please Ms. Ordonia, I do not own the mob. Mr. Drakon simply recognizes my importance in ensuring the Sykes Syndicate does not overwhelm his business. And he occasionally provides me with a useful favor such as, as you might guess, a smokescreen for my more confidential agreements."

"So I'm not here to do 'protection' work for the mafia?" Marco asked suspiciously.

"No, but you are here for protection." Xanatos replied. "Janna, may I assume you are here on behalf of Doctor Doofenshmirtz?"

"Janna, you work for the deranged lunatic?!?" Marco asked. "Wait. Why is that surprising?"

"Ehhh, kinda?" Janna replied to Xanatos, tilting her hand back and forth. "I'm here to pick up my friend Marco after work."

"Janna!"

"Dude, this is David Xanatos. If he doesn't already know your real name I'll eat Leopold."

"Rawrf?!?"

"No sweetie, she doesn't mean it." Feldrake said.

"Four years building up the mystery of Cazador…" Marco muttered to himself, pinching the bridge of his nose. "We're getting off topic. What sort of 'protection' am I here for?"

Xanatos nodded. "Considering the appearance of your friend on such an… eventful night-"

"Look Xanay, this was a coincidence." Janna interrupted. "I'm not here to-"

"Oh I believe you." Xanatos interrupted back. "This obscene coincidence tracks with everything I've seen of the Doctor so far, and while I was only vaguely aware of Mr. Diaz's connections to Echo Creek I must admit I am not surprised."

"Not even about the demon?" Janna asked, sounding slightly put out.

"Hi, I don't understand what's going on." Tom said.

"Then perhaps I can explain." Xanatos began, rising from his chair. "Several months ago, Ms. Ordonia, an item I had intended to purchase was unexpectedly lost to me."

"That's why you went to the auction!" Janna declared.

Xanatos nodded approvingly. "It was one reason. I had paid the asking price prior to the auction in order to avoid any unexpected bets. Unfortunately, Madame De Spell is rather… mercenary. Someone else offered more at the last moment."

"What was it?"

"One half of a set." Xanatos replied. "A set that Demona now has both parts of."

"Are we going to have to make a list of things we don't know what they are?" Lizzy asked.

"It would help." Xanatos replied. "Demona is an old enemy of mine. As soon as I heard your prophecy I suspected it referred to her, and the events of the auction only served to confirm it. She is a gargoyle with a simmering hatred towards humanity, determined to strike back against an entire species because of what she thinks we did to her."

"Where have I heard that before?" Marco muttered darkly. "Don't tell me, she's got genocidal ambitions too?"

"They're coming out of the floorboards these days." Janna agreed darkly.

"There is an upside. Or perhaps it would be better to say 'glimmer of hope.' It would seem as though Demona is not satisfied with one completed artifact. Several months ago she arranged for the theft of another item of interest from Notre Dame Cathedral, replacing it with a replica. I was able to intercept this item, and it is currently in one of my own vaults, here in New York."

"Oh yeah! The Papillon thing?" Janna asked. "Jackie sent me a message about that from France."

"Oh. Is she uh… she doing ok?" Marco asked.

"Yeah, she's having a good time."

"Oh good. Good."

"..."

"Soooo, what's the doom artifact do?" Tom asked after several awkward seconds.

"Suffice to say if she acquires this item alongside what she already has, she may well accomplish her goals. Quickly."

"Where do I come in?" Marco questioned.

Janna punched him in the arm.

"Ow! Okay, okay, fine! Where do we come in?"

"I can't be certain, but I believe that Demona plans to make her move tonight. She would find it… poetic. While the prophecy you shared with me might have said her designs will not come to pass, that leaves no reason to be complacent. Dracon's outfit is prepared for some 'gang warfare', and they would appreciate the support."

"Quick question. If she's as bad as you're saying, why haven't you just killed her yet?" Marco preemptively looked to Janna as if expecting an objection. When none came, he simply shrugged.

"Demona cannot be killed."

Marco's eye twitched. "That just means you're not trying hard enough."

"I'm led to believe it's a quirk of the fates, actually."

"Great. Just great. Have you told anyone else about this impending apocalypse?" Marco asked.

"Horvath is the largest center of occult power in the city at the moment. Unfortunately he is just skilled enough to suspect every word I say. He will likely mobilize once it becomes clear I am telling the truth, but considering the speed at which Demona could put her plan into effect, that will likely be too late."

Opposed Intrigue Check:
Xanatos Intrigue Check: 8+71=79
Janna Intrigue Check: 23+22+17=62
Xanatos Success!

"Mm hmm." Janna said. "And are you going to fill in all the blatant omissions in that story?"

"Are you going to refuse to help if I say no?"

"...Touche."

"Cazador, if I wasn't clear, I need you to help me protect this final artifact. Tonight and, if the threat should fail to materialize, for several nights to come. I'll pay your usual rate, no questions asked. Do we have a deal?"

Marco thought for a moment. "Yeah, I can do that." He said, patting a weirdly shaped case he had slung over his back. "I've fought worse."

"Good." Lizzy said, standing up and cracking her knuckles. "Now if the exposition is over-"

"Yes, we should be going." Xanatos agreed. "Before Demona makes her move."

"..."

Lizzy looked around.

"...is something wrong?" Xanatos asked.

"This is usually the part where the attack we've been talking about immediately happens."

"I would not have spent the last hour arranging a complex, deniable means of obtaining a mercenary, only to then take the time to explain the situation personally, if I had any expectation of an assault being imminent."

"What."

Janna frowned. "How the heck would you even know that?"

"I put a tracker in the item she stole from me."

"Ah."

"Ohhhh."

"Yeah that makes more sense."
 
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Opposed Intrigue Check:
Xanatos Intrigue Check: 8+71=79
Janna Intrigue Check: 23+22+17=62
Xanatos Success!
Xanatos has 72 Intrigue, not 71.

Xanatos might have set a controlled opposition, but probably not a controlled opposition as good for the role as Heinz Doofenshmirtz. We have all the requirements for a credible (and by credible, of course I mean COMPLETELY INCREDIBLE) controlled opposition, but with a lot of (safely ignorable) added weight to our name.

The entire Gridlocked Masquerade already essentially relies on the population's wilfull ignorance, though. I'm not saying implement the strategy right away and unilaterally, but at least running it by Xanatos doesn't cost us anything.
That would fly if this was at the beginning of the Quest, not anymore. Deranged Lunatic from Danville has more or less evaporated by now. Doof muttering about magic will have people notice. People that wouldn't take notice if it wasn't one of the CEOs of the American megacorporations.

The Masquerade has been running because the government and the magical creatures have avoided bringing it to the public's attention, and have actual magic to smooth things over. Blatantly talking about this will have people notice.
 
"Please Ms. Ordonia, I do not own the mob. Mr. Drakon simply recognizes my importance in ensuring the Sykes Syndicate does not overwhelm his business. And he occasionally provides me with a useful favor such as, as you might guess, a smokescreen for my more confidential agreements."

"So I'm not here to do 'protection' work for the mafia?" Marco asked suspiciously.

"No, but you are here for protection." Xanatos replied. "Janna, may I assume you are here on behalf of Doctor Doofenshmirtz?"
 
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