Less that he is really good at decoding languages (though he is), more the fact that he plays around with tech that is very good at hacking stuff, because the fairies are several technological steps above 21st century humanity.
'Fair enough.' Artemis nodded. 'Do you have a mobile phone?'
'Naturally.' Spiro placed his mobile phone on the table. It was the latest Fission Chips model.
'Secure, I take it?'
Spiro nodded arrogantly. 'Five hundred bit encryption. Best in its class. You're not getting into the Fission 400 without a code.'
'We shall see.'
Artemis pointed the sensor at the handset. The screen instantly displayed an image of the mobile phone's workings.
'Download?' enquired a metallic voice from the speaker.
'Confirm.'
In less than a second, the job was done. 'Download complete,' said the box, with a hint of smugness.
Spiro was aghast. 'I don't believe it. That system cost twenty million dollars.'
'Worthless,' said Artemis, showing him the screen. 'Would you like to call home? Or maybe move some funds around? You really shouldn't keep your bank account numbers on a sim card.'
The American thought for several moments.
'It's a trick,' he pronounced finally. 'You must've known about my phone. Somehow, don't ask me how, you got access to it earlier.'
[...] 'Almost. One last test. I have a feeling that the government is monitoring me. Could you check it out?'
Artemis thought for a moment, then addressed the red box again.
'Cube, do you read any surveillance beams concentrated on this building?'
The machine whirred for a moment. 'The strongest ion beam is eighty kilometres due west, emanating from US satellite code number ST1132P. Registered to the Central Intelligence Agency. Estimated time of arrival, eight minutes. There are also several LEP probes connected to . . .'
Artemis hit the mute button before the Cube could continue. Obviously the computer's fairy components could pick up Lower Elements technology too. He would have to remedy that. In the wrong hands that information would be devastating to fairy security.
Hah! Oh, wait, you were serious! Let me laugh even harder!
Artemis can make a neat computer, Doof can invent chicken-based universal teleportation and dimensional travel, non-chicken based dimensional travel, time travel, enlarge the entire universe, and muck about with abstract concepts.
While Artemis kidnaps fairies, Xanatos goes toe-to-toe with the Fairy King Oberon himself (and loses, admittedly). The gap on this one is not as large, but that old adage about old age and treachery beating youth and enthusiasm applies.
Nope. Unless Cazador wants to go work for Xanatos (which, considering DEI is sinking resources in finding Star, is unlikely), we don't owe him anything. We are CEOs, we don't get "dibs" on stuff.
except for a very brief moment in book one, in which Artemis endangered Butler's sister (who is probably a decent Martial hero herself, if she shows up at all).
Hey, that sister went to the U.S. to be a pro-wrestler, right? We could maybe try and hire her. I'm just now realizing that we don't have a pro-wrestler on staff, and that's an oversight I'd like to correct.
Hey, that sister went to the U.S. to be a pro-wrestler, right? We could maybe try and hire her. I'm just now realizing that we don't have a pro-wrestler on staff, and that's an oversight I'd like to correct.
I would like to point out we got a 70 on the roll to get Marco. I doubt he's going to get snatched from under our nose unless we catastrophically mess up.
Nope. Unless Cazador wants to go work for Xanatos (which, considering DEI is sinking resources in finding Star, is unlikely), we don't owe him anything. We are CEOs, we don't get "dibs" on stuff.
To add on to this, I am pretty sure that Xanay is hiring Cazador to help deal with his Demona problem. Xanatos was probably pleasantly surprised to see Janna and the Gang there. He gets four bodies to throw at the problem for the price of one!
To add on to this, I am pretty sure that Xanay is hiring Cazador to help deal with his Demona problem. Xanatos was probably pleasantly surprised to see Janna and the Gang there. He gets four bodies to throw at the problem for the price of one!
I'm halfway expecting Janna to try and charge Xanatos hourly for her help, honestly. Xanatos would go along with it mostly for the amusement value, it's not like money is an issue.
Mmm... it's difficult to make any conclusions/assumptions about Fowl - without knowing how things played out, he could have developed (his tech/stratagems) in any number of ways.
Though, I wonder if perchance he may have decoded Jumba's signal? Whether he did so before or after us, it may simply be that we acted before he could/his plans came into fruition. Making us the wild card that ruined his plans... which would probably not be great.
That is, assuming his mother is still sick and he's looking into possible avenues to heal her.
Actually... didn't we experience a cyber attack a while back that we just assumed was Encom? Could it possibly have actually been Artemis?
"Four years!" Janna screamed. "Four years, and I didn't know if you were alive, or dead, or rotting in the Lizard's dungeon with your arms chopped off. Four years my friends were in trouble and I had to sit in a classroom for most of them pretending nothing was wrong!"
A pair of mobsters peeked into the room curiously. Lizzy shook her head at them.
....
"Janna… listen." Marco said, opening his arms. "I shouldn't have left you behind. I'm sorry. You've definitely proved yourself capable of helping."
The stat points towards a superhumanly capable cyber-attacker, with an extremely capable hero collaborating.
Artemis may or may not qualify for that 57 (and I am strongly inclined to think no), but that 48 would require him to be associated with one of the other supergenius from his books. So Opal, Minerva or Foaly, although that would explain the apparent low loyalty.
However, odds are still pretty good that this is the MCP flexing its muscles. The other known score for ENCOM is in the high 50s, too.
Artemis may or may not qualify for that 57 (and I am strongly inclined to think no), but that 48 would require him to be associated with one of the other supergenius from his books. So Opal, Minerva or Foaly, although that would explain the apparent low loyalty.
I think it is unlikely to be Artemis as well. Attack DoofOS is either a Martial, Stewardship, or Learning action. Artemis does not have 57 Martial and if Artemis had any traits, it probably would have been a +number trait like Alan Bradley's Concurrent User, rather than Semi-Phenonemal, Nearly Cosmic. I do not think that he is good enough to have 57 Stewardship. In any case, he does not have 57 Learning. Experiment 625 has 45 Learning. Artemis is not smarter than he is and I doubt he is smarter than Doof or Ludivine.
Hah! Oh, wait, you were serious! Let me laugh even harder!
Artemis can make a neat computer, Doof can invent chicken-based universal teleportation and dimensional travel, non-chicken based dimensional travel, time travel, enlarge the entire universe, and muck about with abstract concepts.
While Artemis kidnaps fairies, Xanatos goes toe-to-toe with the Fairy King Oberon himself (and loses, admittedly). The gap on this one is not as large, but that old adage about old age and treachery beating youth and enthusiasm applies.
Nope. Unless Cazador wants to go work for Xanatos (which, considering DEI is sinking resources in finding Star, is unlikely), we don't owe him anything. We are CEOs, we don't get "dibs" on stuff.
Hey, that sister went to the U.S. to be a pro-wrestler, right? We could maybe try and hire her. I'm just now realizing that we don't have a pro-wrestler on staff, and that's an oversight I'd like to correct.
TBF Doof never piloted an Island through time with just his brain. And Xanatos never had to make plans while litteraly on the run and all his memories of the person he was planning against wiped out.
Artemis strikes a Middle ground between the two he's sneakier then Doof (by a wide margin) and he's more tech savvy then Xanatos.
He's going to be Formidable especially if he's expanding his organizationwhich gives him a chance to really flex his stuff.
now here's the question has it been two years since his last plot or have they been going at the same time?
It is also worth noting that some of Doof's more amazing accomplishments have been retconned here, so this version of Doof isn't quite as impressive (though still really impressive).
I can't really comment on how he compares to Artemis since I haven't read any of those books.
"Get your assault gear ready, Fireside girls! Noodle Burger Boy has stolen all the frying oil in Danville! He's trying to steal Hanukah, and we only have 8 days to stop him!"
The furor in the Fireside girls' lounge was palpable at Isabella Garcia-Shapiro's announcement. Beside her stoic on the outside, but clearly eager for a nefarious foe to oppose, stood Candace Flynn.
"We learned of Noodle-Burger Boy's nefarious plot thanks to Fireside girl Candace Flynn-Fletcher! Her connections with the staff at Mr. Slushy allowed us to gain intelligence on this threat far before anyone else. We are currently the only force in Danville that can stop him. Who's with me girls? Are you ready to save Hanukah!?"
The cheer from the fireside girls was deafening. The lodge was a flurry of activity as they switched out their normal uniforms for their black combat uniforms. The fireside girls were going to war!
_________________
The abandoned warehouse five blocks away from the newly renamed Mount Doofhawk was unseasonably festive, outside, stood a mannequin of a tall Caucasian man with white hair and a short beard in a white linen suit with a white vest and a pair of black glasses on his face. On his head sat a Santa hat, and in his hands, a large red and white striped bucket. he stood sentry outside the warehouse, which itself was bedecked in an assortment of holly wreaths and garlands.
There was only one entrance, but windows high on the second floor of the building allowed the fireside girls camped on the surrounding roofs a bit of insight into what was going on inside.
Noodle Burger Boy, the diabolical fiend, was pacing back and forth around a large black cauldron of frying oil as various robotic arms shook in seven shakers each full of what looked like one giant reserve of an herb or spice. the names of which were all blacked out on their containers. A large conveyor belt was dumping whole chickens, as well as parts thereof, into the boiling cauldron, and another robotic arm with what looked like a fishing net on the end, or perhaps a wire basket, was pulling the newly fried chickens out again.
Isabella silently signaled her troop using the approved Fireside girls block ops infiltration hand signs. One Enemy. Robot. Possible Robotic minions.
The fireside girls surrounding her nodded, and Ginger withdrew the official fireside girls gas-powered Grappling hook and rappel line launcher.
She carefully hoisted it onto her shoulder in a smooth and practiced motion, sighted down the barrel targeting a spot right above an open window, and fired.
With a soft 'Bap!' the payload hit home, drilling into the concrete wall of the warehouse. Gretchen grabbed the trailing end and proceeded to secure it to pipework on the roof, tying a sailor's knot to keep it secure.
With the line secure and their access point waiting, Katie distributed their tools; pocket tasers and claw hammers. the Plan was simple, use the hammers to get access to the machine's internals, and stop noodle burger boy with the tasers. After that was done, they could file a report with the police and norm-bots would be sent to clean up everything else. Simple.
They couldn't just report to the norm-bots initially, they didn't have the capability to handle noodle burger boy. To be honest, neither did the Fireside girls. That's why they brought in a ringer. A former fireside girl from out of state, Juniper. She's listed her services for hire on short term projects in order to gain cash flow to rent an apartment in the area. Between her and Candace Flynn, Isabella was sure that they would be able to wreck the machines and save Hanukah!
Everyone checked their gear to make sure it was in working order. Juniper had forgone her makeup, and her usual hair style to keep her hair in a tight bun at the nape of her neck. She was wearing her fireside girl black combat uniform, same as all the rest of her team. There would be no heroics here. The job was simple, disable Noodle Burger Boy, and save Hanukah.
Juniper was the first fireside girl on the line and through the window. She landed silently in a picture perfect crouch as she finished her flip, legs spread and arms out like a cat. She moved into the shadows of the Warehouse to make room for the rest of her team. Isabella, Milly, Katie, Ginger , Gretchen, Holly, and Adyson all landed perfectly and scattered into hiding. Now it was time for their distraction.
Candace Flynn came barreling through the window at high speed and slammed straight into Noodle burger boy's titanium alloy frame, knocking him over.
"Golly Mister! You're not supposed to be here!" Noodle burger boy announced cheerfully.
"And you're not supposed to be stealing Hanukah!" Candace retorted.
"Gee Mister! you've got me all figured out!" Noodle Burger boy replied. "How did you discover that I stole all the fry oil so that i could enact my evil plan?"
"The same way every great detective does," Candace replies. "Plenty of practice."
Juniper carefully moved behind Noodle Burger Boy. Oil was incredibly flammable, so she needed to make sure that this was done right. No collateral damage. Her leg swung up, and with a picture perfect Axe Kick, a bolt of lightning was launched straight at Noodle Burger Boy.
The entire room was tense, this was it, if this missed then...
Noodle Burger boy kicked up a silver mirror and used it to deflect the bolt, straight into the giant cauldron of boiling oil.
Fire erupted, and Isabella, knowing her fire safety guidelines by heart, ordered the evacuation. "Leave! leave! leave! Now!"
The fireside girls fled as the entire warehouse went up in flames.
They'd thwarted Noodle Burger Boy's nefarious plot, but... without the fry oil, they hadn't managed to save Hanukah at all.
___
Seven days later, it was December 23rd, and things looked bleak for Hanukah.
Without the oil to fry the latkes, who could enjoy the holiday?
It was then that Candace rushed into the fireside girls lodge, panting and out of breath. "I talked to Vanessa and she talked to her dad, apparently, they're having a bunch of issues with food storage. Her dad ordered a whole lot of pumpkin seed oil for a Halloween party that he never actually threw, and they never used it! They had a buyer around 7 days back, but he never showed up to claim the purchase, and the check for the money was never deposited! The oil's still usable, but since the sale fell through, and he has no need for 500 gallons of pumpkin seed oil, Vanessa said we could have it! Hanukah is back on!"
The fireside girls cheered. They'd saved Hanukah after all!
The End
So, Noodle Burger Boy's Plan was to turn Christmas into a holiday solely for couples by using the unholy savory power of fried chicken with seven secret herbs and spices. The mannequin outside was actually a robot minion, but they bypassed that fight entirely. Unbeknownst to the fireside girls, they actually saved Christmas as well! And ruined a cute romantic opportunity for both Candace and Isabella. Hopefully no one ever tells them the true cost of their heroism.
Excellent updoot. Big fan. Seems like Xany was hiring some extra magic muscle against Demona schemes and "HEY! Xany my boy! Looks like you're trying to subdue a magical nemesis
need some help?
We recommend using DEI contacts to increase your effective agents on scene!" - DoofOS version of Clippy
Artemis Fowl was a good book series. The reason he is in the US is obvious. The Disney franchises in Doofquest are Ameriocentric and the rest of the world may or may not actually exist. Therefore, he has to breach into America in order to have relevance.
Related: Remember the "blessing in disguise" we would be bumping into that is hyperactive? The one that speculation was "Star, Drossel, Fred"?
Could be an Artemis Fowl character. Holly could work (but I remember nothing of the series but Butler to be honest, so maybe not lol). Extra bonus for her showing up in a holiday update (name: Holly). Extra bonus for showing up after solving the TARA cipher. Extra bonus for her, in DVV, having somehow lost her position due to villains winning. Extra bonus for her being "grounded" (Wordplay on punished via grounding. Wordplay on living underground as race.).
Could also be a hyperactive Artemis Fowl that messes with us initially and then later joins us. Wordplay on being a grounded "Mudman". More likely than Holly to actually be obstructive/problem before becoming helpful. More likely than Holly to have figured out that our coffee machines have a potion making setting. More likely than Holly to be punching holes in DoofOS for fun. More likely than Holly to have interest in how our Inator's work, considering that they do things that should frankly not be possible.
In addition, the hostile fairy with a voicebox that was spying on us at the auction? Could be Lep-Recon contracted work observing us because of our increasing magical inroads. Titania and Oberon and Gargoyles lore getting tied with the Fowl lore in regards to Fairies would be interesting and possible. That would make them a major player in this event, and would give Toffee a second faction of anti-human genocidal types willing to sign up for his cause (once Demona finds him)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Verdict: I believe the prophecy is likely talking about Artemis Fowl coming in off the top rope to mess with us. In messing with us, he will uncover Kat's sabotage and conspiracy. By teaming up with us, he will be very helpful. We are locating a magical princess from another dimension. If Holly is missing, Fowl may choose to ask us for assistance in the locating and recovery of Holly which would be synergistic narrative.
Especially if Holly ends up somehow teaming up with Star somewhere, which would be funny.
Due to time wibblies, Artemis may be anywhere from age 13 to age 19. 20 is too old, 19 is pushing it, my guess would be 16-17. I believe that, in the world of DVV, Artemis is likely to have attempted redemption and been punished for it a few times. Artemis somehow having been imprisoned at St Canard is not impossible (though I don't think it's likely).
In addition, the hostile fairy with a voicebox that was spying on us at the auction? Could be Lep-Recon contracted work observing us because of our increasing magical inroads. Titania and Oberon and Gargoyles lore getting tied with the Fowl lore in regards to Fairies would be interesting and possible. That would make them a major player in this event, and would give Toffee a second faction of anti-human genocidal types willing to sign up for his cause (once Demona finds him)
MiH, indeed, Disney Villains Victorious in general has avoided this type of universe fusion. We know that the speaker was Molly, who is the human alias of the Banshee.
It is possible that Holly would be a new hero unit, but I doubt it. She does not strike me as the kind of person who would reach out to Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated. Artemis Fowl is also far too independent to join us.
Edit: Artemis Fowl is almost certainly not behind the attacks on DoofOS for reasons I have already explained @JowKeen
I think it is unlikely to be Artemis as well. Attack DoofOS is either a Martial, Stewardship, or Learning action. Artemis does not have 57 Martial and if Artemis had any traits, it probably would have been a +number trait like Alan Bradley's Concurrent User, rather than Semi-Phenonemal, Nearly Cosmic. I do not think that he is good enough to have 57 Stewardship. In any case, he does not have 57 Learning. Experiment 625 has 45 Learning. Artemis is not smarter than he is and I doubt he is smarter than Doof or Ludivine.
TBF Doof never piloted an Island through time with just his brain. And Xanatos never had to make plans while litteraly on the run and all his memories of the person he was planning against wiped out.
Artemis strikes a Middle ground between the two he's sneakier then Doof (by a wide margin) and he's more tech savvy then Xanatos.
He's going to be Formidable especially if he's expanding his organizationwhich gives him a chance to really flex his stuff.
now here's the question has it been two years since his last plot or have they been going at the same time?
Yeah, more or less. Artemis isn't quite on par with Xanatos's Intrigue (Not only is Xanatos better at socializing, but he's had more time to build up contacts and a network. Artemis is smart, but Xanatos has been smart longer, basically.) and he's no where near Doof's Learning (I mean, the C-Cube is impressive, but it's bootstrapped fairy tech, not entirely his own, and Doof can rewrite the laws of physics with a device he built in a single afternoon), but he's pretty damn good. He's kinda a slightly-lower-tier-Xanatos, i'd guess.
No need to be an asshole, I was drunk last night and freaking out over the implications. Stop being a dick to people on this quest, I know this isn't the first time.
No need to be an asshole, I was drunk last night and freaking out over the implications. Stop being a dick to people on this quest, I know this isn't the first time.
Hey, I apologize. That was actually a meme I was quoting, I meant it as a joke. And yeah, I can be a bit of a dick at times, that is (mostly) unintentional on my part. I don't always express myself well, I acknowledge that and I'm trying to improve on it. Sorry again if I offended you, I really didn't mean to.
Take Aladdin for example, I'd argue that he's an intrigue character, because he is, he outsmarts and outmaneuvers his foes through trickery and cleverness, but he's not a plotter and despite being a thief he's not a spy type like Russ either.
I know he's not canon to the quest, but Aladdin is just a great example of the impulse thinker.
Xanatos might be better at the long, intricate plots that rely on knowing exactly what people are likely to do and arranging things so he wins no matter what type of intrigue, but that doesn't necessarily mean he's better at the think fast, surrounded by danger, can't disengage easily, you have to deal with this personally and you have no idea whats going on type of intrigue.
Granted, he's less likely to find himself in that kind of situation, but still. There are different kinds of Intrigue, just like Learning and Martial. Von Drake has the higher general Learning Stat, but if we are doing AI I'd want Wendy cause that's the type of Learning she specializes in. Lizzy's Martial of 28 is a lot higher then Dennis's of 17, but if the two were to have a fist fight I'd bet on Dennis.
A fun read, classic action, and a canon threadmark for managing to toe the line between 'relevant to the quest' and 'not getting in the way of future interludes. Canon!, and 500xp.
I'm a bit sad this didn't become canon, same goes for its follow up. Still an excellent piece of character writing, and something I'll be factoring in to Janna all the same. 750 XP for a lot of effort.
