They seem like they'd get along betterish. In any case I like the idea of Lizzy going out to help her (only?) friend more in the narrative sense than Hego finally finding his ground.
Kitsune can take Diplomacy actions in NYC with Xanatos or magical new york and isn't that big of a delta loss if we decide not to do those and don't have her; Tom, Hego, and Lizzy aren't in demand for national actions
Be warned: Any hero sent on this quest must perform a National Action next turn taking place in New York City. If they don't, then whatever action they do take either runs without them or, if it's a personal action, is wasted.
Maybe I am misreading this, but I seem to have a different reading of this warning than other people.
As I read it, if we are sending three people we have to commit the three heroes involved to national actions, no opt out clause to this.
That's the important part. We're perfectly happy wasting personal actions here, since while Lizzy has some kinda neat stuff none of the people in the running are Technor.
Why is it his time, though? This should be Janna's time. It would be one thing if Hego could share, but we saw how that encounter with the drug dealer went.
Its Hego's time because he can fight without ruining our rolls via protecting civies. Also sending a superhero in this time of crisis makes us look good
Hm. Near universal consensus for Tom and Kitsune, who together have a lot of Martial and Occult, with Kitsune also shoring up Diplomacy and making Intrigue strong. The problem is that Stewardship and Learning are both gaps... Hego kinda covers Stewardship, Lizzy admirably covers Learning. It's probably gonna be one or the other, and voting is tight between them.
Hm. Near universal consensus for Tom and Kitsune, who together have a lot of Martial and Occult, with Kitsune also shoring up Diplomacy and making Intrigue strong. The problem is that Stewardship and Learning are both gaps... Hego kinda covers Stewardship, Lizzy admirably covers Learning. It's probably gonna be one or the other, and voting is tight between them.
Well, August 17th, soon. Give it a few more time zones.
Max Goof wasn't exactly feeling … let's go with charitable ...towards his employer, at the moment. in fact, to put it bluntly: he was furious. Rip-snorting, duckzerking, bull-in-a-red-colored-china-shop livid.
...okay, maybe not so much anymore. He was, earlier, sure. Funny thing, though: the further they got away from Xanadu, the less incandescent he felt about everrything. Weird.
Long story short: Max was frustrated with Heinz Doofenschmirtz, and thoroughly so. But even in this sour mood he found himself glued onto, he could recognize a bad idea when he saw one. His boss gave him that company credit card for emergencies only; using it frivolously was sure to be a recipe for even further disaster than this trap had already been.
However...
"Stupid magic! Stupid archaeologists. Stupid Gargoyles, and, and mountain passes and stupid… freezing cold weather."
...after this particular outing, chartering a private plane back home with first-class accommodations and plenty of breathing space was absolutely an emergency.
"Stupid! Stupid freaking! STUPID freaking snow-infested steppes and stupid 'Evil Benefits' for making me put up with all of it! I didn't sign up for any of this, this fighting! And this magic!" Max 'harrumphed', sinking into his extremely cushy seat and letting his elbows rest on the entire table he had entirely to himself. "As pops would say – gawrsh."
Sardonic attitude practically melting a hole in the aluminum, Max considered the arrangements he found himself in. Minifridge, stocked to the brim with soda. Widescreen television. Heating, turned up to max blast. Private bathroom with a shower. And, again, extremely cushy seats. All in all, everything that a man who ranted to himself when he was angry could want, and all in total privacy.
"At least it's finally all over with," Max grumbled, looking out the window, as though to prove to himself that the mean old adventure was really gone; it couldn't hurt him any more. "Gah. Can't believe I've got a 'Top Three' worst trips ever under my belt, now."
"Heck of a thing to say when the plane hasn't even landed yet, dude."
So much for privacy.
Max looked up, and wasn't precisely surprised to see Janna'd invited herself into the room. Metaphorically speaking, it was all she ever did. "Eh. Point. Like dear ol' uncle Arizona always says: trip ain't over 'til you hit the ground. We could spiral ourselves into a tailspin any second, now!"
Janna nodded, seeing the sage advice for what it was. "Before we go all Donner Party, I just wanna say: dibs on Ludivine's dark meat."
"Hah!" Max barked, before turning more fully towards oddly, one of his closest friends. " Heyyyyy, weirdo."
"Hey, dweeb. Hey, dork. Hey, villain." Oh, no. She was in a mood. An annoying, eyebrow-waggling, smirkity smirk smirk mood. "Hey, uh … hey. Hey, man. Yo, even."
In response, Max squinted. Suspiciously. "...huh," he eventually said.
"Huzzat?" Janna asked, sudden, eyes darting around beneath his inspection.
"Where's, uh …" Max coughed, and looked around. "Where's, um, 'ya boi'?"
"Oh, Felldrake?" Janna asked. "Meditating, in dark places of deep solitude, upon the ancient wisdom of these magical mysteries - Shengxiao, Gargoyles, and the spirit of the Khan himself - that have arranged themselves before us."
0-0-0-0
"...one million vials of blood on the wall, one million vials of blood … take one down, pass it around … kill the vampire with the nearest stake ..."
0-0-0-0
"Either that or I shoved him in the overhead compartment after he got too chatty. One of the two."
"Huh, weird how you can't remember which one."
Janna snorted, then … softened. "...listen, dude. You, uh, you mind if I just, like …I dunno." Rubbing one arm with her other hand for a moment, Janna indicated the seat across from Max. "This seat taken?"
"Be my guest." Max acquiesced with a grandiose, regal wave. "After all, heh, wouldn't be a 'worst trip ever' without you, right?"
"Oh, ho, dang!" Janna grinned, sitting down. "Some bite to go with that bark! Bonus."
"Ah, heh, heh," Max stood, walking over to the fridge. "Um. Sorry."
"Nuh-uh, man. You said it; you gotta own it, and there's no way I'm not gonna be proud of you for it." Janna caught the orange soda Max threw at her without really looking at it. "That right there? Expert burn. I'm not gonna waste your time and mine playing pretend otherwise. And, uh, besides, I …"
The drink fizzed as she opened it, and a good quarter of its contents disappeared down her throat before she gave an awkward smile.
"We both know I totally deserve it."
Max blinked as he sat down, opening his root beer. "Say what?"
Janna belched, loud and long, before striking her chest with her fist a couple times. "Ah, there we go. Look: promise you'll never let it get around that an authority figure said something useful, that actually made me reconsider something I was doing?"
"Oh, shoot," Max sipped at his own drink. "This is a dark dawn we're flying into, here."
"I know, right? Anyway, erm." The can made a clunking noise as she set it down. "I talked to Technor, recently?"
"Is 'talking to Technor' a euphemism?" Max asked. "Say, for ... 'I changed Technor's display when he wasn't looking so it played Epic Rap Battles of History all day long'?"
"Strangely enough, no; that one was actually not me."
"Huh."
"Point is," Janna leaned back, looking out the window for a few moments. "I … "
She trailed off.
"Janna?" Max asked. "You okay? You're, uh … kinda freakin' me out, here?"
"What do you wanna do?" Janna asked, all of a sudden, smiling and bright-eyed and meeting Max's gaze head-on.
"Whuzzat?" Max blinked, then looked around. He didn't often listen to his Toonish instincts, but for goodness' sake, knowing where the camera was would at least ground him. "Whaddya mean, what do I wanna do?"
Janna giggled, which wasn't a very Janna-like thing to do, but maybe it was the air pressure. "I mean, y'know, after the inevitable plummeting from the sky in a ball of flame and surviving the deserted island we end up washing ashore on? After we make it back to civilization, car rides, and coffee." She snorted, raising her can of soda to her lips but not actually drinking. "Or, you know, assuming somehow that this plane somehow manages to make it all the way back to 'Doofania' ..."
"What's next on Max Goof's grand agenda?" Max cottoned on.
"'Xactly."
"Pretty sure I'm gonna hit up this bookstore downtown. Paper Nick's, I think they call it?" He shrugged, sipped some more. "Eh, standard terrible name, sure, but they sell a good cuppa joe – bitter as a breakup and so thick you need a knife."
"Nice," Janna nodded. More of her soda disappeared, all at once. "I can dig that."
"Not to mention," Max continued, "Nick's does a, kinda sorta, slam poetry reading every Friday. Open mic!"
Janna blinked, now. "Slam who?" So did her voice, somehow. "Poetry how? Open pardon?"
"Got into the stuff back in college," Max smirked, then paused. "Well, uh, more like a buddy of mine did? I sorta picked it up myself, after …" A low chuckle, a smile more bitter than any coffee cup. "Let's just say this plane won't be the first exploding aircraft I've been involved with."
"Yeeee," Janna flinched.
"Yeah," Max sighed, shrugged, tried for a softer smile. "Eh, nothin' to do about it other than write bad poetry, right?"
Janna considered this. "Yeah, I could see that." She chuckled. "'Sides, not like I've got any room to talk, right?"
"John Keats?" Max smirked.
"Genghis Khan," Janna countered. "Doof can say he's a one-time thing all he wants; I'm the girl with the black magic staff who knows where they keep the best graveyards."
"if you happen to find my hopes and dreams buried somewhere out there, lemme know before any necromancy occurs? I'd like to be there."
"You got it, hapless minion," Janna winked. "Anywho, cool if me and Vanessa tag along?"
Max was thrown for just a second. Friendship with Janna meant adapting to, uh, adapting. "Well, I'm flattered you think I compare to the John Keats, buuuuut …"
"I mean, hey, if the big dog's too much of a scaredy-cat to let us two lovely ladies listen in to his inner turmoils, that's cool. Totally get it. Scaredy cat."
"Alright, then, if you'll excuse me," Max said, stretching, making to get up from his seat, "I've got a date with a parachute. Which way's the, uh, emergency exit, again?"
"Wha – no!" Janna – there was no other word for it – panicked, standing up more than Max was pretending to, grabbing his shirt. "No, don't, I mean – ugh." She let go again, seeming to realize what she was doing. "Uuuuuugh."
"I, uh," Max blinked. "I was joking?"
Instead of responding verbally, Janna chugged the rest of her drink, then repeatedly slammed her forehead into the table in front of her. "Why. Am. I. So. Bad. At. This. Stuff?"
"Cool," said Max, far too calmly, sitting back down. "Cool, cool cool. Glad to know we can both communicate so effectively."
Janna barked out a laugh, rubbing her only-slightly-bruised forehead. "See, see – this is what I went to see Technor for."
"I mean, I'm not gonna lie," Max shrugged, "Sort of reconsidering who the mic needs to be open for, this Friday. Kinda seems like you're hoarding all the poetry angst for yourself, here. Not to mention the slam for, uh, slamming."
"Rage, rage, this world a stage, and -" Janna blew a raspberry, dropping the melodrama. "I've forgotten all my lines."
"You joke – that is verbatim a poem I've heard at one of these things." Max paused, then chuckled. "Sure you still wanna show up? That level of, ahem, quality, is preeeeetty consistent."
"Yeah, 'cause -" Janna answered too quickly. "We – hrm." Wayyyy too quickly. "Okay, so. Like. Hmm. When we -"
More pausing.
Janna scratched her head.
"Need a moment?" Max asked, the picture of innocence.
"I'm gonna find the magical equivalent of a can of snakes and I'm going to enchant every cup of coffee you have for the next two weeks to do it."
"Promises, promises," Max shrugged with one shoulder.
"See, that's easy, because, like -" Janna growled. "I mean."
"Yes, you are mean," Max raised an eyebrow.
"YES!"
And then the other one. He also nearly vacated his chair, but that had little to do with anything.
"Yes," Janna repeated. "I am mean. Because -" she gathered up the air in front of her with clawing hands. "Gah! Because I don't mean to be. Because I don't mean the meanness, y'know?"
Again, palling around with Janna took … well, it took improvisational skills. Thinking on your feet. An ability to roll with punches that mere tooniness alone would never allow. You evolved, around the magical girl, whether you wanted to or not.
You needed an ability to surprise even yourself, in order to get by.
"You …" Max mentally checked his work, startled at his own conclusions, before continuing. "You aren't able to say the sincere stuff, huh? Too personal, too – real?" He leaned back, folding his arms over each other. "So! You're stuck with the stuff you don't mean, and – uh oh- that just leaves the jokes."
Janna scoffed – not directed at him. "I know what I'm thinking. I don't know why I can't just make those thoughts … solid?"
"Real."
"...real."
"Wow," Max said, somehow managing to draw a single syllable out into an epiphany. "Can't even say the word, huh?"
Janna chewed an invisible bite of an imaginary foodstuff. "I'm a lot more messed up in the head than I realized, aren't I?"
Max considered this. "Eh. Maybe?"
"That's a 'yes, Janna, you've completely lost it. Please excuse me while i look for the nearest straitjacket'."
"Maybe that, too." For a moment, Max considered the remainder of his drink, then ... set it aside, mostly untouched. "But I think, uh … well." He chuckled. "We've established that this trip is far from over, right?"
Janna blinked. "Yeah?"
Max put his arms behind his head, and relaxed. "Wake me up if you gotta," he said. "'Til then, we've got, like … I dunno. A whole buncha hours to figure out what the heck we're supposed to be saying."
Janna chuckled. "Yeah," she said, joining his gaze onto the countryside. "Yeah, I guess we do."
The evening rolled by. Constellations, mountain ranges. All that jazz.
"Thanks, Max," Janna murmured.
"Yeah, yeah," Max murmured, closing his eyes.
0-0-0-0
"Eight-hundred thousand five hundred and sixty seven bottles of blood on the wall, eight-hundred thousand five hundred and sixty seven bottles of blood … take one down, pass it around … something about mosquitos … I survived centuries trapped in a temple by magic orthogonal to mine own; why is a metal tube with delusions of goosehood what stymies me?"
0-0-0-0
Max awoke with a snort. "Wuh -wha -" he blinked around blearily before looking up to – "Ah. Yo, sup."
Janna. Looking, oddly, a little chagrined. "Hey, there, Sleeping Beauty,"
Max stretched, groaning. "Please tell me nobody kissed me."
"Temujin said it was his duty as leader, man," Janna shrugged, "I dunno what to tell ya."
Max laughed pretty hard, for just having woken up. "You, uh. You get things figured out, or…" he yawned. "Or are we just finally falling out of the sky?"
"'Bout equally likely, right?" Janna asked, small smirk, before scratching the back of her head. "I, uh. Wasn't actually planning on waking you. Just kinda …"
Wordlessly, she bumped her knee against the edge of the seat she was walking past, much more lightly than she had just a moment ago.
"Ah. More slams," Max said, rubbing his eyes, mumbling his words. "Collectin' bruises, eh?"
"Sorry."
"Nah, 's'fine," Max yawned again, letting his seat recline. "I can get back to sleep pretty quick, us-"
"Sorry I can't figure out what to say to people I care about."
That woke him up fully.
Max returned his seat to the upright position, turning over to look at Janna. "...it's okay?"
Janna stared at nothing for a while, before turning her head to look at him.
"Chicken butt," she said, hint of a smile, wiggling her fingers.
"Uhhhhhh?" Max tried.
Janna snorted. "Worth a shot," she said, before walking away. "I should let Felldrake out of his box before Leopold goes looking for him. You, uh, get some sleep, Ma-"
"Hey, hang on a sec."
Janna stopped, and turned, and looked Max up and down, evidently unsure why he was standing in the middle of the aisle. "Yeah, 'sup?"
He didn't respond verbally.
Just opened his arms.
Just smiled.
For a handful, and a handful more of moments: silence, crisp and clean. Bulletproof.
And then, all at once, there was -
- there was a choked, little gasp -
- tears welled up in her widening eyes -
- boots thumping on carpet, the softening of heavy blows -
- and Janna fell into the hug with such desperate force that Max had to take a couple steps back to avoid taking her down with him.
"I'm sorry," Janna sobbed, clutching at Max's shoulders. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry that I never ask where you wanna go, or what you wanna do when we hang out, and – and I'm sorry that-"
"It's okay," Max murmured.
"I'm sorry I'm always making fun of you all the stupid time." Janna sniffled – it didn't help much. "I don't want to make you feel less, I just, I've lost so many friends already, and..."
"It's okay, Janna," Max repeated, rubbing hopefully-soothing circles.
"It isn't!" Her voice was strangled, the way she clutched his shoulders desperate. "It isn't okay. Just because I'm scared all the time is no reason to -" She gulped, and coughed, and generally got Max's shirt grody. "I shouldn't be hiding. Not from you guys."
Max considered this. The circles kept rolling.
Janna continued, between ugly, heavy sobs: "You're – heh – you're right." Grrrrnkh. "I am mean. So mean." She burrowed her head into his shoulder as best as she could. "I'm sorry I'm not a very good friend."
"...well," Max said, at long last, trying to both give Janna space and keep her close – hugs were weird, when you thought about it. "To be honest, yeah, you're not always the nicest person I've met … got a real scorpion sting on ya, pretty sarcastic, and as far as I can tell you never met a wallet you didn't wanna finger through, but …"
He laughed, sounding oddly like his father. Right down to the "Gyuh-huck."
"I know you, Janna. You're one of the good ones."
And wonder of wonders, that actually got a laugh out of her. Steady, strong, and only, eh, slightly hysterical. "I don't wanna hurt you anymore," she mumbled, after the guffaws finally faded, the sobs finally cleared.
"Hey, I'm grumpy, not fragile," Max rolled his eyes. "Sure, if you're offering, than yeah, toning down the teasing would be appreciated, but …" He pulled back, hands on shoulders, looking Janna in the eyes. "Coffee's better when it's bitter. I'm totally screwing myself over by saying this, but I'd miss it if you stopped."
He paused.
"Miss you."
Janna sobbed once more, her weak smile wobbling outwards, and hugged him again, and this time -
"Oof," Max tried to breathe in. "Alright. Guess we're sleeping on the floor tonight; that's cool."
"Ah!" Janna said, shooting off of him. "My bad!"
"Nope," Max grabbed her, and pulled her back down. "Taking you down with me. Sleeping on the floor? Not an idle observation. That was a command."
Janna did something halfway between a snicker and a scoff, but – "Yeah, cause this position isn't anything like compromising." - she wrapped her arms back around him, nevertheless.
"If anyone catches us, we'll say you drugged me," Max reasoned. "That seems believable for you, doesn't it?"
Janna snorted. "Dork. Dweeb. Villain."
Max sighed, so deeply it had to be put upon. "So much for not being mean. Alas, alack."
"Poetry night's Friday, but point taken." Janna said, snuggling up. Warm, and soft, and present, as the moon leaked through the window. "...thank you, Max."
"Hey," he murmured back. "What are friends for, right?"
Janna hummed, her eyes sliding shut. "Good night."
Max pat her head, twice. Somehow, she managed the soft hair even under the beanie. "Good night, weirdo."
And as the two of them nudged and poked and tickled and eventually drifted off to sleep, the world passing them by at such speeds as they'd never known before, Max considered to himself that … maybe this wasn't the "Worst Trip Ever," after all.
...still top three, though.
Janna mentioned needing to apologize to Max for treating him poorly, once their trip to Xanadu was over. While I'm sure she followed through, we never actually got to see that onscreen, and that made me sad. This is a slipshod, ramshackle, unedited attempt to fill in the blanks.
Asked for clarification in the Discord regarding the "must take national actions" thing. I got this from Arathnorn:
If you try to assign them to something other than new york, it'll run without them, but they can still go on the quest. They'll just be forced not to help with anything else next turn.
I take it to mean that the components of the New York team must absolutely be assigned to national actions, with said national actions being rolled without their bonus if assigned to something outside of NY proper.
Hm. Fair. OK, Hego's not a good contender for Stewardship alone, then, though it sure sounds like Janna could use the muscle and Hego the opportunity to shine in a conspicuous capacity. Especially against a gargoyle army, because while gargoyles are inhumanly strong and tough and all that... so is he. Gargoyles do not, on the whole, as I understand it, use guns and shit.
And I can't comment on whether gargoyles are unusually likely to fight dirty, but frankly he's more likely to get a straight fight out of them than he was out of drug dealers.
Its Hego's time because he can fight without ruining our rolls via protecting civies. Also sending a superhero in this time of crisis makes us look good
This actually sums up my problem with sending Hego pretty well. Tom, Kitsune, and Lizzy have a whole "weirdos teaming up to help their weird friend" thing, while Tom, Kitsune, and Hego have two thirds of that plus Hego. Tom's and Kitsune's narratives are the same either way, but while Lizzy reinforces them Hego is just there for Hego. He's going to be trying to arrest the magically conjured monsters or whatever these gargoyles are and hopefully-just-lecturing everyone else in the group about how unsporting they're being, and sure, maybe that's an experience Hego needs, but does he really have to have it now when we could otherwise get a solid climax to just about everything Janna's done all year?
Asked for clarification in the Discord regarding the "must take national actions" thing. I got this from Arathnorn:
If you try to assign them to something other than new york, it'll run without them, but they can still go on the quest. They'll just be forced not to help with anything else next turn.
I take it to mean that the components of the New York team must absolutely be assigned to national actions, with said national actions being rolled without their bonus if assigned to something outside of NY proper.
Does Hego still have the Ruby wings? Should be helpful to deal with the "flying" gargoyles.
Should we also put in the Dragon Breath so we would have a fire breathing, flying Hego that Rotwood might mistaken him for a dragon?
You guys realize the entire reason Hego sucks is because we never actually let him go out and do things? Him doing so bad in the wasteland is entirely our fault because we won't stop babying him and trying to let others shine instead. We need to actually let him do things or he will always suck.
All I know is that if we send Tom we need to give him the fire potion. Because while, yes, as a demon he can be on fire whenever he wants, he could always be more on fire. That's how buff stacking works, right?
