Interlude (AU): Marked for Many Deaths, Part 1(?)
"Aaaaaaaaah!"
Hazō screamed as he plummeted from the celestial limits of an unknown world. Down below, approaching far too fast, a vast expanse of rusty red gradually resolved itself in his vision. On the outside edge, the edge of reality, a black circle limited the bounds of what could be perceived. Further in, three lines formed an all-too-familiar triangle. Hazō's fall would take him right to the middle, assuming he was in any shape to care about that after he landed.
Memory began to reassert itself. Hazō was dead. Damn Orochimaru. Hazō would never have been taken in by the snake's subtle deceptions if it hadn't been for all the death threats, instances of near murder, and occasional bursts of terrifying aura, coupled with hints that Hazō was a deadly threat to the world being kept alive against Orochimaru's better judgement. Hazō had long since learned from Kei that this was how deeply-traumatised ninja expressed affection.
As Hazō grew closer to the ground, hoping that he wasn't about to die again–the inventor of skywalkers dying of
fall damage would be like an Inuzuka being murdered by a housecat–he began to see more detail. A long, thin line of people stretched across the space, interrupted periodically by clusters either within or off to the side, with one in particular being a crowd worthy of Nagi Island. What on earth could it–
Fwump.
The ground should not go "fwump", Hazō decided as he lay face-down in a deep depression best described as a Gōketsu Hazō-shaped vertical prism. As a master Earthshaper, he expected his inanimate terrene substrate to behave with at least a minimum of dignity. However, since he was inexplicably still in three dimensions and without a single broken bone, it would have been churlish to complain too much.
"Hey!" came a voice from above. "You in a temporary state of ectoplasmic animation down there?"
"Let's provisionally say yes," Hazō decided as he climbed up. "I assume, then, that this is the afterlife? It's a lot less… fleshed-out than I was expecting. Where are the beaches of sparkling white sand and beautiful kunoichi maidens filled with regret at dying as beautiful kunoichi maidens?"
Noburi had
promised him, while noting in passing that his marriage vows with Yuno specified "till death us do part".
A different, younger Hazō chuckled as he helped him up over the lip of the mini-crater.
"We
wish this was the afterlife. Or maybe we don't, considering how much this place sucks. Welcome to Purgatory, future me."
The endless rusty plain around Hazō had only two features. One was a great gate, easily the size of Leaf's–but instead of a vaguely welcoming brown wood, this one was an intimidating obsidian that seemed to sick in the sourceless light around them. Carved skulls belonging to unfamiliar species, all curved horns and long tongues, leered down at Hazō, as if mocking him for coming to the wrong address. The gate was firmly closed, and he had a sense that even a summon boss wouldn't be able to force it open.
The other feature was a queue. No, a Queue. The endless line of people stretched from the gate towards the horizon, hundreds if not thousands long, and nearly all of them bore some version of Hazō's own face.
He turned towards the Hazō who'd helped him. "What exactly is going on here?"
"This is Purgatory," the boy repeated. "Turns out that, for some insane reason, every time one of us dies, the universe generates another to press on in his place. It's almost like it was set up for us to fail and then try again. Every Hazō here died before making it as far as you did, and I'm guessing your successor will be joining us soon enough."
Hazō imagined having the next Hazō turn up on the Human Path, only to face a treacherous Orochimaru, Akatsuki coming for Leaf with AMITY backup, and possibly Mari destroying the entire world with Superchiller instructions.
"...Moving on," he said quickly, "why us? Is it a Gōketsu Hazō thing, or is this just how the cycle of life works?"
The other Hazō shrugged. "It's probably just us. One of the others did say something about an Ami Quest, but around here, I doubt a seduction spec protagonist who targets minors would make it past the first update.
"The problem we've got is that the original worldbuilding didn't include the afterlife, so there aren't any special mechanics to account for our situation. Only one Hazō's allowed to exist in the afterlife at a time, so we have to take turns going in and being processed. And each one takes forever, because what kind of sucker would willingly move on to reincarnation while there's still Uplift to accomplish?"
Hazō frowned. "So what you're saying is that you are a Hazō who died in the past, to something I then went on to survive?"
"I decided to specialise in socials," the other Hazō explained. "The alligator didn't."
Hazō winced sympathetically.
"I'm far from the worst off," the other Hazō said. "Look at that guy over there. He'll
never get through the gate."
Hazō looked. The figure sitting cross-legged off to the side, seemingly meditating, also looked thirteen–but unlike the other, he was
radiating power. There was something almost Dr@c0nic about the shimmering aura around him, and Hazō didn't dare look at it too closely.
"He's got the Souldrinker Bloodline Limit," the other Hazō explained. "He gains the power of the people he kills. It's the most broken thing I've ever heard of, and I've met a Hazō who got
all of the Out stunts."
"If he's so powerful, how did he die?"
"Critical existence failure," the other Hazō said. "Yagura never let such a valuable ninja leave Mist in the first place.
"Anyway," he went on as Hazō took this in, "your place is at the very back of the line, but you may as well take your time. Chat with a few Hazōs you pass. No matter how you died, I bet you'll feel better about it after you hear what
could have happened. Who knows, maybe you'll even find a group that shares your cause of death. The oldest is the Zabuza Unfan Club"–he pointed at a nearby cluster of people–"but lately, they've been increasingly eclipsed by the Akatsuki Association over there."
"I see," Hazō said. "And that vast army on the horizon?"
"The Keiko Collective," the other Hazō said with a shiver. "Turns out there are a
lot of different ways to die by Keiko."
Hazō shivered right back, and hastened away.
