Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

"Lord Orochimaru?" Hazō asked, the words becoming firm halfway through as he forcibly clamped down on his emotions. "We are agreed that you will have two weeks of exclusive access and then we may recall the items at any time? And that you will make all your research findings public?"

"Yes, yes," Orochimaru said, waving dismissively and not looking away from what he was doing. He had lifted the claw fragment up with a mix of chakra adhesion and repulsion that kept it balanced an inch from his skin. He was turning it back and forth and his forked tongue was extended a foot and a half, tasting the air around the Sageforsaken object.

"Lord Gōketsu?" Kabuto said, a verbal nudge that barely hinted at impatience. "Hazō? Would this be sufficient payment?"

Hazō looked to his clan mates. Noburi was furiously nodding with imploring eyes. Mari was frozen and offering no input.

"This is a very generous offer," Hazō said slowly. "I think I would be a fool not to accept it—"

"Excellent!" Doctor Yakushi said. "In that case—"

"BUT. I would be a fool not to accept it, but I want to make sure that we have the same understanding of what we're agreeing to."

Orochimaru froze for a moment, then dropped the claw back into the box, stood up, and turned to face Hazō. He stepped forward, standing at the precise distance that would be threatening if he were an inch closer.

"Speak."

Hazō resisted the urge to step back so that he didn't have to crane his neck to look at the much taller shinobi.

"Sir, I'm grateful for your offer and glad to—"

Orochimaru made a cutting gesture with one hand.

"Right, sorry. I want to be able to work with you in the future and that means being sure we both have the same understanding. You're giving us these"—he held up the papers—"and we're giving you exclusive access to all Dragon parts that we own, one at a time, for two weeks each. We'll deliver them anywhere you want, which presumably is your estate. Yes?"

"Yes, obviously." He spun one finger in the universal gesture for 'move it along'.

"The Gōketsu continue to own the parts and will reclaim them after your two-week period ends."

"Yes, yes." Impatience was audible in the Sannin's voice.

"Whichever parts you aren't using at a given time, the Gōketsu can do what we like with. Let others examine them, lock them away, whatever."

"We already agreed to that."

"The Gōketsu will swap parts upon request with a 24-hour maximum delay."

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed. "Do you intend to demand that I sit in an advocate's office to spell out every tiniest detail and sign a document to which the Hokage shall affix his seal, or are we making a deal as men?"

"We are making a deal as men, sir. That—" Halfway through the sentence his brain caught up to the tone of Orochimaru's words. Alarm bells clanged furiously in the back of his mind and he forced himself to smile in the friendliest way he could manage as he desperately sought to verbally swerve onto safer ground. "—is why I want to make sure we don't misinterpret anything and leave you feeling aggrieved, or disrupt your studies by mistake. You're the best person in Leaf, possibly in the world, to study these items. We want you to be able to investigate them and we want to have a good relationship with you going forward. We also want the rest of Leaf's experts to be able to look at them. That's all."

The annoyed glitter in Orochimaru's snake-slitted eyes lightened slightly. "A very nice bit of sucking up. I applaud you. Move it along."

"Right." Hazō licked his lips, thinking furiously. "Okay, um...lost my place." He looked down and started ticking points off on his fingers, mumbling to himself. "We'll share all of the Dragon parts we have. We'll deliver and pick up from your lab or wherever else you specify. You'll have each piece for two weeks, one at a time. They still belong to the Gōketsu. Other people can study whichever ones you aren't using. Everything that you or anyone else discovers is to be shared with the Tower, and hopefully they will distribute it back to everyone else. All tests, by you or anyone else, should be non-destructive...ah, right." He looked back up. "The tests should be non-destructive, although we're open to negotiating for destructive testing. We're even willing to talk about outright selling you one or more of the parts if you're interested. Not promising to do it, but we're open to talking about it." He glanced at the box containing the scale and the claw fragment. "Actually, how about we keep things simple? Those two pieces are already here and it would be a pain to get a new box so that we can take one back to the estate. You can take them both as your first installment. In two weeks we'll swap both items out for a single item of your choice. Oh, and we'll get you a list of what we have. Fair?"

"Hm." Orochimaru looked away, lips pursed in thought. "Reasonable, although I may need to take a few small shavings, and I intend to use some acids that may cause discoloration or slight pitting of a small area. Acceptable?"

"Yes sir."

Orochimaru glanced down at the papers in Hazō's hand, the ones that contained a massive fortune and that he had so casually tossed on the table. "You have your payment. Unless there's anything else...?"

"No sir. Thank you."

The Snake Sannin nodded curtly. He turned away and flipped the lid of the granite-lined box closed, then hoisted the entire massive weight onto his shoulder and casually walked off with a "Kabuto, attend" that sent the doctor scurrying in his wake.

The Gōketsu stood in silence and watched the two men go. Only when they turned the corner of the block and disappeared from sight did Mari sag back into her chair.

"What a nice man," she said.


They made it almost to the door of Hokage Tower before anyone spoke again. It was their bright, cheerful, optimistic member who finally broke the silence.

"Hazō, I've got your back no matter what," Noburi said, "but I feel like every time we're anywhere near that guy one of us almost dies."

"Seconded," Mari said. "He's dangerous, Hazō. Be very careful about how you interact with him."

"Definitely," Hazō said. "Definitely, definitely, definitely. He's scary as shit." He sighed. "But, end of the day, that did go pretty well. We got a lot and we gave up very little. We were going to let people investigate the Dragon parts no matter what. Orochimaru just paid us a ton of ryō plus a treasure trove of arcane knowledge for something that he could have had most of for nothing. Good afternoon." The last words and the accompanying nod were to the desk chūnin who was both the receptionist that screened and dispatched visitors and also the first guard in the rings of protections that encircled the Hokage's office.

"May I help you, sir?" The man's eyes flicked across each of them, an instinctive threat check.

"We're here to visit the treasury," he said, gesturing with the blank-note draft that Orochimaru had given him. "I have a note to cash in."

"Certainly, sir. Down the hall to your right, second door."

"Thank you."

Mari and Noburi trailed him down the hall under the vaulted ceilings from which oil lamps hung like inverted scarecrows, chasing away the gloom of what was a fortress before it was a center of administration. They followed him into a room that had originally been intended as a guardroom, or perhaps a storage room, or some other practical and everyday purpose. There were no windows and the low ceiling was stained black with the soot of three generations of oil lamps. The scent of burning lamp oil was a sharp tang in the back of the throat and shadows roamed freely.

The Clerk of the Treasury was a middle-aged man named Koson, a clanless ninja with no family to provide him a surname. As with all critical jobs in the administration, he was a chūnin who had served with distinction before being forced into retirement by misadventure. He had earned his place on the Medical Stand Down list by virtue of literally walking through fire in the service of his nation—or, more accurately, charging straight through a Fireball jutsu in order to capture an escaping spy from Rock. Scars scraped their way across Koson's face, down his neck, and under his shirt. One eye was burned away and the medics had needed to amputate his right hand. Nonetheless, he had captured his man and the intelligence extracted from that man had been critical, as shown by the Medal of Valor that the Third Hokage had hung around Koson's neck. It still hung around his neck even as he sat at his desk in a windowless room, surrounded by stacks and racks of paper and scrolls. It was tucked modestly beneath his shirt, but Hazō could see a telltale bit of silk ribbon peeking out from under Koson's collar.

Hazō knew Koson's story because Mari had taught him that knowledge was power and knowledge of personal histories was greater power than any jutsu. He had made a point of getting at least a basic briefing on every key person in the administration. Koson's title might be Clerk, but he was no mere clerk. He had very definitely been on the briefing list.

"Good afternoon, Lord Gōketsu," Koson said, nodding politely. "How may I help you today?"

"Good afternoon, Koson," Hazō said, smiling and nodding back. "I have this draft from Lord Orochimaru that I would like to cash in." He laid the paper on the man's desk and turned it to face Koson.

Koson considered the very short, very simple, document as though it were the most complex of sealing theory. After a moment he looked up; Hazō suppressed a smile. Not bad; it had only taken him three seconds to get over the shock.

"Lord Gōketsu, this draft is against one of Lord Orochimaru's accounts."

"It is, yes."

"Sir, the amount is blank. May I ask how you obtained it?"

"The Gōketsu recently came into possession of some interesting property. He gave us this in exchange for the right to study it in his lab." No reason to mention the rest of what Orochimaru had given them, nor to specify the nature of the property in question.

"I see." Koson looked back down at the paper. "How much did you intend to withdraw?"

Hazō paused. The answer was obvious but did he really want to...? Yes, yes he did.

"All of it. Transfer it to the Gōketsu name, please. And I'd like an accounting of the contents."

Koson studied him for a moment, then nodded. "Yes sir. You understand that whenever there is a transfer such as this, the recipient needs to sign for it and the records are open to anyone on the chain of custody. Which in this case would include Lord Orochimaru."

Hazō lip's quirked. "Are you very politely saying that if I forged this and Lord Orochimaru comes asking where his money went, you're going to sell me out in a heartbeat?"

"I wouldn't have put it quite that way, but yes. That is exactly what I'm saying." He offered an inked brush. The scars meant that he couldn't extend his arm fully so Hazō had to reach to take it.

"Not a problem. Here." Hazō took the brush and swirled his name in elegant calligraphy at the bottom of the paper before adding the word 'all' on the blank line.

"Very good, sir. A moment, please." He rang the bell sitting on his desk; a moment later a young genin, probably a fresh Academy graduate, came through the door.

"Yes sir?"

"Inori, please take this to the archives. Be sure that you stop and tell the desk attendant where you're going so that no one thinks you've left your post."

"Yes sir!" she said, bowing deeply. She took the paper and turned for the door, but stopped when Hazō raised his hand.

"Don't forget to tell the desk attendant that Lord Gōketsu said to say that the document shows Lord Gōketsu cleaning out one of Lord Orochimaru's accounts," Hazō said, amused. "Need to make sure there's a solid paper trail so no one here gets in trouble if it turns out that I was crazy enough to try to steal from the Snake Sannin. Oh, and show them the paper. Better if they see it instead of just hearing about it."

The genin's eyes went very big. She glanced at Koson for direction; he nodded and made a 'scoot along' gesture. She vanished out the door.

Koson's burns meant that his mouth didn't have a great deal of mobility, but the unburned side was quirked up in amusement. "If you'll give me just a moment, sir, I'll get the preliminary accounting for you." He strained to his feet and turned to one of the many scroll cases on the wall, walking his fingers down the columns and across the rows. "I only have the top level here—the amount of ryō in the vault and the names and locations of any properties—but I can have the full deep dive sent to your estate if you wish. It will likely take a few days."

"'The full deep dive'?" Noburi asked.

"Yes sir. I have right here...aha." He found the correct scroll and pulled it out, then struggled back to the desk and resettled himself in his chair. "I have right here the top line on what was in the account." He unrolled the scroll and skimmed through it. "Looks like a bit over 36,000,000 ryō, two farming estates of 107 and 89 acres respectively, a share in a merchant ship, and significant debts from two paper mills, a weaponsmith, and Baba Inasa whose name I don't recognize but he has an address here in Leaf and apparently he's wealthy enough to pay back a debt of 700,000 ryō with equal payments to be deposited into this account monthly for the next twenty months." He looked up and offered the scroll to Hazō.

"That's a top-line review, sir," Koson said to Noburi. "If you want to know whether the farms are in arrears on their taxes, the typical cargoes and routes and income of the ship, and so on then I will need a few days." He grimaced, causing his scars to stretch in weird and disquieting ways. "Also, please know that we're still rebuilding the records after the Collapse so if we end up having to go to the actual assets for details then it might take weeks."

Hazō chuckled. "There's no rush. But yes, I would like to get a more detailed picture, but it doesn't matter if I get it now or a month from now. Thank you for your help, Koson. May I take this or is it easier if I leave it and you send me a copy?"

"It would be easier if I could send you a copy, sir. I could have one fetched from the archives but I would prefer to simply make one here and then send it over. I'll have it delivered within the hour."

"Of course. Thank you, Koson. Mari, Noburi...tally ho."

His clan mates followed him out the door in silence, but this time the shock was leavened with a healthy dose of wonder.

---

XP AWARD: 1 It was a short scene.

Brevity XP: 1

Penalty: -40 XP Used for the FP that got spent preventing a bad outcome. See the spoiler for details.

Note the recent wonkiness in the timeline:

• March 11: Chapter 506, Noburi's visit with Ma and Pa Toad
• March 12, afternoon: Chapter 505, the team talks with Orochimaru and then the update breaks to let the players vote in what to do about it
• March 12, late afternoon: this chapter, Hazō finishes the negotiations and picks up his money
• March 13, afternoon: Chapter 507, Hazō goes to Shikamaru to seek out Deep Lore. The results are unclear

It is now the evening of March 13 and we are back to linear time.

Vote time! What to do now?

Voting ends on Wednesday, April 6, 2022, at 12pm London time.

---

The plan that I came up with, @Veedrac scooped me on, and (EDIT: Sugokawa Aito is going to propose to Mari is going to propose to) Hazō in my next update unless I completely crunk on spoons, is to create elevated roads using the MARI jutsu. This is a default thing, so it's not essential to vote it in, but y'all can choose to vote it down or offer implementation details if so desired. This vote will be separate from the plan vote and will run from now until my next update. See options at the bottom and please be sure to use the options shown. Write-ins are not available, as this is in part an experiment to see what happens when voting is simple and doesn't require people to follow the fast-moving discussion.

Options must have at least 3 votes in order to be considered, so if voter turnout is extremely low then it's the same as no one voting.


On Discord, @MMKII pointed out that you could charge a toll for using this road. That's included in the options below.


There are several polls involved here. If "(roads) Do not build roads" wins then the other polls will be ignored. Once again, please note the absence of write-in options.


Poll #1: Whether or not to do it.
[] (roads) Build roads
[] (roads) Do not build roads

Poll #2: How do to it.
[] (roads)(costs) Use a few casters, do not involve Noburi
[] (roads)(costs) Use many casters, do not involve Noburi
[] (roads)(costs) Use a few casters, involve Noburi
[] (roads)(costs) Use many casters, involve Noburi


Poll #3: Whether or not to have a toll
[] (roads)(toll) Charge a toll
[] (roads)(toll) Do not charge a toll

If '(roads)(toll) Charge a toll' wins then Hazō will have the appropriate people figure out an appropriate toll. That's not something you need to be involved in.


EDIT: Note that players in Discord are raising issues that I, and therefore Hazō, had not considered, such as potential ecological impact. I'm almost reluctant to post this bit because I'm afraid it's going to result in people voting "Don't build the roads and instead have countless meetings about ecological studies" but I feel that it would be unfair for me to have the poll and then have it cause problems later on without pointing out the potential for issues. Obviously, the QMs have no current intent for the project to cause issues but now that the issue has been pointed out to us there's a possibility that it could. Also note that this is an idea that I had and I'm posting it on my own without talking to @Velorien first.

EDIT EDIT: Velorien persuaded me that I should not be putting words in the PC's mouth that the players did not put there. Therefore the idea will be suggested by Sugawara Aito, the hill daimyo Hazō bought the iron mine from. He will suggest it to Mari who will suggest it to Hazō along with a request for funding. Hazō will do it/not do in the manner y'all vote for.

Author's note: This is what I wrote the first time, before deciding to let Hazō-pilot chime in. I then discarded it and wrote the actual update that is threadmarked above. This is here only as extra material. It is not canon.



"Lord Orochimaru?" Hazō asked, the words becoming firm halfway through as he forcibly clamped down on his emotions. "We are agreed that you will have two weeks of exclusive access and then we may recall the items at any time? And that you will make all your research findings public?"

"Yes, yes," Orochimaru said, waving dismissively and not looking away from what he was doing. He had lifted the claw fragment up with a mix of chakra adhesion and repulsion that kept it balanced an inch from his skin. He was turning it back and forth and his forked tongue was extended a foot and a half, tasting the air around the Sageforsaken object.

"Lord Gōketsu?" Kabuto said, a verbal nudge that barely hinted at impatience. "Hazō? Would this be sufficient payment?"

Hazō looked to his clan mates. Noburi was furiously nodding with imploring eyes. Mari was frozen and offering no input.

"This is a very generous offer," Hazō said slowly. "I think I would be a fool not to accept it—"

"Excellent!" Doctor Yakushi said. "In that case—"

"BUT. I would be a fool not to accept it, but I want to make sure that we have the same understanding of what we're agreeing to."

Orochimaru froze for a moment, then dropped the claw back into the box, stood up, and turned to face Hazō. He stepped forward, standing at the precise distance that would be threatening if he were an inch closer.

"Speak."

Hazō resisted the urge to step back so that he didn't have to crane his neck to look at the much taller shinobi.

"Sir, I'm grateful for your offer and glad to—"

Orochimaru made a cutting gesture with one hand.

"Right, sorry. I want to be able to work with you in the future and that means being sure we both have the same understanding. You're giving us these"—he held up the papers—"and we're giving you exclusive access to all Dragon parts that we own, one at a time, for two weeks each. We'll deliver them anywhere you want, which presumably is your estate. Yes?"

"Yes, obviously." He spun one finger in the universal gesture for 'move it along'.

"The Gōketsu continue to own the parts and will reclaim them after your two-week period ends."

"Yes, yes." Impatience was audible in the Sannin's voice.

"Whichever parts you aren't using at a given time, the Gōketsu can do what we like with. Let others examine them, lock them away, whatever. When you're done with a part, let us know and we'll supply the next one within twenty-four hours."

Orochimaru's eyes narrowed. "Do you intend to demand that I sit in an advocate's office and sign a document to which the Hokage shall affix his seal, or are we making a deal as men?"

"We are making a deal as men, sir. That doesn't mean it shouldn't be clear."

A muscle jumped in Orochimaru's jaw. "I see. And what other fussy little clarifications do you feel I need to stand here and listen to?"

"Do you agree that the parts you aren't using may be non-destructively investigated by other parties until the deal concludes?"

"I agreed to that not ten seconds ago. Stop wasting my time."

"You will provide five packets of notes or information of equivalent value to those currently offered if any parts are damaged during your investigations. The remnants will then be returned and the deal terminated. Equivalency to be determined by Tower-appointed arbiter. If parts are destroyed, same thing but it's ten packets."

The air began to shimmer and Hazō stopped talking as chills ran up his spine and danced across the goosebumps on his arms.

They stood there, three Gōketsu, a clanless jōnin, and a walking cataclysm. No one moved, no one spoke. After several seconds, Orochimaru reeled his soul back into his body and smoothed the incipient anger from his face.

"You are correct, Hazō," he said calmly. "I believe we do need to clarify some things. Let me see if I understand the thoughts that have been running through your head for the last few minutes."

He folded one arm across his chest, resting his elbow on his palm and rubbing his jaw with an exaggeratedly thoughtful frown. "Hmm...it would appear that Orochimaru is very interested in this thing that I own. I shall need to extract as much value as possible. It certainly was clever of me to leave the majority of the Dragon parts on the Seventh Path—now he can't simply take these items because if he does then I won't give him any more.

"Ah, but wait! What if he threatens me? He could use his nasty, evil Sannin brain magic to crush my will and force me to give him things! Oh no, my plans are ruined!

"No, wait! He was afraid of Tsunade! If he does anything I don't like, I'll simply go running to her again and she will put him in his place! Haha, I am victorious! I have him over a barrel, and there is nothing he can do to stop me! I shall make him give me everything I could possibly desire! Jutsu! Money! Unlimited power is mine because I can extort Orochimaru with my Dragon parts. Just think of the possibilities—he already offered me a blank note against an account that contains thirty-six million ryō, deeds to large swaths of land and a share in a merchant ship, seals that he created with Jiraiya, and priceless medical knowledge he created with Tsunade! Surely I can get even more than this? He is, after all, apparently willing to make a deal.

"But wait! We all know how untrustworthy he is. What if he finds some loophole and wiggles through it? What if he exploits the deal, or does something I didn't think of and don't like? Horrors! Trust isn't possible, so I must make the deal perfectly explicit. Yes, right now he's very interested in the preliminary investigation he's doing, but I'm sure that he won't mind being dragged away from that in order to haggle over fussy little details like an untrusting fishwife in the market."



Before Hazō could react, one bone-white hand lashed out and plucked away the papers Hazō held between loose fingers. Orochimaru absently tucked most of them into his pocket as he stepped over to the breakfast table. He lay the last paper on the surface and unsealed a long wooden box.

"You have an overinflated sense of your own importance, boy," Orochimaru said, flipping the box open to reveal a bottle of ink and a brush. He loaded the brush and swirled something across the paper. He cleaned the brush on a bit of cloth and tucked it back into the box, then dropped the box back into its storage seal. He blew across the paper to ensure that the ink was dry, then turned back to Hazō.

"I don't need your permission for this, boy. All I need do is walk over to the Tower and tell Asuma that you have these things, that after ten seconds of observation I have already thought of half a dozen military applications of a material that rapidly destroys anything living and eats through granite slowly. I could even stop at the hospital on the way and suggest to Tsunade that there could be value in a scalpel that cauterizes as it cuts. I would need to run very quickly indeed to keep up with her as she stormed over to Asuma's office and demanded that the full supply be turned over to her forthwith.

"Asuma would jump at the opportunity to make both of us happy at little cost to himself, and even more so at the thought that, given the chance to study these things, Tsunade and I might manage to find something of military value that no other village could possibly get. Something that might help to alleviate the massive beating Leaf has taken over the last few years. A beating, I note, that is mostly due to events that you set in motion."

He waved a hand dismissively. "Now, of course, you would likely claim that these are Gōketsu Clan property and clan secrets. That would last until Tsunade pointed out that you were intending to make them available for general research and therefore they cannot be clan secrets. I estimate that would take"—he waggled his hand in uncertainty—"three, perhaps four seconds, and it would likely be stated with sufficient volume to deafen everyone from Leaf to the northern tip of Snow.

"Now, would Asuma simply take your treasure from you by force? No, of course not. He would call a meeting of the Clan Council and, with you and I and Tsunade and all the heads of the voting clans sitting at the table, he would tell them of your patriotism in making these things available for public research and could everyone please gather around and help figure out the best way to make use of the five scales that the Gōketsu have obtained, the largest of which is taller than you are. The same for the claw tip that is four feet long, and the smaller claw fragments, and the tooth.

"Yes, he would look you in the eye and tell you how patriotic you are for agreeing to make these things available for the benefit of Leaf. He would speak at length about the many potential advantages this could bring to Leaf, advantages both medical and martial. He would praise you to the skies and say how much Leaf needed this right now and that you were showing the true Will of Fire with your actions. He would tell you how grateful the nation was and that, in token of this gratitude, he had ordered a substantial disbursement from the Tower Treasury to the Gōketsu coffers. Probably five or ten million ryō, at a guess. He would then ask you how soon you could have all of the various parts brought to Leaf for examination, with the initial examination to be done in Orochimaru's uniquely-equipped lab with Tsunade's assistance." He gasped, hands going to his cheeks in horror. "Oh no! Hung from your own rope! That dastardly snake Orochimaru is going to get unlimited access and you are going to get nothing! What shall you do? Perhaps you might claim that you cannot bring them back from the Seventh Path?" He frowned. "Hm, that seems odd. You brought these parts back, why are the rest more difficult? Well, perhaps you could simply refuse to bring them back, while standing there in front of a grateful Kage, an excited Tsunade, and all your peers? I'm certain that would do wonders for your reputation and your political future."

He extended one hand to Hazō, the paper held casually between two fingers. "Here is the deal, boy. Instead of thirty-six million ryō, large swaths of land, a share in a merchant ship, seals that I created with Jiraiya, and priceless medical knowledge that I created with Tsunade, you can have what I suspect Asuma would have given you. I will take these items to my lab for the next two weeks. At the end of that time you may come and pick them up. If I am interested in continuing my studies then I will give you the opportunity to make me another offer for the rest of the items.

"We're done here."