It saddens me that you think me some bloodthirsty savage, amused only by writing pain and suffering and death. I can do sweet and talking and character-oriented if I want to. Really. Honest.
...he says, walking out of a movie the script for which was:
WILL SMITH: I am a total badass and I love my daughter.
EXPLOSION: Hey there.
MARGOT ROBBIE: I am totally psychotic, but so hot you won't care. Also, badass.
@Jello_Raptor, I was under the impression that the qms modified MEW to always produce granite. I don't know how small a column would be necessary to maintain the floor's structural integrity.
It saddens me that you think me some bloodthirsty savage, amused only by writing pain and suffering and death. I can do sweet and talking and character-oriented if I want to. Really. Honest.
e: Also, if we're going to use "QM encourages this, therefore it's a bad idea" logic then we have to establish on what level the QMs play without letting them know that we know what level they play on.
PLAYERS: EJ said he hates writing talking and only wants to write punching!
EJ: That was ONE TIME! One! I wrote tens of thousands of words of talking for this quest and on ONE occasion I said I was tired of writing talking! And I even said it in what was clearly a joke! And it's not like the players of this quest haven't read OVER A MILLION WORDS of my non-MfD content, most of which does not involve punching!
PLAYERS: Don't try to change our minds with facts. We know you only want to write punching.
PLAYERS: EJ said he hates writing talking and only wants to write punching!
EJ: That was ONE TIME! One! I wrote tens of thousands of words of talking for this quest and on ONE occasion I said I was tired of writing talking! And I even said it in what was clearly a joke! And it's not like the players of this quest haven't read OVER A MILLION WORDS of my non-MfD content, most of which does not involve punching!
PLAYERS: Don't try to change our minds with facts. We know you only want to write punching.
Alright, here's the actual plan version of my previous proto. This thing basically has us fight a combat jounin in close quarters and relies Mari and her intimate knowledge of lewd aural experiences to lure the guy in. The difference between this plan and Squash Him Against the Ceiling is mostly that this plan takes into account the fact that we can't communicate things perfectly and relies on the team to pick up on Hazou's lead.
When Joutaro opens the door, he is going to be hit point-blank by three different restraining jutsu: the walls, the syrup and genjutsu (or whatever Mari chooses to do). I don't see him realistically dodging all of that unless he uses a clone or something to open the door.
That is to say this plan is risky. He might have some "kill everything" -jutsu on hair-trigger or whatever bullshit ninjas do come up with for emergency situations. Unknowns are a bitch when dealing with magical ninjas.
EDIT: This plan is a bust so don't vote for it. We will destroy the resort if we start throwing Earth Walls around and we can't use multiple instances of the walls like I originally thought we could.
See EJ's post below.
[X] Action Plan: Joutaro-in-the-box
Goals:
Beat Joutaro
Don't let the civilians die
Capture Joutaro alive
Methods:
Prepare are MEW and Syrup Trap ambush
Signal Mari to make sex noises for cover
Signal "Ambush", "MEW", "Syrup Trap" and "Genjutsu" for Mari and Noburi
Signal Akane and Keiko to move the unconscious people to a corner
When Joutaro opens the door, spring the trap
Throw Earth Walls on his sides and behind him, leaving only possibly direction for him to move forward
If possible, raise a waist high wall in front of of him to trip him if he does manage to move forward
If possible without slowing down the initial walls, throw a wall to cover the corner where the unconscious people are
Leave a gap between the ceiling and the wall, so we can fish the unconscious people out before the wall disappears
If Joutaro gets trapped, restrain and drain him
Throw a blanket over his face to block his line of sight
Gag him if possible
Explain that we have not been paid to kill him, hence he can survive this if he doesn't do anything stupid
First aid, make sure nobody is bleeding to death or something
Grab all the unconscious people and retreat to our fort and prepare for interrogation
If we can't take everyone, order of priority of captives is: The Kid, The Woman, Joutaro, Yami
If Joutaro dodges the initial trap and gets in the room, kick his ass with teamwork
If he survives, restrain him (check previous step)
If Joutaro dodges the initial trap to somewhere else than the room, call for retreat and PMYF out of the window
Minimum size on MEW is 1' x 3' x 3', meaning 30cm x 90cm x 90cm. Density of granite is 2.75g/cm^3, so the minimum size MEW is 668 kg. All walls produced by a single use of MEW must be contiguous, so "series of columns" will require multiple castings. Acceleration of the wall is effectively instantaneous, with a max velocity from ground to max height is 5m/s + 1m/s/level, so Hazou has 11m/s max. That's about 24 mph. Joutarou will get a chance to dodge.
Alright, since we are on the second floor, I have a feeling that using MEW will collapse the whole floor and tenderize anyone below. Not that I know anything about structural integrity of the kind of buildings we are staying in.
I guess we really do have to leg it without getting anything done like the original plan called for. Now I'm kinda disappointed and bored. Someone write an escape plan that doesn't have us make a huge mess of things and wake up the whole resort, I ran out of steam.
The diplomacy approach might work if we get lucky. It kinda depends on how much Joutaro cares about keeping quiet. I don't see him actually caring whether Yami lives or not.
Not really. Chances of us dying from the explosion is way higher than the chances of us dying in a fight against him. It makes no sense to default to the worst case scenario for us; this should be obvious to him.
Besides, he has 16 Deception dice or something. The genin will give away that we are not actually okay with blowing ourselves and the civilians up.
Hazou signs to Inoue to impersonate Yami and stall Joutaro while the chunin open the window and move his body out onto the roof.
Noburi casts syrup trap on the wall and door before making water clones outside the window to carry Yami and the other hostages if there is enough time to get them out. The water clones move a good distance away with the hostages but within substitution range.
If there isn't enough time, hide Yami's body in the room(assume Yami is Mr. Yummy). Hide him in the closet if possible.
Be ready for Joutaro not to listen and engage in combat at any time. Stick to our engaging tactics as much as they still apply if he initiates. If Joutaro straight up charges into the room, 5v1 him. If he engages with ninjutsu, disengage and take advantage of opposing element if possible. If things turn south, retreat. If anyone in the party is taken out, blow Joutaro up with explosives. It was ice knowing you Honami.
At first opportunity after establishing herself as Yami, it would be great if Inoue could tell Joutaro not to open the door and mention the DMZ. At that point, it's okay for the chunin to chime in as Yami's captors if any prompting is necessary. Use explosive seals on Yami!Mari as a threat. Not infused if we have them.(Don't have to be explosive seals, but I see us having to make a deception check no matter what they are. Electrocution seals. Small explosion seals. Weaponized storage seals. Kagome is our sealing teacher; I'm sure Hazou can come up with something appropriately gruesome.)
Quote from my previous post for an idea of what Mari could say:
"I think it's likely Mari could win on a deception check that we could then use to pivot to diplomacy. It's been mentioned that hostages is a bad lie since he'll have no reason to believe that they're alive. We could make the dangerous assumption that Yami's voice is as bland as his appearance and have Mari try to impersonate him(plus feigning having been hit in the throat or with smoke?)
Here's an example lie with Mari impersonating Yami: "Don't come in Joutaro. It appears that the people I'm delivering the package to have become impatient. They're currently holding us hostage and you coming in would only aggravate the situation. You've already done your half of the job and you'll be paid handsomely. I have things well in hand."
We can't direct Mari to come up with this statement exactly but I trust her judgement if we signal her with adequate prompts. I would add a false bluff to this statement, intended to send Joutaro predictably through the door if he decides to come in anyway(instead of through the wall or ceiling), like Mari rolling deception to convey that the door isn't trapped by saying it is as fake Yami."
Keiko's hands remain free at all times to provide the party with pymf kunai for escaping through the window and delaying Joutaro with logs to the face. If necessary, the party can substitute with Noburi's water clones instead.
Hazou holds henged Inoue hostage. She appears physically disabled and possibly fakes some throat injury to disguise her voice.
Noburi has his water whip ready.
If won't leave his room but doesn't back down, just retreat after the hostages have been evacuated. If hostages are still being evacuated and Inoue deems we should attack preemptively use the following protocol.Akane opens the door with ninja wire, Inoue uses genjutsu, Keiko throws pymf kunai into his room for Hazou and Akane to engage after substituting. Keiko and Noburi attack from their positions with weapons and water whip, avoiding friendly fire. If it's obvious he's been subdued, no need for lethal measures.
Hazou communicates as many of these things as he can. I don't have especially clever ways to get across some of the more complicated topics besides established code words, except by miming whipping and showing pymf seals.
When we run, we use our established get away routes. If Joutaro is following, Hazou uses MEW, Noburi uses Syrup trap to delay and everybody does retreating attacks when he's distracted by traps. Have clones(Inoue's since they'll have higher tac move than Noburi's) split with the party to carry the hostages.
When possible Noburi tops off party members with chakra. Make full use of boosts except if we're retreating and Joutaro is out of sight.
When(if) we've successfully gotten away, Hazou and Kagome check to make sure the tattoos aren't a seal to summon cthulu.
I'm willing to check back in in a couple hours to polish and reformat this plan if there's interest to vote for it. I would appreciate any proposed changes in a form that can be copied directly into the plan. Feel free to cannibalize parts or all of it.
edit: it's beyond the scope of my ability to plan for interference from Mr. Spy during our retreat with the amount of time left for voting. If we're lucky and he doesn't get in our way, we should preemptively take care of him or leg it far from hot springs if we intend to abandon our mission. I'd rather not leg it for Honami's sake.
Okay, since I'm almost sure that MEW is going to break the inn (the minimum weight as per the above is ~1500 lbs, and we'll need more than that), I can't see sense in voting for one of the plans that relies on it.
I am seriously concerned we're all gonna die, y'all.
I'm writing this instead of voting for a Diplomacy! variant because I wanted a plan with a truly fast-escape option and some more specifics for the de-escalation component. [X] Action Plan: Try Not to Die
Priorities:
Have all party members survive
Preserve our relationship with Honami (avoid excessive damage to the inn)
Prevent an international incident
Get the info from the tattoo
Avoid major injuries to party members
Have everyone else survive
Avoid major injuries to non-party folks
Methods:
Signal "negotiate hostages/calm" (pointing to Yami) or "stall/calm" to Mari, gesture for Keiko to get the civilian woman into a back corner and provide cover, get Noburi to prep syrup trap/water whip, while Akane and Hazou (lugging the boy) back Mari up
Some tactics Mari might come up with (inspiration for QMs, not things Hazou is trying to sign)
We're just theiving missing nin looking for ninja equipment in various rooms around this resort, we're willing to disengage and have everyone go home in one piece
We're newbies at this whole thing who've gotten in over our heads
Offer info about our employer/Spy Guy
Bluff being Yami
Make sex noises, esp. if she wants J to open the door and get ambushed
Emphasize that nobody is wounded yet and nobody needs to be, we promise not to come back, etc. De-escalate the situation in general
Try to glean from conversational hints what the hell is going on with this tattoo - maybe knowledge about context will help us decipher it later
If J insists on seeing what's going on to verify nobody is dead, open door with a bit of ninja wire from a distance
Try to avoid revealing the full extent of force present
Hazou moves boy out of line-of-sight of the door, starts examining/tracing tattoo on the boy
If he gets enough time, check over the woman too
Moving is to not let J immediately see what we're doing
If some discussion is established, get everyone signing back and forth to make sure we're all on the same page
If J agrees to let us go, PMYF out the window with clones and syrup trap to slow any betrayal pursuit
If he insists on fighting / enters the room:
Mari attempts genjutsu using our +10 bonus, backed up by Akane and followed swiftly by Hazou, with Noburi standing by as ninjutsu support and Keiko focusing on making sure he can't draw or effectively use his sword with ranged weapons .
If succeeds, everyone else does their best to tie him up/disarm him, being careful about fingers and other things he might be able to do if he wakes up. Nobby drains him to unconsciousness, go to step 6
If 4.1 fails, go to normal combat, with some preference for nonlethal damage
Look for opportunities to PMYF away/ blow open the wall and have everyone flee
If he tries to fight from outside the room (e.g. giant fireball attack), raise MEW in the doorway, directed explosive the exit wall and book it
If we succeed in subduing him via any means, bind/drain and try to make sure he'll survive any injuries, then grab the civilians and book it
Contingencies:
Be ready to ditch the civilians if it seems like we can't lose Joutarou
Have Mari or Noburi prepare to pop some Water Clones to pick up and carry them to opposite direction we are going
If nobody follows us out of the resort, consider undoing our traps (if in a hurry, do this explosively).
In combat, avoid rushing the door pretty much at all costs (don't want to 1v1 this guy)
If someone's gonna die and we haven't already used it, use that +10
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THIS plan is for anyone who's thinking "screw this, let's get the hell out NOW". You could also write up a 'full Kagome' approach and also blow the door back to keep J away and/or kill him, but that does even more damage to the inn. [X] Action Plan: Mini-Kagome Style
Priorities:
Have all party members survive
Avoid major injuries to party members
Get the info from the tattoo
Have everyone else survive
Methods:
Signal Mari to stall/calm, Noburi to ready a syrup trap, Akane to grab the boy, Keiko to cover retreat, and indicate that Hazou is going to blow the wall open
As soon as everyone is in place, preferring speed and not activating traps over stealth, gesture to go and bust the place open with a directed explosive
Run like the dickens
Contingencies:
Be ready to ditch the civilians if it seems like we can't lose Joutarou
Have Mari or Noburi prepare to pop some Water Clones to pick up and carry them to opposite direction we are going
If nobody follows us out of the resort, consider undoing our traps (if in a hurry, do this explosively).
Hey guys, don't we have a free re-roll from that time I found a continuity error with Inoue's elements? I have no idea where to find that post, but I'm pretty sure I'm remembering correctly. I vote for using that at any possible Diplomacy roll to de-escalate this situation.
@ChronOblivion certainly seemed to think it was still available at this point, but I'm struggling to find out where it was hashed out mechanically
E: Found another (older) spot where it was brought up, and the actual noticing of the fire jutsu is here. Still not the spot it was actually awarded though
(Just to ping people whenever they come check the thread)
If you'be got a vote in for a plan that depends on a bunch of MEW (@Jello_Raptor, @Briefvoice, @vali) and don't want to smash the second floor of Honami's inn, you may wish to reconsider that strategy given EJ's post above
Ach, I had been ctrl-F ing "chrono" assuming someone would be quoting
...+10? Like, 1d100 + 10, or like + 10d100 Or like, +10 after doing the raising to the 0.65 power or whatever odd math goes on at the end of a roll...?
Final E before nap: I stuck a "use the +10 on genjutsus" clause into Try Not to Die that I'm not super confident of, since we may just want to save it for life or death situations, but capturing J nonlethally would be a superb outcome and so I think it's justified
Didn't EJ say that it would take 15 minutes in good light? No way we are going to get that with whatever slapdash delay Mari comes up with.
Also your plan is not really that fast on the escape. The time we spend on waiting for J's answer etc. could be used to getting out of the window.
I turned my previous escape proto-plan into an action plan. With this we have a decent spectrum of choices covered from slow and talky Diplomacy, to slightly faster but less talky Try Not To Dieup to faster no talky Run Away. We are missing a proper "Lets fight him" plan currently but I guess that just means nobody actually wants to do that?
EDIT: Note that we are not taking anything with us with this plan, we are just running away.
[X] Action Plan: Run Away
Slow Joutaro down with a time bomb setup and run away.
Goals:
Run away
Don't get anyone killed
Don't cause a scene
Method:
Have the party escape through the window with PMYF
Signal for "Tactical Retreat", "PMYF" and point at the window
Turn Yami into a fake time bomb with Water Clones as trigger men
Grab some fake explosive tags, point at Yami and signal Mari for "Clones" and "Intimidate"
Slap the exlosive tags on Yami and truss him up so that he is the first thing Joutaro sees when he opens the door
Follow rest of the party through the window with PMYF
Run away
Run by Kagome and have him join the chase
Try to lose Joutaro by running through one of our trap fields
If Joutaro keeps dogging us in the woods, turn around and fight him
Keep him at range
Rest of the team runs diversions
Keiko peppers him with ranged weaponry
Contingencies:
Undo our trap setups outside the resort (if in a hurry, do this explosively)
If someone is about to die, use that one time +10 to rolls thing
If Joutaro escalates to a ninjutsu barrage or equivalent, don't mind using explosives and MEW inside the resort
