Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Shard
One and Many
- Location
- Malaysia
Are we sure he didnt spend it all on Ramen
- Location
- Yes.
Canon Naruto would. MfD Naruto wouldn't; Jiraiya would kill his ass.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Well...
- Location
- Yes.
No, Jiraiya did not have Naruto kidnapped by Akatsuki as punishment for spending all his money on ramen.
- Location
- Europe
Naruto: "I am just investing in the business! I am a responsible Clan head!"
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail
I honestly think there either must have been some mistake in your calculations or Jiraiya misrepresented our finances to all of us for no discernable (to me) reason.
But mistakes are human and I think at least eaglejarl has previously indicated that "finance simulator" is neither his forte nor his idea of fun.
So, any chance that you could just lay bare your general reasoning of Goketsu's current income vs expenses, sans concrete numbers? Or, if that is too spoilery or not ready for general consumption yet, maybe request some help by a couple of players that seem both into this stuff and fair when it comes to not abusing knowledge?
Hmm. I guess a third option is that both Kagome and Mari actually suck at bookkeeping and that Keiko was actually partially right when she thought she's not quite adequate for the job, ending in small mistakes on her part being grossly exacerbated to the point where Hazou gets a concise financial report that is not even close to reality, making all of this another plot hook/crisis to manage. Though in that case I have misjudged the amount of spoons y'all have and how you want to spend them.
I honestly think there either must have been some mistake in your calculations or Jiraiya misrepresented our finances to all of us for no discernable (to me) reason.
But mistakes are human and I think at least eaglejarl has previously indicated that "finance simulator" is neither his forte nor his idea of fun.
So, any chance that you could just lay bare your general reasoning of Goketsu's current income vs expenses, sans concrete numbers? Or, if that is too spoilery or not ready for general consumption yet, maybe request some help by a couple of players that seem both into this stuff and fair when it comes to not abusing knowledge?
Hmm. I guess a third option is that both Kagome and Mari actually suck at bookkeeping and that Keiko was actually partially right when she thought she's not quite adequate for the job, ending in small mistakes on her part being grossly exacerbated to the point where Hazou gets a concise financial report that is not even close to reality, making all of this another plot hook/crisis to manage. Though in that case I have misjudged the amount of spoons y'all have and how you want to spend them.
- Location
- Liverpool
Finally caught up! Taking days off during exciting times requires quite the time investment to catch up. And speaking of investments and being behind...
That was quite an update! Very good, very spooky (both Mari's headspace and the Grue's appetite (and also the finance infopost, (Shikamaru-inspired thought layering is still a joke right? (Because this totally isn't how I think sometimes...)) now that I think about it)).
Actually, Mari is one of the few people who might actually know. Henge did have its limitations, and a seduction specialist might have needed something slightly more sturdy.
The fact that Eaglejarl marked this insightful and the said it hasn't been explicitly not allowed seems like an obvious and appreciated warning sign that we're going to end up ignoring, isn't It? Oh dear.
I did my undergrad in econ (well, it was a major anyway), and one of my good friends is finishing his PhD. Probably have enough to build a nice model.
@Kiba forgot to quote it on this device, but I'm pretty confident Jiraiya doesn't have to pay ANBU himself out of pocket (and also 20k for multiple ANBU would be way too low anyway).
That was quite an update! Very good, very spooky (both Mari's headspace and the Grue's appetite (and also the finance infopost, (Shikamaru-inspired thought layering is still a joke right? (Because this totally isn't how I think sometimes...)) now that I think about it)).
Actually, Mari is one of the few people who might actually know. Henge did have its limitations, and a seduction specialist might have needed something slightly more sturdy.
The fact that Eaglejarl marked this insightful and the said it hasn't been explicitly not allowed seems like an obvious and appreciated warning sign that we're going to end up ignoring, isn't It? Oh dear.
I did my undergrad in econ (well, it was a major anyway), and one of my good friends is finishing his PhD. Probably have enough to build a nice model.
@Kiba forgot to quote it on this device, but I'm pretty confident Jiraiya doesn't have to pay ANBU himself out of pocket (and also 20k for multiple ANBU would be way too low anyway).
- Location
- Yes.
Word Count: 299
[X] Action Plan: The Clan Thing
[X] Action Plan: The Clan Thing
- Retroactively: Has Keiko finalized the cancellation yet? If not, ask if she'd like to have a clan discussion on how to optimize it.
- Investigate Mari.
- Ask what she's been really doing. She's concealing information about her activities, executes plays of unclear purpose (Keiko). Are we even campaigning for the Hat? We need to coordinate and that means knowing what you (our best agent) are doing.
- Be insistent: it's highly important.
- Check-in with Keiko's fanclub. Give them some information, encourage expansion.
- Any rumors about our clan? We heard something strange about Mari...
- If Naruto's available, meet and update him on our actions. Any new thoughts about current politics? On Mari's candidacy?
- Can he set up clones at predetermined places so we can contact him quickly?
- Ask what she's been really doing. She's concealing information about her activities, executes plays of unclear purpose (Keiko). Are we even campaigning for the Hat? We need to coordinate and that means knowing what you (our best agent) are doing.
- Meet with Ino:
- Express our condolences. Reminisce about both our dads...
- At risk of meddling: Is there anything we can do for Chouza? He must be feeling awful now.
- Consider scheduling a wake for the fallen.
- Ask her thoughts on politics. Any important developments we might've missed?
- Securely ask the clan (especially Mari):
- Update Mari on Ami. Should we:
- Sell her any unique information for favours?
- Spend a favour to enlist her help with the elections? "Maximize our personal influence on Leaf politics"?
- Who owns our debt? Are they amenable to under-the-table dealings?
- How many Leaf jounin are left? Note their names and allegiances.
- Does Naruto have a compound?
- Update Mari on Ami. Should we:
- Background:
- Acting Clan Treasurer: Hazou.
- Enlist Kagome's aid as time permits.
- Kagome: Focus on sealing.
- You've been forgetful and absent-minded lately. Start a (OPSEC-sensitive) journal, writing activities and stream of consciousness throughout the day.
- Kagome's done the same. Ask for tips.
- Review Jiraiya's political notes.
- Coordinate with Mari to investigate Leaf's underworld.
- Get details on the Hagoromo's debts.
- Check market prices on goods like salt, ice...
- Acting Clan Treasurer: Hazou.
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- Location
- Under a Rock
If I recall, Mari was alone with the funds for only two weeks. Its perfectly possible, and IMO likely, that she was instead directing the 4 million Ryo expenses. Its possible that with Mari directing payment, the expenses were substantially lower than that. Its only with her out of commission for a month that they spiraled that high.
----
Since we now have precedent for selling seals that ninja have to set up, I recommend we sell 5sb to mines, construction companies, and all manner of metal smiths. The mines and construction companies can use it for temporary scaffolding. The metal smiths can use it to create invincible, reshapeable molds out of wax.
We also need to look at the mission board. What missions can take us near the ocean? We need salt emperor levels of money.
We could also look into power through penmanship. Dump a month's worth of XP into calligraphy, and we can move up to effective penmanship 20. Move two zones up the time ladder, and pop out 2 seals a minute. Win life, assuming the tower is insatiable. That is probably false, as that would be 2 * 60 * 8 = 960 seals a day, with only 1000 ninja to use them. Start selling to civilians?
If we do this, we should buy a Nara printer, along with some suspicious parts. No need to let the stinkers know how we are doing it.
----
@eaglejarl, @OliWhail, @Velorien, How much is the mortgage total? 100 million Ryo? 200? more?
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Not at all! How can you think that? We're going to poke at this nuke in full protective gear! I've already acquired kinda-goggles and something resembling a blast shield. We only need to find some gloves, and we're golden! If that rabbit sitting next to the bomb won't decide to eat us. Can you distract it?
- Location
- Yes.
@eaglejarl @Velorien @OliWhail Has Noburi set up an appointment with Dr. Yakushi yet? It wasn't mentioned in the infopost but given that it's been a couple days I wanted to ask.
Also, what's Hazou's opinions on him becoming Clan Treasurer? Or...could the hivemind function as Clan Treasurer?
Also, what's Hazou's opinions on him becoming Clan Treasurer? Or...could the hivemind function as Clan Treasurer?
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Hazou: *passively tracking compound interest on a dozen accounts and running arbitrage simulations in the back of his head, instantly answering relevant questions whenever they come up*
Shika: "Why didn't I listen to dad...."
E: did feudal Japan have compound interest?? Or did they do constant-fraction loans or some such?
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- Location
- NY
Ah, econ minor, political science major. You're probably better qualified to speak in this case.
This...is a very good point. Mari was incapacitated for quite some time, and while Keiko is a logistics specialist...her only logistics training was in Mist as a fresh genin, to my understanding, which probably doesn't qualify her to run the finances of the closest equivalent this setting has to a major corporation.
Who can we get a second opinion from? Akane's family?
All according to Shikaku. Translator's Note: Shikaku means plan.
We are already approved to sell storage seal variants. Work with Kagome to obfuscate the oil misterator design as much as possible, make them black paper seals, and sell them as Gouketsu-brand superexplosives. After what happened at the exams there's going to be a huge demand for explosive seals, and we have a monopoly on the most explody explosives around.
Ask the pangolins how much they'll buy meat for, and just as importantly a method of storing it perfectly fresh. Get Noburi and Keiko out in the field with a literal army of summons dragging every chakra monster in an area in for draining and processing before moving on. If enough of the pangolins sign on clearing square kilometers an hour should be possible. This also generates XP for Noburi to buy the summoning stunt with.
General arbitrage. We have access to the largest market in the world, with merchants invited in from the world's premier naval trade power. What are the prices of various things on the human path vs the animal path? They almost certainly aren't in sync, which means free money.
Gambling.
Get in touch with the yakuza. Point out that the authoritarian Hyuuga is going to win if votes aren't turned, and oh, hey, here's a clan who would love to vote against them if only their financial troubles were resolved. Would the yakuza happen to know anything about the business interests of major powers in Leaf and/or be willing to make a donation to the "anybody but Hiashi" campaign?
We could just adopt some civilian accountant and make them treasurer.
- Location
- Liverpool
[X] Action Plan: The Clan Thing
Reminder to everyone that we have a doc to put questions for the QMs, since I've seen the QMs pinged over a dozen times in the past day, which I'm sure is super tiring to deal with, but none of those questions have ended up in the doc. It's in my sig as well. If I have the time later, I'll see about maybe going back through and adding questions since the update and infodump, but I'd rather people add their own.
Questions In Need of Answers (QuINOA)
Reminder to everyone that we have a doc to put questions for the QMs, since I've seen the QMs pinged over a dozen times in the past day, which I'm sure is super tiring to deal with, but none of those questions have ended up in the doc. It's in my sig as well. If I have the time later, I'll see about maybe going back through and adding questions since the update and infodump, but I'd rather people add their own.
Questions In Need of Answers (QuINOA)
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
The Mori are tools, right? Let's kidnap Anna and turn her into a human calculator. Ami will probably do it for free if we ask nicely: Anna was mean to Keiko.
- Location
- Europe
Adopt Ryu.
- Location
- Somewhere over the rainbow
they were either pretty recent, especially with interest, or on the honor of "i'll fucking sack you if you don't repay" iirc
edit: imagine being as confident as this post was in a totally wrong opinion; interest apparently existed, and might've been compounded but probably not continuously compounded.
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Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
12th CENTURY FUEDAL ECONOMIST: What is this "continuous" you speak of...?
KEI: I can't do the finances anymore now that I'm a Nara.
MARI: Don't look at me.
KAGOME: I might be able to figure it out. Eventually.
HAZOU: Well... I guess...
VIHH: Oh ffs, give them here.
HAZOU: What.
VIHH: (poring over spreadsheets) ...and then we compound that over...
MARI: ...Hazou?
HAZOU: (stares into space for a second then snaps back to lucidity) Done the finances. What's our next problem?
MARI: Don't look at me.
KAGOME: I might be able to figure it out. Eventually.
HAZOU: Well... I guess...
VIHH: Oh ffs, give them here.
HAZOU: What.
VIHH: (poring over spreadsheets) ...and then we compound that over...
MARI: ...Hazou?
HAZOU: (stares into space for a second then snaps back to lucidity) Done the finances. What's our next problem?
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