Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rational rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
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- He/Him
NARUTO: Here's the complete list of Kei's polycule.
ITACHI: .....this is half of Leaf.
- Location
- Yes.
ITACHI: Why am I included in the list.
NARUTO: Kumokogo.
ITACHI: Ah.
- Location
- The Void
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- She/Her
God Mari is the best. We should do something nice for her when we meet up
What sort of deranged jutsu would allow you to disguise yourself as an inanimate object?
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Eh, we know Leaf's capabilities; those can be defeated by the summon + skytower-hopping scheme.
I dunno; she'd need to find a human-sized speck in a vast volume of space, through the narrow aperture of a telescope. (It's not like Itachi would need to be right next to them; he can tail them from kilometers away, if it's a vast empty space.) If that speck is camouflaged pretty well, I think it's plausible she'd fail.
Another possibility is, sigh, a small Crow summon masquerading as an ordinary bird.
I don't necessarily think he can tail them from kilometers away, if they're on skywalkers they aren't leaving tracks. He can't use the Sharingan all day. So he needs to be able to see them to know that they haven't take a turn that he missed.
Who are we kidding, he just uses a Crow Summon masquerading as an ordinary bird...fuck
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A crow of that size is gonna be like... a Panda equivalent lol
Size doesn't always equate to strength on the seventh path. See the Toad Sages as well as Cannai's size-changing.
We just make it a policy of Kei's to shoot down any birds that look like they might be Crows. Might not be perfect but I don't think there's much else we can do.
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It doesn't always but it often does
I mean probably the normal policy anyways.... you don't want chakra beasts near you
Also, if it makes anyone feel better, crows have pretty bad night vision
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
It does NOT. It applies only to NORMAL Crows, not to SAPIENT CHAKRA CROWS that were IMPROVED by Itachi's BULLSHIT ESOTERIC TECHNIQUES.
AAAAAA
Several years. We don't officially know because she doesn't share that info and the QMs don't share her sheet, but I expect her to have a favorable matchup with Hidan and have decent odds against Deidara with backup from the rest of Uplift. I consider her to be in the same gray-zone area as Zabuza, Kakashi, or Gai, where they outstrip ejonin but don't match up to most Essies. Special Essie, if you will. Mari's said herself that an important part of being called a S-ranker is being able to reliably kill multiple jonin in one go and she doesn't consider herself capable of that. So I think she has part of the hax and most of the statline, but not enough of the combat hax.
- Location
- Europe
You're a bit obsessed aren't you? They all have esoteric stuff.
Maybe focus on the real threat:
Kisame is probably just following Barrel-boy.
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- She/Her/They/Them
Chapter 69 did have someone walking in on someone, Mari making advances, interpersonal dynamics, and even Mari-Jiraiya shenanigans. Blur your eyes and it did happen! Hell, there was a Hyūga in an inn, so there was probably even bath-viewing.
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- She/Her/They/Them
Sundials are pretty good at identifying dusk
- Location
- Europe
My bad, it makes sense in hindsight that my post is read as "Plan a big battle". But I was just throwing out S rank vs S rank.
So I don't disagree, but were going to have to deal with Akatsuki and the other villgaes anyway. They will learn that Leaf gainef some new advanced defenses and is willing to fight Akatsuki. But why does Sand hate us now?
No?
Besides the legendary Sharingan bullshit we know about the Yamanaka possession and mind reading abilities, Mari's genjutsu memory stuff and Quislings (Arikada wanted to use the corpse to puppet Isan and Enma mentioned an messiah). Then we also have Kagome mentioning that stuff like this were in Clouds intelligence reports and Shikaku at least entertained the lupachanzen theoretical existance.
And I think there were some mind control genjutsu birds and/or spiders somewhere.
Mind-control or memory stuff is obviously going to be extremely rare, but it's not unheard off.
It's going to depend on the Rune research anyway. How we exactly attack Akatsuki stays up in the air.
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Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Really getting some Otolmens vibes from you there.
I think you're too optimistic about the other Kage's assessment of the situation. Both in their ability to safeguard themselves from leaks to Akatsuki and their willingness to believe in the return of Pain as an actual threat to them.
Recall how hard we had to struggle to get the Seventh Path Clans to band together to save their own lives against an outside-context threat. The other villages simply won't take this seriously. If they don't take it seriously they'll leak it to Akatsuki, and then we'll be in dire straights if we were relying on their help.
Best to simply not rely on their strength and do it all ourself.
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- UK
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Pressure on the new Kazekage from the majority. Don't forget that their grains of sand are allied with Akatsuki.
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- Europe
Must have missed that then. Where was this posted or said? Or is this some joke that I am not getting?
Akatsuki is a well known threat/power and not an ancient myth on the other side of the continent told to you by an child summoner. Really not the same.
Wasn't really meaning to tell them that if it wasn't necessary, just getting rid of Akatsuki as Overlord. But everyone seems to be to busy to be scared into submission by Akatsuki and laughing at Leaf.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
I don't see why the marginally greater amount of water and chakra around Noburi would greatly improve Kisame's ability to follow him. Humans are full of water and ninja are full of chakra anyway: if he's following anyone, he could be following anyone.
I'd assumed this is what you had in mind, yes. This just greatly increases the suspiciousness of the pitch we'd need to make to other Kages. "Please come to this place, alone. Tell no-one you're doing this. It's totally not a trap, promise!"
Sure. But we're not convincing them this stuff exists, we're convincing them that they should trust our intel and to assume that their own command structures are possibly extremely compromised by it. Very different.
Reference to a joke by Paper on Discord, quoted here.
(That's the general style I was mimicking, yes.)
- Location
- Can’t say. I know my momentum.
I've been thinking about where to go from here (since we should probably leave before Leaf-nin start focusing on Snow two months from now). I see two potentially useful routes right now:
Option 1:
Option 2:
Regardless of which we do, I think we should avoid towns if we can, and get our food from Cannai. We can ask him to set us up with a supplier and only relay the food and not messages.
Edit:
Option 1:
- Head from Aisu to the cave in Wind (meeting up with the fam along the way)
- After spending enough time at the cave to get something out of it (or not), head to Kanmuri in Earth. There we can check up with one of the contacts that Naruto left for us and see how the hunt for us is going on. @eaglejarl, @Velorien, @Paperclipped, which city is Kanmuri?
- From Kanmuri we can either go to wherever in the EN they aren't looking for us as hard or we can go west into Bear (after asking Mari why we don't go to Bear).
- We get to check out the cave and maybe get something useful out of it. (How useful is the cave if we already have Noburi?)
- We get a chance to check in with an "incurable gossip with an incredible memory" which might be willing to answer questions if we drop Jiraiya's name.
- The destinations are nearby, so travel time is less, which means research time is more.
- Kanmuri is a big city (the second-largest in Earth), so there might be Akatsuki spies
- especially if it's next to Rain. @eaglejarl, @Velorien or @Paperclipped, which dot on the map is Kanmuri? It's not labelled on the map.
Option 2:
- Head from Aisu to Marsh's capital to meet up with our eastern priest contact there.
- Get information about Jashin and about places where we can learn more about him in e.g. Demon. Get information about the lay of the land further east.
- Head to Demon (maybe) to get even more information about Jashin.
- Optionally, take a detour and pick up the summon scroll (probably not a good idea, since it will focus attention on us).
- Keep heading east, get off the map.
- We get more information about Jashin, which is important since Jashin appears to be powerful and favorably disposed toward us.
- We (maybe, probably not) get another summoning scroll, specifically one for a clan that's not known to be associated with us already.
- We can probably get information about the eastern continent without needing to scout as much thanks to our contact.
- Akatsuki's spy network is strong in the nearest part of the eastern continent. Depending on how near "near" is, Marsh could be heavily surveiled by Akatsuki.
- Demon seems to be heavily affiliated with Hidan, so he might get a wind of us if we go there.
- Our "priest of some weird religious order" contact might be a Jashinist, and so might alert Hidan when we show up.
- It's a long trek, we'll be on the move and so we'll have less time for research.
Regardless of which we do, I think we should avoid towns if we can, and get our food from Cannai. We can ask him to set us up with a supplier and only relay the food and not messages.
Edit:
The Iron meetup is probably the easiest if we take Option 1, whereas if we take Option 2 it might be more efficient to meet up on Kankei.
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- Location
- UK
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The first rendezvous point is near Nuken'in Temple in northern Iron, several kilometres away from the smoking wreck of the Fortress of White Steel, in 7 days. The second is on Kankei, the triangular island southeast of Hot Springs, in 9 days. The third is near Tasogare Village in Tea, between the ruins of Isan and Degarashi Port, in 12 days.