Interlude: Company Retreat- Merrie Melodies
- Location
- Pennsylvania
[X] Make up with Roger
84
[X] Finish your degree online
54
[X] Practice Mongolian Throat Singing
73
[X] Spend time with Road Runner
68
[X] Practice Musical Theatre
61
[x] See a musical
95
[X] Follow Father around
29
[X] Try Talking to Shego
11
[X] Visit Little Toontown
57
[X] Psychoanalyze
-[X] Mirage
84
[X] Watch El Matador de Amor
73
[X] Hang out with the other teenagers
66
[X] Go to a rave
47
[X] Prank your Coworkers
99
84
[X] Finish your degree online
54
[X] Practice Mongolian Throat Singing
73
[X] Spend time with Road Runner
68
[X] Practice Musical Theatre
61
[x] See a musical
95
[X] Follow Father around
29
[X] Try Talking to Shego
11
[X] Visit Little Toontown
57
[X] Psychoanalyze
-[X] Mirage
84
[X] Watch El Matador de Amor
73
[X] Hang out with the other teenagers
66
[X] Go to a rave
47
[X] Prank your Coworkers
99
The Danville Performing Arts center was the premier destination for any off-broadway shows that were passing through the Tri-State Area. The population boom following DEI's expansion into the surrounding regions had drawn more people than ever before, making the city the a haven for theatre in the Midwest. Agent Russ was seated in the front row as he watched ancient Mongolian warlord Genghis Khan practice a song on stage while Francis Monogram took furious notes on a legal pad. This was not, strictly speaking, a mission. But if it had been one, Russ admitted to himself, it would break top twenty.
"Can you make it sound more dramatic? I think we can get some serious attendance here if this works out! Just imagine it, a musical all about the unmitigated disaster of the Sands Casino, chronicling Syndrome's downfall! It'll make Doofenshmirtz happy since this sort of thing is right up his alley, and it'll be rubbing the defeat in that fink-rat's face!"
"Vink-rat?" Khan queried.
"I'm trying to get into the mood of the thing."
Khan nodded, reconsidering the best way to pull off this song. It would be a welcome treat to bring the ancient Mongolian art into modern culture, and maybe with some luck he could even teach new people outside of the steppes. His oddly brilliant yet unathletic descendant would be very pleased.
"I gotta admit, I didn't think you'd be interested in this sort of thing." Francis commented to Russ. "You weren't real happy after Sinatron tried to take over, so I was worried you'd call this a threat to national security."
"He broadcast on livestream to the entire world. Compared to that this is a blip on a radar."
"Oh. Well! I was thinking I could talk Liotta into playing the part of Sinatra, he was kinda disappointed that he never got to livestream his performance last time."
"Just make sure to keep our role out of it. Nobody needs to know that we were there that night."
"Keep us out of it?! Come on! What would Doof think?"
"Eh, I think it could use some more chorus girls." you say, standing up from your seat about twelve rows behind Russ. "Come on, it's Vegas, you can't tell me they wouldn't fit."
Monogram and Khan whirl around at the exact same time, but you cut them off. "Don't mind me, just pretend I'm not here! Keep on practicing!" you say encouragingly. Norm is still hovering about ten feet behind you just like he has been for the past two weeks. You're not sure what exactly encouraged him to follow you so closely, and you're also not sure you like it. It's one thing for him to consider himself your son- you've still got a ways to go to unpack that one- but son or not, staying so close to you at all times was kinda creepy.
You decide to let Monogram and Temujin get back to it- you're not going to be a backseat playwright or anything. They go through the motions on stage for about half an hour more before getting into a long debate on how the scene of Mass 'slaying Kronos' should play out, at which point your attention begins to wander. In an astonishingly lucky coincidence, you notice Agent Russ quietly slipping away. He's good at his job, so you're fairly sure you wouldn't have noticed had your eyes not glazed over from the previous conversation.
You're pretty curious as to what else he could be doing with his spare time. Despite being a government spook he's been a great employee, helping you out with all sorts of assorted acts of skullduggery, facing off against your Most Hated Enemy Doom, and even helping you recover your newest Evil Geneticist, but you can't remember ever seeing him relax, or unwind, or even emote anything but grim faced disapproval or mild shock. Naturally you're a bit curious about what he would do with his free time.
After waiting a moment or two to leave the theatre, you slip out the back door to follow him. As familiar as you were with the streets of Doofania, you had no idea where he was going at first, taking so many turns and alleyways as to make his final destination incredibly difficult to predict. Befitting of a secret agent, you supposed, but quite annoying for anyone attempting to follow them. You lose him at least three times, only picking the trail up again by chance.
Halfway through your stalking, you notice that Russ is headed for Little Toontown. That's… weird. You can't really imagine that guy going to a place like this on purpose unless there was something sneaky going on. Your interest in following him and figuring out what he's up to redoubles. You follow him stealthily from the next street down, slipping off your labcoat and becoming practically unrecognizable in the process.
Little Toontown is more of a street than a town, plus a few smaller alleys. A few hundred toons have set up shop here, popping up with uniquely animated houses, dancing trees, and all sorts of other signs of humorous habitation. The very clouds in the sky haven't come alive, like Goofy says the clouds in Toontown once did, but you still like to think the toons are getting a bit of home away from home in their new… home.
As you watch Russ heading through the area, you happen to see an errant bucket get knocked off a windowsill and go flying directly for Russ' head. You almost yell out a warning, but then, something strange happens. Normally this is the part where the hapless passerby gets clonked on the head, sees little birdies, and then probably gets in a fight with the clumsy house owner. Instead, what happens is Russ catches the bucket in his hands. And then, a second later, he catches the water, which had been about to soak him through, in the bucket, setting it gently on the ground before moving onwards. Seconds later a passing cartoon dog steps in the bucket, getting it stuck on his foot and flailing wildly.
A few minutes later, you watch as a passerby bumps into a hulking brute of a toon next to Agent Russ. The guy makes a big show of cracking his knuckles, looming, and threatening… Dennis the Duck?! Seems the little fellow managed to get into some trouble while taking a stroll around Toontown. Russ talks to Dennis for a moment before tapping the thug on the shoulder. The thug turns… only to receive a ham and pastrami on wheat directly to the face. This was followed up by half a dozen other gags, pratfalls, and slapstick, all expertly redirected by Russ and often funnier than they would have been if they'd hit him in the first place. The guy doesn't even look like he's trying!
---
As you watch Russ step through multiple other sight gags, your head turns to a most peculiar sight. Inside one of those old-fashioned diners is another one of your Toon employees, Wile E Coyote. You were as surprised as anyone when he stopped talking in signs the last couple months, but you figured that was personal and didn't want to pry. The fact that you are now prying into his personal life at this very moment is irrelevant. Wile E looks like he's ordering food at the counter with a very spindly blue bird balancing on the stool next to him.
---
"Now, I don't mean to be crude my friend, but I assume you'll not be wanting turkey."
"MEEP MEEP!"
"Yes, quite. Wild greens on sixteen-grain rye, an excellent choice. And for me, I'll be having a sixteen-decker deluxe sandwich with all the fixings, light mayo, extra onions, triple meat, hold the lettuce. I quite literally have not eaten for sixty years."
"MEEP MEEP!"
"Oh come now, I may be a changed coyote, but I am also absolutely famished. I highly doubt that there are any roadrunners on the menu."
You hear a tremendous crashing noise behind you and turn around to see a car firmly planting itself into a nearby telephone pole. Typical Toon shenanigans, you figure, turning back around to spy on Coyote some more. Despite a mere ten seconds having passed, the two of them have sandwiches already sitting in front of them. Coyote's reaches up to the ceiling while the bird's is a much more modest watercress affair.
"Goodness!" Coyote says. "I fear that poor driver might be the latest victim of ACME power steering. Horrid company."
"MEEP MEEP!"
"Hm? What exactly is incorrect about the way in which I utilize ACME products?"
"MEEP MEEP!"
"User error? I feel as though I should be insulted, but it is difficult to deny the lack of results for the last six decades or so…"
"MEEP MEEP!"
"Well yes of course I am aware that they run off comedy. It is a cartoon company, after all. That's exactly the issue. For some ineffable reason, it is apparently deeply humorous for me to succeed."
"MEEP MEEP!"
"I… I suppose I've never thought of it that way. Could I really just change in such a drastic fashion? 'Be worth rooting for'? I did always have a sizable following hoping for me to catch you old friend… imagine how much sooner I might have devoured you if I had simply played for further sympathy. Hmm. This bears investigation…"
That was a weird conversation. You guess Toons really do run off the narrative. You almost want to keep listening in, but Russ seems to have finished evading that massive Toon Rottweiler and is rapidly leaving your field of vision.
---
Russ is kept too busy to notice you for a while, but eventually you have to go back to following him from a distance. This is a problem, because near the end of Toontown you run into a few more familiar faces.
"Oh hi Vanessa! Oh, and Max and our new hire Janna! Good to see you three spending time together! How's Goofy's semester going?"
"Hey dad." Vanessa says disinterestedly.
"Uh, hey Mr. Doofenshmirtz." Max replies, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "It's uh… going."
Janna only grins.
"Soooo, what are you and your little friends doing in Little Toontown?" You ask. Max looks a bit sheepish, but Vanessa long since stopped caring about what you think.
"We're going to see a concert. Janna says there's this hot new genre… what did you call it?"
"Electronica Electro Swing, huge on the west coast, Toons are going wiiiiild with it. It's so weird. Turns out some toons are drawn to do stuff other than be funny, and there's this antelope that-"
"Okay okay that's enough." Max cuts in hurriedly.
"Oh Max, you really should feel more free to talk about your hobbies!" You try to reassure him.
"Yeah." Janna agrees. "You should chat to the guy who got us tickets Doof, he's great." Janna says, gently patting the side of a fire hydrant looking in your direction.
"Wha- Oh oh right! Toontowns have living fixtures, I almost forgot. It's very nice to meet you, uh…"
You wait for a moment but the fire hydrant doesn't respond.
Janna smiles, clearly happy to help introduce people. "This is snrk, Fiery, the Fire Hydrant. Don't worry, he's shy."
"Oh of course of course." You say. "So, Fiery, I understand you're something of a music aficionado?"
Fiery continues not to respond. You understand he's shy, but come on, this is getting rude. Max and Vanessa are staring.
"I uh… how did you meet Janna?" You ask. Still nothing. "Listen here bucko. I happen to be in charge of this city and if you think you can just ignore me then you have another thing-"
Janna bursts out laughing. "Dude, dude. It's not a toon. I put googly eyes on it."
You blink. Max and your daughter try not to laugh beside you.
Fiery's plastic eyes continue to stare in opposite directions.
"How dare you!" You exclaim in redirected fury. "That you would use such brilliant, unmitigated deceptive skill to make a dummkopf out of me! I am your boss, and your ruler! What possessed you?!?"
Janna shrugs. "Thought it would be funny."
"Funny?!?!"
"Yeah, and I was totally right." she says before walking off.
"I can't believe you! You've made me a fool in the most embarrassing way possible! You've deceived me, betrayed me, and quite possibly bamboozled me. And worst of all young miss, you've made me completely lose Agent Russ!"
"What, the government spook? Greying hair, poser sunglasses, incapable of strong emotion?"
"Yeah that's him." You reply.
"Oh, he went into that side alley a couple minutes ago."
You stare at Janna. It's like she knows exactly how much she can get away with at any given moment, and spends her life gleefully tap dancing across the line. You fume for a few seconds before giving up.
"Curse you Janna the Teenage Girl!" You declare before slinking off into the alley. Wow, it's been a long time since you've cursed anyone. Victory is kind of weird.
As you leave, you see Dennis wander up to the group of three.
"Well hey guys, what brings ya to Toontown?"
"We're going to a concert." Janna replies lazily. "Wanna come with?"
"Oh sure, I love music! I hope they allow outside food in."
As the four walk off, Dennis looks back towards where you were standing, his face shifting in confusion.
"Aren't we gonna bring Fiery???"
---
Other than a few dumpsters the only thing in the alleyway is a door leading into a brick building. You test the door and are surprised to find it unlocked, opening up into a hallway that leads into a theatre of sorts. It's much smaller than the Danville Performing Arts Center, maybe only a couple hundred seats, playing what the jaunty introduction calls Rabbit Fire on the silver screen. You can see a dozen or so Toons among the audience, some assorted humans, and…
Agent Russ? you question as you see the man in a nearby seat.
Russ relaxes in his seat, having finally shaken off the most persistent pharmacist he'd ever met. Trust Toontown, he thinks, to give you the best luck possible in catching back up to him four times in a row.
You watch in awe as the short cycles through a series of gags, starting with Bugs, Daffy and Elmer's famous 'Duck Season Rabbit Season' routine that even you know, but then elaborating on the idea into a hundred and one unexpected variations. It's a good cartoon, but that's not really your focus. Your attention is on Agent Russ. For the first time you've known him, he's smiling! And chuckling! The man seems completely at ease. Gone are the normal paranoid glances and ceaseless calculation behind those mysterious shades, replaced by a man at peace with himself. At the conclusion of the short, when the continual tearing of 'duck season' and 'rabbit season' posters reveals an 'Elmer season' that unites the warring animals in revenge, you hear him release an audible 'Ha!', and that is the last straw.
"Agent Russ! You like cartoons?!?!" you ask in shock, as Russ whirls around and the end theme of the Looney Tunes is cut short with the clattering of a film projector. The rest of the patrons give you awkward glances before slowly shuffling out.
"I…" Russ says slowly, obviously stalling for time. The calculation and the paranoia are back. After a moment he appears to capitulate, and sighs. "Yes, I suppose I do."
"Why?"
Russ quirks an eyebrow. "Do you not appreciate the classics Doctor?"
"Oh no no! It's funny stuff. I just didn't peg you as the sort of guy to… be… funny?"
Russ sighs again. "You know it's rude to pry into your employee's lives."
"Ehhh... sorry. You're just so mysterious!"
"Heh." Russ chuckles again. "That is the idea."
He seems to come to a decision.
"I suppose I like the old cartoons because… they remind me of a simpler time. Before everything went mad."
You look at him askance. Most of your life has been one traumatic incident after the other from the literal day of your birth. The idea of nostalgia is something you have a hard time wrapping your head around.
"Toons. Supers. This country. We all used to mean something. Before cunning minds and pragmatic hearts ripped out the soul of the world. I try to fight fire with fire, but… sometimes I need to remind myself what it's all for."
"I knew it!" You crow. "I knew you weren't a heartless government spook!"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves here."
"Come on, you can admit it!" You needle. " Monogram has his secret love of Sinatra and musical theatre, and you secretly love Toons!"
"I suppose neither one is much of a secret any more." Russ admits gracefully.
"Soooooo. Now what?"
"Now." Russ says firmly. "We are finishing the Hunting Trilogy. Rabbit Fire was a turning point for the industry by turning Daffy from a screwball protagonist into a selfish foil for Bugs, but it wasn't until Rabbit Seasoning that Mel and Chuck perfected the format."
You take a seat. You missed most of the first film anyways. A couple more doesn't sound too bad.
---
Monogram and Khan both enjoyed their artistic opportunity very much. For letting them take the time, they both gain a permanent +5 loyalty!
When you finally get around to starting your musical, you will gain +40 to the first roll as they have already laid the groundwork!
Vanessa, Max, and Janna have formed a very odd little friend group! They've begun working well together and all gain the trait: Doof Troop!. If two of them are assigned to the same quest, they gain +5 to rolls. If three are assigned to the same quest, they instead get +10!
You've gotten to know Agent Russ better, and he didn't even get mad at you about it! Russ gains a permanent +5 loyalty.
??? revealed for Agent Russ: Tooned In! Agent Russ has a preternatural understanding of comedic timing and narrative convention, and has figured out how to weaponize that knowledge. He gains +10 to all rolls made in Quests with other Toons, rolls against Toons, or on National Actions involving Toons! He also gains +20 to knowledge rolls related to Toon personages or history!
Agent Russ' Preference Revealed: Just a Little Loony: Agent Russ is fond of Toons, claiming they 'remind him of the old days'.
Wile E Coyote has buried the hatchet with his old nemesis and gained some insight into his previous failures! ACME Unlimited has been enhanced! If any National Action Wile E is on would become a crit if ACME Unlimited lands heads, it automatically lands heads!
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