Interlude: Luck be a Lady- Wild Card into a Dead Man's Hand
"Oh, let Mr. Sinatra deal with Third Most Hated Enemy Syndrome. I'm not going to tick the government off for declaring a dictatorship twice in the same year. But I'm not going to risk your lives for Syndrome either. If he wins, good for him. If not, tough cookies. We have a mission to complete, and that mission is science!"

You pause for a minute, realizing you just yelled the word 'science' aloud. Thankfully no one appears to be paying attention to you.

"Go my minions." You whisper. "Go and bring me the science!"
---
While the King of Kronos Corp is busy tangling with the mess of villains, you and your team did what you came here to do: take Syndrome for everything he was worth.

Intrigue Roll- Can you avoid being noticed?
DC 60/80/100/110 (avoid being seen by the crowd/Sinatron/the livestream/Xanatos
42+28+36+5 (Secret Keeper)=111

Agent Russ quietly disables the livestream in order to make the next few steps easier. Your entire team moves like a well oiled machine. Mirage coordinates everyone, Russ is grabbing prototypes off shelves so fast you can't even see them leave, Shego is moving with the skill and subtlety you would expect of a career criminal, the supers who haven't abandoned you are robbing the vaults blind, and you… well, you pick out what looks the shiniest.

What are you nabbing? Remember, Shego's giving you first dibs, but you have to split everything 50/50. She's probably not up for a technology exchange at the moment, so what you get is what you get. (Choose 4 as your part of the haul)

[ ] Adaptive anti-cape AI
The Omnidroid protocols are designed specifically to take down Cape criminals, and are well known for being able to adapt to fighters on the fly- when they're not being bricked by ENCOM OS, that is. Thankfully some of the 'on display' examples were not powered when the Chip distributed, so they are still a chance to grab Syndrome's own combat subroutines.

[ ] Compact rocketry
The Kronos Corporation has man-portable rocket boots that allow any individual to zip around the air like they were flying naturally, but that's not the important breakthrough here. The important part is that they've managed to condense rocketry down to something that doesn't run incredibly hot and can function off of a limited energy supply.

[ ] Zero point energy tech
There's way more to zero point energy than those zappy gloves that Syndrome likes to use to restrain people. It actually refers to the lowest possible energy state a quantum mechanical system can have, but you highly suspect the PR goons don't know or care and were only looking for something that sounded cool. Regardless of how it actually works, 'Zero-Point' energy is one of Syndrome's most closely guarded secrets. There's only one example of the tech on the floor, which means you'll be starting from the ground up, but this is still a chance to get your mitts on something that is otherwise very proprietary.

[ ] Ablative armor
Omnidroids are practically synonymous with toughness. Their armor is incredibly strong, taking a monomolecular edge or diamond-plated drilling to penetrate. You want you some of that!

[ ] Flying cars
Syndrome beat you to the flying car! Drat. There's only one thing to do; steal his flying car and then use it to build a better one! Since Syndrome has done all the hard proof of concept work, you can jump right to the practicalities of large-scale production. And also making it look less stupid.

[ ] Climate Controlled Environments
It might not be as flashy as the energy weapons, but Syndrome's got a project for self-contained environments that can become a viable site for plant growth no matter the surroundings. It looked like he was planning on using these out in the Mojave as a way of increasing his food production.

[ ] Robo-Doppelgangers (physical) already obtained

[ ] Robo-Doppelgangers (AI)- MUST TAKE anti-cape AI as well
The exhibit Sinatra was standing at is long abandoned amidst all the chaos, but you can still find some specs for the prototype AI he's running. This is far, far more advanced than anything you've been able to come up with, and also leagues better than the existing Kronos AI it was presumably based off of. Could Syndrome have finally invented something that can pass the Turing test?

[ ] Just a whole load of cash (Gain 5 income)
You're in a casino, after all.

Note that for anything you pick, you will not be obtaining the completed technology- you'll only be obtaining the plans and prototypes. You'll still have to do some research of your own to leap to the next level of tech.
---
While you loot the joint, Sinatra finishes replacing his ammo, looking at Syndrome with a dismissive expression.

"Get the mug outta here." Sinatra says, waving his hand.

The massive super in the blue mask and pompadour rushes forwards, fists ready to pummel.

Bulbox Martial Check: 56+40+10=106
Syndrome Contest Check: 71+42=113

The two of them clash, powers almost evenly matched. The blue guy dodges and weaves through Syndrome's Zero Point blasts, making it to within a few feet before Syndrome stops him. His pompadour is frozen in place by the beam, leaving Syndrome to snarl in his face.

Up on the balcony, the newly assembled smug club looks down with interest.

Three-way intrigue check = ???

Xanatos smiles. "This is turning out to be quite a show."

"Indeed." Khan drawls. "I wonder if-"

Voyd Martial Check: 62+28=90
Syndrome Contest Check: 12+42=54

Voyd's portals continue to be an excellent counter to Zero Point technology, allowing her to zap herself across the room faster than the living tantrum can follow. She manages to get a few hits in, forcing Syndrome back across the room.

"Ah yes. The girl shows promise." Khan finishes.

"Portals are… a useful tactic." Toffee admits.

"I do hope we don't end up in a bidding war gentlemen." Xanatos replies.

"Perish the thought. If I have my way no active duty 'super' will set foot in Cape Suzette until the cows come home." Khan agrees.

Syndrome Martial Check 65+42=107
Momakase Martial Check 36+28=64

Recovering, Syndrome fires a wrist-mounted rocket at the ninja chef, catching her unaware. Momakase tries to leap out of the way, but is too late, and she is flung to the ground by the force of the explosion.

"That can't have felt good." Xanatos winces. Toffee is about to reply, but he is interrupted by a buzzing from his pocket. He pulls out an odd looking device. It seems to be some sort of pager or something, but looks like one of those miniature beauty mirrors. He flips it open and looks inside it for a moment. Toffee's eyes widen, and he stands up abruptly with the screech of chair legs.

"Leaving so soon?" Xanatos asks.

"I have to go." Toffee replies, and leaves without another word.

"Huh. What's eating him?"

Shere Khan shrugs neutrally.

---

Momakase Martial Check: 35+28=63
Kronos Security Contest Check: 91+28=119

Struggling to her feet, Momakase finds herself surrounded by still-loyal Kronos Corp goons. You can tell from the way her eyes move that she's seriously considering cutting and running. But then…

The gigantic monstrosity of rebar, concrete and sludge barrels forwards. Its massive hands curling in anticipation. With one hand holding up Bulbox, and the other covering Momakase and the portaler, Syndrome is distracted. He leaps late, his feet just barely escaping Mass's grasp. And then...

The tides of fate turn. And Mass grasps hold of Syndrome's cape.

Mass Martial Check: 100+92(critical reroll)+38=230
Syndrome Contest Check: 01+42= CRITICAL FAILURE
Mass CRITICAL SUCCESS, Syndrome CRITICAL FAILURE

Back and forth, crack by crack, Mass slams Syndrome's mortal form against the ground. And with every impact, he recites:

"No longer did Zeus restrain his wrath, but burned his heart to flaming ash,
From Olympus forth they strode, New Gods in armor, Hepheastus bestowed,
From heaven to gaia the lightning did fall, the might of the thunder and storm consumed all
The earth it heaved, the water boiled, the cosmos by the war despoiled,
The Titans fought, the gods returned, the ichor flowed, the cosmos burned,
The sky fell, the ground did rise, gods and mortal alike dies,
The Titans fought, the Titans lost, imprisoned eternal they paid the cost,
Zeus cast down his father, the father of all, all faded to black…
As KRONOS did fall."

---

The room goes completely silent as the ramifications of what just happened sink in. Even Xanatos and Shere Khan are silent as they take in how the landscape has just tectonically shifted. Judging from the way his broken body is twitching, Syndrome is still alive, but he looks to be unconscious and a few of his limbs are bent at odd angles.

Shego looks like she's having the time of her life right now. Her lip twitches in a futile attempt to conceal a malicious smirk, and when she finally brings a hand up to her face you can tell she's holding back laughter. You wince a little. Third Most Hated Enemy or not, that's gotta hurt.

The other capes in the room feel no compulsion to hide their amusement, as a rousing cheer breaks out once the giant raises his hands over Syndrome's prone form!

"Well, ring a ding ding!" Sinatron smiles. "I'll admit folks, I didn't expect things to go this well. But I won't say no to a bargaining chip like this!" Sinatron strides over the fallen titan. "Make sure to get every last doodad offa him. Put him in his skivvies if you have to, just make sure his poker hand's empty."

You blink twice, looking at the way the tables have turned… and then come to a conclusion.

You've got the loot. You've got the Chip.

"Time to go, everyone." You say, spinning on your heel and heading towards the exit. "Before anything else happens."

"Lemme tell you, I've got big plans for this money." Shego informs you as you start to leave.
"Now, Drakktech makes enough in a day to make this haul look like chump change, but it's what I'm gonna do that matters. A donation into a pro-Super charity… all in Syndrome's name, of course."

Wow. That is evil! You're surprised that she managed to come up with something like that.

Wait a second.

Stewardship Check: Do you know who the money should be given to for maximum efficacy?
DC 80 needed: 23+24+23+20(Talked with Winston)=90
Success!

"Do you really wanna make Syndrome mad? Because I know exactly who you should give it to."

"Yeah? Who?" Shego asks, obviously skeptical.

"Remember that depressed shrimp-eating guy? He used to be the head of one of the biggest pro-Super companies in the nation, all until it got bought out from under him. I bet he'd know exactly where to send the money just to make Syndrome really feel the burn."

Shego grins.

Behind you, Sinatron continues speaking.

"Now then my dear compatriots, with this, we have a real revolution on our hands."

"Feels more like a hostage situation." the portal girl adds.

"What's that now?" The robotic entertainer asks, spinning on his heel.

"Hi, uh, sorry, haven't been properly introduced. I'm… Voyd, I do portals."

"Nice ta meet ya sweetheart, now what's your feedback exactly?"

"I… look. I'm all for the idea of freeing Vegas. And seeing Syndrome thrown around is… really cathartic, actually. But we're like… six people?"

'Old Man McGucket' cackles madly as his flying monstrosity crashes through a nearby window and flies off into the night. You can see him disappearing into the middle distance.

"...Five. Five people." She amends. "The point is, we don't have any way of holding Vegas. We don't have a police force, or an army. We certainly don't have Omnidroids." She adds, kicking one of the disabled robots.

"I hate to say it but the girl is right." Momakase agrees, sheathing her katana. "I'll stick around as long as you pay me, but I don't fancy our long term prospects in nation building."

Sinatron blinks. Then, slowly, he reaches down to the Omnidroid at his feet, and pulls out a small puck of metal and plastic.

"Is that the Chip Syndrome was going on about?" Momakase asks, always interested in valuable technology.

"No." Sinatron says, holding the trap chip up to a red robotic eye.

"Then what is it?"

"I don't know." He grins again. "But I know who does."

Learning Check: How $@#%ed are you?
DC 85 needed: 11+38+15+7=71
Failure!

You're no professional, but you're gonna say… very. Sinatron wants the Chip, and he knows… something.
---
What do you do?

[ ] Get to Gwen
Gwen is the only person not on your team that knows that you and Shego are behind all this. Last you saw she was blending into the crowd fleeing The Sands. There's no evidence to pin it all on you legally, but more importantly she also knows you have the Palladium Chip. Plus Shego might appreciate it a bit if you take the time to help her ally. Send someone to secure her, pronto.
Who do you send?
[ ] Write-In

[ ] Just Leave!
Gwen's an adult who can take care of herself. She probably won't squeal and if she does, you'll be halfway to state lines by then. You've got everything you came for, and if you stick around too much longer you're liable to get caught up in a fight. Have Shego send her a warning message, go get Technor, and get out of here!

[ ]Write In

There will be a one hour moratorium on voting.
 
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Interlude: Luck be a Lady- All or Nothing at All
[x] Adaptive anti-cape AI
[x] Zero point energy tech
[x] Robo-Doppelgangers (AI)
[x] Climate Controlled Environments

[X] Get to Gwen
-[X] Russ, with Mirage as Woman in the Chair

This could potentially become a problem. You're unaware of where Gwen is right now, but you have to make sure that she gets out of here before Sinatron is able to grill her for details on the Chip. She's the one loose end in this scheme, and you've done well so far- you can't relax yet!

"Shego, call Gwen and tell her that I'm sending someone to pick her up. Tell her that if she sees some government spook coming towards her, she should go towards him and not run away."

Agent Russ' habitual frown deepens into a scowl for a few seconds before pulling out his keyfob and hurrying away.

Intrigue Roll: Can Russ get away without being noticed?
DC 90 needed: 56+36+28=120
Success!

Russ melts into the shadows so quickly you're not sure when he actually disappeared. The man is a professional.

Intrigue Roll: Can you get away without being noticed?
DC 100 needed: 63+14+28=105
Success!

You have a bit harder of a time. There's no longer a crowd to really get lost in, so you're stuck sneaking between abandoned slot machines and upturned poker tables. At a couple of points you actually need some of Monogram's Agents to throw a rock or something as a distraction. Shego is far more professional about it, which you suppose makes sense. She was a career criminal before the whole Drakktech thing took off, after all.

Sinatron Intrigue Roll: Find Gwen
DC 120 Find Gwen before Russ does, DC 90 Find Gwen right after Russ does
47+30+24=101

Agent Russ manages to find Gwen waiting on the Strip about a block away from The Sands. There are all sorts of people milling around, some still running, others coming to see what the commotion is. The rumor mill is going to be going into overdrive about this, especially since the livestream got turned off right before the big climax.

"Miss Grayson." Agent Russ says, stepping up to her with the practiced nonchalance of a long time agent. "I'm with you."

"What's going on?!" The technopath demands, looking around the street. "I left in the chaos, what happened in there?"

"Syndrome is down. Your new tin soldier wants the chip. We have to get out of here before-"

"Not so fast." replies Momakase, leaping down from the nearest streetlight. She lands gracefully on the ground before pulling out her katana. The crowd around you starts to panic again.

"Rushmore." Russ… curses?

"I've found her! She's with someone else." Momakase relays back, and a moment later, Sinatron comes flying around the corner, rocket heels spitting fire. He lands smoothly, turning the forward momentum into a slow walk.

"Hello there Miss Grayson. I must repeat again how nice it was to meet you. I should thank you actually, without you I never would have thrown off those shackles from that great old bore. I'd shake your hand again but well, I hope you'll understand why I want to keep my distance. Once bitten, you know."

Agent Russ' entire body is tense, watching, waiting for any moment to make a break for it.

"Now, I'll be direct with you. All I need to make my victory over that simpering manchild complete is the Palladium Chip. And unless I'm very much mistaken, you must know who has it."

"So what if I do?" Gwen asks in response.

"I've never approved of violence against pretty women Miss Grayson, especially not when they have a brain like yours. Why don't you just tell me? I can assure you, a Free Vegas will have a far more Super-friendly posture than the old. All sorts of new opportunities for you, for Sky High, and all you need to do is tell me who you've squirreled that Chip off to."

Gwen's eyes flick back and forth between Sinatron and Agent Russ.

"Of course, you could choose to take your chances. Though I gotta say…" Sinatra continues as the rest of his Super cohorts appear on the scene, "I don't like 'em."

Sinatron Diplomacy roll: Convince Gwen to turn mercenary
DC 130 needed: 92+32+9=133
Bare Success

Gwen looks genuinely conflicted, torn between her loyalty to Shego and the promises Sinatron is making. She bares her teeth... and then she makes her choice.

"It's the Pharmacist." She says quickly. "Him or one of his lackies."

Agent Russ is running before she finishes speaking. Mirage relays what just happened to you as you, a few blocks away, are in the middle of trying to hail a cab.

Sinatron taps his chin. "Doofenshmirtz, huh? Guess the crazy old doc got real riled about not being invited. You will not regret this Miss Grayson, unless of course you're trying to lie to little old me."

Uh oh.

Shego drags you across the street to a bunch of bushes near the Bellagio, where a beat up vehicle that looks like a cross between a flying saucer and a Jetsons car is hiding. After unceremoniously shoving you inside, she flips a switch and the entire contraption takes to the air!

She glances back at you resting facedown in the backseat, not even having enough time to put on a seatbelt.

Shego Diplomacy Check: Can she avoid tossing Dr. D out like she would someone else?
DC 55 needed: 61+18+15=94
Success!

Shego shakes her head, ignoring the thought. Sure, you might have a few… okay, a lot of similarities to her old boss, but you've proved to be competent tonight and she really doesn't want to stab you in the back.

What do you do?

[ ] Run!
You've wasted enough time in the city, and now that you know someone is coming for you… well, you'd better get out of there. Technor can fly, Russ can take Monogram on his Spycycle, and Shego's got the hoverpod that you're currently riding in. Aaaaassuming she doesn't just drop you like a hot doonkleberry pie like you assume Gwen is hoping she does.

[ ] Talk Sinatron Down
This is just a huge misunderstanding. You'd like to see Syndrome taken down just as much as the next guy, but come on- Vegas just can't stand on its own! Maybe you can… work something out? Something that doesn't involve massive societal breakdown across the US?

[ ] Fight!
Okay, a bunch of Supers are not the easiest thing to deal with, but you've got Shego, Russ, Technor, and Monogram on your side, along with whatever OWCA agents he has left. You might be able to squeak out a win here.

There will be a half hour moratorium on voting.
 
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Interlude: Luck be a Lady- They Can't Take That Away From Me
[X] Run!

You don't like the odds of your heist team going up against all of Sinatron's supers and the android himself, and staying around to talk him down will probably be an exercise in futility. You don't even have to tell Shego what to do, she's already speeding towards the city limits!

"What the heck happened with Gwen down there? I thought she was on our side!"

Shego snorts. "It's more accurate to say she's on her own side. When you're up against four supers and a guy who can wield charisma like a knife, what do you expect to happen?"

"So you're not mad?"

"Oh no, I'm furious. I'm not going to send her any scholarships for a year, at least."

"And… that's it?"

"Yeah, what did you expect? I declare some horrible vendetta against her and we spend the next five years duking it out? Please. Where else would I get all my superpowered cannon fodder from, train the little brats into mercenaries myself? Give it a couple months and she'll be back to her normal belligerent self."

How about that. You figured your Most Hated Enemy was a lot more spiteful.

Looking down at Vegas, you can see that the vast majority of the city has been unaffected by the chaos at the Sands. The rest of the casinos seem to be operational, and the only evidence The Sands is no longer functioning is the faint wisps of smoke trailing out of one of the windows. Then you look out to the darkened Mojave and wonder how, exactly, you're going to get out of here.

A glowing green ring opens up in the sky about twenty feet above you.

Intrigue Check: Avoid the portaler!
DC 75 needed: 47+14+22=83
Success!

Voyd drops out of the portal, timing it to land straight on your hovermobile, but Shego has other plans! She turns the plane into a spin, nearly launching you out of your seat and onto the fake Eiffel Tower!

"Put your seatbelt on, you idiot!"

The portal girl waves her hands, forming one portal underneath her and another above, effectively sending her falling in an eternal loop, until…

Intrigue Check: Avoid the portaler!
DC 75 needed: 23+14+22=59
Failure!

She forms a portal at an angle midair and launches out of it, latching onto the hovermobile like a lamprey!

"Sorry guys, but Mr. Sinatra really needs that chip!"

Another portal opens up in front of you, just in front of the strong pompadour'ed man!

Shego growls as she turns the vehicle into another set of tight spins and loops, making you become intimately familiar with how yesterday's laundry must feel.

Voyd Martial Check: Avoid being tossed off!
DC 75 needed: 11+28=39
Failure!

The villain tries her hardest to cling on but her best effort isn't quite good enough! Shego sends her tumbling through the portal to knock into the strongman, making them both fall to the ground!

You have a few seconds to gain more ground, but after Voyd recovers another portal opens in front of you, this one disgorging the man of the hour himself, Sinatron hovering in front of you with a wide grin.

Before the portal can close Gwen jumps through, landing in the front seat next to Shego.

"What was that about?!" Shego snaps.

"I thought you were gonna drop the Pharmacist!" Gwen yells back.

"Why would I drop the Pharmacist?!?"

"Look at him, he's a loser!"

"Dr. D's the one that got into the vault without Syndrome even noticing!"

"Him?!?! I'm the one who made all this possible!"

"Oh, you think that's a good thing?!"

"Uh…" you start to interject.

"Shut up!" both of them snap.

"Ahem." Sinatra interrupts. "Far be it from me to stop a catfight, but I'm afraid I will have to ask for that Chi-"

Gwen Grayson Martial Check: Some privacy, please?
98+28+68+20(technopath)=214
Sinatron Martial check
38+37+28=103
Critical Success

Gwen slashes an arm violently through the air, and Sinatron's metal form goes careening back down towards the earth. You think you see one of his rocket boots short out. Voyd tries to portal Sinatron back up, but Shego's plasma blasts are apparently accurate even at long range, because Voyd has to focus on suddenly being on fire.

Note to self: Do not interrupt catfights.

In lieu of getting involved in the continuing shouting match, you decide to check up on the rest of your team.

Agent Russ Intrigue roll
27+38+28=93
Momakase Intrigue roll
12+24+10=46
Critical Success!

Russ reports that he was able to lose the villains coming after him without much trouble. He summoned the Spycycle within thirty seconds of fleeing, and that thing runs fast and quiet. He picked up Monogram and is now leaving city limits towards Doofania, or 'Danville' as he still insists on calling it. Technor reports no one has come after him yet, and intends to slip out of the city and meet up with you once you are no longer actively being attacked.

Speaking of. Another portal pops into the air before you.

"Uh, ladies?"

"Not now, Dr. D."

"But there's a-"

"No!"

"I really think you should-"

"What is it, Drakken!??!" Shego yells out loud.

There is an awkward pause.

Bulbox Martial roll
DC 100
71+40+28=139
Success!

Falling out of the portal, the super-strong super you saw before manages to land on the hood of your getaway vehicle, fingers digging into the metal and ruining the paint job.

Bulbox Martial roll
44+40+28=112
Shego Martial Contest
54+68+28=150
Shego success!

With a cry of anger, Shego rips the hood of the car from its hinges and flings it out into the night sky, taking Bulbox with it. He shouts in protest only to be saved at the last second by Voyd.

Shego Martial Roll
72+14+68=154
Sinatron and Voyd contest
4+37+28=69
Shego critical success!

With another well placed plasma blast, Voyd is slammed into the ground before she can launch another portal. She tries to stand up, but after a few seconds of exertion crumples back to the earth.

With his rockets broken and portaler out of commission, Sinatron has no means of getting to you. He doesn't have much to do but watch as you soar away, his gaze inscrutable.

Technor groups up with you a few minutes later. There's a very awkward silence between the four of you.

Diplomacy Challenge: Can you break the tension?
DC 110 needed: 96+15+24=135
Success!

You clear your throat awkwardly. "Sooo… " you begin to say, before realizing you have absolutely no idea how to break the awkward tension. Then, like a bolt from the blue, it hits you.

"Uh, Shego! Didn't you say you had that plan to use all that money to benefit supers?"

That does it. Shego is only too happy to talk about her plans to stick it to Syndrome… or well, the memory of Syndrome, at least, in the most karmic way possible. It's possibly the only topic Shego and Gwen wouldn't be arguing about right now. You manage to turn what could have been a deeply awkward silent ride into an enjoyable three way gloat session. From there you naturally get onto the topic of Syndrome's complete decimation, and wondering what will happen to him next. This was a heck of a way to spend your mid-December. Whatever happens, you can say this for certain: It was a very good year.

---
It takes another seven hours or so to fly back to the sovereign nation of Doofania, so you arrive at the outskirts of your fair city around 8 AM. All of you are exhausted, even TECHNOR, THE MECHANICAL MAN, who complains at length about being forced to fly without a recharge for so long. Agent Russ and Monogram are still a few hours behind you, Russ apparently taking the highway.

As you slowly soar down towards the mad panoply of your home city, a wave of satisfaction washes over you. A lot happened, and I mean, a lot happened. But you did it. You got the science, you got the Chip, you quite thoroughly ruined Syndrome's day, and you did it all without even infuriating your Most Hated Enemy into assaulting you. The only person who knows you were involved is a smarmy robot with no way of holding his territory and no way to prove anything. All in all, you call it a very successful day, and are looking forward to relaxing in the beautiful city you call ho...

Why does Doofania have a giant volcano in the middle of it?

On closer inspection, it's not just a volcano. It's a volcano covered with giant ants. You pinch your nose. "Did somebody get ahold of my old Mountain-Out-of-a-Molehill-Inator?"

You demand that Shego take you in closer. The gigantic earthen monstrosity is very real, right down to the lava running down its sides, but you notice something odd. That lava isn't hot at all! It isn't burning any of the buildings it touches. In fact…

You reach down to touch the 'lava flow' and bring your finger to your mouth to taste it.

"What is it this time?" Shego asks, rolling her eyes. She's tired, so it doesn't look like her heart is in the gesture.

Your fists clench. "Baking soda."
 
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Interlude: Luck be a Lady- Ant Misbehavin'
The skies of Doofania burned as dozens of volcanoes belched out thick clouds of ash into the atmosphere, leaking their synthetic lava all over the streets. Dozens of robots styled after ancient hoplites patrolled through the streets, ignoring any civilians they may have conquered in lieu of their true prey: ants.

It all started on the day that Dr. Doofenshmirtz decided he needed to go out of town on a 'very important mission'. Seemingly overnight, gigantic volcanoes sprouted out of the ground, the hoplite bots emerged, and they set about taking over several production facilities to produce more of themselves, demanding that the workers forsake their previous Supreme Leader Doofenshmirtz in favor of the one who truly deserved to rule- Emperor Stanley!

This, to put it mildly, annoyed Ghengis Khan.

Khan had been on the trail of the capes he suspected to be operating in the area for weeks now, just as you'd told him, and had gotten several promising leads. However, Professor Von Drake had taken extra time with Ghengis to go over metaphor and slang, and so when his captured mooks informed him that his targets had 'gone underground' he unfortunately got the wrong idea.

Doofania's underground had turned from the boring mundane mire of bedrock and clay that most cities had into a labyrinthine array of tunnels crisscrossing subway lines and sewer pipes, all of them hewn from the rock without the use of heavy industrial machinery. Instead, it looked as if… they had been chewed out?

It wasn't until the fifth hour that the antborgs emerged. They were gigantic metallic monstrosities at least six feet tall, formed out of smooth purple and blue plates of metal, set in the configuration that almost, but not quite, resembled the rough biology of an ant. Instead of being purely robotic, each of these machines were in fact piloted by a single insect.

After flying home to Doofania and seeing the state it was left in, Doofenshmirtz had promptly retired to his penthouse and immediately fell asleep, having stayed up for the majority of the previous day on an incredibly stressful heist and declaring that "If they aren't hurting anyone then they can have their fun for eight hours. I'll re-conquer the tri-state area in the morning." Shego disappeared into one of the Tipton Hotels, not willing to make the trip back to Middleton just yet.

When Agent Russ and Francis pulled into town, Russ reacted to the sight with a resigned sigh. It was far too early in the morning to be dealing with this sort of nonsense, he had spent most of the night driving cross-country and checking over his shoulder to make sure the megalomaniacal android duplicate of a famous Vegas entertainer wasn't following them. It was only after crossing state lines that they managed to relax, and kill a bit of time discussing the finer points of nineteenth century operettas.

"Great googly moogly, what happened here?!"

"Supervillains." Russ replied after a moment.

"How do you-"

"You get a sense for these sorts of things. Any second now we're going to see-"

"Attention citizens of Nova Americum! It is your Emperor Stanley speaking!"

Russ raises a 'do you see?' hand as what looked like a marble-colored eagle drone soared overhead. "Please ignore the rampaging ant bots. My control over this city is as secure as that of Rome itself, and all shall respect the authority of your rightful Augustus!"

A passing giant ant announced a rival broadcast from a speaker tied to its back. "They're not ant bots, Stanley. You can tell from the way the black chitin crushes you underfoot." A monotone voice replied.

"Citizens, ignore the Bug Queen Lizzie! Her tactics proved ineffective in St. Canard, and they shall prove meaningless here! Your helpless formica will fall before the might of my Hoplites, just as Hannibal did!"

"Your demise will be slow. Do you know what ants do to their prey once they've captured it?"

"Your conquest will be no swifter! You will soon burn under my lava flows!"

"You mean the baking soda."

"Ooohh, I hate you so much! I may have had to cut back on Mt. Vesuvius with the baking soda, but you will still feel the wrath of my mighty legions!"

"Still not one of my weirdest missions. Come on Francis, let's see what the Good Doctor wants done about this."
---
When Francis finally returns to his office, the first thing he does is put the handful of Sands Casino poker chips in his pocket on a shelf filled with other knickknacks. The second thing he does is call for a meeting of OWCA.

"Agents! I don't understand how this could've happened! We're… we're supposed to be better prepared than this! Unless…" Francis turns his gaze over the assembly of animals. "...I knew it. We have a mole in the organization."

"Not you, Agent M!" Monogram interjected just as the agent started to make squeaks of protest. "You know what I mean! A turncoat! A defector! A… wait a minute."

Realization dawned on the Major just as the outer wall to his office exploded, courtesy of a ten-foot antborg covered in shiny red plating.

"Agent A, how could you?!"

There was silence for a moment before the massive, ant-shaped robot pulled out a small 2x3 sign.

I'm tired of playing second fiddle to a bunch of vertebrates! It read, followed shortly by We outnumber you ten billion to one!, Queen Lizzie will be the one to lead us to the future, and finally not you, Francis!

"W-where did you get the-"

Stole them from Coyote. The ant replied. Farewell, bipeds! Next time, you will be crushed underfoot!

The gigantic cyborg lept from the 127th floor of the DEI building, slicing a Normbot in half as it descended. Not even ten seconds after it left, Dr. Doofenshmirtz stepped out of the elevator. "Okay, everyone! I got some sleep, now I'm ready to… what the heck happened here?!"

"Betrayal." Francis intoned ominously.
--
What do you want to do?

[ ] Attempt communications (These two seem to have more of a quarrel with each other than anything else, you're just caught in the middle. Maybe one of them would see reason, leave town… or even enter your employ?)
-[ ] With Lizzie
-[ ] With Stanley
[ ] Attack (Forget about communicating, you just need to attack them! Sure, Shego's asleep right now, but the rest of you can probably do fine!)
-[ ] Attack Stanley
-[ ] Attack Lizzie
-[ ] Attack Both (Gives neither a chance to fortify, but will be much more difficult)

There is a one hour moratorium on voting.
 
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Interlude: Luck be a Lady- Flame In Your Heart
[X] Attack (Forget about communicating, you just need to attack them! Sure, Shego's asleep right now, but the rest of you can probably do fine!)
-[X] Attack Both (Gives neither a chance to fortify, but will be much more difficult)

You've had just about enough of this. The first thing you come home to after a perfectly successful heist is a baking soda volcano, of all things?! Who does that so-called Emperor think he is? And that crazy ant lady, too- what gives her the right to just tromp all over your fair city?

Not today! You slip by the break room to pick up the rest of your team. You briefly think about trying to wake Shego up, but based on the way the windows of the hotel flare with green light when you dial her cell phone, you might want to reconsider.

The first guy to go has to be the baking soda volcano guy. You're not even sure there's a word for the transgression he just committed, but you'll ask Professor Von Drake to come up with one later. Now, you're not the greatest at combat, much to your ancestor's chagrin, but you decide to come along anyway. Most of your PMC is tied up… elsewhere, and most of your other employees are all very busy right now. Normally you wouldn't even consider this level of physical exertion, but come on. It's a baking soda volcano!

Before marching out on the mad, self-declared 'Emperor's' lair, you grab a microphone to make a PA announcement across the city. It's time for him to know just how badly he screwed up.

"You made a big mistake, Stanley, for you see… I have something of a history with baking soda volcanoes. Way back in my first science fair, when I built my very first inator… it lost to a baking soda volcano! The next year, I made an even bigger and better one, and it still lost to a baking soda volcano! Even when I came over to the States to learn poetry, my very best poems still lost to a baking soda volcano, inexplicably! You have no idea how deep the depths of my hatred for baking soda volcanoes run!"

With that, you set the mic down and get to marching.

One of the marble eagle drones flies overhead crackles to life with a squawk of feedback. "Oh, but that's where you're wrong, doctor! You grew up hating the baking soda volcano, resenting it… while I was shaped by it, molded by it! I embraced the baking soda volcano in a way you have failed to do! Already, your petty hatred has led you to forsake a defensive position in favor of a direct assault! We shall see how it works out for you!"

From the rooftops, a group of hoplite guards appear from behind the gargoyles! They level boxy-looking weapons at your group and pull the triggers, spraying chunks of molten stone all across the street!

Martial Check: Avoid the lava!
DC 100 needed: 47+13+55+7=122
Success!

Temujin jumps back as soon as the molten rocks leave the guns, and by the time they're impacting the ground his spear has already cleaved several hoplite bots in two. The eagle drone voices a screech of displeasure at this new development. "You… reprehensible barbarians! I've built the foundations of a New Rome and you come along to tear them to the ground! GO BACK TO THE BARBARY COAST!"

Martial Check: Avoid the Hoplites!
DC 120 needed: 78+13+55+7=153
Success!

A swarm of robotic hoplite soldiers… come to think, weren't they Greek?... charge forwards. Temujin bodily picks you up and leaps to a nearby roof, getting you out of the way of their red-hot spears.

Temujin Martial Check: 71+13+55+7=146
Hoplite Martial Contest:95+23+20+15=153
Hoplite Success!

Returning to the fray, Genghis attempts to counter-charge, but there's too many of them. Temujin gets hemmed in!

Martial Check: Defend against the Phalanx!
DC 130 needed: 18+13+55+7=93
Failure!

A moment later the Phalanx closes around him, cutting Genghis off from the light. They pile around him, and for a moment you worry, but then-

Temujin Martial Check: 71+13+55+7=146
Hoplite Martial Contest: 12+23+20+15=70
Spectacular Success

Temujin explodes out of the Hoplite swarm, sending robotic limbs flying everywhere! With your PMC on hand, the remains of the swarm is quickly sidelined. You and your squad proceed up the side of the volcano, past its loathsome sodium bicarbonate flows, and into the 'throne room' that rests about halfway up. You notice that the walk isn't as agonizing as it could have been- that workout you did with those exercise bands really helped!

As soon as you cross the threshold, a bunch of sentry turrets turn on you!

Martial Check: Avoid the Sentry Turrets!
DC 120 needed:56+13+55+7=131
Success!

Genghis leaps forwards, dodging fire from a row of floating Greco-Roman pillar turrets one after the other. He lands directly in front of 'Emperor' Stanley's throne. Technor annihilates the pillars a moment later with a laser blast.

Martial Check: Avoid Stanley's last line of defense!
DC 140 needed:78+13+55+7=153
Success!

The last line of hoplites is knocked aside as Khan simply smashes through them, leaving your PMC to do what he trained them to. The line to Stanley is now free and clear.

"I SEE YOU'VE COME TO STEAL MY TECHNOLOGY! WELL, YOU WON'T GET IT, YOU REPROBATES!" Stanley howls, stabbing a button on the armrest of his throne.

All around you the hoplite bots seem to start to liquefy, melting into a formless shape extremely rapidly, weapons included. It seems like Stanley realized the advantage of including self-destruct buttons in his creations, a tactic you had to respect.

"TECHNOR, THE MECHANICAL MAN, demands your surrender!" the floating psychotherapist proclaims.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever." The chubby man says disinterestedly, raising his hands to avoid being skewered. Quite a contrast to how he was howling at you just a minute ago, but you're not going to complain about a lucky break. "I'm not gonna fight you hand to hand, but I promise you this… ROME WILL RISE AGAIN!" he screams as he's hauled off in handcuffs by some random members of your goon squad.

You sigh as you look around the volcano lair, feeling slightly dirty about being inside a massive volcano dedicated to one of your most hated substances. Still, the kid did have some impressive technology… it's only a shame that he self-destructed it all. Can you recover anything from this place?

Learning Check: Can you recover any of Stanley's technology?
DC 120 needed: 81+38+20+7=146
Success
---
You guess at his password- Julius Caesar's birthday, of course- and find a self-destruct reverse switch on the side of his throne. You only have time to save one piece of technology- what will it be?
[ ] Hoplite Bots (While not as impressive as your Normbots, the hoplites can't be dismissed entirely. They're apparently capable of self-replicating and are tough enough to stand up to an angry Mongol for at least a few minutes.)
[ ] Hoplite Weapons (The hoplite forces wield white-hot spears and guns that can somehow shoot lava. How cool would it be to outfit your PMC with this stuff?)
[ ] Terraforming (Stanley managed to somehow construct a massive volcano made out of actual rock in the middle of your city in a matter of hours. I mean, it's not like you haven't done the same thing, but imagine if you could do it without it mysteriously exploding the next day! Speaking of, Doofania now has a mountain in the middle of it you've got no idea how to get rid of. So that's… nice?)
[ ] Hover Technology (You checked one of those eagle scout things your Normbots shot down, and turns out they are in fact made of marble. Apparently Stanley had some anti-grav going on to keep them flying. You might be able to get some use out of synergizing his techniques with what you know of Flubber.)

---
"Okay, Mirage, I need to ask for a damage report. How's the rest of the city doing with the invasion?"

"Unexpectedly, casualties are at… negative one. I must admit that I'm surprised, the robotic forces seem to be avoiding civilians in favor of battling each other."

"Negative one?! How's that work?"

"Well, there have been some reports of a 'devil girl' cleaving two antborgs in half with a gigantic battleaxe. We have absolutely no record of her existence, anywhere, so for all intents and purposes the fighting population of the city has actually increased since the attack started."

Devil girl? What's that, a cape of some sort?

Learning Check: Have you ever heard of the 'devil girl'?
DC 300 needed: 56+38+20+7=121
Failure!

Nope.

"Devil girl?"

"According to eyewitness reports, the individual in question appears to be in her late teens or early twenties, blonde hair, height of approximately 1.67 meters, dresses in dark colors with a concealed face, her moniker apparently comes from the 'devil horns' she wears on her head, though far more notable is the weapon she wields- a red battleaxe that she utilizes with surprising agility and skill, suggesting enhancements of some sort. Whether those are mechanical or genetic I am unsure. A clip of her got onto the local news, so I can confirm the reports seem legitimate, but she's disappeared completely since then. I haven't been able to find her. She disappeared before you even got back from the gala."

Hmm. Something to keep in mind for later, perhaps.

No matter. One supervillain down, one to go!
---
Learning Check: Navigate Lizzie's tunnels
DC 70 needed: 54+15+9+7=85
Success!

Agent Russ and Monogram, both dead tired but having acquired a certain degree of camaraderie over the long trip back from Vegas, were able to navigate the twisting web Queen Lizzie had dug underneath your fair city with relative ease. The paths all radiated out from a central chamber.

Intrigue Check: Avoid Agent A's ambush
DC 120 needed: 86+36+18+7=147
Success!

Halfway through a particularly narrow tunnel, Agent Russ held up a hand. Shifting into the shadows, he rolled around a corner and fired into the darkness!

Russ Martial Check: 28+24+38+7+8=105
Agent A Martial Contest: 11+30+20=61
Agent Russ Success!

Two shots impacted directly into the robotic carapace of an antborg, the third going straight through a stiff felt fedora! It seems Agent A had been lying in wait.

I told you we would meet again! Agent A's last sign read, though no one read it on account of being in a dark tunnel. A moment later A charged.

Agent A Martial Check: 30+30+20=80
Russ Martial Contest:52+24+38+7+8=131
Agent Russ Success!

Agent Russ leapt over the monster as it passed underneath him, landing perfectly on its back. Norm below it simply tanked the charge, being made of metal.

Agent A Martial Check:23+30+20=73
Russ Martial Contest:96+24+38+7+8=173
Agent Russ Critical Success!

A moment later Russ twisted on top of the creature, grabbed ahold of the antborg and held it still. A precise blast from Norm's laser cannon blew a hole straight through the device, causing it to slump to the ground. Major Monogram reached down to the head of the antborg and plucked out Agent A, who he placed with a somber mood into a jail-shaped terrarium he had brought for the occasion.

Martial Check: Avoid Lizzie's ant swarms
DC 100 needed: 44+24+38+7=113
Success!

With Monogram climbing onto Russ' cycle, the three were able to rocket through the remaining tunnels faster than the ants could react. They emerged into a vast, empty cavern lit by thin shafts of light filtered from the surface. In the center, Lizzie waits with arms folded. "You don't mess around. Good. I do not wish to be defeated by simpletons." She stands up.

"You've come for me. Not surprising." Lizzie intones in a voice devoid of emotion. "I'm not stupid enough to face a death machine head on, but if you think you'll get my tech out of this, you've got another thing coming." Without changing her expression, she reaches up to her head, removes the helmet she's wearing, and unceremoniously chucks it into a pit.

"Well, let's go. At least you captured that idiot Stanley too." she comments neutrally as a PMC trooper places her in handcuffs and starts to lead her out of the tunnels.

Russ looked around the room to see if there was any tech he could salvage, perhaps to get an idea of how Lizzie pulled all of this off?

Learning Check: Salvage Lizzie's equipment
DC 100 needed: 37+15+9+7=68
Failure!

Unfortunately he was unable to find anything, and after confirming that the tunnels were devoid of hostiles, he proceeded to walk out with Monogram and Norm.
---
You have captured Lizzie and Stanley, the lesser villains who dared to impunge on your domain! You sigh with relief as it seems like the madness and danger of the past few days has finally come to a close. High-level crime lays shattered and scattered below you, and should be easy to deal with now as long as you do it before anyone else has a chance to move in. Now that the terrible two are in your control, the only question that remains is: what will you do with them?

[ ] Keep them in Doofania Jail
You don't really expect much out of these two, honestly. Normal jail should be just fine to handle them. This may give you the chance to communicate with them later, though they might not be too happy that you locked them up.

[ ] Transfer them to Riker's Island
Riker's Island in New York is far better equipped to contain criminal capes, or 'metahumans' as they prefer to say, than you are. With St. Canard no longer in service, it's the main supervillainous incarceration site in the US. Since these two punks are gadgeteers too weak to escape on their own and too gimmicky and small-time for anyone to really want to help free them, you should probably never see them again.

[ ] Banish them to the Wasteland
You've always wanted to banish someone! If you're not up for having them stay in your jail or get transferred, you can just ship them to the edge of the Wastes and tell them never to come back on pain of pain. Along with a supply of rations and some PPE of course. You're evil, not a sadist.
---
Quest: Luck be a Lady completed!

Shego has been surprised by how competent you've been on the heist, and as such her opinion of you has increased! DC for reaching out to Drakktech has been reduced!

Major Monogram is absolutely thrilled to death that he got to take part in a casino heist, especially one that sticks it to someone like Syndrome. His loyalty has increased!

Mirage has revealed that she has previously worked for the Kronos Corporation! ??? trait revealed: Titanomachy: Mirage has insider knowledge, albeit outdated, of Kronos Corp's inner workings. She has +10 to all Diplomacy, Stewardship, or Intrigue rolls against Kronos Corporation. Preference revealed: Dislikes Kronos Corporation! Because your machinations have led to Syndrome's day being utterly ruined, Mirage's loyalty has increased by 25!

TECHNOR, THE MECHANICAL MAN, delighted in being able to cause some evil! He will have a small loyalty boost for the next few turns!

Agent Russ was mildly disappointed that you didn't take Sinatron down, though he honestly can't fault you for running either. He receives a very minor loyalty malus for the next turn or two.

Winston Deavor has been given your contact information! You seem to have made a favorable first impression! He is not available for heroic recruitment, but he may be in the future!

Liv Amara has been given your contact information! She seemed rather intrigued by your work in reviving the dinosaurs. Reaching out to Sycorax has become easier!

Janus Lee has been given your contact information! He seems incredibly excited by the work you've done. DC for buying out Lee Industries reduced!

You've made contact with the lizard lawyer known as Toffee! He didn't seem to have any major opinions on you! You have a business card with his name on it and no further contact information!

You've made contact with David Xanatos before Goofy will be entering a more formal talk with him! The DC to move Castle Doofhawk has been significantly reduced thanks to him sharing some tips!

You impressed almost everyone you met at the gala, displayed a shocking degree of insightfulness, and even managed to defuse a brewing super fight from the backseat. You've packed a lot of diplomatic experience into one evening! Your Diplomacy has increased by 3!

Now that you have proven yourself to be somewhat competent, people might start reconsidering how much of a diseased lunatic you truly are…

Adaptive anti-cape AI research option unlocked! Zero point energy tech research option unlocked! Robo-Doppleganger research options unlocked! Climate controlled environments research option unlocked!

You noticed a potentially new cape operating in your area! This is something of a rarity considering how few of them are around Doofania to begin with. Whoever this 'Devil Girl' is, she doesn't seem hostile to you, and definitely doesn't want to be found. You'll keep an eye out.

One other tech of your choice from scavenging Emperor Stanley obtained!

Palladium Chip obtained! You can use this to upgrade your robots immediately, or you can look into it first!
---
So it's weird to say, but last night went… really well! You somehow managed to work through the entire night without stabbing each other in the back, and divided up the loot fairly. Honestly, you kinda had fun! You hate to say it but... maybe it's time to consider someone else as your new Most Hated Enemy?

Who's that going to be?
[ ] Shego (The title's mostly a formality anyway that doesn't really mean anything- just like the Queen of England or President of the United States!)
[ ] Judge Doom (The creepy man hates blinking, smells like a hospital, and is already undoubtedly planning your downfall.)
[ ] Syndrome (He may have got the tar kicked out of him by that rock golem, but he might still be around kicking somewhere. There's nothing like having a Hated Rival who is also super weak and on the back foot!)
[ ] Write In
---
There will be a one hour moratorium on voting. The November/December results will be coming up next!
 
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November/December 2015 Results
[X] Terraforming (Stanley managed to somehow construct a massive volcano made out of actual rock in the middle of your city in a matter of hours. I mean, it's not like you haven't done the same thing, but imagine if you could do it without it mysteriously exploding the next day! Speaking of, Doofania now has a mountain in the middle of it you've got no idea how to get rid of. So that's… nice?)
[X] Keep them in Doofania Jail
-[x] Prescribe them regular therapy sessions with Technor!
[X] Judge Doom (The creepy man hates blinking, smells like a hospital, and is already undoubtedly planning your downfall.)
-[X] Make Shego your Greatest Rival instead

[ ] Combat organized crime in Doofania
DC ??? (Reduced by XP)
15+13+55+8-30 (??? interference)=61
Miserable (but not critical) Failure
Temujin went out to eliminate all the crime he could find, and was brutally effective in doing so. Unfortunately, he wasn't quite literal enough when considering that crime could've gone underground. Professor Von Drake took special care to ensure he had an adequate understanding of metaphors, slang, figures of speech, especially with so many Toons around, so he took the statement to mean they were lurking in the shadows rather than being literally below the earth. Unfortunately for everyone, that means he overlooked a rather crucial component in the underworld…

[ ] Reach out to Xanatos
DC 40
89+27+15+28+2=161
Critical Success
To be continued in Interlude: How to Make Friends and Write an Interlude Without Really Trying

[ ] Attempt a hostile takeover of Insuricare
DC 75 (Reduced by XP)
45+24+18+1=88
Decent Success
Hego's unique mix of earnestness, business experience, and general naivete served him well when trying to take over Insuricare. He was able to convince a majority of shareholders to replace the management with ones that would agree to being purchased out by DEI, and thanks to Insuricare not being as large or having as much power as a megacorporation, was able to get control of the company in its entirety. CEO Gilbert Huph seemed to take a sadistic glee in informing Hego that the unmitigated disaster that was the Sands Gala would not be covered by their insurance policy, as Syndrome had elected not to include the deluxe 'damages by capes' package in the contract.

[ ] Investigate Echo Creek
DC 55 (Reduced due to ??? and XP)
84+14+12+1=111
Critical Success
To be continued in Interlude: A Little Weird

[ ] Bring Back the Dinosaurs
DC 0
67+18+38+3=126
Success
Vanessa didn't know the first thing about genetics, but that was no problem! The fine folks over at Mendel-Gruman have already done most of the complicated work, all they needed was more money and time, and someone to watch them to make sure they didn't squander it. Your little visigoth pumpkin was able to perform this job perfectly, keeping an eye on the scientists until they successfully revived the first living specimen of dinosaur! Unfortunately when it was brought over to your office, nobody realized that Gary the Goozim had not received his daily third breakfast, so… the dinosaurs went extinct for the second time in sixty-five million years. Fortunately you were able to get a second specimen before going to the gala, and more importantly, MG was already ramping up production back home.

Dinosaurs successfully revived! Dinosaur research options unlocked!

[ ] Research Flubber
DC 65 (Reduced by XP)
67+38=105
Great Success
Flubber is certainly odd, and it's easy to see why people could think that this substance was responsible for the destruction of an entire island chain. In complete violation of thermodynamics it somehow manages to amplify the amount of kinetic energy put into it, though thankfully there is an upper limit, so you don't have to worry about any subluminal pieces of the substance wreaking havoc on the solar system. Obviously this is a potential source of free energy, though it has the very significant downside of terrifying the public on account of it (supposedly) offing an entire state. More impressively, your scientists have figured out that vulcanizing Flubber and applying an electric current to the resulting substance causes it to produce inexplicably stable anti-gravitons, resulting in a (comparatively, considering what it does) cheap and effective way of making effective antigravity. It can be modified to break down easily in the environment and can act as an effective nuclei for rain formation and creation of cloud cover, which means on top of everything else that dispersed Flubber gas has the potential to efficiently modify the weather.

Flubber Power research unlocked! Flubber Antigravity research unlocked! Flubber Weather Modification research unlocked! Slight public opinion decrease!

[ ] Research Greevil Power
DC 65
23+38+14+1=76
Decent Success
LOVEMUFFIN's research into Greevil power solutions was a success! Rodney and his ilk successfully managed to devise a system by which your Evil Algae may be refined into Evil Biofuel and burned for clean power. The unfortunate downside to this is that the overall process was rather inefficient. While it certainly increased your standing in the eyes of the public, there wasn't nearly enough of a change to make up for your power problems. No, for that, you're going to have to think bigger. Flubber power is an option, but also it would probably tank your public image for anyone to realize you are working on it. After receiving the reports on your desk, you thought that it could finally be time to go for the golden goose: fusion power.

Reward: Slight income increase, slight public opinion increase, fusion power research unlocked.

[ ] Study Historical Magic Systems
DC 55
56+0=56
Bare Success
The team of interns you had assigned to sift through historical texts actually managed to scrape something together this time when they weren't busy playing DD&MD. They had a devil of a time separating fact from fiction but have finally presented you with a report detailing potentially real magic that made it into the historical record, as well as a comprehensive report of (supposed) legendary beasts.

Reward: Doofenshmirtz will have +2 added to his Occult score once he A. has an Occult Score at all and B. has someone to tell him what in his collection of oddities is and isn't real.

Wile E. Coyote
[X] Personally oversee trying to catch the Road Runner
82+10=92
To be continued in Interlude: Wile E. Peyote

Norm Prime
[X] Try to become a real boy
18
Norm wished on a star real real hard to try and become a real boy. Unfortunately he mistook Venus for a star, so his earnest wishes did absolutely nothing.

Dennis the Duck
[X] Search for Donald
97
Dennis… seems to have come across something. Not Donald's location, but a rumor. According to some online message boards, it appears as though Donald was spotted living somewhere in Peru several months ago, though of course the rumors are out of date. Still, that's a far more solid lead than anyone else has found thus far! Dennis is ecstatic! You have no idea what a famous Toon star was doing in the Andes, but you should send some people out there and have a look for yourself!

Dennis gains +20 loyalty due to finding a lead on Donald with your help! (decays by -1 a turn)
Quest Unlocked: Birds of a Feather!
 
Interlude: A Little Weird
You are Maximillian Goof, though you prefer Max, son of once-famous cartoon star Goofy. And you do not like Echo Creek very much.

It had seemed like a pretty unremarkable place to start with. It was the same as the dozens of other LA suburbs, whitewashed buildings, tile roofs… take away the palm trees, the al fresco dining, and the total lack of public transportation, and you could be almost anywhere in the country. You didn't have much of an opinion on it.

That lasted up until you noticed the possums.

There were possums in the trash, possums on the tourist maps, and a giant possum statue sitting in front of the public high school. The town had an elaborate origin story centered around possums, and seemed to both hate and revere the creatures in equal measure.

Between the town's stunning normality and the constant flashbacks to Possum Park, you were not making much progress on your mission. Not that it had been easy to start with. While your dad was off meeting with a fancy CEO and The Doof was busy robbing the biggest social event of the year blind in a heist he still thought you hadn't noticed, you were out on the edge of LA looking around for 'Eh, I dunno, weird stuff'.

The local population wasn't being very helpful. There was no record of unusual behavior in the local library, but based on what Doof had said you didn't expect there to be. But any conversation about 'unusual things happening lately' had consisted of either pointless digressions about the new Doc Hoppers' they were building on main street or, much more rarely, a rapid and awkward end to the conversation. That latter thing seemed pretty suspicious, but it's not like you knew how to tail people to their houses, so you didn't really know how to follow up on that.

Sighing after the third fruitless conversation of the morning, you decide to get an early lunch. There's a little mexican place near the city aqueduct that some of the people you've spoken to recommended. You walk up to Britta's Tacos and order a burrito combo meal from the bored teen running the register, silently hoping this isn't going to be another Bueno Nacho. You sit down at one of the small, umbrella-covered tables set around the building. To your surprise, it's actually pretty darn good!

You're about two bites in when a girl unceremoniously flops onto the seat across from you.

"Hey."

You pause mid-chew. The girl now sitting across from you is wearing an olive shirt, turquoise jacket, a beanie, and a concerning grin.

You swallow. "Uh. Hey?"

"Name's Janna." She says after a moment, casually propping her feet up on top of the table.

"I'm… Max." you reply, setting down your burrito.

"Haven't seen you around before. What brings you to Echo Creek?"

"Just… just passing through."

"Really." She replies. You have no idea what's going on. Are you being hit on? You're not very good with girls. That crush you had on Roxanne never really panned out, though at least you parted on decent terms.

"Not staying in town long?"

"Uh… no? Sorry."

"Huh. Well that's weird. You've stayed at the Echo Creek Tipt-Inn for the last three nights in a row."

You narrow your eyes. "How did you know that?"

"Because I took your wallet when you weren't looking." She replies, holding it up. "Oh, Maximilian Goof. You're Goofy's son."

"Yeah, what about it?" You ask defensively.

"Oh, nothin'." She says casually, before continuing to rifle through your personal effects. "Wait, you work for Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated?"

"Give me that!" You yell, grabbing your wallet back from the weird girl. "And yes. My boss is… eccentric."

"I like eccentric."

"I noticed."

"Well, now that we've got introductions out of the way," Janna says, folding her arms behind her head in a very clear signal that whatever just happened she considers herself the victor of it, "What're you doing here?"

You sigh. It's not like you were getting anywhere before. "Look. My boss sent me here to look for… weird stuff." Like you, you think but manage not to say out loud. "That's it. That's all the direction he gave me. Just: 'Hey Max, I think there's weird stuff going on south of LA, I want you to go look into it. It might be cool.' I have no idea what I'm doing."

"Hrmmm." Janna replies, rubbing her chin. "So you wanna see some weird stuff, huh?"

"Uh… yes?"

"Then you're going to have to prove yourself worthy."

"Worthy?"

Janna's eyes glance back and forth around the restaurant's patio. "Come with me."

---

You are Max Goof, and you are currently balancing on one foot on top of a twenty foot pole stuck into the middle of a junkyard surrounded by razor-sharp rusted metal.

You really do not like Echo Creek.

It is now mid-afternoon. Janna has taken you through a series of 'trials', each one in some way annoying, painful, or deeply humiliating. More than once you've had to hold back The Holler as you land on tacks, drop things on your feet, and generally provide your new tormentor with her daily entertainment. After about fifteen minutes the devil girl finally allows you to climb down from the pole. You don't know how much more of this you can take.

"Ok, so next we're going to the Echo Creek Zoo. They just got a new lion exhibit on loan from-"

"THAT IS IT!!!" you scream. You hear the sound of a whistling tea kettle and cannot bring yourself to make it stop. "Enough! That's it. I'm done."

"You're just giving up?" She asks innocently.

"Yes! Yes I am." You say, leaning in and raising a finger to her face. "You've been putting me through your… your sadist party for four hours now, and I am completely convinced you know absolutely nothing except how to make my day miserable!"

She looks at you for a moment.

"Alright congratulations, you passed."

"What."

"Yeah. You passed. I figured if you actually were 'evil', then after I tortured you for a few hours you'd eventually break and try to kill me. Or, if you were dedicated, just keep the slapstick routine up until nightfall. Since you finally snapped but didn't kill me, I'm pretty sure you're on the level. We can hang out now."

"I- d- you-" You struggle to form coherent thoughts. "Do you treat everyone you meet like this?!?!"

"Only the ones I like." She grins lazily. "Anyway, I can tell you all sorts of cool spooky stuff now. Oh, you should introduce me to your boss! Anyone who refers to themselves as 'evil' must be a fun time."

"You just said you were testing to make sure I wasn't evil!!!"

Janna gives you a look. "If they're the sort of guy that puts the word 'evil' on their stationary and means it, I've got nothing to worry about. And if they don't mean it, we'll basically be kindred spirits.

You cast about for an excuse. "He lives halfway across the country. Are you just going to drop your life to go meet some random scientist?"

"Eh, I'm in senior year. I already play hookie more than I show up, and it's not like there's any interesting classes left to take anyway."

You run a hand down your face. This has been a very weird day.

And you're pretty sure the days are going to keep getting weirder.
---
Critical Success! Janna Ordonia has been recruited as a hero unit!
 
Interlude: How to Make Friends and Write an Interlude Without Really Trying
Goofy waved goodbye to Dr. D just as he got on a plane to Las Vegas. Normally the friendly and law-abiding Toon wouldn't even think about something like robbing a casino, but for this job he had no objections. Syndrome wasn't a nice guy at all, and the things he planned on doing if he ever got the Omnidroids upgrading were even worse. No, Goofy was quite fine with his employer going to rob the Sands Casino. He may have called himself 'Evil' on paper, but honestly, he was a pretty nice guy. He had given Maxie a job, done a lot of stuff for Toons, and even set them up with a three-week paid vacation in the tropics every year!

Goofy was quite happy with the choice he'd made after he and Max had to… drop out of college. Right around the time the economy crashed practically overnight, that dust bowl cropped up in the midwest, a new wave of crime crashed over the east and west coasts… it seemed like the perfect time to move to Doofania. Dr. D had been really understanding and given him a job as his number one janitor and top problem solver, and nowhere was that second part of his job description more obvious than today.

Billionaire David Xanatos might not've declared himself supreme ruler like Dr. D had, but even Goofy could tell that he exerted a considerable amount of influence on the city. Those gargoyle drones he donated to the police, that effort he made in cracking down on crime (crime in Doofania just never seemed to want to go away), all of that pointed to someone who deeply cared about his public appearances, and Goofy was the one responsible for talking with him and convincing him to come to the table with DEI.

...of course, that all had to wait until the gala was over. Dr. D said that Xanatos' ticket should last for a couple days at least, which meant he had plenty of time to see the sights of the Big Apple just like he always wanted! It was a little disappointing that Maxie wasn't here with him, but he was probably off having fun in Possum Creek or wherever he was sent on his internship.

---

Seven hours later, Goofy collapsed onto the subway train, his arms loaded down with bags filled with merchandise. There had been so many things to see he just couldn't resist grabbing a few souvenirs! The little snowglobes with the Statue of Liberty and Empire State Building, the tea set from Chinatown, the autographed picture of the new and improved Ultra Pack… okay maybe it was a bit much. Nonetheless, Goofy couldn't help but be himself, and wave happily to the person next to him, a man in a massive trenchcoat. The man ignored him.

Goofy yawned; he'd spent more time on the town than he thought, and if all went well then he was scheduled to meet with Mr. Xanatos today. Apparently Xanatos really had worked hard on cleaning up the subways; the car was clean, quiet and comfortable. There were still a few stops until 57 south 7th street. Maybe a few winks were in order. He closed his eyes, just for a minute.
---
Thirty-two of them later, and shortly after a call of 'last stop, 96th!", Goofy was jolted awake by an unusually rough bump.

"What'da miss?!" Goofy asked, blinking awake at the shock as a commemorative snowglobe rolled across the floor. A bleary-eyed moment later, Goofy turned his head as the door to the Conductor's compartment scraped open. The conductor was a dull, generic-looking man in his mid-50s, wearing a blue cap to disguise what looked like a pretty nasty combover. He looked around the car, eyes passing over each of four or five people still inside before pausing on Goofy.

"Hmmm." He said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully. "Oh well. Good enough for me!"

The conductor stepped out of his legs.

The now unnecessary appendages sat unattended in the chair as the conductor, now with a much smaller pair that left him apparently only a few feet tall, leapt up onto the console. Removing his cap, his ears sprang back into pointed ends and his skin turned purple. He pulled a lever on the console that seemed perfectly sized for his diminutive form, and the car started moving again.

All around him, the other people in the car seemed to let out breaths Goofy hadn't realized they were holding. An old woman sitting in the handicapped seat pulled out a black pointed hat. The bearded guy in the back who Goofy had taken for a hipster revealed himself to in fact be three gnomes stacked on top each other. Though given the fact they were all carrying vinyl records, they were probably still hipsters.

The massive man sitting next to Goofy pulled off his trenchcoat to reveal a massive, purple-furred monstrosity with only one eye.

"Hey there!" The apparent cyclops said jovially. "Sorry I didn't greet ya back earlier, had to keep the disguise on, you know how it is. Name's Stan Lipkowski, nice to meet ya!"

Goofy looked at Stan's massive outstretched paw for a moment before instinct kicked in. "Gawrsh. Nice ta meet ya too!"

"I've never seen ya around here before pal? What are ya, if ya don't mind me askin'? Some kinda domesticated wolfman?"

"I'm Goofy!"

"I'll say!" Stan laughed, slapping his knee.

Goofy looked at him, puzzled. There were a few seconds of awkward silence.

"So, eh…"

The conversation was mercifully saved when the subway car, rather than ramming into the end of the track, instead vanished into a swirling portal and re-emerged in what was definitely not New York anymore.

Goofy looked out over a vast, sprawling network of buildings and stalls. Outside of the small subway station, the pocket dimension seemed to stretch on for miles in a riot of architectural styles, most of them either an asian fusion or what seemed like medieval stonework. The sky changed color every time Goofy looked at it, and in fact several streets appeared to take right turns upward and disappear into it. Shops and street hawkers advertised 'Wool of Bat 25% off' and 'Fillet of fenny snake, two for the price of one'. What looked to be a skull-faced ghoul was selling the latest model of flying broomstick.

"Gawrsh." said Goofy as he took the scene in.

"First time coming ta the Magus Bazaar, huh?" Stan said, chuckling. "Yeah, it has that effect on people. Say, I got some free time. Want me to show you around?"

Goofy prevaricated. He had a meeting with Mr. Xanatos real soon but…

Goofy's eye caught sight of a small model of the statue of liberty that seemed to be absolutely shredding a miniature electric guitar.

"How much is it?" Goofy asked the young girl running the shop.

"Only your immortal soul, muahahahahahahaha!"

The girl laughed as Goofy leaped backwards. "Ha, I'm kidding dude. We take Visa or Mastercard."

---

David Xanatos watched the security monitors in his dining room as Dr. Doofenshmirtz's designated diplomat, one of the most famous Toons in the world, and Head Janitor of DEI got into the elevator and started the very long ascent to the top. Seeing the various bits of paraphernalia Goofy was carrying allowed him to formulate a conclusion to his previous hypothesis. Danville's resident 'pharmacist' definitely knew of the existence of the supernatural, he was more informed than Xanatos thought, and he was very clearly broadcasting to Xanatos that he knew. The existence of the Magus Bazaar was a fairly well-kept secret among the magical community, and to see Goofy walk into his building arms quite literally piled high with magical Tchotchkes suggested that he was flaunting his knowledge. He kept open the theoretical explanations that allowed for Goofy, as a Toon, simply stumbling onto the place. That was within the realm of the plausible. Coupled with the incident at the Gala however, this was starting to feel like an active message.

"Owen? Pencil me in for the next auction at the Magus Bazaar and be sure to send Dr. Doofenshmirtz an invitation as well."

"Of course, Mr. Xanatos. You have considered the possibility that this is all one massive coincidence, I hope?"

"Naturally. I'm well aware of the odd accidents that happen to occur around Toons, particularly one as well-known as Goofy. I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't know about it before this morning. But coupled with what we spoke about at the Gala, Doofenshmirtz is either sending a message or has gotten very lucky. And if it is luck, then it would be best to manage how he enters the magical community." Xanatos allowed himself to relax back in his chair as he looked over the dinner set out for them. It was a bit informal, but that reduced the chance of dinnertime antics from his famously clumsy guest. It was also likely to set him at ease, since from all evidence Goofy was used to humbler surroundings.

David had been wanting to reach out to the odd man for several months now, ever since he put a hamper on the famine problems plaguing middle America… by creating a company subsidiary with the word 'evil' literally in its name. His continual flaunting of the government's authority and the ever-thinning masquerade was somewhat annoying, though thankfully the propaganda campaigns the government had spun were working wonders. It astonished Xanatos at times to see how skilled the federals were at hiding that problems existed instead of solving them. Instead of thinking of the man as a secessionist who ruled over his own personal kingdom, the public was told that he was merely an eccentric, wealthy CEO who liked to be very involved in day to day affairs, like giving people donations of free food. It certainly wasn't fooling everyone, but it fooled enough, mainly those who had no critical thinking skills or a vested interest in the world staying the way it was.

His presence at the Sands Gala was not unusual, knowing the man's usual reaction to slights like being one of the few prominent CEOs denied a ticket, but his choice to take Shego along as his date for the evening was. All of the man's posts online had railed about her as his 'most hated enemy'- presumably an attempt at misdirection months in the making. Even without any proof, there was no doubt that Shego had staged the attack on the gala, utilizing the unique services of one 'Gwen Grayson' to subvert Syndrome's new prototype. That much was quite obvious and to a degree even prepared for, though the sheer vehemence of the android's reaction was slightly more than he had expected. A lot of plans had needed to be reworked following that misadventure.

The robot, which the public had taken to calling 'Sinatron', had apparently realized it lacked the resources needed to truly compete on the national stage, as no formal calls for secession had come from the city since. It was, in fact, still standing and functioning much as it had every day for the past eighty years or so. The only significant change was that the Sands Casino was locked up tighter than most vaults on the Strip and the Omnidroid security around the city was no longer functioning. Xanatos knew this not through his extensive connection of ears to the ground, but because he had spent the next day or so in the city himself. His schedule had been free for days of prospective business deals with other influential movers and shakers, which left him rather free after the city turned into a warzone. He had enjoyed it. Some might brag about seventy hour work weeks, but David knew the consequences of burnout.

The $235,000 and complimentary night in the high roller suite he had won from the casino hadn't hurt matters either.

He swiveled his desk chair around to meet Goofy, timing the gesture perfectly just as the Toon crossed the threshold to his office. "A pleasure to meet you at last, Mr. Goof." he said, extending his hand.

Goofy vigorously returned the handshake. "Aw, shucks. Just call me Goofy! Everyone does."

"Of course, Goofy." Setting people at ease was the first step to make reading them all the easier. "I was a huge fan of your work in Ye Olden Days, I must have watched that short a dozen times." That much was true, actually. Xanatos didn't consider himself to be a huge fan of cartoons but he certainly didn't mind them, and if there was one Toon that wore his inner machinations openly throughout his filmography, it was Goofy.

"That one was real fun ta make! It's… kinda a shame they don't do 'em like they used to, y'know?"

"Indeed it is, but I hear your boss is trying his best to do something about that?"

"Yup, that's right! Dr. D is provin' ta be a friend for Toons everywhere!"

"Yes, why don't we talk about Dr. Doofenshmirtz a little more? Would you care to join me for dinner?"

A bit weak as introductions go, but it would be useful to gauge Goofy's response. A trained negotiator would pick up on the rather blatant lead, while both a master and a genuine novice would appear to fall for it immediately.

"Dinner sounds wonderful! I've been shoppin' around all day and only had a giant roc leg to show for it."

"Right this way, please." Xanatos led Goofy through the halls of the Eyrie Building over to the dining hall, a stone room richly lit by sconces and candles burning in the chandelier. The windows offered a stunning view of the city below through the gaps between the clouds. The sun was just beginning to set and a storm was rolling in from the east in what would surely make for an atmospheric evening.

The kitchen had been asked to prepare coq au vin for the night, partly as a private joke by Xanatos for his sponsorship of the wildly popular Chef Skinner bistros, and partly as yet another test. Many of the uninitiated would assume the dish to be pretentious, but it was in fact a rustic peasant's dish. Calling attention to the meal in either regard would reflect upon his dining partner in certain ways.

Goofy, of course, did not seem to pick up any of these nuances, declaring it to be delicious.

Over the course of the meal, Xanatos assembled a very clear picture of the type of man… or Toon, he supposed… that Goofy was, using that knowledge to place together the scraps of the puzzle that all served to form the main question of the evening: who was Heinz Doofenshmirtz? Was he a genius who played the fool, or a fool who got exceptionally lucky?

All evidence pointed to a combination of the two. The man was not Machiavellian enough to be orchestrating all the details, and yet he displayed a certain air of competence that could not come from luck alone. Clearly, the man knew more than he let on- it was entirely possible that Doofenshmirtz's true personality was exactly as he portrayed, eccentric to a fault and incredibly petty at times, but still in possession of a brilliant scientific mind and underlings who were competent and loyal.

All in all, it would be a good move to be on better terms with the man… especially given what was waiting over the horizon.
---
Critical Success! Goofy has discovered a hidden magical community within the streets of New York City known as the Magus Bazaar! His meeting with Xanatos went very well! Xanatos is interested in collaborating with you in the future!
 
Interlude: Wile E. Peyote
Coyote looked out over the dismal landscape that was a nonspecific desert in the American southwest for what felt like the thousandth time. He had lost track of how many attempts he had made at catching his eternal quarry, only to be thwarted by his own hubris, ACME products, or the worst enemy of all… gravity.

The Toon shot a dirty look down at the earth and mentally cursed Isaac Newton for inventing the blasted concept. Nonetheless, he was sure that tonight would be the night! The past sixty-odd years of humiliating failure wouldn't be for nothing! All things considered, his new employer was probably among the best he'd ever had. The old days of working for the cartoon studios were fine, of course, but after the cartoons hit a dry spell he had been forced to look for work elsewhere, eventually leading him to falling in with 'Mr. Chairman', formerly of ACME. The less said about that the better.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz was a good boss, though. He provided his employees with benefits, plenty of time off, and he even offered some Normbots to help out with his lifelong goal! Naturally Coyote had declined the offer, promising that if he was to catch the roadrunner it would be on his own terms. That's why he was out here, with nothing more than his wits, a container of birdseed, and a pair of binoculars. He was very tempted to leave that last item out, they had a nasty way of letting people sneak up on you. He knew how it was, you look through the binoculars, find the bird you're looking for, and all of a sudden they're right in front of your face instead of three hundred feet away, they scream 'MEEP MEEP', and you plummet three hundred feet off of a cliff.

He shuddered at that memory.

Perhaps it had been a… not a mistake, because that would be implying he was wrong, but a miscalculation to ask the bus driver to just drop him off 'wherever'. Passing up on the supply of rations was a bad idea too, as it was now the eighth day of his hunt and Coyote was starting to feel like any other individual left alone in a desert for eight days would. Perhaps he had been wrong. Perhaps he would never find the Roadrunner at a-

"MEEP MEEP!"

Confound it! Coyote had time to think just before instinct took over and he lept, head smashing into the rock above. He landed a moment later, only for the stones to collapse back upon him.

It was a more promising start than usual.

Pushing the exhaustion and thirst to the side, Coyote brushed himself off and took off at a full sprint, his eyes focused on the infernal bird in front of him with manic intensity! The bird would not escape him! It would not flee! It would not-

Coyote's thought processes were interrupted yet again as the Roadrunner seemed to quadruple his speed, accelerating so quickly that it carved literal flames into the surface of the road. Flames which Coyote was now walking on.

---

Several hours and an improvised burn treatment later, a very irate Coyote was trying to find the best spot to set up an ambush. It had to be far away from any nearby cliffs from which convenient boulders could be dropped, a long distance from any gorges, which he could fall into, and under no circumstances could it be next to a canyon wall into which he would painfully and inevitably smash.

He poured a small pile of birdseed on the road and rubbed his hands together deviously. Now all he had to do was wait.

…waiting was boring. There was no cell reception this far into the desert, and his phone ran out of charge four days ago.

He glanced around. Sand, dirt, gravel, more sand, a couple boulders, a patch of cacti… Were those prickly pears? Oh, marvelous! He could already picture it now: later tonight, he'd be celebrating his victory over roasted roadrunner with a prickly pear vinaigrette! Coyote walked a few steps over to the cacti and speared one of the fruits with an extended claw.

Hmm. Maybe he should've taken that Junior Woodchuck guide that the bossman's weird rival offered him. Then he'd at least have a way of identifying what the heck this was.

Oh well. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. He'd eaten far more suspect things than a cactus before. At least one bite of this wouldn't send him into earthquake-inducing spasms for the better part of a week.

After a very careful check to ensure that the fruit didn't have any painful spines that would catch in his throat, he took a bite of cactus. That was… underwhelming. And horribly bitter.

Okay, that was a mistake.

Frowning with discontent (and spitting a few times to get the offensive taste out of his mouth) he reasserted his position behind a rock, keeping a very close eye on the road.

This was it, he was sure of it. This time, this time, he would do it. He would! He would catch that pink elephant racing down the road and…

Wait.

What?

Coyote had just enough time to blink twice before the rampaging translucent beast, followed by twenty more, trampled him into the ground. He coughed, holding up a sign… that was blank.

Coyote turned around, revealing that the other side of the sign said 'Ow'.

Coyote scratched his head. He couldn't find the camera. He always knew where the camera was. This was very strange.

"Oh, it will get much stranger before it's over, Candace."

Coyote literally leapt out of his skin before falling back down to earth at the talking zebra that was casually sipping from a teacup.

W-who are you? The next sign said.

"Oh, I don't exist."

You don't?

"No no, I'm just a hallucination."

I'm hallucinating?

"Couldn't you tell from the giant floating baby heads?"

Coyote looked around to see that the entire desert, as far as the eye could see, was filled completely with massive, rotating baby heads. One of them was shooting lasers out of its eyes.

Huh.

"By the way, I'd try to hold on to something. It's about to get much worse."

Coyote gulped. He tried in vain to get a grip on the ground, the sandy soil flowing through his fingers.

"Oh, and one last thing. I was told to deliver a message to your friends over there."

Coyote looked around frantically, for once unable to perceive the audience.

"I was told to say, *ahem*, 'Sooner or later, the Dream Queen will come for one of your allies because of the greatest secret he ever kept. You will need to have learned the rest of them before then, or you will lose him forever.'"

Coyote blinked uncomprehendingly.

"That's all. Enjoy your bad trip. Toodle-oo!"

The world melted.

Coyote pushed himself to his feet only to see that his hands were staying behind. He waved an arm. It rippled in the wind, bending unnaturally with every motion he made. His arms swam and bent around him, wrapping him up before tearing him apart. He blinked as they were joined by four more, each of which formed a series of complex mudras before they in turn each tugged one of his limbs in opposing directions until he split in four. Each of him looked at the others before beginning a vast, circular chase around the rim of the canyon, fading into eternity. Each one slowly toppled down, falling into a void that resolved into the starry sky.

Coyote impacted the ground, splashing against it before resolving. Existence revolved around his head. The roadrunner saw him. Eternity chased the Roadrunner and infinity was hit by falling boulders. He watched as before him the road stretched forever on. Then he painted a new path. The line led into a stone wall, and yet he passed through without harm.

The tunnel ended in light. It enveloped him in blinding radiance. Coyote swam through the void. A dozen voices sang meaningless enlightenment into his ears. The wheel of universes spun clockwise around him. He saw the Roadrunner.

The Roadrunner was vast, it contained multitudes. It shined with neon light. Coyote felt at peace as he fell into its gullet. He smelled victory. Infinity beckoned. The circle closed, but there was still time. Coyote felt himself falling, falling, falling, towards that inevitable, eternal, familiar canyon floor.

---

Coyote opened his eyes.

He was lying on his back in the middle of the desert, looking up at the starry night sky. His hands were wrapped around the Roadrunner's neck, and he…

His hands were wrapped around the Roadrunner's neck.

The bird was still struggling, but it couldn't break free. Coyote stared madly, expecting this impossible hallucination to fade with all the others.

Seconds passed. Seconds became minutes. The viability of this being yet another gag was dropping with each dragging moment.

The Roadrunner stuck out his tongue. Still, the bird failed to escape.

A wild grin split Coyote's face as he opened his mouth in triumph, preparing to devour his prey. As he stared at the bird, the animal he had chased for over six decades, the one who had subjected him to countless, humiliating failures and defeats, his face fell.

He blinked.

"What have I been doing with my life?" Coyote asked.

He released his grip.

"MEEP MEEP!"
---
Coyote has achieved self-actualization! His stats have improved across the board!
 
November/December 2015 Rival Reports
Xanatos Enterprises
[ ] Stabilize the US Government
DC 110
77+38+20+7=142
Great Success

Xanatos made the news recently publicly praising the policing efforts in New York City, which have caused crime to plummet to new lows even as the rest of the country reels from the St. Canard breakout. He's also made considerable donations to police departments across the country 'to help export our successful model elsewhere'. Less publicly, but still discoverable through the grapevine, he's also begun a large-scale stabilization plan to make sure nobody rocks the boat any further after the St. Canard breakout. On top of all that, Goofy told you that local media in the northeast seems to be downplaying the events of the Sands gala, so it seems like the man is operating on all cylinders to make sure the results of your little escapade doesn't become a problem for him. You're not sure if you should be proud or concerned.

[ ] Donate to Richard Martinez's campaign
DC 50
23+38+20+7=88
Great Success

With President Richmond's term being up next year, Xanatos Enterprises has chosen to throw its considerable weight behind upcoming candidate Richard Martinez. Richard is known as a politically moderate candidate with a lifelong political career, considerable diplomatic skill, and no particular black marks on his record. If elected he would be the first person of Hispanic ancestry to sit in the Oval Office.

Kronos Corporation
[ ] Undergo internal power struggle
DC 0
74

Bereft of its leader, the Kronos Corporation has devolved into a nasty internal power struggle, as the Board of Directors and other influential figures fight amongst themselves rather than respond to the loss of their leader. It's unclear at the moment if or when they stabilize. It could be a month from now, it could be… never.

[ ] Establish a Smokescreen
DC 100
33+30+15+30(???)=108
Bare Success

Just a few days after the Sands disaster (or, from your perspective, triumph), Kronos reassured the public that everything was fine and Syndrome was unharmed by… revealing Syndrome himself?!?! Sure, the guy seemed even more vapid than usual, twitching a lot and lacking a certain degree of smarm, but there he was in the flesh! Not even with any broken bones or anything! Did he have some sort of healinator? What was going on here?

Doofenshmirtz Learning Roll (recognize the Syndroid)
DC 90
82+38+20 (acquired all Robo-Doppleganger tech)=140
Success!

Wait a second. Syndrome just revealed near-perfect robot AI impersonators. Of course he'd have one of himself lying around! Kronos must be using it to keep anyone from realizing the company is rudderless. Seems like this one might be a prototype or rush job, seeing as it's twitching a lot and not a perfect replica. You're not 100% sure on this, but it seems the most likely explanation by far. Here's to hoping it turns renegade too, though you're not holding your breath.

Sinatron
[ ]Fortify the Sands
DC 80
87+23+18+20=148
Spectacular Success

News reports coming in out of Vegas say that the city's not only still standing, it hasn't even shut down its day to day operations. The Sands Casino, already designed to be nearly impregnable, has undergone a few modifications to make direct assault a much riskier venture, but so far… no formal declarations of war or secession have been made. With 'Syndrome' being alive and well, the government has decided to declare Sinatron a powerful yet eccentric cape, something that fits within the current shape of the Masquerade easily and which they have ample experience in dealing with.

Zootopia State
[ ] Expand Zootopian Settlements
DC 85
73+34+18=125

Zootopia has a large number of outlying suburbs and settlements where animals who don't prefer the city life can make their home in quieter surroundings. Recently, Bellwether has taken the opportunity to expand those settlements in the Pacific Northwest into areas dominated by the Kronos Corporation. Normally Syndrome would at least demand a share of the spoils for this growth, but with the man rather indisposed at the moment the Zootopia Planning Board has been given free reign. Several new towns have sprung up in otherwise undeveloped areas, most with kitschy names like 'Aardvark Acres' or 'Elephant Estates'.

Yama
[ ] Expand Influence to Reno
DC 85
79+27+23=129
Great Success

The oyabun of the Yakuza based out of San Fransokyo took advantage of the chaos to expand his sphere of influence to include the city of Reno. The chaos in the city from riots and the aftermath of the Sands Gala allowed him to easily insert lieutenants into positions of power, bully the local mob bosses into subservience, and stabilize the criminal element there.

Tomokiri
[ ] Produce ??? for ???
DC 80
93+34+30 (???)=157
Spectacular Success

Rumors are filtering down the grapevine that tech-based cape Tomokiri has been producing something for certain noteworthy individuals. The specifics of what, exactly, is being produced are unclear, though based on the reactions it is kept somewhat secret and is in high demand.

Drakktech
[ ] Capitalize on Kronos Corp Weakness
DC 100
42+22+34+10+7=115
Decent Success

Shego has taken advantage of the recent turmoil in Kronos-controlled territory to poach any underappreciated scientists, administrators, or other useful figures in the area, while also presiding over an increase in Super activity across Kronos regions, likely as a smokescreen for more clandestine acquisitions.

???
[ ] Build lots of robots for ???
DC 90
63+37+27+10+4=141
Spectacular Success
There seems to be someone new in town in Middleton, and the name of the game is robots. Lots and lots of robots. From the sound of things they're not even up to par with an Iron Gargoyle, never mind one of your Normbots or an Omnidroid, but what they lack in efficiency they make up for in sheer numbers. These things have been pouring out of all sorts of abandoned buildings and according to preliminary reports are assisting with the distribution of nootropic substances.

???
[ ] Expand operations out of Middleton
DC 100
57+29+18+8+4=116
Decent Success
Reports coming out of Middleton indicate that the drug ring has expanded its area of influence to include cities such Aurora, Colorado Springs, Pueblo, Fort Collins, and more. Brutal-looking armored drones and a highly decentralized chain of command make it possible for the group, which includes several capes to their name at this point, to avoid public scrutiny and distribute their illicit substances far and wide. Some unconfirmed stories even suggest that in addition to nootropic substances there have been drugs distributed that can give the users temporary superpowers.

ENCOM
[ ] Release a mandatory update
DC 15
52

ENCOM's updates continue to roll out with normal frequency. While this has stabilized their userbase somewhat, there is some concern that the damage has already been done. ENCOM continues to lose market share to DoofOS, though not at the same torrential speed as previously seen.

Alonso Hawk
[ ] Investigate ???
DC ???
61+20+26=107
Unprecedented Failure
Doom's spymaster has attempted to investigate the unknown individual responsible for assuming control of the Los Angeles underworld. His attempts were… less than successful. Three days after he started an investigation, a package arrived under his front door, the contents of which made him shriek, glance hurriedly around the gated neighborhood in which he lives, and then hurry inside with the container. Investigation into the shadow world of LA slowed soon after.

???
[ ] Acquire Omnidroids
DC 60
84+20=104
Great Success

There's always been a demand for after-market Omnidroids. The things do get sold, and inevitably that means they get re-sold. Apparently they've made a splash on the Bot Fighting scene in 'Sokyo. But the mass deactivation of Omnidroids across the entire city of Vegas on the night of the gala had led to an enormous surge in supply. Hundreds if not thousands of Omnidroids of every size and model have gone missing, some of them captured by rival companies hoping to reverse engineer them, others by criminal gangs even now reprogramming them for turf wars, but the majority have simply vanished without a trace.

The 'Resistance'
[ ] Vandalize some Normbots
DC 30
13+11+9+1=34
Bare Success

The 'Resistance' has continued its campaign against you, having vandalized a grand total of thirty-nine Normbots by spraypainting them with phrases such as 'DOOF SUX' and 'DOWN WITH THE MAN'. Overall the damage to your policing force is minimal, especially compared to the supervillains currently using your front garden for a turf war, but the group has proven themselves to be somewhat… disruptive. CCTV footage has caught some video of the perpetrators; while you don't have a positive ID on them, you seem to have been right about the 'punk kids' thing. At some point you should send someone to give them a talking to.

???
[ ] Control organized crime in Carson City
DC 70
100+43+36+16=195
Critical Success

A new criminal element has taken astonishingly thorough control of any crime consolidated in or around Carson City, brutally crushing any opposition and establishing themselves as the undisputed master of the area. Kronos Corp was universally unable to respond, and Federal attempts at quelling the overwhelming takeover proved fruitless.

Aldrin Klordane
[ ] Control organized crime in Boise
DC 75
63+24+14=101
Great Success

Criminal elements in Boise have consolidated under the banner of one Aldrin Klordane, a crime boss of relatively little acclaim until very recently. Klordane utilized the chaos from the Sands Gala and internal Kronos strife to make a power play and gain control over the underworld in Boise and surrounding areas.

???
[ ] Control organized crime in Spokane
DC 80
56+40+22+5=123
Spectacular Success

Organized crime in Spokane seems to have disappeared overnight, only to crop up several days later with a vengeance. The prevailing theory is that an exceptionally efficient and brutal operator has seized control, though nobody is aware of who this mysterious individual could be.

???
[ ] Control organized crime in Richland
DC 80
81+27+13+6=127
Spectacular Success

An unknown individual seems to have taken control of organized crime in Richland and the surrounding area. Any further details on the topic are incredibly sparse.

President George Richmond
[ ] Assert Control in Kronos Territory
DC 100
25+32+26+20(???)=103
Bare Success

With Kronos security either leaderless or overwhelmed by clandestine assaults on all sides, the US government has presided over a federal crackdown on crime across the Rockies. While they were unable to stamp out the more organized or superpowered elements, law and order has been maintained primarily through improved coordination and anti-corruption measures with police forces used to taking marching orders from a now-silent Kronos. While Kronos still exercises undue control over the area, Federal control in the Rocky Mountains is now higher than anywhere else aside from their stronghold in the Mid-Atlantic.
 
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