A Discourse on the Power of Dance
"If you keep staring at her like that your eyes are going to get stuck like that," Janna teased one of Doof's new hires as he stared at Juniper as she worked, teaching the various members of the staff how to dance.
The dance programs were one of the Boss' weird projects. He'd instituted a program of "mandatory fun" to try and make up for the Drusselstein trip. You had to take a class or work on a hobby, but you did it during the work day and he paid you the same whether you were actually working or not. Not that work was all that common? Janna wasn't even sure what her title was. Well, officially her role in the company was "Janna the Teenage Girl" but that wasn't an actual role right? Janna wasn't completely sure having not actually ever, you know, worked at a company before, but that seemed strange even for DEI.
Well, whatever, if the boss was going to pay her to slack off and take dance lessons, why shouldn't she? Any opportunity to tease new co-workers is one that should be looked into.
"What? Staring? I'm not- Okay, yes, I'm staring, but it's only because her dance moves are absolute perfection! Did you see her squat kicks? Those are not easy to do, and she makes them look flawless!"
Janna looked at the stage. She had to admit that a lot of the new girl's moves looked like they'd be perfect for combat too. There was something special about them, and it definitely wasn't just technical skill either.
"They're magical," Janna realized.
"They definitely are," Wasabi agreed, mistaking Janna's point entirely.
"No, I mean- You know what? Never mind," Janna decided. "If you're so enthralled, why don't you take the class?"
"It doesn't fit my schedule. I signed up for Evil Yoga instead. The times conflict."
"What makes the yoga evil?" Janna asked, temporarily intrigued.
"Well, it's hot yoga, so there's a fair amount of sweat and physical pain involved. maybe that's it? Otherwise I think it's probably just a branding thing; like how the dance classes are 'Evil' dance classes. How would you even start to try to use the power of dance for Evil?"
"I wouldn't be so sure," Janna laughed. "Juniper's a supervillain from San Fransokyo. She used the power of dance to rob banks."
"You're joking, right?" Wasabi asked. "The power of dance can't be bent to evil! She's telling a story through song! She doesn't need to steal! She has real talent!"
"Sure, but maybe she wanted to?" Janna offered.
"I will never understand supervillains," Wasabi declared.
"Aren't you working for one?"
"Dr. Doofenshmirtz is a respectable omni-disciplinary scientist who just happens to enjoy calling himself a supervillain. It's pretty clear that he doesn't really understand what supervillainy means."
"Is this the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. thi-?"
"Of Course it's the L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. thing! Do you think he would have told them to perform mad science if he knew that mad science meant supervillainy!?"
"Yes?" Janna replied. "The boss is a weird dude, but I'm pretty sure he's definitely an actual supervillain, or at least he was one, before responsibility got him."
"No way! Doctor Doofenshmirtz is a scientist at the very top of his field! He's one of the most brilliant scientists in the world! Not the most respected, but the most brilliant! His company runs like a well oiled machine and just because others call it 'complete chaos' or the 'mad ravings of a deranged lunatic' doesn't mean that Dr. Doofenshmirtz doesn't have an amazing and well thought out plan behind everything he does."
"Are you just saying that because he's paying you to take Yoga classes?" Janna asked suspiciously.
"
Of course I'm saying that because he's paying me to take Yoga classes! The man is brilliant! End of story."
"Well, I guess I can't argue with that logic. Good luck in Yoga," Janna waved as she turned to leave. "Personally, I think there may be something to this dance thing. Might have to look into it..."
"Yeah," Wasabi agreed, his attention already enthralled by the perfection being displayed on stage.
