"So, what's this one do?" You asked, pointing at an arcane array of bits and bobs, wires, conduits, steel plates, and a pair of fuzzy dice.
"That's the Probabilitor-Inator, it makes things more or less probable," Doof replied, keeping an eye on you before his eyes glazed over with a far away look.
AWARENESS CHECK PASSED
You recognized the look by now, it wasn't the boss' backstory gaze. Nor was it what he called "Expositional flashback." This was his "How do I make the world better" look. He probably didn't call it that in his head, but you knew that was what it was all the same. After all, it was the same look he had on his face on the roof.
"So, it makes things happen, no matter how unlikely?" You asked, still staring at your Inator. You didn't call him on his inattention, or the quality of his look. He liked to think he was a big bad evil scientist, and you did too, at first. But he wasn't. Everything Doof had done since you got here was aimed at helping people. Even his beef with Judge Doom was only because your boss thought toons were people and the judge (wasn't he mayor though? why was he still calling himself judge?) was murdering Toons.
Doof was definitely a mad scientist. But, you guess it took someone mad to believe in you, to help you.
He thought he was evil, but really, he was the few good people left.
If he wanted to pretend to be a bad guy? You definitely weren't going to ruin his fun.
"What? No!" Doof replied. He was clearly shocked but you had no idea what you'd said to shock him.
"This makes things more or less probable! It doesn't make things more or less probable! The emphasis is important!"
You have to admit to yourself that you have no idea what the difference between those two exactly identical sentences was. Luckily, teh boss wasn't done explaining.
"What this machine does is it concentrates the positive and negative probability ions in the air and intensifies their attraction to others of their own kind! Things that are probable will be more probable, and things that are improbable will be less probable."
So, it made likely things sure bets instead? That was...
Doof wasn't done explaining. "So lets say you wanted to eat a sandwich? It's pretty probable that you could find a sandwich here in Doofania. There are plenty of restaurants, and groceries stores and even *shudder* Vending machines..."
"Did you just say the word Shudder?" You interrupted. He did! You definitely heard it! He said the word shudder instead of actually shuddering! Was he actually afraid of vending machines? Or was he just pretending? You knew the boss cared about you. Hell, he seemed to care about everyone! But even knowing that? He was kind of hard to figure out. For a second, you wondered if it was your fault. That maybe the way your family betrayed you broke you inside. Maybe the reason you couldn't understand your boss was because you weren't a good person, and you never could be?
Your boss' voice interrupted that train of thought before it could take hold with something about... sandwiches? Why was he... Oh! That magical sandwich he bought!
"So you heard about Dennis and 625 eating your magical sandwich then?" you asked.
"They what!?" he shouted, outraged.
Clearly that was not what he was talking about then. But...
SELF CONTROL CHECK FAILED
He was distracted, and the big red button was unguarded. The machine made things that were likely to happen sure bets. You were pretty likely to encounter Marco, but pretty likely wasn't a sure thing...
STEALTH CHECK PASSED
"Dennis was supposed to unravel its arcane mysteries, not eat it!!!" your boss ranted, clearly not aware of your intentions.
You slipped past him as he threw his head back for a stereotypical supervillain rant and pressed the button on the machine. The fuzzy dice began to roll, which was odd, because they were clearly still tied together on the string attached to the machine. Their faces were changing though. were they Magic? The boss clearly knew about magic, but you still had no idea how much. Was he even a mad scientist at all? or was he a crazy magician pretending to be a mad scientist? Was there even really a distinction between the two?
SELF CONTROL CHECK PASSED
Now was not the time to get lost in thought about how weird your boss was. Now was the time to flee the scene!
You dashed out the room at top speed. Hopefully he wouldn't hold this against you? The boss was kind of touch, but you needed the extra luck to make sure you found Marco. He'd understand if you told him that.
COMMUNICATION CHECK FAILED
"Sorry boss! Gotta go find Marco! Have a Sandwich for me!"
Have a sandwich? That was your best attempt at explaining why you pressed the button on the boss' super fancy mad science machine!?
Doofenshmirtz Loyalty Check:
DC = 75 - 75 = 0
Roll: 60
Critical Success!
"CURSE YOU JANNA, THE TEENAGE GIRL!" The boss shouted back hammily. You'd seen the boss angry, he got serious when he was angry. The words sounded mean, but... Petty vengeance for him was all in good fun. He wasn't mad at you at all.
It was a good thing you were already running. There was no way you hide the tears in your eyes otherwise.
Janna's Stress Decreased By One Level. Stress now at "Be More Chill"
Probabilitor-Inator Activated!
All actions next turn are Maximized! Every success is a critical success! Every failure is a critical failure! This applies to all characters in the quest.
