Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Haru entered the room carefully, hurrying to be first so that he could choose the seat closest to the door. Hazō was struggling to hide his fury but every line of his body gave the game away, and had he possessed the psychic power of a jōnin the room would have been flooded with killing intent. Being near a ninja exhibiting that much rage was dangerous but Hazō had demonstrated an unpredictability that made it worse.

"Good morning," Hazō said once everyone was seated. "So. Next step in our 'erase the Hagoromo from existence' plan is to ensure minimal collateral damage. Haru has some lists."

"Drunk on power already, I see," Noburi said, shaking his head sadly. "No one left to keep him from the lists."

Haru braced himself to run but Hazō smiled and the tension eased very slightly. "Hush, minion. Your Clan Head speaks."

Unbelievably, Noburi snorted. "Yeah, that'll happen. Nice try, Mr. Mew."

Haru stared in astonishment as Hazō laughed again and the tension eased off until 'furious' was replaced with 'determined'. Weren't Clan Heads supposed to command instant and total obedience? These people really were insane.

"Haru?" Hazō said. "The lists?"

When in unstable situations, keep your mouth shut. He pulled the stacks of paper from one (one!) of his storage seals and handed them around. Each packet was two sheets folded and wrapped in a scrap of leather to protect it against storage stress.

Noburi, Keiko, and Mari all read through the document carefully. Hazō and Gaku didn't bother—Gaku because he had been the one to copy Haru's scribbled originals and Hazō because he had already read it.

"You gathered all this?" Mari asked.

Haru nodded.

"Not bad. You left out the second-order affiliates but you did get all clan businesses and mark relationships." She clearly saw his confusion because she continued, offering an apologetic wave. "A clan business is one that the Hagaromo own directly, like the paper mill. An affiliate is someone that the Hagoromo buy raw goods from, like this smith." She tapped the bottom of the first page. "A second order affiliate is someone for whom the affiliate is a critical supplier or purchaser. When we take out the smith we're hurting the Hagoromo but we're also hurting anyone else who buys from him, as well as the people who make a lot of their income selling raw steel to him. You can never do just one thing."

Haru carefully controlled his face at the latest example of Mari's criticism.

She raised a placating hand. "Haru, you're not a trained infiltrator. There's no reason for you to have known that second-order affiliates were a thing, much less a thing that you should include. This is good work, especially given how quickly you got it done. Most people wouldn't have thought to mark familial relationships among the civilians listed. That's an important piece of information and I'm impressed you thought of it."

What? She was actually praising him? What was her angle?

"Thank you." When in doubt, say as little as possible.

She smiled, not at all taken in by his attempted stone face. "If you're interested, find me the next time we both have an hour to spare and we could go through some of the basics of infiltration work. Not the sex stuff, don't worry. Things like what to look for when doing an intelligence workup, what to look for when you need to find leverage on someone, that kind of thing. I doubt you have any interest in actually doing infiltration but this"—she hefted the list—"is good work, and the problem with doing good work is that you get given more work in the future." She grinned like an urchin. "Just ask the kids about my congee."

A trio of disgusted glares bounced off her invulernable shield of amusement.

Huh. "I'll do that."

"First goal is to figure out how we cut the Hagoromo off from their income without causing too much collateral damage," Hazō said, tapping a finger sharply on his copy of the list in order to draw attention. "Any suggestions?"

Gaku cleared his throat hesitantly. "M'Lord, I had a few thoughts...?"

"Go."

"Sir, after Lord Haru gave me the list to copy I anticipated the nature of your question and did some initial research. The smith you pointed at is a master named Ōshirō who lives in one of the larger villages just down the road from Leaf. He is in high demand and the Hagoromo source much of their materials from him.

"A smith is dependent on his tools. Doing serious smith work requires multiple anvils, a variety of hammers, tongs, and so on. All of these are typically made of iron or steel. Furthermore, although I didn't understand the details, part of the smithing process involves quenching the hot metal in either oil or water, depending on the desired characteristics of the product being created. If iron is quenched at the wrong time it will become brittle.

"One of the worst things that can happen in a forge is for a barrel of quench oil to be overturned and ignited. Raw steel is often stored in the forge for convenience and after being heated in the fire it will become useless for production, forcing the smith to procure new material before they can do any further work. Worse, their tools will be ruined, forcing them out of business unless they can afford to buy an entirely new set.

"Were a quench-oil fire to break out at the Ōshirō forge some night it would be very unlikely to injure the family but it would put them out of work. Ōshirō is an excellent smith, which is why the Hagoromo buy from him. I have no avenue to investigate his finances, but I strongly suspect that with no tools he would be obligated to find work at someone else's forge. He would have no lack of offers, as any of the other blacksmiths in the area would be delighted to acquire an apprentice with the skills of a master."

Hazō nodded. "Whereas we could give him a grant to get him back on his feet on condition that we are his sole customer going forward. We then resell his work and set up commissions for him as we like and somehow there is never time in Ōshirō's schedule to do work for the Hagoromo. Anyone have a problem with it?"

Haru glanced around; no one else did so he shook his head like the rest. To be honest, it was more merciful than he would have expected. It would have been easier to just murder the man.

"Great. Anything else?"

"I've got one," Mari said. "The Hagoromo have two of the finest musical quartets in Leaf. They're in high demand and represent a minor but meaningful income source. Were something to happen to their instruments it would take months, perhaps years, to replace them. So, I'm thinking..."

Mari laid out her cunning plan. Afterwards, other ideas were exchanged and dissected. Some were strangled in their crib, some were approved. Again, there really was an effort not to hurt civilians. The so-called 'Team Uplift' members were doing their best to stay on the right side of the 'no killing civilians' and 'no doing business without a permit' laws.

"Sounds good, make it happen." Hazō said for the last time. He looked around the table to see if there were other suggestions; there weren't. "So, next item: After the dust settles on these various schemes, can we acquire these businesses on the cheap? Buy them out, perhaps through a proxy, for a fraction of the normal cost, then provide financial support and connections to help them ramp up past what they're currently doing?" He hesitated. "Basically, I don't want to hurt people more than necessary, and I don't want innocents getting caught in the crossfire."

"Both of those things are going to happen," Mari said unflinchingly. "Don't kid yourself. We're going to war and there is always collateral damage. We'll minimize it and have plans to clean up afterwards but things are going to get bad for a lot of people."

Hazō wavered for a moment but then shook his head, his expression firming and turning grim. "We'll do what's necessary but no more. My first thought on the subject was the Yakuza."

Haru blinked. Wasn't the entire point of this meeting to figure out ways to not hurt people?

"The Yakuza make a good cutout for us and they have plenty of infrastructure already in place," Hazō continued. "For example: After we financially destroy the Hagoromo, we might be able to have the Yakuza cheaply buy out their businesses for us by proxy. Obviously, we would provide them capital for this and offer to share profits.

"Next, the Hagoromo will be absolutely frantic for liquidity to cover their expenses. The Yakuza could offer them a massive loan with equally massive interest rates, that they would accept out of desperation. This would put them on the hook forever. I feel like the Yakuza might be thankful to be included in such a business venture, and we could probably split the profits with them here too." His smile was grim. "It would be poetic..."

He paused for a moment, probably contemplating the poetry, and then continued. "As a general rule, I think 'the chivalrous organization' might be generally aligned with some of our Uplift goals, so this might serve as part of a greater overture to them as a business partner. If the Yakuza are squeamish then maybe we could get the Nara in on this to provide some assurances that they won't be harmed over this. Thoughts?"

Glances were exchanged.

"Sounds like a plan," Mari said. "I can talk to them this afternoon. Haru, you want to come with? This would be a good opportunity to get a little of that background knowledge." She locked eyes with him from across the table.

Crap. She knew about his arrangement, about why the bodyguards always waited outside the gates.

"Hey, don't worry," she said, smiling. "You don't have to do anything. Just come, loom, watch, and learn. If you like, we can do some taijutsu practice afterwards. There's a counter to that knee strike that you rely on; you should probably learn it from me, and learn the counter to the counter, before you run into it in the field."

Huh. That sounded like a peace offering.

"Sounds good," he said, nodding gratefully.

"Actually," Hazō said, "I think I'll come along. I'd like to meet with the Oyabun so we can establish a working relationship."

Haru tensed up again.


"Lord Gōketsu, a pleasure," the Oyabun said, bowing deeply as he personally ushered them into his luxurious meeting room. "May I offer tea? Food?"

"That—"

"You're so kind," Mari said, smiling as she settled on her red-and-green cushion in front of the low table. "Please, you must allow us to provide for you in exchange for the kindness you have shown by clearing your schedule."

"Of course," the Oyabun said, bowing deeply as he knelt on his own cushion. He was a tall man who had started with the build of a wrestler but had the muscles go slack and fall away with age. His face was gaunt and pox-scarred and he wore a small cap that was probably covering up a bald crown. The tiny amount of hair that showed was gray as a winter sky.

Mari produced a storage seal and, with a dramatic flourish, she unsealed a teapot and a tray with three steaming-hot cups of tea. She passed one to the Oyabun and offered the tray to Hazō, selecting the remaining one after he chose. Haru got none; for today he was the bodyguard, his job to stay on his feet and loom behind Mari and Hazō. Bodyguards kept their hands free.

The Oyabun had dispensed with his own bodyguard, but he did have a secretary off in the corner of the room, kneeling with brush and paper ready.

The Oyabun inhaled the scent of his tea, eyes falling closed in pleasure, and then sipped perhaps a quarter of it before lowering it to his lap, the delicate bone china cradled in knobby fingers.

"So," he said. "How may the Chivalrous Organization aid the Gōketsu today? Has there been an issue with our guardians?"

Hazō frowned. "No. I would like to thank you for those, by the way. It was good of you to reach out like that."

The Oyabun studied him for a moment, glanced up at Haru, and then bowed. "Of course, My Lord. The Organization is always eager to have positive relations with our protectors. It was the least we could do."

"The Chivalrous Organization is clearly an honorable organization of the Leaf," Hazō said. "We're here to pay the respect you are due; we wish to offer a deal in good faith."

The Oyabun sipped his tea. "You are most kind, My Lord. We would definitely be interested in that. May I inquire of the specifics?"

"It's embarrassing to admit," Hazō said seriously, "but I often have prophetic dreams."

The Oyabun's gray eyebrows rose. "Truly? A rare gift, My Lord."

"One would think. In truth, it's really more of a curse. I rarely see hopeful or happy futures—those need to be made. No, I see disasters and death and sickness, and I don't always see them in time to prevent them."

"Ah. A terrible curse indeed."

"I've had a dream the last three nights. A dream that suggests an evil kami has become angered at one of the Great Clans of Leaf and intends them harm. Unfortunately, I have no further details so I don't know to whom I should offer the warning."

"I see. And therefore you came to me?"

"And therefore I came to you. The dreams do not always come to pass but when they do they can be great and terrible. Whichever clan is struck down, be it the Gōketsu or any other, I would like you to be ready to help them."

"I see. May I ask if you would be so generous as to share your wisdom on precisely what form of assistance my poor collection of civilians might offer? I shall be glad to do what I can."

"I saw fire and ruin, coins plummeting into darkness, jewels being carried off by magpies. I think the kami intends to strike at their wealth."

"Unsurprising. I am given to understand that this a common choice among vengeful kami."

"Too true," Hazō said, shaking his head sadly. "Too true. Regardless, I would like the Chivalrous Organization to be ready to offer a loan to whichever clan needs it."

"It wouldn't need to be anything special," Mari said, waving airily. "The standard terms you use with your other clients are perfectly acceptable. Actually, feel free to add on a point or three extra. You will be doing a patriotic act and we are asking you to commit a very large amount with very little notice. You deserve compensation for that."

"Ah." The Oyabun fell silent. "May I ask exactly how much money you would suggest I have ready?"

"Perhaps...one hundred million ryō?"

"One hundred million."

She shrugged apologetically. "Well, Hazō's dream did suggest it would be a Great Clan. Their expenses tend to be rather high. Now, you would know your business far better than I, but if you would be willing to accept an idea from an ignorant laywoman, perhaps much of the amount could be in the form of store credit with various vendors around town? I know you have relations with many shopkeepers already. Although the Clan in question, whichever it might be, could arrange such things on their own it would be time-consuming. Far better if you are able to provide them an existing infrastructure. That way you would only need to provide some of the money in hard ryō." She shrugged apologetically. "I fear that the Gōketsu scrip should not be used for such a purpose. We would prefer to stay at arm's-length to the entire thing so that the other clan does not feel indebted to us."

"Yes," the Oyabun said slowly. "Yes, I believe we could provide this service. As is our patriotic duty under the Will of Fire."

"There is one last point," Hazō said, his smile still in place but his voice cooling. "We wish to soften the blow to the civilians as much as possible."

"...Excuse me, My Lord?"

"The ninja of the Clan will be able to provide for themselves but a clan's civilian population has far fewer resources to absorb such a reversal of fortune. We wish to ensure that they are cared for."

The Oyabun stared at Hazō for a full two seconds, then bowed deeply. "Truly, your kindness is greater even than what the stories say, My Lord. I shall ensure that none of the civilians of the—of whichever clan might be struck down by this evil kami goes without food, water, or shelter."

"Excellent," Hazō said. "If any of them get sick, direct them to the clinic on the Gōketsu estate. You should, of course, feel free to send your own people there. We don't charge and we have expert medic-nin on staff. Patients are triaged, with most minor ailments being handled by herbwives and physikers, but the medics will see to any major issues."

"You are most kind." The Oyabun bowed deeply.

"Of course, people need more than simply food and water," Hazō said. "They also need work, a sense of purpose. Should any civilian businesses be harmed by the actions of this evil kami, the Gōketsu would be interested in helping. Perhaps you could act as our agents in this? Acquire the businesses and ensure their security and prosperity. The Gōketsu would be happy to provide capital for such a venture and split the profits with the Chivalrous Organization as an agent fee."

The Oyabun's eyes lit up.

"Specifically, a 10% agent and management fee," Mari said. "After all, the Gōketsu would be supplying the capital."

The light disappeared. "Ah. Yes, of course My Lady."

"That covers all of my business," Hazō said. "Oyabun, the lines of communication are open between the Gōketsu and your brotherhood. Feel free to message us with any matter you consider significant, or drop by our estate or our establishments here in the city. The Naked Jaybird has an excellent menu."

"Yes, of course." The Oyabun bowed again. "I have heard only good things. In fact, I believe some of my associates were looking for a good place for dinner tonight. Would it be convenient for them to come?"

Hazō smiled. "That would be lovely! I hope they enjoy it."

"I feel certain they will, My Lord."

---

XP AWARD: 4

Brevity XP: 1

"GM had fun" XP: 1

• +1 for scene: Oyabun

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