"Morning, Hazō," Mari said, yawning hugely in the middle of slouching into the kitchen. She stretched her arms, then bent into a back walkover followed by a front walkover. Hazō could hear the crack of her back from six feet away. She grimaced as she straightened up. "Getting old," she muttered. She pulled a lock of hair around in front and went through it carefully. "No grey. That's good." She tossed the hair back over her shoulder, grabbed a random meal seal off the kitchen table and settled down opposite Hazō. She opened the seal and hmphed in satisfaction to find that it was sushi with fried egg.
Hazō watched all this with an amused smile and pushed the teapot towards her. She poured herself a cup and raised it in thanks.
"It's okay," she said. "You can ask."
"Ask what?" Hazō said innocently.
She gave him a Look. "You are so desperate to get your briefing that you're about to fly apart at the seams, but you're working at building up patience as part of your Clan Head practice, so you aren't asking."
Hazō grimaced. "I'm also trying to work on concealing my impatience. Guess I've got a ways to go there."
"I've got an edge on that one," she admitted. "You always Iron Nerve the same expression when you're trying to hide impatience. Change it up sometimes."
"Huh," Hazō said. "Did not think of that. I'll work on it." He smiled a little. "So 'Iron Nerve' is a verb now?"
She shrugged. "You knew what I meant, right?"
"Point." He sipped from his own tea. "What have you got?"
"It's looking interesting," she said. "First, I'm a little worried that Ami's machinations are going to backfire on us. She recruited a bunch of KEI jōnin to challenge Hagoromo to three spars a day, yesterday and today. Obviously, they arranged their spars to happen on opposite sides of Leaf, about three or four hours apart through the day. He has to go to a spar, waste time as the challenger draws out the pre-fight talking, burn chakra during the fight, then have a post-fight discussion and fight breakdown because it would be super rude not to. It keeps him running around instead of doing politics, and it leaves him sweaty and low on chakra so that he's irritable and slightly nauseous.
"At the same time, she recruited a bunch of other people to ask him to do various religious stuff for them, many of which he hasn't been able to do because he was too busy with the spars. The ones he has been able to do, he's showed up either sweat-stinky or obviously having come straight from the bath, which suggests he didn't take it seriously enough to allow enough time in advance."
"I'm liking this so far," Hazō said. "What's the problem?"
"The problem is that he crushed it yesterday. Tossed the first two jōnin around the field like rag dolls and got a solid win against the third one. He took some bruises, but that's about it. It was basically him showing off how strong a fighter he is. He's got three more fights today, the last one being against Ruri the Condor Summoner. If he does as well today then it's going to seriously boost his chances in the election."
"I don't suppose we can intervene?" Hazō asked. "Fix the fights somehow?"
Mari hesitated, chewing her lip. "Let's circle back to that one. I can chew on it while I do the rest of the briefing, and I've got plenty more juicy stuff to share."
"Sweet!" Hazō said. "Go on."
"My contacts over on the Sarutobi estate have been talking about a lot of angry clan members yelling at each other in the corridors. It's pretty clear that some of the Sarutobi aren't very happy being ruled by a woman who married into the family, even if she was Asuma's chosen successor and he was very clear about the fact that he expected everyone to support her." She shrugged. "Honestly, I think they'd probably go along if she were handling her grief better. She's angry. She snaps at people when she should pour the oil, she's got too low a threshold for bullshit and inefficiency, that kind of thing. She's not a rabid dog or anything—she's a smart woman who is doing a good job, but she's facing off against a bunch of challenges from within and without."
"Poetic phrasing," Hazō noted. "Presumably the challenges from outside the clan are things like other clans jockeying for position against her and the Sarutobi in general. What are the inside threats?"
"Kurenai's pregnancy is a big one. The current presumptive heir is Konohamaru, the Third's grandson, but he's still a minor. If Kurenai has her child while in office as Clan Head then that child would complicate the matter a great deal. There's hints that someone is trying to push Kurenai out now and replace her with Konohamaru. My guess is that whoever is doing that intends to act as puppet master, get themself appointed regent, and run things until Konohamaru's majority, at which point they'll have had plenty of time to make the kid dependent on them."
"What are the practical effects?" Hazō asked.
"I'd say it's likely that Kurenai will bow out of the race sometime today. The Sarutobi don't have another viable candidate, so their vote will be up for grabs at that point."
"Who do you think it will go to, and is it vulnerable?"
"Not sure. Akimichi would be the default option, but Naruto isn't out of the question. Not Hagoromo, I'm confident of that."
"As long as it's not Ritsuo, I'm fine with it," Hazō said. "Naruto would be better and we'll definitely want to tilt them in that direction if we can, but I'll take it if it's Akimichi."
Mari cocked her head. "Why do you do that?"
"Do what?"
"Refer to him as 'Ritsuo'? He's your elder, your superior in rank, and a Clan Head."
"Because fuck him, that's why. He is beneath me and doesn't deserve the respect." He sighed and raised a hand, palm out. "Yes, I know. Bad habit, bad attitude, bad idea. I'll work on it." He smiled. "Besides, you call her 'Kurenai'."
"Yes, but she said I could after the third time we went out drinking."
"You went drinking with her on multiple occasions?"
"And dancing. She's a hell of a dancer. Really tears up a floor. And a ceiling, actually. Anyway, if she does drop out then the Aburame vote is on the table. I'm guessing that Shino will lean slightly towards Naruto since they were in the same Academy class and seem to have been friendly. On the other hand, I suspect it would be a very slight lean and he could easily be swayed to Akimichi's side if his clan wanted him to go that way."
"It really sounds like Lord Akimichi has this one in the bag," Hazō said. "Am I wrong?"
"Let's say...you are not necessarily right," Mari said. She leaned back, looking at the ceiling and ticking points off on her fingers. "He's got three votes locked in—Akimichi, Nara, Yamanaka. Hagoromo gets himself, Hyūga, Kyoshō, and almost certainly Inuzuka. Naruto gets Uzumaki, Kei—the clan, not the person or the organization—Uchiha, Minami, and Gōketsu. That's three for Akimichi, four for Hagoromo, and five for Naruto. On the surface that looks like Akimichi is the also-ran, but that is very far from the case. He's a powerful fighter, an experienced clan head who has lead his clan to wealth and prosperity, and a popular man who is widely regarded as quiet, humble, and wise." She grimaced. "He is, in fact, an irritatingly good man. There's no levers on him. Well, none that are safe to pull. The clan is wealthy and liquid. He doesn't drink to excess or do any drug. He adores his wife and there isn't the slightest hint of infidelity. Heck, he never so much as glanced at my tits when the three of them showed up for game night. If I were just a little bit less secure in my femininity, I would have been deeply offended."
"What are the unsafe levers?" Hazō asked. "I absolutely do not want to pull them, but I'm curious."
"Threaten his family," Mari said. "It would definitely provoke him into action, but I'm pretty sure that the action would involve earthquakes and rains of fire."
"Do...not...anger...Akimichi," Hazō said, pretending to write on his hand with a nonexistent brush. "Important safety tip. Thanks, Mari."
"No problem." She chuckled and then shifted in her seat, getting more comfortable as she went back to ticking off points. "Undecided voters, assuming that Kurenai drops out: Aburame, Amori, Motoyoshi, Kurusu, Sarutobi, and Tsunade. Tsunade, I have no sagedamned clue how she'll vote, if she votes at all. If she votes first then whoever she votes for will probably win in a landslide. People are going to follow her vote unless they have extremely strong opinions on the matter.
"Aburame, I already talked about them. The Amori and Motoyoshi...it's possible that they could go for Naruto but I'd definitely put the odds on Akimichi. The Kurusu too, except—tada!—I have discovered a hidden weakness. I think we can buy their vote for an absolute fuckton of money."
"Really? That's great! How much?"
She named a number that made Hazō wince, but nod. "That's about forty percent of our liquid assets, but it's only money. Plus, we can use the gems."
"Be careful with those," Mari said. "That little show you put on with Naruto was a good way to make an impression, but if you actually drop a hundred pounds of diamonds and sapphires on the market, the value will crash. They'll be nothing but shiny rocks."
"They are nothing but shiny rocks," Hazō said.
Mari sighed. "Yes, but people have this collective delusion that says they are more than that, so don't disabuse them. Yah?"
"Yah," Hazō said, rolling his eyes.
"Better solution would be to do what you and Asuma talked about and crash the market over in Lightning or Mist—somewhere that's wealthy and only nominally not an enemy. Sell there, spreading the sales out across multiple locations, bring the money back here. That's going to need time, so it's hard to use it for short-term promises as part of backroom deals that can't be enforced because they can't be admitted to.
"Anyway, back on topic: the undecideds are enough to send this election in any direction. I think we can swing the Kurusu but I'm not sure about the rest. What do you want me to do?"
XP AWARD: 0 The winning vote was 'Lore Update', which I suppose you could argue this is. If not, oh well. QMs have no obligation to go along with Lore Update votes.
ATTENTION: This report is for the Hokage ONLY. If you have gained access to this report, place it within a storage seal and return it to the Hokage IMMEDIATELY (Priority Black). If it is infeasible to return this report to the Hokage with NO DELAY, destroy the report immediately.
(page 2)
Destroy this report once you have finished reading it.
(page 3)
ANBU ██████████
Interrogation Summary
Exact transcription follows the body of the report
Subjects: 043, 044, 045
All: Field interrogation
All: Genin, presumed ages 16-18
All: Clan membership: ██████████
All: Captured on patrol approximately 1 mile away from borders of ██████████
All: No ██████████ training
All: No physical injuries
All: Language barrier: ██████████
All: Cultural barrier: ██████████
All: Terminate following interrogation
Question: Who in your group is the most knowledgeable regarding people and events in your village?
Response: [044 indicated as leader]
Question: What additional patrols does your village deploy?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: What sorts of long-term missions does your village deploy?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: How many missing-nin is your village aware of?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████ [Note from Hokage: When we find a lead regarding ██████████'s location, loop in the Dog Summoner to track them. Infiltration will secure an item of their clothing]
Question: Have there been any ninja not from your village that visited your village recently?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████ [Note from Hokage: With ██████████ members unprotected by AMITY, I'm authorizing their assassinations. Frankly, this is a public service]
Question: What were the Sage of the Six Paths' most important accomplishments in his life?
Response: [Subject indicates confusion concerning the question]
Response: Defeating the Tenfold Abomination, dividing it, and sealing away its component pieces. Secondary accomplishments include granting the greatest of human lords the authority to use chakra, the creation of the Six Paths, and rebinding the Ancient Mother within the moon.
Question: What do you know about the Sage's companions?
Response: The Sage had many companions throughout his life, many of whom were human lords and emperors of particularly noble character. They were the ones granted the authority to use chakra by the Sage. The Sage's closest companions were the ancient progenitors of clans such as ██████████, ██████████, and ██████████, among others. Their incredible power and noble disposition even a thousand years removed from their ancient ancestors is proof of the strength of the Sage of the Six Paths's blessing.
Question: What do you know about the Six Paths?
Response: The Six Paths are vast lands occupied by different creatures. When you die, the King of Hell judges your character. If he judges you well, he sends your soul to be reincarnated into a denizen of the Deva Path to live a life of bliss. If he judges you poorly, he sends you to the Naraka Path to live a life of suffering. Most of the sinful outsiders are destined for the Naraka Path, but by following ██████████'s teachings, passage to the higher realms is guaranteed.
Question: What do you know about the other Paths?
Response: The Preta Path is the home of the Eaters, creatures that feel nothing but hunger and seek only to devour the living. The Animal Path is home to various animals, and this is where summons come from. The Human Path is our Path. The Asura Path is home to Titans, noble godlike warriors that fight one another endlessly for glory.
Question: What do you know about the Dragons?
Response: [Subject failed to produce a meaningful response. Interrogation concluded]
Question: What additional patrols does your village deploy?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: What sorts of long-term missions does your village deploy?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: How many missing-nin is your village aware of?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: Have there been any ninja not from your village that visited your village recently?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: Where are the residences of ████████████████████?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: Where might ████████████████████ be hidden?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: What are the Dragons?
Response: [Subject indicates confusion concerning the question]
Response: The Dragons are five ancient beasts that were born in the era of the Old Gods. They were like gods themselves in power, but they were wise instead of cruel. When the Sage of the Six Paths was born, they chose to nurture him and guide him, teaching him how to be a wise and noble ruler, and entrusting him with their secret arts. Their most precious secret art was a way of turning chakra into an elemental form. Each dragon had such an art: Earth, Fire, Lightning, Water, and Wind.
Question: What happened to the Dragons?
Response: They still live, in their palaces of jade and lapis, in lands beyond the reaches of man's kingdoms. They watch the decline of the current world in despair, but they know it is no longer their era. Legend has it that they will still give their teachings to one who comes before them who is pure of heart, as Hōryū did to ██████████, hundreds of years ago.
Question: What is the Tenfold Abomination?
Response: An unkillable monster from the dying days of the Old Gods, dedicated to the destruction of all that is good and pure. No longer a threat, unless the ancient seal is broken.
Question: Do you know any more information about the Tenfold Abomination?
Response: [Subject indicates their lack of knowledge, indicates that ██████████ would be more knowledgeable about such lore]
Question: What is the Ancient Mother?
Response: In the beginning, the world was a ball of golden light, floating free in the primordial darkness. Eventually, the darkness entered into the light, and from their mixing, the world was born. The remaining light became the god known as the Heavenly Father, who lives within the sun. The remaining darkness became the Ancient Mother, and took residence upon the moon.
Question: What do you know about sealing?
Response: [Subject failed to produce a meaningful response. Interrogation concluded]
Question: What additional patrols does your village deploy?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: What sorts of long-term missions does your village deploy?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: What sorts of ████████████████████ procedures does your village employ?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: Do you know the location of ██████████?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: What is the origin of ██████████?
Response: ████████████████████████████████████████
Question: What do you know about sealing?
Response: [Subject indicates no knowledge about sealing]
Question: What do you know about three-dimensional sealing?
Response: [Subject indicates no knowledge about three-dimensional sealing, affirms lack of knowledge about sealing]
Question: What do you know about Summoning Scrolls?
Response: [Subject indicates knowledge of ████████████████████, but no other knowledge of specific Summoning Scrolls] Summoning Scrolls are ancient seals made by the Sage of the Six Paths to summon powerful warriors to his side from other Paths in the fight against the Tenfold Abomination.
Question: What are the Old Gods?
Response: The gods that ruled the world before the Sage of the Six Paths. They were cruel and capricious. They played favorites with humans, raising and nurturing clans, only to throw their lives away in battle with the playthings of other gods. The Sage of the Six Paths killed most of them, leading humanity to a brief golden age before it was set upon by other, far worse ills.
Question: What do you know of Akatsuki's ritual?
Response: [Subject indicates no concrete knowledge beyond widely-known facts. Subject speculates that the ritual cannot have been that evil, given how it apparently seemed to try to destroy the Demon Beasts.]
Question: What do you know of the Demon Beasts?
Response: [Subject failed to produce a meaningful response. Interrogation concluded]
"Welcome to my home, Lady Gōketsu," said Lord Kurusu, nodding courteously.
Mari bowed deeply. "You honor me with your welcome, My Lord. Thank you for welcoming me to your most beautiful home. It's quite elegant, and I love the art work." She gestured towards one of the portraits on the wall. "Am I correct that is your honored father?"
"You are indeed," Kurusu said, smiling at the painting. "Twenty years and I still miss him."
"A handsome man," Mari said. "And an impressive painting. May I ask who the painter was? There's a certain something to it..."
"Oh?" Kurusu asked. "What sort of something?"
Mari turned to face the portrait full-on and considered it. "It's raw. Intense. Slightly undeveloped...I suspect the artist is young, likely at the beginning of his career."
"'His' career?" Kurusu asked. "Are you suggesting I wouldn't hire a woman?"
Mari glanced at him with a chuckle and gestured dismissively with her fan. "Lord Kurusu, please. Look at the strength of the lines, the color palette choices. I'm sure you've hired women artists, but this one was definitely a man." She turned back to the art, head cocked in contemplation. "The use of chiaroscuro is inexpert but shows real talent—like the artist had a vision that he wasn't yet experienced enough to render. An impressive vision." She studied the painting for a few moments, then nodded. "Skill aside, that young man has more vision and more base talent than any three artists I've seen. I would be incredibly grateful if you would give me a referral—the walls of the Gōketsu estate are appallingly barren right now and it's making us look like uncultured church mice. I would love to have this young man help us start fixing the problem."
Lord Kurusu's face twitched slightly. "Hm, yes. I'm sure. Sadly, I don't think that young man is available."
She glanced at him in surprise, then shook her head in self-disgust. "Of course. The cracking on the oil. This painting is, what, fifteen years old? Maybe eighteen? He's an adult now, isn't he?"
"He is, yes."
"All to the good, actually. More years, more practice. If he was this good a decade and a half ago then by now...oh."
Lord Kurusu smiled.
"You painted it, didn't you?"
"I did, yes."
Mari bowed her head, hiding her face with her fan. "Well, I feel foolish. I do apologize. I didn't mean to insult—"
"Please," he said, raising a hand to cut her off. "I haven't been so flattered in years. Unfortunately, I also haven't painted in years." He shrugged. "I would love to. I try to find time, but..." He spread his hands and she nodded in understanding.
"There's always something, isn't there?" she said ruefully. "I watch Hazō and I don't know how he does it. I'm happy being the advisor. Sage forbid I actually have to take any of the responsibility for myself." She laughed.
"Hah! Indeed. In any case, enough about my long-lost art skills. What may I do for you today?"
"The Gōketsu have been looking at some commercial opportunities, for which we need partners. I was hoping you might be interested?"
Lord Kurusu smiled faintly. "That sounds terribly interesting. I assume you would be wanting our venture to start immediately?"
"I would, yes. Today, in fact. Although I suspect it would take until tomorrow evening to actually transfer the relevant valuables from our stores to yours."
"And you would be putting up the initial capital?"
"We would indeed! I think you'll be interested." She named a number. A very specific number that worked out to precisely enough money to clear the Kurusu clan's outstanding debts. Outstanding in both senses of the word.
"That is an extremely generous offer, Lady Mari," Lord Kurusu said, offering a bow of precisely the correct depth to show gratitude to a social equal, which was quite a compliment from a Clan Lord to a senior advisor of a different clan. "I'm terribly embarrassed, but I'm afraid the Hyūga approached us about this very same opportunity not three hours ago. Their offer of initial investment was...rather higher."
"Oh?"
"Indeed." In a shocking breach of propriety, he produced a sheet of rich paper from his sleeve and offered it to her.
Mari's face stayed friendly and open as she took the paper and scanned across it with a spy's trained eyes. That training meant that the eyes in question did not widen as they saw the numbers nested among the flowery language that existed only to disguise the bribe as an offer to purchase a stretch of Kurusu farmland at vastly inflated rates. She gave a dismissive tch of her tongue and handed the paper back.
"I mean...I suppose it's an offer," she said dismissively.
Lord Kurusu's brow rose. "An offer? It seems like quite a good one. If you'll forgive me being a trifle crass, it's rather higher than the Gōketsu offer."
Fuck.
"I suppose," she said, waving her fan languidly. "Of course, theirs is a single purchase. The Gōketsu are offering ongoing partnership in a trade caravan route to Tea. The money would be quite a lot higher over the long term."
"This is true," he said, nodding thoughtfully. "Of course, it's also true that money in the purse has greater value than promises from the banker."
Fuuuuuuck.
Her smile stayed perfect and calm while her mind raced. Three hours ago, she could have bought the Kurusu for 40% of the Gōketsu's liquid assets. It would have restricted their ability to grow their holdings, perhaps left them slightly vulnerable to having loans and debts called, but it was manageable. Now? She couldn't simply match the Hyūga offer, she needed to beat it substantially enough that Kurusu would be willing to offend one of the most powerful clans in the village by voting against their preferred candidate for Hokage. Worse, she needed to do it now, because if she walked out the door to go check with Hazō she was not going to be able to come back later; the deal would already have been finalized with the Hyūga. Which could be a real problem, since right now one of Hazō was talking to Tsunade, one of him was talking to Shino, one of him was talking to Lord Akimichi, and all of him were undoubtedly promising his interlocutors large slices of the clan's cash.
Sage, please don't let this be another mistake on Mari's part like when she overindulged in the scrip. Still, if they could get Naruto in as Hokage—someone who was actually positively inclined towards the clan, someone who was coming back around towards maybe liking Hazō despite still having qualms... Given a secure and positive political environment, the Gōketsu could rise to wealth and power undreamed of. Which meant she needed to make the offer.
She couldn't afford to low-ball it either. Kurusu hadn't shuffled her out the door, which meant that he was letting her make a counteroffer, but he undoubtedly expected it to be a best-and-final. Either she landed his vote or she went home and told Hazō that his spymistress had failed.
Double the Hyūga offer would probably do it, especially if she put a litle more on top just to be sure. That was the entire Gōketsu cash reserves and then some and then some more. The clan would be dangerously overextended and vulnerable to economic warfare by their enemies.
Of course, Hazō had literally hundreds of pounds of gems and the ability to make more at will. And he could pull gold out of the ground. It wasn't precisely the same as liquidity, but any clan that wanted to engage the Gōketsu in economic warfare was going to have a bad day.
What could she use...? It couldn't be a literal pile of ryō. That would be too visibly a bribe. Taking over the world's gem markets was a pie whose slices she wasn't prepared to share so lightly. There was nothing else of sufficient magnitude that Hazō had already signed off on and she hadn't yet had time to pitch him on her grand design. If she handed it to him as a fait accompli, with a partner in the mix no less, he was going to be so pissed. At the same time, the Hokage vote was uncomfortably close and the stakes couldn't be higher. Getting Hagoromo would be an utter disaster. Getting Lord Akimichi wouldn't be an immediate disaster, but there was no way it would work out. He was a moderate, yes, but he wasn't going to put up with the hinky shenanigans and social upheaval that followed in Hazō's wake. More importantly, Hazō wasn't going to back down on the relevant shenanigans and upheaval. He would take the clan to war against the rest of Leaf first, or take the inner circle back into the woods. He might back down briefly, on small things, but Lord Akimichi wouldn't settle for that. He wouldn't tolerate the sorts of challenges to his authority and sensibilities that Hazō's plans would bring. Nothing less than complete submission to the Will of Fire as Lord Akimichi understood it and full assimilation into Leaf's traditions would do for the conservative member of the ISC bloc. Hazō would choke on that.
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck. She was going to be in so much trouble.
All this flashed through her mind in a moment and then she fluttered her fan in front of herself and gave a girlish giggle. (How many more years could she get away with that gambit?)
"Lord Kurusu," she said, flicking the fan closed so she could tap him scoldingly on the arm before flicking it open again and fluttering it before her face. "You're playing with me, surely? No one with the depth to paint that"—he glanced admiringly at the portrait of his father—"would choose a momentary flash of gold to the reliability of long-term income."
"Ah, Lady Gōketsu," he said, starting to stand up, "I do appreciate your compliments, but—"
"However," she said, "I wouldn't want you to feel like you were losing out by allying with the Gōketsu. We are the Clan of Guts, sir. Hazō had thought to engage you on the Tea caravan route as a way of testing the waters before moving on to bigger things, but he did give me latitude. Allow me to tell you about our plans for conquest of Honey."
He sank back onto his heels again, his attention suddenly focused.
"Over the next few months we will be running a series of trade caravans to Mist," Mari began. "Those will be profitable, yes, but they will also serve as a cover allowing us to establish forward bases in Honey. From there we intend to take land and develop it as part of Hazō's Uplift agenda." It would also give them control of the cave which was the only current source of runic substrate, but she wasn't about to mention that.
"The land will be brought under Gōketsu ownership, marked down as part of our ancestral properties. This is the right of any clan where undeveloped wilderness is concerned."
"Honey is hardly undeveloped wilderness, my lady," Kurusu noted.
She shrugged. "It has no Kage. It has no diplomatic relations or treaties with Leaf or any of our allies. It has no major population centers and a very low population density." She so very much hoped that all of that was true.
"It does have a population, though."
"There are a handful of people anywhere you set foot. Bondsmen who have fled their service, missing-nin, farmers who seek to flee the tax man. That doesn't make those places developed. It's rich land, my lord. Fertile. Any forward-looking Hokage"—she let the words hang in the air as she held his gaze—"will be delighted to have a military force positioned on the far side of Mist, as well as the tax revenues that will come from that land. No, Honey will become Gōketsu land within the decade. Unless, of course, it becomes Gōketsu and Kurusu land."
"With respect, Lady Mari, that's utterly impractical. No single clan could split their forces across two continents for months or even years at a time. You would need to hire missions from the KEI." 'Bolstering their wealth and importance, thereby further upending Leaf's politics' went unsaid. "The expenditure required for such a venture would be ludicrous. Utterly infeasible."
"My lord, I assure you it would be quite feasible. For the Gōketsu, that is. And our allies." She shrugged. "We will, as you say, be hiring missions to further the venture. We are prepared to pay double the going rate to the Kurusu for the first five years, and to give your ninja preference when we do personnel selection. If you wish to join us as a partner instead of merely as a preferred contractor, we are prepared to grant you thirty percent of whatever land we clear, plus a guaranteed minimum monetary return for the first six seasons." She named a number, telling him exactly what that guaranteed return would be.
Lord Kurusu was a trained and experienced warrior who had endured more than one emergency field surgery without crying out or dishonoring himself through a show of weakness. In social situations he had an equally admirable stone face...but even stone can crack when hit hard enough.
"I ask your pardon, Lady, I may have misheard you. Could you repeat that?"
On the outside her smile was gentle and friendly; on the inside it was that of a wolf as its prey stumbled to the earth.
"I believe you heard me accurately, My Lord. As I said, the Gōketsu are the Clan of Guts."
He swallowed. "It is extremely generous, but, again, the cost to carry out the job..." He paused, trying to figure out how to not offend her honor while demanding that she show proof of Gōketsu ability to pay such a ludicrous sum.
She took mercy on him. One by one and in complete silence, she lay three flawless sapphires, each the size of her thumbnail, on the tea table in front of him. And then three more. And three more. And then offered a casually dismissive wave suggesting that she could have kept going but couldn't be bothered.
He stared at the glittering stones for long seconds. She could almost see the calculations going through his mind; all of the Kurusu debts expunged. Land that had been sold off being bought back. Financial security. Wealth beyond measure once farmers had been established and could be taxed.
"Lady," he said, meeting her eyes. "I feel certain that a forward-looking Hokage will bless such an enterprise. Let's talk specifics."
o-o-o-o
"Lady Tsunade," Hazō said, bowing at the door to the legendary medic's office at Leaf General.
The legendary medic in question looked up at him, eyes furious. "Here to buy my vote?" she demanded. Still, she waved him to the visitor's seat and went back to her food tray, wrapping a piece of fish in a fold of flat bread.
Hazō sank onto the chair, holding her eyes as he said, "Yes."
She snorted. "Late in the day, isn't it?"
His eyes flicked to the water clock on the credenza. "It's ten in the morning, ma'am."
"I know. I've been here since dawn. Someone else could have gotten in ahead of you."
"No one did."
"And you know this how?"
"Because I've been here since just after dawn too, ma'am. You were on rounds until now."
She glowered at him. "Ai tells me I need to let you make your pitch, so get on with it. You've got until I finish this food." She shoved a fish pocket into her mouth, eating with the efficiency of someone who had never lost a soldier's habits.
"Before I start, these are for you." He lay a packet of seals on her desk. "Dampener seals. They offer a slight resistance to motion, which helps to smooth out normal muscle jitter. Makes your hands steadier, which helps with calligraphy for sealing and should also help for surgery. Let me know if they do." He lay another seal, this one a dirt-common storage seal, on the desk. "This contains silk fragments from the spiders of the Arachnid clan. Try them out as bandages, if you would. If they're better than what you've got then it's easy to get more of them. Might even end up being cheaper than regular cloth, I'm not sure."
One fine-lined blonde eyebrow rose. "Interesting bribe."
"Oh, this isn't the bribe. This is stuff I've been meaning to drop off, and it's unconditional. The bribe comes after I make my pitch."
She looked very slightly amused as she took a bite from a small apple. "Get to it, then. I eat fast."
"It's about the rift."
She grunted a get-on-with-it affirmative and bit at the apple again.
"It's an existential threat to everyone, especially since Akatsuki took my research. If they manage to open the rift and pull Pain out, they'll do it all again. Everything Leaf lost on Nagi, everything that you fought for and Jiraiya died for, will have meant nothing."
"When you want to convince someone of something, aren't you supposed to make them feel good first?"
"Depends on the person, ma'am. I'm not trying to make you feel good, I'm trying to talk about facts. Maybe I can figure out how to close the rift. Maybe Akatsuki can't figure out how to open it. We can't rely on either of those things and, even if we could, Akatsuki would still be a problem. We need a Hokage who can deal with them. Someone with the power to make them back down and a political environment that will let them use that power. Ritsuo—Hagoromo couldn't do it and would be a disaster for Leaf in any case."
"No bias in that assessment," she said, setting the apple core down and taking a swig of her tea before fixing another fish pocket.
"With respect ma'am, don't jerk me around. You know it's true, I know it's true."
She shot him a narrow-eyed look and grunted. She swallowed the fish pocket and started rapidly plowing through a small pile of pickled vegetables.
"Lord Akimichi can't do it. He's an elite among elite jōnin, but what I know of him says he's not quite at that level. He doesn't have any of the ridiculous bullshit that you S-rank ninja throw around."
She snorted a laugh and then pounded herself on the chest as a pickled carrot went down the wrong pipe.
"Naruto is the best choice for what's coming, and I think you know that. He's been trained for the job since he could walk, and trained by the best. He's strong enough to give Akatsuki pause—or, if he isn't now then he will be in a few years, whereas both Hagoromo and Lord Akimichi have already peaked. He's smart, flexible, and a forward thinker. He's respected by everyone in the village, from the most progressive of the KEI to the hardest of the hard-line traditionalists. I suspect that even Hagoromo would admit to positive feelings, if the people over at T&I were able to pry his jaws open on the subject."
She snorted another laugh, still coughing around the carrot. Green medical chakra glowed through the skin over her sternum as the airway obstruction was pushed up and out.
"Stop trying to kill your Hokage, your treasonous little weasel," Tsunade said. Fortunately, there was amusement in the words.
Hazō smiled back. "I'll report to the killbox immediately after this conversation, ma'am. Final thought on the subject of Naruto: he's got an advantage that neither Lord Akimichi nor Hagoromo have. His Shadow Clones make the paperwork easy for him. Either of the others will need to prioritize, and some things will end up missed as a result. Naruto can simply do all of it."
"Huh." She chewed (carefully this time) a slice of pickled ginger, swallowed, and then added, "Fair point. Hadn't really considered that one."
"Thank you, ma'am. Anyway, that's my pitch for why he's a good choice. Now let's talk about the bribe: First off, I'm offering you thirty percent of the Gōketsu cash reserves. Here's the accounting." He slid a paper across to her.
She glanced at it and gave it a noncommittal grunt. "You know I'm the last scion of Clan Senju, right? And someone who's been getting paid for S-rank missions since before you were a speck of 'hey wanna get some' in your parents' eyes?"
Hazō winced. "Thank you very much for filling my head with images of my parents having sex."
She snorted amusement. "Part of that 'S-rank bullshit' you mentioned. Best hurry up. My plate's almost empty."
"Right. Thirty percent of our reserves is the footplant. Here's the windup." He opened another storage seal and produced a bag the size of a large waterskin which he proceeded to casually upend on her desk.
Sapphires and diamonds clattered on the scarred wood like rain, bouncing everywhere. Some of them spilled onto the floor.
Tsunade froze in shock, a bit of sushi dropping from her fingers as she forgot she was holding it.
"Oops," Hazō said, deadpan, as he glanced at the priceless stones that had fallen off the desk. "Sorry about that. Anyway, there's more where this came from.
"You've seen the footplant and the windup," he said, meeting her eyes. "Here's the kick: we're going to spread our gems—of which this is merely a fraction—around all markets on the continent. The Gōketsu will be pulling a huge amount of actual wealth, and if we're careful, nobody will figure out that these things are just shiny rocks. I'm prepared to offer you half of the first year's profit. Here's the estimates."
He lay another piece of paper on her desk, this one covered in line after line of Gaku's neat script. It was estimates of profit margins for various goods from Lightning, plus annotations about where in the Elemental Nations such goods could best be cashed out. At the bottom of the page was a number representing a very small but nontrivial percentage of a powerful nation's GDP.
"We have a source for these," Hazō said, gesturing to the stones. "She can supply them in amounts large enough that it might as well be infinite." The pronoun was a careful 'slip of the tongue', hopefully diverting Tsunade away from thoughts of Earthshaping and towards more prosaic potential sources.
"Yeah, Asuma's private journals talked about that whole Earthshaping thing," Tsunade said, not looking up from the financial document even as she scotched Hazō's carefully prepared misdirection. "The idea of pulling iron to the surface for easy mining looked pretty damn useful. Kurenai still has that gemstone statue of him that you made. It was on the shelf in her office last I saw."
"Ah. Right." Damnit.
She studied the page for a solid minute while he sat, waiting and stewing. Finally, she looked up.
"You're prepared to pledge me half of this if I vote for Naruto?" she demanded.
"Half of the first year's profits, yes. Plus these things"—he gestured at the stones that were scattered around—"and thirty percent of our cash reserves, which I can have in your hands before the vote."
She looked back at the paper, then looked up at him. Her face twisted sourly.
"I'll think about it," she grunted. She popped the last piece of sushi in her mouth, chewed and swallowed. "Also, you're out of time. Get out."
XP AWARD: 1 The update was only 3 hours long.
Brevity XP: 0
"GM had fun" XP: 1 The Mari scene was a blast.
It is now about 10:30am.
Voting remains closed for now.@Velorien (or @Paperclipped, if he convinces Velorien to hand over the next update slot) can choose to write the Shino and Chōza scenes from this plan or open voting for a new plan.
As Hazō stepped down from the palanquin, the young man jogging his way from across the field slowed momentarily, blinking in surprise.
After a moment, a smile split his face and he threw up a hand in greeting. "Hey, fancy seeing you here, Lord Gōketsu!"
Hazō frowned slightly as he waved off the palanquin bearers. Did he know this chūnin?
"Hello," Hazō said. "I'm sorry, I don't think we've been introduced. You're the technique hacker the Tower's connecting me with?"
The young man bowed quickly. "Yes, of course. I'm Haruhisa Yūchi. It's strange to meet you after all this time. You've been a shadow in the background of my life for the last year, with the project and the apprenticeship, but I can't believe we never actually met."
"Ah. In which case, good to meet you," Hazō said, bowing in return. "By extension, I suppose you're the best Earth Element technique hacker in Leaf?"
Haruhisa shrugged modestly. "I suppose so. There ain't a lot of Earth Element users in the country, y'know, then fewer still who've any experience making new jutsu in the element. I was lucky enough to be born with Earth, so I've got my share of experience. Plus, ever since your wonderful clan gave me its patronage, I've been getting real popular. Figured I'd give back with Reo's apprenticeship, but after that's sorted, there's plenty o' people asking for new jutsu and stuff. Though, if the Tower's asking me to do a job for ya, I'd be glad to see what I can do."
"I see." Hazō kept his frown fully internal. Haruhisa was a skilled hacker, but he was also a field ninja, splitting his attention between his jutsu hacking and his combat specialization. Would he be good enough to pull this project off?
"Well, I just came from meeting the Hokage, and I've got lunch with Lord Aburame shortly, so my apologies for keeping this brief. Take a look at this," Hazō said, reaching into a pocket and tossing a small lump of granite at Haruhisa. The chūnin caught the stone and looked it over.
"Granite?" Haruhisa asked. "Looks like pretty standard jutsu-created stone. Why, what's the deal, Lord Gōketsu?"
"Try pushing your chakra into it," Hazō said.
Haruhisa stood motionless for a second with the stone clutched in his hand. "Nothing unusual," he said eventually. "Adhesion, repulsion, all that feels normal. Why, something funny with it? It'd take a minute, but I could feel it out with Earthshaping?"
"Oh, you already know the Earthshaping technique?" Hazō asked.
Haruhisa shrugged. "S'free in the Library, after all. Free's the best price for anything. How come a Clan Lord like you's got time to learn a dinky little technique like that?"
"Don't worry about it. Knowing the technique will probably make the project easier. You're right though, that's just a normal lump of granite. Now try this," Hazō said, tossing another lump of stone at the chūnin.
Haruhisa caught the shiny teal-colored stone. "Whoa! That's weird, isn't it? It's like the stone doesn't have any natural resistance to chakra, however that works. I push a bit in, and instead of kinda sticking there, it just spreads out through the stone. If I pull as hard as I can," he said, turning his hand downwards, showing the stone sticking to his palm, "I can keep it for a second." His words were punctuated by the stone dropping. He deftly caught it before it fell. "But not for long. I think you'd hardly get any repulsion off it either. It'd be a pain to wall-walk on the stuff."
"Good. Last one," Hazō said, tossing a chunk of crystal at Haruhisa.
Haruhisa caught the crystal and frowned. He rotated it around in his hand and his eyes lit up. "This is some crazy stuff, Lord Gōketsu! Same thing here, yeah? There's no resistance to pushing chakra. Except when I push chakra into it, the chakra just flows right through. Feels like it's following the grain of the crystal? Hey, can I..." Haruhisa palmed the granite lump, then held it at the end of the crystal opposite the side he was holding. "No, can't actually chakra-adhere with the crystal in the middle. Weird... It feels like there's something funky happening at the opposite end here."
Hazō blinked. Haruhisa had sensed Hazō's experimentation with the crystal pretty quickly. "That's right, I tried to connect it with another piece of crystal at the end there and had to break it off in a way that damaged the pathways at the end."
"Ah, so that's why the chakra flow feels funky on that end," Haruhisa said, turning the crystal around in his hands. "You got some weird rocks, Lord Gōketsu. Where did you even get this stuff, anyway?"
"The crystal's from a natural cave with a very high ambient chakra density," Hazō said.
"What does that mean?" Haruhisa asked.
"I'm not entirely sure," Hazō admitted. "But Tsunade sent a mission back there to retrieve some more, so if that's something that would help your project, let me know."
"What's the project anyway, Lord Gōketsu?"
"You've noticed that the crystal has internal pathways that conduct chakra along the length of the crystal, right? I want you to make a jutsu that creates pathways like that in another piece of stone."
Haruhisa frowned. "Ah, Lord Gōketsu... Look, I'll be honest. I dunno if I can do that. I came here thinking you'd want something way simpler, like taking one o' your ninjutsu and adding more spikes, or heck, even another technique for the Ministry, like maybe some kinda jutsu that makes a lil' stone hut for civvies to live in. This is some weird stuff."
"Don't just say you can't do it without trying," Hazō said insistently. "Some very expert ninjutsu designers have scoped out this project already and they think it should be within reach for a hacker of moderate skill. You're Leaf's best. If you can't do it, no one can."
"Experts ain't always the best at judging easy from hard..." Haruhisa said, skeptically eyeing the rocks in his hands. "And the Tower thinks this is important enough that they're willing to assign me a mission over it?"
"Yes," Hazō said. "This is extremely important for the good of the village, Haruhisa. Besides, you already have the Earthshaping technique, which should be a good starting place for this project."
Haruhisa chuckled. "Alright, alright Lord Gōketsu, I'll give it a go. Reo's just about done with his apprenticeship, so I'll take a look once that's wrapped up. Plus, he's basically able to handle things on his own at this point, so I'll probably get started before then."
"Good," Hazō said. "I'll check in with you in a couple weeks. Good luck."
o-o-o
"…and of course, my congratulations to your cousin," Hazō said.
Shino smiled slightly. "Thank you. It is challenging to arrange an exogamous marriage between a clan and KEI ninja in the current age, but seeing the clan swell in strength is well worth it. As the father has no swarm to contribute, we have elected to incubate the soon-to-be child's swarm with donors from other members of the clan – notably including males saved from my elder brother, Torune's swarm. It is heartening to me to know that even though he has joined with the Will of Fire, he continues to protect the clan."
Hazō took a bite of one of the mochi cakes to keep himself from shuddering at the reminder of the Aburame Clan's secret arts. Much like the Wakahisa Clan, their abilities were half born in blood, half created under the scalpel. Except, unlike the Wakahisa Clan's so-called 'sideways' chakra systems, the Aburame voluntarily carved cavities and tunnels through their flesh to host a symbiotic colony of insects, then spent their whole lives with the creatures crawling through them, growing and reproducing under their skin…
Hazō shook his head to push the thought away, then quickly adjusted the motion into a thoughtful decline of his gaze. "We can only hope to be so much use to our clans once we've passed. Speaking of which…"
"Yes?" Shino asked, himself sampling the same delicacy his clan had prepared to finish off the private lunch between the two young clan lords.
"How is Kurenai doing? I'm interested in how she's doing for political reasons, of course, but also out of compassion. I've experienced grief myself too, though of course no two losses are comparable."
Shino nodded gravely. "Yes, she is currently grieving intensely. I believe this hit her harder than expected, partly due to the natural emotional heightening of pregnancy, partly because throughout all the loss she suffered, Lord Seventh was one of her firmest anchors. Yet, I believe she will recover. Why? Because she has experienced great loss before and has rebuilt herself each time."
"Well, that's good to hear," Hazō said. "And regarding her role in the election…"
"I am afraid I know no more than you regarding her clan's affairs. That Kurenai-sensei will be unable to make a bid for Hokage is certain, though it is now clear that she would have no chance at victory even had she been free to campaign. That she will be the one to cast Clan Sarutobi's vote, rather than the young Konohamaru who is unlikely to be tempered by the wisdom of years, is merely a hope rather than a certainty."
Hazō didn't bother asking whether Shino was doing anything to try to affect the Sarutobi leadership contest. Even if he were, the young man certainly wouldn't share it with Hazō.
"Well, we will have to hope the Sarutobi cast their vote wisely," Hazō said. "And, of course, I hope the Aburame intend to do the same."
"Of course, I plan to make the best decision I can," Shino said, nodding. "However, an important part of making such decisions is listening to counsel when it is given. It appears a trusted ally of mine seeks to give counsel now, and I would be remiss not to listen."
"I'll give it to you directly. You should vote for Naruto."
Shino didn't react, though Hazō hoped his peer at least blinked in surprise behind his smoked glasses. "That is a very direct delivery."
"Yes. There's no better fit for Hokage. Hagoromo is fundamentally unfit to the task – I don't think that needs much justification, but let me know if you want me to back that up – and Akimichi, for all his strengths, just isn't going to be enough. Naruto's been trained for the job basically since he could walk by the best that ever did it, and he's a flexible forward thinker that'll be ready to handle whatever comes at him next. Unlike some candidates, Naruto's actually respected by everyone, even traditionalists on the other side of the current lines in the sand, and he can make the best use of a united Leaf with his shadow clones that will help him run the village better than any other potential Hokage. Plus, he's strong. Unlike anyone else, Akatsuki would struggle to kill him, and he can stand up to people like Orochimaru. Given the circumstances of the election, I think that's worth taking into account."
Shino didn't respond for a while, turning his head to the side to take the pressure off Hazō as the young Aburame clan head thought. Hazō let him.
"I do not believe you need to convince me that Lord Hagoromo is unfit to be Hokage. He lacks… well, he lacks many critical qualities. Let us not bother with enumerating them. However, I am unconvinced that your arguments are sufficient to disqualify Lord Akimichi. His 'training' may not be personal tutoring at the knees of the Third and Fifth, but instead he has three decades of experience running one of Leaf's largest, most prosperous clans. While I cannot comment on his flexibility, I can say that my impression is that he is generally respected, though I doubt he garners the same level of worship from KEI ninja that Naruto receives. If Lord Akimichi does not already have shadow clones, he will certainly learn the technique in order to be an effective Hokage – and if he is deterred by the technique's chakra cost despite his famous reserves, your brother is well-positioned to fix this problem."
Hazō did his best not to shift uncomfortably. Shino didn't seem to notice.
"Indeed, after recent events and with Noburi's bloodline available, it may be wise for the Hokage to regularly randomize the location of his true body. And with regard to strength… It is true that Lord Akimichi is far less lethal than Naruto. However, I would not be quick to discount his strength altogether. He is the senior of Lord Seventh by a decade, and his strength is well-evidenced in his heroics at the Battle of Nagi Island, and his various victories throughout the Fourth War."
"I see," Hazō said. "Let's be specific. Do you have any concrete concerns with Naruto? Any ways in particular that you think Akimichi will be a better Hokage? If you're worried about Clan Aburame's prosperity under a relatively young Hokage, I want to reassure you that your clan's not in danger. My clan has recently come into some wealth, and we would certainly want to ensure our allies are well cared-for."
Shino tilted his head to the side for a second. "I am not in need of money, Hazō. Why? Your alliance plays a part, certainly, but so does a history of making diverse bets with relatively low risk. In truth, typically only greed motivates clans to take such risks that they end up impoverished, for the ordinary privileges of being clan ninja in the world's wealthiest nation are enough to ensure one's prosperity. Once security is achieved, what more will money buy? No, I would rather make my decision solely on the grounds of who would be the better Hokage, rather than sully my palms and my thoughts.
"As to the crux of my decision…
"I will elide my concerns about Lord Akimichi's candidacy. While I do have such concerns, I expect you will spend little time trying to ameliorate them. Instead, my primary concern with Naruto is his relative inexperience. Lord Akimichi has spent his entire life building, in various ways. He inherited his clan scarcely older than we are, and transformed it from a war-torn scattering of ninja into what is perhaps Leaf's largest clan by number of ninja alone. I will not linger long on the way in which he has built a family, but instead comment on his experience leading a genin team, which produced such illustrious names as the late Ebisu and Maito Gai, as well as the recently-promoted Kei Genma, who I am told has had a wholly satisfactory career.
"Lord Akimichi's time as a ninja has been characterized by taking the objects of his care and improving them through his own labor. That he will improve Leaf should he become Hokage is evident. In contrast, what has Naruto built? Certainly, he is largely unproven. Forgive me if I drastically simplify a situation that I have minimal exposure to, but it is my understanding that even in the KEI, it is your sister that has done most of the work building it into the political powerhouse it is today, rather than Naruto."
Hazō winced slightly. "I… may have quibbles with that characterization, but it's mostly right." After all, Kei often regaled him with tales of Ami's latest and greatest ideas for KEI, but Naruto primarily came up in the context of the young man's reluctance to file expense reports in a timely manner – a cardinal sin to his brilliant and stupendously uptight sister.
"Then, of course," Shino said, "there are secondary concerns associated with Naruto's youth. He will be much more easily influenced than Lord Akimichi, who has an unshakable identity. This may be seen as an asset to you, because you are among those well-poised to influence him, but there are other forces whose influence would not favor Leaf. Additionally, he is… rash, let's say. For evidence, simply see his aborted plan to attack Akatsuki just after Tsunade's election. While I have no love for Akatsuki, I have no desire to see Leaf embroiled in war again, at least until we can win such a war. I have relatively greater faith in Lord Akimichi's patience."
"I think you're overvaluing Akimichi's experience," Hazō said. "Yes, he has done a lot of stuff because he's older, that's practically a given. But age alone doesn't bring wisdom – after all, Ritsuo's even older, but, well, look at him. Instead, age brings ossification. Akimichi's not going to change his views any more than Ritsuo is, and with the world changing around him as fast as it has been the last couple of years, that could be a fatal flaw. His experience is a weakness if it sets him unshakable in stances that will break as soon as reality hits them."
"Are you referencing his stances on the KEI, perhaps?" Shino asked. "I believe I ought to note, again, that with his former genin team composed wholly of clanless ninja, Lord Akimichi is well aware of the plight of the clanless. It can nonetheless be true that the KEI's varied powers threaten to weaken Leaf – see, for instance, the incredible difficulty of adopting clanless ninja now. Or perhaps you are referencing AMITY?"
Hazō shook his head. "I'm referring to those changes, yes, but that's just what happened in the last couple years, Shino. What will happen in the next decade? Will Akimichi be able to handle whatever the next shakeup is? Or will he continue blindly chasing his ironclad vision of what Leaf ought to be, even as that grows farther and farther from possibility?"
"I see," Shino said. "I would expect Lord Akimichi to be capable of handling the unexpected. Why? Because he has plenty of experience doing exactly that, supported by the guidance of his fellow Clan Heads in the Ino-Shika-Chō. But Naruto is equally humble and willing to take feedback, but less set in his ways than Lord Akimichi. Is that correct?"
"That's right," Hazō said. "And given Naruto's status as an S-ranker, that humility is much more impressive in my opinion. It's hard to imagine Orochimaru or even Jiraiya being willing to defer to advisors as much as Naruto has – for instance, in leading the KEI."
"An interesting argument, and one I shall consider. Nonetheless, I believe the core of my argument stands. Could Naruto be a wonderful leader? Perhaps. But it may be wiser for him to be tested in smaller ways first. He should more fully take leadership of KEI, rebuild his clan, even take a team of genin. To trial his abilities under the hat is to risk disaster.
"Ah, perhaps I have an analogy that fits your sensibilities that explains my primary concern with Naruto as a candidate. If your ship limps its way into harbor, sails torn and water leaking in through the hull, who would you rather lead the repairs? The young man, fresh from his apprenticeship and learned in every joint and lacquer that could be used to construct a ship, yet who has never set his hands upon lumber? Or the old man who has made many ships that have sailed through many storms, who has seen many sink and many more go on to long, glorious voyages?"
"The analogy is set up to make the choice obvious," Hazō protested. "Leading a village is not literally like building a ship."
"It is not," Shino said with a nod. "But it captures my objection. I have concerns with Lord Akimichi as well, but exposing those would require a different analogy. Regardless, I will speak with Naruto himself shortly. I expect he will have more to say – after all, the Minami were in my clan's current position a scant two days ago, and now I hear they have decided to solidly back Naruto's bid for Hokage. I will leave my mind open to the arguments."
"Now, unless you had any further points of discussion…?"
o-o-o
Hazō's palanquin shook as something heavy impacted it. He reflexively reached for his seals as Ami swung in through the curtain that separated him from the world.
"Hey, Hazō," she said, crouching down in the cramped space that was very unfit for two. "Sorry for ambushing you, just needed to grab you before you made a big mistake since I couldn't make it this morning. You're about to talk to Akimichi, right? Also, tea?"
Hazō blinked. Ami had indeed swung into the palanquin with a full tea set in hand. The cups weren't even glued to the board.
"That's right," Hazō said. "Just got done talking with Shino, trying to convince him that Naruto was the right vote, so Akimichi's up next. Why, what's up?"
"Mm, Aburame's gonna be tough, I think. Akimichi's moderate 'just be sane' thing is going to draw them in like moths to the flame, and it doesn't help that everyone else in Shino's team is going to lean towards Akimichi and push him that way."
"Oh, you think Kurenai is going to lean Akimichi for sure?" Hazō asked. "We weren't sure, but we figured we could get her on our side since Naruto would be more likely to go after Akatsuki than Akimichi. I was planning on hunting her down tonight if I wrap up with Akimichi on time."
Ami shook her head. "Setting aside whether 'going after Akatsuki' is even a good thing, nah, Kurenai's a dead end. The chaos in the Sarutobi Clan is good for us. Little Konohamaru may be happy enough to vote for his hero, but his regents will disagree. Luckily, I have leverage. I'm about to secure their vote for Naruto right now, actually."
Hazō blinked. "That's it? You're going to waltz in and get Naruto another vote?"
Ami grinned as she poured herself a cup of tea in the slowly swaying palanquin. She gestured the teapot vaguely at Hazō, and he raised his hands. "No thanks, I've been drowning in it with all the meetings."
"Yep, that's what you get with an Ami on your side," Ami said after taking a sip. "An extra vote from the Sarutobi Clan. Well, like seventy-percent of a vote. We'll see how it goes. Anyway, that's not why I'm here. Hazō, don't take Shikamaru's deal."
Hazō frowned. "Why not?"
"Because of Tsujie Heigo," Ami said.
"The KEI special jōnin?" Hazō asked. "Who challenged Hagoromo? And because this is somehow a change, I assume he beat Hagoromo. So Hagoromo is no longer enough of a threat that we need to take the deal and steer Akimichi away from voting Hagoromo in the second round?"
Ami nodded. "Yep. And if all goes according to plan – which it will, because the outcome's basically overdetermined at this point – in about half an hour Kei Ruri's gonna spend ten minutes dancing around Hagoromo with nothing more than Clone and Substitution until he collapses of exhaustion or tries to peg her with a lethal ninjutsu, and he'll never recover from that embarrassment. I got Inuzuka Manaka to bet that he'd win which means she'll definitely notice when he loses, then a Naruto and a Mari made some magic happen with the Kyōsho that means they're probably pulling support, and the Hyūga are savvy enough to recognize a ship sinking under their feet. Within the hour, we'll all be laughing at the fact that we ever thought Hagoromo Ritsuo was a serious candidate."
"Huh. Well, that's a relief," Hazō said. "I thought you'd messed up somehow by feeding him a stream of enemies to beat to prove how strong he was."
Ami shook her head. "Nah, taking down a strong jōnin like him was never gonna be that easy. It's not just chakra that we had to take from him. We needed to rob him of the will to fight, and that took a lot of careful coordination and manipulation. Anyway, don't take the deal."
"Got it," Hazō said, mentally adjusting his plan for the upcoming meeting with Akimichi. "Speaking of which, do you have any insight into Hinata? We talked yesterday, and to say she was cryptic would be an understatement. What do you think she's up to?"
Ami shook her head. "Couldn't tell you, she's not one of the snakes eating up my limited waking hours. Anyway, gotta bounce now and win the Sarutobi vote. See you tomorrow!"
Ami swung back out of the palanquin, and Hazō heard the sound of her feet slamming on the roof. A moment later, the palanquin dipped low as she leaped away.
Hazō sighed and made a mental note to tip the bearers extra at the end of the day.
o-o-o
Hazō thumbed at the floral lapel pin Ino had given him. Violet, daffodil, and clover; the flowers were purples and yellows that clashed with his red and green wardrobe. Still, Ino clearly wanted to bring her two allied clans closer together, so Hazō was glad to carry whatever secret messages she wanted to use him for.
The door slid open.
"Chōji!?" Hazō said as the young man entered the visitor's room at the Akimichi compound.
"Hey Hazō," Chōji said as he settled down opposite Hazō and a hand quickly lashed out to savage the snack spread on the short table. "Been a while, huh?"
Hazō grinned. "Only what, two months since the last game night?"
Chōji winced. "Feels like a lot longer than that."
"Tell me about it. What's up?"
"Not too much. I figured you're here to hedge your bets in case Dad wins. There's probably no chance you end up voting for him, right?"
Hazō considered saying something noncommittal, but eventually decided to just shake his head. "Probably not. But just because we're on opposite sides now doesn't mean we're enemies. In a day's time, whoever wins, we'll be working together to build a stronger Leaf. Better that we don't let a little opposition today become the start of a rift tomorrow."
"Sensible," Chōji said, nodding. "Anyway, if Shika's guesses were right and Hagoromo's campaign is collapsing right around now, it seems pretty likely that Dad ends up winning. Just wanted to let you know that if that does happen, you got a guy on the inside," he said, thumbing towards himself with a wink.
Hazō raised an eyebrow. "What exactly are you offering?"
"Not much, actually," Chōji said, bashfully rubbing the back of his head. "Just saying that we probably ought to be better friends, and that I'd be happy to be a go-between for you and Dad if he ends up Hokage. I mean, I know you've got Ino to do basically the same for you, but I figured I may as well say that the door's still open. Anyway, you're right that I'm not really here for anything in particular. I'm just supposed to tell you that Dad's in the garden once you've eaten your fill. Take your time of course. If anyone understands the importance of fully appreciating your meal, it's him."
Hazō shook his head and straightened up. "No, I should really meet him before it gets dark," he said. As an afterthought, he grabbed one of the fried katsu slices to stuff in his mouth. They had been really good.
Chōji waved him off, and a servant led Hazō to the Akimichi Clan's private gardens.
He found Lord Akimichi Chōza, potential Eighth Hokage of the Village Hidden in the Leaves, kneeling on a thin prayer mat before a small shrine, illuminated by a trio of candles and surrounded by a thicket of greenery.
Lord Akimichi straightened, snuffed the candles, and shuttered the shrine as Hazō approached.
"My apologies for the garden," he said, back to Hazō as he fiddled with the lock on the shrine. "We only plant autumn-blooming flowers here out of tradition, but that does make it look plain in other seasons."
He turned to face Hazō fully. The man was a mountain, standing almost two heads above Hazō, with the broadest shoulders Hazō had seen on a ninja and a waistline that was broader still. Crowning his stern-featured face was a mane of red hair almost wild enough to give challenge to Jiraiya's mane of white. "Was the food to your tastes?"
"It was," Hazō said. "Though it did sadden me, a little, by reminding me of how much I've neglected our relations with the Akimichi. I would like to visit your kitchens at some point. We have many mouths to feed on our estate, but we only make food, not cuisine."
Akimichi smiled, slightly, but the expression disappeared in a flash. He glanced down at Hazō's lapel. "Walk with me, Lord Gōketsu."
Lord Akimichi started to stroll through the garden at a pace gentle enough that Hazō could easily keep up despite his injured back. Hazō mentally reviewed his openers but waited, assuming that Akimichi would take the lead.
Apparently, Lord Akimichi had no such intentions. He paused occasionally to look at a plant here or there, inspecting the leaves or testing the strength of a stalk, but otherwise seemed to be content in silence.
Eventually, Hazō had to ask. "What are you doing?"
"Just minding the garden," Akimichi said. "While I have groundskeepers for the rest of the estate, this central garden is maintained by myself, Aoi, Chōji, and Chōhei."
"It's quite a large space for just four people," Hazō said. "Especially given that you all certainly have other, higher priorities."
Lord Akimichi nodded. "Correct. There's always more that can be done to improve the garden. In that sense, it becomes a useful training exercise. How much time is one willing to spend to beautify a private place that few ever see? And how should one spend that time, given that the garden would gladly take everything you can give it and still beg for more?"
He gestured broadly around him. "It's a bit wild. Not as manicured as the Hyūga's gardens. Yet, it's something I'm proud of, and it's an honest reflection of who we are. Besides, caring for flowers can be relaxing. I'd say it's among the better habits the Yamanaka gave us."
"I see," Hazō said. "An interesting philosophy."
"I could say the same of the things I've heard from you, Lord Gōketsu," Lord Akimichi said, glancing fully at Hazō for a second. "I've had my doubts about you. No, let me be clear. For example, I doubted your character after the war. Immediately after Lord Seventh revealed that Rock was attacking us, you offered to go on the front lines if only you could be healed. Yet, in the later days of the war after you'd recovered from your injury, you made no effort to fight, even with your summons, while your fellow ninja were dying around you.
"Yet, given how you recently risked life and limb to save your clanmate, I don't think you're a coward, Lord Gōketsu. Instead, I think Lord Seventh must have feared the Dragons very much if he was willing to keep you from the front lines so that you could train your uncle in summoning to support your quest there. Similarly, I was worried about your religious inclinations, something which that visit to Bakuchioka cured me of."
"That's good," Hazō said. "Let me also be clear, then. We have our differences, politically. We value different things, and that's going to affect what we want to happen inside of Leaf. But if we take a step back and ask what we really want to happen? I think what we both want is to see Leaf safe, prosperous, and happy. I would rather our relationship be defined by that overlap in values, Lord Akimichi, rather than the few places where we differ."
"I agree," Akimichi said, pulling a creeper away from the side of a tree. "Especially now, while Leaf is still recovering, we need to work together to help Leaf rebuild. Our real enemies would like to see us tear each other apart, and we should not give them the satisfaction."
"Good," Hazō said. "Well, Ino's told me that we have plenty in common. Why are you running for Hokage, Lord Akimichi? What drives you to do this?"
Akimichi didn't speak for a while as they wandered the garden. The sun was slowly setting, but the light had yet to adopt the golden tint of true sunset, giving Akimichi plenty of time to inspect the plants while he considered the question.
"Because Leaf needs to be stronger, and I believe I'm the best person to make that happen. Lord Seventh spent his time as Hokage rebuilding after the Triple Disaster. I intend to continue carrying his torch, building a coalition across factions within Leaf that would be hard for any of the other candidates to manage. Uzumaki and Hagoromo both have extreme views that are naturally alienating, but as you say, now is the time to focus on what brings us together.
"I may not be a very creative man, Lord Gōketsu, but I know good ideas when I see them. I intend to follow the Fifth and Seventh in supporting till'n'fills and the Gōketsu's Ministry to improve the lot of the civilian population. I support your initiatives in educating the clanless, and I admire KEI's jutsu exchange for making Leaf's ninja stronger. And I greatly appreciated your idea with the adoption tickets, for making the clans stronger as well.
"Others in Leaf are doing great things. The Motoyoshi, spreading their fertility ninjutsu far and wide. The Kyōsho, and their clever plans that have been steadily expanding our spy networks through Tea, Wind, and the Southern Isles. The Minami, continuing the spirit of Lord Seventh's contest by carefully finding ways to trade techniques to strengthen themselves and other clans besides. Wherever people are trying to make Leaf a better place I would support it. And of course, when people are trying to divide Leaf, I would stop it.
"In short, I cannot promise some grand, extraordinary vision, Lord Gōketsu. I want peace, growth, and prosperity, and Lord Seventh has already illuminated the path there. I would simply carry his torch on into the future."
"I see," Hazō said. "That's a vision I can agree with, though I'm sure we'll have our quibbles about the details. Still, there are certain questions that are particularly important to me. Tell me, what do you plan to do about the Dragons?"
Akimichi looked at Hazō in bewilderment. "What would I do about the Dragons? Aren't you the one who should be telling me what needs to be done?"
Hazō blinked. "Would you do it?"
"Why wouldn't I?" Akimichi asked. "To my understanding, you're the world's leading expert in the matter. You're as deeply embroiled as it gets. Unless there was someone else that had context that disagreed with you, the only sane thing would be to defer to your suggestions there. Even if there were someone disagreeing with you, I'd expect you to discuss with them, come to a consensus, and then present it to me. I'm no summoner, Lord Gōketsu. I'll have to take your word for the affairs of the Seventh Path."
"Right," Hazō said. "And what are your stances on AMITY?"
Chōza frowned slightly as he found a patch of weeds and started to uproot them one by one. "It's useful, since it's stopped the savages from carving up the Land of Fire any more than they already have. Still, the other AMITY signatories are sharpening their blades, and I think the last two weeks have dispelled any illusions anyone had about Akatsuki being a neutral, trustworthy arbiter. I don't know whether Akatsuki or another country will be next to take their shot at Leaf, but I intend that Leaf will be strong enough to punish whoever dares try."
"Of course," Hazō said. Just like Kei had predicted, Akimichi thought AMITY was just another post-war treaty, waiting to collapse in a generation's time. At least that had revealed Akimichi's stances on Akatsuki – hostility and intense distrust.
"Well, it is getting late, Lord Akimichi," Hazō said, glancing again at the setting sun. Indeed, the garden was slowly starting to darken. "Setting aside the politics, I had one question for you that's purely for my own benefit."
"Oh?" Akimichi said, turning to face Hazō fully. Hazō suppressed a voice in his hindbrain telling him to flinch away from Akimichi's size and obvious strength.
"If you were suddenly Lord Gōketsu, what would you do? Not in terms of the Hokage vote, of course, but in general. I may have been a clan lord for two years, but you have three decades of experience. I've made my mistakes, and I've tried to learn from them, but you've got much more wisdom than me. I'd like to hear your perspective."
Akimichi nodded, turning away from Hazō again as he continued to walk. Hazō also suppressed the urge to relax slightly as the mountain's attention shifted off of him.
"First, I want to tell you that you've done better than anyone would have expected by your background, Lord Gōketsu. You had basically no training and got shoved near-instantly into a voting clan central to Leaf politics – and you continually engaged with politics instead of nearly forswearing it like the Uchiha. That you had failures is forgivable, and that you had successes is remarkable. After all, it is not strange for young men of sixteen to make plenty of mistakes."
Akimichi accompanied the line with a pointed glance to make the implication clear to Hazō that Naruto too was a young man of sixteen.
"I'll give you two pieces of advice. One general, one specific. If they're useful, use them. If they're not, discard them freely. The prime rule is that your clan is yours; let no one have authority above your own.
"My first suggestion: think less about making sure your clan is prosperous in months or years, and more about what will make your clan prosperous a century from now. It's maddeningly difficult to think this way, but it's worth it, in my opinion. Many clans have forgotten their long past in the village era, but the Ino-Shika-Chō, thanks to our long history together, have tried to remember that we intend to stand for millenia. You aren't just building a strong team of ninja or a healthy population. You're building values and institutions that will outlast the deaths of your grandchildren. In that context, many decisions that seem hard instead become clear.
"My second suggestion: do missions with your clanmates. Most of them are probably on the mission rotation, doing guard duties or patrols, beast clearing or escorts or message runs. By joining them, you connect with them and earn their respect. Your clan is big, but it is not so big, Lord Gōketsu. I have done a mission with every ninja currently in my clan, and I intend to continue this tradition until I am no longer able to do so. If my memory's correct, you had some trouble recently due to not connecting enough with the ninja in your clan. Managing people with different values is tough, but showing them that you're relatable and trustworthy is something well worth doing – and easily achievable, given the dangers of the field that you'll need to overcome together."
Akimichi barked a short laugh. "Though, that advice is easier given than executed. I'm no sealmaster that needs to spend weeks in research, so it's easy for me to suggest frequent field missions. Like I said, discard it if it doesn't sound useful to you. Or find a way to make it work. It's your clan, not mine."
"I see," Hazō said. "Thank you for your wisdom, Lord Akimichi." Hazō punctuated his words with a bow just a shade deeper than was needed between equals, as befitted one speaking to an honored elder.
"And thank you for your time, Lord Gōketsu," Akimichi said, bowing in return. "I shall look forward to additional discussions with you, however the dice fall come sunup."
A couple days ago, Tsunade dispatched a combat team to the Land of Honey to retrieve additional crystal for Hazō's three-dimensional sealing experiments. That team consists of Hyūga Neji, Rock Lee, and Tenten. With the Turtle Summoner as part of the team, acquired crystal can be transported back to Leaf immediately after acquisition.
Your sanity checkers have no particular insight into Hinata. Naruto notes that she was shy around him in the Academy, but never unfriendly. He assumes she's being controlled by the clan elders for the most part.
While candidates can and do spar with others to show off their strength, dueling between candidates has been informally forbidden since the Hokage Election of 1053, where Naruto's father attempted the same stunt of dueling every other candidate simultaneously and the Third shut him down.
With the conservative faction collapsing and in need of another banner to back, Mari counts 7 votes for Chōza (Akimichi, Nara, Yamanaka, Hyūga, Kyōsho, Inuzuka, Hagoromo) and 7 votes for Naruto (Uzumaki, Uchiha, Kei, Gōketsu, Minami, Kurusu, Sarutobi). Unless anyone switches, the remaining undecideds are Aburame, Amori, Motoyoshi, and Senju. Naruto and his team have been working over the Amori and Motoyoshi, but unfortunately, Mari reports that the two remaining members of the A-M-K bloc are considerably more resistant to bribery than the Kurusu.
It's just before sundown now, and people will soon be going to sleep. There's not much time for more politicking before the election tomorrow morning. If you have any final plans you want to execute that won't take much time (or screen-space), now would be the time to do so. Otherwise, the next chapter will cover the election.
"...and then she said she'd think about it and I should get out."
The Gōketsu advisory group, and all three Narutos, considered that.
"Sounds like Shino is still solidly in Akimichi's camp," said Naruto ThoughtfulDude. "I don't think we're going to move him."
"After everything we did for him in the Academy, too," Naruto BringerOfPoliticalPain added. "Honestly, where's the love? Where's the bonds of brotherhood, forged in the fires of the perdition that is boring homework?"
"Focus," sighed Naruto FocusEnforcer.
"Noburi, what's your read on Tsunade?" Hazō asked.
Noburi shrugged helplessly. "Not the foggiest. 'I'll think about it' is better than I would have expected."
"Yeah, no one can predict Aunt Sunny," said Naruto BringerOfPoliticalPain with a grimace. "I'm marking her as unknown." He slid the tile bearing the Senju crest to the middle of the table, then stared at the current status with a glum look.
"Even with Kurenai out, this doesn't look great," Mari said to the Naruto contingent at large. "My read says that the locked-in votes are five for Akimichi, two for Hagoromo, and six for you now that we've bought the Kurusu. There's five undecideds and I don't see all of them breaking for any single candidate. The problem is that no one is going to have a majority."
Naruto nodded. "The conservatives are splitting between Akimichi and Hagoromo. With no majority, one of them—presumably Hagoromo—will get eliminated in the first round and their voters will move to the other, not to me. That will be enough to give it to Akimichi. Not quite a landslide, but a solid win."
Hazō glanced to Mari. Are you sure? his eyes said. When he got back a faint nod he took a slow breath.
"There is an option," he said carefully. "I'm not sure it's a good one and I'm not entirely comfortable floating it, but it could work. If we can switch two or three votes we can probably land you the win, and this might do it."
Six Naruto eyes locked on his face.
"I want to emphasize that this is only an idea," Hazō said. "I'm not pressing you do it, and I acknowledge that it might be a little bit offensive."
"Get on with it!" snapped Naruto BringerOfPoliticalPain. "I promise I won't Rasengan you in the face as long as you get to the point."
"Fine," Hazō said. "Jiraiya and the Fourth both left you a legacy of jutsu. I imagine that there's some drop-dead amazing stuff in there. If you wanted, you might be able to buy a vote from any of the undecideds, or maybe even pry loose one of the decideds, in exchange for a top-shelf jutsu from a legendary ninja." He paused for just a moment, then hurried to add, "I recognize that these are your family legacy and that giving them away could be seen as—"
Naruto FocusEnforcer raised a hand to cut him off. Hazō fell silent and waited as Naruto stood, studying the election board with a grim expression. A full minute passed as he wrestled with himself.
"It's a good idea," he said at last. "I hate it, hate the idea of giving out Dad's best inventions just to get people to do the smart thing—they're going to elect me Hokage sooner or later. If they would do it in thirty years, might as well do it now and gain the benefit of my good grace, right?" He chewed his lip, studying the table layout where all the relevant clan symbols had been shuffled from column to column as the team debated strategy and likely outcomes.
"Worst part is that it might need more than one jutsu per clan," he said. "Sucks, but I can swing it." He placed his fingers in a cross. "Shadow Clone Technique!" A clone popped into existence beside him, then promptly dispelled. "Okay, I'm on it. I'll go for the Motoyoshi, the Amori, and the Inuzuka. I have stuff that would be perfect for each of them."
Hazō blinked. That had been easier than expected. For a moment he started to open his mouth and let words along the lines of 'hey, what about us' tumble forth. Then he closed his mouth. That would be for another time, after he had discussed it with his advisory council.
"Have to say," he said instead, "it's a pleasure working with you, Naruto. Narutos. I was really worried that idea would be a huge problem that would blow everything up. Win or lose, I'm glad we've done this. We're with you as much as you'll have us, now and in the future."
Naruto ThoughtfulDude snorted. "Now you're straying over the line into brown-nosing." He stuck out his tongue at Hazō, then laughed slightly and went back to studying the board. He slid the Motoyoshi, Amori, and Aburame tiles over to his own column. "Let's look at the optimistic scenario first. I'm thinking..."
o-o-o-o
Meanwhile, across town...
"Naruto! Such a pleasure," Lord Motoyoshi said as he bustled into the room, tying the belt on a semi-formal robe that he had clearly just now changed into. Droplets of water sparkled in his hair, which had clearly not been toweled sufficiently dry in his haste to leave the tub. "I apologize for keeping you waiting."
"No trouble at all, sir," said the freshly-renamed Naruto MotoyoshiBuyer with an easy smile, standing up and bowing. "It's late for business meetings. I apologize for inconveniencing you, and thank you for being willing to see me."
"It is my turn to say 'no trouble at all'," Motoyoshi said with a smile. "What may I do for you?" He started to kneel on the cushion in front of the low tea table, opposite where Naruto had been a moment before, but stopped when the blond waved him off.
"Would you be willing to go to the training field with me, sir?" Naruto asked. "I need to show you something. Your family field is fine. We don't need to go to one of the public ones."
"But of course," Motoyoshi said, a brief look of confusion flitting across his face. "Right this way."
Motoyoshi led him through the house, sending a trio of torch-bearing civilian servants ahead at a run while the two ninja moved at a more sedate pace. By the time they exited from the back of the house and wended their way to the Motoyoshi family training field, tall torches had been lit to light up the entire place.
The field was significantly smaller than the public fields, but still well equipped. There were a dozen training dummies, three climbing walls, a ropes course, a variety of targets, and various other accouterments. More importantly, the surrounding eight-foot hedges meant that it was private. Lord Motoyoshi nodded for the servants to leave and they scampered quickly away.
"Grampa used to tell me that I could be too direct," said Naruto MotoyoshiBuyer, looking out over the field with his hands clasped behind himself. "Personally, I think there's a time and a place for directness and a time and a place for courtly manners. When I have to deal with the other Kage"—he paused very briefly to let the implication land, but did not turn to look at Motoyoshi—"I'll be indirect and spend time on all the fripperies so that I don't hurt their feelings or bruise their fragile egos. I believe that Leaf ninja, especially the Motoyoshi, are tough enough that I can dispense with that. Do you mind?"
"Of course not," Motoyoshi said, gesturing for him to continue. "Please, be direct."
Naruto MotoyoshiBuyer studied his target for a moment, then nodded and flipped out a pair of handseals. "Earth Element: Swamp of the Underworld!"
Across the entire training field, the ground liquified into black tar and lashed out, engulfing all but one of the training dummies and immediately converting to stone. Two of the dummies were covered up to their putative necks while the rest were completely entombed.
"That one there represents a Motoyoshi using the technique," Naruto said, pointing at the lone dummy that had been unaffected. "The rest are rat-bastard enemy ninja."
Lord Motoyoshi's eyes were wide. "That is a very effective technique. So quick! So many enemies at a stroke."
"It can cover a much wider area than this," Naruto said. "Wider than any of the public training fields, in fact, and it can hit everyone in its area. Pick whichever of the training dummies you hate the most." He gestured in broad invitation.
The older man frowned in momentary puzzlement, then pointed. "That one."
Naruto MotoyoshiBuyer raised one hand and made a fist. The rock skin around the training dummy instantly crushed itself into a ball amidst the sound of thick, sturdy oak being reduced to splinters and pulp.
"Oh look," Naturo MotoyoshiBuyer said, pointing to one of the two dummies with its 'head' still visible. "Looks like we're finished interrogating that one. No need for him to be listening to us anymore." He flicked a finger and the stone converted briefly back to tar, lunged upwards, and converted back to solidity with the dummy fully encased.
Lord Motoyoshi's eyes were wide. Naruto MotoyoshiBuyer watched him process, then nodded gravely. "No reason to ruin your training field." He gestured and the stone converted back to tar, flowed downwards, and converted once more into regular earth. No trace remained that anything had happened, except for the devastated splinters that had once been a training dummy.
Lord Motoyoshi turned to him, eyes narrowing. "Lord Uzumaki, is this intended as a threat?"
"No. It's intended as an offer. I think this technique would be extremely useful for the Motoyoshi, don't you? As I recall, you have a fair number of Earth users."
"We...do indeed. You are offering to give us this technique?"
"This technique, and two others. After all, as your Hokage it will be my duty to ensure that the Motoyoshi are a strong clan. I think something like this would go a long way towards ensuring that, don't you?" He gave him just a moment to parse that, then continued just as Motoyoshi was opening his mouth to speak. "You agreed that I could be direct with you, My Lord, so I will. I'm not asking you to violate your principles. If you think Lord Akimichi would be a better Hokage than I would, I completely understand and won't hold it against you. That said, my election tomorrow is almost guaranteed at this point, but I would like it to be as close to unanimous as possible. There are others of me speaking to other clans right now, offering powerful jutsu from my father and from Lord Jiraiya. I'm going to get the votes I need, so the only question is if the Motoyoshi will profit or not. If you have a few minutes, perhaps we could discuss what needs the Motoyoshi have that the Uzumaki jutsu library could help with?"
No stranger to the changing winds of politics, Lord Motoyoshi smiled and nodded his head in a polite bow. "I do indeed have time, Lord Uzumaki. Perhaps we could return to the sitting room and discuss it over a nice tea...?"
"I would like that very much, My Lord," said Naruto MotoyoshiBuyer. He gave the older man a polite bow, then gestured to the house. "Please, won't you lead the way?"
The moment Motoyoshi turned away to lead him back inside, he conjured and dispelled a clone.
o-o-o-o
Back on the Gōketsu estate
The meeting had wound down and everyone was now lounging around the fireplace in the main living room, feet up and mugs of tea or hot chocolate in hand.
"So, yeah, eating can be a little funny," said Naruto FocusEnforcer. "Sometimes one of me will eat something and then dispel, just to mess with the rest of me. Imagine that you're eating oranges and suddenly you taste fish from the guy who just now popped himself."
Naruto ThoughtfulDude shrugged with a grin. "Hey, what can I say? It's my thing—oh, cool. We got the Motoyoshi."
Mari's eyebrows rose. "That was quick. What was it, an hour ago that Hazō made the suggestion?"
Naruto BringerOfPoliticalPain chuckled. "S'funny. When you're the son of the Fourth Hokage, the jinchūriki of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, and a candidate for the Hokage's hat, people are surprisingly willing to take the meeting. Even if they're in the bath."
"What did you sell him?" Hazō asked. "If you don't mind me asking, that is."
"Eh, not important," Naruto BringerOfPoliticalPain said with an overly understated wave of one hand. "Something I thought he would like. Anyway, it worked."
Translation: yes, I mind you asking.
"That's what counts," Hazō said. "Do you want a topper on your hot chocolate?"
o-o-o-o
March 26, nine in the morning, the Hokage's conference room
Shikamaru rapped his fist on the table. "In service to the Leaf, and to our glorious nation, and to the Will of Fire, I, Nara Shikamaru, call this meeting to order. Let us all speak truthfully and serve loyally."
"Let us all speak truthfully and serve loyally," chorused the Clan Heads, enacting once more the full formal protocol that had not been used since the last time there was need to elect a Hokage. Which, if you thought about it, was way too recent. On the plus side, this time Hazō got to sit at the table and no one was going to try to crowd Naruto out over procedural issues.
"The sole order of business today shall be to elect a new Hokage," Shikamaru said. "Candidates for the Hokage's office, please stand and declare yourself, starting from my left and proceeding around the table."
Ino sat to Shikamaru's left. To her left sat a living mountain of muscle. The mountain now stood. "Akimichi Chōza, of the Founding Clan Akimichi, Clan Head through three decades. I stand for Hokage by my right as a ninja of the Leaf who has fought and bled in her service."
Shikamaru nodded and continued looking around the table. Each Clan Head in turn shook their head slightly until everyone's gaze stopped on Hagoromo.
Lord Hagoromo's jaw tightened.
Hazō waited for the reactionary jerk to stand up. And waited. Two breaths later, he and everyone else in the room watched Hagoromo shake his head and look to his left.
Hazō's spine tried to crawl out of his back as every scrap of political analysis they had done went straight out the window.
"Uzumaki Naruto, Lord of Clan Uzumaki, jinchūriki of the Nine-Tailed Demon Fox, son of the Fourth Hokage, student of the Third and the Fifth. I stand for Hokage by my right as a ninja of the Leaf who has fought and bled in her service."
Shikamaru checked that no one else was going to stand and nodded. "Show your banners, please."
Both men walked to opposite sides of the room, Naruto to the north and Akimichi to the south. A rack on each wall held a wooden staff with a cloth-wrapped bundle on one end. Hazō watched with bated breath as the two men pulled off the wrappings and turned, setting their backs against the wall, feet spread shoulder-width apart, with the base of the staff against their foot and their arm held out at an angle so that the gold-thread banners could hang free and the clan symbol on each could be recognized. To the north: The red spiral of the Uzumaki. To the south: the stylized butterfly wings in a circle of the Akimichi.
"If anyone else desires to stand for office, speak now or forever be silent."
Shikamaru tapped his knuckle four times on the table, four discrete sounds that marked the time for challenge and found it empty.
"Clan Heads and regents," Shikamaru said, "it falls to you: You must choose the candidate you believe will lead the Land of Fire into its best possible future. The Hokage must prevent war when possible and win it when not. The Hokage must care for the people of Fire, maintain order, tradition, and well-being to the greatest extent possible. The Hokage must serve as impartial judge and justice. The Hokage must embody the Will of Fire in all its forms, and serve as a role model to all citizens.
"Please, consider your choice carefully. When you have chosen your preferred candidate, stand at their side." His eyes flicked to the side, meeting briefly with the person three to his left.
Inuzuka Manaka, the person in question, stood up immediately. "The Inuzuka, Founding Clan of Leaf, are honored to stand beside our heroic Lord Akimichi." She moved to stand with her hoped-for Hokage.
Immediately to Shikamaru's left, Ino rose to her feet. Her face was serious as she said, "The Yamanaka have been allies of the Akimichi for generations. They are men and women of honor. They are warriors who can stand on any field and are respected by every foe. I have known Akimichi Chōza my entire life; there are few people I respect as much and no one that I respect more. He protected my father in battle and he will protect Leaf in peace and in war. The Yamanaka are proud to stand at his side." She moved to the wall at the left hand of her father's teammate.
"The Nara too have been allies of the Akimichi almost as long as the Nara and Akimichi clans have existed," Shikamaru said. "Akimichi Chōza is everything one could ask for in a Hokage. He is a powerful and battle-tested warrior, a man of deep integrity, and a decisive leader who has brought his clan growth and success for decades. His convictions are strongly held, yet he can be convinced by good evidence and good argument. The Nara wholeheartedly stand beside Lord Akimichi." He took his place to Akimichi's right.
Lord Kurusu stood.
"While it is true that Lord Akimichi is a man among men," Kurusu began, "it is also true that he is but a man. Lord Uzumaki is more: he is the jinchūriki of the Nine-Tailed Fox. Everyone at this table knows that Lord Uzumaki has taken S-rank missions that no one at this table is cleared to know about, and everyone knows that he has succeeded." He paused, looking around the table and letting the words hang.
"Lord Akimichi was thoroughly trained to be leader of a clan." He smiled. "Lord Uzumaki was thoroughly trained to be the Hokage.
"Lord Akimichi was trained by the Akimichi Clan Lords who came before, all of them wise and capable men and women who deserve honor. Lord Uzumaki was trained by the Third Hokage, and by the Fifth. Living legends who will be remembered in our history books after everyone in this room is dust.
"The Kurusu are privileged to stand beside the next Hokage, Lord Uzumaki." He turned with Academy precision and marched to stand at Naruto's right.
There was a pause as everyone digested that, and then Hinata rose.
"The Hyūga are a Founding Clan of Leaf, and I think it fair to say that we are a conservative one. By 'conservative', I mean that we stand firm in the knowledge that our nation is the greatest in the world and that it is the Will of Fire that have made us so. Akimichi Chōza embodies the Will of Fire in every fiber of his being. He honors our traditions yet is flexible enough to extend them and adapt them to changing times." She smiled very slightly, and a little ironically. "I think it reasonable to state that we are living in changing times right now. Lord Akimichi's personal strength will allow him to stand tall in the face of Akatsuki or anyone else. His honor and intelligence will allow him to navigate through the storming winds we stand within. The Hyūga are delighted to stand beside Lord Akimichi." She suited action to words, taking her place beside the man that Hazō desperately hoped would lose.
Lord Kyoshō rose. "Lord Akimichi is one of the finest men who could possibly stand for Hokage. The Kyoshō are honored to stand beside him." He took his place as Sasuke rose.
"I fear that Lord Kurusu rather stole my thunder a few moments ago," Sasuke said, a bemused expression on his face. "Suffice to say, I have known Lord Uzumaki since we were both in diapers. I have grown up beside him and I am comfortable saying that I know him better than anyone else. He has comforted and supported me in my darkest moments, as he will comfort and support Leaf in the harsh days to come. I have fought beside him and he has protected my back, as he will protect Leaf's when our enemies come for us. I respect Lord Akimichi for the great man and warrior that he is, but there is no doubt in my mind that Naruto is the best choice for Hokage." He nodded to the assembled councilmembers and took his place beside Naruto. The jinchūriki gave him a subtle fist bump as the Lord of the Uchiha moved past him.
Clan Lady Kei Haruka rose.
"The Kei are the newest clan in Leaf," she said calmly. "We are the response to changing times, the explorers through the wilderness of potential. We represent the future of Fire, and we stand beside Lord Uzumaki with all our hearts and souls." She took her place.
Hazō wiped his palms on his thighs under cover of the table. The Motoyoshi would go to Naruto thanks to his epic bribe. The Amori were still up in the air as far as Hazō knew; Naruto AmoriGet had still been negotiating with them when (probably) Prime left the Gōketsu estate last night. Right now it was six to four in Akimichi's favor, and Hazō had not the slightest clue what any of the undecideds would do.
All eyes turned to the seat beside where Kei Haruka had been sitting. The seat in which sat Hagoromo Ritsuo, the man who had not stood for office.
Hazō could see the muscle in his cheek standing out as Hagoromo gritted his teeth. He rose and nodded slightly to the table at large. "The Hagoromo Clan, lorekeepers of Leaf, guardians of the Will of Fire, stand beside Lord Akimichi." He took his place.
Lady Minami rose. "Clan Minami stands with Lord Uzumaki." That was all she said before taking her place against the north wall.
The tall, spare man, who sat where Kurenai should have been, rose to his feet. He couldn't be more than mid-twenties at the most, but his hair was already thinning and his features were tight, as though all unnecessary flesh had been scraped from his face.
"I, Sarutobi Kanbō, speak as Regent for Clan Lord Sarutobi Konohamaru. The Sarutobi are honored to stand beside Lord Uzumaki."
He had not even fully taken his place by the wall before Lord Motoyoshi rose.
"The Motoyoshi find Lord Uzumaki, descendant of the Fourth Hokage, strongest ninja of his generation, to be by far the best candidate for Hokage. There is no one we would rather follow." He took his place.
Hazō rose. "The Gōketsu are the clan of the Fifth Hokage. The Fifth was the teacher of the Fourth, despite the rather unexpected ordering of their reigns. Jiraiya spoke often of his student and his student's son. He told us tales of courage, and honor, and of incisive intellect." He smiled very slightly. "And yes, of a wicked sense of humor. Embodying all of those qualities, there is no man or woman in Leaf that the Gōketsu would rather serve than Lord Uzumaki Naruto." He moved to the wall. Eight to seven in Naruto's favor, with three votes left. Sage, this could actually be another tie.
The room was quiet as the remaining undecideds looked at one another.
"Oh, for fuck's sake," Tsunade muttered under her breath. She pushed herself erect. "Let's get this done, shall we? Chōza, you're a brilliant man, you're a terror on the field, and you're a good leader." She hesitated and Hazō's lungs stopped working.
Tsunade shook her head. "You're also not the man for this job. The biggest thing that our next Hokage needs is the raw power to stand up to those chuckleheaded fucks in the red and black cloaks. Everything else he can delegate or get given good advice on. I'm not sure you could beat Naruto in a straight fight today, and I'm confident you won't be able to in two years. He's the man we need." She looked around at the remaining voters. "Now could you lot get off your asses? I've got patients to get back to." She stomped over to the north wall and shoved into place at Naruto's left, forcing everyone to shuffle over to make room.
Shino stood and nodded very, very slightly to Tsunade. "The Aburame, Founding Clan of Leaf, do not appreciate your tone, Lady Senju. Why? Because this occasion is solemn and deserving of respect and consideration. It is not a time for bluster or hasty decisions. It is time for men and women of principle to use every scrap of their powers to make the decision that will shape Leaf for generations.
"We also do not appreciate the framing you have provided this session. If I or Lady Amori vote for Lord Uzumaki, we are seen to do so because you compelled us. If we vote for Lord Akimichi, we do so to spite you. You have made it very clear how little respect you have for the honor of the Hokage's seat, but today you dishonor it and you dishonor us by influencing the vote in this fashion."
Hazō cringed inwardly as he waited for the mountain to fall and crush Shino into an abject ball of pain and tears. Instead, the strangest thing happened: Tsunade looked abashed.
It took her a moment, but finally she said, "Clan Senju apologizes to you, Lord Aburame." Unbelievably, her voice was mostly contrite. "You're right. I should have waited."
"Thank you." Shino gave her a shallow bow, then looked back and forth between the two Hokage candidates for several seconds, clearly considering his words.
"Lord Uzumaki, everything that has been said about you today is true. You are a fearsome warrior. You control a legendary and inhuman power. You have been trained by masters to do this exact job. You will lead Leaf to heights we cannot currently dream of."
Hazō released a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.
"When you take the hat. I apologize, but I do not think that today is the day for you to take it. I respect you and consider you a friend. I value that friendship greatly, and I hope this vote will not damage it—"
"It won't," Naruto said, interrupting with a smile and a nod. "Don't worry, we're good. Vote your conscience."
Shino nodded respectfully back. "Thank you. Despite my issues with her delivery, I agree with Lady Senju: what Leaf needs right now is the power to stand up to Akatsuki. The truth is that no single person in this room can defeat them in a physical fight—not against all of them. The question then is who can prevent it from escalating into a physical fight. You are young, which will cause them to subconsciously consider you less of a threat, less important. You lack the metaphysical power to cow ninja of Akatsuki's strength. And"—he gave the Aburame version of a chuckle—"although it seems a ridiculous thing to make such important decisions on, you are physically smaller than most. Not physically imposing, and you lack the years to have built up the mission history that would let your reputation do the work. Lord Akimichi is physically and metaphysically imposing and has a long and impressive history on the battlefield. All members of Akatsuki will respect him and none of them will wish to escalate without need. As such, the Aburame stand beside him."
He marched across the room and took his place on the south wall.
All eyes turned to Lady Amori, who leaned back in her chair, fingers laced on the table before her as she considered the candidates. It was eight to nine in Naruto's favor and only the Amori remained. She could give him the win, or she could make it a tie. As had been shown in the last election, there was no mechanism to resolve a tie. Last time, Asuma had been willing to yield so as to prevent a schism. This time...well, neither Naruto nor Lord Akimichi were known for their yielding natures.
Lady Amori rose to her feet, clearly enjoying the rapt attention.
"As Lady of Clan Amori, I wish to make one thing clear," she began. "Lord Akimichi, Lord Uzumaki, you are two of the finest ninja ever to graduate the Leaf Academy. You are both brave, powerful, honorable men. Either of you would be a fine leader for our nation and each of you deserves to have your face on the Monument."
Holy fucking Sage, woman, get to the point before I have a heart attack! Hazō thought.
"I hope to maintain good relations with both of you going forward, and I will say that choosing between the two of you was the hardest choice I have made as Clan Lady. With that said, Clan Amori casts its vote with—"
Breaths were held around the room.
"—Lord Uzumaki Naruto. Your honor is our honor, Lord Hokage." She bowed deeply and took her place against the wall.
The moment her back touched the wall, Naruto became the Eighth Hokage and Hazō was able to breathe again.
In the middle of a clearing, surrounded by a forest forcibly thinned by an unusually harsh winter, a group of ninja made camp. Three of them, the juniors, busied themselves with caring for the camp. They cleared away the snow cover and dead leaves for sleeping arrangements, tended to the fire, and cleaned up the remains of a hearty evening meal. The last of them, an older woman, gazed into the distance.
The soft sound of music drifted into the clearing upon the wind. A flute melody, haunting and ethereal, danced in and out of the barren treeline around the camp.
Immediately, the woman sprang into motion. She called her chakra to her aid and accelerated, moving to the side of one of her companions. She stopped for a fraction of a second. The other ninja had frozen in place, hunched over the dinner pot he'd been scrubbing clean. He was breathing, eyes wide open, but unmoving.
In that bare sliver of a moment, a man emerged from the ground and completed the final handseal of a lengthy chain. If it weren't for the obvious ninjutsu, the patches of brightly-colored hair on his otherwise bald head would have marked him as a ninja. Before his feet had even fully emerged from the ground, he slammed his palms into the earth and a ring of stone started to rise around the camp.
Her fractional hesitation cost her. She immediately abandoned her ally and dashed for the ring, hoping to escape the trap.
The stone walls were rising and narrowing to form a complete bubble around her camp, but not fast enough. She leaped onto the stone to run and vault over its lip, only to slide down immediately and fall onto her rear. Many wall techniques resisted chakra-adhesion, but this one didn't just resist her chakra. It was like she'd completely forgotten to wallwalk at all.
She waited, confused, for another fraction of a moment, and another window of opportunity closed. She could no longer reach the top of the closing stone bubble on foot. A chakra-enhanced jump could still take her to the top. She leaped and caught herself along the edge of the ring – only to find the chakra in her arms suddenly gone. With her strength unexpectedly robbed, she crashed back to the ground.
To her credit, she bounced immediately to her feet. She was now fully enclosed within the stone dome. Somehow, there was still light. Minuscule holes in the dome, she realized, presumably left open to let the odd flute music continue to paralyze her allies.
Thoughts raced through her head. Could she break through the dome with ninjutsu? No, she'd never learned Lightning to break through Earth. Could she stuff wax in her allies' ears to regain the numbers advantage? Perhaps, if she had time to tap her storage seals. She stopped theorizing as she realized that there was another figure in the dome with her. Male, by the height and build, and walking towards her. He was not running, as any ninja opponent would. Walking.
She dashed to the farthest point of the dome from the man, pulling out seals as she did so. She placed an explosive tag against the dome and tried to activate it. Nothing. So, was the dome draining chakra? She flicked an explosive tag to the side, near the base of the stone wall without touching it. The tag exploded, throwing up dirt and revealing a weakness – the dome didn't extend below the ground!
She placed an Earth Eater seal on the ground and said a silent prayer to the ancestors. She activated the seal. It carved away a sphere of dirt around the seal and blessedly ignored the ninjutsu-created stone that would certainly have caused a sealing failure had it been stored. Dirt under the wall disappeared, opening a momentary hole to the outside. She dived for the gap, only to scramble back as the wall grew and expanded to fill the hole – quickly enough that her arms would have been crushed under the stone had she followed through.
She backed away along the side of the dome, ideas and plans popping into her head and being discarded with equal frequency. The dome wasn't impermeable, as it was studded with dozens of coin-sized holes. Could that provide an opportunity? Or could she quickly free an ally? She mentally flicked through her available ninjutsu, seeking anything, anything that could win her even a moment of freedom that would let her skywalk away from this disaster. As she did so, she turned back towards the center of the dome.
In the evening light passing through the holes along the dome, she recognized the man still slowly walking towards her. Tall, dark-haired and pale-skinned, clean-shaven, with features that could have been twenty-five or forty.
Orochimaru.
She would not escape. Or rather, there was only one escape that she could manage, and it was not an escape that she would survive. She drew an explosive tag from her seal pouch to prime it with timer zero. Her hand stopped functioning.
She looked down. A long, reflective length of metal had pierced the explosive tag, passing between the long bones of her palm. She felt a flash of pain, delivered to her a moment too late to be useful. The blade was poisoned, of course, and she could already feel numbness growing like roots through soil, paralyzing her fingers and sending shooting tingles up her arm.
With her other hand, she grabbed a kunai. She most likely wouldn't be able to do sufficient damage to her neck that she would die, not when Orochimaru was right there to provide treatment, but perhaps she could damage her vocal cords enough to make interrogation impossible.
As she swung the kunai to her larynx, she realized her mistake. Orochimaru belonged to Leaf, and the Mori demon had made her treaty for this purpose. She should have prioritized making sure that everyone would know this AMITY violation was Leaf's fault. Too late.
She completed her swing and punched herself in the throat. She coughed.
Where had her kunai gone?
Too late. He now stood in front of her, and she could feel the chill of poison numbness spreading across her chest.
One final weapon. She ripped the chains off of her soul, letting her inner wolves free to bound through the clearing and savage the man. For the first time, she felt confident. She wouldn't win, but she would never bend. She would stand against Orochimaru until he applied enough force to break her, and then she would break. He'd take her body, but never her mind, never her secrets, never her–
A length of steel pierced cleanly through her skull. A parallel length pierced her wolves, and they went limp mid-run, supported solely by the steel emanating from Orochimaru. The steel stayed in her mind as he twisted it, and suddenly she felt her soul laid bare upon the operating table. Orochimaru reached into her with his scalpel and separated her from herself.
Her courage? Severed and discarded.
Her pride? Disposed of.
Her loyalty? Worthless.
Her love? Ripped from her mind.
She came to as the steel left her mind and she sagged against the wall, panting, as the numbness continued to spread across her chest.
He reached out with one hand and gently cupped her under the chin.
"Kurosawa Ren."
Ren met his gaze. What else could she do?
He broke eye contact first, glancing to the side, where her pierced hand was no doubt still dripping blood onto the withered grass below.
"Careless. You will take better care of your hands. They are valuable."
He dropped a kunai and reached out to take her hand in his. There was a brief flash of green. She felt no different.
He released her now-unblemished hand, continuing to cup her chin with his other as he peered into her eyes once again.
"You resisted Tayuya's song. Impressive mental fortitude, then. That will be a valuable trait. Preserving your consciousness under psychic pressure will be important. Jirōbō, drop the wall."
The stone wall around them crumbled to dirt and fell to the ground around them. Clumps of it pelted Ren and Orochimaru.
The man with the strange, patchy-bald head stood on the ground now, on the opposite side of the dome. He immediately jogged towards them.
"Jirōbō," Orochimaru said. "You have grown sloppy. You ninjutsu must form and regenerate much faster. She had opportunities for escape."
The man, Jirōbō, bowed. "I will train it, master. It is not as if we have had many opportunities for field work recently. What shall we do with the chūnin?"
Her guards. They still stood transfixed as that distant flute song continued to play. She could see them blinking occasionally and sweating lightly. Which genjutsu could trap them all simultaneously and suborn their bodies, all through sound alone? That was akin to the Heartbreaker's work, but it didn't have her style.
Orochimaru glanced around the field. "Ordinarily, it would be wasteful to discard live captures in unharmed condition, but we have other priorities. Though, perhaps if they had bloodlines…"
He turned on Ren. "Who among them have bloodlines? Answer me honestly and swiftly, and I shall mix painkillers for your first two weeks of study."
Should she not deny him the answer? Let them die in peace rather than face the physical and mental unmaking that Orochimaru no doubt would perform upon their components? But she knew she could not keep answers from him forever. He had taken her defiance and left only her obedience.
"Girl, Yuki. Bun, Kozu," she said, her mouth feeling wooden and foreign as she moved it.
Immediately, guilt and shame ran through her. Mere seconds of Orochimaru's attention had turned her against her allies? Wasn't she a jōnin, the former Kage of her village? Wasn't she supposed to stand for everything that Mist was?
Ren flared her soul. Or rather, she tried to. It did not come.
Orochimaru glanced at her again and the steel ran her through. Fingers reached into her soul and found the thread of her love for Hidden Mist. The fingers pulled and the thread came free, ripping its strands loose from their deeply buried places in every single other part of her being. She screamed alone on that operating table before a monster that did not care.
Orochimaru turned away and scoffed. "I had meant to acquire a Yuki, though that investigation is no longer pressing. I have little need for a Kozu any more – though perhaps Kabuto will find it entertaining. Jirōbō– Ah, very good."
As if on cue, the eerie flute song ended, and her three allies dropped to the ground, instantly unconscious. The larger man, Jirōbō, swiftly walked over to one of the chūnin to lay his hands upon them.
The mysterious genjutsu user revealed herself. A cousin to the Heartbreaker? Her long, red hair was rougher somehow, her appearance notably less meticulous.
"Tayuya," Orochimaru said, gesturing loosely to the chūnin that Ren had not named. "Prepare him for Manda. A few extra gifts will ease that old oaf's complaints about traveling to Pangolin."
Tayuya walked to the chūnin's slumped over body and stretched him out. She carefully searched him for seals. Once they had all been removed, she summoned a thick burlap bag and eased him in stomach-down, tying the bag shut along its long, lengthwise slit. She stabbed him through the base of the skull, chanted a short count under her breath, then sealed the bag and body away.
Jirōbō had tied and gagged both bloodline chūnin and hoisted them one on each shoulder.
"Follow now," Orochimaru said, looking back into Ren's eyes. "On your feet. Tayuya dislikes the burden, and you would not survive Hebira's stomach."
As he spoke his command, somehow she knew she would obey. Not like a puppet, moving against her will. He would speak, and she would follow orders. It was what he had made her. It was what she was.
He turned south, towards Leaf. Ren followed, along with his two minions. The campsite was nearly untouched. The crumbling ninjutsu had nearly filled in the patch of ground near the Earth Eater seal, which would otherwise look like a half-dug latrine, and the rest of the camp simply looked like it had been abandoned during set-up. Of course, if anyone from Mist came in time to notice such details, they would notice Ren walking away on her own two feet.
"Why?" Ren asked.
Orochimaru shot her a glance, and she immediately knew that she would pay her curiosity as the price for this question. Orochimaru turned away from her. They continued to walk away from the campsite.
Orochimaru started to chuckle. It sounded like he was repeatedly hiccuping, choking on nothing but air.
"For most in your position, the answer would have been curiosity," he said, the barest hint of playful levity entering his voice. "However, the extradimensional monstrosity your ally will be fed to is no longer the most dangerous monstrosity on its Path. After decades, you will be the first to join a group with more members than you may realize. You will serve a noble cause, rather than only my interest. Kurosawa Ren, you ask why? Why, to save the world of course."
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Chapter 628: A Journey of a Thousand Miles Completed but for Two Inches
"Hey, question," Hazō said, as he looked up from skimming the various incredibly grim documents Mari had prepared for him. "Just checking: Naruto is going to get briefed on the various top-secret events and problems that have come up recently, right? I don't need to get involved?"
Mari raised an eyebrow. "No, I can't imagine any reason why you would need to. Tsunade is there to brief him on everything she's got, and apart from various things I'm not cleared to speculate on, he's almost certainly going to learn about runes and the O'uzu rift. The only project I can imagine you'd need to brief him on is the Dragons, for which there was no one else really in charge. Even for that, Asuma definitely is going to have left tons of notes for his successor, so while Naruto might call you in to ask some questions to get a better sense of the situation, I doubt he's going to need you to do anything proactive."
"Okay. I just don't want to screw up our relationship with Naruto in any way," Hazō said, "so just double checking—I really don't need to do anything with respect to the various classified pies I've got my fingers in?"
"No, Hazō," Kei said. "While Leaf did not learn from the Fifth's inconveniently-timed death, the Collapse appears to have been enough for them to institute proper transition-of-power rules. In all affairs, OPSEC as previously maintained by Lord Seventh continues, until Lord Uzumaki specifically orders otherwise."
"Right, so that probably covers the rift, and runes, and the Dragons, and Earthshaping... But I can imagine one thing that Asuma plausibly wouldn't have committed to paper. Perhaps Naruto should be informed about that?"
"Assuming your incredibly vague implication is in reference to the affair of which only us three, Shikamaru, and the ANBU trio are aware," Kei said, glancing at the walls to confirm the placement of the privacy seals, "I counsel you in the strongest terms to never speak of it again. Not to any of us within the OPSEC compartment, and especially not to Naruto. I can foresee no positive outcome from spreading this information even to the Hokage, and varying levels of pessimism lead to a range of negative outcomes ranging from merely catastrophic to apocalyptic."
"I'm not sure, Kei," Hazō said, shooting a look at Mari. "Hiding important information from the Hokage sounds like the type of treason that's gotten us in a lot of trouble before."
"That's gotten you in a lot of trouble before," Mari said. "But I think Kei's right. There's basically nothing actionable that Naruto can do and a lot of potential downside. We spent a ton of effort getting him elected, so let's not make him the new shortest lived Hokage if Akatsuki come knocking, yeah? If Shikamaru and the ANBU decide to brief Naruto—which seems incredibly unlikely to me—then he'll also know you're in the know. If they decide not to brief Naruto, it'll be because that's what's best for Leaf. I'm sure Shikamaru would be glad to confirm and explain why expanding the OPSEC compartment here is unnecessary. It's not that what Naruto doesn't know can't hurt him; not knowing is keeping him and Leaf safe."
"Got it," Hazō said, as he stood to answer a knock at the door.
"Hey bro, sis, sensei," Noburi said, sauntering into the room and unslinging his barrel in a motion with carefully-practiced carelessness that sent water sloshing right up to the barrel's lip. "Sage, you all look so grim. Talking big secrets?"
"Nothing so interesting," Kei said with a sigh. "Clan finances. Ami appears to have been delayed, but you may begin by reviewing this summary report."
Noburi sighed as he reached for the papers in the center of the small table.
o-o-o-o
"Hey Hazō!" Ami said as she bounced into the room. "Sorry, didn't end up catching you this morning! Congrats! You got Naruto elected!"
"We did," Hazō said, quickly standing to return her hug. "I mean, yes, the last second swing with the Amori and Motoyoshi was my idea, but that doesn't mean that it was me alone that got him elected. Mari identified the opportunity with the Kurusu, you did your thing with the Sarutobi, Naruto did something to the Minami..."
"Nah," Ami said. "The jutsu trade to Amori and Motoyoshi was probably the only way to win those two over. I mean, it's definitely an idea—Naruto probably thought of it and decided against it early then never revisited until you brought it up again, Sasuke would never come up with it, and Sakura evidently wasn't bold enough to suggest it when Naruto was staring at a nigh-certain electoral loss. I was gonna bring it up with him if no one else did, but it's better that you did first."
"Then what do you mean I got Naruto elected?" Hazō asked.
"Tsunade," Ami said. "I know she needs basically infinite money and you have basically infinite money, but I wasn't expecting her to sell out her sacred duty to select the best Hokage for the Land of Fire for cold cash. I guess I thought she was more principled than that, which in retrospect was completely stupid. Luckily we never had any illusions about the other clans.
"Imagine it, Hazō. Naruto leading the race, nine-to-eight, then Tsunade stands and votes Akimichi. What happens in a tie? Naruto probably wins a duel, even nonlethal, maybe even if he doesn't start with his clones out. But the situation's not the same as Hyūga against Asuma—instead, there's a reigning Hokage, and what better way to break the tie than to ask the current and rightfully elected Hokage who their preferred successor is?
"All the others were morally flexible enough that we could have moved them with enough force. We did move them all in the end except the Aburame—and I still don't know why Shino was so oddly hostile towards me. Still, you surprised me with Tsunade, and we got the win as a result. Good work, Hazō."
"Well," Hazō said with a grin, "I'm not going to refuse the praise. You don't think Tsunade picked Naruto because she actually thinks he's going to be the better Hokage?"
Ami laughed. "After her last two weeks, I think she'd have the practical experience to realize that strength isn't the main thing that makes a Hokage good or bad. Nah, we wanted Naruto because he's got vision and we know him better, not because he'd be the better leader."
Hazō sighed. "He'll grow into it."
"He will," Ami agreed. "Anyway, we were going to figure out a way to cover the debt you've found yourself in with Tsunade?"
"Yeah," Hazō said. "Mari, do you want to give the high-level summary?"
"Right. Short-term, we're fine. We have barely enough cash to cover our operating expenses on a razor-thin margin, plus all debt payments."
"Debts?" Hazō asked. "I thought we weren't in debt."
"Not in big debt," Mari said. "We did take out loans to get ourselves that razor's edge above the line where our people go hungry some nights, but there just aren't that many people that can quickly offer loans of the amounts we were throwing around. It doesn't help that most of those people were also spending their money like water."
"Like the Hyūga trying to buy the Kurusu?" Hazō asked.
"Strictly speaking, after doing some recon, the Hyūga weren't trying to buy the Kurusu, per-se," Mari said. "They offered a similar payment as I did not to get the Kurusu to vote for Ritsuo, but to 'free the Kurusu to vote their conscience'. The Kurusu are one of the more conservative clans, so I guess they figured that even if the Kurusu voted Akimichi, once Akimichi was eliminated, those votes would pass on to Hagoromo? But yeah, their deal wasn't prescribing any particular vote.
"Anyway, we can get into the medium-term. Our income is enough to cover the minimum loan payments, but ideally we scale that up fast with gemstones. Those loans were made fast on terrible terms, so we should clear them ASAP even if they're small. Plus, I emptied out Gaku's estate-construction fund since you clearly weren't going to use it, and I also appropriated the Ministry's coffers. I figure what the investors don't know can't hurt them, but I'd like to get that refilled to the appropriate level before someone comes looking for their missing cash. I've asked Gaku to pause any non-core expenses until we get some breathing room in our budget—that means no till-n-fills, no Ministry missions or road-building, though he convinced me that the GED was cheap enough that we could keep that. If we were any other clan, we'd be impoverished for a decades after this, but instead, I think we'll probably be back to normal in a month or six, depending on how fast we sell off the gemstones."
"Got it," Hazō said, mentally adjusting his expectations of the clan finances. "So we're broke and shouldn't spend too much money, and we should try to increase our income? Because I have some ideas for that."
Noburi shuddered and Ami handed Kei a fifty-ryō piece.
"What's that, Ami?" Hazō asked. "Betting against me?"
Ami sighed, shaking her head. "I thought you'd stick with the gemstones to cover your various debts, not come up with another economy-breaking idea. Hats off to you, of course."
"Before you make your pitch," Mari said, "we only have two substantial long-term debts. We fronted a big cash payment to the Kurusu, but it was only a tiny fraction of our overall debt."
"What happened with the Kurusu anyway?" Noburi asked. "I thought we were only paying them a small amount of our overall cash?"
"The Hyūga found out about the deal I set up with the Kurusu," Mari said, "and like I said, matched our offer and then some to free up the Kurusu's vote, knowing that the Kurusu would lean towards non-Naruto candidates. The Hyūga's amount was pretty high—all-in-all, it was more cash than we could possibly have scraped together. The Hyūga were probably betting that we wouldn't be able to outbid them. Unfortunately, the Hyūga are rich in assets as well as cash, so I couldn't just outbid the Hyūga with gemstones or other assets, or else the Kurusu would just go running to the Hyūga to outbid us back, and then we'd have a whole back-and-forth. We'd win in the limit of time, but who knows who would have the more convincing offer on the table come sun-up. I needed to make a single offer that they couldn't refuse. For better or worse, it was that."
"I see," Noburi said. "So we're richer than the Hyūga now?"
Mari laughed. "If the Hyūga spent the amount we did, they'd need to sell massively or live in the poorhouse for a decade. We'll probably bounce back from these absurd debts within a few months thanks to Hazō. Speaking of which, the payment for the Kurusu will be nominally given as absurdly oversized mission payments during our conquest of Honey that I expect you to have some more bright ideas for."
"Relatedly," Kei said, "in case there was any doubt, I regret to affirm that my preparatory studies for our mission to the Eastern Continent last year contained information on Honey, including that it is currently home to a number of reasonably strong and fiercely territorial ninja clans."
"We'll burn that bridge when we get to it," Mari said. "We promised a minimum payout of mission payments to the Kurusu so they won't get screwed if the Honey plan goes sideways—meaning that their only incentive is to make sure it goes well so they earn even more money—but they weren't willing to take our word for granted."
"Reasonable," Noburi said. "Our finances have been kinda crazy at times—the bank run springs to mind. I wouldn't trust us either if we said we'd make some crazy high payment at some far-off point in the future."
"Anyway," Mari said, "I had to give the Kurusu a giant chest of gemstones to hold as a bond until we made our guaranteed minimum payment. I don't know exactly why they're so cash squeezed, especially after they bailed us out after the bank run, but if I had to guess, they're not going to sit on the gemstones. They'll sell them off for cash that they can use in the meantime, then buy them back if or when we make the minimum payment."
"Definitely when," Hazō said. "Like I said, I have ideas. The other debt is to Tsunade?"
Mari nodded. "Yep. You promised half our income from the gemstone trade in the next year. I note that this is not actually a number, and if our gemstone income is zero, then we don't need to pay Tsunade anything."
Noburi winced. "She really wouldn't like it if we weaseled out of the debt that way."
"Tell me about it," Mari said. "If you want a pissed-off Tsunade that doesn't want to make any more deals with us, that's a way to go about it. She probably wouldn't do anything to retaliate though, as long as we stuck to the letter of the deal."
"Okay," Hazō said. "We can sell off the gemstones, which will help. If that's not enough, I can use Earthshaping to drain old or abandoned mines. I could pretty easily get tons of iron ore to sell to the Tower or Leaf's blacksmiths. Plus, if I can do it with iron, I can probably do it with gold or silver. If I dug a bunch of gold and silver ore out of the ground, could we get it smelted into metal and have the Tower mint it into coins?"
Kei blinked once. "Ah, your newest idea. With iron ore a relatively common good, I am uncertain if the quantities you produce will be sufficient to offset our various expenses. We can certainly arrange the smelting of gold and silver, most likely even in-house, and the Tower will indeed mint coins for a minor seigniorage. Depending on quantities, this could restore our financial stability very quickly and efficiently."
"I suppose I'll go look at buying up some exhausted gold and silver mines, then?" Mari asked. "Or, at least tell Gaku to do it."
"Yes," Hazō said. "Start by finding the locations of a bunch of them, ideally close to Leaf. I'll go there quietly and run a quick Earthshaping jutsu to see how much metal we're likely to get, then we buy the ones that are most worth it."
Mari nodded. "Unfortunately, even 'unproductive' gold mines won't come cheap—I bet no one buys an exhausted gold mine unless they have some clever idea for how to get more gold out of it. Still, I'll see what Gaku can do."
"I note the OPSEC risks here," Kei said. "Let us set aside the fact that Leaf will very quickly realize how consistently we bandied about gemstones to turn the election in our favor. An observer that sees the Gouketsu first buy up a lot of abandoned mines, then commission many smiths to smelt an implausible amount of ores, then pay the Tower to mint a ridiculous amount of coinage may make certain inferences—or conduct minor-tier espionage that will quickly yield answers, given our loose OPSEC around Earthshaping thus far."
Hazō waved a hand. "Like Mari said, we don't need to burn those bridges now. Let's cover our debts and worry about all that later. I think we should be able to get all the money we need that way. If that's the case, can we skip crashing the gemstone market? I'd like to avoid screwing our relations with the Hyūga. Maybe the price of raw materials going down will improve their margins? Or maybe we can warn Hinata that the prices are going to crater? If she made the deal to shift the Hyūga closer to us, burning the deal is going to make it much harder for her to liberalize."
"Mmm," Ami said. "Hazō, the gemstone market is going to crash no matter what. The Kurusu have all the gemstones they need to do it alone, and so does Tsunade, and neither of them strike me as the type to make very modest financial decisions."
"You gave Tsunade an economically disruptive quantity of gemstones?" Kei asked.
Hazō shook his head. "No, I didn't give her that much. Only a gallon, probably. Maybe a little more."
"A gallon of gemstones!?" Kei asked. "You expect this not to be economically disruptive?"
"That's probably similar to what I gave the Kurusu," Mari said. "Yes, Hazō, that's going to be plenty to crash the Land of Fire's market with plenty leftover for other countries if either of them can authorize missions to sell on their behalf. These are top quality gemstones, and some of the stones are larger than I think is naturally possible. I don't know how Tsunade would do it with no go-between, but I'm confident the Kurusu have the connections and manpower to sell pretty much wherever we could sell."
"Could we warn Hinata?" Ami said. "Yeah, we probably should. We could probably try to get them to agree to cancel the deal—for example, by paying them back however much they paid you for the gemstones in the first place. I don't buy the story in which this helps them out, though. We knew they were getting screwed when we started spending money on the election. Really, it's not that big a deal to make your political enemies sweat, Hazō. Or would you try this hard to keep your trade partners happy if it were the equally conservative middle-aged Lord Kyousho, instead of the cute teenage Hinata?"
"I probably wouldn't be trying to help them if it weren't Hinata," Hazō admitted. "But that's mostly because we already have rapport that I don't want to damage. I don't know Lord Kyousho at all."
"Fair," Ami said. "Anyway, it'd be ideal if we could have everyone sell gemstones slowly enough that the market just doesn't crash. Mari, is there any way we could work with Tsunade and the Kurusu to do that? Then we also don't need to worry about getting in on the action ourselves."
"Is there a reason why that's something we need to worry about?" Noburi asked.
Mari sighed. "Well, we still have some big questions left unanswered about who we sell to and where. I can only be in one city at a time, and we don't really have anyone else that could reasonably make such deals in a discreet way—something which is necessary not just for OPSEC, but also to avoid making enemies of the continent's wealthy and powerful who will want to know why a fair few of their most valuable assets lost most of their value. Haru could probably hack it with the bits and pieces of training I've been giving him, but he'd probably leave a lot of value on the table or leak information. We're not going to be able to coordinate our selling effectively enough to make the profit we were originally planning to."
"Again, I note that it would be ideal for the market to not crash in the first place," Kei said. "The economic factors here are complex beyond my ability to model, and there is considerable opacity around one key question: namely, just how much of the continent's stored wealth is stored in the form of gemstones. Needless to say, if the continent's rich and powerful find their coffers massively diminished, they will react in only one way—by squeezing their civilians harder until the deficit is resolved. Perhaps it will not cause any problems. If it does, I expect the consequences will range between slightly greater-than-average misery for the average civilian for several years, to a potential broader economic crash."
"Plus," Ami said, "people could see it as economic warfare, and that would be destabilizing to AMITY. After the death of Lord Seventh, we need all the stability we can get, so that's another reason to avoid any extreme crashes."
"Unfortunately," Mari said, shooting a skeptical look at Ami, "I don't see any good way to keep them from selling—even an order from Naruto wouldn't stop Tsunade, who will do as she pleases and point to the thousands dying from sickness as her reason. Though... we could ask Naruto to request the Kurusu and Tsunade to sell slowly? He could use Tower resources to arrange the trades the same way Asuma offered to do for you, Hazō."
Kei nodded slowly. "That would address many of our problems. Tsunade would prefer to let the Tower handle the details rather than determine the course of action herself. The Kurusu would likely prefer to sell quickly, although they will not make themselves the first to disobey the new Hokage. If the markets do not crash as a result of everyone rapidly disgorging their gemstone stores, then we could sell our gemstones as well, thereby clearing our debts and making the profits we promised Tsunade, and the Hyūga would not suffer as a result of our actions. The ripple effects would be minimized."
"That sounds pretty ideal," Hazō said, nodding. "What are the risks?"
"Naruto doesn't okay it," Mari said, counting on her fingers. "Commander-operative problems where the people sent on the missions pocket some of the gemstones or cash. Tsunade decides to do her own thing. The prices still decline, and the Hyūga still feel screwed. Someone else, probably in Hidden Rock, discovered how to produce gemstones in secret, and they crash the market when they realize we got in on their operation. There are probably more if I spent more than five seconds thinking about it."
"Okay," Hazō said. "Then, what's the plan?"
Mari raised an eyebrow. "All me, huh? First, try to get an advance on the Arachnid silk to sell to the Meiori within the week. That should get us off the razor's edge in our budget to only be partially screwed if someone tries economic warfare against us—because if someone tried right now, we'd be totally screwed. Fucked, even. Second, try to get Naruto to request Kurusu and Tsunade to sell off our gemstones slowly, via Tower intermediaries. If he approves, do that until we've covered all our debts. If he doesn't, we have me or Ami run off to Lightning and destroy their gemstone market, slurp up all the cash, and come back here to clear our loans, restore our coffers, and pay off Tsunade. Third, wait till Gaku finds mines and you can do your thing. Fourth, figure out what to do about Honey at some point. Does that have your approval, my lord?"
"Why don't you talk to Kagome about getting that silk advance and arrange that deal yourself?" Hazō asked. "We should try to get that buffer as soon as we can. As for everything else, I'll need to think about it and check over all the details. I'll let you know."
Mari sighed. "I'm supposed to be an infiltrator, not an accountant. Why don't you bring Gaku into these clandestine meetings instead of me?"
Hazō clicked his tongue at Mari. "Enough complaining. Now, you," he said, turning to Ami. "Why don't we talk about some of these 'election expenses' you put on the budget? For example, let's start with this deluxe hot springs and spa treatment for the entire staff of a KEI division..."
o-o-o-o
On the Seventh Path, underneath the umber skies of the Pangolin Clan, Hazō could feel tension in the air. He couldn't articulate what it was, but as he trailed behind the pangolin guard's lumbering stride, he got the distinct impression that the world was a string drawn taut, waiting to jump at its release, or perhaps to violently snap.
Maybe it was the people. The last time he'd been here at the Conclave, it had been a bustling mercantile hub (at least, when the Gouketsu weren't causing incidents). There hadn't been the quantity of trades or hordes of customers that Hazō associated with Human Path markets, but the various clan representatives were generally gregarious and good-natured, giving things a lively atmosphere. Now, the few clan representatives he saw lingered in groups with only their own species, having hushed conversations that stopped as he passed by. He wondered whether the pangolin leader had finally swung the Conclave's opinion of Hazō for the worse.
Well, at least he wasn't being attacked on sight. The pangolin guard led him to a rather grand pangolin dome, then stopped at the doorway. Hazō paused for a second, then entered the dome. Inside, the Monkey King Enma held hands with an oversized porcupine, their heads both bowed as if in prayer. Enma glared at Hazō and jerked his head to show Hazō the exit.
Hazō backed out of the dome. The pangolin guard shot him an incomprehensible look and snaked out its length tongue to taste the air once, then continued to stare ahead into the middle distance.
Ten minutes later, the Monkey King came out of the dome and gestured Hazō to follow as he set off at a barely-a-walk that crackled with angry energy.
"Hello, Lord Enma," Hazō said as he fell in, opening his stride to keep up with the much taller Monkey King. He glanced back towards the decorated dome. "Where'd the porcupine go?"
"Summoned," Enma snapped. "First summoning, as it happens. Nice to see you too, Hazō."
"Right, yes. Sorry. Good to see you, Enma. Please forgive my absence the past couple weeks. It's been crazy in Leaf." He sobered. "On that subject: you have my condolences, sir. Asuma was a good man, and deserved better than he got."
Enma shook his head and waved a hand to push Hazō's words away. "Don't worry about it, runt, everything worked out fine over here. Well, almost. As for Asuma, I've been through my fair share of summoners. They all die. You all die. Short-lived little humans, dying every other day it seems. I expect his girl or someone else from his clan will be coming through Monkey sometime soon. They'll be cooling their heels a while, since I won't be there to actually form the contract for a few months yet."
Right. Enma was friendly enough with Hazō, but probably had no interest in grieving with a young human child. He seemed to be dealing with Asuma's death well enough, if 'well enough' meant 'not actively murdering or destroying anyone or anything'.
Enma seemed to read the thoughts off Hazō's face and chuckled darkly. "Oh, I promise I wasn't in the best mood when the porcupine girl came through to tell me about Asuma's death ten minutes after it happened. But given everything that happened, I just needed to deal with it fast. So keep it moving, runt. Let's talk Conclave."
"Of course, sir. So, what's the deal with this whole... thing?" Hazō said, gesturing vaguely at the oddly tense air around them.
"Nothing to worry about. Just what happens when you stuff a bunch of people with a country's worth of metaphysical weight and a Path's worth of ego in a room for six to eight hours a day. It's been like this all week, and it was worse when the real Conclave actually convened. I think the Condor Summoner nearly passed out when all the bosses fixed their attention on her."
"So all the Bosses made it into Pangolin with no issues, then?"
"Basically," Enma said. "I pressured that turtle boy into delivering Pantsā's demanded skytowers, and he managed to get it done within a few days." He shrugged, and his steps slowed slightly. "Well, mostly. Katsuyu only arrived yesterday, and Lutrō the day before. Cannai isn't here yet, but the condor scouts say he's on his way and should arrive today. Any minute, actually. Back on topic, Pantsā's agreed to not use the skytowers to attack any member of the Conclave, and to not use them to attack anyone at all except with the agreement of half the Conclave's members. Hopefully it never comes to that—outside maybe needing to steamroll Hyena or Cat so we can actually get everyone to Arachnid."
"Wait," Hazō said. "We're getting everyone to Arachnid? The Bosses all signed on? Everyone agreed to work together and do battle against the Dragons? How did that happen?"
Enma grimaced. "Last question first: my plan caught fire and died after Asuma bit it and you flew the coop, but I still gave my testimony about the Dragons existence, and luckily the Condor Summoner was around to give hers in parallel. Little Oro even showed up to show off one of the Dragons' teeth and scales—and I think that creeped out the Bosses more than any of the shit I told them."
"How did he show off the scales and teeth?" Hazō asked. "He's been off on a mission, not in Leaf."
"I don't know, he didn't stick around long enough for me to ask. He seemed pretty rushed, and disappeared as soon as he had answered the bare minimum number of questions. As for your main point: I don't have everyone's agreement, I have everyone's conditional agreement."
Hazō groaned. "Let me guess, Pantsā holding everything up again?"
"Everyone has provisionally approved of the terms of a contract—that we will journey to Arachnid in order to do battle against the Dragons, and that there will no infighting or attempts at conquest until, first, the Conclave collectively agrees no further action on their part will substantially reduce the risk associated with the Dragon threat, and second that everyone returns to their territory and at least a month passes. Problem is, everyone has agreed to a contract that is only binding if all thirteen bosses sign on. The current joiners? Myself, Yamaraja, Gamabunta, Kamehameha, Katsuyu, Manda, Hyōhakken, Lutrō, Nezha, Markimarku, Hidrodobune. We expect Cannai to be onboard or he wouldn't be coming. Who's missing?"
"Pantsā," Hazō said. "And Conjura."
"Right. So Conjura obviously doesn't show up, because if she does Pantsā will try to kill her. Needless to say, Pantsā is never going to give his word that he wouldn't hurt her, and even if he did, she might not even trust him. So Conjura isn't a part of the pact. That means that Pantsā can't afford to leave his territory if there's a risk that Conjura shows up and wrecks the place in the several months that he's going to be gone, as she's been trying to do weekly for the past few years. And of course, given the fact that Pantsā is who he is, no one wants to leave for several months while he's left to twiddle his thumbs right next to their plump, juicy territory—and like they say, trust your neighbors but lock your doors. No one wants to risk everything they have on the belief that Pantsā would keep his word when faced with the possibility of ruling literally half the continent.
"So we're in a deadlock until we can get Conjura to sign on, since there's no other commitment she could make to not attack Pangolin that Pantsā would find credible—and even that may not be enough, given that her specialization could let her defect in an eyeblink while the rest of us are months away from being able to retaliate."
"Right," Hazō said, dipping his head and pinching himself between his eyes. "So, Pantsā is holding everyone up and we need to convince him that his land will be safe from Conjura without him here. One way is by getting Conjura to come with, but unless we get Pantsā to agree, then the Crusade is dead in the water."
"You got it," Enma said. "I figure we got like a week and a half more, tops, before the other Bosses get antsy or bored and start doing stuff. Katsuyu already started off towards Arachnid, bless their heart, but the others? Gamabunta might just head back home and call it a scratch, and Nezha might start some well-intentioned but very foolish plot to 'save the Condors', and... well, everyone here is accustomed to doing what they want and getting their way. That's only gonna be stable for so long.
"I already sent the Condor summoner off to find Conjura. We're making two promises there. First, that she can claim the former Archaeopteryx island and settle whichever of her people that she's freed there if she agrees to the Crusade. Second, that if she has outstanding contributions to the defeat of the Dragons, that she'll be able to pressure Pantsā into committing to freeing her people with the assent of a dozen bosses backing her. Will that be enough? I don't know.
"Last intel I heard was that Conjura was up in the mountains in Hyena, but I dunno if she's still there. Not hard for her to move around when she needs to, of course. If you have any clever ideas—and I wouldn't call meeting her in-person a clever idea unless you're feeling good about staring death in the face—now would be a good time for it. If we get Pantsā's agreement, we can come down on the Dragons with the force of over a dozen Clan Bosses. Given that we don't just need to win, but need to win with no casualties, this feels like basically our only chance to make the Crusade happen."
"I can do clever ideas," Hazō said. "Maybe. Instead of getting Pantsā to sign on, could we figure out some way to make the other bosses not feel threatened by him, so they can just do the Crusade without him?"
Enma shrugged. "If there were a way to do that, it would work. Pantsā is strong, but he's not critical. Whether he's with the Crusade or just can make a credible enough commitment against defection that the other Bosses are willing to go along with it doesn't matter. As long as we get an agreement—" He broke off, both he and Hazō turning as a Presence rolled over them.
Thirty yards away, Cannai was loping towards them, muscles rippling under brindled fur. A sense of solidity and immutable existence rolled off of him like heat from a fire.
"Did not expect that," Enma muttered. "When I said 'any minute now' I was thinking a few hours, not literally two minutes.
"Cannai!" he called, moving towards the other Clan Boss with a wave and a hearty tone. "Glad to see you again. It's been a minute."
"Enma," Cannai said, coming to a halt in front of them. "A pleasure to see you again as well. And I believe it has been a bit more than one minute." His jaw dropped open in a doggy laugh.
Enma rolled his eyes. "It's an expression."
"I'm aware. I was pulling your tail." His eyes shifted and he nodded. "Hazō."
"Alpha," Hazō said, maintaining an equally solemn tone even though a hint of a smile crept across his face.
"Seriously," Enma said, "thank you for coming. We need the solidarity."
"I had a feeling," the massive dog said, a faint lift of his ears and tilt of his head the equivalent of a human's amused smile. "'World-destroying monsters who have already consumed one Clan' seemed like the sort of thing we might want to work together on."
"You're not wrong there. Let's get you settled in, a bite of something tasty and a sip of something—" He broke off with an annoyed huff as a titanic thump shook the ground hard enough to make Hazō stumble. A sense of Power rolled over all of them like a subsonic growl.
"Hey there, 'bunta," Enma said, turning to the building-sized Toad Boss that had just now jumped in next to them. "Have you met Cannai?"
"Huh," the enormous toad grunted. He reached into his robe and pulled out a pipe. He put it to his lips and drew, then blew out a cloud of smoke even though he hadn't visibly done anything to light the pipe. "Dog Boss, eh? Felt you coming in. Younger'n I thought."
Cannai looked up at the enormous toad and tutted. "Still doing the giant-form thing? I had thought that a bit passé. Very well." He looked over to Hazō. "Several of my previous Summoners have mentioned an idiom from the Human Path. Something about being told to jump and asking how high?"
"Huh?" Hazō said, surprised. "Uh, yeah. Sure. What about it?"
"Stand in front of me. Face Gamabunta and jump straight up. High as you can."
Hazō blinked, shrugged and did as he was bid. Just as he reached the top of his arc, Cannai thrust his head forward under Hazō's feet and grew.
And grew.
And grew.
Hazō wobbled as the furry footing beneath him stretched and shifted. He managed to keep his balance with only a little bit of windmilled arms and moments later he was standing atop Cannai's broad skull as the Dog stood eye-to-eye with Gamabunta.
"A pleasure to meet you, Boss Gamabunta," Cannai said, his voice so deep it seemed to come from beneath the earth. "I have heard positive things about you from prior Summoners."
Gamabunta grunted sourly. "I heard about you secondhand from Jiraiya. Stories about that kid Kakashi." He sniffed. "Way I heard it, he had a bunch of little bitty dogs that followed him around."
"Pakkun, Bull, Urushi, Shiba, Bisuke, Akino, Ūhei, and Guruku," Cannai said. "Originally they were all from different packs, except for Pakkun and Urushi who were both Verdant Valley pack. After being Kakashi's summons for a few years they left their original packs and formed one of their own. Good dogs all, and worthy fighters. I'm sure you acknowledge that Kakashi would not have accepted unfit warriors?" He paused briefly. "You do recognize Kakashi as an exemplar among ninja, yes?"
"Hmph. Didn't hold a patch on my Jiraiya."
"Kakashi spoke of Jiraiya in glowing terms, and aspired to be like him," Cannai said gravely. "Kakashi was less than half Jiraiya's age so it's unsurprising that he hadn't reached that goal, yet I believe Kakashi has a few stories told about him. Is that correct, Hazō?"
"Yes sir," Hazō said, struggling to keep the nervousness out of his voice. The air felt charged, pervaded with a pre-thunderstorm scent that had every hair on his arms standing up. "He was a legend. One of the youngest elite jōnin on record. Perhaps even S-rank, although that's an informal term and not an official military rank. His name is in our history books and is going to stay there. Alongside Jiraiya's, of course."
Gamabunta paused, then grunted a reluctant, "Sounds fair." He paused again. "Felt you spraying your Presence everywhere as you came in, dog."
"Merely pressing back that which hangs in the air," Cannai rumbled. His jaw dropped open and he panted amusement. "It was making my tail itch."
Gamabunta barked a laugh. "I suppose there's enough of us here that it gets a bit thick. Welcome to the party."
Cannai nodded his head slightly, careful not to spill Hazō off. "I look forward to the two of us fighting side-by-side against that which threatens both our clans."
"Shinsei Dog," the massive toad said, nodding with grudging politeness. He glanced down at the small figure standing between them and off to one side. "I see that Enma's here to get you settled in. If you'll excuse me, I need to go break up Ma and Pa's latest spat before they start breaking stuff. And people."
"Shinsei Toad," Cannai said. "Hazō has told me of those two. I appreciate you volunteering to prevent the utter destruction of the Conclave."
Gamabunta laughed again, nodded to the other two Bosses, and leaped away.
"That was exciting," Hazō said once he was sure the huge toad was out of earshot.
"Indeed," Cannai said, shrinking back to his normal size. Hazō politely jumped off partway down.
"What was that 'Shinsei' thing?" Hazō asked. "At first I thought it was an insult but then you said it back."
"Just the reverse," Cannai said. "It is an old word. It means 'true, pure, the essence of'. Something like that." He shook his head. "Human culture and language changes so quickly. It is always a shame to find that certain words have fallen out of use."
"Yeah, well, my stomach has fallen out of use," Enma said. "C'mon, both of you. Let's get some food and a cup of sake. Cannai, I'll read you in on everything as we walk."
Author's Note: This chapter was 99% written by @Paperclipped. I added the scene with Cannai arriving and tweaked a few words here and there but it's basically his.
Mari vetoed having Kagome and Ami in the same room for at least another six months, more realistically two years, assuming socialization efforts proceed as normal. Kagome is also occupied with sealing research.
If Hazō approves of Mari's plan, you can include a line in the next action plan "Tell Mari to execute her plan for the clan's finances." Otherwise, you should write-in what you want to do. If you don't put in anything, Hazō will tell Mari not to do anything yet. Please remember that the NPCs can make mistakes, and their suggestions aren't necessarily infallible.
When Hazō tries making Shadow Clones tomorrow, they'll be able to do non-physically-demanding tasks without popping.
Work at the hospital is dying down, so Noburi will resume reading the various medical notes Orochimaru gave you.
The Conclave continues. The Bosses in attendance are:
Enma (Monkey)
Pantsā (Pangolin)
Yamaraja (Porcupine)
Gamabunta (Toad)
Kamehameha (Turtle)
Katsuyu (Slug)
Manda (Snake)
Cannai (Dog)
Markimarku (Mara)
Lutrō (Otter)
Hidrodobune (Capybara)
Nezha (Rat)
Hyōhakken (Leopard)
XP AWARD: 4
Brevity XP: 1
"GM had fun" XP: 2
I've been wanting to write that 'Cannai gets huge' scene since he first appeared on screen
Hazō has spent most of the day at the Conclave helping Cannai get settled in and doing various minor bits of politicking under Enma's guidance. He is now back at the estate and it is about 6pm.
Hazō stood next to the hot chocolate vault, studying the letter in his hands warily. Ami wasn't a letter person. If she had something to say, she preferred to drop in on him unexpectedly, or maybe send a brief, mischievously-phrased note. There was only one reason for her to send–no, to leave–a letter now. It would not have boded well even if it hadn't been delivered by a Kei currently too traumatised to answer questions. Hazō didn't want to read it and thereby place a seal of finality on whatever was inside.
Was that irresponsible of him? Almost certainly. But the Gōketsu had just won on the most troublesome of all possible battlefields, that of Leaf politics. They'd challenged forces that would keep this world in stasis until it finally collapsed back into war, just because that was all the older generation had ever known, and the victory set those forces back by decades. Assuming the Eighth Hokage didn't die within a couple of years of his accession like the Fourth, Fifth, Sixth, and Seventh, by the time of the next Hokage election the world would simply look too different for the Hagoromo's flailing or the Hyūga's machinations to matter.
Couldn't Hazō be allowed to luxuriate in this victory for just a few days before the headaches began again?
If Kei wasn't currently collapsed at the kitchen table next to an untouched mug of hot chocolate, she would surely have laughed at his innocence.
Hazō braced himself and opened the letter with a flick of a blade.
Dear Hazō,
If you are reading this, then I am already dead.
The letter opener fell blade first and sank into the floorboards.
Hazō must have misread. That sentence didn't say what it seemed to say. Long hours wrestling with incalcitrant financial documents in poor lighting must have tired out his eyes.
A choked sob came from the kitchen table. About half an hour ago, in the middle of the night, Snowflake had brought Kei in and all but shoved her into Hazō's arms. Hazō had tried to ask her what happened before she dispelled herself, but the expression on her face, an unnameable mix of agony and fury, had been enough to silence him before any words emerged. Kei had been unresponsive since, stirring only once to pull out the letter and slide it across the table.
Forget reading; his sister was his priority, and once she calmed down, she'd be able to explain what happened anyway.
Hazō took a seat next to her.
"I'm here, Kei. I'm here. I've got you. Whatever's happened, we can deal with it together."
Eventually, Kei gave a weak nod.
"Do you want to talk about what happened?"
"I betrayed her," Kei whispered. "I betrayed her… and now she is gone forever."
At least half of that was impossible, and Hazō nearly opened his mouth to say so, but then he remembered the inexplicable burst of wisdom that had turned a potentially ugly confrontation with Minami Nikkō's mother into several cathartic cups of tea together. When someone you cared about was (possibly) grieving, you shut up and listened.
"Tonight was the promised night," Kei said. She spoke slowly, with pauses, as she tried to gather herself. "Ami's first use of the technique. She had learned from my fiasco, and had reasons of her own besides. She went alone. I failed to follow.
"Hazō, I should have demanded to attend! What kind of sister am I? What if I could have achieved a better outcome? If just this once I had defied her…"
Kei broke off. She looked at the mug, then away, as if she were unworthy of even this basic consolation.
"It's OK, Kei," Hazō said. "There is nothing wrong with trusting somebody who usually knows what they're doing."
"It is not 'OK'!" Kei exclaimed. "It was my selfishness that blinded me to her needs. It was my infantile overreliance on my deity! I knew that prioritising my safety was her one flaw!
"Instead," Kei said more softly, "I was useless. By the time she arrived at my door, it was already too late.
"Hazō, I spent every possible moment of my childhood with her. I witnessed her empyrean heights and her abyssal lows. Every gradient in between. I had never seen her in this state.
"Her words were halting, yet too fast. Singularity had perceived something. In the instant of her birth, she made some deduction. Some insight far beyond even Ami's reach. Some realisation of transcendent importance. Ami insisted that she needed to depart at once. She needed to act before the insight faded because Singularity might not be able to recover it."
Hazō had a dozen questions, but Kei had closed her eyes tight, and this was not the time.
"She asked me to leave with her. She did not explain. I am uncertain if she was capable of a satisfactory explanation. In any case, she refused to attempt one, for reasons unclear to me.
"Hazō, she asked me to leave with her. She placed her trust in me and me alone. She invited me to accompany her on a quest worth suspending–at best–the entirety of her life and mine. A quest where if I did not support her, she would face unknown but surely dire challenges utterly alone. A quest I cannot even be certain was real and not the product of psychic undefined behaviour, in which case she might require somebody to save her.
"Even then, she did not compel me. Is there any doubt that she could have convinced me? My trust in her is absolute. Instead, she permitted me to choose… and I betrayed her."
Kei opened her eyes and looked at him, her expression almost pleading, as if there was anything he could do to change the past.
"Hazō, what was I supposed to do? Was I to abandon Shikamaru to bend beneath a village's worth of burdens, now with an inexperienced Hokage to guide and protect? To leave the KEI without any of its leaders at a time of change? To remove the nascent queer community's only shield against abuse by those with power? To rob Tenten, whose Advocate I swore to be forevermore, and Miyuki, who had only just discovered her right to be loved as a woman, of the emotional home offered by my unworthy heart? To poison those still mourning Akane with another loss, this time without the promise of resurrection as an antidote? To deny Snowflake the future she deserved?
"Ami perceived it in my expression. She perceived it before I could offer a syllable of reply. She did not ask again. She simply transferred her contingencies to me and departed, promising me she would return one day if she could, an if neither she nor I possessed the data to evaluate. An if that surely will not come now that she is gone from the world we know. She did not even wait to speak to Snowflake–though I cannot say, matters being as they are, whether that was perhaps the wiser choice."
Hazō sat in silence, processing. Ami was gone. Just gone.
Loved ones disappeared. That was the shinobi world. It was foolish not to expect it. Immature, even.
Still, it was wrong, in a completely different way than the injustice that had been Akane's death. He'd invited Ami to become family, but provided no definition, for what definition could encompass all the possibilities of what they might be, might become to each other? Now he would never know her answer to that question. He would never offer her his own. He'd presented her with a new path to walk, and she'd finally taken the crucial first step, and now they would never find out where it led.
On top of that, he'd lost the only person who believed in him absolutely, without the need for fanaticism or even love. Absurd as that idea sounded to his own ears, when he inducted her into Project Necromancy, she took for granted that he would vanquish death as long as the necessary obstacles were cleared. When he told her he'd surpassed one of the world's greatest sealmasters at sixteen, her reaction was to tease him for still caring about the trivial title of special jōnin. When it came to grieving Akane's death, her response had been not to validate his feelings but to try to pull him back up where he belonged, out of the insidious trap of human weakness. Even as she waited impatiently for him to learn to play the game on her level, she already saw him as an equal, and expected as much greatness from him as she saw in herself.
"I suppose I should be grateful for the contingencies," Kei said, calming slowly, or at least ceasing to display emotion. "Implementing those she did not trust to automation, including decrypting the Mori ciphers used, will fill the time I cannot silence with my usual responsibilities. A metric ton of notes are earmarked for the Tower, both AMITY information and a variety of intel that slipped her mind when composing her reports to the Seventh. It should be justification enough to allow the Hokage not to declare her a missing-nin, together with the highly salient fact that stripping her of her AMITY protection would mean open season on her and the Leaf secrets in her possession.
"Hazō, you should… you should read your letter. It may contain urgent actionable information."
Kei collapsed again, head on her folded arms, and this time Hazō let her be.
Dear Hazō,
If you are reading this, then I am already dead.
Unless I'm not. Honestly, I just wanted to be dramatic one last time. Usually, I update my contingency letters at the end of the month, but last month's is very out of date with recent developments, and I'm about to do something very dangerous for the sake of power–must be Tuesday–so this one's special just for you.
Hopefully, you'll never read this letter. If you do read it, that means I'm no longer around to face the consequences, one way or another, so I can afford to break character a little.
I don't know, at the time of writing, what's about to happen. Kei's success means we're probably good for the really scary scenarios, but my relationship with the Frozen Skein isn't quite the same as hers. Much of it is just being really good at workarounds, like any Mori who makes it to jōnin but obviously better. The rest is… me. I don't know what's going to happen when the chains get taken off the part of me that was already the wrong shape to be chained. My liberated clone might be the transcendent being Kei sees in me, but for real. She might be dangerously broken inside. In the worst-case scenario, she'll be both.
Presumably, you have that answer. Either that, or there's an enormous crater and/or a smoking pair of sandals, in which case I'd appreciate it if you brought me back sooner rather than later. I'm planning to do what I assume Pain is doing and take over the afterlife settlement by settlement until I run into him and/or the Akatsuki rescue squad, or maybe get those settlements built myself if the afterlife denizens haven't been proactive enough. Look for the red flags of the Interdimensional Empire of Ami if you want to get to me first. (I figure the afterlife might not have dyes, but it'll have blood and cloth, and also I like the symbolism of you recognising me by all the red flags.)
If I'm not dead, I'm gone. Maybe that "transcendent but broken" thing happened and I decided I've become too much of a danger to my loved ones. If that's the case, trust my judgement and don't try to find me. More likely, the unchained brilliance of Ami was enough to come up with some sort of unprecedented uberplot, or maybe to recognise some Dragon-tier threat or opportunity from clues any sane person would miss. Whatever it is, I am literally unable to imagine it as I am now, much less predict why I would disappear without getting you involved.
If there's one thing I want you to believe, it's this. You're family. That's a choice I've made. Whatever the uberplot or the threat or the opportunity, your welfare is part of the calculations. Even if the price is leaving you to deal with the Dragons, Akatsuki et cetera without my support, I must believe it will be worth it to you in the long run. (Then again, who am I kidding? You're going to win anyway.)
I don't know what me being family means to you. I barely know what it means to me. Kei's been the centre of my life since forever. There was a time when she was my core, the thing that kept me me. There was never anyone else, since Ken and Yuri can go bleed in the Hundred Fins, and Grandpa Ryūgamine kept his distance emotionally for reasons I never understood, and no friend or lover I've tried has ever been worthy of worshipping at Kei's feet, much less managed to getme. So opening up that space to someone else, in a situation where I can't run away if things go wrong, has been terrifying. Not hurt-feelings terrifying. Existential-threat terrifying. I can make the world my Strategic Dominance board with no hesitation, but I had to be checkmated into taking your hand.
I'd never expected to want the nice things ordinary people get, much less have them within reach. Yes, I've always wanted to be like Kei, with her purity and her inner strength and the way she grows and all the other amazing virtues she doesn't see because she's too busy looking at me, but I never thought I could. It was a dream I didn't bother dreaming. Then you went and made one piece of that dream possible.
I should have taken your hand much earlier. We could have had time to be family, to find out what kind of weird and twisted structure these foundations could support. Now, I don't know when we'll have the chance.
There's one more thing on my mind for which this is the perfect, maybe the only time: the mystery of Gōketsu Hazō. Every other week, when I see you, you've switched your values and desires like drawing a new hand of cards. You want Orochimaru dead for what he is and does, and you wish you could be his apprentice. You try to invite Akatsuki to your home to be guarantors of peace the day after they murder your stepfather, then when they actually guarantee it, prepare to kill them because they're in the way. You look sick when you hear about innocents being slaughtered, then Jashin's high priest recognises you as its chosen. You reach for your biggest explosive when some bozo insults your sister (and well you should), and then when one of the most powerful forces in Leaf credibly threatens to destroy your clan, you just… forgive her. I'm Mori freaking Ami, the once-in-a-generation social genius with literally magical powers of data analysis, and even after all these years, every time I think I've got you figured out, you blindside me. I have plots lying fallow because they were tailored flawlessly to a Hazō I've never seen again.
But I know what it is to be insane, and you're not insane. I know what it is to be a plural being, and you're not one of those either. I know a whole bunch of weird stuff about identity from back when I was looking for more people like me, and none of it is a match for your behaviour.
There's just one thing that is.
A clan council you can't attend, in any village, is social spec hard mode. To outsiders, a clan council pretends to be of one mind, but it isn't a person. It isn't even a plurality. Its decisions swing between transformative genius, self-destructive nonsense, and mediocrity so concentrated it would poison a chakra honey badger. Any given one makes sense in context, but across time, they contradict like crazy depending who wants what and whom they can get on board and how much they can shape the detail of whatever's happening. If you want to understand the creature known as the clan council, genius isn't enough. All the data in the world aren't enough. You need to understand not just the individuals involved, but the dynamics between them and the balance of power on any given day, and until you do, the madness looks exactly like… this.
I have no idea how you got to be this way. Maybe you've had more Out exposure than you told me about. Maybe you were born different like I was, just a different kind of different. There was no safe way to ask you because I didn't know if you knew, and that's a can of worms big enough to be its own summon clan. Not everyone handles this kind of discovery with grace, or it could even be one of those things where you're about to forget you read these paragraphs, especially if we're dealing with the Out. The Mori know some pretty bloodcurdling stuff about that. But the good thing about a single letter is that it's a lot easier to forget than an entire Ami.
So whoever's reading this right now, the Ami says hi to you all.
…
...
...
Kei shot to her feet, knocking over her mug of cold chocolate.
"Hazō?! Hazō, what is it?"
Hazō blinked, and looked back down at the letter, where a dark brown liquid had just obliterated several paragraphs.
"Not sure. Some weird Ami joke, maybe? I actually can't remember, so I guess it can't have been important. Why do you ask?"
"Your expression was… unearthly," Kei said. "You were more at ease when I saw you the day of the hellstorm. I find it hard to credit that such a response could have been provoked by a trivial message."
"It was probably a trick of the light," Hazō said as he began to carefully mop up the spill with a cloth. "I mean... I'm not OK, given everything, but it's not like I'm reading a summoning scroll."
"Apologies." Kei stared mournfully at the affected area as if contemplating the proper penance for the sacrilege of erasing something Ami had written.
Hazō skipped over the gap in the text that had probably never mattered anyway, and read on.
One day, we will meet again. I choose to believe that. Maybe when we finally do, we can have a proper conversation.
Until that day, take care of my family. My siblings by the transitive property. My sister-in-law by the transitive property. My Maris. My whatever Kagome is willing to be to me. The extended family. And, of course, take care of Kei. You're the reason she took flight, and I trust you to take responsibility for the consequences.
Finally, let me seal this letter with true love's kiss: back when the Mori were sweeping up caches of forbidden lore, they never managed to get past the guardians of Yawata's maze on Crimson State Island. Instead, they added some obstacles of their own, buried the truth beneath the myth of the Forbidden Dungeon, and called it a day. If you can solve the puzzles and beat the bosses, its heart is yours for the taking.
"Thank you for taking the meeting, Ruri," Hazō said as he settled carefully onto the cushions. His back was healing under Tsunade's tender (hah!) care, but it had a long way to go and it still pulled uncomfortably if he moved wrong. Then again, the process itself was far more than uncomfortable, so perhaps a bit of stretchy pain wasn't so bad. Tsunade's healing methods consisted of using chakra scalpels to slice away thin strips of damaged skin so that she could then induce it to regrow cleanly. There was a sharp limit on how much regeneration she could cause in a short period ("at least, without screwing you up worse"), so it required repeated daily treatments over the course of weeks.
He shook himself away from the medical maunderings to focus on his hostess.
Kei Ruri, the Condor Summoner and possessor of a marvelous swollen lip and black eye, smiled back as she settled opposite him and poured the tea. The cups were equidistant between them, a positive sign. Hazō took one and toasted his hostess's health before sipping.
"This is lovely," Hazō said. He paused, then gained a sly expression as he added, "You're looking radiant this morning."
She laughed. "Hagoromo is looking a lot worse."
"I think that the Hokage's orders forbid me from reveling in delight at that fact," Hazō said regretfully.
"That's okay," Lady Kei said, toasting him again, "I'll revel for both of us. What can I do for you this fine day?"
"It's the Conclave, over on the Seventh Path. Specifically, is there any way that we can kick the bosses' massive asses into gear? We needed them in Arachnid months ago. Conjura seems to be the remaining lynchpin and I thought you would have some insight. How can I support you on this?"
She shook her head regretfully. "No idea. I've spoken with her, urged her to go. She refuses, and I can't blame her. Her people are enslaved and a huge part of them are rotting in the ground after being murdered by those scaly bastards. She's not going to lay a claw on Pangolin soil."
"What about not on their soil? Do it on the border. She stays on the far side."
"It was proposed," she said, nodding. "Nobody wants to play host because it means harboring and endorsing what Pangolin insists is a terrorist."
Hazō considered that. "Maybe not nobody," he said slowly.
o-o-o-o
The skies of Hyena were empty, until they weren't.
Conjura appeared without sound or light, merely snapping into existence above the gathered Clan Leaders. She circled once, surveying the area with all the caution of an experienced warrior, and settled neatly to the ground. She landed with one foot first, flipping her wings closed behind herself and standing tall. Her feathers, black with white accents, smoothed themselves even as the white ruff around her neck plumped out. Ruri emerged from the ruff to stand atop Conjura's massive head.
The enormous bird's body remained still as a seventy-foot granite statue, only her head pivoting as she made eye contact with each of the baker's dozen of not-so-minor gods who faced her. Then she turned, keeping the other bosses in her peripheral vision as she bowed to the ruler of the ground upon which Conjura stood.
"Lady Haiwarai," Conjura said, her voice neat and precise. "Thank you for hosting me."
"Lady Conjura," said the Hyena Boss, nodding politely. "You are most welcome on my lands this day."
Haiwarai was as tall as Conjura but far more massive, a triangular head atop a neck so thick there was no clear delineation between neck and shoulders. Her upper body was cords and slabs of heavy muscle leading back to rear legs that seemed almost spindly in comparison. Her fur was tawny on her belly, ranging to honey on her back, with sooty black spots scattered here and there. She looked like what she was: a lethal predator, one that none of the other Bosses would prefer to tangle with.
Especially not here, on her own lands.
Conjura turned to the other bosses, who remained on the Pangolin side of the invisible yet clearly-felt boundary that sliced down between Pangolin, Hyena, and Leopard.
"Lord Hyōhakken," she said to the Leopard Boss, who stood a dozen yards away in Leopard Territory. She turned back to the ones who waited in Pangolin. "Lord Enma. Lord Manda. Lord Gamabunta. Lord Markimarku. King Kamehameha. Lord Lutrō. Lady Yamaraja. Lord Nezha. Lady Hidrodobune. Lord Cannai." She studied all of them carefully, then looked to the towering hill of scales that waited silently.
"Pantsā."
The Lord of the Pangolins rumbled deep in his massive chest, the sound swelling into outright laughter before he finally said, "Conjura."
"I am here. I will listen to your petition."
Pantsā's scales rippled in anger. "I am no petitioner! You arrogant little—"
"AH, SUCH YOUTHFUL ENERGY! HOHOHO! PERHAPS, HOWEVER, EVEN YOUTH HAS ITS LIMITS! THIS MIGHT BE A TIME WHEN WE DO WELL TO SPEAK WITH THE MEASURED WISDOM OF AGE!"
Everyone winced at the painful volume of the Turtle King's words.
"If I may," Enma said, stepping forward. He was in his standard form, merely eight feet tall, allowing most of the other Bosses to tower over him like mountains. "It's simple enough: we all know that the Dragons exist. We all know that they've already exterminated one clan and decimated another. We know that they gain strength and powers with every Clan Ruler they defeat. We need to destroy them. We need to destroy them now, while they are at their weakest, and we need to work together to do that."
"My people are slaves," Conjura said. "Their wings are bound. They would be better off dead, and nothing that lives can catch me if I do not allow it. Unlike the rest of you, I have nothing to fear from these monsters. Why should I risk myself?"
"Where there's life, there's hope, My Lady," Ruri said from her perch high above the ground. "The condor prisoners can be freed if they're still alive. They could fly once more."
"And?" Conjura said. "Our homeland is overrun by these scaled beasts. Their word is worthless, and we would have our freedom for mere hours before they were back at our foothills."
"There could be a new homeland," said Enma. "The island of the Archaeopteryx lies fallow, eager to receive a new ruling Lady. It is wide, and green, with tall mountains that would make for excellent perches and caves for nests. There is abundant prey. And it is far away and across days of ocean that is the territory of the Shark Clan. Too far for any pangolin to reach."
Conjura snorted in disgust. "You wish me and my people to flee? To leave our lands to these invaders, these pillagers, these honorless scum who—"
"HOHOHO! PERHAPS A BIT LESS YOUTHFUL ENERGY AND A BIT MORE YOUTHFUL COOPERATION?"
Pantsā's long conical jaw clenched tight.
"It's not ideal," Enma said calmly. "But it's better than what you have. You and all your people could be free. You could have a lush, beautiful homeland that is impregnable against anything without wings. A homeland that, I ask your pardon, is even more beautiful than your original. I, Enma Farwalker, have seen both lands and most of what lies between. The place of Archaeopteryx is among the most beautiful ground on which I have ever been fortunate enough to set foot. I claimed a tiny pinprick atop the mountain in order to signal to any Ruler that might still remain; the spirit of the place was furious at being Called by one without wings. It fought against me, hard, even though I claimed only a tiny space and my intent was to relinquish the ground to a better Ruler as soon as I could. It wants you desperately, Lady. It doesn't know you, but it wants you. The land itself is broken and sad, and only you can heal it."
Conjura said nothing.
"My Lady," Cannai said, his voice deep despite being in his normal buffalo-sized form, "my lands are closer to the Dragons than those of anyone else present, and thus I am strongly motivated to make this deal happen. I will offer oath to you: Dog will host all of your people on their migration. You will want for nothing, and we will do all that we can to heal your spirits however long you choose to guest with us before continuing on. Further, we will stand as bulwark between you and any aggressor that might come for you. No enemy will pass through my lands to reach you unless every warrior of my Clan lies dead on the grass. Furthermore, should anyone try us, I will personally attack their territory and rend it from their grasping claws. I will bite out chunks from their soul and eat them like rich raw meat, and I will continue to do so until they or I are dead."
Silence pressed down on the gathered Rulers as they stared in shock at the comparatively tiny Dog Boss.
Cannai turned slightly to face them and swelled until he matched them in size.
"On this coast you apparently still place value on size," Cannai said calmly. "Thus I will speak to you in this form that you may know to take me seriously. The lands of Dog are vast, vaster I believe than those of anyone else present. Our numbers are large and we are far more flexible as a Clan than most of you. We have dogs who can fight jaw to jaw against any who come. We have dogs who can tunnel beneath an enemy and come up in their midst. We have dogs who can track across running water if need be."
He studied them, allowing his calm but ironclad spirit to stretch out around him; not looming, not threatening, merely standing unmoved and immovable. "For days now, I have spoken to each of you and learned the history of the eastern coast. I am not impressed. Dog is not impressed, and we will not be drawn into your squabbles. Come in peace to trade stories and share life; we will welcome you. If you cannot do that then stay on your side of the mountains." His enormous head swung. "Lady of the Hyena, Lord of the Leopard, as the other powers bordering the western side of the mountains, Dog offers you alliance. All Rulers must stand together now against the Dragons. Afterwards, Dog will stand beside you and help to guard your borders." He looked over to Pantsā. "All your borders, including those to the east."
Pantsā hissed faintly and his scales rippled furiously, but he said nothing.
"Getting back on topic," Enma said after a moment, "can we make this Conclave thing happen? Conjura, Haiwarai, if you agree to join the Conclave then we can go. All of us will travel together to the west, destroy the Dragons, and return. While we are gone, there is peace. Everyone's soldiers remain where they are. No fighting, no attacking. No prisoners are taken. Prisoners who have already been taken will be well cared for; no killing, no torture, good food and clean water to be provided in whatever amounts the prisoner requests."
Haiwarai considered that for a moment and then opened her jaws to speak, only to be run over by Conjura snapping, "Unacceptable! All your enslaved condors"—she paused and glanced at Haiwarai, clearly remembering that the war was ongoing here as well and the pangolins had shown a love of enslaving and breaking their enemies. "All prisoners of whatever species are to be freed and delivered to Hyena territory along with their possessions. All pangolins will be withdrawn from Condor or Hyena territory. The parts of Condor that have been stolen will be released."
"Insanity!" roared Pantsā of the Adamant Scales. "I have spent pangolin blood in righteous warfare against betrayers and thieves. I will not dishonor those fallen soldiers by reversing everything they died to accomplish!"
Conjura's wings mantled. "Fool! The blood of your people will be spilled just as surely when the Dragons arrive to eat your soul and drink your essence like a mountain stream. I ask nothing unreasonable—no reparations, no surrender of your own territory, no blood sacrifice, merely that which is mine! I knew this meeting was pointless. Ruri, take your seat. We are leaving."
"Wait!" called Ruri as Conjura's wings cupped to catch the air. The massive condor paused, cocking her head as though wishing she could look at the summoner who stood atop her head.
Ruri pulled something up out of Conjura's ruff, slung it across her back, and jumped. She slid down Conjura's wing and pivoted a neat spiral around the Boss's leg to reach the ground. She walked forward until she was certain she was on the Pangolin side of the border, and then she unslung the heavy iron box from her back. She flipped back the catch and turned it upside down so that the contents fell out on the ground.
The ground began to shriek the instant the Dragon scale touched it.
It was a small scale, perhaps the size of a large human hand spread wide. Its edges were ragged, clearly torn from a larger whole. It was black, oily, and the very air felt rancid around it. The grass died instantly beneath it and the area around it began to wilt, then blacken, then rot away in a slowly but visibly spreading circle.
"This is one scale of a Dragon, Lord Pantsā," Ruri said, looking up at the vast bulk of the Pangolin Boss, who was visibly struggling not to retch. "This is what it feels like to have the enemy's hangnail on your territory." She looked around at the other bosses. "You can all feel this, yes? These things will come for you, too. You can fight together or you can be consumed one at a time. I suggest you make whatever deals are necessary."
"Get that thing off my territory," Pantsā hissed. "You have made your point, human."
Ruri looked back at Conjura.
Conjura stood motionless, watching Pantsā.
"Get. It. Off," Pantsā commanded, standing tall.
Ruri looked to him, then back to Conjura. After a moment, the massive condor dipped her head slightly. Ruri pulled a pair of long iron tongs out of a storage seal and used them to wrestle the heavy scale back into its box. She slammed the lid and latched it, then set a foot on it and folded her arms.
The various bosses looked back and forth between each other.
"Agree to the terms, Pantsā," Gamabunta said. "Release all condor and hyena prisoners, relinquish your claim to whatever parts of Condor you have taken. Recall your troops. Swear no military adventures while we are gone and come fight beside us. For all our sakes."
"I will not."
Most of the bosses, all of the ones that Ruri could read, looked shocked.
"Pantsā," Lutrō of the Otters said, "you felt that thing as much as did I—more, for we stand on your lands. We will end up fighting them no matter what. It might be next season or it might be a hundred seasons from now, but we will. Would you rather it was on your soil or on soil far away and owned by an unallied clan?"
"I have taken no prisoners from Hyena," Pantsā rumbled. "I have claimed only a few scraps of land in Condor, from places where obstinate holdouts remained. I will fight beside you and I will swear that my people will advance not a step while we are gone, or for a month after we return in order that everyone may have time to return home. I will not release the betrayers that we have taken. They must pay for the betrayal of their ancestors. They must be cured of their horrific beliefs, taught proper honor and courage."
"YOU ARE YOUNG, PANTSĀ OF THE ADAMANT SCALES, YET YOU BEGIN TO CONCERN US." Much of the humor had gone from King Kamehameha's voice. "WE NEED TO FIGHT THE DRAGONS EVENTUALLY, AS OUR OTTERINE FRIEND SAYS. WE CANNOT DO THAT UNTIL WE ARE ALL UNITED IN A SPIRIT OF YOUTH."
Lord Cannai might feel no impact from facing off against something the size of a small mountain, but Ruri did. Pantsā was the size of the Hokage Monument, by far the largest living being she had ever seen...
...except for King Kamehameha. The ruler of the Turtle Clan was simply inconceivably large. He was like a land feature had stood up and walked off.
"Does Turtle offer threat?" Pantsā asked, his enormous voice too quiet for comfort.
"HOHOHO! OF COURSE NOT, MY SCALY FRIEND! WE SIMPLY NOTE THAT IT IS NECESSARY FOR ALL HERE GATHERED TO FEEL THEIR LANDS SAFE SO THAT EVERYONE CAN GO OFF TO BATTLE. AND THAT FRIENDS SHOULD HELP ONE ANOTHER TO FEEL SAFE."
"C'mon, Pantsā," Gamabunta said, spreading his hands wide. "Admit it: those condors have been a pain in the ass, right? They're slow to absorb your righteous teachings"—he quickly raised a hand to stop Conjura's protest—"they're constantly whining about wanting to fly, they eat and eat and eat. Plus, those ones that you haven't managed to bring in yet keep picking off pangolins here and there. Wouldn't life be easier if you could just get all of them out of your way? Surely it would be easier to simply exile them from this side of the mountains on pain of death. Losing their ancestral lands would be a fitting punishment for what their ancestors did to yours."
"Hmm," Pantsā rumbled.
Everyone waited, breath held in hope.
"There are many condors who have adapted well to the Pangolin way and would doubtless wish to stay," said Pantsā at last. "We will all need time to settle our affairs before we can depart to face these monsters. Everyone shall return home and meet back here in thirty days. Before that time has elapsed, Conjura will yield control of the Condor lands on this side of the mountains and the Holy Pangolin Empire will claim them. When she yields control, and only then, I will allow twenty-four hours for any condor who wishes to leave the Empire to do so. Anyone who chooses to remain after that period will remain with us from then on. Aside from those who choose to remain, no condor will ever again be seen within the borders of Pangolin."
"Within the current borders of Pangolin," Lutrō hurried to say.
Pantsā grunted. "Very well. Within the current borders of Pangolin."
"Ridiculous!" Conjura snapped. "Twenty-four hours is not—"
"What a wonderful idea!" Gamabunta said, overtalking her. "As your allies, the Toads will be delighted to help. We know how inconvenient it is for you to host all those condors, so I will send my people to expedite the departure of anyone who wants to leave. Why, we could even ask the condors now if they wish to leave! Anyone who says yes, we stage them to the border of Toad until Conjura releases her territory to you. That way we can have all those pesky condors out of your lands in an hour or three so that you aren't bothered by them for too long. Toad will even be responsible for their logistics while we wait. We'll send food, medicine, all that stuff. You won't have to lift a claw, Pantsā. I'm sure you have plenty of uses for the resources these people would otherwise consume."
Ruri smothered a laugh. The Pangolin Lord's eyes narrowed even further as he visibly tried to set Gamabunta on fire with sheer power of will. (Which was a thing that Ruri couldn't be sure was beyond the power of a Clan Lord, actually. Fortunately, Gamabunta remained unimmolated.)
"Very well," he said at last. "Provided the terrorist agrees, we have a deal."
"I am no—"
"WONDERFUL! HOHOHO! ISN'T THAT WONDERFUL, CONJURA?"
Conjura shook her head back and forth angrily to make her ruff puff out. She breathed deeply for ten long breaths, then grunted, "Fine."
"And what of the soldiers in my territory?" Haiwarai growled. "I shall expect them to be pulled back as well."
"Absolutely not!" Pantsā said. "Pangolins do not retreat."
"Pangolins better fucking—"
Cannai sat down and raised a paw to interrupt. "It will be fine, sister. Pantsā may be unwilling to retreat, but he will surely agree that fighting between members of the Conclave is to be avoided while all of us are away. Therefore, after you have sworn to fight beside us, neither pangolin nor hyena will take any military action during the time that we are away and for thirty days thereafter. That means fighting, advancing, scouting, any movement of warriors, and any movement of materials aside from minimal resupply of currently-positioned troops. Obviously, there will be much bad blood on both sides and therefore Dog will stand between you, our people ensuring that neither party acts rashly."
The Hyena Lady studied Cannai, weighing the carefully-chosen use of the word 'sister' against the bland even-handedness of the rest of the statement.
"Very well," she said. "Provided that Pantsā agrees to this deal as spoken, I will join the Conclave and fight beside you."
"Pangolin shall be honored to have you," Pantsā said, his voice once more under control. "And yes, of course I agree. My oath upon it."
"Excellent!" said Gamabunta, clapping webbed hands together. "Then we have a deal. All right, everyone: head home, get your affairs in order, be back on this spot in thirty days so that we can all head off to trash these pesky flying lizards."
"How exactly do you intend we get there?" Lord Manda asked. The enormous snake had been silent this entire time, watching the byplay. "What route ssshall we take, and how ssshall we bring the ssslower memberss along?"
Gamabunta glared daggers at the giant snake; the massive toad had clearly been hoping that things could be wrapped at that moment before more issues could crop up.
"We'll be meeting here," Pantsā said. "Obviously, we can simply go due west until we get there. A straight line is fastest."
"Hang on," Haiwarai said. "I don't want you on my land."
"Why, Lady Hyena, I'm hurt," Pantsā said. "We have made alliance against a common foe. Surely you don't suspect me of ill intent?"
"You attacked us! Of course I suspect you of ill intent, you giant bag of dicks!"
Ruri's heart sank as the Bosses descended into bickering. They had been so close to an actual agreement. Granted, the month-long delay wasn't great but at least the agreement had been made and there was an actual date of departure.
She listened as more and more bosses were drawn into the argument, voices rising along the way. Mentally, she thrashed around in search of any answer, but there was no good option. Pangolin was landlocked and none of the other rulers wanted Pantsā passing across their soil.
"HOHOHO! EVERYONE IS SO GROUCHY!"
The Turtle King put enough oomph into the words that Ruri nearly went to her knees with pain in her ears. More than one of the other Bosses winced or ducked their heads.
"THE ANSWER IS SIMPLE! WE SHALL MEET IN PANGOLIN, ON THE BORDER OF TURTLE! WE WILL CARRY YOU ON OUR BACK DOWN THE KAMENOGAWA RIVER TO THE OCEAN, AND FROM THERE AROUND THE COASTLINE TO ARACHNID! THUS, NO ONE NEEDS TO HAVE THEIR YOUTH DISRUPTED BY THE PASSAGE OF ANOTHER CLAN RULER."
"You're going to carry us," Hyōhakken said. "All of us." He looked at the (admittedly vastly larger than himself) Turtle Boss with tremendous amounts of dubiousness.
"INDEED! IT SHALL BE A MOST YOUTHFUL ADVENTURE! NO NEED TO NEGOTIATE OUR WAY THROUGH OTHER TERRITORIES, NO NEED TO WORRY OURSELVES ABOUT TERRAIN OR WEATHER. YOU MAY ALL RELAX AND ENJOY THE OCEAN AS WE BEAR YOU SWIFTLY ALONG ON OUR ROYAL BACK!"
"You know we won't all fit, right?" asked Marimarku. "You're big, but not that big."
"HOHOHO! YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR IS MOST YOUTHFUL, LORD MARA! SOME OF YOU MAY SWIM ALONGSIDE, IF YOU CAN KEEP UP. THE REST OF YOU MAY NEED TO REDUCE YOUR SIZE A BIT, BUT IT SHOULD POSE NO DIFFICULTY! WE ARE QUITE CAPACIOUS."
"Riiiight."
"I hate this idea," muttered Nezha, the Rat Lord.
"WHAT WAS THAT, DEAR ALLY?"
"I said 'what a great plan'," Nezha said with an eye roll. "Can't wait. I'm totally onboard. Pun intended."
"EXCELLENT! THEN WE HAVE A PLAN!"
"Yaaay," 'cheered' various Bosses in unified despondence.
XP AWARD: 8 This update covered two days.
Brevity XP: 2
"GM had fun" XP: 1
Ruri has returned from the Seventh Path and read Hazō in on what happened, so Hazō is free to act on any of the events in the chapter.
"Yūma?" Hazō asked carefully at the figure on the hospital bed.
Slowly, the sleeping figure roused, shifting slightly, then pulling himself upright with great effort. Black, greasy hair fell loosely around Yūma's slender, once attractive features, now worn by fatigue and illness.
"Lord Hazō?" he asked. He pinched himself, then rubbed at an eye to get a closer look, each motion agonizingly slow for a once lively ninja.
"Yes, it's me," Hazō said. "How are you feeling?"
Yūma blinked once, twice, thrice, then sent a grasping hand to his left to grab the cup of water left out for him. After a deep drink, he straightened up in his bed.
"Good," he said. "Better than yesterday, which was better than the day before. The headache is going away and they had me walk a couple steps yesterday. They said I can do missions again by year's end."
Hazō nodded, smiling. "That's good to hear."
"I nearly died," Yūma said. "I don't know how I can ever repay you and Lord Noburi and Lady Kei and Yuno for bailing me out."
"You don't need to repay me," Hazō said. "We're Gōketsu. This is what we do. If my life were on the line, would you have gone into the cave to save me?"
"Yes, but-"
"Then there's no debt," Hazō said. "And it's just 'Hazō'. And 'Noburi' and probably just 'Kei'. We're clan, Yūma, we can skip the formalities."
"Of course," Yūma said, looking forlornly into the empty cup.
"I heard you needed to tell me something," Hazō said.
"Yes," Yūma said. "Hazō, there was something in that cave for you. I don't know whether it was waiting for you or it was made for you or what exactly it was, but it was important. I remember thinking it was so important, I was willing to bleed out on the stone to get it for you. But Hazō, it was big. Unbelievably big, so big it felt like I couldn't hold it all in my mind."
"What was it?"
"I don't know," he said, and his grasp tightened on the wooden water cup. "The med-nin tell me that it's fake, that it's a result of the chakra beasts down there messing with my head, but I've had chakra beasts mess with my head before, and they always had a kinda similar feel to them, of something infiltrating your mind and taking control of your base desires. This was something else entirely. It was just so clear how important the thing was. Except now it's gone."
"Gone?" Hazō asked.
"I think," Yūma said. "Again, maybe I just had a head injury, but while I was asleep, I could feel the vastness of the thing shrinking and shrinking. It kept dwindling and now it's dead. I don't feel it any more. Not at all."
"Maybe," Hazō said carefully, "it was a mental compulsion drawing you into the cave so that the creatures could consume you somehow – maybe your mind or chakra. It took root in you for a while, but eventually you shook it off, and that's why you don't feel it anymore."
"I know how chakra beasts work, Hazō," Yūma said. "I've hunted predators that warp your mind to lure you into their lairs. This felt different. Real."
"Remember, it wasn't a chakra beast," Hazō said. "It was a sealing failure. Different rules. And the failure was caused by me and interacted with me somehow. It was clearly mind-affecting, the way it drew those ghosts from my memories of the past, so it's likely your mind just got affected too."
Yūma sighed. "I suppose," he said, looking again into his empty cup of water.
Hazō reached out to grasp Yūma's shoulder. "Just remember, you're okay, and we'll all be by your side as you recover. Plenty of things have messed with my head over the years. I've always found it's best to stay grounded in the real things. It'll get better, I promise."
o-o-o
Hazō blinked as the thin blue smoke around him dissipated without revealing the silken waiting room that he normally arrived in on Arachnid territory. Instead, he found himself in an open field along a small river. Long, broad-leafed trees stretched over a small encampment nearby.
"Hazō, duck!" Cantelabra called, and Hazō ducked as a ball flew past his head and nailed a… kangaroo? Who promptly stumbled back and played dead, letting the multi-colored shells it was holding scatter across the ground. Cantelabra hurried to fetch the ball as other kangaroos bounced in to gather the dropped shells, and a group of arachnids seemed to cheer the scorpion who had managed the lucky throw.
Hazō hustled away from the odd sports game to find Canabisu moseying Hazō's way.
"Summoner," the older dog said. "I see Cantelabra didn't tell you that he was in the middle of a game when you summoned him. At least the kangaroos paused while he was out."
"Canabisu, it's good to see you," Hazō said. "What's the situation? Why are there kangaroos? Why aren't we in Sanctuary?"
Canabisu looked up at Hazō, then turned, nosing his way towards the campsite. "Because Sanctuary has been evacuated."
Hazō's blood ran cold. "The Dragons?"
"That's right," Canabisu said. "A few days ago, scouts reported that the Dragons were moving again. Somewhere between one and three were still at the Great Seal, and the rest were sighted flying in some direction or another over Arachnid. Last I heard, at least one was going for the oceans. Their rampage last time went on for quite a while, so even knowing they weren't coming straight for us didn't mean we were safe. Kumokōgō had Sanctuary and all the cities evacuated to try to reduce the death toll, I think. Either way, there was a delegation from Kangaroo arriving, and they wanted to talk to you. So here we are."
Behind them, the young kangaroo team cheered as they finished stacking the colored shells, only for Cantelabra to barrel through and knock the stack over with a threatening growl.
"Is there a plan to find out what happened?" Hazō asked. "The Conclave is finally getting momentum, and Kumokōgō ought to know."
Canabisu tucked his ears back and raised a paw in uncertainty. "I've been here for a year and a half and I still don't get the Arachnid's hierarchy. They have runners, and there's plans to send someone back to Sanctuary, but I don't think we'll hear from the Empress anytime soon. I'd ask your uncle if I were you. He's probably got a spider close to the Empress. I wasn't willing to risk Cantelabra's life that close to a potential Dragon target."
"Kagome-sensei probably hasn't checked in on the Seventh Path in a couple days. I'll ask him for the update from Kumokōgō."
"If she's alive," Canabisu said cautiously.
Hazō shook his head, gesturing at the bile-yellow sky overhead. "The Arachnid clan still exists. She's definitely still alive out there, somewhere."
Canabisu shuddered. "Thanks for the horrifying reminder of what's gonna happen if the Dragons win."
"Sorry. You said the Kangaroos wanted to meet me?"
Canabisu shook his head as if he could shake away the bad thoughts as easily as water from a swim. "Yeah, that's what they said. Apparently you're the second highest authority on the Dragon thing while Kumokōgō is occupied. Are you on a schedule? Because if you can hang around, the Kangaroo Summoner should check in soon and you can talk."
"I have some time," Hazō said. "Wait, the Kangaroo Summoner?"
"I dunno, that's what they said," Canabisu said. "They've been tight-lipped on the details. Here, let me introduce you…"
o-o-o
The small tent was the sole human-produced artifact in the encampment, and it wasn't particularly impressive. In Leaf, a field tent would have been woven textile dyed red for ninja purposes, or a dull green for camouflage. Instead, stitched together animal skins had been draped over arcs of barely-shaped wood, leaving the whole tent uneven and lumpy.
Alongside Hazō and Canabisu in the tent, a single kangaroo mother waited with a young joey in her pouch. The kangaroo had politely refused to give Hazō her name, and similarly stonewalled his attempts at starting conversation. The joey had clearly been curious about the new human, but had quickly been shushed by its mother.
As if shying away from Hazō's staring, the joey disappeared in a puff of ochre smoke. A moment later, a short and stocky woman appeared. She spun on one foot and extended a spearpoint towards Hazō as soon as she saw him.
Hazō leaped as far back as he could manage in the tent, and Canabisu quickly jumped forward.
"Whoa, easy there. We're all allies here," the dog said, putting himself between Hazō and the Kangaroo Summoner, though well below the level of the spear.
The woman glanced down at Canabisu, looked searchingly at Hazō, then lowered the extended spear. She crouched down and released the joey that she'd clutched with her other arm. The joey quickly bounced back to its mother and jumped headfirst into her pouch. After some wriggling, the joey stuck its head back out of the pouch to supervise the proceedings.
The Kangaroo Summoner didn't take her eyes off Hazō as she gave him a shallow bow. "My apologies. You are the Dog Summoner, then?"
"Yes, Gōketsu Hazō," he said, returning the shallow bow. "Though I will say, while I've considered the possibilities of traps laid when I returned to the Human Path, I've never had to worry about combat while reverse summoning to a safe location."
She straightened, slinging her spear across her back and snorting slightly in what could have been a tiny laugh. "It only takes once."
Hazō took a second to scan the Kangaroo Summoner. She was shorter than him by a couple inches, though considerably stockier and clearly middle-aged by her iron-gray hair. Apart from the spear strapped around her back, there was nothing identifying about her person. No headband or insignia signaled her village or clan, and her clothing was in a rough drab green fabric that could have fit in as camouflage in any forest, or as civilian clothing anywhere at all. The only thing that stood out were a pair of red tassels tied near her speartip, though Hazō had no clue what they symbolized.
Hazō mentally noted that she declined to provide her name, and decided not to comment on it. "So, are you authorized to speak for the Kangaroos?"
She nodded. "Regarding the Dragons, I am."
"Good," Hazō said. "The Dragons are monstrosities from beyond this Path, made by the Sage to fight an ancient threat but which have themselves turned into a threat to all living creatures. While they–"
The Kangaroo Summoner held her hand up, a slight smile crossing her features. "Sorry, but we can skip the part where you try to convince me. We've already been in contact with the Arachnids, and I've personally spoken with spiders and a 'roo that saw some of the Dragons first-hand – as has Kangā. The Kangaroo Clan will stand by Arachnid in fighting against the Dragons. It's my understanding that clans from the east will show up at Arachnid at some point to fight against the Dragons, having exchanged oaths of cooperation amongst them. Assuming they would extend those same protections to Kangaroo, Kangā will personally stand beside Kumokōgō to kill the monstrosities that would threaten this Path."
Hazō blinked. "That's… great to hear. Earning a clan's cooperation has never been this easy before."
She smiled again, faint and sly. "I see. Well, Gōketsu, I already have some experience dealing with serious threats. In my time as summoner, I've earned a fair share of Kangā's trust, and even then I had trouble convincing her to risk her clan over a problem that others would potentially deal with. Still, in the end, she agreed that threats to her clan's existence are better overkilled than not killed at all. Unlike the Squirrels, I note."
"The Squirrels?" Hazō asked. "I also wanted to ask about their situation. They're just as threatened as any other Seventh Path clan, and we could use their aid."
The Kangaroo Summoner shook her head. "Unfortunately, they won't help us."
"That matches my understanding, Summoner," Canabisu said. "From what Kumokōgō said, the Squirrels were playing noncommittal or just plain dumb. It didn't sound like they wanted to learn more and help."
"I visited the Squirrels, of course," the Kangaroo Summoner said. "I don't know where they were getting information on the east from – perhaps the Crows? – but they knew enough about the Dragons to tell that humans such as yourself, the Monkey Summoner, and Orochimaru were deeply involved in the problem. All humans from Leaf, who they know to be uniformly honorless bastards. I tried to earn their cooperation, but the doors were sealed."
"In which case," Hazō sighed, "there's probably no point in me talking to them, right?"
"I suspect not," the Kangaroo Summoner said. "Unless you have a tongue silver enough to beggar the moon, and the willpower to stand under Risultana's certain anger after questioning her authority."
"Right," Hazō said, shaking his head. "Well, if their skies turn dark, hopefully they'll find it in them to feel a whit of regret."
Canabisu shuddered, the unnamed kangaroo cocked her head, and the woman laughed. "Harsh, don't you think?"
"After dealing with the Conclave in the east, I don't have much patience for people wasting my time and playing games when the stakes are their own lives," Hazō said. "Anyway, if Kangaroo was already convinced to sign on with the Dragons, why did you want to speak with me?"
Her face grew serious again. "To understand why this is happening," she said. "You are a sealmaster, and you've had well over a year to study the Great Seal and understand why it failed. The Sage, in his infinite wisdom, did indeed have a vision of a world that would last more than a millennium. He would not simply create a seal that would randomly break at some point without also giving people the tools to handle whatever's within."
Hazō shook his head. "I don't know why the Great Seal is failing. None of us know – not me, nor my uncle who is also studying the seal, nor even Orochimaru. It's not even clear that it's possible to determine the answer. For all we know, it could just have failed at random."
"Ancient seals do not generally fail 'at random'," she said with far too much confidence. "There is usually a very precise reason why they fail. What's your best guess?"
"I don't know," Hazō said. "I'd rather not guess wrong and risk you coming to some incorrect conclusion. My turn: how do you know so much about what the Sage wanted his ancient seals to do?"
She shrugged. "Like I said, experience with serious threats. I wouldn't ask you to part with whatever precious secrets you will derive from the Great Seal or the Dragon corpse. Do you really have no idea why the Great Seal could have failed? Because I can imagine one event of staggering scope in the last couple years which could maybe have weakened the Great Seal."
Hazō nodded. "I'm aware of Pain's ritual. Like I said, I don't know. It would be irresponsible of me to conjecture anything when our understanding of the Great Seal is so poor."
"I see," she said. "In that case, I have one final question. Do you have any particular reason to believe that killing the Dragons is safe?"
"What do you mean?"
"The Sage certainly could have killed the Dragons," she said. "Yet, he didn't. Maybe he wanted them around if that ancient threat you mentioned came back. If that were the case, I'd expect there to be some way to control the Dragons. Tools of war are ideally not themselves sentient, ravenous, unstoppable killing machines. If we can't control them, then he must have left them alive for some other reason."
"That's a lot of conjecture," Hazō said. "How do you know he was even capable of killing them?"
She rolled her eyes. "Based on what the Arachnids said, they killed a Dragon by cutting it. It was a very impressive cutting tool, yes, but cutting is not a new way of killing things. I have no doubt that the Sage could have done the same. That he didn't do that is information, even if I don't know what exactly it means."
"He created the Dragons. Kumokōgō said he may have been reluctant to destroy them because they were his first children. Even if he had the might, perhaps he just didn't have the willpower."
The Kangaroo Summoner crossed her arms and turned away slightly to consider, though she kept Hazō in her peripheral vision. "I see. In some myths, the Sage strikes down his brother or mother, but myth and fact are hard to disentangle. Perhaps he was a sentimental old man. Still, I'd be wary. I'm not an expert in the sealing arts, but my understanding is that many sealed things are sealed away because killing them creates more problems, harder problems, than keeping them in stasis."
"Then why did you advocate for the Kangaroo Clan to join in the Crusade?" Hazō asked.
Her expression turned grim. "Because I have investigated your story quite thoroughly, Gōketsu. I have heard the stories of the Dragons' survivors, and I have gazed upon the black sky above Archaeopteryx. Whatever problems may arise from killing them, I cannot permit their continued existence. If we can't seal them, which seems likely if you've truly made no progress understanding the Great Seal, then we must kill them. I'm well aware that even if killing someone causes a lot of fallout, you must still sometimes kill them before they hurt something you care about."
"If you want us to make the right calls so badly, then why not share what you know?" Hazō asked. "You're clearly knowledgeable. You know about the Sage and his deeds. If you share with me anything that could be useful, I swear to use it to ensure the Summon Bosses are able to kill the Dragons effectively, and that my eventual repair of the Great Seal goes well. Really, anything could be useful. Tales of the Dragons and the fights that sealed them away in the first place, tales of whoever among the Sage's companions made the Great Seal, even anything about the other seals you have experience with."
"I regret that I have nothing useful for you," she said, sighing. "I've searched the Human Path, and no source has any knowledge regarding the Dragons. Whatever they were, even the most diligent of Human Path lorekeepers didn't bother to preserve their myths. Given the scale of threat they represent, this honestly astounds me. Perhaps I haven't searched deeply enough, but the purest sources of knowledge are also the most deadly to delve…"
"Is that surprising?" Hazō asked. "Should there be someone in charge of this?"
"Yes," the Kangaroo Summoner said. "For a threat to potentially all of existence? I would expect some lineage of priests or holy men delivering the Sage's divine word down, under the very explicit instruction that failure to carry out their duty would mean a very explicit death to everything they cared about. I've seen no evidence of that. Perhaps some impure jinchūriki or overly ambitious ninja wiped them out. Given your Mori and Nara allies, I assume you've already asked the Five?"
"I have," Hazō said, leaning hard on the Iron Nerve to hide his shock. Shikamaru hadn't given him anything useful.
"There's few more dedicated to the carriage of ancient lore, for all their many, many flaws," she said. "If they didn't have anything on the Dragons, time itself may have stolen the knowledge you seek."
"And the ancient seals you've already seen?" Hazō asked. "How were they made? If you've already dealt with existential threats, what caused those seals to fail?"
She shook her head. "My oaths prohibit me from teaching others how to break seals that should never be broken. I'm afraid I must be going. Remember, the Kangaroo Clan stands by you in your fight against the Dragons. If you need me, I'm sure you can find me. You won't see much of me otherwise, as I have no desire to draw Orochimaru's attention. Farewell, Gōketsu."
The Kangaroo Summoner disappeared in a puff of ochre smoke. The kangaroo mother looked at Hazō a moment longer, then hopped out of the room.
"Was that good?" Canabisu asked. "That was good for us, right?"
"Frustrating, but good overall, I think," Hazō said with a sigh. "Come on, let's go talk to whoever's in charge of the Arachnids."
Mari has started her plan to recover the Gōketsu's finances, including getting a forward on the silk money from the Meiori Clan. The clan has a small cash buffer now, but is still fairly vulnerable to economic warfare. Naruto agreed to coordinate Tsunade and the Kurusu's gemstone sales to keep the sales slow.
Kagome confirms that Kumokōgō is alive. She reports that casualties in Arachnid have been 'minimal' – at least relative to the last rampage, and the Dragons had flown southwest-ish out to sea. She's glad that the Conclave is moving and will hopefully be ready to meet them on the south coast of Arachnid whenever they arrive.
Team Hyūga reports that they've arrived at the cave and have done a couple shallow delves to familiarize themselves with the environment. The wildlife has replenished since Team Gōketsu's last visit, so they're moving carefully. They report no sign yet of chakra crystal or golems, or anything that poses a threat to them.
Sasuke was unavailable to speak on account of his new position as a trusted advisor to the Hokage.
