Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
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- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Italy
That is canon Orochimaru, we don't know mfd!Orochimaru objectives. For example, he joined the Akatsuki, with Nagato "Hazou.0.5 Version" as a leader.
Chapter 453: Sealing the Deal
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
December 19, 1070, the day after Kagome-sensei's birthday
"Can't believe you're doing this, dude."
Hazō settled down on the freshly-dug latrine and ensured his blankets were carefully arranged and his hibachi were appropriately stoked. Only then did he reply to his brother.
"Fate of the world, Nobby. Fate of the world."
Noburi rolled his eyes. "Sure, whatever. I'll be back with chakra and snacks this afternoon."
Long experience made Hazō wait for it.
"Oh, and mockery."
There it was.
"Because of course you think the person trying to save the world at great inconvenience to himself is worthy of mockery. You know, Nobby, there are times when you're a bad brother."
"Heeey." Noburi clapped him on the shoulder and left.
Hazō is using the Stonecarving jutsu to replicate The Great Seal from the Seventh Path, along with many, many capitalized letters. The jutsu normally takes a few hours to cast but Hazō is timeshifting down two steps to 'a full day', and also invoking every Aspect he can find. His Aspect Bonus is 4.
NOTE: I'm not sure some of these Aspects should be worthy of a bonus so we might not use them in the future. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because I feel like death warmed over and I try to lean positive when my personal blechiness might be making me judge more harshly than normal.
Total cost: 6 FP
Final result: 46
NOTE: I'm not sure some of these Aspects should be worthy of a bonus so we might not use them in the future. I'm giving you the benefit of the doubt because I feel like death warmed over and I try to lean positive when my personal blechiness might be making me judge more harshly than normal.
- Hazō, Stonecarving jutsu: 30
- -16 (two Severe Consequences)
- +8 (time bonus, two steps)
- +4 (invoke: Iron Nerve)
- +4 (invoke: Consulted Jiraiya's Notes)
- +4 (invoke: Promising Sealing Student)
- +4 (invoke: Sufficient Contiguous Material)
- +4 (invoke: Support Crew)
- +4 (invoke: Consulted Master Sculptors)
- +0 (dice)
Total cost: 6 FP
Final result: 46
He took his time, exploring through the stone and being certain that every crevice and cranny was filled with his chakra. When he started moving stone around it would be better if he could move each grain on its own instead of only moving some of them and dragging the rest along. That was a good way to cause stretching and microfractures that interfered with the precision. Of course, doing it this way also took a lot more time, hence the latrine. He was going to be here a while.
The sun had been peeking over the horizon when he started and it was noon by the time he was ready to begin. Noburi had been by with a cup of chakra water and one of the civilian maids had fed him a few bites of heavily-buttered bread to keep him from being hungry. It was embarrassing being fed like an infant, but he didn't want to either open his eyes or take his hands off the stone. He was creating a sculpture that replicated the Great Seal; it needed to be as precise as he could make it. He could already tell it wasn't right; there were flanges that he couldn't smooth down and the texture was wrong. Well, and it was smaller than the real one. Still, it would be vastly better than the chicken-scratched diagrams he had been able to give the research team thus far.
The research team had been furious when told that they needed to clear out for 24 hours but Hazō needed no distractions. Plus, having people listen to him pee and poop was just too embarrassing.
He carved stone away carefully, imagining himself freeing the shape from within the stone instead of actually creating it. That had been the advice of Gusukuma Namio, the 90-year-old civilian sculptor who was widely considered one of the greatest masters in the Land of Fire. His works adorned Hokage Tower, the Hyūga mansion, and three of the Nara meditation rooms. He had been appalled at the idea of carving something with jutsu instead of with one's hands, but he had balanced those against the honor of being consulted by a Clan Head who had told him that it was a critically-important and highly-classified ninja mission. (He had also visibly wanted to ask how a sculpture could possibly be an important part of a ninja mission, but he knew better to question.)
The sun was setting and a horrific itch had taken up residence under Hazō's right eye. He ignored it and focused, drawing on the memories of Hell Week at the Academy to not let it distract him. He fed his chakra out in tiny strands, his life force melding with the stone and slowly cajoling it into the shape he needed.
Noburi and a different civilian maid had been by every three hours with more chakra water and buttered toast. Despite his teasing when the process began, Noburi was sober and silent throughout. The train of mocking visitors failed to appear, for which a distant part of Hazō's mind was grateful...at least, until he pushed the thought away so that it wouldn't distract him from cajoling the stone into the necessary shape.
Finally, as the final glint of the silver moon was dipping below the horizon, the shaping was complete and Hazō began the laborious process of dispersing his chakra from within the stone. He eased it out, doing it one tiny pocket at a time and allowing it to drift away on the faint breeze instead of ejecting it the way he normally would. It was time-consuming but if not done properly it would have caused the stone to continue shifting slowly for a time, thereby distorting the final product by a tiny amount. This entire project was about tiny amounts, so Hazō took his time. Precision. Perfection. Everything must be perfect.
o-o-o-o
"How shoddy could you be?!" Master Kurusu shrieked, pointing to one of the sweeping arcs of the seal. "This is obviously wrong! Obviously!
Hazō bit down on his cheek. Comparing what he had produced to the image of the Great Seal he held stored in the Iron Nerve, he could tell that particular bit was one of the more accurate parts of the design.
"Sir, it's true that the texture is wrong—"
"It's not the texture, you fool! It's the—"
"Oh, shut up, Kurusu," Master Takatori sighed. "Let the boy finish."
"Don't you patronize me, Takatori! I've been doing this since before—"
"Before I was in the field, yes. You're still a plodder with outdated ideas, so shut up."
"My ideas are not outdated!" Kurusu's voice had climbed an octave in rage and he was shaking his arms. "Don't you talk like that to me, you—"
"Please do shut up, Kurusu," said Nara Shikamippei. "Your latest monograph referenced astral conjunction which was demonstrated to be of negligible impact six years ago in that Hyūga paper."
"I was writing about maximal safety precautions! By definition that requires precision!"
"Perhaps we could allow Lord Gōketsu to speak," the Hokage said.
Silence ruled the meadow.
"Thank you, sir," Hazō said, praising every kami for Shikamippei's insight. Two hours ago, after a morning that mostly consisted of sealmasters shouting at each other, the Nara sealmaster had sent one of the support staff to fetch Asuma. The Hokage had been staying out of the discussion—which was good, since he was utterly unqualified—and only serving as a moderator. Specifically, a Tanaka moderator: One of the elements that was typically used to prevent explosive tags from self-detonating.
"This segment is as accurate as I could make it given the limitations of the material," Hazō said, forcing himself to remain erect instead of sagging against the granite. Twenty-seven hours of sculpting had taken its toll and all he wanted to do was go home and go to bed. Unfortunately, that couldn't happen until he had walked the research team through his design. And spoken with Cannai. And checked in with Gaku. Oh gods, his bed was so far in the future it made him want to weep.
"Expand on that, please," Shikamippei asked.
"The Seal is completely smooth and made of a greenish-blue stone that I don't recognize, sirs." Hazō gestured to the rough red granite. "It also seems to be stronger than granite because it supports curls that I could not reproduce here. Some of them are thin enough to be translucent, and others are sharp as a blade." He grimaced. "Also, I didn't have enough control to reproduce all the elements accurately. This branch here is too thick"—he pointed, then took two steps further along, tracing the path of the curve without actually touching the stone. "This part here wobbles where the true Seal is completely straight."
"Hah!" said the senior Motoyoshi. "I told you all that the chakra flows would be inconsistent through there! You'd get flow delays!"
"No, you wouldn't, dumbass." Minami gestured along the relevant section, then pointed at its opposite side. "Look at the lensing. It's concave here and convex here. The issue wouldn't be delays, it would be forking."
"Are you insane?! It goes in as a laminar flow!" Motoyoshi stepped up, putting himself nearly nose-to-nose with Minami. He jabbed the other sealmaster in the chest and pointed at the relevant section of stone. "You and your stupid ideas about threading are just as full of shit as always! You're not going to get forking across a space that short! Where would it even—"
The Hokage cleared his throat.
Silence ruled the meadow.
"Perhaps it would be wise for us to break for lunch. And for everyone to cool down."
Grumbling ruled the meadow.
"Lord Gōketsu, is your list complete?" Asuma asked.
"As complete as I can make it, sir." Hazō extended the sheaf of papers listing off every difference he'd been able to find between his output and the actual Seal that he could see behind his eyes. "There are some parts I'm not sure about and I feel like there are probably things I haven't noted, but this is the best I can find."
Asuma took the papers with a grateful nod. "Thank you, Lord Gōketsu. You've done excellent work. Why don't you go home and get some sleep?"
"With your permission, sir, I still need to talk to Cannai."
Asuma raised an eyebrow.
"I'm fine sir, really."
"Very well. You know your limitations and obligations better than I do. Don't push yourself too hard. We're going to need you fresh in the morning."
"Thank you sir."
Asuma stepped in close so he could take the papers and clap Hazō on the shoulder. "Leaving your Hokage here to face all this alone?" he whispered, tipping his head slightly towards where Motoyoshi and Minami were already going at it. "I don't know, Hazō. I think this might be treason."
Hazō struggled not to laugh. He was facing away from the other sealmasters, which helped, and the Iron Nerve clamped down to maintain his calm and unruffled body language.
"Yes sir. Shall I report myself to Torture and Interrogation?"
Asuma shook his head regretfully. "I suppose we'll let it go this time. Just be sure you come back in the morning. The only time they aren't about to punch each other is when they're listening to you."
"I'll be here first thing, sir."
Asuma gave his shoulder a friendly squeeze and pushed him towards the path. "Off you go. Good job today."
I was looking forward to writing Kagome's birthday but I feel like garbage and didn't have the juice. Here's the easy part of the plan.
XP AWARD: 8
Brevity XP: 2
Voting is open!
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- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Agreed. We mis-read MfD-Naruto due to an over-reliance on canon information, and we've alienated a major political and military power (possibly forever). We're lucky that we survived Naruto's disgust for this long... Something tells me that we won't be so lucky if we misread MfD-Orochimaru. Especially since the QMs have said that, should Oro decide he wants to chop Hazou up, there's nothing that anyone in Leaf can do about it.
Edit: UPDOOT!!
- Pronouns
- He/Him
He did this in canon too, though in canon he did it to steal Itachi's body/eyes. He also wanted Pein's eyes but knew he had no chance. Once he realized he wasn't getting Itachi either he just left.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Friendly Asuma is Best Asuma. Also, I hope you feel better, @eaglejarl!
- Location
- Texas
I laughed at this for way too long.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
ASUMA: "Why didn't Dad ever set up a Sealing Guild, or have Leaf's sealmasters collaborate on projects?"
SEALMASTERS: [unite for the Great Seal]
SEALMASTERS: [argue]
ASUMA: "Ah... Makes sense, in retrospect."
---
Also: I'm at work right now, and will be for another 9ish hours (yay, double shifts). Spoons permitting, I'll do a reaction post later tonight.
SEALMASTERS: [unite for the Great Seal]
SEALMASTERS: [argue]
ASUMA: "Ah... Makes sense, in retrospect."
---
Also: I'm at work right now, and will be for another 9ish hours (yay, double shifts). Spoons permitting, I'll do a reaction post later tonight.
-because of course it's made of jade.
It occurs to me that we have a way to turn easily carved abundant limestone into marble.
This is fair. In my defense, it can be difficult to keep track of the details. I'm still trying to wrap my head around "here's how to solve partially differential equations in twelve dimensions to smith timeless Klein-bubbles out of the raw ether to store food in" and "a child of a nautical civilization thinking to put numbers on a map corresponding to objective quantities of length and angle? No, that's unreasonable."
It occurs to me that we have a way to turn easily carved abundant limestone into marble.
This is fair. In my defense, it can be difficult to keep track of the details. I'm still trying to wrap my head around "here's how to solve partially differential equations in twelve dimensions to smith timeless Klein-bubbles out of the raw ether to store food in" and "a child of a nautical civilization thinking to put numbers on a map corresponding to objective quantities of length and angle? No, that's unreasonable."
- Location
- Yes.
*squints in faflec*
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Are you referring to topographical maps? Wouldn't a nautical civilization be the last to think of something like that? Since elevation is meaningless on the ocean.
- Location
- Yes.
You couldn't have just made Shikamippei an adopted sealmaster like Shiori's dad, and given them a non-crazy name?
- Pronouns
- He/Him
whats wrong with it I don't speak japanese
Rough translation: "knows when to keep their mouth shut."
I was speaking of basic navigational maps.
Source on Hazou not knowing about such things?
I don't remember. I think it came up during the discussion of the last couple chapters while I was too distracted by other things to do more than poke my head in once in a while. Something along the lines of modern navigational maps only having been invented in the 19th century and therefore being off-limits to the character.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
That was specifically about topographic maps, the ones you can use to depict elevation. We were thinking of making a map to that specification and hiring a civilian (Gusukuma Namio, in retrospect) to sculpt it for us. Hypothetical advantage being that we could be a few levels higher if we put our XP in Calligraphy instead of Stonecarving (and if the craftsman was good enough they'd be able to get as much information out as we could put to paper), but unfortunately Hazou doesn't know about topographic maps so it wasn't viable.
Navigational maps have been around since the 13th century, the recent discussion centered around topographical maps, which were invented in the 19th century.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"mippei" is Japanese for "seal".
Where's the fun in that? :>
I eagerly await the character Joe Fixodent.
Yeah, somebody who is used to collapsing twelve dimensions into a two dimensional drawing wouldn't think of the possibility of adding the third from the universe they actually day-to-day live in. Particularly when they are actively devoting themselves to creating three-dimensional renditions of geographic features for days at a time.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Hazō has seen jade before. The Seal is not any kind of jade he recognizes.
Lol
Lol
Wonder what that
Typo
Lol. Asuma is this gonna be a thing now