Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- UK
- Location
- Europe
[X] Kagome has a Nightmare: The Sage is Kurosawa Hazou
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
One notable implication of this is that the middle "th" is two separate sounds (Nyarlat-hotep), and nearly everyone gets it wrong. It is a cause of great suffering to pedantic cultists.
Interesting factlet 2: Both the concept and the name of Nyarlathotep originally came to Lovecraft in an eerie dream.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
So first old ladies, and now incestuous BDSM? I suppose we're technically following in Jiraiya's perverted legend, but I'm not so sure we want the Goketsu to be known for unparalleled kinkiness.
That said, if they believe we hit on old ladies and tie our siblings up in their underwear for fun people will be ready to believe any level of lewdness from us. We could use that to our advantage, blue screen of death-ing our foes with strategically delivered insinuations of ultimate depravity.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Technical observation: No one here is a blood relative
I wonder if --given that message-- that we are getting another update tomorrow or whether this refers to the scene in question...
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
Is that... a hint?
Everyone, this update secretly revealed strategically-important information:
- Akatsuki's plans involve evenly distributing chakra across the whole of humanity.
- Names of Cloud's leadership members arranged by date of entry into office spell out The Sage's true name.
- The Sage is Nyarlathothep.
We're "children" of Jiraiya and Inoue Mari. Obviously we're going to surpass Jiraiya's legend. (Or perhaps not. We're apparently not stripping our prisoners naked this event and stealing their clothes as part of ensuring that we've stolen all their word-halves, after all. Disappointing.)
Last edited:
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
THIS GOT A LIKE FROM OLIWHAIL FULL SPEED AHEAD ON THE GASLIGHTING TRAIN
CHOO CHOO THERE'S NO BREAKS ON THIS TRAIN THERE WERE NEVER BREAKS ON THIS TRAIN WHAT ARE YOU STUPID TRAINS DON'T HAVE BREAKS
- Location
- Yes.
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
This goddamn thread
Ah yes, spelling out the name of the thread's true patron.
According to Wikipedia: "Unlike the other Outer Gods, causing madness is more important and enjoyable than death and destruction to Nyarlathotep. It is suggested by some that he will destroy the human race and possibly the Earth as well."
Seems pretty accurate
- Location
- Potato land
I keep telling you guys, rational Akatsuki are the real heroes. I swear, if I was here at the time we were debating giving Skywalkers to Leaf, I would've made the Rain route reality instead.
Noumero
Omit Needless Words
The problem is that, as per the current plan, they will be asleep. We can only have Gomi take his time experimenting on them after the rampage is over, and by then everyone will be drained and unconscious. We'd need to vote-in a modified plan, if we want to do that.
Jokes aside, we know literally nothing of what NfD-Akatsuki is trying to accomplish and very little of how they're going about it, other than that it involves kidnapping and torturing teenaged boys.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
It's too bad we didn't choose to go to Rain instead of Iron at the start of the quest.
In fairness, our current plans also involve capturing and torturing teenage boys. Girls, too.
- Location
- Central Standard Time
[X] Kagome has a Nightmare: The Sage is Kurosawa Hazou
Let's follow the screaming.
Let's follow the screaming.
- Location
- Potato land
Exactly my point! We'd fit right in.
- Location
- Yes.
Nah, we'll be needing to wait a couple of years. Akatsuki is comprised of adults.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
So I would like to point out that this update was not tagged AU and that Hazo waking up from hearing Keiko scream is not evidence of this being Keiko's nightmare sequence but merely indicates time passing due to a scene break.
I admit that @Velorien was pretty clever about it by omitting the fact that the proctor mentioned in the update is a Leaf proctor because around four years passed after we defeated Akatsuki and now the next Exams are being held in Leaf.
It all fits when you think about it: Ami clearly came as part of the Mist contingent to observe the Exams as the new Mizukage candidate and the fact that Kagome is around also supports this theory since he isn't allowed to leave Leaf.
With that in mind:
We have now entered stable time loop territory. Lets make sure the plan for Round 2 is exceptional because I fear what would happened to the timeline otherwise.
I admit that @Velorien was pretty clever about it by omitting the fact that the proctor mentioned in the update is a Leaf proctor because around four years passed after we defeated Akatsuki and now the next Exams are being held in Leaf.
It all fits when you think about it: Ami clearly came as part of the Mist contingent to observe the Exams as the new Mizukage candidate and the fact that Kagome is around also supports this theory since he isn't allowed to leave Leaf.
With that in mind:
We have now entered stable time loop territory. Lets make sure the plan for Round 2 is exceptional because I fear what would happened to the timeline otherwise.
Last edited:
Vecht
Self-Requested Ban
- Location
- Snarksville, Snarkland
This goddamn thread
Ah yes, spelling out the name of the thread's true patron.
According to Wikipedia: "Unlike the other Outer Gods, causing madness is more important and enjoyable than death and destruction to Nyarlathotep. It is suggested by some that he will destroy the human race and possibly the Earth as well."
Seems pretty accurate
Praise be unto the Black Pharoah, the Crawling Chaos, The Stalker Among the Stars. Through his servant, the Nameless Hunger That Dwells In The Gaps Between Minds, may his will be done through our collective insanity.
Last edited:
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
Just one teenage boy. Just like the Goketsu only had one questionable relationships to one older lady and definitely not more.
We have to be vigilant; this is how rumors start.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Gender equality is important. Please lobby for more diverse representation of socioethnic groups in our Jinchuuriki!
If we can fit some gaslighting in with pre-break pre-Round 2 preparations, Im all for it.
Maybe not *everyone* but people like Pikachu lad who are a significant threat to us.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Also the Electabuzz we just fought. He was rough. Honestly, we should just have Kei deal with him next time.
Emstar
The Shining One
- Location
- Trapped in an extradimensional rift.
- Pronouns
- She/They
Tbh the Cloud turnout is extremely impressive. That Lightning Aura technique thing is BOSS. These ninja are serious contenders. I really hope theres not more than a handful of ninja with such prodigious combat stats.
Vecht
Self-Requested Ban
- Location
- Snarksville, Snarkland
Next time? I'm partial to just punching his head through. If we keep doing that, eventually no one will think to screw with us.