I suppose that's fair. But the thing to remember, at least if my assessment of the man is accurate, is that Xanatos respects success and the traits that lead to success. And that arguably, his defining greatest strength is his ability to identify ways to profit from any situation, even an unexpected one, such as a seemingly weak individual proving more successful and capable than he appears.
As long as we keep succeeding, Xanatos will keep showing us some measure of respect, I think.
Well, considering how well this last turn went and how public some of it was (Domesticated Dinos as pets, cattle and service animals, you know?) as well as the expected fallout for the more covert stuff (effectively clipping the wings of Dooms Intrigue guy and...PRETTY MUCH EVERYTHING ABOUT JANNA), we should tick off that "remain sucessful in your endeavours" field on his onbservation list for us, methinks.
And also...
Well, you know what they say about the world's greatest swordsman.
To me that was more of a "a broken clock striking the right time twice a day" deal, but I do get your point
I think you're getting it backwards.
By planning around fear of Xanatos succeeding, you are trying to create a situation in which Xanatos doesn't win.
Let that sink in for a moment.
Such a notion is, if we are dealing with memetic Xanatos, preposterous. A Xanatos who isn't winning? You might as well try to create a square circle or a burning ice cube.
No, no. The secret to dealing with Xanatos is to create situation in which his success is compatible with- or even requires- your own.
Nono, I wanna create a situation concerning him where *we don´t lose*...Very big difference.
Heck, part of the reason I am pushing so hard for us doing that Alliance thingy with him as a member is me wanting him to *point his vast intellect, economic prowess and (magical) power AWAY FROM US*...if he point all that the direction of our mutual enemies, all the better in my book.
As for the bit about circles: Depending on how one sees things, circles are either actually round or actually polygons with infinite corners...so while "squaring the circle" remains a riddle for the ages, it´s still an amusing thought.
[ ] Deal with 'The Resistance' (Dennis)
DC 5
68+20+17+2=107
Critical Success
To be continued in Interlude: You're Going Down!
...Well, that happened.
While I´d still have preferred Max doing it (despite it *for some reason* counting as Martial and therefore Max´ teen trait not triggering), Dennis definitely did what we asked him to and then some...maybe even encountered P&F in some fashion.
So I am okay with how things went.
[ ] Update the City Council with Princess CJ (Goofy)
DC 80
46+18+23+3+10 (XP)=97
Decent Success
You allowed Goofy to sit down at the computer terminal for a total of about thirty seconds before you realized that he wasn't going to be much help at all in that department. Thankfully, what he was good at was serving as a model of likability and charisma that you were able to use as a check against the subroutines you were writing. This was very helpful, since you have neither of those things. He also took to reading 'CJ', as he continually calls the new AI, the old fairy tales she seems to enjoy so much, which made you feel a bit uncomfortable considering how much it reminded you of Vanessa. Together with your coding, it seems to have inspired a general interest in the wellbeing of your 'subjects' that Coffee refers to as 'noblesse oblige'. As far as AI coding quirks go, you suppose an obsession with the general wellbeing is one of the better ones.
CJ is not the only prospect you have your eye on though. The city council, responsible for most of the stuff that actually makes Doofania run, had basically been operating as if nothing was different for the last year and a half. Most members were a bit uncomfortable as you introduced them to the new robot that was going to be doing half their jobs from now on, but two were nothing but enthusiastic.
Extra Diplomacy Action Unlocked!
Diplomat Council Position revealed!
Princess CJ has respecced towards both stewardship and diplomacy.
Princess CJ now defines her purpose as accomplishing the general wellbeing of your population, filtered through the lens of 'nobility and chivalry' that existed primarily in books and nowhere in history.
Considering that Goofy ain´t the brightest bulb in term of AI finagling, his parenting skills coming through and essentially making CJ a better Diplo & Steward Hero is definitely something very good for both him and us.
Something else interesting has happened… to be continued in Interlude: Rotate in with the Board of Selectmen
Hmmm....anyone got an idea what that one could be?
[ ] Excavate Chicken Itza (Janna)
DC 90 (Reduced by XP)
95+24+5+1+40 (Feldrake Bonus)=165
Spectacular Success
Janna managed to not flake on this job, despite being… distracted. Feldrake led her and your team of excavators through his ancient temple, showing no qualms whatsoever in ripping out every last speck of gold and every magical item he'd sequestered there, so long as you promised to use them 'furthering the cause of evil'.
Out of his horde, two items in particular stood out:
The Ruby Wings are a pair of enchanted wings, shaped of ruby shards so artfully crafted that they appear like individual feathers. In addition to the obvious monetary value, the wings can grant, for a short time, the power of flight! Oh also, they're the symbol of rulership for some minor tribe or another, but Feldrake didn't care about that when he stole them from their mouldering ruins and he certainly doesn't care now.
The Ruby Wings grant the power of flight to the wielder, with all the logical benefit this implies. Rolls that require climbing or jumping are harmlessly avoided, and certain land-bound enemies might find it impossible to make a combat roll against them.
The other is even more impressive: a massive stone goliath the staff calls the 'Avatar of Feldrake'. It's a magical golem designed to represent Feldrake's 'eventual godlike form'. You can't help but think it might have been a bit generous with the six pack.
Either way, the golem is designed to be controlled by Feldrake, or any magic user, for the general purpose of waking up and stomping all over anything nearby. Unfortunately, it's a bit… temperamental.
The Avatar of Feldrake is a two-story blood red golem that can be awoken to help in any combat roll (martial rolls that involve actually fighting someone) in Doofania, such as defending against attacking nemeses. The Avatar can be awoken by any hero unit with an occult stat, which counts as a personal action. If an unexpected martial roll comes up, an occult hero can be reassigned to the Avatar as long as their previous action took place in Doofania. They do not do whatever their previous action was.
The Avatar grants a +25 to martial rolls in a single combat. However, every time it is used, there is a chance that it goes out of control. If it does, it gives a +25 bonus to your opponent instead. There is a 20% chance that this occurs on any given use, unless the occult unit controlling it is wielding Feldrake, in which case the chance is 10%.
Lastly, now that he's had the chance to take stock of his stuff, Feldrake has finally told you the secrets of his golden map: it is a collection of locations he intended to use to RULE THE UNIVERSE!!!
This includes various temples of his, potential recruits for a supernatural army, and the suspected resting places of various items of magical power. He's warned that wandering into any of these places without sending someone versed in magic is probably a terrible idea.
Moderate Income increase!
Ruby Wings gained!
Avatar of Felldrake gained!
Feldrake is now fully willing to help on the Xanadu quest!
After the Xanadu quest, more quests will become available!
...That action had a DC of 90 and Janna would have suceeded *on her dice roll alone, w/o any modifiers*...
Sure, it would not have netted those sweet boons probably, but it still would have suceeded nonetheless...That´s definitely something nice.
So, the "moderate income increase" will be cancelling out the malus from us putting back some dosh for that auction in October at least partially - nice.
The Ruby Wings are definitely neato, although I was hoping to build them into that power armor that we might wanna build at some point to not crack at the first sign of direct opposition like Syndrome did. Of course we´d have to make it look as if they/the suit does it in a technological way as to not ruffle any Masqueraed feathers about revealing the existence of Magic, but having a personal method of rapid, three-dimensional movement that gives enemies something to get worked up about is definitely something we should consider for ourselves. (Plus, how could would be us sporting giant, blodd-red wings outta our power armor all off a sudden?)
That being said, Janna (as the occult powerhouse she seems to be becoming) or Vanessa (as our "little angel") getting those wings would be nifty as well.
That avatar definitely is gonna be Jannas bodyguard for the time being, since her right now wielding Felldrake should lower taht damn berserking chance it got going.
Xanadu indirectly being boosted is nice, but we should wait with it until we can get Khan his steed for the power of A MONGOL KHAN AT PEAK PERFORMANCE.
[ ] Express Delivery (Coyote)
DC 90 (Reduced by XP)
42+24+22+4+5(XP)=97
Bare Success
Coyote is so familiar with ACME products and the way that they work that trying to come to a new understanding of them proved difficult. For a while, it seemed like he'd make no progress at all… until, while investigating the storerooms, a box of ACME-brand light bulbs fell onto his head. That was when, midway through the electrocution, Coyote made the realization: COMEDY!
ACME's Express Delivery takes advantage of the Toonforce to transport Toon goods (and it does have to be specifically-manufactured Toon goods) impossible distances in an instant… because it would be funny.
While this does limit the value of it somewhat, it does mean you now know how to begin making use of it- to expand ACME delivery, you just need to revamp your supply chain so that it would be deeply comedic for products to arrive at certain times and places. While every shipment will need to have a certain amount of Toon goods inside it to function, this seems like a great opportunity to employ Toons who do not actively want to act; both to create the necessary Toon goods to stock in your other shipments, and to create the necessary joke setup at the destinations.
Comedize your Supply Chain action unlocked!
Move Castle Doofhawk DC slightly reduced!
...I can hear Doom sneering about us "callously exploiting Toons as cheap factory drones" already, but this revelation can still help us integrate those Toons who want to simply lay low without acting up into a proper life.
That´s probably what this new action is about at least partially - we staff our factories and delivery services with Toons, who thanks to their comedic nature feed off/into ACMEs reliance on the Toonforce to get stuff done, boosting both our productivity and the living standards of our Toon populace in the process (sure, being factory workers isn´t all that glamorous, but that way they can be make a living and still be appreciated for being Toon-y about it)
Everyone in Doofania is a winner here.
...although I am not quite sure how our attempts to move Castle Doofhawk around is gonna profit from us looking into ACME shenanigans, I am not turning away from a free boon if offered.
[ ] Wing the Hawk- Feed Hawk False Trails (Russ)
DC 90
83+14+36+3=136
Great Success
Russ ran absolute loops around Alonso Hawk, proving that the old man may be a schemer, but he's no mastermind. Russ spent seven of the eight weeks leading Hawk in circles. He tricked Hawk into thinking some of his loyal agents were compromised even as he inserted his own into Hawk's rumor mill. He got Hawk convinced Doof's next big plan was to enter a pro-toon economic partnership with Glomgold, and convinced him that minor Californian celebrity Mister Sparkles was somehow vital to the deal. He even managed to send Hawk himself on a 5 day business trip to a convention center that never actually existed. All while drip feeding Alonso just enough true information to keep him from ever suspecting he'd been had. It was a performance to make Garbo salute.
Near the end of it, Russ caught wind that Doom was considering firing Hawk for poor performance, and so he made sure to give Hawk just enough easy wins to keep the wonderfully useless 'spymaster' around.
In fact, he did so well that, after discovering how many Toon-owned properties Hawk had swindled away from them, Russ spent seven straight days engineering increasingly complex circumstances in which Hawk would slip on a banana peel. In all, Alonso slipped on twenty-seven banana peels, three of which threw out his back. He slipped everywhere from his place of work to his dead drops, his front door to his favorite restaurant, and in one case even in his own bedroom.
Alonso Hawk has been completely befuddled!
Judge Doom takes a -10 to all Intrigue actions for the next few turns, plus an additional -15 to intrigue against you!
Judge Doom has delayed his decision on whether to try and replace Hawk with someone better.
Ouch...that´s gonna sting for Dooms attempts to do intrigues against us specifically (again, that -15 is IN ADDITION to the general -10, meaning that for the next few turns Doom will have a considerable malus of -25 in Intrigue against us)
Now that I think about about it (and if I am understanding quest mechanics correctly), while that malus is active we should do Intrigue actions against Doom.
Just think about it, if he´s contesting our Intrigue rolls he´ll be having to deall with that malus weighing down him. So while that malus is active, we should pound Doom as hard as we can with Intrigue actions to really let that fucker suffer. And when Doomtown is starting to go down, we make Hawk *an offer he better not refuse* to effectively become our double agent against Doom, twisting the knife in that bastard´s back even more.
Doom will rue the day he decided to take a swing at us and genocide those poor Toons for his own profit...
[ ] Investigate the cape scene (Mirage)
DC 0
71+14+28+4=117
Spectacular Success
Mirage seemed especially well suited to this task, given her long experience in the area. While she did do her research to make sure her information remained current, most of her work was just pulling together everything she already knew.
A report on the state of superheroes will be forthcoming.
Yeah, definitely something we could draw profit from...
[ ] Research Dino Domestication (Jumba)
DC 80 (Reduced by XP)
57+38+38+30+5=168
Critical Success
Jumba had no idea terrestrial reptiles got so big on this planet! Oh sure, he wasn't working with the big ones now, but the thought of all the fun he could have once he cracked the basic 'don't eat your handlers' issue was more than enough to keep him trucking forwards. It was a bit of a novel experience for him to inhibit violence gene markers, but he understood the reasoning, and made it his personal mission to genetically domesticate the beasts while still leaving a 'primal ferocity' switch in there for when things needed to get interesting. By all accounts, he seems to have succeeded.
When you assigned some interns to make sure the aggression had been properly bred out of them, you discovered a very useful fact: by using already existing domesticated genomes, Jumba had also bred in traditional pet behavior. With a bunch of velociraptors, miniature stegosauruses, and saurolophuses that act like cats, dogs and horses, you did the obvious thing and started marketing them as pets. Public opinion of your science divisions has understandably increased, with the mood on the street reportedly being summed up as 'sweet'.
Dinosaur Farming action unlocked! Dinosaur Entertainment action unlocked! Domesticate Large Herbivores action unlocked! Dinosaur Cavalry action unlocked! Environmental Adaptations action unlocked!
Public opinion moderately increased!
Dinosaur Cavalry DC lowered!
A very fortunate outcome indeed.
Dinosaur Farming sounds like cattle to me, meaning that we can get dino meat on the plates of our people (even if only as luxury goods) which will help counteracting the possible PR malus for refusing Toffees corn deal.
Speaking of PR, that moderate public opinion boost might help our rather concerning low value there as well.
Entertainment and Large Herbivores are nice-to-haves, although animal rights activists might take offense at us for turning dinos into circus/zoo attractions.
Dino Cavalry just smells of a good synergy with giving Khana worthy steed...to say nothing of the general coolness of DINO CAVALRY
I am not quite sure what "Environmental Adaptions" are, but maybe it can feed nicely into our Greevil line? Definitely not bad regardless
[ ] Research adaptive anti-cape AI (Von Drake)
DC 100
27+38+40+4=109
Bare Success
Von Drake had a devil of a time deciphering the design documents from the Kronos Corporation and figuring out how they applied to AI, but she managed it eventually. These programs are responsible for the omnidroids' effectiveness when combatting enhanced individuals. After enough exposure they are able to predict movements, adapting to novel power sets on the fly and share combat data amongst themselves, getting better with every generation. This adaptive improvement will likely be vital to more general AI advancements.
All future combat AI production will have adaptive combat protocols.
Understanding of AI increased!
Research AI DC and Research AI Dopplegangers (AI) DC decreased!
Bit annoying, that Von Drake "only" barely suceeded, but she still pulled through in the end...so we can make progress in the fields of AI regardless.
[ ] Do a tarot reading (Tobe and the Vagabond Ninja)
DC 45 (Reduced by XP)
99+0+10+1=110
Critical Success
To be continued in Interlude: What Hides Behind the Golden Fan
We're getting something very special prepared for this. It'll take us a little while to get prepped up, so this interlude may take some time to come out, but we hope it'll be worth the wait.
"The cards, the cards...
The cards will tell-
your past, present and future as well"
...Yes, I KNOW that the villain/King I just referenced is part of Classics and any "cross-pollution" is heavily frowned upon for *reasons*, but it was just too good a quote to pass up.
I am definitely interested in what we´ll be getting to know here regardless.
[ ] Set aside money for the auction
DC 0
40+24+8+1=73
Success
"A Penny Saved Is a Penny Earned", or so Dr. Diminutive's mother said. While they certainly did not appreciate such a banal task, L.O.V.E.M.U.F.F.I.N. does seem to have done a perfectly good job at setting aside money for the upcoming auction without affecting any of your active business ventures.
Moderate decrease to income!
Increase to money set aside for the Auction!
*Shrugs*
They might not particularly like being relegated to mere accounting duty, but they still did a good job at it regardless.
So in the end, we shouldn´t be running outta "pocket change" during the auction, which is nice should anything particularly luxurious catch our fancy.
[ ] Chat with the Bossman (Janna)
100
To be continued in Interlude: You Can Cleave Something Together...
The perfect time to score a Nat 100 imho, since while I am happy that Janna kept us from doing something dumb, we are still her BOSS and therefore we are entitled to an explanation.
[ ] Read your spellbook
33
With all the other things you had to do these couple months, you had limited time to read your spellbook, but knowing the value of having at least a rudimentary understanding of magic before the auction you were able to get a couple chapters finished before bed. You're making progress, but you're not quite there yet.
Reward revealed: Doof gains a (low) occult stat (120/150)
Since we keep scoring rather low on that action, maybe we should consider getting Malfishmertz´ help here?
[ ] Look into the Dickens Detective Agency
63
The Dickens Detective Agency is… interesting. They're not as dysfunctional as your family, as shown by the fact that they can still live under the same roof, but things are definitely not well in the Dickens household. While they normally would not be interested in doing work for a known purveyor of villainy, job opportunities are very limited and the Dickenses have sleuthing in their blood. As long as you don't ask them to do anything clearly evil, you think they'll take you up on the offer.
The Commodore has been added to your hero cards!
Charlotte Dickens-Johnson added to your hero cards!
Hire the Dickens Detective Agency has been added to your personal actions! By hiring the Dickenses, you will lose some Income but, in return, gain an extra Intrigue action for the turn and a skilled Intrigue hero to do it for you. For now, the hero will only perform that one action before leaving again. If you hire the Dickenses a lot, or manage enough of a rapport with them, they might eventually choose to stay on in a more permanent fashion!
Hmmm...definitely something to consider, especially considering that I really want us to double down on profiting from Dooms Intrigue malus against us.
I am not saying that we should lob the Dickens Agency at Doom directly, just that having them do something non-evil some other place will free up an Intrigue slot against Doom for doing some more shady stuff than they might be comfortable with.
Clever outsorcing of needed work, you know?
[ ] Browse online for interesting stories
81
While clicking around Buzztube aimlessly, you came across a series of children's videos by 'edutainment' performer Wendy Wower. It wouldn't have held your interest for very long, except as you went through the delightful songs like 'I Love Science', 'The Theoretical Elements' Song, 'Decision Trees' and 'Quantum Funsics', the woman actually seems to be well-versed in a huge variety of sciences, especially robotics. Looking up her record, it seems like she had top marks at SFIT for her first few years before dropping out in what should have been the last year of her Doctorate in Advanced Robotics. Whatever went wrong, this might be an opportunity for you to fix it… and take advantage.
Wendy Wower has been added to your Rolodex!
I was told that Wendy is a pretty good AI researcher. Considering that our progress in that regard has been...sub-par, we might wanna hire her to address that field more properly (especially since CJ and/or Norm might benefit from it)
[ ] Get a social security number
82
Temujin waited in line for five hours, growing increasingly irate with the inefficient bureaucracy this country had to offer, before he was finally given a string of digits that apparently meant something to the government. 618-58-A113. What a pathetic number. Why wasn't he granted 000-00-0001?
While he might be a bit disappointed in his pick of numbers, this will probably help Temujin integrate into the modern world a lot easier. Plus, if you ever need to take him out of the country, you can do so legally now. You won't need to worry about trying to pass him off as a wax statue, or hiding him in a comically large suitcase, or some other equally wacky shenanigans.
Definitely something to profit from, shouldwe need Khan somewhere else (including maybe on that Xanadu quest?)
Plus having our top Martial guy officially registered might placate the government further...small boon if nothing else.
[ ] Reorganize OWCA
57
Major Monogram spent more of his time attempting to reorganize OWCA into something that better resembles a functioning unit. It was hard to train past behaviors that had been ingrained for years, and even harder to train agents to react to criminals that were entirely unlike mad scientists. Fortunately, he managed to find a new batch of recruits and worked on integrating them as quickly as possible! (Reward: 127/250)
Yeah, that one will take some time no matter what we´ll do...so I am not taht concerned either way.
[ ] Psychoanalyze Dr. Doofenshmirtz
75
As seen in: Doctor to Doctor (Canon)
Personal actions relating to Doof's own hangups and mental issues are now (very slightly) more likely to go well.
Should help us adress actions like burying the hatchet with Roger and introspection about Norm (and now CJ as well) a bit better if nothing else.
To anyone saying we should continue doing that option every now and then, I think Technor and Doof will be continuing their sessions off-screen without our direct input. That action in my mind is more of a "initialize First Contact/adress explicitly pressing matters" kinda deal.
[ ] Do Good Deeds
43
Hego spent some time going around the city and helping out anyone who needed it. Thanks to your recent efforts in cracking down on crime there wasn't all that much to take care of, but he still appreciated the chance to help people. There haven't been any major cape incidents ever since the Inquinator did the whole trash golem thing, so Hego mostly helped people with their everyday problems, tackled a petty mugger or two, and saved even more cats from trees. Seriously, there were a lot of cats up in trees.
Considering there is apparently a...catnip drug ring...going on in Doofanias animal undergound, Hego might have indirectly interfered there without knowing...
We might wanna keep an eye out on that front.
[ ] Bond with Dad
59
Max spent some quality time with his dad, taking a road trip across the country to visit New Osaka and see the sights. Fortunately they managed to avoid most of the cape crime in the area and even stopped by Vegas for a night or two to see the shows.
Could have been better, but it definitely helped both father and son with their bond, so I am happy.
[ ] Job shadow Doof
37
Vanessa was supposed to job shadow you these past few months, but unfortunately her time was spent elsewhere. She didn't manage to get much shadowing done at all. She spent a few days watching you go around and review your employees, but much of her time was spent hanging out with her friends or just browsing online.
...Don´t I know the allure of procrastination when important stuff is to be done.
A pity, but can´t be helped
[ ] Try to be sociable
91
Lizzy made an earnest attempt to socialize over these past few months, but having no real idea what she was doing, just chose a random coworker and started talking to them about ants.
That coworker was Janna.
Against all odds, Lizzy chose perhaps the only person in the city who not only didn't mind her behavior but approved of it. The two of them spent an entire afternoon going over the ways in which various ant species could kill a human. Janna really seemed to appreciate having someone to talk to about her interests, and seemed noticeably more composed and back to her usual self despite the stress she's under. Lizzy, likewise, was deeply shocked, and is now wondering if the whole 'socialize' thing was this easy all along. They've already made plans to 'hang out' more in the future. You're happy… but also scared.
Lizzy gains a small loyalty boost now that she has a real friend in Doofania!
Janna's mental health is now slightly better than it was before!
Lizzy gains 2 Diplomacy!
And Janna continues to be our MVP, even on angles nobody expected.
Lizzy getting better is definitely good for us all around.
A part of me is convinced Doof is a toon or somehow has toon in his bloodline somewhere
Would at least explain how he survived that shitshow he calls a "backstory" and came out *Relatively* well-adjusted (if frustrated, yearning for aknoledgment and incredibly petty)
Miniature Triceratops.
The horns give it an advantage in charging.
Counterpoint:
Mongols of the time were *harassers*, meaning that they excelled at hit-and-run attacks to wear down the enemy.
Triceratops aren´t realy built for that...now, Utahraptors on the other hand...