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DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest

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Honestly, I kind of want to see Reuben do some legitimate sandwich research. The human race has been making sandwiches since 1762. That is a paltry 258 years of experimentation using an extremely narrow pallet of ingredients and there has hardly even been any honest mad science directed at the art at all. We have not yet experienced the sandwich.

Shaved turkey is a fine thing on a well constructed sandwich, yes, but what about coney-fed velociraptor? And that is day one, minute one. By the end of this there will be theoretical physics and metaphysics involved. We shall have the platonic sandwich.

But, more practically, we already own one small restaurant franchise. Why not a far more successful one as a subsidiary of ours? You try and tell me that it wouldn't pay itself back within a few months once the public tastes something designed by a sandwich-building biological supercomputer who has wholly dedicated himself to the dark art. Each bite would be better than sex.
 
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Modus_Tollens said:
Honestly, I kind of want to see Reuben do some legitimate sandwich research. The human race has been making sandwiches since 1762. That is a paltry 258 years of experimentation using an extremely narrow pallet of ingredients and there has hardly even been an honest mad science directed at the art at all. We have not yet experienced the sandwich.

Shaved turkey is a fine thing on a well constructed sandwich, yes, but what about coney-fed velociraptor? And that is day one, minute one. By the end of this there will be theoretical physics and metaphysics involved. We shall have the platonic sandwich.

But, more practically, we already own one small restaurant franchise. Why not a far more successful one as a subsidiary of ours? You try and tell me that it wouldn't pay itself back within a few months once the public tastes something designed by a sandwich-building biological supercomputer who has wholly dedicated himself to the dark art. Each bite would be better than sex.
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Doofenshmirtz Evil sandwich shop

Your one stop shop for the most diabolicaly tasty sandwichs in the known galaxy!
 
Votes closed!
Adhoc vote count started by QTesseract on Aug 3, 2020 at 2:34 PM, finished with 198 posts and 69 votes.
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Modus_Tollens said:
But, more practically, we already own one small restaurant franchise. Why not a far more successful one as a subsidiary of ours
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You know, we should really let Hego go back to Bueno Nachoes just to ensure our one employee hasn't died in the grease.

edit: I don't know why you think I'm joking considering the unsure mystery of Ron Stoppable's death by food here.
 
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RookDeSuit said:
You know, we should really let Hego go back to Bueno Nachoes just to ensure our one employee hasn't died in the grease.
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Fair. Though I kind of wonder if our... experimental alternative meat sources injure the flavor of the cuisine there at all. Crickets and nutria rodents... honestly, any flavor difference would probably be lost under the deluge of sensation. Business is probably already booming for them for the first time in a long while.

I've kind of been assuming he's had to extinguish the place at least once since we recruited him.
 
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Modus_Tollens said:
Fair. Though I kind of wonder if our... experimental alternative meat sources injure the flavor of the cuisine there at all. Crickets and nutria rodents... honestly, any flavor difference would probably be lost under the deluge of sensation. Business is probably already booming for them for the first time in a long while.

I've kind of been assuming he's had to extinguish the place at least once since we recruited him.
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Parts of Bueno Nacho have been constantly burning for at least the past eleven years, just like the Centralia mine fires.
 
Cjdavis103 said:
of course hot dogs and Bratwurst are Sandwiches as well ( well legally in New York they are not sure if the two and a half state area shares the same sandwich legal code)
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Sailor_Skarro said:
We have a Backstory Grudge against hot dogs. There will only be *Doofenshmirtz Quality Bratwurst.~* for sale in our sandwich shop.
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Yeah, I was referencing the episode where Doof specifically tries (and ultimately fails) to make bratwurst more popular than the hot dog.
 
Cjdavis103 said:
well now he can outlaw hotdogs in the 2 1/2 state area and promote the bratwurst through the Doofenshmirtz evil Sandwich shop
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He doesn't need to. Hotdogs probably cost five times more. You will put down a little extra horseradish mustard and relish if it means that kind of savings.

We can probably throw more mad science at the food problem anyway.
 
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By the way guys, if we manage to make up with Roger, what do you think the chances are we could get him as a Diplo/Stewardship Hero?
 
Nix's Warden said:
By the way guys, if we manage to make up with Roger, what do you think the chances are we could get him as a Diplo/Stewardship Hero?
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It seems likely, although in fairness making up with Roger could also lead to a trait, like maybe doing something about our hand being in a bowl of mints :p. I'd want to take it anyway at some point for character development purposes even with no benefit, but most personal actions seem to lead to something.
 
QTesseract said:
It seems likely, although in fairness making up with Roger could also lead to a trait, like maybe doing something about our hand being in a bowl of mints :p. I'd want to take it anyway at some point for character development purposes even with no benefit, but most personal actions seem to lead to something.
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making up with roger should probably raise our diplo right?
 
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Addendum: Company Retreat Vote
  • Threadmarks
    • Hego has set up a company retreat for all of your employees to enjoy. It's shaking up to be the swankiest dig imaginable, and centered in Acapulco, retreat of choice for villains everywhere. This promises to be a weekend to remember. All of your heroes have been invited, and now have a chance to enjoy some real RnR. What are they going to do with their new free time?

    Since you crit, you've earned an interlude! Unfortunately I can't title that interlude until I know what happens in it. And that… is up to you.

    This is going to be a positive interlude. Since you crit on the retreat, positive things will be more positive when you roll for them and I'll attempt to weave this all together into some sort of coherent narrative. You don't need to worry about getting Syndrome'd.

    [ ] Do some home gardening
    Sure, all the Japanese maples make the place look different from back in Spoonerville, but the concept is still the same, right? Do some gardening, take a load off, and maybe grow some food that isn't produced in a vat.

    [ ] Finish your degree online
    The incident at the X-Games pretty quickly put an end to your plans for a degree. Fortunately all sorts of colleges offer online degrees now, and you've got just enough time to try and finish one! Not only would this make you feel better about yourself, it might have some actual effects on your job, too!

    [ ] Find Mickey
    Mickey has dropped off the grid recently. Donald has too, but at least you heard a lead that he might be down in Peru. While you got a Christmas card from the both of them this last year, you're not sure where Mickey is, exactly. Now that your living situation is a little more secure you can devote some time to finding your old friend.

    [ ] Look into Pete
    Your old... well, maybe 'friend' is pushing it. Neighbor? Your old neighbor has dropped off the grid as well without so much as a goodbye. While that does sound like him you're sure he'd at least give you a call to gloat about something, but so far there's been no communication. Take a look into what he's doing now that his car dealership is long gone.

    [ ] Get an apartment
    Temujin is now fluent in English, but he's not accustomed to the way the modern world works. He can work on changing this one bit at a time. Finding a place of his own to live is a good start.

    [ ] Get a social security number
    Sure, they only work for the US Government and don't matter in the Sovereign Nation of Doofania, but he might have to do some traveling in the future.

    [ ] Study history
    Temujin has missed hundreds of years of history since he was revived and only touched upon the barest of basics in his studies of the English language.

    [ ] Study science and technology
    Technology has advanced an incredible degree since the 13th century. Maybe, with enough effort, Temujin can understand all the intricacies of modern tech.

    [ ] Practice Mongolian Throat Singing
    Music is a universal language. The world will listen to the song of Khan's people, and the memory of the steppes will live on. Tengri knows what will come of this.

    [ ] Find a new steed
    A Mongol without his horse is a Mongol without his soul. Find a mount worthy of the Khan of Khans. The results of this option will depend on what sort of creatures you currently have access to.

    [ ] Spend time with Road Runner
    You buried the hatchet with your old nemesis. Why not hit the town?

    [ ] Personally oversee ACME product testing
    While you no longer have the title of CEO, you are still technically in charge of ACME. It behooves you to oversee the process of making sure ACME products maintain the standard of quality they are known for.

    [ ] Set up a trap
    If there is one thing you and Doof have in common, it is a love of trapmaking. Why not throw together some sort of impressive imprisonment and see what comes of it?

    [ ] Take an acrobatics course
    You may be… getting on in years, but that doesn't mean you can't still try for your true passions! Dreams don't have an expiration date. But life does, so better get cracking.

    [ ] Reorganize OWCA
    It... it really hurts you to say it. It really does. But if OWCA's going to be... working for Doof, then you need to make some serious changes to how you organize missions, how you decide what's worth fighting, and where you base yourselves out of. It's high time you get yourselves out of the same building as those muffinheads.

    [ ] Practice Musical Theatre
    No one must know.

    [ ] Complete a mission for the government
    At the end of the day, Agent Russ is here on the behalf of the government. Sometimes the Feds need him somewhere else.

    [ ] Spy on Doof
    Agent Russ has technically been ordered to do what you tell him to unless it endangers national security more than it already has been. Practically though, his main goal is to see how dangerous Doof really is, and if the government needs to divert more resources to him. This action may reduce the government's threat assessment of Doof and increase Russ' loyalty… or the opposite, depending on what Russ sees Doofensmirtz doing.

    [ ] See a musical
    Agent Russ must have at least one interest outside of his job. You think you caught him slipping away to the Danville Performing Arts Center recently… This option may let you learn more about Agent Russ, and also see what is happening Off-Broadway right now.

    [ ] End your obsession with platypodes
    Norm's internal circuitry is still based around a single, fundamental, platypus hunting core. This limits his usefulness in non-platypus related areas. Attempting to rewire your own circuits is a dangerous activity, but Norm is determined to be the best Norm he can be. The better your AI technology is, the more likely this is to improve things and not make them worse.

    [ ] Follow Father around
    Norm's desire to help and please his creator knows no bounds. Practically, this means he spends a lot of time just watching you. He may end up helping you with whatever you're working on at the time, or even learn a thing or two from you.

    [ ] Try to become a Real Boy
    Norm's most fervent, secret desire is to be a real boy. Maybe if he wishes on a star hard enough, it will come true.

    [ ] Search for Donald
    Just because you found a brilliant lead on where Donald might be doesn't mean you should stop looking everywhere else!

    [ ] Visit Little Toontown
    A whole street in Doofania has become a new center of Toon life in the Rocky Mountains. You'd like to go and see.

    [ ] Make Sandwiches
    You're going through them at an alarming rate. Better build up a backlog!

    [ ] Manage Bueno Nacho
    Your civilian identity has been Bueno Nacho's top performing manager for six years running, and you're not about to rest on your laurels just because you're the only manager in existence right now.

    [ ] Try Talking to Shego
    Somewhere, deep down, you know your sister has some good in her. Somewhere. Deep down. Maybe you can find it!

    [ ] Do Good Deeds
    Go around Doofania looking for people to help! Assist old ladies with crossing the street, get cats down from trees, maybe even stop a robbery or three! The people will love you!

    [ ] Psychoanalyze
    The first step to recovery is admitting Technor is right about everything. Despite the megalomania, Technor is a qualified therapist. Send him to talk to one of your employees to make sure they're still within two standard deviations of mental health. This can shed light on their issues or even reduce the burden of their manias for a short while!
    [ ] Which employee?

    [ ] Build a giant robot body
    It's been too long since you've had some time to make a bigger body for yourself! Use your free time to construct a body worthy of TECHNOR, THE MECHANICAL MAN!

    [ ] Build giant robot arms
    Your robot body can't very well get anything done without arms, now can it?! Devote some time to constructing the arms!

    [ ] Build giant robot legs
    How can your giant robot stomp all over your enemies without legs?! Floating robots just don't have the same impact!

    [ ] Bond with Dad
    Ever since that Road Trip back in senior year, Max has made it a point to occasionally spend time with his dad. He's a real Goof, but he means well, and a little bit of boring fishing every now and again is a small price to pay. Just NO MORE POSSUM PARK. This will make Goofy very happy.

    [ ] Go to see a Powerline concert
    Getting to be on stage with Powerline was the highlight of your high school experience. Powerline has had an unexpectedly long shelf life for such a gimmicky act, so why not check out one of his concerts again? Who knows, he might even remember you.

    [ ] Hang out with the other teenagers
    Your new internship has a bunch of other youths in it. Spend some time hanging out and getting to know them better.

    [ ] Look into wayward supers
    You understand the tactics involved in finding supers that shy away from the limelight. There are limits to how far you're willing to go in order to uncover a super that doesn't want to be found, but your talents might do some good. Finding a villain who needs to be stopped or a hero at the end of their rope. You'll monitor the news for anything of note and report back to Doof.

    [ ] Reinforce Kronos Corp Contacts
    There are still people in Kronos that know you, and that means there are levers to be pulled.

    [ ] Watch El Matador de Amor

    Doofenshmirtz introduced you to it a few months ago. It's a guilty pleasure.

    [ ] Go to a rave
    Vanessa's personal life revolves around whatever her friend group considers 'In' at the moment. Right now that is apparently New Wave Dungeon Punk Electronica, or something. You can meet all sorts of people at a concert.

    [ ] Job shadow Doof
    Vanessa doesn't have much planned at the moment, but Doof is insistent she get some practical experience. What better way to prove credentials than to learn from a CEO/Dictator/Mad Scientist? This may end up improving Vanessa's willingness to work for you, or even actually succeed at increasing her skills.

    [ ] Prep for college
    Vanessa needs to be thinking about her future, and that means SAT courses and stat boosts. Hopefully.

    [ ] Bother Doof
    Your new 'evil' boss is, and this is saying something, the weirdest person you've ever met. You're not sure if you want to troll him mercilessly or just stare at him for a few hours.

    [ ] Prank your Coworkers
    Ancient Mongolian warlords. Stuffy secret agents. Pompous supervillains. Exasperated interns. DEI is a smorgasbord of potential targets. This is gonna be fun.

    [ ] Disappear for Two Months
    You got better places to be, and they ain't anyone else's business.

    There will be a three hour moratorium on voting. Please vote in plan format.
     
  • Threadmarks
    • I think we should have Vanessa go to a Rave, have max hang out with his coworkers, and have Janna annoy her co workers so we can have an interlude with the three teens at a rave. It'll be fun!
     
    Not gunna lie. I really want to see the hilarity of Khan doing Mongolian Throat Singing, Monogram doing his Musical Theatre, and Russ doing his Musical as well. Its sounds like a perfect time for some classical musical Disney magic.
     
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