The records say that Max kid did an entire spy network on his own. I asked him, and he seemed just as confused, but also thought he did it alone. Could you imagine?
Presenting: A mini-omake or something, titled "No, That Was Not His First Day".
[...]
"We and Mr. Moseby were just discussing Doctor Doofenshmirtz' unusual staffing directives." Carl said.
"Oh! You mean like that time he put Vanessa in charge of reviving the dinosaurs. Or how he's asked me to help repair the sentient robot."
"Sir, I'm pretty sure he doesn't want you anywhere near Sinatron."
"Don't crush my dreams, Carl!" Monogram replied.
"So this is… common." Moseby half-asked.
"Our first job was performing a tarot reading seance." Tobe said.
"WILL YOU GET OUT OF HERE!?!!" Moseby bellowed.
"Sheesh. I just forgot my thermos."
"What about you?" Moseby asked, turning to Max. "Surely not everyone here has a mad tale to tell."
"I mean I don't like to complain." Max said modestly.
"Well-"
"Ok if you insist. It was awful!" Max groaned. "You just barely started working here?"
"Yes?"
"I'm so sorry."
Moseby blinked. "I'm sorry?"
"No, he's sorry." Monogram said.
Max sighed. "When I first started working here, Doof sent me to a hick suburb to, and I quote, 'poke around'. I ended up being tormented for hours on end by the most sadistic devil girl I have ever had the misfortune to suffer under-"
"Hi Max."
"Hi Janna."
"Talkin' about me?"
"Yeah."
"Cool."
Max shook his head once Janna passed. "And then, I was sent on a two-month expedition to the other side of the world! Twice!"
Moseby balked. "Well I should hope your parents had something to say about that!"
"Yeah, Dad decided to come with me!" Max grumbled. "Is it really that much to ask that things just stay quiet for a little while?"
"Yeah, Dad decided to come with me!" Max grumbled.
Moseby boggled. "Does your father
often accompany you into situations of great peril?"
"There's not really a good answer to that." Monogram commented.
"No, just the once." Max answered.
"No?"
"Gah!" Max yelped.
"Sorry." Janna said, not looking sorry as she stepped out from behind Monogram and his pile of clothes. "Don't you remember that time when you and your dad went to visit your hometown but then barely escaped with your lives from an ambush by Negaduck and one of his minions?"
Moseby, not without trepidation, raised an eyebrow. "Did that.. actually happen?"
Max shrugged. "I remember it, but I figured it was a nightmare or something. There's no way we could really have gotten away from Negaduck."
"Well, it couldn't have been a nightmare," Janna stated, "I remember you and Goofy driving out, and then you came back without your van."
Moseby was, unfortunately for him, not yet speechless. "Let me see if I understand the situation. Your father is
Goofy. And he works
here."
("So how
did they come back?" Monogram questioned.)
Max grinned slightly, not really noticing it. "He doesn't just
work here. He's one of Doof's top men. Chief.. something or other."
(Janna's smug, carefree smile wobbled, like a Jenga tower that didn't
look like it was about to fall. "Told you. Without their van." she quipped.)
Moseby began visibly sweating. "And in addition to that, Negaduck has taken a
personal interest in the two of you."
"No, the minion was the one with the personal interest," Max reassured him. "And he was so incompetent I bet Negaduck made good on his threat to get rid of him."
===
You are the terror that flaps in the night. You are the tinderbox in the prairie of public sentiment. You are the slingstone aimed at the window of peace. You are (a) Negaduck!
You are contemplating your plan, to the extent that you have one. You've factored in the other Negaduck by now, and the Fearsome Five know their adjusted roles, but you can't help but think that you've forgotten to give someone something to do...
"So what are we going to do to Goofy?"
Oh, right. Your lacking lackey. The Extremist.
Young blood these days, you grumble to yourself internally, and prepare to explain the plan to him for the millionth time.
===
Max paused. "Why do I feel like I ought to know why I'm suddenly worried?"
Monogram and Janna glanced at each other.
"Because you jinxed it and he's probably plotting against you as we speak?" Janna suggested.
"I was afraid of that." Moseby said with a grimace and a slight tilt of the head. "I should get going, I have a meeting with my supervisor. I will admit, this is beginning to concern me slightly."
"Do you want some words of reassurance?"
"That would be helpful."
"I'll tell you if I think of any."
Mr Moseby frowned.
===
===
You sit behind your desk, hands folded in front of you. "So, Mr. Moseby. You are the new hire I have heard so much about.
Moseby sat in front of your desk, sweat stains visible across his white pressed shirt.
"Yes sir! Good to meet you sir!"
"Are you all right, Mr. Moseby? You seem a bit tense."
"I'M FINE." Moseby screamed. "Just… eagerly anticipating my first assignment."
"Ahhhh yes." you say, pulling a folder out from your desk. "I've thought long and hard about what to begin your employment with, Mr. Moseby. A task of monumental importance and complexity, a task even I would shudder to take on directly."
Mr. Moseby made a vaguely eeplike noise, closed his eyes, and braced.
"I want you to buy a food chain for me!"
Mr. Moseby blinked. "Hubba-whah?"
"Yeah, you know Doc Hoppers? The frog legs? Man, the famine sure did weird things to our national palette, didn't it? Anyway, I need someone to manage the acquisition. Negotiate rates, sign contracts, project earnings. And other things Mirage wrote down for me to say!" You say, holding up your cue cards.
"I uh… I see."
"Oh no, do you not like it?" You ask. "I knew I should have offered the Interdimensional Portal project-"
"No! Nope! Nonono!" Mr. Moseby leapt forward, arms flailing above your desk. "No no, this is perfectly fine, thank you!"
"Oh no, do you not like it?" You ask. "I knew I should have offered the Negaduck investigation project-"
Mr. Moseby screamed.
