DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
[X] Plan: ACME Lobby
[X] Plan: Personal Pragmatics
Moseby is looking very promising.
[X] Plan: Personal Pragmatics
Moseby is looking very promising.
- Location
- Germany
Tbh, I am more than a little annoyed at how one-note "pillaging barbarian from the East" Temujins Personality was laid out.
Not denying that he caused a lot of destruction and suffering (although the whole "enough to noticeably affect Humanitys carbon foot print" bit kinda ignores that said foot print used to be a lot smaller pre-Industrial Revolution, meaning that you´d need to do not as much to "noticeably affect it" proportionally), just saying that - as callous as it may sound - socio-politically *it was a different time back then*, especially in the Far Asian steppes, where desolate bands of nomads vied for meagre ressource - meaning that you could get a way with far more cruelty *Because it was the only feasibly way*. That and while Genghis genuinely had little patientce for outright insubordination or diplomatic dickishness, until that happened he was a surprisingly reasonable leader who gave his subject a lot of leeway as long as they aknowledged him as their ultimate liege and sought unity aobve all else. So, @Made in Heaven @Arathnorn , in my mind this would be closer to how "Temmy" would actually be:
[ ] Genghis Khan
'Speak softly and carry a BIG stick'
Genghis Khan is a remnant of a bygone era, where Might made Right and your rule was only ever as meaningful as the strength of your armies and the sturdiness of your infrastructure. While he is quickly catching up to the notion that the modern age defines a "powerful and strong rule" along some additional and more obtuse criteria such as "public opinion" and while he has always been willing with granting others quite some leeway as long as they didn´t question his ultimate rule, he is still quick to assert his dominance by force whenever it is openly challenged. With that in mind, you should expect Temujin to vote for options that openly strengthen your rule and lash out violently at slights against it.
There, a far more nuanced and less "Red Flag" portrayal that still pays tribute to who Genghis Khan was
- Location
- Germany
Your point being?
I imagine that him gaining a more nuanced understanding of the Shadowrun-y world he's found himself in is locked behind learning about history.
- Location
- Everywhere
Well, might as well change my vote to the other options I'm willing to accept
[X] Plan: Transhumanist ACME
[X] Plan: Transhumanist ACME
- Location
- USA
Here is my thought process for recruitments and council in the next 4-6 turns.
Our next recruit needs to be someone we can use as the 4th black ops member. Red Feather is that and also a good diplo and intrigue unit which helps our temporary lack in those stats.
If hero restructuring succeeds, then we recruit Miley Ray Stewart in January so Red Feather can focus on intrigue and/or personals.
The turn after that recruit another intrigue unit (Matt Bluestone? Jean Pierre Napoleon? Pizza Cats? Naughty Kitty? Sirque? Roman?) so we will have someone ready to replace Red Feather when we put her on the black ops team, and just give us more leeway to do some Red Feather or Mezmerella personal actions before black ops. Perhaps hanging out with Juniper? Making her the heart of the team that is friends with everyone. (Hypothetically, this recruit could be the 4th black ops member if we find a more fitting one, allowing us to keep Red Feather as a flex diplo intrigue unit.).
By then the mech should finish and we can do black ops. Technor, Juniper, Mez, and Red Feather.
The next thing would be to recruit an amazing steward (Rebeca Cunningham? Francine?) to either replace Janus with after we've done his transhumanist actions, or to be a really good steward hero with Moseby as the councilor, so we can have the best of both worlds with an amazing steward councilor and hero unit. If we don't want to replace Janus for whatever reason, than this recruit also lets Moseby do personal actions occasionally, and should be better than our other steward heroes.
Once Janus is off the council, we should heroball him with Jumba.
And lastly, we'll want to recruit another martial unit that either replaces Wiley as councilor, or is close enough to Khan in stats to justify putting Genghis on the council. Wiley is probably better as a quest leader generalist and flex hero unit in general than he is as a marital councilor. (Goof-Garou) could be great at this, is another Goofy, and would double as an occult hero unit. Another potential powerful option for this, especially if we recruited (Roman) as the intrigue unit above, is (JONESY) and (Q1-11) and heroballing them because they make up members of a pre-established team and each have 3 martial stars in addition to some other stats. Q1-11 is also a sapient robot so that could be interesting, having a sapient AI with a combat focus could enable him to become a general for our normbots or something.
Our next recruit needs to be someone we can use as the 4th black ops member. Red Feather is that and also a good diplo and intrigue unit which helps our temporary lack in those stats.
If hero restructuring succeeds, then we recruit Miley Ray Stewart in January so Red Feather can focus on intrigue and/or personals.
The turn after that recruit another intrigue unit (Matt Bluestone? Jean Pierre Napoleon? Pizza Cats? Naughty Kitty? Sirque? Roman?) so we will have someone ready to replace Red Feather when we put her on the black ops team, and just give us more leeway to do some Red Feather or Mezmerella personal actions before black ops. Perhaps hanging out with Juniper? Making her the heart of the team that is friends with everyone. (Hypothetically, this recruit could be the 4th black ops member if we find a more fitting one, allowing us to keep Red Feather as a flex diplo intrigue unit.).
By then the mech should finish and we can do black ops. Technor, Juniper, Mez, and Red Feather.
The next thing would be to recruit an amazing steward (Rebeca Cunningham? Francine?) to either replace Janus with after we've done his transhumanist actions, or to be a really good steward hero with Moseby as the councilor, so we can have the best of both worlds with an amazing steward councilor and hero unit. If we don't want to replace Janus for whatever reason, than this recruit also lets Moseby do personal actions occasionally, and should be better than our other steward heroes.
Once Janus is off the council, we should heroball him with Jumba.
And lastly, we'll want to recruit another martial unit that either replaces Wiley as councilor, or is close enough to Khan in stats to justify putting Genghis on the council. Wiley is probably better as a quest leader generalist and flex hero unit in general than he is as a marital councilor. (Goof-Garou) could be great at this, is another Goofy, and would double as an occult hero unit. Another potential powerful option for this, especially if we recruited (Roman) as the intrigue unit above, is (JONESY) and (Q1-11) and heroballing them because they make up members of a pre-established team and each have 3 martial stars in addition to some other stats. Q1-11 is also a sapient robot so that could be interesting, having a sapient AI with a combat focus could enable him to become a general for our normbots or something.
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
All good picks, though I think we're pretty much set for Stewardship and don't need Rebecca that badly. I'd also like to recommend Vladimir Keitawa again as a strong intrigue unit with some synergy with Tobe even if we decide not to use him on Black Ops.
I do love the idea of heroballing Roman and the other two Lionhearts, as a group they'd only take up one slot and should have just jacked martial to replace Khan as our hero once he joins the council.
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Starting with just the immediate future, I think your plans have potential. But a few other things.
First, we should put Juniper on recruiting Red Feather. As you said, she can be the heart of the team potentially, and we want to see how they gel together.
Second, the turn after we get Red Feather, we should put our planned Black Ops team on the Declaration of Independence Quest. That way, we can be sure that they'll work well together personality wise.
Third, I guess Miley works, but I'm hoping we can find some better Diplo unit. She's a good placeholder, at least.
I just want to plug the Samurai Pizza Cats and Francine as units to rotate into the martial/Diplo in a couple of turns. The samurai Pizza Cats have good intrigue and martial and would probably also be good independent questing units. Francine would probably work with them, potentially be another manager to slide in especially in the food market if we're trying to grab Hoppers, and her statline means we can use her as a Diplo/Stewardship/potentially learning flex unit.
- Location
- USA
Your first two points I agree with, but the 3rd I don't. Mirage specifically said our branding needs an uplift and that Miley would be great to do that.
Branding and PR are totally different things. A good PR unit might be great at stopping public outcry at our mistakes but might not be very good at branding / selling our products.
I'll add Francine with Cunningham and Pizza Cats with the big list of Intrigue units.
Skelekump Inator (Positive):
You were looking further into probability related sciences, and decided to try something to LOWER the odds of major events happening instead. In this case, failure. Nat 1s will not result in an automatic critfail this turn!
Skelekump Inator (Negative):
...Darn reverse switch. Nat 100s will NOT explode this turn!
You were looking further into probability related sciences, and decided to try something to LOWER the odds of major events happening instead. In this case, failure. Nat 1s will not result in an automatic critfail this turn!
Skelekump Inator (Negative):
...Darn reverse switch. Nat 100s will NOT explode this turn!
De-lag inator (positive)- no longer will you lose because of something as simple as input delay!
+3 to an action that would improve from less lag. Your internet connection becomes slightly better.
De-log inator(negative) - the amount of paperwork you've had to deal with has made you realize how many copies you have to make of every form. This inator was made to remove the extraneous copies but it seems like you went a little too far…
-3 to a stewardship action as you have to find backups for various forms. The line for the office printer is going to be backed up for a bit.
+3 to an action that would improve from less lag. Your internet connection becomes slightly better.
De-log inator(negative) - the amount of paperwork you've had to deal with has made you realize how many copies you have to make of every form. This inator was made to remove the extraneous copies but it seems like you went a little too far…
-3 to a stewardship action as you have to find backups for various forms. The line for the office printer is going to be backed up for a bit.
Interlude: The Balance of Things
- Location
- Pennsylvania
When Mirage had dispatched the unpredictable spirit Doctor Doofenshmirtz 'employed' to attempt to establish actual ties with the leadership of New York's magical community, she had perhaps done so with the expectation that the fox's mysterious nature hid a deep understanding of the supernatural world and the beings within it.
This was entirely wrong.
The Kitsune took a sip of boba tea as the underground whizzed by on thunderous rails. It never ceased to delight, the whimsical things humans created when she wasn't looking. The teeming mass of humanity had slowly petered out as the subterranean conveyance had traveled its route, leaving only a single slumbering hippy who was quickly chivvied off the train by security guards who might or might not understand the real reason they were doing so. Shortly after only a handful remained, and the vehicle began to pick up speed.
Kitsune completely failed to react as a bandage-wrapped man removed his coverings to reveal a nonexistent face and a stray cat resolved itself into a six foot tall griffin. The end of the track approached, then seemed to shimmer, a multicolored portal accepting the trait with hardly a whisper. A few moments later it rolled to a stop, and Kitsune stepped out to behold… well.
The Bazaar was nearly unique upon the American continent. Bereft of room within the city for the magical community to grow north or south, up or down, it had instead grown in other directions. Rows of pagoda-topped constructions curved up towards the sky, cobblestone roads running at right angles to reality. Streets of half-timbered houses hung in the air, taking gravity or even the horizon itself as a mere suggestion. A massive orb hung in the sky, changing colors with every passing hour as its own desires seemed to dictate. Countless stalls from magical cultures across the world hawked their wares, visited by even more innumerable species gathered in one place. Oni mingled with harpies, wizards and witches plied a hundred different traditions of spellcasting, and all under the unknowing nose of the mundane world.
According to the brochure the security guard gave her, anyway. From the ground, it simply appeared to be another city, though perhaps a bit more three-dimensional with the traffic.
The Mirage had insisted an appointment be made, unfortunately, but there was still time to experience. It had been a century since Kitsune had interacted with significant communities steeped in magic, and never this one, where the Shatterer had of late made his home.
There were a few stalls with fascinating compounds and interesting devices, magical items of rare make, fortune-teller's tents, cursed baubles, forbidden tomes. A poutine stand.
It was a shame she had forgotten to bring any kind of money. Not even the little black card the apothecary provided.
Oh well.
She could attempt more ancient ways of gaining what she wanted, of course, but here and now there were people whose livelihoods depended upon seeing through illusions and enchantment. Perhaps she could trade rarer things, but she did not particularly want to abandon her ability to see the color blue, or the first time she had heard a baby's cry. Besides, she would have to find a currency exchange.
Instead, she wandered, taking in the sights. She had plenty of time to spare, after all.
===
The Hall of the Patrician was an odd complex, dominated by a large cerulean tower which rose above (or, depending on one's position, below) the streets of the Bazaar in an attempt to project careful custodianship and wise benevolence. But the sheer disuse much of the building faced gave lie to at least part of that image; only a fraction of it seemed occupied, the rest roped off and empty, smelling of stillness. Kitsune knew near to nothing of how the Patrician ruled, but she supposed she would sort it out as she went along. There were guards, at least, dressed in thick and possibly enchanted leathers and carrying large wooden staves which she assumed could be used for more than hitting their targets. They bade her wait in the slightly bored, slightly threatening manner of civic security operatives the world over, ushering her into a room with walls of engraved marble and gilden pillars.
She took a seat in one of several squat modernist armchairs, feeling the false leather crinkle underneath her. There was an air of sadness to it, the kind of forlorn perfunctoriness normally to be found in banks, at least according to Janna. The guards seemed to share in it, a malaise of general dissatisfaction and boredom hanging over them as they shuffled between their posts in dull bureaucracy.
Bereft of anything else to look at, she examined the carvings upon the walls, which seemed to chart a tale of the mighty Long and their custodianship over the world. Nothing she had not heard before, so she sought other entertainment. The low table in front of her contained only an outdated copy of Squire magazine (Top 3 Uses for Pixie Dust!).
…Perhaps she should buy a phone. Come to think of it, she may have been given one for free by Apothecary when she had first met him. If she remembered correctly, Janna used hers to impersonate minor government officials.
"The Patrician… will see you now." one particularly nameless guard intoned, thumping their staff upon the ground.
She took a moment to examine her hand, making sure the fingernails were morphed right. It was always the littlest things that set mortals off. "Very well then." She smiled in a manner that could, technically speaking, be considered diplomatic.
There was a pause.
One of them coughed.
"He uh… he's over there."
One pointed.
===
Kitsune walked into the room, a long carpet terminating with two men flanking a large pearwood desk. Their descriptions can wait, however, because between them was a boy with his feet up on the wood.
The moment he realized they were no longer alone, the boy attempted to put his feet down on the floor so quickly that they would have retroactively not been on the table when Kitsune first walked in. The end result of this was the boy twisting violently, and then falling to the floor with a yelp.
A moment of utter silence passed, as the two men on either side of him seemed almost to be carved of stone. Then the boy popped back up again, mop of unruly brown hair bouncing cheerfully, and planted his hands onto his hips.
"Hi. I'm in charge."
"Are you now." Kitsune retorted automatically.
"Uhhh… Yep. That's… what I just said."
"Childe!" One of the two men declared. She didn't know what that word meant, but recognized the tone. He was a diminutive man, nearly dwarflike, with a massive beard white as mountain snow hanging well below his belt. He wore a deep blue robe with patterned sleeves, tied by a simple sash. The voluminous sleeves disguised his hands even as they clasped ahead of him. He spoke again in a gentle Hong Konger accent. "You address the chosen representative of the Sorcerous and Magical Communities within the city of New York. Patrician of the Magus Bazaar! Maximilian Russo!"
"Pssst!" The boy of perhaps sixteen years whispered, quite loudly, into the elder's ear. "Isn't it like… kinda rude to call her a kid? She's older than I am."
The man groans.
"You are more right than you know… honored Patrician. This is a Child of Titania, the Third Race, the Fair Folk."
"...Nope. Not ringing any bells."
"For heaven's sake!" The man complained. "They are one of the most profoundly magical beings upon the face of the planet, told in song and story! One of the few beings able to match a dragon dram for dram! I have instructed you in this."
Kitsune Occult Check: Who is this beleaguered old man?
DC 85
45+23+15=83
Bare Failure
Kitsune's senses hackled slightly at the sight of the small man. Unsurprising, perhaps, that one would find a magical being here in the halls of their power. He hid the tells of his nature well, a mark of his age and no doubt experience. A Naga perhaps…no, given his words, a dragon most likely.
The man on the other side of the table chuckled darkly before Kitsune could fully consider this knowledge. "Give it a rest, Lao Shi. You're never going to make it stick."
"And yet I must try." He sighed ruefully. "We did not expect this… Doofenshmirtz…" Lao Shi said the name with no small amount of confusion, "to send one of your kind to us. Nonetheless be welcome in these halls, if you plan no mischief."
Kitsune held a hand to her mouth, not quite masking a smile.
The other man snorted again. He was huge, built up with the sort of musculature that comes only from continuous effort. A well tailored suit could not quite contain the swell of his upper body, bulging skin that made the small hat strung onto his belt seem almost comically undersized. Perhaps that was why he was not wearing it upon his entirely bald head.
"I am as he says." Lao Shi began again. "Lao Shi, protector of magical creatures. And this man is called Marrok, representative of… other powers."
"You can say 'Morganian', old man." Marrok replied in a gravelly drawl. "It won't hurt my feelings."
"I see." Kitsune responded, hoping they'd continue bickering both for the information and for the entertainment. If nothing else, watching the boy's eyes bounce between his two advisors could keep her here for another hour.
"So, uhhhhhh…" Max, for Kitsune considered not for a moment the boy would use his full name, began anew. "You… wanted something, right? Something about a pharmacy?"
Kitsune paused at his question, the amount of avenues of entertainment momentarily paralyzing her. "Perhaps I am merely here to see the state of the Bazaar for myself."
"Oh, hold on!" Max said, and ran out of the room. This was apparently a fairly normal occurrence, as neither of the two elders paused at his leaving. A moment later he came back. "Don't worry, it looks fine. Same as last time I checked."
At that, Kitsune couldn't help but giggle.
"Did I make a joke by accident again?" He asked.
"How delightful. What a charming little leader you are." Kitsune leaned a little closer, a mist filling the air behind her.
"How about this? You may ask me three questions, and I will answer them for you."
Marrok paused for a moment, then rolled his eyes. "Fey."
Max beamed. "Oooh, like a question genie! Ok, I'm game."
He thought for a moment. "Ok, so. Who are you?"
The trickster grinned. "Why, I am Kitsune, of course."
"What's that?" Max asked instantly.
"You do not follow the lores much, do you?"
"Listen lady, I just work here." He looked at Lao Shi for a moment, then once again slipped into that odd little whisper of his. "And I'm not very good at that, either."
"If you were to follow the tales of men, you would hear that the Kitsune is a yokai, a fox spirit. Some would call them tricksters, others guardians. Why, some would even claim to make lovers of…"
Kitsune looked down to see the boy's eyes completely glazed over. She blinked.
"...so you're a fox." Max said slowly.
"Of a kind." Kitsune settled on a smirk.
"You don't look like a fox."
A cloud of smoke burst from the spirit, enveloping the room for a moment. When the fog cleared, Max found a crimson fox standing on his desk, claws digging into the varnish.
"Hey, watch the pearwood lady!" Marrok complained.
"That is an antique!" Lao Shi agreed, for once united with his counterpart. He then paused to take in the situation. "A kitsune… I see. This certainly explains your behavior."
"Oh man, that's so cool!" Max declared. "I had a dog that was a dragon once. We had to win him back from this scam artist, and we had to convince my dad, but then he was our family pet forever!"
Max's brow furrowed.
"...whatever happened to him?"
Kitsune, unable to resist anymore, pawed Max in the face. "One more question."
"Waff tha' my question?" Max asked, muffled behind the paw.
Marrok slammed one meaty hand into his face with enough force to cripple a lesser man.
"Because I am kind," Kitsune said, and Lao Shi raised an eyebrow skeptically at her words, "you may try once more."
"Okay, okay, gotta think of something good." Max said, gently leaning back and letting the paw fall back to the table. He folded his arms. He shut his eyes. And thought.
And thought.
And thought.
Marrok and Lao Shi both shifted uncomfortably as the silence grew, yet did not intervene.
Kitsune smiled.
Max's eyes popped open. "Ok, I got it."
"Go on."
Max raised his hands.
"So. You're Titania's Kids? All of you?" Kitsune nodded, but before she could open her snout Max barreled forwards. "Does she… get around a lot?"
The two representatives of the most powerful magical factions in the nation say nothing. Violently.
"No."
"Oh."
"You are lucky you have not been smote where you stand, Maximilian! To say such things to a Childe could be taken as dire insult!"
Max turned to Kitsune. "Hey, are you insulted?"
"You have no more questions to ask, little Patrician."
"But I need to know if you're insulted." Max said earnestly, as if he thought he was actually explaining something. "Otherwise I can't apologize."
The fox paused as she made to leap off the desk. "You are free to consider yourself forgiven."
Max blinked.
Lao Shi sighed. "You realized you could have simply asked me to clarify the nature of the Children. I have told you many times."
"...Oh yeah!" Max brightened up.
Lao Shi sighed again. "The Children of Titania, or the Third Race as they are also called, take their name from their reigning monarch. As each one dies or fades from power, the next takes up the mantle. Titania, and her husband Oberon before her, and…" Lao Shi clutched a small talisman around his neck. "His mother before him."
"His mother?" Max asked.
"Shut your mouth, kid." Marrok advised.
"Queen Mab is dreaming, and with any luck she will remain dreaming." Lao Shi said. "Now, to the matter at hand. Max, what have you managed to glean of the Kitsune's will? He asked, clearly attempting to lead the boy further.
"She's a fox and she wants to see the bazaar!"
"This has been fun," Marrok grumbled, sarcasm evident, "but we have other business to attend to. Why are you here?"
Kitsune stretched, yawning, then hopped off the table and began ambling toward the door.
"Fffffffu-" Marrok began, before a sharp look from Lao Shi sent his tack changing slightly. "Ffffey."
"It appears this Doofenshmirtz is rather lax in his choice of emissary… if indeed he has actually sent you." Lao Shi added.
"Aw c'mon, don't go already!" Max said, sounding rather put-out. "Your answers are so much better than Mr. Shi's."
"My family name is not-" The old man halted himself and pressed a palm to his forehead.
"Oh? Then what would you care to offer in exchange for my attention?" Kitsune's grin, already as vulpine as can be, took an almost feral turn.
"Uhhhh-" Max rifled in his pockets for a moment. "I got three quarters and a half-filled card for my dad's sub shop. Winner of the best mayonnaise recipe three years running. We use store brand, don't tell anyone."
Before Kitsune could form a response, a guard slammed open the chamber doors.
"What is the meaning of this?" Lao Shi demanded, sweeping forward in a single fluid motion.
"Pardons elder, there's a pack of goblins re-enacting West Side Story in the atrium!"
"What?" Lao Shi asked.
"The movie with all the snapping?" Max asked.
"Snapping?!?" Lao Shi cried. "Ai-yah. We are not having another goblin rebellion while I am still alive. Lead me!"
"Sounds like a mess." Marrok noted.
"You are coming with me." Lao Shi replied.
A note of warning entered Marrok's voice. "You don't tell me what to do, old man."
"It is the Morganians who brokered the deal, was it not? Would you prefer I negotiate my own?"
"This wouldn't be a problem if we'd accepted Sykes' offer." Marrok growled. "Fine. I'll clean up your mess." He spared a glance for Kitsune as he left. "There had better not be another one when I get back."
Lao Shi grimaced for a moment at the thought of leaving Max alone. "Guards, protect the Patrician while we are gone."
The gaggle of guards stationed outside the chamber nodded, straightening where they stood.
With that, the two men swept from the room, heavy doors closing behind them with a resounding slam.
"Ok, look, I'm going to level with you." Max said, leaning forward over the desk and spreading his hands. "I have no idea what I am doing. I don't even know how I got here. I was doing this thing with my wand, and then I landed on a car, and then those two were there and they asked me some questions, and then I was the Patrician."
"And you have found yourself stuck in the spot ever since." Kitsune, having switched back to her disguise form, ran a hand alongside the display cabinet, eyeing the treasures within.
"Oh heck no, I love it here." He said, putting his feet up on the desk again. "All I have to do is sit here and listen to an old man tell me things. There aren't even standardized tests! I haven't been asked to go to school in five months."
"How comfortable."
"I figure as long as I listen to what the dragon grandpa and the scary wizard say, I can more or less just coast for a while and let this whole thing play out."
"And when the end comes?" Kitsune stared into the glass.
"Ok which apocalypse are you talking about because there's like, three of them Mr. Shi is trying to prevent. …And I think one of them Marrok is trying to make happen? Mostly I think he just wants money."
"And no concern for what will occur to you, yourself?"
Max squinted as if the very idea was difficult for him to fathom. "Who's gonna wanna kill me? I'm not sure if you've noticed, I'm pretty easy to manipulate." He said, nodding gormlessly.
"Perhaps they would seek to take the seat of Patrician for themselves."
"Hrmmm." Max put a hand to his chin, obviously giving it thought for the first time. "Well… Oh! My family has access to like, a super powerful magical artifact." He replies, pulling out a short, unadorned wand and waving it around. "I can basically make up any nonsense I want and it'll work as a spell. Look!"
Turning towards a small bonsai potted in the corner of the room, Max raised his wand and declared: "Bonsai, bonsee, uh… come alive and dance for me!"
A bolt of light and a cheap sound effect emanated from the wand, and a moment later the ancient bonsai pruned through generations uprooted itself with an ugly snapping of roots and began performing a dance best left undescribed.
"I just came up with that on the spot." Max said smugly.
Kitsune quirked an eyebrow. "How convenient." She tilts her head, expression inscrutable. "Are you familiar with the name Oberon?"
Max's face went slack as all available focus went to remembering the recent past. "Oh yeah. He was like, your last Emperor Thing."
"Of a kind. He ruled for over a millenia. Ancient and omnipotent."
"Hold on. I'm still with you, but you're gonna have to use smaller words."
"His power is to that within your wand as yours is to an ordinary mortal."
"Cool got it, super strong. How'd he die then?"
"He was stabbed through the heart by David Xanatos, and his head was cut from his shoulders. Killed by a mortal man with an iron spear."
Max came up short. "Oh. That's pretty heavy."
"I suppose." Kitsune turned away from Max, idly tracing the cabinet's filigree. "I will ask again. What would you do when the end comes?"
Max struggled for a few moments to discern her meaning. "I dunno, die, probably?"
Kitsune blinked.
He paused, waving his hands in front of himself once again as if it aided in his thinking. "I got no idea what's going on like, 95 percent of the time. Like, one time we were fighting werewolves? And then there were angels? I dunno, after I turned fifteen things got really unfocused."
Max marshaled his thoughts once more, a strenuous task. "Point is, the whole thing with the Morganians? The Bizarre? I have like, zero chance of affecting any of that. Why not just relax and enjoy the ride?"
"How…very interesting." The smile crawled back onto Kitsune's face. "This conversation has been most entertaining, Max Russo."
"Cool.
"So uh… what did you actually want?" Max asked once another moment had passed.
Kitsune tossed Max a business card. "Why, to sell coffee machines, of course."
"Oh, okay." The card slapped him in the forehead. "Ow."
As the fox walked away, Max examined it more closely.
"Huh. Heinz."
He scratched his head.
"Like the ketchup."
===
Point of contact with the Magus Bazaar established!
Patrician of the Magus Bazaar is Max Russo- a 17 year old boy and blatant puppet.
Two main factions vie for control of the Bazaar- the Morganian sorcerers, represented by the musclebound Marrok, and the traditional protectors of magical kind, represented by Luong Lao Shi.
EDIT: I closed the vote by mistake. The vote is still open!
This was entirely wrong.
The Kitsune took a sip of boba tea as the underground whizzed by on thunderous rails. It never ceased to delight, the whimsical things humans created when she wasn't looking. The teeming mass of humanity had slowly petered out as the subterranean conveyance had traveled its route, leaving only a single slumbering hippy who was quickly chivvied off the train by security guards who might or might not understand the real reason they were doing so. Shortly after only a handful remained, and the vehicle began to pick up speed.
Kitsune completely failed to react as a bandage-wrapped man removed his coverings to reveal a nonexistent face and a stray cat resolved itself into a six foot tall griffin. The end of the track approached, then seemed to shimmer, a multicolored portal accepting the trait with hardly a whisper. A few moments later it rolled to a stop, and Kitsune stepped out to behold… well.
The Bazaar was nearly unique upon the American continent. Bereft of room within the city for the magical community to grow north or south, up or down, it had instead grown in other directions. Rows of pagoda-topped constructions curved up towards the sky, cobblestone roads running at right angles to reality. Streets of half-timbered houses hung in the air, taking gravity or even the horizon itself as a mere suggestion. A massive orb hung in the sky, changing colors with every passing hour as its own desires seemed to dictate. Countless stalls from magical cultures across the world hawked their wares, visited by even more innumerable species gathered in one place. Oni mingled with harpies, wizards and witches plied a hundred different traditions of spellcasting, and all under the unknowing nose of the mundane world.
According to the brochure the security guard gave her, anyway. From the ground, it simply appeared to be another city, though perhaps a bit more three-dimensional with the traffic.
The Mirage had insisted an appointment be made, unfortunately, but there was still time to experience. It had been a century since Kitsune had interacted with significant communities steeped in magic, and never this one, where the Shatterer had of late made his home.
There were a few stalls with fascinating compounds and interesting devices, magical items of rare make, fortune-teller's tents, cursed baubles, forbidden tomes. A poutine stand.
It was a shame she had forgotten to bring any kind of money. Not even the little black card the apothecary provided.
Oh well.
She could attempt more ancient ways of gaining what she wanted, of course, but here and now there were people whose livelihoods depended upon seeing through illusions and enchantment. Perhaps she could trade rarer things, but she did not particularly want to abandon her ability to see the color blue, or the first time she had heard a baby's cry. Besides, she would have to find a currency exchange.
Instead, she wandered, taking in the sights. She had plenty of time to spare, after all.
===
The Hall of the Patrician was an odd complex, dominated by a large cerulean tower which rose above (or, depending on one's position, below) the streets of the Bazaar in an attempt to project careful custodianship and wise benevolence. But the sheer disuse much of the building faced gave lie to at least part of that image; only a fraction of it seemed occupied, the rest roped off and empty, smelling of stillness. Kitsune knew near to nothing of how the Patrician ruled, but she supposed she would sort it out as she went along. There were guards, at least, dressed in thick and possibly enchanted leathers and carrying large wooden staves which she assumed could be used for more than hitting their targets. They bade her wait in the slightly bored, slightly threatening manner of civic security operatives the world over, ushering her into a room with walls of engraved marble and gilden pillars.
She took a seat in one of several squat modernist armchairs, feeling the false leather crinkle underneath her. There was an air of sadness to it, the kind of forlorn perfunctoriness normally to be found in banks, at least according to Janna. The guards seemed to share in it, a malaise of general dissatisfaction and boredom hanging over them as they shuffled between their posts in dull bureaucracy.
Bereft of anything else to look at, she examined the carvings upon the walls, which seemed to chart a tale of the mighty Long and their custodianship over the world. Nothing she had not heard before, so she sought other entertainment. The low table in front of her contained only an outdated copy of Squire magazine (Top 3 Uses for Pixie Dust!).
…Perhaps she should buy a phone. Come to think of it, she may have been given one for free by Apothecary when she had first met him. If she remembered correctly, Janna used hers to impersonate minor government officials.
"The Patrician… will see you now." one particularly nameless guard intoned, thumping their staff upon the ground.
She took a moment to examine her hand, making sure the fingernails were morphed right. It was always the littlest things that set mortals off. "Very well then." She smiled in a manner that could, technically speaking, be considered diplomatic.
There was a pause.
One of them coughed.
"He uh… he's over there."
One pointed.
===
Kitsune walked into the room, a long carpet terminating with two men flanking a large pearwood desk. Their descriptions can wait, however, because between them was a boy with his feet up on the wood.
The moment he realized they were no longer alone, the boy attempted to put his feet down on the floor so quickly that they would have retroactively not been on the table when Kitsune first walked in. The end result of this was the boy twisting violently, and then falling to the floor with a yelp.
A moment of utter silence passed, as the two men on either side of him seemed almost to be carved of stone. Then the boy popped back up again, mop of unruly brown hair bouncing cheerfully, and planted his hands onto his hips.
"Hi. I'm in charge."
"Are you now." Kitsune retorted automatically.
"Uhhh… Yep. That's… what I just said."
"Childe!" One of the two men declared. She didn't know what that word meant, but recognized the tone. He was a diminutive man, nearly dwarflike, with a massive beard white as mountain snow hanging well below his belt. He wore a deep blue robe with patterned sleeves, tied by a simple sash. The voluminous sleeves disguised his hands even as they clasped ahead of him. He spoke again in a gentle Hong Konger accent. "You address the chosen representative of the Sorcerous and Magical Communities within the city of New York. Patrician of the Magus Bazaar! Maximilian Russo!"
"Pssst!" The boy of perhaps sixteen years whispered, quite loudly, into the elder's ear. "Isn't it like… kinda rude to call her a kid? She's older than I am."
The man groans.
"You are more right than you know… honored Patrician. This is a Child of Titania, the Third Race, the Fair Folk."
"...Nope. Not ringing any bells."
"For heaven's sake!" The man complained. "They are one of the most profoundly magical beings upon the face of the planet, told in song and story! One of the few beings able to match a dragon dram for dram! I have instructed you in this."
Kitsune Occult Check: Who is this beleaguered old man?
DC 85
45+23+15=83
Bare Failure
Kitsune's senses hackled slightly at the sight of the small man. Unsurprising, perhaps, that one would find a magical being here in the halls of their power. He hid the tells of his nature well, a mark of his age and no doubt experience. A Naga perhaps…no, given his words, a dragon most likely.
The man on the other side of the table chuckled darkly before Kitsune could fully consider this knowledge. "Give it a rest, Lao Shi. You're never going to make it stick."
"And yet I must try." He sighed ruefully. "We did not expect this… Doofenshmirtz…" Lao Shi said the name with no small amount of confusion, "to send one of your kind to us. Nonetheless be welcome in these halls, if you plan no mischief."
Kitsune held a hand to her mouth, not quite masking a smile.
The other man snorted again. He was huge, built up with the sort of musculature that comes only from continuous effort. A well tailored suit could not quite contain the swell of his upper body, bulging skin that made the small hat strung onto his belt seem almost comically undersized. Perhaps that was why he was not wearing it upon his entirely bald head.
"I am as he says." Lao Shi began again. "Lao Shi, protector of magical creatures. And this man is called Marrok, representative of… other powers."
"You can say 'Morganian', old man." Marrok replied in a gravelly drawl. "It won't hurt my feelings."
"I see." Kitsune responded, hoping they'd continue bickering both for the information and for the entertainment. If nothing else, watching the boy's eyes bounce between his two advisors could keep her here for another hour.
"So, uhhhhhh…" Max, for Kitsune considered not for a moment the boy would use his full name, began anew. "You… wanted something, right? Something about a pharmacy?"
Kitsune paused at his question, the amount of avenues of entertainment momentarily paralyzing her. "Perhaps I am merely here to see the state of the Bazaar for myself."
"Oh, hold on!" Max said, and ran out of the room. This was apparently a fairly normal occurrence, as neither of the two elders paused at his leaving. A moment later he came back. "Don't worry, it looks fine. Same as last time I checked."
At that, Kitsune couldn't help but giggle.
"Did I make a joke by accident again?" He asked.
"How delightful. What a charming little leader you are." Kitsune leaned a little closer, a mist filling the air behind her.
"How about this? You may ask me three questions, and I will answer them for you."
Marrok paused for a moment, then rolled his eyes. "Fey."
Max beamed. "Oooh, like a question genie! Ok, I'm game."
He thought for a moment. "Ok, so. Who are you?"
The trickster grinned. "Why, I am Kitsune, of course."
"What's that?" Max asked instantly.
"You do not follow the lores much, do you?"
"Listen lady, I just work here." He looked at Lao Shi for a moment, then once again slipped into that odd little whisper of his. "And I'm not very good at that, either."
"If you were to follow the tales of men, you would hear that the Kitsune is a yokai, a fox spirit. Some would call them tricksters, others guardians. Why, some would even claim to make lovers of…"
Kitsune looked down to see the boy's eyes completely glazed over. She blinked.
"...so you're a fox." Max said slowly.
"Of a kind." Kitsune settled on a smirk.
"You don't look like a fox."
A cloud of smoke burst from the spirit, enveloping the room for a moment. When the fog cleared, Max found a crimson fox standing on his desk, claws digging into the varnish.
"Hey, watch the pearwood lady!" Marrok complained.
"That is an antique!" Lao Shi agreed, for once united with his counterpart. He then paused to take in the situation. "A kitsune… I see. This certainly explains your behavior."
"Oh man, that's so cool!" Max declared. "I had a dog that was a dragon once. We had to win him back from this scam artist, and we had to convince my dad, but then he was our family pet forever!"
Max's brow furrowed.
"...whatever happened to him?"
Kitsune, unable to resist anymore, pawed Max in the face. "One more question."
"Waff tha' my question?" Max asked, muffled behind the paw.
Marrok slammed one meaty hand into his face with enough force to cripple a lesser man.
"Because I am kind," Kitsune said, and Lao Shi raised an eyebrow skeptically at her words, "you may try once more."
"Okay, okay, gotta think of something good." Max said, gently leaning back and letting the paw fall back to the table. He folded his arms. He shut his eyes. And thought.
And thought.
And thought.
Marrok and Lao Shi both shifted uncomfortably as the silence grew, yet did not intervene.
Kitsune smiled.
Max's eyes popped open. "Ok, I got it."
"Go on."
Max raised his hands.
"So. You're Titania's Kids? All of you?" Kitsune nodded, but before she could open her snout Max barreled forwards. "Does she… get around a lot?"
The two representatives of the most powerful magical factions in the nation say nothing. Violently.
"No."
"Oh."
"You are lucky you have not been smote where you stand, Maximilian! To say such things to a Childe could be taken as dire insult!"
Max turned to Kitsune. "Hey, are you insulted?"
"You have no more questions to ask, little Patrician."
"But I need to know if you're insulted." Max said earnestly, as if he thought he was actually explaining something. "Otherwise I can't apologize."
The fox paused as she made to leap off the desk. "You are free to consider yourself forgiven."
Max blinked.
Lao Shi sighed. "You realized you could have simply asked me to clarify the nature of the Children. I have told you many times."
"...Oh yeah!" Max brightened up.
Lao Shi sighed again. "The Children of Titania, or the Third Race as they are also called, take their name from their reigning monarch. As each one dies or fades from power, the next takes up the mantle. Titania, and her husband Oberon before her, and…" Lao Shi clutched a small talisman around his neck. "His mother before him."
"His mother?" Max asked.
"Shut your mouth, kid." Marrok advised.
"Queen Mab is dreaming, and with any luck she will remain dreaming." Lao Shi said. "Now, to the matter at hand. Max, what have you managed to glean of the Kitsune's will? He asked, clearly attempting to lead the boy further.
"She's a fox and she wants to see the bazaar!"
"This has been fun," Marrok grumbled, sarcasm evident, "but we have other business to attend to. Why are you here?"
Kitsune stretched, yawning, then hopped off the table and began ambling toward the door.
"Fffffffu-" Marrok began, before a sharp look from Lao Shi sent his tack changing slightly. "Ffffey."
"It appears this Doofenshmirtz is rather lax in his choice of emissary… if indeed he has actually sent you." Lao Shi added.
"Aw c'mon, don't go already!" Max said, sounding rather put-out. "Your answers are so much better than Mr. Shi's."
"My family name is not-" The old man halted himself and pressed a palm to his forehead.
"Oh? Then what would you care to offer in exchange for my attention?" Kitsune's grin, already as vulpine as can be, took an almost feral turn.
"Uhhhh-" Max rifled in his pockets for a moment. "I got three quarters and a half-filled card for my dad's sub shop. Winner of the best mayonnaise recipe three years running. We use store brand, don't tell anyone."
Before Kitsune could form a response, a guard slammed open the chamber doors.
"What is the meaning of this?" Lao Shi demanded, sweeping forward in a single fluid motion.
"Pardons elder, there's a pack of goblins re-enacting West Side Story in the atrium!"
"What?" Lao Shi asked.
"The movie with all the snapping?" Max asked.
"Snapping?!?" Lao Shi cried. "Ai-yah. We are not having another goblin rebellion while I am still alive. Lead me!"
"Sounds like a mess." Marrok noted.
"You are coming with me." Lao Shi replied.
A note of warning entered Marrok's voice. "You don't tell me what to do, old man."
"It is the Morganians who brokered the deal, was it not? Would you prefer I negotiate my own?"
"This wouldn't be a problem if we'd accepted Sykes' offer." Marrok growled. "Fine. I'll clean up your mess." He spared a glance for Kitsune as he left. "There had better not be another one when I get back."
Lao Shi grimaced for a moment at the thought of leaving Max alone. "Guards, protect the Patrician while we are gone."
The gaggle of guards stationed outside the chamber nodded, straightening where they stood.
With that, the two men swept from the room, heavy doors closing behind them with a resounding slam.
"Ok, look, I'm going to level with you." Max said, leaning forward over the desk and spreading his hands. "I have no idea what I am doing. I don't even know how I got here. I was doing this thing with my wand, and then I landed on a car, and then those two were there and they asked me some questions, and then I was the Patrician."
"And you have found yourself stuck in the spot ever since." Kitsune, having switched back to her disguise form, ran a hand alongside the display cabinet, eyeing the treasures within.
"Oh heck no, I love it here." He said, putting his feet up on the desk again. "All I have to do is sit here and listen to an old man tell me things. There aren't even standardized tests! I haven't been asked to go to school in five months."
"How comfortable."
"I figure as long as I listen to what the dragon grandpa and the scary wizard say, I can more or less just coast for a while and let this whole thing play out."
"And when the end comes?" Kitsune stared into the glass.
"Ok which apocalypse are you talking about because there's like, three of them Mr. Shi is trying to prevent. …And I think one of them Marrok is trying to make happen? Mostly I think he just wants money."
"And no concern for what will occur to you, yourself?"
Max squinted as if the very idea was difficult for him to fathom. "Who's gonna wanna kill me? I'm not sure if you've noticed, I'm pretty easy to manipulate." He said, nodding gormlessly.
"Perhaps they would seek to take the seat of Patrician for themselves."
"Hrmmm." Max put a hand to his chin, obviously giving it thought for the first time. "Well… Oh! My family has access to like, a super powerful magical artifact." He replies, pulling out a short, unadorned wand and waving it around. "I can basically make up any nonsense I want and it'll work as a spell. Look!"
Turning towards a small bonsai potted in the corner of the room, Max raised his wand and declared: "Bonsai, bonsee, uh… come alive and dance for me!"
A bolt of light and a cheap sound effect emanated from the wand, and a moment later the ancient bonsai pruned through generations uprooted itself with an ugly snapping of roots and began performing a dance best left undescribed.
"I just came up with that on the spot." Max said smugly.
Kitsune quirked an eyebrow. "How convenient." She tilts her head, expression inscrutable. "Are you familiar with the name Oberon?"
Max's face went slack as all available focus went to remembering the recent past. "Oh yeah. He was like, your last Emperor Thing."
"Of a kind. He ruled for over a millenia. Ancient and omnipotent."
"Hold on. I'm still with you, but you're gonna have to use smaller words."
"His power is to that within your wand as yours is to an ordinary mortal."
"Cool got it, super strong. How'd he die then?"
"He was stabbed through the heart by David Xanatos, and his head was cut from his shoulders. Killed by a mortal man with an iron spear."
Max came up short. "Oh. That's pretty heavy."
"I suppose." Kitsune turned away from Max, idly tracing the cabinet's filigree. "I will ask again. What would you do when the end comes?"
Max struggled for a few moments to discern her meaning. "I dunno, die, probably?"
Kitsune blinked.
He paused, waving his hands in front of himself once again as if it aided in his thinking. "I got no idea what's going on like, 95 percent of the time. Like, one time we were fighting werewolves? And then there were angels? I dunno, after I turned fifteen things got really unfocused."
Max marshaled his thoughts once more, a strenuous task. "Point is, the whole thing with the Morganians? The Bizarre? I have like, zero chance of affecting any of that. Why not just relax and enjoy the ride?"
"How…very interesting." The smile crawled back onto Kitsune's face. "This conversation has been most entertaining, Max Russo."
"Cool.
"So uh… what did you actually want?" Max asked once another moment had passed.
Kitsune tossed Max a business card. "Why, to sell coffee machines, of course."
"Oh, okay." The card slapped him in the forehead. "Ow."
As the fox walked away, Max examined it more closely.
"Huh. Heinz."
He scratched his head.
"Like the ketchup."
===
Point of contact with the Magus Bazaar established!
Patrician of the Magus Bazaar is Max Russo- a 17 year old boy and blatant puppet.
Two main factions vie for control of the Bazaar- the Morganian sorcerers, represented by the musclebound Marrok, and the traditional protectors of magical kind, represented by Luong Lao Shi.
EDIT: I closed the vote by mistake. The vote is still open!
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Remind me, did we ever confirm who the dream queen was?
Probably Nerissa, from WITCH, but nothing certain. Gargoylesverse Mab is known to exist and to be more powerful than Oberon, but there is nothing else about her other than the fact she is imprisoned somewhere.
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
I was considering it if Mirage didn't mollify Sinatron's concerns at the party.
- Location
- Pennsylvania
I made a small edit to the council mechanics, regarding a few traits that proc- Monogram's Lack of Agency in particular.
EDIT: I closed the vote by mistake! Votes are still open!
EDIT: I closed the vote by mistake! Votes are still open!
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- Location
- Germany
Since I have to Deal with technical Problems rn, my Analysis will have to weit until monday
