Crisis: Kataclysm- Katerwauling
- Location
- Pennsylvania
As your group takes to the streets to try and combat the feline menace plaguing your fair city, you have a great idea. What if… you used dance magic to combat the rampaging avatar? That would look really awesome if you pulled it off! You can already imagine the gigantic golem dancing down the street and destroying your enemies underfoot!
The scene outside DEI isn't nearly as chaotic as you were imagining. Oh sure, there are plenty of cats around wreaking havoc, but now that you look at it there's a method to their madness. They aren't just attacking things at random, there seems to be a distinctive pattern that you just haven't figured out yet.
Crossing the three blocks downtown to where the Avatar is rampaging goes off without so much as a skirmish. Poor Juniper is running around frantically trying to corral the two-story monster into causing as little damage as possible. "Sorry, Dr. D! I tried to get this thing under control but it really doesn't want to listen to me for some reason!"
"Eh, don't worry about it. It is some horrible ancient cursed magic artifact, so I can't blame you too much. What I can do is ask for your help in controlling this thing using dance magic!"
"How do I do that?!?"
"We'll figure something out!"
Occult Check: Control the Avatar using dance magic!
DC 105 needed
43+4+7+15 (Combos Chicas)=69 (nice)
Failure!
You pull out your phone for some appropriate music, strike a pose, and…
Nothing happens. You go through a few of the motions, wait for the refrain, and slip into a series of dance moves that hopefully look pretty cool. Temujin, for all of his talents, does not seem to be very good at dancing, and as good as Juniper is she can't carry the both of you. A few more moments pass before you finally give it up, feeling slightly dejected.
The golem continues flailing wildly, apparently not reacting to Juniper's attempts in any way.
"Aaaaaaaaahh!"
"Try a two step!" You suggest, but after a moment you give up. You will not be controlling the Avatar using dance magic, it seems.
Oh well. It's not like you don't have other options for dealing with the rampaging golem. Before you can even turn off the accompanying music Temujin is already scaling a nearby building with his spear in hand.
Martial Check: Take down the Avatar the old-fashioned way
DC 100
56+20+55+7+5=143
Great Success!
Temujin leaps from building to shoulder and then onto the Avatar's head, tricking the monstrosity into slapping itself in the face before piercing an important looking stone in the center of its face. The enormous statue slowly powers down, slumping to the ground with an enormous crash and filling the entire street.
The Avatar of Feldrake will require an Occult action to get working again!
Juniper climbs out of the cockpit looking very dizzy. "Did anyone get the number on that horse?"
"Well, that happened." You note with a touch of disappointment. At least it won't be causing trouble anytime soon. "Now, what's our next-"
There's an explosion somewhere deeper into town.
"Right, Cat invasion."
Martial Check: Protect the citizenry!
DC 45
62+20+55+7+5=149
Amazing Critical Success!
Your team splits up to help protect the good citizens of your fair Doofania. It's… actually not that hard! A few of the superpowered cats are playing with their food, but while their powers are formidable they're no match for Temujin. Most of the cats seem to be flying elsewhere, with none of them prioritizing attacks on civilians. This is good, since it gives you free reign to be seen by your loyal subjects magnificently saving them from the evils of feline invasion in your super cool mech suit. But it's also a concern, because… where are the cats?
---
Kat Martial Check: Disable the Power Plant
DC 120
91+36+35+20+5-29 (Paramilitary Mongol Corps)+15 (Doof split attention)=173
Spectacular Success!
Elsewhere in the city, a fleet of Normbots was torn to shreds under laser fire and diamond-tipped claws. The building they were guarding- the Danville Metropolitan Power Plant- was disabled in mere moments. Coal shipments were set on fire, water pipes were sliced in half, and electrical transformers were melted to slag.
Paramilitary Mongol Corps bonus decreases by 15! Your laser batteries are no longer online!
"Miaowr!" Kat declared viciously atop the wreck of the power plant's spire. His glorious legions were unstoppable, and with him spurring them forward (discounting a momentary break to chase down a bird and eat it, and another one to snatch a juicy looking fish carcass from the velociraptor feed tank), nothing could stop them!
Yes, absolutely nothing could go wrong!
"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU CRIMINAL KITTY!" the blustering fool in spandex declared.
Kat frowned. "Mmrrowwww." Now, of all times? Right at his moment of triumph?! Ugh. He was going to have to deal with this one personally. For all of the fool's bluster and impotent declarations, he was enhanced beyond the human norm, which meant that Kat might actually have to put a shred of effort into this.
How dreadful.
Snapping the fishbone he was sucking on with a gnash of his jaws, Kat took a second to appraise the imbecile. He didn't necessarily need him dead, so if he was willing to run off and cry somewhere, that would get the job done just as well.
With a single glance, a nearby eighteen wheeler was reduced to nothing more than a puddle of slag beneath a laser blast. The horrid stench of burning rubber drifted through the streets as the metal poured down the storm drains and set the grass on fire.
The histrionic half-wit was utterly nonplussed.
Fine. It looked like he'd have to get his paws dirty after all.
Ignoring his innate laziness for a moment, Kat sauntered forward, his tail swaying in the most threatening way possible. Exerting as little effort as he could, Kat shot out a laser blast aimed at Hego's knee.
Kat Martial Check: 32+36+35+20+5=128
Hego Martial Contest: 56+28-10-27(Zero)=47
Abysmal Critical Failure!
Hego screamed in pain as the blast tore through his suit in an instant and sent him crashing to his knees. Pathetic. All that was left would be a quick slice across the throat and-
"STOP!"
Kat blinked in confusion. From amongst his many cat minions, a black and white cat patterned like a pair of dress pants had leapt between him and the worthless super.
"I said stop, you horrid excuse for a kitten! Where do you get the nerve to attack someone so kind, so caring, someone who has done so much for felinekind? Why, but one month ago this benevolent hero saved me from a tree! And that wasn't the first time, no! Time and time again he went out of his day to save not only me, but several of you as well!"
Kat blinked. At least two members of his entourage seemed to recognize this nuisance.
"Tinkles! Snuffles! Surely you recognize him too, right?" Kat looked to his second in command, an arrogant white Persian who looked at Hego with nearly the same amount of disgust. "I am sorry, Kat! But I cannot stand by and let you hurt this man! I owe it to him to-"
---
"Meow meow meow mrow meow mrow mow!" the fluffy cat declared.
Hego blinked. What was happening?
Martial Check: Take advantage of this one last opportunity
DC 100
95+28-10 (Glory Daze)-27(Zero)+5(A Hero's Stand)=91
Bare. Failure.
Slowly, Hego pulled himself to his feet. He didn't understand what was going on. He rarely did. But someone… someone was standing up for him. Someone was looking death in the face and braving impossible odds. Someone was being a hero. He had to try.
As Hego rose to his feet, he began to speak. Somewhere, deep within him, was a sense that he was doing something wrong. The feeling was growing by the second. But old habits.
Die hard.
"Worry not, fair citizens, for I will take out this felonnnnnnnni…." An inkling of a memory arose in his head, of Roddy telling him to 'work on his material'. "Nnnnnnnn- waaaaait. I shouldn't just be monologuing! I need to-"
A blinding flash of red light burst from Kat's eyes. Hego watched as a charred, blackened corpse toppled to the ground.
The scene outside DEI isn't nearly as chaotic as you were imagining. Oh sure, there are plenty of cats around wreaking havoc, but now that you look at it there's a method to their madness. They aren't just attacking things at random, there seems to be a distinctive pattern that you just haven't figured out yet.
Crossing the three blocks downtown to where the Avatar is rampaging goes off without so much as a skirmish. Poor Juniper is running around frantically trying to corral the two-story monster into causing as little damage as possible. "Sorry, Dr. D! I tried to get this thing under control but it really doesn't want to listen to me for some reason!"
"Eh, don't worry about it. It is some horrible ancient cursed magic artifact, so I can't blame you too much. What I can do is ask for your help in controlling this thing using dance magic!"
"How do I do that?!?"
"We'll figure something out!"
Occult Check: Control the Avatar using dance magic!
DC 105 needed
43+4+7+15 (Combos Chicas)=69 (nice)
Failure!
You pull out your phone for some appropriate music, strike a pose, and…
Nothing happens. You go through a few of the motions, wait for the refrain, and slip into a series of dance moves that hopefully look pretty cool. Temujin, for all of his talents, does not seem to be very good at dancing, and as good as Juniper is she can't carry the both of you. A few more moments pass before you finally give it up, feeling slightly dejected.
The golem continues flailing wildly, apparently not reacting to Juniper's attempts in any way.
"Aaaaaaaaahh!"
"Try a two step!" You suggest, but after a moment you give up. You will not be controlling the Avatar using dance magic, it seems.
Oh well. It's not like you don't have other options for dealing with the rampaging golem. Before you can even turn off the accompanying music Temujin is already scaling a nearby building with his spear in hand.
Martial Check: Take down the Avatar the old-fashioned way
DC 100
56+20+55+7+5=143
Great Success!
Temujin leaps from building to shoulder and then onto the Avatar's head, tricking the monstrosity into slapping itself in the face before piercing an important looking stone in the center of its face. The enormous statue slowly powers down, slumping to the ground with an enormous crash and filling the entire street.
The Avatar of Feldrake will require an Occult action to get working again!
Juniper climbs out of the cockpit looking very dizzy. "Did anyone get the number on that horse?"
"Well, that happened." You note with a touch of disappointment. At least it won't be causing trouble anytime soon. "Now, what's our next-"
There's an explosion somewhere deeper into town.
"Right, Cat invasion."
Martial Check: Protect the citizenry!
DC 45
62+20+55+7+5=149
Amazing Critical Success!
Your team splits up to help protect the good citizens of your fair Doofania. It's… actually not that hard! A few of the superpowered cats are playing with their food, but while their powers are formidable they're no match for Temujin. Most of the cats seem to be flying elsewhere, with none of them prioritizing attacks on civilians. This is good, since it gives you free reign to be seen by your loyal subjects magnificently saving them from the evils of feline invasion in your super cool mech suit. But it's also a concern, because… where are the cats?
---
Kat Martial Check: Disable the Power Plant
DC 120
91+36+35+20+5-29 (Paramilitary Mongol Corps)+15 (Doof split attention)=173
Spectacular Success!
Elsewhere in the city, a fleet of Normbots was torn to shreds under laser fire and diamond-tipped claws. The building they were guarding- the Danville Metropolitan Power Plant- was disabled in mere moments. Coal shipments were set on fire, water pipes were sliced in half, and electrical transformers were melted to slag.
Paramilitary Mongol Corps bonus decreases by 15! Your laser batteries are no longer online!
"Miaowr!" Kat declared viciously atop the wreck of the power plant's spire. His glorious legions were unstoppable, and with him spurring them forward (discounting a momentary break to chase down a bird and eat it, and another one to snatch a juicy looking fish carcass from the velociraptor feed tank), nothing could stop them!
Yes, absolutely nothing could go wrong!
"STOP RIGHT THERE, YOU CRIMINAL KITTY!" the blustering fool in spandex declared.
Kat frowned. "Mmrrowwww." Now, of all times? Right at his moment of triumph?! Ugh. He was going to have to deal with this one personally. For all of the fool's bluster and impotent declarations, he was enhanced beyond the human norm, which meant that Kat might actually have to put a shred of effort into this.
How dreadful.
Snapping the fishbone he was sucking on with a gnash of his jaws, Kat took a second to appraise the imbecile. He didn't necessarily need him dead, so if he was willing to run off and cry somewhere, that would get the job done just as well.
With a single glance, a nearby eighteen wheeler was reduced to nothing more than a puddle of slag beneath a laser blast. The horrid stench of burning rubber drifted through the streets as the metal poured down the storm drains and set the grass on fire.
The histrionic half-wit was utterly nonplussed.
Fine. It looked like he'd have to get his paws dirty after all.
Ignoring his innate laziness for a moment, Kat sauntered forward, his tail swaying in the most threatening way possible. Exerting as little effort as he could, Kat shot out a laser blast aimed at Hego's knee.
Kat Martial Check: 32+36+35+20+5=128
Hego Martial Contest: 56+28-10-27(Zero)=47
Abysmal Critical Failure!
Hego screamed in pain as the blast tore through his suit in an instant and sent him crashing to his knees. Pathetic. All that was left would be a quick slice across the throat and-
"STOP!"
Kat blinked in confusion. From amongst his many cat minions, a black and white cat patterned like a pair of dress pants had leapt between him and the worthless super.
"I said stop, you horrid excuse for a kitten! Where do you get the nerve to attack someone so kind, so caring, someone who has done so much for felinekind? Why, but one month ago this benevolent hero saved me from a tree! And that wasn't the first time, no! Time and time again he went out of his day to save not only me, but several of you as well!"
Kat blinked. At least two members of his entourage seemed to recognize this nuisance.
"Tinkles! Snuffles! Surely you recognize him too, right?" Kat looked to his second in command, an arrogant white Persian who looked at Hego with nearly the same amount of disgust. "I am sorry, Kat! But I cannot stand by and let you hurt this man! I owe it to him to-"
---
"Meow meow meow mrow meow mrow mow!" the fluffy cat declared.
Hego blinked. What was happening?
Martial Check: Take advantage of this one last opportunity
DC 100
95+28-10 (Glory Daze)-27(Zero)+5(A Hero's Stand)=91
Bare. Failure.
Slowly, Hego pulled himself to his feet. He didn't understand what was going on. He rarely did. But someone… someone was standing up for him. Someone was looking death in the face and braving impossible odds. Someone was being a hero. He had to try.
As Hego rose to his feet, he began to speak. Somewhere, deep within him, was a sense that he was doing something wrong. The feeling was growing by the second. But old habits.
Die hard.
"Worry not, fair citizens, for I will take out this felonnnnnnnni…." An inkling of a memory arose in his head, of Roddy telling him to 'work on his material'. "Nnnnnnnn- waaaaait. I shouldn't just be monologuing! I need to-"
A blinding flash of red light burst from Kat's eyes. Hego watched as a charred, blackened corpse toppled to the ground.
