Why Doofenshmirtz was Nerfed
Now I am aware that some people are frustrated that both Doofenshmirtz has been nerfed and that we aren't playing like a full on super villain, so as a treat I have used the Nega-Inator to reach out through the numerous possibilities surrounding the quest to bring you a little treat.
What if Doofenshmirtz wasn't nerfed?
The scene opens on DEI tower, slowly zooming into the main office where Dr. Doofenshmirtz performed most of his work, a tune beginning to play as screens all around the room flicker to life as they begin to display surveillance information and news reports from all around the globe.
Tune into your favorite station
Peruse any news publication
See the states of the states and nations
Corporations, inflation, invasions
Dr. D spins around on a large chair to seemingly greet the camera, a wide and menacing grin on his face as he presses a large button on his desk with clear glee.
Well I say that they could take some
Intercontinental consolidation
One flag emblazoned with my face on
And I don't plan on an application
The screens then shift to show secret bases and operations undergoing all over the globe as the chair Doof is sitting on begins to sink into the floor and into a laboratory with mad scientists of every variety working diligently on various projects, all of which looked dangerous.
Introducing villainy squared
Just your standard reclusive trillionaire
With a maniacal air, and a violent flare
Vibrant tyrant enshrined in a stylish chair
He stands from the chair and strides forward to meet with one of the scientists who hands him a remote with a red button on hit, Doof begins laughing for a moment before turning to a large screen and pressing the button.
You can find me there on my island lair
Where the sirens blare, as I stride in striking fear
With the slightest glare, I'm not fighting fair
Step aside for thе frightful heir
In the center of the city the ground began to rumble and shake as Mt. Doofhawk began to break away from the ground, Normbots swarmed around as the mountain rose into the sky. The tower on top like a knife cutting upwards into the smog filled sky.
So you'd better gеt to polishing your white flags
I've a plethora of monuments to hijack
Shrink the Senate, use the columns as a spice rack
And enveloping the Commons in a Flytrap
A ghostly figure from within the tower also began to laugh as his magical army readied themselves, and before long the floating mountain base began to make its way through the countryside, time for a little test drive...
Minions all over my map
Turn your dominion into a nice back yard
For my kingdom, your income might lapse
Might have to squint at the price, on the ransom price tag
At the same time several buildings throughout the city began to change as they fully activated, shifting and transforming into giant robotic soldiers to serve their master.
You know, I've just realized that this dotted line around the globe is supposed to be the Equator...
I always thought of it more as a 'cut here'
The scene shifts to LA, specifically Cloverleaf Industries Corporate Headquarters, where it zooms in on several small Inator like devices hidden throughout the building.
If all the world's a stage, then I shall play my part
You may say it's cliché, but I say that it's an art
Every deck needs a knave, to come and stack the cards
The world may be yours to save, but it's mine to tear apart
It also shifts to Town Hall where more of the devices can be found, including directly beneath Judge Doom's desk where he was working. His phone starts ringing and he answers, he listens to the person on the other end before his eyes go wide and starts to stand up, in some form of panic.
One button's all it takes, to set the Earth a-quaking
Or is the world afraid, and the planet started shaking?
You'd need tectonic plates, to serve the schemes I'm baking
And the menu for today, is some world domination
There is bright flash as the Inators activate, and the entirety of Town Hall and Cloverleaf and absorbed into a sucking force that drags them in and scatters their molecules throughout multiple dimensions, nothing survived.
I'm the meanest genius scheme unfurler
Genus steeped in burglars, murderers
Fiend Weekly's champ moustache twirler
I cheated, I used curlers
In Las Vegas an event is happening with Chronos Corp, Syndrome is of course present to celebrate their new partnership with an up and coming company that stands to help them make no small amount of money.
Yes, my amusements bamboozle
A glamorous ruse to confuse all
Your plans to tamper and snoop
you're delusional
While the celebration was going on nobody was paying enough attention to notice some figures sneak into the back...
Can't see no scheme, while you're schmoozing my valets
Casino screen obscures my base
So if you don't want a day to rue, let's just play the roulette
Forget the backstage
At least until the exits were sealed off and flags bearing the symbol of DEI unfurled to cover the walls of the room. Some of the people attempted to run to the employee only area to find another way out.
But if you do sleuth through to my sanctum
I've a few new tools here to have fun
Like a tank full of man-eating plankton
Or a smooth henchman with a handgun
Only for several traps to activate as they ran down the hallways, and before long they were chased by the employees as they revealed themselves to be DEI sleepers, lead by the resurrected Genghis Khan.
So whilst I'm busy dislodging Norway
You'll spend all day dodging my saw blades
Raising my Pinball scoresheet, freak in the broadsheets,
Rube Goldberg in the hallways
Syndrome attempts to use his tech to bust free only for an Inator on the roof to activate and overload his tools, rendering them all useless.
Stay between the laser beams
You still won't make it face to face with me
Your agency just paid you to take
a vacation in my interrogation seat
The Khan quickly finds him and Syndrome is forced to surrender himself into their custody, he was soon silently transported to DEI for... 'Interrogation and processing'.
One wrong step in my bullion vaults
And you're gonna be met with a billion volts
But if you do pocket any ill-gotten profits
Then I'll dock it via rocket, from the minion at fault
In the Grid a general emergency was in effect, the MCP was under attack from programs sent over by DEI to attempt to destroy him, he was so focused on the Grid he failed to notice the device being dropped onto ENCOM Tower from above.
My management skills are uniquely stirring
When lacking in diligent measly servants
Having one killed with the team observing
Works magic on building the weak's subservience
As the EMP fired off implanted agents within the building activated and began to destroy everything in sight, before power was restored the hardware that kept the MCP running would be reduced to slag.
See I think I'd make a perfect leader, I'm very hands on,
and by that I mean my hand's on this big red button
Toffee looked at the man on the screen, he wasn't sure how he managed to get this tablet into his Temple, bey whatever he had planned couldn't be good.
That may or may not do something, terrible to the Moon's gravity
Don't worry, I'll write you a lovely orbit-uary
As the button was pressed another Inator activated, sucking Toffee upwards towards the sky as he attempted to save himself. However whenever he tried to cast a spell it would only be absorbed into the Inator and make it stronger. Before long the Monster was lost to space, never to be seen again.
If all the world's a stage, then I shall play my part
You may say it's cliché, but I say that it's an art
Every deck needs a knave, to come and stack the cards
The world may be yours to save, but it's mine to tear apart
Scenes like that appeared throughout the world, heroes and villains alike were caught in the crossfire as the other Kings were wiped out one by one.
You secretly live below, my laser-mounted space station
You may need to think it over, but if I get bored of waiting
I'll be beaming tic-tac-toe, between the borders of your nations
Want to keep the Swiss Plateau, then give me world domination
The scene shifted one last time onto the last remaining King, David Xanatos, as he attempted to come up with a plan from his office in New York.
My minions poised and entrapped informers
Villains exploiting the map's four corners
Off to deploy my outlandish orders
Warrants are void, international waters
He was interrupted when the power cut off to the entire building, even the emergency power failed to activate, leaving the entire tower plunged into darkness.
If I steal her bling, do I have to wait
For the Queen of England to abdicate?
Shrink rays are aimed so why raze the place?
Turn your famed locations to paperweights
His computer suddenly came back to life, displaying the logo of DEI front and center, before it shifted to a video of the Doctor's latest invention as it floated over Manhattan.
Now your monument's stored in a portable size
Does my offer seem more of an affordable price?
Your democracy's nice, but you ought to comply
Or I'll alter your mind, via the water supply
The entire city began to freeze over, ice encasing entire buildings as people hurried inside to avoid certain death in the arctic cold created by the device.
Reports coming live, of a sort of device
That authorities describe, as an orb in the sky
It's absorbing the light, and distorting the ice
Till your tenth-story penthouse, is caught in the tide
Sound of fighting began to echo throughout the tower, Xanatos tried to get ahold of Owen or Puck, but it seemed that Doofenshmirtz was blocking all communications.
Forces of justice ought to give up
'Fore I bore through the crust
And get awfully destructive
Force down your government's doors, then I'll bust in
The body of Puck was sent crashing through the door to the office, a cold iron knife lodged into his gut. Doofenshmirtz himself entered the room with his soldiers at his side, a wide and maniacal grin nearly splitting the man's face in two.
Awesomely scored by a chorus of trumpets
Rulers you foolishly trust to prevent my ascent
Just uselessly buckle and bend
If your throne ever feels too comfortable then
Remember, all good things come to an end
Left with no other choice, Xanatos raised his hands and surrendered, the last King had fallen...
If all the world's a stage, then I shall play my part
You may say it's cliché, but I say that it's an art
Every deck needs a knave, to come and stack the cards
The world may be yours to save, but it's mine to tear apart
Throughout the USA Doof's men began work to take over fully, only Washington remained in his way, and after that...
That stylish new telephone, home appliance sensation
Rewrites your genetic code, every time the tone is playing
So I'm sure to get your vote, for my new administration
Detonators set to blow, for some world domination
The world!
It's too late to stop me
By now the laser dolphins are in position and every world leader at the Beachside Peace Summit and Barbecue has been incinerated
I'll be sure to notify their next of fin
Oh, that was good, somebody write that down
