You needed to be careful about how much you let slip, Doofenshmirtz could be a useful ally in the Metaworld Wars if you manage to play your cards right. You were beginning to come up with a way to talk to him without drawing too much attention when he began the conversation for you.
"So, uh, David. I've been doing some looking into stuff and I came across something that's pretty surprising. You know that guy you were talking with back at the Sands Gala- Toffee, the lizard lawyer guy? Well, after investigation, it turns out that he's bad news. Like seriously bad news. Multidimensional warlord conqueror-style bad news."
You blink. "Ah, good, you noticed. That saves me on having to bring you up to speed."
"Eh?!?! You already knew?"
'Russ' rolls his eyes at the man. "Of course."
"Knew that Toffee was waging an interdimensional war of conquest against Phobos with genocidal intentions in mind? Yes, I did."
Retroactive Doofenshmirtz Intrigue Check: How much does he know about the Metaworld Wars?
DC 75 needed: 5+14+38+10+5+7=79
Success
"War of conquest on who?"
So he knows some but not everything, more than expected less than you hoped, perhaps you should share what you know, at least some of it as a show of good faith.
"Ah." You begin. "Yes. The majority of Toffee's current attention is taken up by another despot fighting across the planes, one who seems diametrically opposed to him. We should be thankful; there are entire planets' worth of resources currently not being marshalled against us primarily due to greater concerns."
"And here I was worrying that it was gonna be a hard sell. I even brought over the cell phone footage that my ninjas recorded!"
"While I appreciate how forthcoming you are with this information, there's no need to try and convince me of Toffee's intentions. He is one of the greatest threats our planet is facing at the moment."
"Okay okay, just gonna go down the list to make sure I'm not missing anything. Mewni? Monsters? Kalabar? Interdimensional Corn?"
"I don't believe we're familiar with a 'Kalabar', are we Owen?"
"No, Mr. Xanatos."
Xanatos Intrigue Check: Can you extrapolate who this 'Kalabar' is?
DC 75 needed: 55+72+45-20(???)+11=163
Critical Success!
"One of Toffee's lieutenants, I take it. Presumably the one that reached out to you a few months ago?"
"Yeah! He looked human, underneath all the 'you're-not-my-real-dad' brand hair gel, but he got in and out of my office with apparently no effort. It was spooky."
"I dunno if Dimensional Scissors can get you inside an enemy's sanctum that easy by themselves." Janna notes, she seems to know more than she appears to, you'll need to pay extra attention to her.
"There's no obvious logical reason why not." 'Russ' adds, "and yet-"
"Magic builds itself off of symbolic meanings. The idea of thresholds and boundaries is one with strong influence." You finish. "I'll keep an eye out for this Kalabar."
"Ok so." Doctor Doofenshmirtz continues. "You know about Toffee, cool cool cool. But. There's also a uh, other matter I thought I might bring up…"
He looks over towards Janna.
Diplomacy Check: Can Janna bring herself to reveal details she suspects relate to her friends?
DC 100 needed: 88+6+18+55=167
Success!
"So, Xanay. Can I call you Xanay?" Janna asks, not even waiting for confirmation before continuing. "Word on the street is that you're the guy to go to when there's an arcane mystery at hand. That means you'd be pretty good at prophecies too, I'm guessing."
"Signs of an overactive imagination, I'm sure. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm an authority on the subject, but as you can tell from our meeting I'm aware of the arcane to an extent."
"Well. I recently watched a bunch of ninjas perform a tarot reading, and judging by all the magic glowing and disturbingly accurate personal information, I'm pretty sure it's real. The only problem is the last part."
Owen's eyebrow raises near imperceptibly. "Mr. Xanatos has indulged in divination from time to time, though most readings can be interpreted in a myriad of ways. What was it specifically about this divination that made it an object of your concern?"
"So, you know how there's that huge magical cover-up where the Feds try to make sure no one knows the true extent of what's happening under our noses? While my boss probably wouldn't mind if that came crashing down-"
"Hey!" Doofenshmirtz objects.
"-And 'don't talk about magic' is just one of many rules I disregard completely-"
"Attagirl!" The staff agrees.
"-Even I can see that just letting that get thrown out there? Not a good look."
"...she kinda has a point, dad." Vanessa agrees.
You cough lightly. "What was the prophecy in question?"
Janna closed her eyes. The atmosphere inside the limo seemed to darken slightly as clouds gathered outside. "The light you seek shall not be found. Though others might join and effort abound. Til' the demon stands where died her mate, against the world in reckless hate."
"Through hate she will inspire fear. This darkness comes- within one year. Though her plan will fail, the veil will lift; through truth, her people set adrift."
"With schemes unfurled, a different plan. A princess from another land. An ally of great strength she seeks. The payment? Hearts set on her cheeks."
The purple glow faded from the staff's eyes. "Show-off." It mutters under their breath.
Intrigue Check: Does Doofenshmirtz notice you visibly react to this in any way?
DC 97 needed: 32+72+45-20(???)+11=140
Success
You expertly hide your reactions once Janna is finished reading off the prophecy, Max looks a little creeped out from the atmospheric effects Janna was adding for dramatic effect.
"Interesting. I suppose it's possible that the prophecy is indeed talking about the magical masquerade, though as Owen mentioned before prophecies can be deliberately vague and open to interpretation. It's quite possible that worrying about this would be a waste of time, or even lead to an accidental fulfilment of the prophecy, if the actual event in question is unrelated."
You're already searching though your mind for possible causes for this, despite your words you know better than to simply leave things as they are, you'll need to more research but you already suspect someone who would cause trouble for you like this.
"Yeah. Just thought we'd give you the heads up since you're obviously the guy in the know over here." Janna mentions, an expression of bored disinterest back on her face.
"I appreciate your frankness." You respond, reclining ever so slightly in your chair.
It seems like Doofenshmirtz is still looking to talk with you now that his greater concerns are done with, whatever it is you suppose you'll hear him out, he's certainly surprised you so far.
Opposed Intrigue Check: Be Real Subtle About It
Doofenshmirtz Intrigue Check: 32+14+38+10+5+7=106
Xanatos Intrigue Contest: 61+72+45-20(???)+11=169
Xanatos Success!
"So, Xanatos, what do you think about Shego?" He asks immediately.
You blink for the second time this trip. "Why do you ask?"
"No reason." He replies quickly, before Russ has a chance to do more than open his mouth.
He, he's trying to be subtle isn't he? How cute.
"Drakktech recently fulfilled a rather large government contract, and Ms. Go herself has proven to be a decisive woman in the boardroom. Xanatos Enterprises has already agreed to collaborate with Drakktech on military projects in the future, which I believe could be extremely profitable for both of our companies and an incredible boost to the stability of our armed forces."
"Oh yeah, I forgot you guys were both doing that."
"Yes. I find it can be a very rewarding enterprise."
Opposed Intrigue Check: Are these Xanatos' Real Feelings?
Doofenshmirtz Intrigue Check: 58+14+38+10+5+7=132
Xanatos Intrigue Contest: 8+72+45-20(???)+11=116
Doofenshmirtz Success!
Doofenshmirtz looks over to Agent Russ before looking back to you, he doesn't seem convinced by your words. So the Pharmacist has seen through you again it seems. How troublesome, so few people are able to figure out when you aren't being honest and you fear this is could form into a pattern.
---
The rest of the ride is not nearly as eventful. Janna makes small talk with you, Russ, and Doofenshmirtz. Max and Vanessa talk amongst themselves, a little awkwardly given the other adults in the car. You're pretty sure that neither of them envisioned the trip going this way.
Doofenshmirtz blinks suddenly as he notices the car headed south. "Wait. I may not be a lifelong New Yorker, but Goofy said the Bazaar was at the end of the subway line on 96th Street. That's way up north, isn't it?"
"Yes." You reply as the limousine pulls to a stop outside of Grand Central Station. "That would be the public entrance."
"Of course the private one's going to be hidden somewhere nicer. I bet they've got a secret passage in here that the maintenance man wanders into every so often by mistake, so now he's in on the whole charade." Janna doesn't seem too put out by the change in location.
Doofenshmirtz Intrigue Check: Where's the Secret Entrance?
DC 100 needed: 50+14+38+10+5+7=124
Success!
Russ glances around the building for a moment before coming to a decision. "It's in the offices, isn't it."
You raise an eyebrow.
"Quiet, out of the way, easy to hide from anyone who doesn't work in the department or simply glamor until it's imperceptible. Since only the reigning nobles get to use it, there's no need for large scale attention diversion. You can just put it somewhere only you are allowed to go, then make anything actually magical a backup."
"You're quite the professional."
"So they say."
Agent Russ' words prove almost perfectly prescient, and soon you usher them into a disused office and then through a marble archway that definitely wasn't there a moment before. The multicolored sky and logic-defying dimensions of the place stun Doofenshmirtz as it stunned Goofy before, the vast riot of medieval stonework and asian towers rising up into the sky or in some cases down from it. Even Max and Vanessa have to pause for a moment in awe. You honestly never get tired of people's first reaction to this place.
"Are they going to take issue with this many normal-looking people arriving at once?" Russ asks.
"Not through this door." You reply. "Consider yourself to have special dispensation. Though I could find you a pointed hat, if you'd like."
"No need, thank you."
You do have a few minutes before the auction starts, and you are, as always, busy. Would you like to spend a few moments looking into something?
[ ] Look into this prophecy
[ ] Check on your deal with Magica De Spell
[ ] Show Doofenshmirtz what's good
You also need to decide on the other business at hand.
[ ] Bid on the Crystal Key
[ ] Tell Doofenshmirtz about the Crystal Key and don't bid
---
After you conclude with your business, it's just about time for the auction to start. You make your way through the maze-like assortment of stalls and shops to a large clearing filled with hundreds of wooden chairs and a huge stage built into the side of one of the buildings. People are already starting to filter in- nobody you recognize from this distance, but at least half of them look like they're human. Or at least close enough to human, you can't tell if their ears are pointed or not at this distance.
You can see dozens of wizards, witches, ghouls and goblins, all chattering to each other in an endlessly fascinating riot. One woman with a red dress and a mane of silver hair is even getting thrown out by security trolls.
You sit down near Doofenshmirtz in the front row, he seems to enjoy the special treatment, perhaps he isn't used to it? Max and Vanessa seem more than a little nervous, but Janna is grinning like there's no tomorrow.
"I am going to be seriously disappointed if we don't walk out of here with at least one dark artifact. How am I going to become an evil archmage if I don't have any artifacts?!"
"You heard my acolyte!" The staff barks. "Don't stick to those wishy-washy light artifacts either! They're no fun!"
"We'll see." The doctor says noncommittally. You doubt he knows enough about magic at this point to understand anything more than the basics. "So, Xanay."
Intrigue Check: Does Doofenshmirtz notice how you feel about being called Xanay?
DC 150 needed: 44+14+38+10+5+7=118
Failure!
Oh no, this is going to be a running thing isn't it? Work with it David, just work with it like you always do.
"If you're not running this thing, who is?"
You point up to a podium erected in front of you. "That would be her."
He look up to see pitch black tresses hanging down over the face of duck.
"Magica De Spell."
---
(There will be a three hour moratorium on voting.)
