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Brockton's Celestial Forge (Worm/Jumpchain)

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LordRoustabout said:
I know, Chubster, right? Who would want to read about him? I mean, a look at the mindset of Ben Cothran, Los Angeles protectorate member and S-class responder? What could possibly be interesting or insightful about that? Why would I spend time from the perspective of someone who devoted themselves to fighting the worst disasters in the world could while also working directly under Alexandria, a member of the Triumvirate and secret director of the PRT? What could a man who saw the highest level of combat but also maintained enough humor and grace to maintain a joke cape name say about the situation in Brockton Bay? What could a divorced father who's only daughter was head of the LA Wards team think about the conduct of young parahumans in a disaster area on the other side of the country? Why would I bother any of that?

Okay, enough sarcasm. I get people are tired of interludes and want to move on. I'm going to be trying that with the next chapter, and am hoping to have the situation wrapped up within the next two. I'm not actually going to write a 20,000 word Chubster interlude out of spite, but the idea did get more appealing the more I though about it to the point where we might check in with Ben at some point in the future.

Unfortunately, I need to clarify the limitations of this story again. The format and schedule I've committed to mean that editing really isn't possible. Elements of the story are driven by wordcount, meaning the emphasis will always be to push forward rather than circle back and revise for conciseness. That is a core problem of how this started. I didn't begin this story with a grand epic planned out. It was a writing exercise mean to make it easier to maintain the pace or my writing. I did four of these before I decided to post and continue this one. Unfortunately, there are some flaws that go right back to the foundation of the story. As it stands this is still exercise for me, a way to keep writing and try to improve. I'm trying to do the best I can within that format, but that's still how this is structured. Sometimes side stories go deeper than I had intended and the overall progression lags. I'm trying to improve that, but there's only so much I can do without changing the structure or intention of the work.
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Just came to say I like the interludes, and your reasoning for them is spot on, they're a great way of showing how the things are different, so they aren't the same.
Although now I want an interlude/preamble/addendum from Ben and his daughter on the situation...
 
I really like the current interludes because they're interesting and vital to understanding what's going on elsewhere in the Bay while Joe does his shenanigans.

I really hate the current interludes because damnit I want to know what happens next!
 
At first, I thought "pfft, a Chubster interlude. How absurd!" Then I read Lord's description of how it might go down...
Now, I would totally read a Chubster Interlude.
 
I personally really like the Differing perspectives but a nice way that this could be solved Is by doing what you did for earlier chapters but flipped. Specifically the parts where at the end of each chapter there is a small to medium section from an outside characters perspective. Could just change it around where 75-90% of the chapter is outside perspective then flip to MC. Dunno but Lee up the great work
 
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Off the Charts! (Cerridwen)
  • Apocrypha
    • Omake: Off the Charts!

    A secure call between PRT directors, regarding Apeiron.

    "He's off the goddamn charts! He's off the wall the charts are hanging on! He has exited the goddamn building via the ceiling and is still climbing into the stratosphere, he's so far off the goddamn charts!" angrily throws coffee cup at chart

    "This... this entire file is useless. What limitations do we have? 'Tinker/Trump, builds fictional technology to extreme degrees of perfection'. That gives us less than nothing. He can build anything, do anything, and apparently look fucking fantastic the entire time he does it." angrily suppresses barbarian-chic fantasies

    "You're right, this entire file is useless. The ratings system no longer meaningfully applies at this point. With FTL capabilities, we can't guarantee he's not capable of cracking the planet in half, let alone destroy an Endbringer. And who's to say he can't do worse? If I were a betting man... I'd bet on worse."

    "Then what the hell do we do?!"

    "Scrap the ratings."

    blanches "B-but sir... what do we put under his file?"

    "Rating:..." epic guitar solo "A P E I R O N"
     
  • Apocrypha
    • Personally I'd like to see Joe x Astolfo. The sheer sexual confusion! That aside, I think they'd become bros. Fight for freedom!
     
    I for one like Interludes, especially interesting ones.
    Make Chen Interludes, where he goes as Mechasifting Invisible Chinese Warrior.
    "You bast*** kidnappers! You are courting Death! I, your Father, will teach you!"
     
    LordRoustabout said:
    The reason for the number of interludes is because the stations of canon are basically flaming wrecks at this point. Normally in a worm story you can coast on the established aspects of the characters, but things have shifted so much that it feels like I need to spend time covering how each character is managing things if only to maintain consistent characterization given the situations. Manpower isn't in the same position he was in canon and therefore I needed to spend time establishing where he was mentally as well as what has been happening with New Wave. It's fairly introspective, but sets the baseline that lets the story move forward properly. I get that it's not to everyone's taste, but stuff like this is kind of important to round out the impact things have had on people other than the protagonist.
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    While I do prefer Joe's POV I think the interludes are important, since they make the characters part of your story, not just the ones from canon in your story (if that makes sense).

    I believe the real problem is due to real life issues, there is a large gap in time between the end of the fight and now, and during that time there has only been 1 Joe chapter.

    But it's important to see what is happening with others, as unlike an original story, you need to show sometimes how a character has deviated from their canon self due to events happening, when in an original story there is no one to compare them to.

    LordRoustabout said:
    In a similar way, out of context powers like psychic abilities will be better at spoofing thinkers than the actual Out of Context Problem perk. Those let Joe be modeled, the models just change every time the power is used, meaning the thinker believes they have the data they need when they are really working from junk. It's a different situation than Joe being a blind spot and everyone knowing that he's a blind spot.
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    I was under the impression that out of context probably only worked on contessa, Ziz and Scion.

    But I do agree, it's much better for Joe that thinker powers say he is not a threat, than to say they don't know. Specially when he just starts out and doesn't have enough power for a thinker to say he is a threat, apposed to someone who starts out with a lot of power, like in a jumpchain.
     
    I don't have much issue with the interludes, I mean it's always great to have a alternate perspective on things. Especially when the interlude can foreshadowed things to come, like the part with the travelers, this definitely hint at a possible future clash between Coil and Joe. And the undersiders will have to take a side(obviously Joe's because their not that stupid, and especially Brian will have to side with Joe because of Aisha and I don't doubt Aisha will be mad if Grue so much as hints being okay to what's happening to Dinah).
     
    LordRoustabout said:
    I know, Chubster, right? Who would want to read about him? I mean, a look at the mindset of Ben Cothran, Los Angeles protectorate member and S-class responder? What could possibly be interesting or insightful about that? Why would I spend time from the perspective of someone who devoted themselves to fighting the worst disasters in the world could while also working directly under Alexandria, a member of the Triumvirate and secret director of the PRT? What could a man who saw the highest level of combat but also maintained enough humor and grace to maintain a joke cape name say about the situation in Brockton Bay? What could a divorced father who's only daughter was head of the LA Wards team think about the conduct of young parahumans in a disaster area on the other side of the country? Why would I bother any of that?

    Okay, enough sarcasm. I get people are tired of interludes and want to move on. I'm going to be trying that with the next chapter, and am hoping to have the situation wrapped up within the next two. I'm not actually going to write a 20,000 word Chubster interlude out of spite, but the idea did get more appealing the more I though about it to the point where we might check in with Ben at some point in the future.
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    Well, now I'm interested. Maybe a Preamble during whatever chapter begins the Leviathan Arc would suffice?
    LordRoustabout said:
    The real issue with the Dust trails isn't that they have Dust in them, it's that they have divinely crafted, Heretically Adaptive Dust that's been enhanced by Joe's workshop and powers. That's the cause of the unusually clean distributions and persistent effects, and is what will cause complications with duration and cleanup. In terms of safety people aren't exactly poking the mysterious tinker effect with sticks to see what it does. The only reason they aren't avoiding the effects entirely is they need to cross them to evacuate the area. That's the limit of their exposure, and as many precautions as possible are being taken around those effects.
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    So, will the dust be removed when his stuff is Fiat repaired, or does this count as 'intended use' like with spent ammunition and it's just going to stay there? What about the Minovsky Particles?
     
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    You know I just got a scary though of what would happen if Joe got access to kamen rider tech now some of you would be wandering why that would be so scary nothing much except for the Deus ex machina that is ex aid hyper muteki the walking black hole that is evolt and the giant duck you to everything that are decade and oma zi-o. Ha lord your writing is so good you got a lurker like me to comment
     
    You know I just realize that once Joe figures out Aura granting, he can do better than cauldron at power granting heck not only Aura but also Transhumanism too, like cyborgs and stuff, while also giving them weapons and armor that would allow them to take mid to high(depending) Parahumans. Tho that brings the question is there anything else in the celestial forge that provides other power granting options? Like maybe some magic or psychic powers.
     
    LordRoustabout said:
    I'm not actually going to write a 20,000 word Chubster interlude out of spite, but the idea did get more appealing the more I though about it to the point where we might check in with Ben at some point in the future.
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    After reading your description, I really want to read a 20,000 word Chubster interlude. I am not being sarcastic. It sounds fascinating. Please consider actually doing one. Maybe not 20 thousand words, but however many words you think it needs. Add me to the list of people hoping that you write it.
     
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