- Location
- Under a Rock
I mean, having Jiraiya back would help. I know we aren't planning to tell Asuma, I just think we should, so I keep mentioning it.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rational rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
The Sages and Pantsaa both speak like the new the Sage, personally. Normal, non-Boss Pangolins can live for centuries (Kei's Drill Sargeant Summon is several centuries old, and is merely described as "middle aged"). I'd be okay with prodding the three of them for more lore.
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Note that Jiraiya was part of the "crush Hidden Swamp" team.
Pantsaa definitely was not the first Pangolin Boss, the Toad Sages remember him ascending to the throne so to speak. The Pangs were markedly less expansionist under the last guy.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
Pantsaa might've been one of the first Pangolins who then usurped the mantle of the Pangolin Boss from the first guy.
- Location
- Under a Rock
Ah, but what would you do if discovered someone, you aren't sure who, had written one of your own seals, high quality enough to infuse. Except its written in normal ink. Your first instinct is that they have managed to steal one of your seals and copy it, but nobody except a seal master would be able to copy it so precisely.
So a sealmaster wants to talk, and they want to talk to you specifically. Its almost certainly an ambush, but you have three options:
- Crush them immedietely, because whatever they know, you don't want them to use it. Not a great idea, there are a lot of Ninja in the swamp.
- Back off because there is something here you don't understand.
- Send a Shadow Clone to get murked, but learn from it.
- Location
- Yes.
Why not option one, and let Mist do the heavy lifting like they did in canon?
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
That's a big big gamble in my opinion. Coming to him before the Mist cleanup team strike a deal with the Hokage sounds more likely to end well. Because Jiraiya backing off when you show you know things about him or revealing that anything affected him to Mist "allies" sounds unlikely to me, because he's the kind of person who'll take no risks if he can help it, because he is so loyal to Leaf he will finish his mission no matter what it takes
- Location
- how about no
I gotchu fam
After Hazou convinces the Swamp denizens to take his advice after nameless jonin #4 dies to a swamp hazard Hazou called out prep work to secure Hidden Swamp and as many lives as possible gets interrupted by the scout of the Mist-Leaf extermination team. At first Hazou is overjoyed to see Jiraiya hale and hearty but the cruel reality sets in as Hazou sees nameless jonin sentry #5's corpse get crushed beneath Jiraiya's feet:
Hazou: "Jiraiya..? DAD?!?! YOU'RE ALIVE!"
Jiraiya: "Props to you kid for trying to throw me off my game: I've never heard any enemy question the status of MY mortality when they first see me. Still, Jiraiya the Toad Sage would never have fathered a child outside of Leaf *cough* or at least outside of Fire country *cough* and I take offense at such slanderous accusations. Zabuza, this one is mine."
Zabuza: "..."
Jiraiya: "Uhh... to kill. Not his dad."
- Location
- The Soviet Republic of Canuckistan
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Find one of his cutouts - remember that time we spent visiting them across the country? - and say the words 'Akatsuki' and 'Tailed Beasts'. Drop the name Konan and talk about the Rinnegan. Be really fucking clear that we have intelligence critical to Leaf operations and that we need to meet with him ASAP.
We might lose a Yamanaka in the process but such is life.
- Location
- Yes.
Doesn't necessarily save Swamp, unless the plan is to evacuate everyone and hope Zabuza doesn't find us before Jiraiya responds.
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
Um... Actually, that's a good point. If we can get some sort of assurance from a third party about Orochimaru's No-Sleep bioseal, that would be a genuine aid to both us and Asuma. And if there isn't...
Well, we might be interested in learning biosealing and it would be helpful to Asuma, too. ...Maybe not useful now, but it's worth noting to Asuma, with the obvious caveat of "Hazou has negative interest in pursuing research of the kind Orochimaru does"
- Location
- florida
This isn't a terrible plan. But as usual. Kei is right and we should save as many people as possible.
<.< it's incredibly painful how close this might come to actually working.
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- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Voting is open, yes.
For the normal cycle, I will write a Conclave update. If you can, separately vote in requests for Asuma or any strategies for going into the Basement for another GS replica. @Paperclipped will write another little bonus chapter covering those two plot threads (though the Asuma conversation may be offscreenable if there's nothing contentious there).
It would be helpful if you could split the vote as follows:
[X][Asuma] plan name
Plan details
[X][Conclave] plan name
Plan details
Using the "[Asuma]" and "[Conclave]" tags means that the tallybot can easily separate the two topics for us. Note the square brackets.
It will also save word count for y'all, which should be helpful.
Voting will remain open until 6pm Eastern on Saturday.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Bumping thisSo since we're not going to be getting too many specifics I think we should curate any plans for Clans rather than individuals. For reference here's all the advice we were given:
The preverbial Elephant in the room is the Condor/Hyena/Pangolin conflict that Hazou is internationally known for. Swaying Condor from "hatred" to "dislike" may be enough to convince their friends that Hazou at least means what he says. Therefore, I think it's slightly more important to sway Condor than Pangolin (Pangolins are assholes anyways.) The Pangolins are also the hosts though so we can't afford to actually piss them off, just keep them appeased so we can focus our diplomacy on Condors and their allies, especially the Rats who are seen as reasonable. The Pangolins being the hosts does mean they will probably be a pretty big opinion sway-er for the neutral people, so we can't just write them off entirely.
Strategy ideas per clan:
GENERAL RECOMMENDED STRATEGY:
- Condor
- Warm-up Carousing:
- There's not really going to be a good icebreaker here. I think we have to be as politically neutral with any apologies as possible, but not so neutral that it means literally nothing.
- Make them especially good offerings imo, and compliment Conjura. Potentially politically inconvenient for them, but these aren't the true representatives of Condor anyways, they're Pantsaa shills bc otherwise they'll be executed. However, token efforts like this will potentially win over the friends of the Condors, namely the Rats.
- Big Pitch:
- We could insinuate that we need the Pangolins to be in on this because it means they will send their powerful armies to probably die at the hands of Dragons. Say it in a much nicer way of course since Pantsaa could hear. Condor support would mean the Pangolins are more inclined to prove themselves against the Condors.
- I think we should probably also ask some of the Condors we rescued to show up for the Big Pitch.
- Pangolin
- Warm-up Carousing:
- Think we need to come off as a bit distant from them. Let the bad blood show just a bit, because it sends the vibes we want to the rest of the Clans, but don't actually piss them off. They are one of the stronger Clans and having them at BOTG2 is pretty important, especially since they are the hosts and may give bigger influence than the average other Clan besides Rat.
- Big Pitch:
- I would play into the whole HOLY PANGOLIN EMPIRE thing and point out how the Dragons are fucking up the Sage's creation.
- I would also play into the whole "militarily powerful clan gets to prove themselves in a 7th-Path-wide war" since they love flexing their might.
- Rat
- Warm-up Carousing:
- I would delay the approach a bit, and make overtures to the Condors and Pangolins first, so the Rats can see the Pangolins don't really like Hazou and that he's making some effort to appease the Condors. Then once we do that, approach the Rats with our tributes. They are pacifists, so Hazou could ask about their ideology some, talk about Uplift, and ask them how they think it could be further improved.
- Big Pitch:
- I think we can win them over by Hazou expressing genuine concern for the lives of the 7th Path denizens. He can at least talk about his Dog friends and how upsetting it was to lose Canaut, and that that's the fate that awaits the others if they don't beat the Dragons.
- Probably the most important target to win over.
- Leopard
- Warm-up Carousing:
- Idk these guys seem like they're assholes and they didn't really seem to be too influential on the other present members. Probably just do some straightforward trading and find out what they're all about.
- Big Pitch:
- I think we can leverage their (presumed) fear/dislike of not coming across as a "real clan" and subtly imply that everyone else thinks it will take real Clan armies to fight the Dragons, to make them want to prove themselves to their neighbors.
- Mara
- Warm-up Carousing:
- Don't feel too strongly about these guys either, though they apparently have a lot of 'soft-power'. I am kinda curious about F but I don't think it helps us for Conclave purposes. Straightforward trade seems like the move. Have to get Asuma's approval for it, evidently.
- Big Pitch:
- Dunno. Win over the others and hope they support us?
- Otter
- Warm-up Carousing:
- No strong feelings. Recommend straightforward trade.
- Big Pitch:
- We were told we could leverage fear of military alliances but I don't think we really intend to flaunt that afaik, so I guess focus on selling the others to get the Otters on board.
- Capybara
- Warm-up Carousing:
- Same as Otters.
- Big Pitch:
- Same as Otters.
- Turtle
- ...probably just do the minimum with these guys, they seem like they'll help regardless
- Porcupine
- Warm-up Carousing:
- Seems fairly straightforward, just hang out with them and make good impressions, maybe chit-chat about their part in WW4 if they want to brag about their Clan or something.
- Big Pitch:
- Not sure how we can really sell them on Dragons if they're small minded. Maybe point out how the trade will slow or even cease due to the influence of Dragons. Bring goods from the West, then say that they'll be lost soon due to the Dragons.
- Monkey
- Warm-up Carousing:
- They are already committed. They could help introduce us to others though.
- Big Pitch:
- They are already committed.
- Very publicly approach biggest Pangolin guild/important guy first, as they have the honor of being host yadda yadda. Let them be pissy with Hazou, stay cool and detached and let people know we aren't affiliated anymore.
- Approach biggest Condor guild/important guy next, give a noticeably bigger tribute to them than the Pangolins. Smooth things over where possible but don't outright condemn Pangolin actions as we can't afford to alienate them (yet). Mention Kumo's awe of Conjura and so on, with relevant permissions of course. Make a pretty obvious effort to improve relations, and make sure the Rats see.
- Approach the Rats next, give tribute etc. Mention that we're intrigued by their ideology, talk some Uplift and ask them for advice on how to improve and spread it. Talk about the trio's efforts to build roads and walls to protect civilians, distribute education to civilians and so on. Put a lot of effort into getting on their good side.
- After those big 3, the order is somewhat less important I think. Porcupine and Monkey next might make sense just to show the others that there are those who align with us. Capybara and Otter can be done back to back probably, since the approaches are similar. I'd save Leopard for after we've already made a few good impressions. Mara requires permission but can be done whenever, and do Turtles last.
No present thoughts on what order to do the rallying cry for Dragon business yet, I think we should see how the trade representatives react first.
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
I just had a thought I don't like but that could make sense...
What if in ex-Pterodactyl island, the black sky, wrong feeling from the land, little-to-no presence of natural chakra, the sky fighting Enma back, is not a result of the land being actually empty, but the Dragons claiming it?
Also did someone say this already I'm bad at keeping up with the thread
What if in ex-Pterodactyl island, the black sky, wrong feeling from the land, little-to-no presence of natural chakra, the sky fighting Enma back, is not a result of the land being actually empty, but the Dragons claiming it?
- Location
- Europa, Jupiter Orbit
Till now I liked the wording of @FaintlySorcerous plan the most.
[] Action Plan: Answering Asuma
Word count: <300
[] Action Plan: Answering Asuma
Word count: <300
- Can we articulate problems, ask for suggestions, then make requests?
- Please deny requests which seem like power grabs - they're not coming from a place of subtle political manipulation or greed.
- We only just realized our previous actions could have been interpreted as blackmail. We have massive blind spots.
- The Great Seal.
- HDK how 3D seals work, or what they're made of.
- HDK much about the Great Seal, generally.
- Suggestions:
- Should we tell Orochimaru everything we know about 3D sealing? It'll markedly increase his personal power.
- Tone: based on the Basement, Orochimaru unchecked rivals the be4uty.
- More lore.
- Missions for Leaf's Summoners to meet with storytellers/lorekeepers? They have long memories.
- The Nagi seal - was it 3D?
- Leaf archives and clan records may contain useful information. Could librarians search and relay their findings?
- Information on the Sage, sealing (as in, locking away) entities, the Dragons, and sealing traditions unknown to us (carving?) could be crucial.
- Any ideas for chakra-conductive stone? Describe it.
- Other AMITY signatories might have useful information or expertise.
- Tone: AMITY is geopolitics and that's way out of our lane.
- Should we tell Orochimaru everything we know about 3D sealing? It'll markedly increase his personal power.
- HDK how to kill the remaining Dragons.
- Again, lore.
- We need to maximize firepower.
- Suggestions:
- Same lore requests.
- Could Ruri be taught EM?
- Can we attribute EM to Kumokogo/Enma?
- AMITY Summoners - have you considered involving them?
- Mareo could be an asset - can we concretely offer him Leaf citizenship? An ANBU escort to Leaf?
- Other:
- Why isn't anyone (other nations) else doing anything?
- They've heard about it, surely.
- Thank you for believing in us and mobilizing Leaf. We saw the Hat's impact on Jiraiya and know, in a very limited way, how much pressure you're under. We want to live up to the trust and patience you've extended us given…everything.
- How can we help you help us?
- Why isn't anyone (other nations) else doing anything?
- Location
- USA
Orochimaru clearly made plans to have a full-size one. You may instead have a smaller version delivered if you wish.
Emphasizing this part. While the tag on plans can be [Asuma] as EJ mentioned, I am more enthusiastic about writing the Orochimaru scene.
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Location
- Under a Rock
There was that sentient crystal thing which controlled the cave. I'm convinced we can communicate with it, possibly even bargain with it.
- Location
- USA
Seconded. The goal is legibility.