Chapter 482: A Relative Falls
The atmosphere in the meeting chamber could best be described as dreary. Maps, report scrolls, and those little banner figurines the Nara were so fond of lay scattered across the great table. Lamplight flickered lethargically, as if it couldn't be bothered to decide where to cast the shadows of those assembled. Occasionally, adjacent clan heads (or their representatives—this wasn't a Clan Council meeting, just a regular update) would exchange brief whispered comments, then stop as if remembering that they were at a war council rather than a history lesson at the Academy.
Hazō was more tired than anything, and guilty about being tired. These meetings were important—they were individual threads in the greater tapestry that would decide Leaf's fate—and they deserved his attention on the moral level as much as the practical. Somewhere out there, real people were dying every day to determine the locations of those figurines. At this very moment, there might be Leaf ninja fighting for their lives, or civilian villages getting wiped out because Leaf's defence of its people wasn't good enough. Meanwhile, Hazō sat at home, teaching summoning, teaching sealing, doing paperwork, and immersing himself in all kinds of safe activities that he took for granted while others died to keep him safe.
He'd never been aware of it more than he was right now, as members of his family took turns going out to fight, the results still unknown, while he could do nothing but pray for their safety (choosing between the ancestors who hated him and the Will of Fire which knew a lot more about his treason than Asuma ever would). He hadn't felt this way since his childhood in Mist, when it was his mother going out on difficult, dangerous missions while he sat at home knowing that any day, he could become an orphan.
That was the nature of shinobi life. Hazō couldn't let himself forget that this was what it was like for everyone else. Whenever he saw another ninja, he was looking at someone who expected to lose their loved ones one by one over the next several years, if they themselves lived that long.
With the Gōketsu's mission-free honeymoon finally ending, was he going to be one of those ninja himself?
The door flew open, and Hazō gave silent thanks for whatever distraction was incoming. A civilian servant rushed up to the Hokage, passing on some kind of message in an excited whisper.
"Ask him to join us here."
A minute later, Hazō retracted the silent thanks, and replaced them with a series of choice sailor curses that had been too good not to filter through from the civilian world to the shinobi.
"I have returned from my mission," Orochimaru announced in a voice so apathetic it made him fit right in as far as this meeting was concerned. "That is all."
He began to turn to leave again.
But there was something different about the Hokage today. His expression was mild, his mouth relaxed, but the muscles around his eyes were tight with concentration. "Welcome home, Orochimaru," he said, and there was something about the warmth in that voice, and the tension, that was not quite right, not quite his. "Please report."
Orochimaru blinked. "The initial journey was uneventful. My escorts were able to dispatch the attacking chakra beasts without my intervention, and finding Isan was trivial with the aid of scout summons. Negotiations with the Isan Clan Council were brief. After three days, I set out north with a force of 214 Isan ninja. As Cloud scouts had no way to predict an assault from the south, our initial victories were overwhelming. However, since my chūnin escorts and I were the only skywalker users, it was impossible to prevent escapees from warning forces further up the coast, and the Isanese's unfamiliarity with the terrain slowed pursuit.
"I estimate that we eliminated a quarter to a third of the enemy expeditionary force. The rest retreated north through the archipelago towards Haran Bay, an area outside the scope of the mission."
Then whatever unusually cooperative mood had seized him dissipated, and his focused expression was replaced with a more familiar faint scowl. "I will send you the usual report in due course. Now, I am weary. Is there anything else?"
"No," the Hokage said. "Thank you, Orochimaru."
Orochimaru gave a disinterested nod and left without ever acknowledging the presence of the clan heads or the representatives.
The tone of the meeting changed instantly. Cloud had been repelled. The second front was no more. They might learn their lesson from being punched in the face with two hundred shinobi and an S-ranker out of nowhere, or they might try again without the element of surprise, but either way, the coast was now clear for Leaf to focus its efforts on obliterating Rock as it deserved.
However, before discussion could turn to this most glorious of subjects…
"I apologise," came the voice of a guard from outside, "but the Hokage is in a meeting right now and can't be disturbed. Please come back later."
"Allow me to present the matter to you from a different angle," an unmistakeable, insolently cheerful voice responded. "You know the Hokage's policies better than me. Which would be worse, the consequences for allowing a foreign ninja to interrupt an important meeting, or the consequences for preventing the emissary of the Village Hidden in the Mist from delivering urgent news that could change the tide of the war?"
There was a sigh.
"You know, you could have led with the 'urgent news' part."
"It would have been less dramatic. Everybody inside can hear us, you know."
The Hokage raised his voice. "Let her in."
"Lord Hokage," Ami said with a bow, "honoured clan heads, I am Mori Ami, here in an official capacity as the emissary of the Mizukage and the Village Hidden in the Mist."
"Welcome, Mori Ami." The Hokage gave an affable nod. If he was as impatient to hear the Mizukage's response as Hazō, he showed no sign of it. "What news do you have from our ally?"
Ami gave a warm but professional smile. "In recognition of the ancient bonds of friendship between our two villages…"
She paused meaningfully, and the Hokage nodded. Across the room, Shikamaru wrote something down in a notepad.
"…and in accordance with the terms of the recent alliance, Lord Mizukage is pleased to send Mist's finest forces in support of Leaf's defence against their ancient enemies. You may expect the forerunners to arrive within the next three days."
All eyes were drawn to the maps and the clear run from Mist to Leaf, unimpeded by Cloud forces. The war had just turned upside down. Hazō could sense that everyone in the room was impatient for Ami to leave so they could start grappling with the implications.
"Shall I return to my quarters, Lord Hokage?" Ami asked innocently.
The Hokage considered briefly. "If I may clarify one thing…" he said, "
Lord Mizukage?"
"Oh, yes," Ami said. "I suppose I should have mentioned that. I regret to inform you that Kurosawa Ren is no longer Mizukage, as she stands accused of treason against the Village Hidden in the Mist. Fortunately, Lord Utakata has accepted the clans' unanimous invitation to assume the position of Sixth Mizukage in order to secure Mist's safety and stability in these dangerous times."
The clan heads' excited muttering was cut off as if by a kunai. As far as Hazō knew, it was impossible for a Kage to commit treason by definition, since they were the final arbiter of what the term meant and when it applied. In other words, the Six-Tails jinchūriki had deposed the Mizukage in a coup, likely facilitated by the fact that he was an unstoppable superhuman with powers Hazō couldn't guess at, and the primary guarantee of Mist's survival, while she was a diplomat with jōnin-level taijutsu and a compromise candidate.
Given that Jiraiya had done something very similar, and Aunt Ren was a terrible person, Hazō couldn't find it in himself to be as upset as he probably should have been.
Except…
"Lord Hokage, if I may?" Hazō raised a hand.
"Go ahead, Lord Gōketsu."
"When did the change of Kage take place?" Hazō had a horrible feeling he already knew the answer, but maybe, just maybe, this time he'd be wrong.
"January 26," Ami said perkily, "immediately after Kurosawa's arrest. I'm afraid I can't go into the detail of the charges against her for reasons of national security, but I can assure you that she is unharmed and will receive a fair trial according to the laws and traditions of Hidden Mist."
"I see," the Hokage said, brushing his hand across his chin contemplatively. "is there any other important news from Mist we should be aware of?"
"Nothing particularly relevant to Leaf," Ami said. "Lord Mizukage has named Mori Ryūgamine and Kuroda Shinzō as his chief advisors, and together they're preparing probably the biggest reform package in Mist's history. The Clan Council's been expanded, and it's going to do fascinating things to the power balance. Most importantly, I'm back in charge as the ambassador. That's relevant to Leaf." She gave a brief frown. "Only not, because I'll still be doing the exact same work. Possibly more. Suddenly I feel cheated.
"Anyway, there's nothing urgent, Lord Hokage. I would be happy to brief you properly later in my ambassadorial capacity."
"Very good," the Hokage said. "Thank you for conveying Lord Mizukage's message."
Ami bowed, to him and then to the assembled clan heads et cetera, and left with a jaunty step (which was almost certainly fake if she'd just spent all day travelling at ninja speed, although one never quite knew with jōnin).
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She caught him on his way out as he knew she would.
Something had happened in Mist, something that surpassed the imagination of sane people like Hazō, and if there was one thing constant about the avatar of chaos, it was that she could no more resist boasting after a successful scheme than Noburi could resist pranking him when his back was turned, Kei could resist pointing out all his failures (which, to be fair, was her job), or Kagome-sensei could resist accusing people of lupchanzen possession when they acted out of character.
"Welcome back, Ami." He smiled. Strictly speaking, these days he could get by without his cane, but today he was very grateful for its assistance as he braced himself the instant before a massive hug.
"Ahh, that's the stuff," Ami said several seconds later. "Hugs you don't have to time are the best, second only to hugs from Kei."
"I'll take your word for it," Hazō said. "'Hugging Kei' is shorthand for 'suicide by stupidity' in the Gōketsu Clan—as in, 'Time travel seals? Why don't you go hug Kei while you're at it?'"
"Ooh, speaking of, how is she? Where is she? Who is she? Why is she?"
"She's fine, on a mission, legally Nara Kei, and I've never dared ask because I'm pretty sure her answers would all be very depressing," Hazō replied.
Ami's smile disappeared. "What kind of mission?"
"You know I can't tell you that, Ami," Hazō said.
"Is it another special summoner mission with Noburi?"
Hazō rolled his eyes. "How do you even know about those?"
"Hazō," she said, "hundreds of genin were involved in a massive operation that involved doing something really weird and ended in a legendary victory that was all thanks to them. You'd have better luck covering up the fact that Rock Lee believes in Youth. Why do you think the Hokage's had all his pawns spreading disinformation to confuse enemy spies?
"But forget that. Is Kei—relatively—safe?"
"I am unable to either confirm or deny the details of any ongoing Hidden Leaf mission, regardless of that mission's implications for my sister's safety," Hazō recited, taking care not to use an Iron Nerve poker face.
"Got it," Ami said with a grateful smirk. "I'll lavish my sisterly affection on you for now."
"I'll take what I can get," Hazō said, silently hoping it was an improvement on the other kind. "More importantly, Ami…" He glanced around. By this point, they were near the wall, with clear lines of sight that did not conceal any watching ANBU. "Did you depose the Mizukage?"
Ami beamed. "Nope. Lord Utakata deposed the Mizukage. The very idea that I, a humble jōnin who'd mostly been away for a year, should have set up a youth organisation that was able to offer a traumatised ex-missing-nin a place to belong during the chaos after Nagi Island, when he had no connections whatsoever in Mist, while Kurosawa couldn't afford to publicly reject Yagura's legacy of missing-nin hatred because the sharks were still pissed at you guys for existing and also for humiliating Mist before the world at the Chūnin Exams? Laughable. Next you'll be suggesting that my deputies built on his fear and loathing of Yagura and his regime, which Kurosawa was taking too long to dismantle because she couldn't afford to alienate the traditionalists, needed the toolkit to reinforce her fragile rule, and wasn't taking my people seriously enough as political actors whose demands mattered. What a wild imagination you have, Hazō.
"Still, there's an important lesson here for you. None of this was set in stone. She could have alienated me, and then played a perfect game and been perfectly fine, because there was no way I was going to put in the time and resources and take the risks necessary to bring down a Kage, especially when I was happy minding my own business over here. Or she could have kept me on-side and screwed up in the massive, unimaginable, epic fashion she just did, and I'd have interceded with the boys and bailed her out—or, frankly, warned her up front, because none of this was unpreventable. But bitter enemies
and big mistakes? No. Either you pick one or you end up dead."
Hazō shivered at the cold in Ami's eyes. "Is she going to? End up dead, I mean."
"Well, no," Ami admitted. "Lord Sixth wants the Kurosawa under his thumb, not out for blood. The beauty of those Yagura-style trials she failed to abolish is that you can plausibly convict anybody of anything. She'll have her charges of treason downgraded to heinous malefaction—say what you like about Yagura, he had rhetoric—and then he'll pardon her as an inaugural act of charity, putting the Kurosawa in his debt. Obviously, the Kurosawa can't have a clan head who not only failed to hold onto the hat but got convicted of heinous malefaction by the new regime, so by this time next month she'll be just another jōnin, only with an aura of failure and disgrace that will follow her around for the rest of her life.
"I bet you find it even more delicious than I do."
Hazō couldn't deny the poetic justice of it. Granted, Aunt Ren wasn't going to get kicked out of the Kurosawa—presumably—so she still wouldn't experience more than a fraction of the suffering and privation Mum had been forced to endure, but still, if ever a twist of fortune had "karma" written on it…
"If Hana didn't hate the clan," Ami added, "I'd almost be tempted to try and get her set up as the next clan head to complete the circle, but those aren't feelings you can smother or wish away. Once you turn your back on the people who made you who you are, it's forever.
"On a more interesting note…" Ami grinned. "How was the commitment ceremony? After all the time we spent planning it, it had better not have gone off without a hitch."
"'We'?" Hazō asked. "Ami, please tell me that this at least wasn't one of your master plans."
Ami shook her head. "Nah, I just gave Kei a lesson in how Mori are beings of contingency, and how when you can't interact with the world head-on, what you do is set things up so that no matter what stimulus you get, it pushes you in a direction that you want to go. Case in point: the AMI wasn't set up to take Kurosawa down and replace her with an absolute dictator who'd spent a year being brainwashed by people who are in love with me. Nobody knew, in the early days of Kurosawa's reign, whether she'd be the leader we needed. Nobody knew she was capable of screwing up so incredibly that the youth of Mist would collectively decide they wanted their own Kage gone. Heck, nobody knew, until the literal moment the AMI announced its existence, that Lord Utakata would come back to Mist and Yagura wouldn't. But Mori are beings of contingency. We don't need to know the future. We don't need to choose it. We just need to make sure that every path it can go down leads to victory.
"So the commitment ceremony is the Hagoromo's last chance to stand in the way of the Concubine Laws. How do we win if they take it? How do we win if they don't? Most importantly, what are the most
awesome ways we can win? With the right conceptual framework and a bit of nudging, Kei refined the political victory into brutal humiliation, and then optimised with Snowflake the way to get the Hagoromo there without suspecting anything and without time to do recon, but—and this is the best part—only if they were utter scumbags. If Lord Hagoromo had had the tiniest bit of decency in his shrivelled black lump of a heart, he'd have left two girls to celebrate their forbidden love in private, and it would have been a much quieter, victimless victory."
"Three girls," Hazō corrected.
"I'm sorry?"
"Three girls," he repeated. "Kei, Tenten, Snowflake."
"Well sure," Ami said, "but only Kei and Tenten were…"
She broke off to stare at him. "Hazō, don't tell me…"
Hazō studied Ami's rare and delightful bemused expression. "Yeah, they're a lawfully not-married triad now. I guess they were going to surprise you at the ceremony, only then you couldn't make it."
Ami continued to stare. "They pulled off a three-way not-wedding involving a shadow clone in a way that was lawful enough to satisfy half of Leaf's power-holders
and the Hagoromo."
"That's right."
Ami was silent for a full three seconds.
Then, a deeply, deeply ominous grin began to stretch slowly across her face. "That's it. I refuse to be outdone by my little sister. Say goodbye to the Leaf you knew."
"Uh, Ami?" Hazō interrupted. "What about that whole thing with Aunt Ren and Lord Utakata?"
"Old news," Ami brushed him off. "My sister has just wielded the power of Law to rewrite society, the nature of romantic love, and the very definitions of metaphysics.
"Chaos must answer."
Hazō had a sudden, very vivid image of Leaf in ashes, with Ami and Kei holding each other atop the shattered ruins of the Hokage Tower. Ami was stroking Kei's hair.
The only way to save Leaf was to distract Ami with something very interesting and completely unrelated, just like Mari had distracted Orochimaru with… with… ah, crap.
Hazō realised, with perfect clarity, that if he did not tell her about the Orochimaru incident right now, then Ami would go away and hear Kei's version of the story first. And if he did tell her about the Orochimaru incident right now…
In his mind, Ami and Kei held each other atop the shattered ruins of the Hokage Tower. Mari's corpse lay at their feet.
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This chapter is set during the Chapter 481 timeskip, and thus receives no extra XP.
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