Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

Sasuke flew backwards, his latest assault repelled with almost casual ease. If Itachi was tiring, he did not show it on his face. Atop the head of a massive statue of Uchiha Madara, the two brothers stared each other down. The sky flashed a ghostly green and the air smelled of copper and ash, as the space around them hummed with power and violence.

In the valley below, the ninja of Leaf who could still manage to stand waged a fruitless war of attrition with the armies from beyond the veil, bursting free from their realm due to Itachi's latest scheme. Skeletal beasts, nine-foot ninja zombies, tar monsters, noodle elementals, and other horrors pulled themselves from the earth, rained from the vortex in the sky, or simply appeared from nowhere to throw themselves at Leaf's combatants.

Itachi said nothing and showed little reaction at all to their battle, but as he hesitated, Sasuke thought he detected a hint of a smile on his brother's face.

Sasuke snarled in response, arcs of electricity dancing from his fingertips, but Itachi simply blocked with an Earth Wall, in a way much too reminiscent of his poor cousin to be accidental. Itachi hopped up to the top of the wall, clearly unimpressed.

"What's wrong with you, Itachi?" Calling it a 'loaded question' would be the greatest understatement since Kakashi warned him that Gai could be 'excitable at times'. Nonetheless, he had to ask. "Is this really what you want?"

"No. But it will get me what I want, with a little help from your late comrade."

Hazou?! "What do you mean?!" he yelled, pain tearing through his throat.

Itachi spread his arms wide, gazing at the swirling green typhoon of energy overhead. "Sasuke, if only you could understand...perhaps someday, I'll have the ability to show you. To put the knowledge there directly I'd probably have to level my biosealing first, though."

"...uh, what?"

"I'm only sitting in the 50s right now, since I didn't bother investing in it until recently. Luckily, I had a sizeable amount of XP banked. Of course, there may also be some Hidden Technique, possibly from the Yamanaka, that I could Technique Hack into a jutsu that could let you see the world this way, but the issue there is it's even more underleveled-"

Something horrible clicked into place in Sasuke's thoughts. "Eight months ago, you weren't just there to shatter Hazou's mind…"

Itachi's almost-neutral expression morphed into something much more smug. "When Hazou and I met the first time, I thought it was the Universe's way of mocking me for my failure to protect Nagato. When we met a second time, I began to see that he resembled Nagato in many dark ways, a notion that shook me to my core. When we met thrice, I knew then that the Universe was delivering Nagato's knowledge to me, so that I may set things right."

Itachi took a breath and continued. "I poured countless hours into perfecting my Tsukuyomi, allowing me to extract every errant thought that ever crossed through that abomination's mind. And so, the messenger's job is complete, and I have all the information I need to correct the course of this world."

Sasuke looked up at the ghostly Doomstorm above him and sighed. Yep, that was definitely a Hazou idea.

Itachi didn't seem to notice. "When this ritual is complete, the armies of Leaf shall be erased from the Elemental Nations entirely, and Nagato's spirit shall be pulled free from the Pure Lands, to take his rightful place as the ruler of this world. Then, the Congregation of Man shall know Peace, as they remember Pain."

During the impassioned speech, a few of Sasuke's shadow clones had reached Wakahisa amidst the chaos below. Sasuke willed one of them to merge with him once more, and felt his chakra restored to maximum. He leaped forward in an instant, Sharingan blazing, and eviscerated the wall in a single clean slice, making Itachi hop back. His sword was no longer a mere piece of metal, it was an arc of lightning and destruction itself.

Sasuke didn't even see Itachi make a handsign, but a dozen shadow clones appeared in his path at various intervals, eyes flaring. Itachi could manifest a bloodline in his Shadow Clones?! He carefully avoided their gazes, as there was no way he could resist a genjutsu from all of them at once. A Sasuke shadow clone tunneled up from the ground behind the group and managed to pop two with a quick kunai throw before drawing attention, diverting some of the Itachis.

A moment later, Sasuke was hacking and slashing with mathematically precise motions, shearing through incoming jutsu and intercepting weapons or fists. He carved out the ground beneath an Itachi and kicked it while it was off-balance, but astonishingly it did not pop, his foot clanking with some weird scaly energy suffusing the clone's body.

The other five clones engaged with him took advantage of his confusion, pulling out all sorts of bizarre items from a massive collection of storage seals. He felt his nearby Shadow Clone pop, and without a moment to conjure more, his defense turned into pure survival.

Some of the clones had odd, tacky-looking tube devices that popped with the sound of miniature explosive seals, firing rapid projectiles quicker than any kunai, and too quick to cut out of the air. Another fired from an even larger tube, and the explosive projectiles were shockingly precise. One unsealed and inflated an incredibly large balloon with fire, using it to gain aerial superiority, already too high up to be safely pursued with Skywalkers. All sorts of havoc was unleashed, as poison mist spewed from seemingly nowhere, fire burst up from the earth, and sheets of paper in the wind began firing projectiles at Sasuke, while others began chanting political theory and training exercise regimens.

Only moments into the second round of their duel, and Sasuke was already nearly overwhelmed, the rapid motion of his electrified katana the only thing keeping him alive.

Driven to the edge of the statue, Sasuke's Sharingan weren't enough to let him react to an economics manuscript thwacking him in the eye and sending him tumbling into the waters below. Damn it, Itachi just had too many tricks up his sleeve! "I...don't know if I can beat him…" he admitted to himself.

He braced himself for a water entry, but dreaded ascending the statue again only to meet the nightmare opponent that stood on it. He eyed his landing zone, as his Sharingan picked up a large group of chakra beasts making their way up the mountain to reinforce Itachi. Great. Wait a minute…

A gust of wind slowed his descent and before he knew it he was snatched out of the air, a pack of dogs - no, Dogs - running their way up the side of the statue. But how…?

He was released from the wind jutsu and dropped gently on the statue's top, the Dogs forming a barrier between himself and Itachi. Hazou stood before him, grinning like an idiot, a sword in his hand.

"Hey pal, I think you dropped this."

Itachi glowered at them, looking between the legs of what could only be the Dog Boss, Cannai, his tongue lolling out good-naturedly.

Itachi screeched, "You! I broke you, destroyed your mind...you were less than nothing...how can you still be in such great shape after being comatose for eight months?!"

Hazou blinked twice. "Uh, Akimichi food pills?"

Itachi continued glowering, the silence stretching a bit too long. "Also, how did you fix your mind?!"

Hazou launched into what Sasuke was 98.65% sure was a prepared speech.

<=======================>

Hazou launched into his prepared speech. "I didn't fix my mind. It was as you said, I was less than nothing. I couldn't string a single thought together. I had no awareness, or connection to my senses. I now think that I could feel myself floating at the edge of Naraka itself, my soul tattered and decayed like Those We Miss. You nearly erased me from existence utterly, and you would have, but in your arrogance, you left me in the hands of my greatest asset: the ones I love."

Itachi's face screwed up in fury at the statement but he was too desperate to know how he was defeated to interrupt.

"You wanted to bring me to my lowest, and show the ones I cared about most the lows that human depravity can stoop to. But there's something you don't seem to get, even after taking everything about what I am. The Goketsu don't give in to anything, not to tyrants, not to nature, not to Death itself. Sure, there are problems we have to lie low for, bow our heads in recognition that we can't yet handle it. And we fuck up too, Sage knows we fuck up. But we don't quit, ever."

Sasuke snorted softly. Hazou thought he heard him mutter, "No kidding."

Hazou walked between Cannai's legs, exposing himself utterly to Itachi's whims, as Itachi merely watched, furiously enraptured by the speech.

He continued, "The Goketsu research, we train, we work at our goals until we accomplish them. Noburi's medicinal skills, Keiko's logistical abilities, Akane's raw talent for empathy, Kagome's esoteric knowledge of the soul, and all the experiences we've shared gave the firmest foundation one could ask for for Yamanaka mind dives. Ino spent more time in my head than she did sleeping, every day, just to catalogue the damage. All that, just to establish what was left of me. It gave Mari the will and the way she needed to create her finest jutsu to date: The Truth Found in the Fog. Because if there's one thing a Goketsu knows, it's that in the darkest corners of this dismal and painful world, a Light shines within each of us, no matter what the world thinks it can do to dim it."

Itachi gave a painfully fake laugh, his eyes spinning. "There's no such thing as Light," he spoke, activating Tsukuyomi once more. His clones stood by to guard him. Hazou willingly allowed the Ultimate Genjutsu to wash over him, the environment warping around him until only he and Itachi remained, the sky an angry orange and the ground a colorless pool of water. Itachi became millions of Itachis, attempting to lash Hazou to a cross, spears in hand.

"Oh, right... there was one other thing about the Death of the Self and coming back from the edge of oblivion with the help of others," Hazou mentioned off-handedly, black streaks of what looked like ink wrapping themselves around his bare arms, legs, and face. They were not unlike an expanded pattern of the tomoe of a Mangekyou Sharingan.

"No!" an Itachi cried out. "I know you only thought that was a joke, I saw it all-"

"Mangekyou Iron Nerve: Tsukuyomi," Hazou intoned.

Itachi's Tsukuyomi stretched Hazou's perception, turning a moment into nearly three days of time. Hazou's Tsukuyomi stretched his own perception once more, turning every moment in this vision to another three days.

The Itachis all froze in place, their reactions simply too slow to keep up. Hazou roared and charged the crowd, obliterating every Itachi in his path. Heads exploded into feathers, crows unable to even fully manifest in the slowed illusion. Hazou's perception was simply too quick, and he carved through the miasma like a hot katana to a brick of butter.

Moments later, the illusion shattered, though the black patterns on Hazou's body remained. Itachi fell to his knees, clutching his head and screaming. Before anyone had a chance to react, he made handseals Hazou's eyes couldn't even track and slammed his hands into the ground.

"IMPROVED EDO TENSEI NO JUTSU!" Itachi screamed, and dozens of boxes popped up from the ground, the corpses within coming to life.

Sasuke appeared beside Hazou. "I'd give that one an eight-and-a-half out of ten."

"What are you talking about? That speech was easily a nine-and-a-half, if not a ten."

"I'd give you lower, but you really knew your audience. It kinda carried you."

Hazou grunted disagreement, before looking back at the crowd of zombies before them. Each of them bore red pinwheel eyes.

Sasuke hissed. "Itachi, you really have no sense of honor, do you? Or dignity. Or irony. Or hypocrisy, or-"

Itachi shouted "Uchiha! Defend me until my ritual has completed! Then you may earn your place in the new world!" Sasuke's undead clansmen began making formations.

"I'll take care of our dead relatives, you handle the living one," Hazou said.

"You're lucky that I agree or I'd cleave you in two for thinking you could tell me what to do."

"Careful, I might just come back for revenge," Hazou said, turning back to Cannai and giving a nod.

Cannai's voice boomed so that even in the carnage below, every ninja within a dozen miles could hear his words. Some of the combatants below even stopped to turn and look.

"Dog Clan!"

The Dogs stiffened, poised for combat. The world was silent.

"Fetch!"

With that, the Dogs leaped into the fray - literally. Cannai crushed one Uchiha outright, as cones of light came from his eyes, causing everything caught in it to freeze up, much like a chakra deer in sunlight. Candoru, now nearly the size of a chakra horse, had another zombie by the throat, swinging him around wildly.

Hazou jumped and intercepted a blast of Amaterasu aimed at Cantelope, his Mangekyou Iron Nerve allowing him to shape the fire to himself. He concentrated the black flames at his fists and began terminating with extreme prejudice. He exchanged punches and kicks with a taller woman, with each contact spreading more of the flames to her. Before long an arm burned off and she couldn't keep up with Hazou's movements. He punched a hole straight through her chest, her essence floating up into the whirlwind above.

Hazou grimaced. Hopefully their souls weren't getting obliterated right now. It would be quite the bitter taste for Hazou to be so close to truly resurrecting the Uchiha, only for Itachi to bring about their permanent destruction.

Candy barked out, "Incoming!" and sure enough, at least ten Crow were converging on their position.

They swooped overhead and began harassing Cannai, firing off bolts of fire, streams of sand and glass, and one technique that was what looked to be of the fabled Corn element.

Hazou created an Earth Wall below his feet, rapidly accelerating himself in their direction. Sprouting two Shadow Clones in the air, he and his clones began hurling explosives, though not in time to prevent Cannai from popping.

"Earth Style: Stonefall!" Hazou Prime called out, creating dense boots of Earth on his outstretched legs, only to torque his body, swinging the earthy boots loose to adjust his trajectory in midair, slamming two fists into a confused Crow watching a Human fly. Heh, if they thought that was weird…

Hazou landed with an Earth Cushion technique, effortlessly unsealing a mannequin with a Flight Suit on it. (NO HE WOULD NOT CALL IT A SQUIRREL SUIT NO MATTER HOW MUCH AKANE INSISTED, WHO CARES WHERE THE IDEA CAME FROM?!) He substituted with the mannequin, instantly equipping the suit, and quickly infused the seal blanks on the wings and boots. Even those few seconds nearly gave an Uchiha zombie an opportunity to fireblast him, but Canun easily intercepted it with a mass of vines and distracted them.

Chakra surged through the boots and Kagome's rocket jump seals flared to life, launching Hazou into the sky. The rush of adrenaline from takeoff never got old. Soon, he was flying circles around the Crows, who were furious on someone encroaching on their domain. Well, at least until the ninja wire he was trailing behind himself tightened rapidly, popping three of them at once.

His Tsukuyomi burned nearly a sixth of his reserves the first time he used it. As he did so again he could tell he was near empty on chakra already, having deployed two shadow clones, but he was confident it was the right choice. The altered perception allowed him to take in the battlefield with ease. Though his actions were not sped up in the real world, he had plenty of time to aim, plenty of explosive kunai to hurl, and plenty of targets to choose from. If his perception was still in real-time, he'd be cackling madly.

<=======================>

Sasuke's third bout with Itachi wasn't going much better than his first two, though at least he had allies to fall back on this time. Sasuke's eyes kept flicking back and forth, his Sharingan determined to predict Itachi's movements, but their intuitions were not honed enough to keep up. It would be Sasuke's luck for Itachi to have absorbed some of that horrid fighting style Hazou employed and utilize it against him now. Constantly playing a reactive game was wearing away at Sasuke's will and chakra all too quickly. Itachi had all of Hazou's insane ideas and the means, skill, and resources to pursue any or all of them, no matter how impractical they might be.

Horrific ninja wire contraptions whizzed by his ear, as the ground below him turned to hot sludge. He leaped aside, cutting a Water Bullet in two, only to get blasted back as there were touch-sensitive explosive seals within. Getting to his feet immediately, he still had no time to formulate any kind of strategy or even put his sword away to form hand seals.

Three Itachi clones rushed him, rapidly substituting between each other, before lashing out with shuriken, a mighty Fuuton technique that nearly toppled him, and a blast of fire on top of that. Where the hell was he getting all this chakra?! What demented idea did Hazou's brain give Itachi?

A Hazou clone gave him the briefest of openings by charging the three clones on all fours and declaring, "I am Goketsu Hazou, master of Doggy Style!" It distracted one of the clones just long enough for Hazou-1 to grab him by the head and slam it into his knee, shattering the scaly jutsu and dispelling the clone. The other two recovered quickly and fired a quick salvo of fiery pellets, but Sasuke was already there, his path like an arc of electricity as his Raiton technique carried him to his target, plunging a sword through its chest and cleaving the head off the other in two quick motions. Itachi Prime made three more that started sprinting their way.

"Damn it! How am I supposed to survive this onslaught of bullshit? It's your garbage Hazou, what do we do?"

"You're trying to out-anticipate him too much Sasuke, that's his thing. He knows how you're going to react to everything. Don't worry about all the bullshit, just get in there and hit him in the face."

"What?"

Hazou smirked. "Or whatever the equivalent is with a sword."

"I can't get to him, that's the problem! He has too many tricks up his sleeve."

The Hazou clone gave a skeptical shrug, rushing back over to the crowd of Uchiha. The Crows were gone, but nearly all the Dogs were too, and there were still at least eight Uchiha left. Hazou could handle it, but it left Sasuke on his own.

Sasuke needed to finish this up quick. Just run over and hit him in the face?

He dispelled his last overcharged clone for one more boost of chakra, then summoned three more to his side. They immediately flared up with the telltale blaze of Flame Aura, circling around Prime as he made his way to Itachi.

An Itachi clone spewed a wind technique that released flammable gas, igniting from the Flame Auras. Expecting a trick in the fire, he prepared to leap back, before hesitating and leaping through the flames instead. Twin red eyes widened in surprise as Sasuke planted a fist in a clone's face, popping it.

Seals immediately pelted Sasuke with high speed pebbles and glass shards, the air rained down electrified droplets of water, and more clones were firing off a barrage of flaming shuriken. Sasuke prepared to evade, then changed course once again, sapping the Raiton chakra from the drops into his sword and cutting the shuriken out of the air, allowing the pebbles and glass to hammer painfully against his skin. He flung the overcharged katana into the chest of another Itachi, causing an explosion of sparks, before an electric current guided it back into his hand. Sasuke's clones were already pushing ahead of him, clearing the way with blasts of fire.

Itachi Prime was preparing to replace the lost clones. Oh no you don't. Sasuke instantly unsealed a massive shuriken, pirouetting in the air and hurling it directly at Itachi. Itachi had to stop to bat it aside, but by then Sasuke had already substituted with it, swiping at Itachi. Itachi ducked left and right with as minimal of movement as possible, producing what looked to be a sword hilt from his belt. Something clicked, and a high pitched whine began crescendoing into a register so high Sasuke couldn't hear it.

Itachi swung the contraption and the blade of Sasuke's sword detached itself from the hilt instantly. Sasuke, panicking at the latest bout of insanity, prepared to leap back and away from the invisible weapon...then changed course once again, deflecting Itachi's hand with a swift kick and punching him in the face. Itachi stumbled back, attempting to get him away with another swing of the sound-weapon, but Sasuke punched him in the face before the swing could complete, causing him to drop the weapon, which Sasuke immediately kicked off the cliff.

Itachi's Sharingan began to flare, and Sasuke countered with a swift punch to the face. Itachi reached for seals, only to get another punch in the face. He brought his arms up to guard his face only to get tripped and punched in the face. By then, it was over. Sasuke's gym techniques were simply too much for Itachi's face to sustain, and the power of the Sharingains triumphed over Itachi's evil as blow after blow connected with his brother's face.

Barely conscious, Itachi managed a laugh through his swollen visage. "I admit it...you've defeated me. So what? It doesn't matter, little brother. You can't stop this ritual in time. Hazou's knowledge is useless without my abilities. Nagato will be returned to this world, and all shall be as it should!"

Right on cue, Fate sided with Sasuke as the Doomstorm began to recede. The wispy tendrils of energy spiralling in the sky collapsed into a green ball of light, detonating so brightly that Sasuke was temporarily blinded without even looking directly at it.

When his hearing came back, Sasuke said, "That would be Kagome's doing, I believe."

Hazou, wearing a bizarre winged suit and covered in scorch marks, appeared beside Sasuke. "You managed to force Kagome to craft a sealing array with the help of other people, in the field, without any prep? You're lucky it wasn't him up here fighting you, because I'm pretty sure your suffering wouldn't end even after reality itself crumbled away and conscious thought became impossible."

Itachi was spluttering, unable to string a coherent sentence together.

"Hazou, I think your insanity has fully engulfed his mind."

"Hmm, talk about starting a race at the finish line."

Sasuke picked Itachi up off the ground, grasping his throat with one hand, and activating Chidori in the other.

"Sasuke...I only wanted to make a world worth living in...for you…" Itachi muttered.

"You've done a real bang-up job so far," Sasuke answered, plunging his hand through his brother's chest. "But I think I'm gonna leave the rest of it to Hazou."

Itachi was dropped to the floor, groaning as life slowly faded from his body.

Hazou crouched next to him. "Hey, don't sweat it, we'll bring you back later, after we help priority victims first. You're going to be in a powerless civilian body, though."

"Ass...hole…" Itachi murmured, and breathed no more.

Sasuke spoke before Hazou got the chance. "Pot, kettle, etc. Yes, very funny, good one Hazou."

Hazou grinned and shook his head, pulling out a storage seal and stowing Itachi for later.

With the Doomstorm gone, Leaf seemed to have mostly routed the monsters, corralling them into a killzone, so now it was only a matter of cleanup. Sasuke and Hazou began making their way down the side of the statue into the Valley of the End. "Say, how did you know face-punching would work so effectively with my Secret Techniques?"

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