Homura is way more goal-conservative than everyone else - she won't Witchbomb Mami indirectly, unless we have persuaded her to. I think we are challenged to find the best way for Mami to understand the reality of time travel, as she is a very different girl than Sayaka. The point where we win, is that Mami and Madoka turned her into a hero. That fact will outweigh the rest.
That is why I consider it absolutely the time to insert "cosmological evidence," things that will make time travel feel more reasonable - AND - give us a place to hold up more hope when de-witching needs to be explained to Mami.
Our eventual procedure to adapt Mami to the Witchbomb requires interlocking support, and thus I can't see this happening without restoring Kyouko to her circle, and having as many girls in on the secret as possible in her audience. Given the superior qualities Mami possesses, it will be possible to connect her to a reasonable new stable reason to exist, if we just make that observable before the despair hits. Oriko will likely be our greatest help, in truth.
No way should this happen now, however.
My joy at Homura literally taking Mami's hand on this become large enough that it is hard to measure. That doesn't stop me from keeping our eyes on the prize, and producing well-rounded healing. We should be wondering what menu Homura has planned, and be certain it executes perfectly for both of them. I suspect Homura will be trying to argue FOR isolating herself from Madoka here.
That still qualifies as "vast increase in personal connection with Mami," but requires some fast thinking from Sabrina.
This (type of emotional scene) is the foundational power that can save, everyone.
Please explore best responses to "Homura is engaged in negative thinking." There is variety in that, and it is our primary antagonist to defeat here IMHO. Just a prediction, but not idle thinking.
@Vebyast - post #153274, in regard to your words. Result, meaning, intent, no longer have bearing on what I must say.
You are way over the line.
...I love how you keep missing the entire point of these posts.
You have good points, but you are being -to be blunt- a rude-ass bitch every time you raise them, and frankly I'm starting to not care how right you are when you're so obnoxious about it.
Stop attacking people for no fucking reason. Just stop. You have literally driven someone out of the thread with this bullshit. Cut it the fuck out. If you think you're justified in acting like this then you're wrong because this kind of asshole behaviour is not justifiable.
This is strange to me, because, to be frank, that's not an excuse, not our problem, doesn't give him the right to inflict his personal problems on the thread, and if said problems are that bad, he should get some kind of help-- things I seem to recall him telling Kaizuki in effect during one of their arguments. His contributions to the quest are valuable, but unrest in the thread over his attitude has only bubbled up to the point of people openly complaining about it because this has been a consistent pattern of behavior over the course of months-- I've seen people awarded thread vacations for being less combative and disrespectful.
I'm sympathetic to people under a lot of pressure taking approaches to the thread that are... suboptimal, to put it mildly. Heck, I've been a real asshole myself on numerous occasions, so it'd be extremely hypocritical of me to do otherwise. But @Vebyast 's recent behavior is clearly out of line. Even if it isn't strictly against the rules, it definitely isn't following our directive to "be kind to each other."
So yeah. I don't think that this has to go to threadbannings or anything like that yet, but Veb should probably make a greater effort to moderate his tone, make amends with those he's insulted, and in general strive to be more good-spirited towards the other posters in the future.
And... frankly, I don't think I'm out of line in suggesting that everyone here reads PMAS and participates in the thread does so for the sake of their own enjoyment? It's a story that we're all collaborating on writing. Vebyast should probably re-evaluate his own approach, and make sure he's coming at PMAS from an angle that he personally is having fun with -- the impression I've been getting is that it's become a source of stress for him instead.
I don't want to dogpile, but the thing is that hating yourself really isn't an excuse for being an ass to people or starting fights. it can be a reason but not an excuse
I deal with a lot of mental issues and self hate over said issues and life in general. like enough that I've actually lost entire years of my life due to suicide attempts and such.
that kind of thing still wouldn't be an okay reason to lash out at people or take anger out on them, even though I admit I have done that in the past
mental health stuff isn't a crutch you can fall on and deflect criticism with, its something in your life that is a difficulty that hopefully you can work through with time and effort
The past week or so I've been binging this quest, and now finally I have caught up to the current post. I've enjoyed it through and through, and Homura's development up to this point has been downright inspiring.
You cannot comprehend the happiness I felt at the end of this last update.
The past week or so I've been binging this quest, and now finally I have caught up to the current post. I've enjoyed it through and through, and Homura's development up to this point has been downright inspiring.
You cannot comprehend the happiness I felt at the end of this last update.
The past week or so I've been binging this quest, and now finally I have caught up to the current post. I've enjoyed it through and through, and Homura's development up to this point has been downright inspiring.
You cannot comprehend the happiness I felt at the end of this last update.
The past week or so I've been binging this quest, and now finally I have caught up to the current post. I've enjoyed it through and through, and Homura's development up to this point has been downright inspiring.
You cannot comprehend the happiness I felt at the end of this last update.
OK, you know what? Whether you disagree with Vebyast or not, this dog pile is getting egregious. I'm locking the thread for now, since the vote seems to be more or less settled, anyway.
I may or may not update this week. I'm not sure - it depends on whether I have the energy to get this sorted out or not*, because I've also got an important deadline to hit on Tuesday and a ton of work besides. And consider it a break, anyway, considering how high tensions are running.
@Roxas902, welcome to the thread, and I'm sorry it had to be to this.
gonna be honest here
Your attitude in this thread stinks. It's not in any way civil and you've driven another poster out.
I realise the thread has been locked for some time and so maybe this wont do much, but I'm hoping it will at least make you stop and think about the way you post on SV. Due to a breach of Rule 3 and Rule 4, I'm awarding you 25 infraction points and a three day holiday from the thread.
So I'm gonna abuse operator privileges to post an update.
I'm at a conference right now, and when it's done, I'll finally have the time to sort things out. PMAS will be resuming soon! Whether this weekend or the next depends on how exhausted I am after getting back from said conference.
You smile warmly at Mami, and then at Homura even as pride swells in your chest. This is a victory. For you, merely incidentally so - but for Homura? Homura learning to trust again? That is her victory. One you helped in, but you're proud of her.
Like hell you're going to take this away from her.
"It's your call, Mami, Homura," you say. "If you're both sure, then I think it'll be good to share."
And this... this lets you relax a little. It puts you on a more even footing with Mami, one more of your secrets unraveled. She's trusted you so far, that it's not your secret to share. But she deserves to know. She's always deserved to know - she's been part of this from the very beginning.
Chasing on the heels of that pride and relief is a worming concern. Homura's story... Homura's story is intimately tied with the nature of Witches. Of what happened to Madoka. You resist the urge to look back to Mami, because you're not sure. You're not sure this is the time to tell her. She's stronger than she knows, and given the impetus, you know she can push through it. You could see the case to tell her now, to bring her in fully. But...
You broke her once. You don't want to do it again. Not to a friend, not to anyone you know, not to your enemies, and not to Mami.
Homura raises her chin a fraction of a centimeter, meeting your eyes steadily.
Trust.
She's trusting Mami. Trusting you. She knows as much as you do about Mami. You can trust Homura not to tell something she shouldn't.
There'll be better times to tell Mami. You have time to build her up. To come to her with a solution, perhaps, rather than just bad news. This is about Homura, now. It's her story to tell.
So you'll trust her. You'll help her where she needs it, but trust is a two way street - so you'll trust her.
"I'm sure," Homura says.
Mami nods, glances at you... and reaches out to take Homura's outstretched hand. You give her a warm smile, and loop your arm around her waist.
Homura closes her eyes, a slight tremor running through her body.
"... I need to transform," she says. She shuffles awkwardly on the spot.
"Oh! Right," Mami says, blinking and letting go of Homura's hand. "Um... you don't have to do this if you don't want to, Homura."
"No," Homura says. Her eyes are clear and expression resolute as she meets Mami's eyes. "You should know."
"Alright," Mami says. She shifts a little, turning in your hug so she can take your hand instead as the familiar blaze of amethyst light fills the kitchen. Bright enough to reflect off the taps and cast dancing spots of light across the walls, and Homura grabs her shield. A familiar whine of gears-
-and a familiar sense of dislocation, Homura suddenly no longer where she was. Her hand's on Mami's shoulder, clasping gently, and Mami gives you a quick smile before unspooling ribbon to tie you all into the timestop.
"I don't think I'll ever get used to this," Mami muses, shivering a little and looking around at the lifeless greys of Homura's magic.
Homura shrugs with one shoulder, fidgeting.
"Shall we go to the living room?" you prompt gently. "It'd be more comfortable if we could all sit down."
"You never got used to it before," Homura blurts, with a convulsive jerk of her head towards Mami - who rocks back, as if pinned by the sudden weight of Homura's gaze.
"... what do you mean, before?" Mami asks, blinking. But you can see uncertainty flicker across her face, her expression wavering even as she speaks. "Did... did we know each other?"
"I'm from the future," Homura says.
"Oh," Mami says. Her mouth works silently, no words coming emerging, until she eventually closes it, tilting her head thoughtfully to the side.
Homura fidgets uncomfortably, fingers twitching as if readying to reach for a weapon. This close, she won't outdraw Mami - you know it, she knows it, and you know it won't be necessary. You meet Homura's eyes, and smile. Her hand clenches tight, the tendons of her wrist pulling taut like steel cables.
The silence stretches on, until Mami finally breaks it with a quiet laugh.
"This... this explains more than it doesn't," Mami says warmly. Her expression wavers a little, and she turns to you.
"Not me," you say, squeezing her hand gently. "I'm... different. But I'm not a time traveler, no. And I'm yours, Mami. That hasn't changed."
Mami exhales slowly and nods, her hand tightening on yours. She flashes you a quick warm smile, and turns back to Homura. You follow your lead, surveying your friend.
Your friend, who has relief and disbelief both written on her face. The way her fingers hang slack, her eyes widened just a little bit in shock and her expression more open, just about as vulnerable as you've ever seen...
"Shall we take a seat?" Mami asks, smiling.
Homura nods again, jerky and twitchy, but turns towards the living room. You follow, and take your seats around the crazed-glass triangle of Table-kun. Mami sits close enough to you to bump hip-to-hip.
"Really, this does explain a lot," Mami says with a faint smile. "Among other things... I don't claim to know every magical girl out there, but a veteran like you, Homura? Who knows Mitakihara so well?" She huffs a quiet laugh, before it fades slowly in the face of Homura's silence.
"How bad was it?" she prompts gently.
"Bad," Homura says. "This... this isn't the first time I've... I've come back."
Mami nods quietly, absorbing that.
"It explains a lot," she says at last. "Madoka was a magical girl, wasn't she?"
Homura swallows, and nods once.
"I see," Mami says. And she probably does, too, chewing on her lower lip as she thinks it through. She looks up, and her hand seeks yours, squeezing tightly. "You made your Wish for her." Mami closes her eyes, exhaling hard.
"She saved me," Homura says, whisper-quiet and stricken.
Mami bows her head. "A worthy Wish," she murmurs. "What happened, Homura?"
"She saved me," Homura repeats. "She... I wasn't a magical girl. I was new in class. She was... she was friendly. A few weeks..." She blinks slowly, swallowing. "Now. Today, before. She saved me from a Witch. Madoka and you. Then... then she was my first friend."
She looks down at her hands, clenching and unclenching her fists. Her mouth opens to speak, but just like Mami before, words fail her.
You squeeze Mami's hand once, and shuffle around the table to gently wrap an arm around Homura's shoulders. You make sure you move slowly enough that she has time to pull away if she wants to - but she doesn't, hunching a little under your arm. Mami nods, and to your surprise, shuffles around the other side - not to hug, but she places a gentle hand on Homura's shoulder.
"Walpurgisnacht," Homura whispers. "You fight. You die. You were... you've always been someone to look up to. Madoka followed. She won."
The 'but' hangs in the unnatural stillness of the timestop, unsaid and all the louder for that.
"What... what happened to Sabrina?" Mami murmurs, her hand still on Homura's shoulder. "I... I can't imagine you wouldn't have fought, Sabrina."
"She wasn't there," Homura answers, shaking her head and looking to you.
"As far as I know, throughout all of Homura's loops, this is the first time I've existed," you say carefully, taking it as a cue to answer. You don't want to take control of this conversation, to speak over Homura. "Due to... a confluence of events last loop, possibly? But we'll come to that after?"
"Ah," Mami says carefully. "I..." She takes a breath, and nods firmly. "Alright. Go on, Homura? When you feel ready?"
"I... after. After. I made my Wish," Homura says. "I wanted to go back and do it again. To protect Madoka. To fight at her side. I, I... I saw her again. You were our teacher. It was..." Her hand rises and falls weakly. "It was good. We, we won. I... Madoka. She didn't make it."
"I'm so sorry," Mami says. Her shoulders slump.
"It- it wasn't your fault," Homura murmurs, gaze flicking up to Mami for a second. "Your training was good. The best. I... things went... bad, the next time. Your training kept me alive. Sayaka was there, too. She didn't like me, and then she... died. At the end, I, I had to, I-" Her voice chokes off, throat working soundlessly.
She had to mercy kill Madoka, to prevent her from becoming a Witch - after Madoka used Sayaka's Grief Seed to save her. None of that gets said, Homura's words strangled before they can be said by trauma and necessity both.
"I'm so, so sorry," Mami whispers. "I can't even begin to imagine what you've gone through, Homura."
"I..." She stills, hands wringing together on her lap before she notices what she's doing and flattening her palms against her thighs. "I haven't... you haven't believed me. In a long time."
"I believe you now," Mami says firmly.
"I kept trying," Homura continues, as if Mami hadn't spoken. Her gaze is fixed on her hands, unseeing. "I... I just..." Her shoulders hitch, as if she's trying to stifle a sob. "Madoka..."
"Shh," Mami whispers, hand moving to rub Homura's back in slow, soothing circles. You squeeze Homura gently, a reminder of your presence here, a reminder of everything different, and you check her Soul Gem. You'll need to cleanse it later. "It's alright, Homura. It's alright."
"I've failed," Homura whispers. "Over and over again."
"And you got back up every single time, Homura," you murmur quietly. "I don't know anyone who could have kept going like you have, over and over again. You're still fighting, and it's brought us here. We can win. All of us together."
Homura doesn't say anything. Mami's eyes, in turn, flick up to meet yours, and you incline your head slightly to the side and shake it slightly. Give Homura time to pull herself together, because she is strong. She doesn't need to be coddled, she just needs friends who believe in her.
"I haven't had-" Homura swallows. "I haven't had friends for a long time. I... I haven't been able to, to talk about this."
"I'm so sorry," Mami whispers. You can see the sympathy written in the set of her expression, the softness around her eyes and etched into the pull of her lips. Empathy from someone who understands the isolation, the pain of being surrounded by people and yet so very alone.
"And yes, Homura, we are your friends," you say.
"That's not what I meant," Homura rasps quietly, voice thick. "I haven't been able to convince anyone. Not for a long time. You die. Sayaka dies. No one's strong enough to face Walpurgisnacht. It..." Homura laughs once, sharp and bitter. "It's an unbelievable story. Only... only Madoka ever believed me. And I don't want her to know. She needs to stay away from all this."
"Sabrina believed you too," Mami supplies quietly.
"I've always been a weird case," you offer with a half smile.
"Oriko is someone you encountered before, isn't she?" Mami asks.
Homura stiffens slightly, the tension rolling through her body like a wave. "Yes."
"So things changed a lot because of what you did," Mami murmured, and nods. "If I may ask... how long has it been?"
"I've lost count," Homura says. "I don't know."
This time, the silence stretches out further, broken by the slow, ragged cadence of your breaths, and the rustle of cloth as Mami rubs Homura's back gently. Her hand brushes against your arm every now and then, a touch of warmth that fades all too quickly in the time stop.
"You have questions," Homura says at last, breaking the silence.
"I..." Mami shivers. "Most of them aren't important. I have good guesses, I think, and they can wait until I digest this. But I do have one that's... curiosity, I suppose."
"Ask," Homura says. Her attention flicks up to Mami. You can't see her expression, not the way you're positioned on Homura's other side, but you can feel the wary tension in her body. And yet.
And yet, it doesn't feel like she's readying to draw a weapon. She's bracing herself, not to fight, but to take something that might hurt.
"I..." Mami's eyes meet yours for a second. "If... what changed? That Sabrina is here?"
Ah. That question. But you've been prepared for this one, too.
"Last... last time. Just before this one," Homura says, shutting her eyes and taking a deep breath. "Madoka made a Wish, at the end. That everything could be fixed. And this time..." She gestures at you.
"That's kind of what my guess is too," you agree, nodding. "I'm... pretty sure I came into existence because of Homura, and Madoka. I've got some ideas for the details, some nice, some... not so nice. But." You meet Mami's eyes and smile, shifting your hand to capture Mami's hand. "That doesn't change anything for us, Mami. I have far more keeping me here."
"Alright," Mami says with a soft smile. She inclines her head slightly to the side, eyes flickering, and you nod. You're solid. There might be more to talk about later, but right now, Homura's in distress. You shift to hug Homura again.
"We have a simple goal, then," Mami says. "Keep Madoka -and all her friends- safe. Against Walpurgisnacht, and against whatever might come next. And I..." She breaks off. "The... the past mes. The other mes? I would have encouraged Madoka to make a Wish, wouldn't I? I... I wouldn't have known."
"It wasn't your fault," Homura says. She looks at Mami, and then down at her hands, curled lightly on her lap. "It wasn't."
Golden eyes meet yours for a split second, over Homura's bowed head. You nod slightly.
"It wasn't yours, either," Mami says. "Without knowing about Kyuubey, without knowing about our Souls... I wouldn't have believed."
"May I cleanse your Soul Gem, Homura?" you ask gently.
"Yes," Homura murmurs. She turns her wrist, rolling her hand so the Soul Gem faces you. With a thought, you draw a thick, rippling streamer of Grief from it, and banish it into extra-dimensional storage.
Homura takes a breath, and straightens slowly. "Thank you for listening, Mami," she says. "Thank you."
"You're my friend," Mami says simply. "How could I not?"
Homura shrugs a bit, looking from you to Mami.
"So we protect Madoka," Mami says. "But she won't accept being kept out of the loop, either. She wants to be useful, doesn't she?"
"She does," Homura murmurs. "She's always- she's always wanted to help, even when helping costs so much."
"She doesn't have to fight to help," Mami says. "We can work with that." She smiles, and draws closer to give Homura a hug, too, so that she's sandwiched between the both of you. "I'm on board, Homura."
You smile, a deep sense of satisfaction rolling through you. That's that, then.
[] Anything else to hit before Homura leaves?
- [] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)
[x] TO THE INTERNETS
-[x] Check email. Set up new-mail notifications, just in case.
-[x] Check back in with #nyantokanyaru.
--[x] Their reaction to you was a bit worrying. Is there someone other than Rionna going around ganking grief controllers or do grief controllers tend to be super territorial or something?
--[x] Ask about their local politics. With a grief controller acting as a force multiplier for a Clear Seed, you might want to get one to them sooner rather than later so they can share it around.
--[x] Also, Mitakihara has infinite cleansing and can accept refugees.
--[x] Talk Walpy. You are assembling an army. Even if they don't want to fight, it'd be great to have a grief controller with a clear seed to staff the trauma ward.
--[x] Ask if they know anything about the Iowa group. You're pretty sure they'll be gunning for you and you intend to do unto them before they do unto you.
-[x] #milesgloriosus and other channels as time and attention permit. Standard routine:
--[x] Introduce self, you're sending out feelers internationally and getting to know people, you have true cleansing, you want to help, share contact info, etc.
--[x] Mitakihara can accept refugees. You can refresh grief seeds if anyone is in urgent need.
--[x] Clear Seeds: Following what you told Nadia, inform if the group seems stable and helpful.
--[x] Gather information about Iowa and other threats, recruit for Walpy if reasonable.
---[x] Can segue from the Mitakihara refugee invite - "We can more or less guarantee safety, support, and peace, but we are expecting some inclement weather..."
=====
And we're back! It's good to be back in the saddle. Also, there's something truly urgent - I think this would be a good point to end for the night, as it were. This day has dragged out for a very long time.
So, as I said - I've got to go catch a plane. As in I literally need to head out the door right now.
But before I do, on the subject of Vebyast and the associated argument - I'll follow up with a statement at a later time. For now, drop the subject, drop the argument.
What a fucking wonderful update to come back to. It's so. So fucking nice to just... have Mami totally connect the right dots. To understand. To completely, unequivocally, unhesitatingly be in Homura's corner and on board with her exact goals and not even need to be told to understand Madoka's part in this and what needs to be done and
It is early in the morning, and yawning stiffly from his abode in the Clouds aboard the Airship R.C. Abatross, Cae murmurs to himself before finally retiring, "Wellll..... one last peak at SV won't hurt a bit, let's see what's new".
Checking the updates, he notices with astonishment and shock that Adfligo Systema is finally back on, and with it, the Quest continues. He nearly drops his evening glass as he murmurs, to no one in particular, "Aw hell... so much for sleep... worth it."
Seriously, this post was a long time coming, and didn't dissapoint! Hopefully my jaw stops aching soon from the stupid grin on my face... heh... probably not for a good while.
Its early in the morning for me, so I can't think of a vote this quickly other than a very rough idea of mentioning it to Mami that we were planning on bringing Sayaka into the loop soon (heh, loop, I kill myself), that way we have a wider range of options on how to keep Madoka safe, and that we can discuss this in detail another time.
I further agree with this motion. We the readers can recover from events like these thanks to the gaps of time between updates but I think we sometimes forget that those gaps don't exist for our beloved characters who will be just as emotionally drained come the next update as they were at the end of this one.
