[X] Kyoko might appreciate hanging out with Mami without you. You have been kind of monopolizing Mami. Ganging up on Sayaka might be fun?
-[X] If Mami doesn't go for it, honestly you're not sure what to do between now and dinner.
--[X] You have some half-formed ideas about throwing Mami's connection magic at the telepathy wall and seeing if anything sticks.
--[X] You and Mami could have a quiet afternoon together.
---[X] Photography date?
--[X] You could check with your other friends to see if they're up for hanging out.
--[X] You could fly to the Yamato shipwreck and retrieve it for Yuki to refurbish and install Sasami on the bow.
[X] If Mami wants to train Sayaka with Kyoko, hang out with your other friends.
Removed mention of Sayaka because it is a bit awkward and irrelevant, but I'm just not in favor of trying to subtly nudge Mami into this. It risks being misinterpreted as Sabrina not wanting to spend time with Mami, and "I think your old friend might want to spend time catching up with you without me third wheeling" is just not that unusual a problem.
Removed mention of Sayaka because it is a bit awkward and irrelevant, but I'm just not in favor of trying to subtly nudge Mami into this. It risks being misinterpreted as Sabrina not wanting to spend time with Mami, and "I think your old friend might want to spend time catching up with you without me third wheeling" is just not that unusual a problem.
Not directly related to the current vote, but at some point I really want to try and see if we can Griefhax up the Lasso of Truth. One of its more underrated features is that it prevents people from lying to themselves, which feels like it could be therapeutic if used on someone who has issues stemming back to objectively incorrect beliefs like "it's my fault my father murdered my mother and sister" or "the fact that I haven't managed to solo Walpurgisnacht means I'm a good-for-nothing failure who doesn't deserve to be happy."
It let Bruce Wayne claim he was a crimefighting persona he made up due to his childhood trauma and following PTSD, so I'm pretty sure that's not how that would work.
Even then, "I believe that X" as the explicit version or the implied version of it as "I say X is true" is always an objectively true statement, even if X is false in and of itself, like saying "grape soda is the best flavor (to me)" or "there's nothing wrong with pineapple pizza (to me)".
If anything, having some sort of Lasso of Truth being applied and then having them make such a statement would pretty much instantly grief spiral them to witchhood.
Not directly related to the current vote, but at some point I really want to try and see if we can Griefhax up the Lasso of Truth. One of its more underrated features is that it prevents people from lying to themselves, which feels like it could be therapeutic if used on someone who has issues stemming back to objectively incorrect beliefs like "it's my fault my father murdered my mother and sister" or "the fact that I haven't managed to solo Walpurgisnacht means I'm a good-for-nothing failure who doesn't deserve to be happy."
That... I dunno man, coping mechanisms exist for a reason, and I dont particularly like the idea of forcing someone to do anything therapy-related. I cant even properly put it in the words but it feels so wrong. I am heavily against this idea, full stop.
I really want to try and see if we can Griefhax up the Lasso of Truth. One of its more underrated features is that it prevents people from lying to themselves, which feels like it could be therapeutic if used on someone who has issues stemming back to objectively incorrect beliefs
Seems that you read something that wasn't there. There's nothing even implying (I think; I wouldn't know sometimes) that the proposed method would be utilized on others forcefully and/or without their consent.
It let Bruce Wayne claim he was a crimefighting persona he made up due to his childhood trauma and following PTSD, so I'm pretty sure that's not how that would work.
It let him say he was Batman because he was, in fact, Batman. If you used the lasso on someone else and asked "who's that guy in the pointy ears and cape," they would also say he was Batman.
Even then, "I believe that X" as the explicit version or the implied version of it as "I say X is true" is always an objectively true statement, even if X is false in and of itself, like saying "grape soda is the best flavor (to me)" or "there's nothing wrong with pineapple pizza (to me)".
Not necessarily. When it was used on a neo-nazi supervillain who was very much a true believer, he was reduced to tears by being forced to confront the actual truth about his beliefs and actions. That said, it's definitely a very situational tool for exactly that reason: while the truth would do Homura a world of good, it would obviously be an extremely bad idea to force, say, the Iowa Group to confront the absolute truth about everything they've done.
First off, I never said anything about forcing it onto people. I just think that our job would be a lot easier if we had a way to give people like Homura and Kyōko the option to see themselves for who they truly are. Second, I'm not really sure I'd call self-loathing a coping mechanism.
I doubt it would be an instant-win button or anything, even assuming we were actually able to make it in the first place. Letting Homura see that she has value as a person wouldn't erase the fact that she's watched everyone she cares about die on a regular basis for over a subjective decade, and as I said above, it would be worse than useless for dealing with actual villains, who are by definition in the most need of rehabilitation to begin with. It's just that in the extremely specific cases of a girl who could make the lives of everyone around her better and still think of herself as the devil, or a girl who was told by a guy with supernaturally enforced credibility that everything he did wrong was her fault, the lies they tell themselves are the exact opposite of comforting.
First off, I never said anything about forcing it onto people. I just think that our job would be a lot easier if we had a way to give people like Homura and Kyōko the option to see themselves for who they truly are. Second, I'm not really sure I'd call self-loathing a coping mechanism.
Coercing either Homura or Kyoko to use it would be straight up impossible. Because if you offer two people with extremely low self-esteem to hear "The truth" about them, they would instantly assume that the truth is much worse than what they say to themselves and in fear of said truth they going to refuse and avoid it like a plague. Hell, Homura and Kyoko? I bet you everything I have, VERY few people in general are willing to part with their illusions on the off chance its much worse than said illusions. You can may be make an argument that it can be used as finishing touch of a looooong series of therapy sessions but as a beginning? Hell no.
Update not today, I'm afraid, this one's ballooning a bit. On the upside, it should cover a bit more than usual. (Also, I fixed the continuity error with Sabrina's proxy body.)
Still cant find the damn quote that said feathers is someone we met before, I know firnz mentioned it before god dammit but I cant find it..... And worse I found an old post that made certain things more obvious in hindsight that makes me feel dumb.....
Argh. I really, really, really hate to do this, but I unfortunately have to delay the update again. All my energy's just gone at the moment, I'm sorry.
No worries, a delayed chapter is only delayed until it comes out, but a rushed chapter is rushed until you go back and spend even more time and energy doing a rewrite.
[X] Kyoko might appreciate hanging out with Mami without you. You have been kind of monopolizing Mami. Ganging up on Sayaka might be fun?
-[X] If Mami doesn't go for it, honestly you're not sure what to do between now and dinner.
--[X] You have some half-formed ideas about throwing Mami's connection magic at the telepathy wall and seeing if anything sticks.
--[X] You and Mami could have a quiet afternoon together.
---[X] Photography date?
--[X] You could check with your other friends to see if they're up for hanging out.
--[X] You could fly to the Yamato shipwreck and retrieve it for Yuki to refurbish and install Sasami on the bow.
[X] If Mami wants to train Sayaka with Kyoko, hang out with your other friends.
You hum thoughtfully, absently rubbing your thumb over the back of Mami's knuckles as you consider. The afternoon sun is a pleasant warmth above you, but not any more so than Mami's hand in yours, the scent of her shampoo and soap lingering even beneath the rust and must of the decaying old industrial district. A cool breeze rattles the fence.
"Well... I'll let you pick, Mami. The first option..." You beam at Mami. "I genuinely don't have any big ideas to push for right now. We could have a quiet afternoon together. Maybe spend some time experimenting with our magic - I did mention the idea with telepathy. Maybe we can go diving or something? Silly things like that."
"That all sounds amazing, Sabrina," she says, giving you an absolutely dazzling smile. "But what's the other option?"
"If Kyouko and Sayaka are doing their training, you could tag along with them?" you say. "I've been monopolizing you quite a bit, after all. Ganging up on Sayaka might be fun?"
"... just me?" Mami asks slowly, her hand tightening on yours.
"Yeah," you say. "It's not that I don't want you around or anything, Mami, never that. I'd spend every minute with you if I could, but... I think it might be better for the two of you if you did."
Mami's quiet for a moment, her grip almost painful as her fingers squeeze tight around yours.
"It's your choice, Mami," you say warmly. On an impulse, you lift her hand to your lips and press a gentle kiss to her knuckles. "I would be very happy to spend the rest of the afternoon with you, you know? Just... I'm offering the option."
Mami lets out a breath, slow and shaky.
"I... I think... you said we need to talk about Kyouko at some point," she says tentatively. "And I think that time has come?"
"I-" You blink, then smile gently at her. "If you want to?"
Mami laughs softly.
"We have a little time before school lets out," she says. "And, ah... it's an excuse for me to delay making a decision, but I really would like to hear your thoughts about Kyouko too, Sabrina. I can make a more informed opinion after hearing you out?"
"Sure," you say, smiling and pressing another kiss to Mami's knuckles. "I'm always, always happy to spend more time with you, Mami. But we should relocate somewhere nicer for this talk, I think. Home, or do you know a nice café that won't kick us out for skipping school?"
"I'm not sure, I'm afraid. I've never been out of school at this time before this," Mami says, giving you a reproachful look. "You've led me astray with your delinquent ways, Miss Vee."
You laugh, squeezing her hand.
"Let's head home, then," you say. "Your excuse slip might keep you out of trouble, but we probably shouldn't risk it."
"... actually, I have a better idea?" Mami says.
"Oh?" you ask.
"We've been there before," Mami says, smiling. "Get us airborne, Sabrina? All these warehouses are hardly fun to roofhop over..."
"Gladly," you say, returning the smile as your wings bloom from your shoulders. A thought is all it takes for Grief fog to billow around Mami, buoying her invisibly up into the air as you both rise into the sky, the fabric of your wings cutting a nightmare swathe through the afternoon sky.
"That way!" Mami says, pointing towards the city center with her free hand, and you laugh.
"Oh, I see," you say as you take off in that direction, Mami curled happily into your side.
A few minutes later, you're settling down on the antenna spars of the DBJ antenna spire, the sun-warmed steel rattling faintly under your combined weight. The wind is unsurprisingly strong up here, tugging at your coat and your hair as you lean back, looking out at your home. Mitakihara spreads out beneath your dangling feet, the heat haze warping the view of the city as you soak in the familiar, distant sound of vehicles and construction and people and life.
Equally familiar is the presence at your side, Mami leaning against you with a happy sigh, her hand cradled in both of yours on your lap. You both
enjoy the peace for a moment, but just a moment, both of you aware of the time ticking by.
"Alright," Mami says without lifting her head from your shoulder, her eyes closed. "Tell me?"
"Well... I'll begin with why I think it might be good for you and Kyouko to spend more time together," you say. "And frankly, it's because of me. Because the two of you had your own dynamic back then, and I'm the newcomer. I'm an intruder on that dynamic."
Mami doesn't respond for a moment, clearly thinking it over.
"That's true," she says. "But... we'd never be able to recapture that dynamic, because circumstances have changed. We're different people now, and... even if you're not there, you're still a part of my life now, Sabrina. That's not changing. And you're a part of Kyouko's life, too - the only reason she's back here is because you reached out to her, and brought her back."
"I... yeah," you agree. "Also true. But it's..."
"One thing at a time?" Mami suggests.
"One thing at a time," you agree. "I think she's uncomfortable at least in part because she feels she doesn't know you anymore. And... it seems like you feel the same about her."
"I wouldn't go that far, but... I can't really argue with that," Mami says. "It does feel like the Kyouko I knew... she was always brash and headstrong, but she was never quite so angry. Except... except at our last confrontation."
You squeeze her hand lightly between yours, Mami sighing lightly and nestling into your side in response.
"I can't take too much credit for this, though," you say softly. "It's largely Sayaka's idea. At this point... she has the best rapport with Kyouko, to be honest."
"Mm," Mami says. "Which is good. I'm glad they're friends."
"Yeah. Mostly, though..." You sigh. "Mostly, I think Kyouko's just uncertain. And because she's uncertain, she's lashing out. I think that re-establishing your dynamic, or figuring out where you stand now, would settle things out."
"Things will never go back to how they were," Mami says with quiet certainty. "I don't disagree with the general idea, neither do I disagree with your or Sayaka's evaluation of the situation, but..."
"It's not so simple?" you finish ruefully.
"It's not that simple," Mami echoes. "And it wouldn't be me spending time with Kyouko, either. It would be the two of us, Sayaka, and Yuma."
"But it could be a start," you say. "Towards finding a new baseline. Keeping things simple, while excluding the most, ah, disruptive variable."
"Mm..." Mami says, sighing.
"I know it's not an easy decision," you murmur, squeezing her hand gently. "But... yeah."
You feel Mami nod, her head moving against your shoulder as you both look out across the city. You'd naturally sat down facing south - south, towards Mitakihara Middle School, though you can't see it at the moment, with all the buildings in the way. Even so, you find your attention drawn that way, staring through the intervening skyscrapers to where the rest of your friends are.
Homura and Madoka and Sayaka and Hitomi, finishing their school day. Somewhere out there is Kyouko, and with her, Yuma, perhaps hunting more Witches still.
There's nothing pressing waiting for your attention. You'd had a busy, eventful morning, and a couple of things lined up for later, but there's no immediate pressure on you right this moment. It's nice.
"I... think I want to stay with you," Mami murmurs, sounding guilty and very small. "I'm not going to put off talking to Kyouko, but I don't want to jump into a big thing like that, not after this morning. Is... is that alright? It's... not too selfish?"
"That's absolutely alright, Mami," you say warmly, squeezing her hand gently between both of yours. "We'll check in on our friends when school lets out, see if Sayaka's going for the training, and then presumably this evening we'll link back up with Homura and Hitomi and probably Madoka, to go meet Yuki and sort things out there. Does that all sound OK?"
"It- does," Mami says, her voice catching slightly as tension bleeds out of her frame. You smooth your fingers gently along the back of her hand and her forearm, massaging gently. "It's- yes, that sounds good."
"Then that's what we'll do," you say. "Though speaking of what we'll do... photography date? Do some experimenting with our magic? We could see if our friends want to hang out? Sayaka'll be occupied with training, but the others aren't, so maybe we could tag along with them. Diving in the South China Sea?"
Mami blinks.
"The South China Sea?" she asks, giving you a dubious but amused look.
"Yup," you say. "Thirty-degrees-twenty-two-minutes north, one-hundred-twenty-eight-degrees-oh-four-minutes east, to be precise."
"That's terribly specific," Mami observes, then blinks, her head tilting in thought. "Wait, I think... South China Sea. Quite a bit to the south west of Kyuushu, I think?" She pauses. "I might be off the mark from history class, but... the Yamato? Really?"
"The Yamato!" you confirm, giving Mami a brilliant grin. "We can raise it, repair it, and give it to Miss Tsuruya as a gift, and she can stick Miss Koizumi on the prow."
Mami groans, then starts giggling.
"Oh, Sabrina," she says. "This is about Miss Parró's Iowa, isn't it?"
"It's not not about the Iowa," you say primly. "And besides, Space Battleship Yamato is an absolute classic."
"Mm..." Mami tries to look serious, but the giggles rapidly crack her expression and she slumps against your shoulder, laughter bubbling from deep within. "Oh, Sabrina."
"It's a perfectly valid idea!" you defend yourself, grinning.
"Perhaps," Mami says. "But I think we've dropped enough oddities on Miss Tsuruya's lap today, and we should refrain from adding more. Perhaps tomorrow, hm? And..." Her smile widens, golden eyes peeking up at you. "Diving sounds like it might be fun, but not today, either. I'd like all our friends to be able to come for that. What did you have in mind, when you mentioned experimenting with our magic?"
"Ah, remember what I mentioned earlier? I have some vague notions that it might be possible to figure out some form of telepathy using your magic, rather than relying on the Incubators," you say. "Or... I could do with another session of enchanting practice, or whatever you feel like, really."
"That's certainly a possibility," Mami says thoughtfully, and smiles at you, bumping her shoulder against yours. "Any time spent with you is a joy, Sabrina."
"I'm glad," you say, smiling. "Also, now that I'm reminded of photography, actually..."
A thought retrieves your newly-purchased camera from hammerspace, floating it out in front of you as Mami happily pulls your arm around her shoulder, beaming. You feel your own grin widening, and with the wind at your back, you click the button down with a sharp, satisfying snap.
"I want another picture when we can bring all our friends up here," Mami decides.
"Even Madoka and Hitomi?" you say with a grin as you tuck the camera back away into storage. You'll develop the picture later - it's an actual film camera, after all. You could snip out the specific frame and stitch the rest of the roll together, but it'd be mildly annoying.
"Hmm..." Mami considers the matter. "That is something of a sticking point. Do you know if they're scared of heights?"
You laugh.
"I have no idea. We'll figure it out, and if not... a group picture with all of us is definitely something we want," you say. "Gotta make enough copies for everyone too, of course."
Especially for Homura, you can't help but think.
The look Mami gives you suggests that she knows the direction of your thoughts, and her smile softens as she shifts her hand to interlace her fingers with yours. She gets it, after all, you know she does.
"Agreed," she says, smiling softly. "Shall we start heading to school? We can think about it on the way there."
"Would you want to hang out with Madoka and Homura and Hitomi?" you ask as you get to your feet. "I don't mind, either way. I... in principle, I don't mind joining Sayaka, Kyouko, and Yuma for training, either, if you want to go for that. I just think it might, well, annoy Kyouko."
Mami looks thoughtful as you both hop off the antenna spar, hand-in-hand. The metal creaks as it's relieved of your weight, and you spare a moment of thought to check it, a blizzard of Grief nanoparticles sleeting past steel to check for fractures and weaknesses in the mountings. You'd feel guilty if you'd caused it extra damage, after all, what with using it as a perch - but thankfully, you don't find anything unusual.
"Kyouko really doesn't hate you as much as you seem to think, you know?" she says. "It's... important for you to work out things between the two of you, too."
"I..." You sigh, raking your free hand through your hair. "It's funny, Yuma said something very similar to me, too. I don't really think she hates me, though I do play that up for the fun of it. I just... it's more that I don't really know how to relate to her, nor she to me, I think. I know what's up with her, sort of, but I don't really know how to talk to her."
Mami nods as the two of you take a long step off the edge of the building, transitioning to a smooth glide as you spread your wings, Mami's ribbon wings blossoming as a bright mirror to the nightmare darkness of your own.
"I think, in turn, you need to interact with her more, too," Mami offers, continuing just as smoothly in telepathy. "The hunt this morning was a good start, I think? Before it was interrupted, anyway. Maybe you should set it up as a recurring thing?"
"That's an idea," you say thoughtfully. "We'll run out of Witches eventually, but that's not a bad thing... maybe coordinate with Miss Watanabe and Miss Saito. Kasamino needs looking after, too, for all that there's less Witches there."
"That's true," Mami says. "But, ah... do you understand what I was trying to say?"
"There's no silver bullet to befriending Kyouko, yeah," you say with a sigh, snatched away by the wind. "I just need to spend time with her."
"Just as I do, too," Mami says. "Just... I do want a quiet day."
"Nothing wrong with that," you say. "Even if this one started a little too exciting."
Mami chuckles, beaming at you from across the spans of your wings. The conversation lapses, both of you content and happy as you soar above the skyscrapers of Mitakihara, riding thermals and the chill wind and an outrageous dollop of cheating with magic. All too soon, you're descending back towards the ground, landing on a rooftop and dropping back to ground level.
You make your way through the park before Mitakihara, the lush greenery offering relief from the afternoon sun. You're a little late to catch the end of classes, judging by the students already making their way out of the school gates, the air filled with chatter and relief.
"Yoohoo! Mami, Sabrina!"
You look up to spot Sayaka waving energetically, at the head of the group of your friends - Madoka and Hitomi evidently conversing about something, Homura hovering half a step behind and to Madoka's left.
"Was wondering where you were," Sayaka says by way of greeting as both of you make your way over.
"Huge airspace jam, birds were backed up all the way to the junction, you know how it is," you say solemnly.
"Ah, probably just picking up their chicks from the kindergarten down the street!" Madoka says brightly, looking up from her conversation.
"Probably, yeah," you say, nodding. "Bad planning on our part. Hey, everyone!"
"Hi!" Madoka says happily.
"So! Sayaka, quick question before I get too sidetracked, do you still have training with Kyouko today?" you say.
"Uhhhh," Sayaka says, scratching her hair. "I think so. I didn't talk to Kyouko 'bout calling it off, and I know I'm on 'vacation', but... eh, training is training. I don't really want to slack off on it."
You give her a considering look. She seems to have recovered well from this morning - or rather, she seems to have recovered from her abrupt introduction to how bloody magical girl violence can get, and she's looking at you without any trepidation. You'll take that as a good sign for her recovery, you think, though you should probably do a proper check-in with her at some point.
"Alright," you say, nodding. "Mami and I won't be joining you for that, today, but if anything comes up, give us a shout, yeah?"
"It's just training," Sayaka says, nodding. "But sure."
"Will you be coming with us while we wait for the paperwork, then?" Hitomi asks. "I admit, we don't have many concrete plans, but Madoka, Homura and I were considering going to a cafe while we wait - the order has already been put in, so it's just a matter of time."
[] [activity] Hang out with Madoka, Homura, and Hitomi
[] [activity] Not too late to opt-in to training with Kyouko, Sayaka, and Yuma
[] [activity] Spend time with just Mami
- [] [activity] Write-in any new ideas
[] [activity] Write-in (word count limit: 150 words)
=====
I took the liberty of letting Sabrina explain her thoughts on Kyouko - it's been in her thoughts already, and I didn't want to make a new vote for it. >_>
That said!
I'm hoping to actually finish the day within the next two or three or four posts or so. I believe that almost everything significant Sabrina wanted to accomplish today has been done, barring Yuki's claim and telling Shin about magic, and I don't have anything planned for today, either, and the day has lasted too damn long. It's partly my fault, given my atrocious rate of updates, but I'm trying to deal with it.
So I'm taking an informal poll on that, too, and for the first time I'll be using the task feature I wrote years ago (). So:
[] [day] Timeskip through most of it
[] [day] No, there's still something else
Do feel free, if there's something else. I'll keep an eye on things.
). So: