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Puella Magi Adfligo Systema

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@Redshirt Army is right about one big thing, now that I think about it further: we could fit the "then, later" part of the vote into the first line. I... That's probably a good idea.

[X] If at any time Mami's soul gem is getting moderately full ask if she wants us to cleanse it. If she says no, ask her to get a grief seed. If she says no and refuses to get a grief seed, ask again with additional emphasis and break to voting if she refuses again.
[X] At first, because Kyubey couldn't know. You're my friend, and it hurt keeping things from you. But I felt that I didn't have a choice. Maybe I could have tried harder, done better, I don't know. And then later, when he was gone... I've considered you a friend since the moment we met, Mami. But you became more. When Kyubey left -- maybe I should have told you then. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that because I'd kept it from you, it would hurt you, and I couldn't stand that. Not then.
-[X] Break back to voting if Mami interjects, unless she interjects to ask why Kyubey couldn't know, in which case
--[X] Because certain events that Kyubey would like to see happen would result in the end of the world.
-[X] If she doesn't interject, then continue with:
[X] Eventually, that was why I told you, also. I want to stay with you, Mami. And from the moment that I recognized that, I've known that I would have to tell you. How could I stay with you without telling you?

Added: "Maybe I could have tried harder, done better, I don't know" based on the input of @Julian Bradshaw.

Moved: the "later, when he was gone" section into the first line of the vote.

@Sereg thoughts on the change?
 
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We are going to need SOO many hugs after this....

I could see Homura trying to call us after this is over and we're too busy hugging Mami or something to awsner. Homura ends up breaking in because Sabrina does not awsner.

Homura: ... you told her
Sabrina: I told her.
Homura: You knew this would happen.
Sabrina: I couldn't kept it from her anymore.
Homura: ... *kneels down and puts a hand on Mami's shoulder* .... *pauses for a moment*
Endure the hardships of your present state,
Live, and reserve yourselves for better fate.
Sabrina: ... Virgil?
Homura: Aeneid
Sabrina: umm..
A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter;
she who finds one finds a treasure.
A faithful friend is beyond price,
no sum can balance her worth.
Homura: ... *nods* I'll leave you be for now.
*several moments pass*
Mami: ... Did you and Homura just quote Bible verses and Greek epic poems to each other>
Sabrina: .... yes?
Mami:... oh Sabrina.
 
DB_Explorer said:
We are going to need SOO many hugs after this....

I could see Homura trying to call us after this is over and we're too busy hugging Mami or something to awsner. Homura ends up breaking in because Sabrina does not awsner.

Homura: ... you told her
Sabrina: I told her.
Homura: You knew this would happen.
Sabrina: I couldn't kept it from her anymore.
Homura: ... *kneels down and puts a hand on Mami's shoulder* .... *pauses for a moment*
Endure the hardships of your present state,
Live, and reserve yourselves for better fate.
Sabrina: ... Virgil?
Homura: Aeneid
Sabrina: umm..
A faithful friend is a sturdy shelter;
she who finds one finds a treasure.
A faithful friend is beyond price,
no sum can balance her worth.
Homura: ... *nods* I'll leave you be for now.
*several moments pass*
Mami: ... Did you and Homura just quote Bible verses and Greek epic poems to each other>
Sabrina: .... yes?
Mami:... oh Sabrina.
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When dark clouds take light away
A Mami brings hope that day​
 
Kaizuki said:
When dark clouds take light away
A Mami brings hope that day​
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Kyoko: Strength, mindless, falls by its own weight; Strength, mixed with mind, is made more strong.
Sayaka: What the hell does that mean?
Kyoko: Without mastery, power is nothing... Sabrina stop squeeing
Sabrina: YOU JUST QUOTED ROMAN POETRY THOUGH.
 
[]Keep your gem clear. Talk urgently to Mami if she starts getting moderately high on grief, and cleanse her if she's really high and doesn't use a seed.
[]"...I was scared."
[]If Mami takes something badly or interrupts, give her time to process or hear her out.
[]I am your friend and I'll never stop caring about you.
-[]W-when we met...I pretended not to know. Because I...I was worried. About a lot of things. I was scared I'd make things worse, or that Kyubey would find out. That you and the others wouldn't believe me, or might take it badly. I really did want to help you, right from the start, and to be with you- because you were kind and I knew you deserved better. And then, later, after...after you learned about Soul Gems...I was scared, so scared, that I might hurt you like that again.
[] I swear I'm not like Kyubey. Mami...I care about you because you're you. None of that's ever been an act, or fake. I want to be with you. I want to help you. I...I just want you to be happy, because you're Mami, and you deserve to be.
-[]When we first met, I-I stayed with you because I thought I could help that way, because I knew who you were and what you'd been through, and because...you were nice to me, but...before long, it...didn't stay that way. Mami...You...you mean more to me than anyone else I've met. More than I knew from what was in my head when I met.
[]I'm so sorry, Mami. I really am, for keeping this from you for so long. For hurting you like this, again. But...I didn't want to keep this from you any more. Any of this. I...I thought you deserved to know.


Improvements to my original vote.
 
Redshirt Army said:
[x] Annoying Catgirl

:V
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Stardate 9 9 2016... We have arrived at the planet Meow. The denizens of this world are characterized by their feline features and annoying personality. A landing party returned with news that one of their number had developed a fatal nosebleed, and that the other members "never wanted to see hide or hair of those damn cats ever again."
 
Kaizuki said:
Stardate 9 9 2016... We have arrived at the planet Meow. The denizens of this world are characterized by their feline features and annoying personality. A landing party returned with news that one of their number had developed a fatal nosebleed, and that the other members "never wanted to see hide or hair of those damn cats ever again."
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...Prepare the cyclonic torpedoes.
 
Julian Bradshaw said:
[X] I wanted to help.
[X] (Watch your gem and Mami's. Cleanse yours as necessary, ask Mami before cleansing if possible.)
- [X] You needed a friend, and I wanted to be that friend.
- [X] But it's more than that now. Madoka, Sayaka, Hitomi - it's not the same. They're my friends, but they're not you.
- [X] I want to tell you this because I want to stay with you.
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Kaizuki said:
[X] Continue to cleanse as needed.
[X] Originally, because Kyubey couldn't know. You're my friend, and it hurt keeping things from you. But I felt that I didn't have a choice. Maybe I could have tried harder, done better, I don't know. And then later, when he was gone... I've considered you a friend since the moment we met, Mami. But you became more. When Kyubey left -- maybe I should have told you then. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that because I'd kept it from you, it would hurt you, and I couldn't stand that. Not then.
-[X] Break back to voting if Mami interjects, unless she interjects to ask why Kyubey couldn't know, in which case
--[X] Because certain events that Kyubey would like to see happen would result in the end of the world.
-[X] If she doesn't interject, then continue with:
[X] Eventually, that was why I told you, also. I want to stay with you, Mami. And from the moment that I recognized that, I've known that I would have to tell you. How could I stay with you without telling you?
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I read, currently, a single vote lead for the catgirl.
 
Firnagzen said:
I read, currently, a single vote lead for the catgirl.
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Can you just give us another day or two. If nothing else this vote has existed for roughly four hours, and as we see here

Onmur said:
I'll be as concise as possible here:

Couldn't you, IDK, like, kinda be like super less wordy-some?

C'mon there's like emotions going now.
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There are still questions about its wording.

@Onmur I don't knowwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww T_T

If you can reword this with the same content or similar enough content I will go into your post history and give you ten hugs.

The first line was originally two lines, which is part of why it's so long.
 
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Kaizuki said:
[X] Continue to cleanse as needed.
[X] Originally, because Kyubey couldn't know. You're my friend, and it hurt keeping things from you. But I felt that I didn't have a choice. Maybe I could have tried harder, done better, I don't know. And then later, when he was gone... I've considered you a friend since the moment we met, Mami. But you became more. When Kyubey left -- maybe I should have told you then. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that because I'd kept it from you, it would hurt you, and I couldn't stand that. Not then.
-[X] Break back to voting if Mami interjects, unless she interjects to ask why Kyubey couldn't know, in which case
--[X] Because certain events that Kyubey would like to see happen would result in the end of the world.
-[X] If she doesn't interject, then continue with:
[X] Eventually, that was why I told you, also. I want to stay with you, Mami. And from the moment that I recognized that, I've known that I would have to tell you. How could I stay with you without telling you?
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I'll throw my vote behind this as well, because I think it's better than the leading competitor.

One suggestion? What if we changed "I knew that because I'd kept it from you, it would hurt you" to "I knew that finding out would hurt you"?

Also, once again I must emphatically reiterate my concern that cleansing Mami's gem without checking with her first could upset her. It is literally the last thing we did before we got knocked to the floor and cocooned. She doesn't like it.

How about instead "Warn Mami if her soul gem is getting full. Cleanse it ourselves if it gets to dangerous levels"?

[X] Kaizuki
 
The Narrator said:
Also, once again I must emphatically reiterate my concern that cleansing Mami's gem without checking with her first could upset her. It is literally the last thing we did before we got knocked to the floor and cocooned. She doesn't like it.
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I don't know how to deal with it, though. I don't. Do we suggest that she get a grief seed? Is doing that a good thing, or does it alienate her from us? UGH.

Does she even know that grief affects thought processes???

The Narrator said:
"I knew that because I'd kept it from you, it would hurt you" to "I knew that finding out would hurt you"?
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At this point I'm just logging all suggested changes. I'm getting pretty tired and I've been thinking about PMAS all fucking day and I'm not sure I can currently make judgements on wording effectively. I agree that the text in question is awkwardly phrased.
 
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Kaizuki said:
There are still questions about its wording.
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You can start adjusting the obvious stuff out. It makes it easier to move towards a good end.

Replace or outright remove the word 'Originally'.

"First because Kyuubey was here..."

"Kyuubey was here..."

Maybe we'll end up with an altogether different line, it doesn't really look good right now, but still you know we can't react so calm and wordy here, so please edit that bit.
 
Onmur said:
You can start adjusting the obvious stuff out. It makes it easier to move towards a good end.

Replace or outright remove the word 'Originally'.

"First because Kyuubey was here..."

"Kyuubey was here..."

Maybe we'll end up with an altogether different line, it doesn't really look good right now, but still you know we can't react so calm and wordy here, so please edit that bit.
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Put in "At first". Good?

nekcihc said:
How about "I knew that it would hurt you, finding out that I'd lied to you"?
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Response after shower.
 
Kaizuki said:
I don't know how to deal with it, though. I don't. Do we suggest that she get a grief seed? Is doing that a good thing, or does it alienate her from us? UGH.

Does she even know that grief affects thought processes???
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I seem to recall that "Grief makes you irrational" came up during our confrontation with Ono.

Mami had a grief seed with her at school. She probably has it with her here, too.

And if she doesn't, even just asking first instead of just reaching into her soul without permission could make it much more acceptable to her. We've been entirely too blasé about doing that at times when she's upset with us. Last scary conversation we had with her, cleaning her gem caused her to flinch away from us. This time, it caused her to restrain us. She doesn't like it.

nekcihc said:
How about "I knew that it would hurt you, finding out that I'd lied to you"?
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"I knew that it would hurt you, finding out that I kept things from you."

Less likely to upset her, but also more accurate. This is more about keeping secrets than outright lies.


EDIT: We might also want a stronger emphasis on how much we care about her right at the start, too. Her self-esteem and abandonment issues seem to be at max right now, and if we don't provide some reassurance right off the bat, she might not listen to anything else we have to say.

Okay, I'm going back to bed.
 
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Because certain events that Kyubey would like to see happen would result in the end of the world.
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Do we actually know this? I thought that we've never confirmed Madoka still has her usual massive potential, and it's possible (if not necessarily likely) it somehow got used in creating Sabrina instead.

I can't say I trust the new idea of centering our immediate response around Kyuubey, but then again it's incredibly hard to know what to do here.
 
[X] Continue to cleanse as needed.
[X] Originally, because Kyubey couldn't know. You're my friend, and it hurt keeping things from you. But I felt that I didn't have a choice. Maybe I could have tried harder, done better, I don't know. And then later, when he was gone... I've considered you a friend since the moment we met, Mami. But you became more. When Kyubey left -- maybe I should have told you then. But I couldn't bring myself to do it. I knew that because I'd kept it from you, it would hurt you, and I couldn't stand that. Not then.
-[X] Break back to voting if Mami interjects, unless she interjects to ask why Kyubey couldn't know, in which case
--[X] Because certain events that Kyubey would like to see happen would result in the end of the world.
-[X] If she doesn't interject, then continue with:
[X] Eventually, that was why I told you, also. I want to stay with you, Mami. And from the moment that I recognized that, I've known that I would have to tell you. How could I stay with you without telling you?
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I think there's a big problem here in that the first line half heartedly brings up Kyuubey. Kyuubey is a BIG DEAL. If we're gonna bring up Kyuubey, which we can't fully do right now, I know, we should actually go through with it and explicitly mention how we hurt Mami the time we revealed the truth about Kyuubey.

Yes, it sucks, but it doesn't suck any more than bringing up Kyuubey right now; if we aren't willing to bring up to Mami the last bomb-conversation to that extent, we shouldn't be mentioning KB at all.

Streamlining attempt #1:

[X] Continue to cleanse as needed and break to voting if Mami interrupts.
[X] I didn't have a choice. I wanted to, but Kyuubey was here, and I can't let it find out what I know. I thought after it was gone, maybe I could tell you... but I hurt you, so much that I couldn't bear it to do it again.
-[X] I should have, I really should have come clean, but by then I realized you were so much more to me than a friend, that I just couldn't bring myself to hurt you again. Not like this. Not like now.
-[X] But it was so much worse to keep lying, because then I'd have to keep lying forever. Because I don't want to leave. I want to stay, and live with you.
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We should keep the stuff about KB and the world out of this conversation if we can; if Mami does ask, we can maybe address it.
 
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Okay. So:

The entire point of the vote boils down to "let's answer Mami's questions truthfully and honestly to the best of our ability."

The first line responds to "Why did you hide things from me and/or manipulate me?" If the question she's actually asking is different from that somehow, she'll either interject -- prompting us to answer a new question -- or she'll let us keep talking anyway and we'll get out the extra bit about how much she means to us.

As long as the first line answers "Why did you hide things from me and/or manipulate me?" fully and honestly, the wording is largely malleable -- personally, the only parts I specifically want to see in the first line are:

> Kyubey couldn't know (official answer for first period of time in which we didn't tell her)
> I didn't want to tell you because I couldn't stomach the idea of hurting you (official answer for second period of time in which we didn't tell her)
-> Note: "couldn't stomach" -- there is a difference between "didn't want to" and "I wanted to but I couldn't get myself to do it," and IMO the latter is much better implications.
> I should have told you when Kyubey left (bringing the fact that we have made mistakes into the picture -- not the characteristic of a puppet master)

On the cleanse issue,

The Narrator said:
"Warn Mami if her soul gem is getting full. Cleanse it ourselves if it gets to dangerous levels"?
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We're adopting this attitude. Specifically,

[] If Mami's soul gem is getting moderately full ask if she wants us to cleanse it. If she says no, ask her to get a grief seed. If she says no and refuses to get a grief seed, ask again with additional emphasis and break to voting if she refuses again.
 
Bam.

[x] If Mami's soul gem gets >60% full ask to cleanse it.
-[x] If she says no, ask her to get a grief seed. If she says no and refuses to get a grief seed, ask again with additional emphasis and break to voting if she refuses again.
[X] I didn't have a choice. I wanted to, but Kyuubey was here, and I can't let it find out what I know. I thought after it was gone, maybe I could tell you... but I hurt you, so much that I couldn't bear it to do it again.
-[X] I should have, I really should have come clean, but by then I realized you were so much more to me than a friend, that I just couldn't bring myself to hurt you again. Not like this. Not like now.
-[X] But it was so much worse to keep lying, because then I'd have to keep lying forever. Because I don't want to leave. I want to stay, and live with you.
 
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