Noburi needs to remove rust. What mission to send him on? Live capture Bingo Book targets in Leaf? If there are rogue sealsmiths to find, Project Necromancy gets new volunteers.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rational rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard open voting
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I'm def not in major disagreement with your line of logic if we decided that 3D sealing is the most viable solution to solving the dragon problem. I am just not super convinced that it is the ideal solution to winning the DRAGONWAR.
One of my biggest problems is with how little we have actually engaged with the Dragon plot line. It seems to me that early on we came to the conclusion that ES was the problem and basically just ignored any other lines on how to deal with it. We got Kagome a summoning scroll to help with the GS but we have never had an on screen discussion with him about it. We make huge discoveries about the 4th's jinchuriki seal and don't consider how that could be a solution to seal all the dragons or invest time actually researching the line of seals. We kill one dragon and then stop even discussing if it's possible to kill the rest of them. We get spooked away from trying to seriously convince Oro to help with the project. We make no attempt to contact to Sasori to see if he has any research that might be helpful. We make no series attempt to get access to Pain's sealing array that might give us major insights into our next move. Since there are all the lines that we could follow that would help solve the problem or inform what our next move should be, it feels like putting the cart before the horse to slot in ES as one of our 50s. My personal plan for XP would be to push sealing to 40 and then reassess to see how that changes things. Then depending on how things are looking we could either push up base skills, go all in on ES till we get it and sealing to 50 or, we could just go to ES 39 and see if that changes anything
I also would just like to say that I would be much more on board with making ES one of our 50s if we also committed XP towards getting fundamental scores towards the high 40s. This would give us more survivability but not force us into keeping ES any lower
Edit: Also just personally I want to do cool dangerous ninja stuff. So risk of dying because of low stats a bigger concern for me
Last edited:
Nothing required that this project should be kept secret or required the use of ninjutsu.
We can farm it to some civilian administrator within the clan.
- Location
- USA
"Lord Ritsuo, that apostate Gōketsu missing-nin just ordered a ton of missions from Earth Element ninja to make salt-collecting tanks by the seaside!"
"Hm, I see. Let me know when he's planning on collecting them, so we can swing by and empty the tanks just before him."
And surely there will be no consequences in any other way at all for a Clan Head of Hidden Leaf having a Presence of 15, right?
...what?
Ninja that don't go on missions get social flack.
Before the war mari presumably didn't go on mission, was part of the deal
Haven't seen her get flack for that. Probably her using her socials to counteract
Wonder if Mari could use her socials so team uplift can avoid going on missions without catching flack. To keep 'em alive .
Wonder how useful that would be now. How often are ninja dying now that war ended? Is it more peaceful than pre war conflict?
Before the war mari presumably didn't go on mission, was part of the deal
Haven't seen her get flack for that. Probably her using her socials to counteract
Wonder if Mari could use her socials so team uplift can avoid going on missions without catching flack. To keep 'em alive .
Wonder how useful that would be now. How often are ninja dying now that war ended? Is it more peaceful than pre war conflict?
- Location
- Liverpool
I meant survival, as in the goal, not the particular skill, apologies.
And you're right, PEA is a giant Chakra sink. But, if it is a giant Chakra sink, Akane may be a summoner, and she has lots of Chakra -consuming buffs, I think that convinces me to switch my suggestion for level 50 skill to Chakra, double cost be darned.
(Especially if she's going to be getting into more fights where she IS the heavy due to Jonin in the all-too -soon future.)
- Pronouns
- He/Him
CR 50 is a reasonable choice. Just for the record though, I'm not certain even large reserves makes investing further in PEA worth it in the future.
- Pronouns
- He/Him
TOBIRAMA: Hashirama thinks he's sooooooooo cool building villages out of thin air with the Mokuton. Well, I'LL SHOW HIM!
TOBIRAMA: BEHOLD! The power to shape the very earth with the fine brush of a kami!
LEAF NINJA: Cool, we are going to use this to make hokage faces on that mountain over there.
TOBIRAMA: ...anything else?
LEAF NINJA: No
- Location
- Liverpool
[X] Inferno Vulpix
I've made this argument before, but not nearly as well. Thank you.
The quest ends if the multiverse is eaten, and the QMs have been upfront about timers in the background that do have impactful and bad outcomes. We know it is not only failing, but now cracked as well. Even if all we can do is fix the cracks until we can redo it, that's still huge. And that also needs earthshaping.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I just wish that we would actually treat the GS as an actual problem worth investing plan space and effort towards solving. ES shaping might be the solution to it and I'm not opposed towards leveling it but I just want to start looking up other avenues while we grind XP
Chapter 548: Experimentation
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
The amount of paperwork that had piled up during Hazō's time away was extraordinary, almost as if he'd left leadership of a steadily-growing clan to a sixteen-year-old medic who had never so much as led his own mission. It would have been nice to take a day to unwind after the gruelling as-the-crow-flies journey back (maybe infiltration wasn't the only reason for a ninja to travel by ship after all), but when Hazō saw the date on the top of the first unprocessed form…
"Hazō, you look like a man fresh off a nap on a field of vampire grass."
"I feel like one too, Snowflake," Hazō confessed. "I have already scheduled five meetings for tomorrow, sent two letters of apology, humbly requested to renegotiate a contract—which the Janai Cooperative will almost certainly refuse—and called Jin to my office for disciplinary measures Noburi didn't think were necessary but I do. All of this, of course, with incredible care so I don't make Noburi feel like he failed at the job or undermine his authority in front of anyone or make things more difficult for him next time he needs to act as regent. If I don't get a mug of hot chocolate inside me within the next five minutes, Noburi will have to face the consequences of his actions and inactions alone because I will be dead."
"That would be a problem," Snowflake agreed. "Would you like some cookies with your hot chocolate?"
"Cookies?"
She proffered a tray covered with perfectly circular brown objects that put him in mind of nothing so much as Kagome-sensei's blast discs.
"Where did these come from?" he asked, tired enough that he only afterwards registered that the cookies were on a tray.
"I baked them myself," Snowflake said with an edge of pride. "Baking is domestic hobby experiment no. 8, following the failure of knitting due to self-inflicted dispelling and embroidery due to boredom."
Home-made cookies were, in fact, exactly what Hazō needed to revitalise him. Hazō reached out…
…and his missing-nin danger senses flared in warning.
"Say, Snowflake," he asked carefully, "where did you get the recipe?"
"Kei recalled it from Ami's most recent attempt," Snowflake said, explaining everything. "However, these cookies are intended to surprise the Snow Globe—which is why I am baking them here rather than at the Nara compound with its optimised facilities—and not as a weapon of mass destruction, and so I have taken care to reverse her instructions in every way possible."
Logically, then, Hazō should expect to be filled with unimaginable bliss the second his tongue touched them. That sounded good right now. Also, it wasn't like he could refuse on principle to take a bite of something Snowflake had made.
He picked up one of the perfect discs and bit into it with a resolve that would hopefully cancel out any insult from his initial hesitation.
He had never tasted anything like it before. Nutty, bitter, squelchy yet solid, oddly fishy, sweet and salty, and intensely rich yet somehow also hollow… it was a true feast for the senses, the kind where the paranoid host murdered all his guests at the end.
Snowflake stared at him with keen expectation, waiting for his judgement.
Hazō: Empathy 21 - 3 = 18 vs TN 20 (Fair)
Hazō fails.
Hazō fails.
As far as he knew, this was Snowflake's first cooking attempt of any sort. If he told her the truth—that one taste of these would be enough to get her hired by the Yabai Café—it might be a blow to her eternally fragile self-esteem from which she would never recover.
"Delicious," he forced out. "I can't believe you've never done this before."
Now all that was left was to figure out a way to save the others.
Snowflake relaxed. "That is exceedingly reassuring. To me, they tasted utterly vile— I was offering them to you for their nutritional value, given that you had immediate access to hot chocolate to overwrite the flavour. However, if it is my sense of taste that is the aberration…"
Hazō weighed several factors in the balance, including his long-term credibility and the Nara Clan's short-term survival.
"Sorry," he said awkwardly. "They're actually terrible. What did you put in them?"
"Kokuto, bark flour, gull eggs, and pig milk. I did not deviate from the standard array of cookie ingredients in any way, and yet…"
Snowflake sighed.
"Also, Hazō, I am disappointed in you for nearly sabotaging a vital experiment with dishonesty. You of all people should be aware that I am not only accepting of criticism, but expect it as the default response to my activities."
"Sorry," Hazō said again.
He cast around for a way to change the subject.
"So did your first Gōketsu-style adventure live up to your expectations? I know our plans more or less got ruined by the intelligence controlling the caverns—Mild Peril my foot—but in a way that's representative as well. I direct you to the Cold Stone Killers incident."
Snowflake nodded as she tipped the remaining cookies into a reinforced storage box, closed it securely, and put it in a storage seal (to Hazō's alarm). She looked down at the granite floor, her gaze slowly tracing its imperfections.
"You were all in mortal danger," she said quietly, "and I was completely unable to protect you. I could not fulfil my purpose of standing between danger and my loved ones. Neither my training nor my combat skills applied. You seized survival with your own strength, myself a mere passenger, and had you fallen after expending it to its limits, I would not even have known my fate, much less chosen how to face it. It was a reminder of the degree to which I am unreal next to any of you, and that is an experience I doubt any Gōketsu adventure has previously featured."
Silently, Hazō tried to take this in. He didn't move to make himself hot chocolate.
Something about Snowflake really did look ephemeral in that moment, like the slightest wind might blow her away. It made Hazō want to reach out and hold her in place, but of course he couldn't.
Hazō had felt helpless countless times throughout his life. His mind flashed to the killbox, the crystallised expression of being forced to wait while somebody else decided your fate. He'd never been absent for his near-death, though. It had always come at the hands of an overpowered chakra beast, or a furious S-ranker, or an enemy ninja in exactly the wrong place at exactly the wrong time… Always something he could fight, even if in vain, or something he could face with dignity. Though it didn't exactly apply to him, Mist religion taught that those who repented on their deathbed would be spared the traitor's afterlife, so long as they expressed their repentance by offering up their fellow traitors' names and active plans, and doubtless there were other religions with similar provisions.
What was it like to know in advance that when you died, it would have nothing to do with you, as if some kami rolled the dice and took you off the board when it wasn't your turn? Many people, Hazō thought, would actually welcome such a death. Dying in the shinobi world tended to be violent, painful, and filled with the despair of a mission failed or loved ones unwillingly abandoned. Nobody died with their dreams fulfilled. Compared to all of that, maybe it would be better to just… disappear.
But not for Snowflake, and not for him. Hazō had every intention of defying death to the final moment. Hazō had every intention of defying it beyond. Even without that, after everything Hazō had survived against all the odds, every reprieve he had won and yes, every time he'd clung on long enough to be saved by someone else, if there was one thing he refused to be killed by, it was giving up hope.
Snowflake did not have that option. Whether Snowflake was present for one of Kei's battles at all was determined by decisions about chakra efficiency and by events earlier in the day. If she was present, then in the ideal scenario she would disappear before anyone else, taking a hit that would otherwise go to flesh and blood.
Hazō had no idea what it was like to see the world from that perspective. He couldn't. He had no consolation to offer that wouldn't come from the bizarre yet undeniable heights of mortality privilege.
"I'm sorry," Hazō said.
"On the contrary," Snowflake said. "You sought to fulfil my wish. It is not your fault that I did not know what I was wishing for.
"If it is of any help," she added as if she was supposed to be the one consoling him, "I did enjoy the preceding parts. For all the complexities of my existence, there is satisfaction in protecting and supporting you in a way even Kei cannot. Nor do I regret accumulating new experiences unlike any I have known so far, and in all probability unlike any ever experienced by a human being before."
Hazō noted that in Snowflake's mind, Orochimaru didn't seem to qualify as a human being. Fair enough.
Now he thought of it, this wasn't the first time she'd consoled him when she was herself in need. He'd been in no state of mind to remember to thank her that time, never mind to consider her own pain—he'd been the one to give the order, sure, but in Snowflake's mind, she and Kei were the reason there'd been an order to give.
"Speaking of new experiences," he said with an attempt at levity which he didn't feel he pulled off, "I wanted to thank you for putting your hand on my shoulder after the execution on the skytower. I know it must've meant reaching outside your comfort zone, but you did it for me, and it was comfort exactly when I needed it. Without you and Kei, I might have been trapped in that spiral of self-loathing for a lot longer."
"I… I have no idea what you are referring to," Snowflake stammered.
Hazō just smiled.
After a few seconds of looking anywhere but at Hazō, Snowflake's shoulders slumped.
"Even I am aware of how unconvincing that was. Enjoy my excruciating embarrassment while you can, Hazō."
Fortunately for Snowflake, Hazō was the very soul of mercy, and besides, no matter how cute she was when she squirmed, it was bad form to tease somebody when you were in the middle of thanking them for something meaningful.
"You know," he said instead, "I seem to remember you planning some kind of experiment back when we were in Neck that you needed my help for. Are you ready to tell me what it was now? You know I'll help however I can."
He'd expected this to lead to less squirming, not more.
Finally, Snowflake took a deep breath and straightened up.
"Very well, Hazō. But are you certain? There is an acceptable but nevertheless noteworthy risk of grievous bodily harm, and the resulting data will be of significant value to Kei and myself, but not at all to you."
"How much risk of grievous bodily harm?" Hazō asked warily.
Snowflake walked over to the counter, outside Hazō's reach, and put down the emergency self-defence pouch without which no ninja ever left their home. Hazō was aware that they were well past that stage, but the unthinking gesture of trust was pleasant nonetheless.
"Less now," she said. "If you wish to reduce it further, then please hold still, arms down by your sides."
"Snowflake, what kind of experiment is this?"
"Do not make me say it," Snowflake said. "Also, it is optional but preferable that you close your eyes."
Hazō owed Snowflake, he reminded himself. There were things she'd done for him, and things he'd failed to even notice he needed to do for her. Also, Snowflake was not Kei, and her record of attempted Hazō murder… actually, now he thought about it, Snowflake didn't have a record of attempted Hazō murder. Wow.
He closed his eyes.
For some time, nothing happened, or at least nothing Hazō could hear.
Then there were footsteps, slowly moving around, finally stopping directly in front of him.
"Remember… arms down by your sides."
He needed the reminder, because the very next thing he felt were her arms around him. They were tentative at first, closing in jerky, hesitant steps over the course of seconds until they finally overlapped behind his back.
He heard the hiss of an indrawn breath.
Her body pressed against him. The edge of her ribbon brushed against his neck. It was only a light touch, but it was enough for him to freeze completely as a panicked series of "What do I do?"s ran through his mind. He was suddenly, intensely aware that he was being hugged by Snowflake, that he had no idea what to do when being hugged by Snowflake, and that he had no idea what was running through her mind either. Also, there was no way this didn't qualify for a Kei death penalty somehow.
…
She was warm.
Idiot, of course she was warm. She was a shadow clone, not a statue.
Did that mean Kei was warm as well?
Should he be… doing something right now?
No, wait. Arms by sides.
He could feel her shifting slightly as she breathed in and out.
At last, she pulled away sharply.
"Y-You may open your eyes now."
He opened her eyes, seeing her now at the other end of the kitchen, well away from him.
"Thank you for participating in this experiment," Snowflake told him at approximately half again her normal speed. "Eight seconds is the second best result so far. Please expect Kei to conduct her own measurements when she next sees you. I must go and record this immediately. Goodbye, Hazō."
She paused only long enough to grab her pouch.
"Wait, Snowflake! You forgot your cookies!"
After a few seconds to stare after her helplessly, Hazō shook his head and went to make himself some hot chocolate. Nobody in the clan was going to believe what just happened even if he told them.
-o-
Feedback from Mari:
Calling her spy network a spy network would be generous, but she's doing what she can with what she's got, which is a lot more than anybody else could do with what she's got. Her main headache at the moment is some kind of play-based reputational warfare against the Gōketsu, origins unknown but probably with metal threads in their beard. In addition to the kind of play you've seen, there are performances exalting the sacrifices of the various clans in the war, which leave a very obvious and emphatic gap for the Gōketsu, and also notably dwell on the valour of the Condor Summoner who was given a summoning scroll by Leaf so she could go and fight for the village.
Mari reiterates that Atomu would make a terrible diplomat because the clans simply wouldn't respect him. No, nobody would outright refuse to meet with him, because senior ninja know the difference between disrespecting the Gōketsu and insulting the Gōketsu, but it would be free slander for your political opponents, and it would alienate clans like the Akimichi that have yet to make up their mind. Besides, you may know that crippled ninja aren't worthless, but he might well feel differently if his disability leads to the Gōketsu being outcasts. (Also, his experience managing a bunch of homeless civilians and a handful of genin and academy students is not in any way the same as juggling the political interests of a dozen affiliate clans.)
Mari has no problem with Akane or Yuno's candidacies. Akane is in need of something that'll help rebuild her self-esteem, and she's as qualified as anyone in the clan. Yuno lacks leadership experience and has questionable social skills, but she's the clan's second best fighter and an inspiring if intimidating figure on the battlefield. Mari's trying to slowly bring her around so she's more willing to work with her and take lessons, but it's hard to keep momentum going when certain people send her on lengthy away missions at delicate stages in the process. Both have agreed to take the roles, and you may consider the appointments to have gone ahead.
Mari is perplexed by the mention of Fuyuki, whom only Kagome, that expert in clan management, can vouch for and whom nobody else really knows. Mathematical skills are certainly a prerequisite for the treasurer job, but Mari considers them the least important part, since they can be taught and indeed the Gōketsu have a whole institution for teaching them. Trustworthiness and reliability count for far more in her mind, and she thinks you should think carefully before buying an exorbitantly expensive adoption slot for Fuyuki, much less handing him the keys to the Gōketsu vault.
Feedback from Noburi:
Everybody in the clan is prepared to try their hand at learning basic medicine, even Atomu (who can at least learn the traditional medicine components, even if he understands that his dream of using medical ninjutsu is unlikely to ever be more than a dream). This would annoy Asuma by pulling a bunch of ninja off the mission roster, but there's not much he can do about it unless he wants Tsunade kicking down the door to his office.
Noburi will train them if that's what you want, but he doesn't seem excited about it, insofar as it's a full-time job that keeps him away from his personal objectives.
Feedback from Kagome:
Putting medical knowledge in the GED curriculum is possible, and of obvious benefit, but it's not realistic to get anyone to "useful in a clinic" level with it. If Noburi has to develop a full (e.g. L20) traditional medicine course for the Gōketsu ninja, you could use incentives to get people to join that, but otherwise it doesn't seem like money well spent.
Feedback from Atomu:
Atomu would be delighted to be in charge of the salterns if that's what Lord Hazō wants, though you'll have to explain exactly what that entails (since without MEW, he can't make any, and presumably you don't want him running around northern Iron collecting salt from the ones you've got).
Feedback from Hazō:
If today is going into clan management/Snowflake management, you can't also pursue the all-day activity of sealing.
Feedback from Gamabunta:
Noburi (Rapport): 24 + 3 (Invoke "Zone of Friendship") + 3 (Invoke "The Hokage was My New Dad") - 3 dice = 27
Noburi spends a FP to reroll!
Noburi (Rapport): 24 + 3 (Invoke "Zone of Friendship") + 3 (Invoke "The Hokage was My New Dad") + 3 dice = 33
Noburi spends a FP to reroll!
Noburi (Rapport): 24 + 3 (Invoke "Zone of Friendship") + 3 (Invoke "The Hokage was My New Dad") + 3 dice = 33
Begrudgingly, Gamabunta has agreed to send a Toad diplomat to Dog. Noburi had to negotiate quickly to avoid irritating the Toad Boss, meaning the terms of the deal are not very favourable. First, Noburi needs to offer a substantial amount of trade goods to Gamabunta for free as tribute. Second, the Toad "diplomat", an irritating young Toad named Gamakadan that Gamabunta wants to discipline for some unknown crime, can only stay there for 1 month. Third, Noburi is on the hook for personally escorting the toad there and back, through allied Pangolin and enemy Hyena territory (unless Noburi wants to find another route), and it's his skin on the line if Gamakadan gets hurt. (Cannai has already agreed to keep the Toad diplomat with the Pangolin envoy near the border with Hyena.)
-o-
You have received 4 + 1 (Brevity) + 1 (Fun-to-write) = 6 XP. Noburi has spent 3 FP and gained 1 FP for winning a conflict with meaningful consequences.
-o-
What do you do?
Voting closes on
Last edited by a moderator:
Unaligned Player
Agony that desires to meet Extinction
- Location
- Adrift between sanity and madness
- Pronouns
- Shrug
Physical intimacy training? Nice.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
This is literally a giant game changer. So hyped for what this will let us do in the field now that we can have effectively unlimited chakra on missions. (Def realize it isn't actually unlimited but so good still)
Well since Noburi is going on a Journey to the West this def has to be benched for a while
- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
This is kinda terrible terms for only a month. Might be sensible to wait until the Toad is in place to return to Neck
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Def think waiting is the right idea. This also gives us a chance to usable chakdar researched
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!
We're all gonna diiiiiiie (of sugar overdose, because that was so sweet)
We're all gonna diiiiiiie (of sugar overdose, because that was so sweet)
- Pronouns
- She/Her/They/Them
[X] Action Plan: blissfully do not think about the fact that whenever Kei tries to get physically closer to her girlfriends, she'll now be thinking about Hazō whether she wants it or not
Snowflake (hug Hazou), Resolve 62 + tag "Hazou literally volunteered" + tag "eyes closed" + tag "arms by sides" + 6 dice
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
Snowflake (barely) passes!
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
-1FP reroll
Snowflake (barely) passes!