- Location
- Book Fort
- Pronouns
- They/Them
As far as we know, Fu may have gone on a multi-day drunken bender. I suspect that Fun went missing nin, but anything's possible.
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
-
- Tags
- naruto rational rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
- Location
- Liverpool
I do remember this. Hazou was just trying to be helpful and understand how things work/help them work better. But, it is the unfortunate quirk of both reality and MfD that those in authority get to decide what behavior they see and don't like qualifies as anti-authority. Hazou's instructors likely had a less positive take than Hazou did. I know you know this as well, just avoid miscommunication via over-explaination.
- Location
- The state of Paranoia
Having a missing nin come out of the Gōketsu will be really bad for us, reputation-wise. It could also be bad for Leaf if he ends up in the hands of Rock or another village. If he's going to be declared missing nin anyway, the best thing we can do is delegate some people to hunt him down. That should prevent some of the reputation loss at least.
Ideally we would catch him before he leaves the village and 'prove' that he wasn't missing nin, but it sounds like it's too late for that.
Ideally we would catch him before he leaves the village and 'prove' that he wasn't missing nin, but it sounds like it's too late for that.
Isn't this clearly the KEI's fault? Like why would they blame the Goketsu for this unless they already had an agenda
It looks really bad if it means the Goketsu aren't vetting the ninja on their grounds. We might look like a vulnerability to Leaf as a whole if the Goketsu are that compromised. Especially during war.
And it will definitely provide ammo to Hagoromo.
Whether we like it or not, we MUST NOT allow Fu to shyt on our rep any further. We have to nip him in the bud ASAP.
- Location
- Yes.
So break his neck and make it look like he fell over drunk.
Or make it look like Hagoromo/Iwa/someone else did it.
I mean they're all Leaf nin in good standing, should we vet harder than the Hokage? Fu was a member of KEI. Maybe they should vet their members more.
But also like, we don't vet them at all. We just let any Leaf nin live on the estate if they want.
Tua
鸡肉面条汤
- Location
- شوربة الدجاج المعكرونة
More's the pity.
I was hoping Haru and Kuhei would be teaming up with a (yet unnamed) third genin we had somehow slighted to form their own band of merry missing-nin, heading off to sage-knows-where in their MfD spinoff quest.
- Location
- UK
- Pronouns
- He/Him
It's not difficult to cause someone to depart from the clan.
MrRobot
In doubt there's always the Sun!
....the worst it will have on us its to add anther insult to Hag's mean gril repertoire, by implying that Fu is in any way our responsibility is aknowloging that the genin that live in fact ninja of the clan goketsu, this would imply that KEI protection should not apply to them. Nethier our rivals nor KEI want to give us that power, meaning Ami would probably fight aginst such notion.
The only thing that Hazou, lord goketsu, should do is report his disaparence to the tower, notify Ami that kohei going missing probably hurt Kei and its possible that she is blaming herself, and walk away.
The only thing that Hazou, lord goketsu, should do is report his disaparence to the tower, notify Ami that kohei going missing probably hurt Kei and its possible that she is blaming herself, and walk away.
That's an option. Hopefully it doesn't get to that point. I'd also like to vet the guy rather than take Kei's word on his guilt.
It's a grey area that the KEI have been exploiting. They spy on us, some get support from the Goketsu as their landlords, and might be apart of the KEI. I don't even know what obligations we hold them to.
We, the Goketsu, have been indulging the KEI. We also will get the blowback if they have to choose between themselves or us.
Kei didn't do it on purpose, but I really do think KEI are exploiting us because we're an easy mark.
Unfortunately, we have been playing like these ninja are potential clan members, dangling this hope that they all have a chance. It's dream we sold, that most have been generous not to call us out on.
If Ami or Kei or the KEI rips this apart we will lose face. We will look weak. Now, I don't think they'd be willing to screw us like that.
But it's best that we, the Goketsu, sweep this as painlessly and as cleanly as possible under the rug so that the issue isn't poked again.
Chapter 463: Apologizing to Scum
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
"Lord Gōketsu," the Oyabun said, bowing deeply. "How may the Brotherhood serve you today?"
Hazō settled onto his cushion, eyeing the pair of bodyguards who stood behind the Oyabun. Both of them wore forehead protectors and had the bodies of field ninja.
"I have come to apologize, Lord to Lord, for the actions of my clanmember," Hazō said, offering the deepest bow that a ninja Clan Lord would make to a civilian.
Hazō wants to smooth things over with the Oyabun. The plan did not call for spending FP and I doubt that Hazō cares enough to do so. Hazō gets a CM of +2 for 'I came to you personally' while the Oyabun gets a ?? for 'Your guy killed a whole bunch of my people, you became aware of it more than a month ago, and you are only just now getting around to talking to me. Oh, and you called me and mine scum and you don't even recognize that as a problem.'
Hazō, Rapport (effective 21, reduced to 13 by two Severe Consequences): 13 + 2 + 0 (dice) = 15
Oyabun, Presence: ? + ? + 3 (dice): ?
Hazō's social track has been exceeded. He chooses to be Taken Out instead of taking Consequences. As the victor the Oyabun chooses how the conversation ends and what Hazō's final actions are within the bounds of characterization and general sensibility. He chooses for Hazō to leave promptly with a clear understanding of the events as the Oyabun sees them: Hazō was in the wrong and hypocritical, the Oyabun has been gracious, and the Gōketsu have essentially burned their bridges with the Yakuza unless they want to make a truly epic effort to repair them. They'll work with you in the future if and only if they have no other choice and you definitely will not be getting anything beyond the absolutely minimum grudging cooperation. They are unlikely to proactively work against you because they know they can't stand up to a ninja clan, but that's as far as it goes.
Hazō, Rapport (effective 21, reduced to 13 by two Severe Consequences): 13 + 2 + 0 (dice) = 15
Oyabun, Presence: ? + ? + 3 (dice): ?
Hazō's social track has been exceeded. He chooses to be Taken Out instead of taking Consequences. As the victor the Oyabun chooses how the conversation ends and what Hazō's final actions are within the bounds of characterization and general sensibility. He chooses for Hazō to leave promptly with a clear understanding of the events as the Oyabun sees them: Hazō was in the wrong and hypocritical, the Oyabun has been gracious, and the Gōketsu have essentially burned their bridges with the Yakuza unless they want to make a truly epic effort to repair them. They'll work with you in the future if and only if they have no other choice and you definitely will not be getting anything beyond the absolutely minimum grudging cooperation. They are unlikely to proactively work against you because they know they can't stand up to a ninja clan, but that's as far as it goes.
"Oh?" the Oyabun said, gesturing politely towards the tray that sat between them. Its polished bird's-eye maple surface was occupied by a pair of teacups, a bone china pot with steam wisping from the spout, and a small plate of cookies still oozing warmth and spices.
"Thank you," Hazō said, politely taking a cup and a cookie. The Oyabun 'chose' the other cup and a different cookie and did not comment when Hazō automatically waited for him to sample them first. "I sent Haru to apologize to the families of his victims and pay weregild from the clan coffers. I am here to apologize to you as the head of my clan to the head of the Brotherhood. Haru was wrong, his actions were unconscionable, and I humbly apologize. I have utterly failed in my most important duty as a Clan Head: I did not protect the village. I know that I can never make this right but I hope you will offer suggestions on how to try."
The Oyabun eyed him, savoring his tea and shaving bits off the cookie between his three age-yellowed front teeth. His wrinkled-apple face was unreadable.
"Your apology for your subordinate's action is, obviously, accepted with all gratitude," he said at last. "I am deeply honored that the head of a Great Clan would apologize to scum such as myself and my brethren."
"...Excuse me?"
The Oyabun's wispy eyebrows rose. "We are the scum of the earth, are we not? Predators of the very sort that the law exists to protect honest men and women from? The ones that Lord Haru killed undoubtedly committed many robberies, murders, acts of blackmail and extortion, and other crimes too awful for you to discuss in the presence of women or children. Surely they ruined countless lives."
"Um..." These words were sounding uncomfortably familiar.
Silence lingered in the air as the old man waited.
"Lord Oyabun, my words were hastily chosen. I was challenged by surprise, and..." He trailed off. What could he say? 'Yes, I called you vile names and impugned your honor but I did not really mean it'? Or maybe 'It never occurred to me that those words were a problem so I did not prepare a response'?
The Oyabun took another sip from his cup; his voice was light and airy, as though discussing the brightest summer day. "Did you not say that the Hokage, great in wisdom and honored by the ancestors, recognised your clansman's actions to be well within the spirit of the law? It seems indisputable that when Lord Haru callously murdered six of my subordinates he saved far more than six civilian lives."
Nervous prickles danced spider-like across Hazō's scalp. "Lord Oyabun, sir, those words were poorly chosen and unkind. I should not have said them."
"Pish! Think nothing of it!" the Oyabun said, waving the words away with magnanimity. "Indeed, your honesty is truly impressive, Lord Gōketsu. Few have the forthrightness to say the truth of what the Brotherhood is in public while addressing hundreds of Leaf citizens." He shook his head sadly. "Most are far too circumspect in their language throughout their lives. Oh, they make excuses by calling it 'politeness' or 'respect for other citizens', they fritter at so-called nuances such as the challenges of civilian life and the difficult choices one must make, but we all know the truth. If only more people were as outspoken as you, Lord Gōketsu, there would be far fewer polite fictions in this world. The fact that you would come to us and say that your man was wrong to kill my family members, despite that being within the spirit of the law, is a tremendous act of generosity."
"Your family members? But—" He bit the words off too late.
"Why yes," the Oyabun said, polite surprise in his voice. "All who join the Brotherhood are of my family in precisely the way your adopted ninja are of your clan. They may not share blood but they are no less family for it...wouldn't you agree, Lord Gōketsu?"
"Of course. Yes, absolutely."
"I note that you have not eaten your cookie," the Oyabun said, concern in his voice. "Is it not to your liking?"
"Um, no, thank you." Hazō quickly bit into the deliciously warm and gooey cookie and its filling of storybook happy childhoods. Fresh from the oven, although it was always possible that a storage seal had been involved since the Oyabun had ninja on his payroll. "It's delicious."
"I'm so glad. Those I protect spend so much time selling drugs and hurting people that I worry they might forget the subtle art of baking." He sipped his tea and then made a tossing-away gesture with one hand. "Granted, we do also enforce the law and provide for the families of those under our protection, but that hardly makes up for our crimes, now does it? Certainly, many children in Leaf strive to become members of our organization in order to receive the benefits it brings, but our true nature is what it is. Scum, as every Lord of a Great Clan knows.
"Sir...I would like to be able to make amends, even if I can't make it right. I don't know how and perhaps it can't be done, but if you would tell me what to do...?"
"Please, Lord Gōketsu. What could the Brotherhood ask in such conditions? Your apology for the murder of my family has been most gracious and gratefully received. I do hope that we will in future do nothing that would cause other Gōketsu to feel the need to murder more of us but if such lawful murders"—he raised a hand to cut himself off. "Your apology, murders within the spirit of the law. Were they to happen I feel certain that your personal integrity will shine through once more. I thank you again for your great kindness in honoring one so lowly as myself." He bowed all the way to the floor, the movement flawlessly smooth but in no way self-abasing, and then straightened. "With niceties concluded, is there anything else we should discuss? I do apologize, but I feel certain you know the pressures faced by the head of a family—even a family of lowly criminals such as my own."
"Um...no. No, that's all. Thank you, Lord Oyabun, for your time." Hazō bowed, more deeply than he had before, and pulled himself up onto his cane with the grace of a joint-swollen elder. He bowed one last time and left.
XP AWARD: TBD, as I'm not sure how many days @Velorien's update covered.
Brevity XP: TBD
"GM had fun" XP: 0
Vote time! What to do now?
Voting ends on Wednesday, September 8, 2021, at 12pm London time.
Author's Notes: You did this: "Verify if permanent MEW can be produced with granite+dirt on a skytower, starting with 1,000 kg and working up to 10,000 kg." No, it cannot. Also, I'm not sure if we ever defined whether or not the Five Seal Barrier makes something truly invulnerable or if it does have limits and, if so, whether 10 tons is within those limits. @Velorien is away right now but we'll get back to you on whether the skytower (which, fortunately, was at an altitude of 3' in order to make it easy to pile the dirt on) collapsed.
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
I remember a previous statement of partial ambiguity, something in the direction of "Nobody has ever seen or heard of a 5-Seal Barrier collapsing, and some have tried very hard to break it, but you don't know if that means there's no upper limit or if it's merely above what anyone has yet tried" but I don't have a reference on hand.
Oh god
No dental care?
Surprised hazou would be nervous
Ah Oyabun trying to convert hazou
Hmm. Hazou almost sounds genuine. Which would be quite the change from his earlier view of yakuza scum
Oyabun feels disrespectful to me. Mood swing after the conversion attempt
How unexpected. This is not sarcasm
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- Location
- Canada
After ten thousand posts, I have returned! Time for my annual contribution to the thread, and my apologies for any out-of-date ideas, as I didn't read all 2,000 pages of discussion.
Has anyone done calculations for the amount of rock we'd need to drop if we want to smash Rock?
According to the informational posts I just read, a storage seal can contain 100 kg of anything (I assume granite), so if we carried 1000 storage seals into the sky that'd be 100,000 kg, scaling to an arbitrarily large amount. Would it have the same effect if those were dropped all at once but as separate blocks, or would we need to spend time on a skytower with the stoneshaping jutsu to connect it all together for a sufficiently large boom?
The plan may be less viable if we have to spend time up there, as I think it's safe to assume Rock knows how to make skywalkers at this point, or at least thinks it can counter them, as it's been a while since they learned about them.
Has anyone done calculations for the amount of rock we'd need to drop if we want to smash Rock?
According to the informational posts I just read, a storage seal can contain 100 kg of anything (I assume granite), so if we carried 1000 storage seals into the sky that'd be 100,000 kg, scaling to an arbitrarily large amount. Would it have the same effect if those were dropped all at once but as separate blocks, or would we need to spend time on a skytower with the stoneshaping jutsu to connect it all together for a sufficiently large boom?
The plan may be less viable if we have to spend time up there, as I think it's safe to assume Rock knows how to make skywalkers at this point, or at least thinks it can counter them, as it's been a while since they learned about them.
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MrRobot
In doubt there's always the Sun!
This would be true to the extent of AFKEI but he gone missing nin, this means no one not his clan, family, or team are
We should also notify KEI and the Goketsu residents of the Goketsu position on AFKEI nin and how breaking with KEI impacts their standing with the goketsu.
(The AFKEI are not outright expled but it would be required that the AFKEI in question is in good standing with the way of the goketsu and the will of fire… if sucesfully proven the AFKEI nin can still be elegible to the goketsu protection)
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
The main problem is that Rock is largely underground, and thus we'd need to not only pack enough punch to break buildings but enough to break the rocky protection above the buildings.
But moreover, broken buildings don't win wars. If we were still going for the extermination campaign it would be a necessary part of the strategy, but as things stand the only thing that really matters is killing their ninja, and even in ideal conditions I don't think a rain of heavy skytower rocks would kill many ninjas, let alone high-level ones that make the most difference on the battlefield.
Thanks for returning with your idea, though! It's this kind of destructively innovative mindset that makes this quest shine.
Chapter 464: The Sun's Return
- Location
- USA
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Chapter 464: The Sun's Return
"Hello! Anyone home? We're back!"
Hazō had been at his desk forcing himself to defeat packs of enemies no less destructive for being paper. At the sound of that voice he was on his feet and into the hall so fast his knee screamed at the abuse. He ignored it, looping his cane around his neck so he could brachiate along the ceiling via chakra adhesion. His legs were wasted and brittle but he'd been exercising as best he could while his body betrayed him and he was carrying more upper-body muscle than he ever had before; swinging was far faster than hobbling.
"Akane!" he shouted, throwing himself over the bannister and hot-dropping to the floor below. It involved keeping one hand on the wall and stuttering adhesion on and off so that you slid down before a hostile force could react to your presence. It was normally done with gloves because doing it like this meant sanding your palm and fingertips bloody on the rough granite of the house, but he didn't give the slightest damn. He didn't even care when his ankle rolled under him and he had to lurch drunkenly to keep his feet. He blasted chakra out of his soles to speed his steps and slammed into Akane so hard she had to step back and brace herself. She laughed and folded her arms around him in a hug that was supportive in both senses. The cane, still looped around his neck, was mashed between them and poking uncomfortably against his damaged collarbone. He didn't care.
"I missed you, honey," he whispered into her ear, crushing her against himself.
"Mmm," she purred. "Missed you too."
He crushed her one last time and then eased back, taking the cane down so he could balance on it.
"You're overdue," he said, trying hard not to sound as though he were scolding her. "We expected you back three days ago."
"I know, and I'm sorry." She cupped a hand to his cheek and smiled. "I'm sorry I worried you. Bunji and Akito—that's the Inuzuka we were teamed with—thought they had found a ninja trail but it turned out to be nothing. Just a nest of thwelt."
Hazō winced. Thwelt were disturbing and he still occasionally had nightmares about them. Capable of mimicking the odors, sounds, and approximate appearance of other creatures, they would infiltrate a group before exploding into the bundle of thorned tentacles that was their true form. The thorns latched on and tore at tendons and muscles, laming one or more of the prey, and then the thwelt would gather to slowly feed.
"You're okay?" he said, pushing her to arm's length so he could look her over for injuries; there were none. "What about Yuno?"
"Everyone is fine. Bunji got a bad case of marsh rot on his leg but we dealt with it. He won't have more than a few scars. Yuno and I got out clean. She went to find Noburi."
He took her wrist and hobbled towards the kitchen, towing her along. "We need to get you some food. You must be starved. And hot chocolate. I've been keeping a pot of your favorite in a storage seal. Ginger and hot pepper juice. Then—"
She laughed and pulled him to a halt so she could cup his head with both hands and press a kiss to his lips. "I'm fine, Hazō. Truly. We got back an hour ago. I've already reported to the Hokage, gotten my pay, and everything."
He eyed her uncertainly. "About Haru—"
She put a finger on his lips. "It's fine," she said again. "Let's not worry about it today, okay? Can we be just the two of us, or do you have to run off?" For the first time she noticed the blood stain on her sleeve where he had been gripping her. She seized his hand and turned it over. "Hazō, what did you do?!"
"It's just a scrape," he said guiltily, pulling himself from her grip so he could hide the injury. "I'll put a bandage on it, it'll be healed up by tomorrow."
She eyed him with narrowed and worry-grumpy eyes. "Okay, that's it," she said. "Come sit down while I fix you up."
Hazō suffered himself to be led to the living room and settled in one of the armchairs around the smoke-scented firewell. She pulled a field medical kit out of one of her scrolls and proceeded to cleanse the wound with rice alcohol made of sting, and gentle dabs from a clean cloth that stung even more.
"Any problems?" he asked, in part from interest and in part to distract himself.
She shook her head while bending close to study the scrape. "No, just basic patrol work. Bunji was very amused by the minicabins and asked about getting one for himself. I said I didn't think it was an issue but I'd need to check with you before giving it away. The cabins aren't a clan secret, right?"
"Of course not! Besides, anyone could build one for themselves once they'd seen it."
"Maybe, but he'd rather buy one then do all the work of figuring out how to build it so that it isn't damaged by storage stress and how to make the sliding panels and such. If you're okay with it I'll sell him mine and draw another from stores?"
"You can just give—yes, actually, selling it to him sounds smart. Charge whatever you think is fair." He stroked one hand down her arm with a smile. She truly was the best of them. "So, nothing exciting then?"
"Nope. Just a boring old field patrol—lots of creatures, lots of woods, no sign of any humans. Which is unfortunate, since it means we didn't find the missing patrols."
"Not surprising." The woods were huge and it was more surprising if you could find a couple of bodies lying dead in the leaf litter than if you couldn't.
She put the alcohol away and carefully spread some numbweed paste over the scrape before wrapping his hand in a soft cloth. She tied the ends off and bent forward to kiss his bandaged palm. "There. All better."
He smiled and booped her on the nose with one partially-encased finger, making her laugh in startlement. "Yes. Now that you're home, things are better."
He tugged her down off the arm of the chair and into his lap. She settled into him with a contented sigh, her back against his chest and head on his shoulder, winding her fingers into his when he looped them around her waist. They sat together in silence as his mind went slowly quiet.
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- Location
- The state of Paranoia
I think we should keep a careful eye on our civilians and make sure the yakuza don't go back to assaulting them like before Haru did his thing. It's fine for the yakuza to not work with us or get hurt by us, but if they go back to hurting our people we'll have to do something about it.
- Location
- Canada
Maybe not the top tiers, but if this is similar to a small nuke (I repeat that I haven't seen or done the calculations, I could be way off), it would still take out a lot of genin, some jounin, and damage their administration. I think it would be comparable to the damage collapsing the important buildings in Leaf did, and Asuma would probably be happy about the destructiveness.
Unaligned Player
Agony that desires to meet Extinction
- Location
- Adrift between sanity and madness
- Pronouns
- Shrug
Release. Release! RELEASE!
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