Omake: Bugging the Debugger
Keiko looked up through the smoke of Pandaa returning home as Hazou came in from watch duty and and plopped down on the floor of the cave.
"I need your advice, Keiko." He was chewing his lip in the exact same way he always did when he asked for help with one of his schemes - he claimed it was Kurosawa Lip Chew Number 12 and translated to 'I deeply respect your opinion on a topic I am grappling with and humbly ask your assistance'. She appreciated the implied compliment, even if she didn't think it was necessarily warranted.
"Another plan?" She began to clear her mind in preparation for reaching out to the Frozen Skein.
"Yes. I think I have the broad overview worked out, but some of the details are... fiddly." She nodded, beginning to stare into the middle distance, waiting while he collected his thoughts. "I'm trying to figure out how to help you and Akane get along better."
She stopped nodding, unsure if she had heard rightly, and focused back on Hazou as he leaned forward earnestly from his seat across the cave.
He continued, apparently oblivious to her confusion. "My thought was to ask you how you would expect Akane to react to us coming into conflict with ninja from Hidden Leaf. If you responded dismissively, I would bring up a conversation she and I had where she acted much more mature than her typical behavior would suggest and expressed an understanding of the necessities of life as a missing nin. If you responded positively, I would... okay, this might be easier if I draw it out."
Keiko sat there dumbfounded as Hazou pulled out a piece of paper and began inscribing
a branching flowchart onto it.
'Kami preserve us,' she thought to herself,
'he's evolved from lists to charts. At this rate we're all doomed.'
"...so that's the general idea," concluded Hazou. "Do you see any places where this might collapse and burn?"
"Well for one, DISPEL!" She looked around. Nothing had changed. Her head fell into her hands. "You're asking me to contribute to a plan for
convincing myself of something."
"That's true, but I figured it was worthwhile because one: you're the best planner in the group and two: we can just work together to figure out how to make the discussion so persuasive that you'll still be convinced even after taking the fact that you helped write it into account."
At this point she started on some of the more advanced breathing exercises from the academy, the ones meant for keeping calm under combat conditions. The whole situation was just so...
so Hazou. There was no other word for it. Trying to forestall any further exposition on the insane logic behind the whole situation, she asked, "Why do you even want to do this? To stick your nose in my and Akane's friendship?"
Hazou's eyes lit up. "You consider her a friend?" He started to rise. "Oh boy is that a relief. I guess I don't have to-"
"No! That's not what I... I mean, of course I'd prefer...
you didn't answer the question!" she barked, glaring.
Blink. Blink blink. "Well, it's important for teammates to be able to support each other." Hazou sat back down slowly.
"Obviously."
"You two... you're fire and ice. You can cover each other's mental blind spots. You can pull her back from making foolishly optimistic decisions - don't give me that look, she
is naive sometimes, I'm not that much of a doting sensei."
Keiko schooled her face quickly. She had been expecting Hazou to side pretty much entirely on any points of disagreement between the girl and herself.
"I'd like to think she can pull
you back from... foolishly pessimistic decisions," Hazou continued, looking troubled for a moment. "But that can't happen unless you
communicate with each other and
respect each other. I know she respects you, we all do, or I'd be asking you to help me with a plan for talking with her about this too. On top of that, it's unpleasant to see friction between two people who are as important to me as you two."
Reaching over to pick up his writing supplies, he added, "In any case, if you don't feel like there's anything to add to the plan I guess I'll go run it by Mari-sensei before I attempt it. See you in a bit!"
______________
*Several minutes later...*
She was still trying to puzzle out the exact meaning of what had just transpired when Hazou poked his head back into the cave. "Keiko," he began, "suppose an assignment we took had a high likelihood to run into opposition from Hidden Leaf ninja..."
The sound of her palm connecting with her forehead nearly made Kagome blow up the tree he was hiding in for sentry duty.
