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Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest

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eaglejarl said:
Pet peeve: There's no such thing as blood channels. Those are called fullers, and they're there for the same reason that construction girders are in the shape of an I instead of simple rectangles: It lightens the girder/sword without decreasing its strength below the required threshold.
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From what I understand there are blood channels on certain handles though, so you don't lose grip. The USMC knife for example (unless this also technically not true?)
 
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eaglejarl said:
Pet peeve: There's no such thing as blood channels. Those are called fullers, and they're there for the same reason that construction girders are in the shape of an I instead of simple rectangles: It lightens the girder/sword without decreasing its strength below the required threshold.
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Click to shrink...

Yuno consistently refers to 'special grooves for the blood' - definitely a difference between channels and grooves, although I suspect that every channel (in the context of weaponry) is a groove.

Is Yuno misinformed about why her weapon is constructed the way it is?
 
Shrooms said:
From what I understand there are blood channels on certain handles though, so you don't lose grip. The USMC knife for example (unless this also technically not true?)
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Click to shrink...
I've never heard of such a thing but I won't conclusively state that it doesn't exist.

FaintlySorcerous said:
Yuno consistently refers to 'special grooves for the blood' - definitely a difference between channels and grooves, although I suspect that every channel (in the context of weaponry) is a groove.

Is Yuno misinformed about why her weapon is constructed the way it is?
Click to expand...
Click to shrink...

Could be that she was misinformed by the person who gave her Satsuko, or it could be that she wasn't informed at all and made up a reason for herself, or there could be a different explanation. Who knows?
 
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Chapter 402: Lord Jashin's Currency
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    • "What is this?" Hazō demanded, a cold horror creeping through his body.

    "Tonight's game board," Hidan explained casually, gesturing at the crowd of tied-up villagers. Dozens upon dozens of people stared at Hazō fearfully, from the elderly to tiny children. Not that they could see much: clearly, they'd been trapped like this for hours, as there were no lights on in the entire village.

    "Ya showed me last time that ya ain't a total milquetoast. Now we see if ya have Lord Jashin's own luck, or if ya just another waste-of-space cultist, but without even the cultist part."

    "P-Please, honourable n-ninja," a middle-aged woman wearing only a thin undershirt whimpered.

    Hidan ignored the plea. "Hey, what's this village called, anyway?"

    "B-B-Bakuchioka, honourable ninja. P-Please, at least spare the—"

    "There we go," Hidan said lightly. "Now, ya know Lord Jashin accepts only one currency. Tonight we'll be gamblin' with the blood of these fine residents of Bababakuchioka.

    "Weird name," he added with approval.

    "You're serious, aren't you?" Hazō asked in less disbelief than he'd have liked.

    "As a heart attack. Not that I can get those. Give 'em, on occasion. It's a borin' way to go, but variety's the spice of life."

    Hidan gestured in the direction of the villagers with his scythe, prompting a round of shivers.

    "Ya win, ya pick a civilian to save. I win, I pick a civilian to kill. We keep goin' till we're out of civilians or I get bored."

    "I-I beg you, honourable—"

    "Ah, shaddup," Hidan said. "All right, new rule. Anyone who annoys me dies on the spot. Ya ready to get started, kid?"

    Hazō did a quick head count. Two hundred civilians, maybe a little under. Hidan must have visited this village earlier today, dragged them out of their homes, tied them up with the village's own ropes, and then left them to wait, with no indication of whether they'd live out the day. They still didn't have one.

    Old men suppressed groans as they sat on the cold, damp earth. Mothers gazed at their children, silently begging them not to make a noise. Tough young men—civilian farmers put muscle on fast, or became mouths the village couldn't afford to feed—trembled in frustration at their own powerlessness. There were shadows on the ground further back that could have been bodies of civilians who'd tried to run or resist. And this… this was a game?

    Tonight put so much into perspective. Hidan had depopulated an entire island, and the other Akatsuki had at best not bothered to rein him in. These were the people Hazō wanted to negotiate with, to bring to Leaf's side in the name of Uplift.

    No, no time for reflection. Gōketsu Hazō had lives to save, by any means necessary. He gathered his strength.

    "This is a waste of time, Hidan," he said dismissively. "What makes you think these lives are worth anything to me as playing chips? If you want a real game, forget these worthless peons and come with me. I'll show you something worth playing for."

    He just hoped he could think of something before Hidan saw through the bluff.

    "Tch," Hidan said. "All that time standin' here like an idiot while they tied each other up, wasted. Well, some ya win, some ya lose. Lemme just sacrifice them real quick and we can go see what you have in mind." He hefted his scythe.

    Damn. Damn damn damn.

    "Wait. We'll play by your rules."

    Hidan smirked. "Thought so. I spent years workin' with the boss, kid. I've seen every kind of bleedin' heart there is."

    He slammed a lantern down on a nearby table, lit it, then pulled a handful of dice out from some unseen recess in his robe. They were white with red dots, with a Jashin symbol on what would have been the "six" face. Hazō had a horrible feeling that Hidan had made them himself.

    "Here." He tossed the dice to Hazō. "As the host, I'm lettin' ya pick the first game."

    Hazō frowned as he tossed the dice up and down in his palm experimentally. Two hundred pairs of eyes watched him alertly, Hidan's included.

    Hazō ran a casino for ninja.

    "These wouldn't happen to be loaded, would they?" he asked to confirm what he already knew.

    Hidan chuckled. "Lord Jashin helps those who help themselves."

    He threw Hazō another set of white dice.

    "These are the real thing. Used to belong to a hunter-nin who had the balls to up and challenge me to my face. Without backup, even. He gave me a straight-up fight, so it's only fair that I only use 'em for straight-up fights."

    Dice. Dice. What could Hazō do to give himself the biggest advantage?

    "Chinchiro," he said after a few seconds' thought. "No bank."

    The more dice he rolled at a time, the quicker he could get used to their feel. There were three dice in Chinchiro, plenty of rerolls, and a trump score he could go for as soon as his fingers were ready.

    Hidan gave an unreadable grin. "You're on."

    Rules: Roll three dice. 1-2-3 is an instant loss. A pair and a singleton makes that singleton a "point". A "trip", three of the same, beats any point. Higher numbers beat lower numbers, and 4-5-6 trumps everything. Reroll until each player has one of the above. Reroll ties.

    173 villagers remain.

    Round 1
    Hazō: 2 3 3
    Hidan: 1 4 5 / 4 5 6
    Hazō rolls a 2-point. Hidan rolls 4-5-6. Hidan wins.
    1 villager is dead. 172 prisoners remain.

    Hidan didn't even bother to get up after the roll. He just flicked his wrist, and a woman's head fell to the ground. Her body slumped sideways, onto the lap of the person next to her, who miraculously suppressed a scream.

    The scythe swept back into Hidan's hand, guided by some kind of rope built into his sleeve.

    Round 2
    Hazō: 5 5 4
    Hidan: 4 6 6
    Hazō rolls a 4-point. Hidan rolls a 4-point. Tie.
    Hazō: 2 5 5
    Hidan: 3 5 6 / 1 4 6 / 2 3 6 / 4 4 5
    Hazō rolls a 2-point. Hidan rolls a 5-point. Hidan wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 171 prisoners remain.

    Round 3
    Hazō: 6 1 1
    Hidan: 3 5 6 / 1 2 6 / 1 3 5 / 4 4 6
    Hazō rolls a 6-point. Hidan rolls a 6-point. Tie.
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 5 5
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 1-point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 1 villager is safe. 170 prisoners remain.

    Round 4
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 4 6 / 2 2 4
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 4-point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 2 villagers are safe. 169 prisoners remain.

    Round 5
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 2 3
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls 1-2-3. Hidan loses automatically. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 3 villagers are safe. 168 prisoners remain.

    Round 6
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 1 4
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 4 point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 4 villagers are safe. 167 prisoners remain.

    Round 7
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 2 6 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 2 point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 5 villagers are safe. 166 prisoners remain.


    Round 8
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 4 5 / 2 3 4 / 1 5 5
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 1-point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 6 villagers are safe. 165 prisoners remain.

    Round 9
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 4 5 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls 4-5-6. Tie.
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 4 6 / 2 5 6 / 2 2 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 6-point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 7 villagers are safe. 164 prisoners remain.

    Round 10
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 2 3
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls 1-2-3. Hidan loses automatically. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 8 villagers are safe. 163 prisoners remain.

    Round 11
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 5 6 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 5 point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 9 villagers are safe. 162 prisoners remain.

    Round 12
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 5 6 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 5 point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 10 villagers are safe. 161 prisoners remain.

    Round 13
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 6 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 1 point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 11 villagers are safe. 160 prisoners remain.

    Round 14
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 2 4 5 / 1 5 5
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 1-point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 12 villagers are safe. 159 prisoners remain.

    Round 15
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 3 6 / 2 4 6 / 1 4 6 / 1 2 3
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls 1-2-3. Hidan loses automatically. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 13 villagers are safe. 158 prisoners remain.

    Round 16
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 2 6 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 2 point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 14 villagers are safe. 157 prisoners remain.

    Round 17
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 2 3 4 / 4 4 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 6-point. Hazō wins.
    2 villagers are dead. 15 villagers are safe. 156 prisoners remain.

    A young man cheers for Hazō's extraordinary success. Is he a kami come to save them from the bloodthirsty monster?

    Hidan kills him. It isn't quick.

    Silence.

    Round 18
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 3 4 / 2 3 5 / 2 6 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 2-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 16 villagers are safe. 154 prisoners remain.

    Round 19
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 3 4 4
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 3 point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 17 villagers are safe. 153 prisoners remain.

    Round 20
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 2 6 / 2 3 3
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 2-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 18 villagers are safe. 152 prisoners remain.

    Round 21
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 2 4 5 / 1 4 6 / 3 5 5
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 3-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 19 villagers are safe. 151 prisoners remain.

    Round 22
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 4 5 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls 4-5-6. Tie.
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 2 5 / 1 2 4 / 2 2 5
    3 villagers are dead. 20 villagers are safe. 150 prisoners remain.

    Round 23
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 4 5 / 2 4 6 / 1 2 5 / 1 1 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 6-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 21 villagers are safe. 149 prisoners remain.

    Round 24
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 5 5 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 6-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 22 villagers are safe. 148 prisoners remain.

    Round 25
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 3 4 6 / 1 3 6 / 3 4 4
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 3-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 23 villagers are safe. 147 prisoners remain.

    Round 26
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 5 6 / 4 5 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls 4-5-6. Tie.
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 3 4 5 / 2 2 4
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 4-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 24 villagers are safe. 146 prisoners remain.

    Round 27
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 3 4 6 / 3 4 5 / 3 4 6 / 5 5 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 6-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 25 villagers are safe. 145 prisoners remain.

    Round 28
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 2 3 6 / 1 2 5 / 2 2 4
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 4-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 26 villagers are safe. 144 prisoners remain.

    Round 29
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 2 2 4
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 4-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 27 villagers are safe. 143 prisoners remain.

    Round 30
    Hazō: 4 5 6
    Hidan: 1 6 6
    Hazō rolls 4-5-6. Hidan rolls a 1-point. Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 28 villagers are safe. 142 prisoners remain.

    Hazō's hands were beginning to get tired when Hidan sat back and whistled. "Well, chop me up and throw me in a stew if that ain't the luckiest run of Chinchiro I've seen since I was dumb enough to play with Itachi."

    "Is this proof enough for you?" Hazō asked.

    "Lord Jashin helps those who help themselves," Hidan repeated. "But he doesn't like bein' cheated of his sacrifices either. It's my turn to pick, and we're going with Chō-Han."

    A game of pure luck. Statistically, seventy people dead if Hazō and Hidan played to the end.

    "Oi, which one of you is the village elder?" Hidan demanded.

    No one came forth. However, Hazō and Hidan were both ninja, and even in the dark they could spot a few heads reflexively turning to look in the same direction.

    Hidan sighed. "Did I mention how anyone who tries my patience gets to skip to the head of the queue?" He strode over and lifted the old man (by village civilian standards, so at least forty) by the collar with one hand, then threw him at Hazō's feet. "What d'ya reckon, kid, shall I teach this one what happens to people who don't listen to Lord Jashin's chosen?"

    "You picked the elder for a reason, didn't you?" Hazō said quickly. "If you kill him, you'll have to waste time while they choose a successor for you."

    "Fair," Hidan said. "You know how to play Chō-Han, old man?"

    "I-I've heard of it, honourable n-ninja."

    "Good enough." In a single sweeping movement, Hidan cut the elder's ropes. The man flinched but, to his credit, sensibly stayed still.

    Hidan, who really had come prepared, fished a cup out of a pouch. "Hand him a couple of dice, kid."

    Hazō gently handed the elder the dice. The man shuddered, obviously coming to the same conclusion as Hazō regarding their origin. He gave a humble please-don't-kill-me bow of thanks.

    "All right," Hidan said with a grin. "Let's get this show on the road."

    -o-​

    Rules: the dealer shakes the dice in a cup. Players bet blindly on whether they will come out even (Chō) or odd (Han).

    Round 31
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 2 6 = Chō
    Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 29 villagers are safe. 141 prisoners remain.

    Round 32
    Hidan: Chō
    Hazō: Han
    Dice: 1 4 = Han
    Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 30 villagers are safe. 140 prisoners remain.

    Round 33
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 3 3 = Chō
    Hazō wins.
    3 villagers are dead. 31 villagers are safe. 139 prisoners remain.

    Round 34
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 1 2 = Han
    Hidan wins.
    Hidan kills the elder.
    4 villagers are dead. 31 villagers are safe. 138 prisoners remain.

    "Looks like we're gonna need a new dealer," Hidan said casually as he threw the elder's body in a random direction, sending blood spraying everywhere.

    He pointed an index finger at the crowd of villagers, counting one by one.

    "Red-eye, sharky, toy boy, scrooge, who's gonna be my latest stooge?"

    His finger ended up pointing at a girl younger than Hazō. "You'll do." She paled, but managed to stop herself before she made a sound.

    Something—anger? Horror? Protective instinct?—flared inside Hazō.

    "Hold it!" He shouted. "Who said you get to pick? If I win next round, I might want to save somebody else."

    He could feel a hundred cold stares on his skin. They could forgive him—he hoped—when him choosing somebody meant passing over somebody else, but he couldn't deny that there was something monstrous about refusing to save a child. Even though in reality, he was just making sure Hidan's next win wouldn't be an automatic death sentence for her.

    His gaze swept over the crowd, waiting, seeking, until finally a bald man with an abandoned crutch lying next to his feet met his eyes, and gave him a grim nod.

    "You can stay there," Hazō said to the girl. "I want that one." And maybe, by the time her turn came round, they'd have moved on to a game with better than fifty-fifty odds.

    "Six and two threes to me," Hidan said. "This old-timer probably has more blood in him anyway."

    "What's your name?" Hazō asked the man quietly as he held still for his ropes to be cut off. The others were simply people he was failing to save, but this was a man he was almost certainly condemning to death.

    "Tetsu Yūki, honourable ninja.

    "Please don't let the other honourable ninja have Kanako," he said in a lower voice. "She's a sweet girl who never hurt a fly."

    Hazō nodded.

    "That's enough of that," Hidan said. "Lord Jashin won't be happy if the test's not done by daybreak."

    He passed Tetsu the dice, the 1 and 2 faces still stained with the elder's blood. "Let's go."

    -o-​

    Round 35
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 5 6 = Han
    Hidan kills Tetsu.
    5 villagers are dead. 31 villagers are safe. 137 prisoners remain.

    In acknowledgement of Tetsu's courage, Hidan agrees not to kill the dealers.

    Round 36
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 1 2 = Han
    6 villagers are dead. 31 villagers are safe. 136 prisoners remain.

    Round 37
    Hazō: Han
    Hidan: Chō
    Dice: 3 5 = Chō
    Hazō saves Kanako.
    7 villagers are dead. 31 villagers are safe. 135 prisoners remain.

    Round 38
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 1 3 = Chō
    7 villagers are dead. 32 villagers are safe. 134 prisoners remain.

    Round 39
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 3 4 = Han
    8 villagers are dead. 32 villagers are safe. 133 prisoners remain.

    Round 40
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 3 5 = Chō
    8 villagers are dead. 33 villagers are safe. 132 prisoners remain.

    Round 41
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 6 5 = Han
    9 villagers are dead. 33 villagers are safe. 131 prisoners remain.

    Round 42
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice 2 6 = Chō
    9 villagers are dead. 34 villagers are safe. 130 prisoners remain.

    Round 43
    Hazō: Han
    Hidan: Chō
    Dice: 2 1 = Han
    9 villagers are dead. 35 villagers are safe. 129 prisoners remain.

    Round 44
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 1 6 = Han
    10 villagers are dead. 35 villagers are safe. 128 prisoners remain.

    Round 45
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 4 2 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 36 villagers are safe. 127 prisoners remain.

    Round 46
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 6 4 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 37 villagers are safe. 126 prisoners remain.

    Round 47
    Hazō: Han
    Hidan: Chō
    Dice: 6 3 = Han
    10 villagers are dead. 38 villagers are safe. 125 prisoners remain.

    Round 48
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 3 5 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 39 villagers are safe. 124 prisoners remain.

    Round 49
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 6 2 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 40 villagers are safe. 123 prisoners remain.

    Round 50
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 5 3 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 41 villagers are safe. 122 prisoners remain.

    Round 51
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 2 2 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 42 villagers are safe. 121 prisoners remain.

    Round 52
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 6 6 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 43 villagers are safe. 120 prisoners remain.

    Round 53
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 3 5 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 44 villagers are safe. 119 prisoners remain.

    Round 54
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 1 5 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 45 villagers are safe. 118 prisoners remain.

    Round 55
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 5 5 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 46 villagers are safe. 117 prisoners remain.

    Round 56
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 5 3 = Chō
    10 villagers are dead. 47 villagers are safe. 116 prisoners remain.

    Round 57
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 1 2 = Han
    11 villagers are dead. 47 villagers are safe. 115 prisoners remain.

    Round 58
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 5 2 = Han
    12 villagers are dead. 47 villagers are safe. 114 prisoners remain.

    Round 59
    Hazō: Chō
    Hidan: Han
    Dice: 6 4 = Chō
    12 villagers are dead. 48 villagers are safe. 113 prisoners remain.

    Round 60
    Hidan: Han
    Hazō: Chō
    Dice: 1 2 = Han
    13 villagers are dead. 48 villagers are safe. 112 prisoners remain.

    Hidan roared with laughter as he eviscerated the last civilian. "Fine. Ya got me. First ya had the guts to cheat to my face twenty-six times in a row, then ya beat me with two-to-one odds at a fifty/fifty game. I accept defeat. Ya still got Lord Jashin's favour, and how."

    "Does that mean you'll be letting the rest of these people go?" Hazō asked cautiously.

    Hidan considered, running his finger absent-mindedly along the edge of his scythe. Having seen that thing in action, Hazō couldn't begin to imagine how he wasn't cutting himself.

    "I had a whole lotta games ready," he said, "and it would be lame to just throw all of that away, even if Lord Jashin loves ya. I reckon we keep goin'. It's not lookin' like my night, so maybe ya'll get to save a few more people before I kill the rest."

    "What."

    "They're sacrifices," Hidan said as if it was obvious. "They get the honour and privilege of bleeding for Lord Jashin. The ones you didn't win, anyway. Why, ya thought I'd just let them wander off like sheep when we were done here?"

    Hell no. Hazō was not going to let more lives seep through his fingers, one by one, for the sake of a lunatic's entertainment.

    "One game," Hazō said. "Let's do this properly. Winner takes all."

    Hidan grinned. "Some of Lord Jashin's favourite words. Whatcha got in mind, kid? And no dice this time—ya don't get to pull that trick twice."

    "Cards, then," Hazō said. "The Bingo Book says you're from Hot Springs. Do you play Geyser Blade?"

    Hidan groped around in the folds of his robe and pulled out a battered old deck.

    "Not anymore," he said. "The other Akatsuki guys hate it, and everyone else who liked to play… well, only one currency, remember?"

    Perfect. The last thing Hazō wanted was for Hidan to reject his pick and present a counter-offer that put Hazō at a disadvantage. Fortunately, that abysmal visit to Hot Springs had taught him that the locals loved Byakuren's Crow, one of Hazō's favourite obscure card games, even if they called it by a silly name.

    "I'm game if you are," he told Hidan.

    "Best of five?" the missing-nin asked as if doing Hazō a favour.

    Hazō gave him a smirk that would make Mari proud.

    "You won't make it that far."

    -o-​

    These rules are completely arbitrary, much like Hidan, and involve a d100 roll with minor modifiers.

    Modifiers:

    Hidan:
    Gambles regularly with extremely smart and/or scary uber-ninja (+30)
    Marked cards (+40)
    S-rank ninja (cheating has become second nature) (+20)

    Hazō:
    Experienced gamer (+20)
    Spent half a year running his own casino (+20)
    Taught probability by Keiko when preparing for the Chūnin Exam (+20)
    Card counting is just another kind of list (+40)
    Ultimate poker face (+30)

    Round 1
    Hidan: 58 + 90 = 148
    Hazō: 45 + 130 = 175
    Hazō wins.

    Round 2
    Hidan: 73 + 90 = 163
    Hazō: 88 + 130 = 218
    Hazō wins.

    Round 3.
    Hidan: 7 + 90 = 97
    Hazō: 72 + 130 = 202.
    Hazō dominates.

    "And we're done," Hazō said smoothly. "The remaining cards in your hand are two threes, a Wand, and a Fireball. I have the last Yata Mirror in the deck, and based on what you've played so far, the card you must have slipped into your robe earlier is either a four or a five. Also, this isn't actually a two in my hand. I added the tear on the corner myself.

    "Would you like to surrender, or shall we prolong your suffering?"

    -o-​

    "So let me get this straight," Asuma said, cradling his head in his hands. "You had one of the most terrifying killers on the planet, a man who treats genocide as a hobby, turn up in your home and tell you he'd taken an entire village hostage."

    "More or less."

    "And you resolved the situation with less than ten percent casualties."

    "That's right."

    "And received your own holy symbol as proof of Jashin's extreme favour."

    "Which I've handed over for analysis."

    "And persuaded him to go fight our other worst enemies whom we can't touch ourselves."

    "Pretty much."

    "Hazō," Asuma said wearily, "what are we going to do with you?"

    "Sir?"

    Asuma levered himself upright again. In his defence, these were the early hours of the morning. Hazō figured that someone in his position couldn't afford not to report encounters with enemies of the state immediately and in person.

    "On the one hand, this is a case of your sins coming back to haunt the entire village. I don't need to tell you how many people, not just civilians, could have died tonight if a single thing had gone wrong, all because a few months ago you saw fit to go over my head. You playing geopolitics without clearing it with me first is just another example of the same pattern of behaviour. Your choices could have vast ramifications for all of us, and whatever consequences arise from this decision will be exclusively on your head."

    "I understand, sir," Hazō said coolly. "Nevertheless, I feel I did the best I could under the circumstances."

    "That would be the other hand." Asuma smiled unexpectedly. "You are many things, Hazō, but you are not disloyal and you are not stupid. I am choosing to trust you, and if you didn't deliberately go out of your way to consort with Akatsuki tonight, that means you were faced with a nightmare situation you couldn't possibly have been ready for, and you handled it better than I could have hoped.

    "I'll want a proper debriefing in the morning, because we will need every last shred of information on Hidan if we're to have a chance of securing this village against more invasions like this one. For now, I think you should go get some well-earned rest. After what you've been through, there is no question that you need it."

    "Not yet, sir," Hazō said. "I still have a job to do. For all that all of this was Hidan's fault, the fact is that the people of Bakuchioka suffered and died because Leaf couldn't protect them from an enemy ninja. Because I couldn't protect them. Whether you think it's appropriate to send anyone with me is up to you, but there are graves to dig and almost certainly injuries to treat."

    And, of course, compensation to pay. Once again, Hazō had failed to protect the vulnerable, and once again, all he could do was throw money at them and hope it was enough.

    "This wasn't your fault, Hazō," Asuma said firmly. "No one is going to blame you for only mostly stopping an out-of-control monster. Get some rest. That is an order from your Kage.

    "You know," Asuma said after a second, "nobody's going to be digging graves for civilians, much less in the dark, but Tsunade will only thank me if I get one or two of her trainee medic-nin up at the crack of dawn to get some field experience."

    "Thank you, sir."

    "Good night, Hazō. And good job."

    -o-
    ​
    XP awards for the night were covered in @eaglejarl's update. However, you have received 1 FP for winning a conflict with meaningful stakes. You were due another for receiving a Mental Consequence, but in the end Hazō's remarkable performance left him relatively untraumatised.

    -o-
    ​
    In accordance with your request, Hidan has set off to massacre the Tsuchikage, Shirogane Kitae, and Ōnoki's other warhawk successors. Hopefully he'll face off against a jinchūriki and get killed in the process.

    What do you do?

    Voting closes on Saturday 9th of January, 1 p.m. New York time.
     
    Last edited:
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    • Okay so uh.

    Right that was a thing.

    Uh...

    ...

    FOOM now, suplex everyone through the floor until this sort of thing stops happening, yah?
     
    This went significantly better than expected.

    Also, can I just say that I loved the "card counting is just another kind of list" modifier? Outstanding.
     
    Hoooooooooly heck, I am so glad that turned out well. I have yet again updated a little more towards Jashin actually being real and favoring Hazou.

    That was amazing
     
    This could have gone so much worse. Hazou on autopilot isn't all that bad, is he?
     
    Tangential, but I love finding the Kiseki references in Velorien chapters - even when it's a card game with innocent lives on the line, I can't help but smile when I realize.
     
    Shrooms said:
    LET'S GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

    [X] Interlude: Stone Cold Killer, Hidan vs Hidden Rock
    Click to expand...
    Click to shrink...
    "Nooo! Shirogane-sama! Why would you do this, Hidan? Ōnoki was the only Rock-nin to even go to Nagi Island!"

    "Oh, I was asked by Gōketsu Hazō, head of the Gōketsu Clan from Hidden Leaf. He lives in that little compound just outside the village walls."

    [to himself] "He's Lord Jashin's second favourite person in the world. He should be thanking me for the opportunity to do some massacring in his own back yard."
     
    So how much fallout will there be for Hazou after Hidan goes around being Hidan and telling whoever survives him, that Jashin's chosen whom is also a clan head in Leaf sent him? Time will tell.
     
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