Easy ocean-crossing. Other methods of aquatic travel are slow (boats) or exhausting (waterwalking on waves), and prone to attacks by aquatic chakra-monsters (who seem far more numerous than sky squids).
Marked for Death: A Rational Naruto Quest
- Thread starter eaglejarl
- Start date
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- Tags
- naruto rational rationalist romance armageddon is looking better and better damn you kishimoto explosions everywhere explosives solve everyone if in doubt surrender to the mercy of zabuza it seemed like a good idea at the time looks like a really bad case of being a jōnin my god. where does the lore end? precommitting is the winning plan screaming in kagome screw the rules i have explosives something bad might still happen sometimes you gotta sociopath stabby zabby subsection c of paragraph 9 should include we can weaponize this so hard
Easy ocean-crossing. Other methods of aquatic travel are slow (boats) or exhausting (waterwalking on waves), and prone to attacks by aquatic chakra-monsters (who seem far more numerous than sky squids).
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
Excuse u I'm pretty sure it was my first action plan
+1 insightful. You guys know how scary Jiraiya was? The Hokage is like that, exept he just sank all his spare XP from not being the world's best sealmaster into the special skill of "being even more goddamn terrifying".
Pls pls pls be careful around granddaddy Hiruzen, mmmkay?? No wanna write a TPK
It's still 6 hours, yes.
Space or aeronautical exploration. What happens if you go really far up?
Excuse u I'm pretty sure it was my first action plan
That's the one I was talking about, yes.
Vecht
Self-Requested Ban
- Location
- Snarksville, Snarkland
They will revolutionize dancing.
- Location
- The Void
- Pronouns
- She/Her
Mobile airial reconnaissance is something I think we are ignoring. If there are sound amplifying jutsu or seals coupled with hyuga eyes you could literally have perfect information on every kage
Cariyaga
Handsome Gentleperson
- Location
- United States
We need to have Hazou read Yumehara's classical history so he can appropriately frame his answers when Jiraiya interrogates him specifically on his goals. Knowing the founding principles of Leaf will be a great help there.
Just throw that in halfway through the list of military applications, particularly if Jiraiya is taking a drink at the time.
- Location
- Yes.
The ability to capture Sky Squids and other airborne creatures, making lupchanzen farms significantly easier to construct and apply
!!!! ATTENTION PLANNING PEOPLE !!!! IMPORTANT ISSUE HERE !!!!
Okay, that's a problem. Damn. How fast would Pangolins-ninja speed be, and are there any towns near Leaf on a main road that is within maybe 4 hours travel distance at that speed? Would such towns be readily visible by Skytower, and if so what would the estimated chances of detection of a skytower at Leaf be?
Also, does anyone have alternatives? We need enough time to get a response from Leaf.
Okay, that's a problem. Damn. How fast would Pangolins-ninja speed be, and are there any towns near Leaf on a main road that is within maybe 4 hours travel distance at that speed? Would such towns be readily visible by Skytower, and if so what would the estimated chances of detection of a skytower at Leaf be?
Also, does anyone have alternatives? We need enough time to get a response from Leaf.
- Location
- The Deep Blue Sea
They enable many more varieties of aerial copulation than the skytowers do, a point which I'm sure Jiraiya will appreciate
(E:
Jiraiya: "Welp. I'll be in my bunk. Btw these seals are now and forevermore known as skyfuckers.")
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- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
Things I can remember (note, I've never looked super in deapth at the negotiation strategies, so others are almost certainly better to ask):
- Use mutually assured destruction or some other form of threat to make sure Leaf doesn't just kill us and take our stuff
- Through Pangolins
- Through Skywalker proliferation
- Through nukes
- Through leaving someone out of the negotiation table, prepared to blow stuff up
- Have Mari do literally everything
- Lesser varients just have her doing the talking
- Propose Jiraiya adopt us and form a new clan
- Possibly and marry Mari
- Have negotiations in a skytower
- Stage a dramatic entrance to impress
- Demonstrate a nuke
- Negotiate via mail (to avoid deception checks)
- Lay everything out plainly to Jiraiya and ask him to negotiate for us with whomever needs to be convinced in Leaf
- Go directly to the Hokage, bypassing Jiraiya
- Bring a Mountain ninja with us
- Bring a Pangolin negotiator with us
- Explain that we think that empowering Leaf is the best way for us to reach our ideological goals
I am not sure why we're taking that much effort when we could just talk to the nearest Leaf patrol, preferably the same group of ninja that took us in.
Edit: Also, the summon would need to know who the hokage look like, what Jiraiya look like, how to talk to the guards, etc.
We'd have to find a Leaf patrol, convince them we're not hostile, and convince them not to bring us directly into Leaf proper since we're not comfortable negotiating with Leaf inside of Leaf until we're citizens. At least that's my take on things.
Yes. Please do not introduce it to Hazou's subconscious.
- Location
- ...Nice try.
No. Tell us.
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
- Location
- The Maple Syrup Mountains
What would happen? I mean, if the air is full of mist the Air Dome forms with the mist inside. What happens when the air's only a tiny fraction of ocean-level density?
You can't just say things like that and not tell us.
- Location
- Yes.
Tell us in Discord chat. That way Hazou's official subconscious doesn't see it.
Rihaku
The Internet
If Jiraiya's contact in Tea doesn't have a means of contacting him even for an emergency-priority message, then we stop to discuss negotiating tactics with Mari while brainstorming other means of potentially contacting him, with the update ending before a day or so has passed in Tea. Once we're actually in a Leaf-adjacent country we'll have a better idea of the factors involved.
If Jiraiya is easily contacted, there's no need to prematurely deal with the Hokage and/or Leaf patrols and risk a misunderstanding. For example, the team could be taken in and Skywalkers seized with no negotiation whatsoever. Rather than selling them for a peerage you'd be reduced to begging for your life.
If Jiraiya is not easily contacted, then Hazou will need MUCH more thorough preparations before the team should feel comfortable interacting with Leaf.
Alternatively, just wait until the Pangolins reach him. Not ideal, but there would still be 3 days to deal with the Condor Summoner situation. Point is, the thread can better decide at that point.
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Sage-damnit Vecht...
- Location
- Phoenix, AZ
To be fair, "put four storage seals on a wheel with automated storage and removal" technically fulfills what @Vecht said.
Edit: as does just sealing everything then unsealing it all at one location
Edit 2: as does substitution (though it'll take a while)
Edit 3: as does reusable macerators
Edit 4: as does MEW
Edit 5: as does air condition no jutsu
Edit 6: as may 'store a storage seal'
Edit 7: as does 'scrible on the earth, call it a seal and try to infuse it'
Edit 8: as does the purifying seal, if we stack, like, 10^6 of them
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Nonono! Stop this!
We are not teaching Hazou how to make perpetual motion machines in the context of using said perpetual motion as a universe-buster.
(try taking this comment chain out of context...)
- Location
- ...Nice try.
Really? Because that looks exactly like what we're doing.
Why does everything we touch turn into WMDs?
Like, it was funny at first.
Now it's both funny and concerning.
Like, it was funny at first.
Now it's both funny and concerning.