"Doofenshmirtz Evil Coffee"
Proposed commercial script, with italics denoting something that would be left out in later cuts and underlines denoting 'future products' getting introduced.
Vanessa voiceover, starting with footage of Doof drinking coffee: "Evil tastes great."
<Shot of Dennis doing a lap around a track with some accountants, gradually pulling ahead> "Whether it's getting ahead..."
<Shot of Khan training, staring down a number of sparring partners before taking them all down.> "Being on top of your game..."
<Shot of Jumba working on a project, getting a glance at a clock and a starlit sky> "Continuing to work long after everyone else is not able to carry on..."
<Glamour shot of Mirage.> "Being evil always looks good and feels great."
<Demo shot of the mini-me coffeemaker> "The best way to get that kick start onto the path of evil is with a powerful cup of coffee in the morning."
<Shot of a barista being a surly at Goofy.> "If the coffee-shop experience just isn't good any more, perhaps it's time to turn to the power of Evil."
<jingle over a shot of the coffee-maker, dressed in a tiny version of a barista apron but with an expression of triumph> "Doofenshmirtz Eeevillll Cofffeeeeee!</jingle>
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<Shot of Vanessa sleeping in a darkened room, focus on the clock showing 10pm before eventually rolling around to 7am> "If you want to sleep like a log while still getting that same great evil taste, there's also..."
<jingle over a shot of coffee container that says "Decaf"> "Doofenshmirtz Eeevilll Decaffeinaaaateddddd!"</jingle>
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<Shot of the Utah desert> "If it's too hot for a hot drink?"
<jingle over the coffee-maker wearing a beanie and a scarf> "Doofenshmirtz Eeevilll Frrroozzenn Bleeenndddeeeeddd!"
A/N: Man, this thing fought me. Could be rust, or any number of other things. But I figure there's room for other people to explore the space.