- Location
- The Netherlands
paranormal investigations iirc, so i think the weird things is his branch
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
- Location
- MN
I believe FBI
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
The FBI appears to be subdivided into multiple branches that not only do criminal investigation, but are responsible for (and ignorant of) different parts of the Masquerade.
For example, the government maintains a blockade around Hawaii to keep the secret of alien activity in Hawaii. Normally, this would mean Russ would refuse to investigate Hawaii. But when he asked his boss, his boss was out of the loop on Hawaii and didn't know about it, so he authorized Russ to go ahead, NOT KNOWING that this would reveal secrets about aliens to Doof. Or desiring to learn these secrets himself through Russ, because fellow branches of the government weren't telling him.
The point is, there's this really weird shadowy thing going on with the government in this game, so it's relevant to try to figure out which secrets Russ would be trying to keep. Among other things because that tells us how likely it is that his superiors will take him seriously if he talks about magic.
...
But honestly, if we want to get the federal government moving in the right direction we should probably just talk to Xanatos. Xanatos has much stronger ties to the feds and is pretty clearly spending Diplomacy and Intrigue actions to try and subvert/control them, which he is well placed to do. I wouldn't go so far as to say the feds are an extension of Xanatos' will; I don't think it's gone that far. But Xanatos has much stronger and more resilient channels to influence the feds than we do, and those channels reach higher levels of the government.
- Location
- Australia
See
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest Crossover
The guy even messed with our scheduler to show off.
- Location
- MN
The problem that is Hawaii is under the branch of the CIA I believe but yeah as far as I know Russ works for the FBI and I have no idea what branch of the FBI he's in.
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
Well yeah, but we were fondly hoping that he was able to do that in part because of the business card Toffee gave us, which in hindsight was clearly some kind of magical beacon handed to us on the assumption that as magical illiterates we wouldn't realize what it was doing.
- Location
- the Netherworld Dood
yeah we're going to have to invest in that personal power armor soon.
Family Talk
Loved the idea of Hego blabbing to his sister about our meeting. It grabbed a hold of me, so I hammered this out in an hour or two. Let me know if there are any problems. Too tired to look for mistakes myself right now.
@Made in Heaven
Have another one of these a while back, do I need to tag that as well to get credit?
Family Talk
Shego kicked back in her oversized chair, turning to look out at Middleton from the top of the Drakktech headquarters. She savored the view for a long moment, before picking up one of the many phones, and dialing a number from memory. It rang twice, before
"Bueno Nacho, home of the Naco, now delivering from our hearts to your homes! How can I help you today?"
"Hey bro, just checking in to see how things are going."
Oh, hey Shego! I've got some time to talk." He said after a brief pause. Shego rolled her eyes. No one would be caught dead in Bueno Nacho even in the middle of the lunch rush, but he was just so damn dedicated to his job that he had to check anyways.
"Things are great. Getting some decent hero work in, working on some plans for rebuilding Bueno Nacho bigger and better than ever, and Doofenshmirtz is planning to go to war with the New Mewni Economic Area."
"What." She could already feel a headache building.
"Yeah, apparently the guy in charge is some sort of interdimension, immortal lizard wizard monster... thing. It's pretty much your standard super villain model, tragic backstory, thirst for vengeance, and wants to exterminate all humanity so monster can inherit the earth or something. And that's not even getting into some of the crazier things he told us about."
"I...I..." Shego struggled to get her thoughts in order.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to storm off on my own and face him single handed." Hego "The Doc wouldn't appreciate it, and the meeting made it clear that storming in without a plan would be a bad idea." Hego reassured her.
"Meeting?" Shego asked as she slumped back in her chair, still trying to sort out exactly what was happening.
"Yeah, he wanted to get everyone up to speed on what he's learned, and brainstorm some ways to get around the whole 'unkillable' quality this guy apparently has. Spent three hours bouncing ideas around ideas on how to get around it, ranging from death rays to having goofy do the polka so he laughs himself to death. None of them managed to get any real traction, so he's sitting back to come up with some scheme to take him down. This guy conquered a freaking planet, and has all the magic of that planet at his disposal. Much as I would love to go in like in the old days, fists flashing and powers blazing, that's not going to end anywhere near well."
"At last, you're starting to show some sense." Shego said, a smirk spreading across her face as they moved into familiar territory.
"Now if we were to reform Team Go, that might be a different story..." he trailed off
"No way in hell."
"Come on sis, when was the last time you really got to cut loose and kick some butt? Ever since you took over Drakktech from your old boss, you've been pulverizing zoning laws and fighting bureaucracy instead of super powered villains and robots." He wheedled, "Just think of how much fun that would be!"
She hesitated, before shaking her head, "I'm out, save for a few exceptional circumstances. I don't have the luxury of calling in sick like you, I run this company."
"All the more reason you should be able to take some time off. Who's going to stop you?"
"Keep trying, and I'll buy Bueno Nacho back from Doofenshmirtz just to burn it down in front of you." Shego growled, sitting forward.
"You think he'd give up any part of the Tri-State Area?" Hego teased.
"He would if I gave him a few more businesses in exchange. Go ahead and try me."
"Settle down, there's no reason to get so upset about it. You've got your life, I've got mine." He cajoled, voice tight. "No need to fight dirty."
She let him squirm for a few more seconds, "...Fine. Whatever, I've got better things to do besides make you suffer."
"Anyways, back to this meeting, you won't believe some of the dirt the boss man dug up on the corn this guy has been selling."
"Hego, stop." she ordered.
"Right, I got ya. I know you probably have some corporate takeover that needs your attention, so tell you what: There's too much to go over on the phone, so I'll write up an e-mail for you. Sound good?"
"I... whatever." She slumped back again.
"Great, I've got to get back to work now, but we should talk again soon! Love ya!"
She held the phone next to her head long after the click, and well into the irritating beeping before setting it back in its cradle.
This was big, the kind of thing that if one of her employees leaked to another major player, would result in an unexpected 'disappearance.' And her idiot brother just blabbed about it over the phone, and was going to send an e-mail of all things. Even when he was half a state away, he managed to drag her into his mess. Doofenshmirtz knew the score, and how she would react if he put her brother in danger, but if her brother was going to be so dense as to leak corporate secrets so brazenly, there was only so much she could do about it.
Sure, she could take on Doofenshmirtz, maybe even take him out if she tried hard enough, but it would be all too easy for him to spin this against her, making it harder to work with the other powers, and an all out war would leave her weak to opportunistic attacks. There had to be another way to resolve this. She scowled as a pang of longing shot through her. Back when Drakken was in charge, she could just make this his problem. God things were easier back then.
She would have to talk to the Doctor, work out some kind of deal, a little quid pro quo with an understanding that it was a one time thing, and that keeping Hego away from sensitive information was his responsibility. Her cleaning up this mess would never happen again, and he had better not expect it from her.
Or she could just make it abundantly clear to her brother that he needed to keep his mouth shut about this sort of thing, explain the concept of need-to-know, discretion, and all sorts of synonyms for keeping his big mouth shut. If she didn't act on this information directly, pretended to find out on her own, then they could keep a lid on things, and keep Doofenshmirtz in the dark.
That was the way to play this. Pretend it never happened, and make sure it wouldn't happen again. No cost to her, no conflict with Doofenshmirtz, it was perfect.
Her computer beeped, and after a few minutes, Shego let out a scream of frustration. As expected, the e-mail contained all the information Hego had promised and more.
And it had been CCed to Doofenshmirtz.
@Made in Heaven
Have another one of these a while back, do I need to tag that as well to get credit?
Family Talk
Shego kicked back in her oversized chair, turning to look out at Middleton from the top of the Drakktech headquarters. She savored the view for a long moment, before picking up one of the many phones, and dialing a number from memory. It rang twice, before
"Bueno Nacho, home of the Naco, now delivering from our hearts to your homes! How can I help you today?"
"Hey bro, just checking in to see how things are going."
Oh, hey Shego! I've got some time to talk." He said after a brief pause. Shego rolled her eyes. No one would be caught dead in Bueno Nacho even in the middle of the lunch rush, but he was just so damn dedicated to his job that he had to check anyways.
"Things are great. Getting some decent hero work in, working on some plans for rebuilding Bueno Nacho bigger and better than ever, and Doofenshmirtz is planning to go to war with the New Mewni Economic Area."
"What." She could already feel a headache building.
"Yeah, apparently the guy in charge is some sort of interdimension, immortal lizard wizard monster... thing. It's pretty much your standard super villain model, tragic backstory, thirst for vengeance, and wants to exterminate all humanity so monster can inherit the earth or something. And that's not even getting into some of the crazier things he told us about."
"I...I..." Shego struggled to get her thoughts in order.
"Don't worry, I'm not going to storm off on my own and face him single handed." Hego "The Doc wouldn't appreciate it, and the meeting made it clear that storming in without a plan would be a bad idea." Hego reassured her.
"Meeting?" Shego asked as she slumped back in her chair, still trying to sort out exactly what was happening.
"Yeah, he wanted to get everyone up to speed on what he's learned, and brainstorm some ways to get around the whole 'unkillable' quality this guy apparently has. Spent three hours bouncing ideas around ideas on how to get around it, ranging from death rays to having goofy do the polka so he laughs himself to death. None of them managed to get any real traction, so he's sitting back to come up with some scheme to take him down. This guy conquered a freaking planet, and has all the magic of that planet at his disposal. Much as I would love to go in like in the old days, fists flashing and powers blazing, that's not going to end anywhere near well."
"At last, you're starting to show some sense." Shego said, a smirk spreading across her face as they moved into familiar territory.
"Now if we were to reform Team Go, that might be a different story..." he trailed off
"No way in hell."
"Come on sis, when was the last time you really got to cut loose and kick some butt? Ever since you took over Drakktech from your old boss, you've been pulverizing zoning laws and fighting bureaucracy instead of super powered villains and robots." He wheedled, "Just think of how much fun that would be!"
She hesitated, before shaking her head, "I'm out, save for a few exceptional circumstances. I don't have the luxury of calling in sick like you, I run this company."
"All the more reason you should be able to take some time off. Who's going to stop you?"
"Keep trying, and I'll buy Bueno Nacho back from Doofenshmirtz just to burn it down in front of you." Shego growled, sitting forward.
"You think he'd give up any part of the Tri-State Area?" Hego teased.
"He would if I gave him a few more businesses in exchange. Go ahead and try me."
"Settle down, there's no reason to get so upset about it. You've got your life, I've got mine." He cajoled, voice tight. "No need to fight dirty."
She let him squirm for a few more seconds, "...Fine. Whatever, I've got better things to do besides make you suffer."
"Anyways, back to this meeting, you won't believe some of the dirt the boss man dug up on the corn this guy has been selling."
"Hego, stop." she ordered.
"Right, I got ya. I know you probably have some corporate takeover that needs your attention, so tell you what: There's too much to go over on the phone, so I'll write up an e-mail for you. Sound good?"
"I... whatever." She slumped back again.
"Great, I've got to get back to work now, but we should talk again soon! Love ya!"
She held the phone next to her head long after the click, and well into the irritating beeping before setting it back in its cradle.
This was big, the kind of thing that if one of her employees leaked to another major player, would result in an unexpected 'disappearance.' And her idiot brother just blabbed about it over the phone, and was going to send an e-mail of all things. Even when he was half a state away, he managed to drag her into his mess. Doofenshmirtz knew the score, and how she would react if he put her brother in danger, but if her brother was going to be so dense as to leak corporate secrets so brazenly, there was only so much she could do about it.
Sure, she could take on Doofenshmirtz, maybe even take him out if she tried hard enough, but it would be all too easy for him to spin this against her, making it harder to work with the other powers, and an all out war would leave her weak to opportunistic attacks. There had to be another way to resolve this. She scowled as a pang of longing shot through her. Back when Drakken was in charge, she could just make this his problem. God things were easier back then.
She would have to talk to the Doctor, work out some kind of deal, a little quid pro quo with an understanding that it was a one time thing, and that keeping Hego away from sensitive information was his responsibility. Her cleaning up this mess would never happen again, and he had better not expect it from her.
Or she could just make it abundantly clear to her brother that he needed to keep his mouth shut about this sort of thing, explain the concept of need-to-know, discretion, and all sorts of synonyms for keeping his big mouth shut. If she didn't act on this information directly, pretended to find out on her own, then they could keep a lid on things, and keep Doofenshmirtz in the dark.
That was the way to play this. Pretend it never happened, and make sure it wouldn't happen again. No cost to her, no conflict with Doofenshmirtz, it was perfect.
Her computer beeped, and after a few minutes, Shego let out a scream of frustration. As expected, the e-mail contained all the information Hego had promised and more.
And it had been CCed to Doofenshmirtz.
- Location
- USA
With all the stuff the government already covers up i have a hard time believing they would be shocked by much. And the point isn't to get them to believe us or do anything. It's for us to pass on a warning in good faith. They can take it or leave it after that point. As long as we did our part i don't care after that.
Meh. Maybe. I just think if we are going to try and ally with someone a friendly warning would be completely appropriate and hopefully if she hears anything we would get a warning as well.
- Location
- the Netherworld Dood
Doof: "oooh Hego's got Shego up to speed! Great saves me a trip!"
- Location
- Australia
I've started watching the show and as far as I can tell dimensional scissors don't require any kind of magical beacon at the target end. They just require some idea of your destination.
Even if a beacon was needed Kalabar could have planted another beacon while he was in the building. Toffee could also fairly easily arrange the delivery of another beacon in the guise of some innocuous object like a letter or gift. He could also mind-control a patsy to carry in the stuff.
Toffee could also just kill us all from outside the building with magic if he was willing to put in the effort with all the other stuff he has got going on
I can even see Doof trying to use that to start the convo when we reach out to her "So, I noticed Hego got you up to speed on the whole 'unkillable lizard wizard thing.', that makes this a lot easier..."
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
Wearing stompy power armor all the time seems impractical, though.
I think what we really need is to finally get the castle over here and rely on Malifishmertz to consult with us on warding the building properly. I suspect that there are ways to prevent casual magical intrusion; it's just that most 'muggles' and casual magical practitioners don't know them.
It's not that they'll be shocked, it's that I don't think they'll give a shit. We're famously eccentric; what do we know?
OK that's fair. On the other hand, this could be big, and if we're going to pass on warnings in good faith we should probably make sure the warnings get to people who will actually be able to do something about it. Xanatos is a good candidate, both because he has the influence with the feds to actually make them prepare, and because he himself might want to prepare, especially given that Demona is a prime suspect for all this.
I think we'd first have to introduce that we're into occult stuff. Does she even know magic is real?
See this is why I wanted to do the Magical Defenses action. Though having Malifishmertz to consult would be helpful there.
- Location
- USA
I wouldn't even mention magic unless she brought it up.
Just we've heard rumblings that something big is coming. We don't really know anything more than that. And that we are just trying to get ready for something bad however we can.
- Location
- the Netherworld Dood
" Oh you've come to assassinate me? How unexpected and by that I mean COMPLETELY EXPECTED "
I would not be super riser if an assassin came afterus even with the scissors (which is a hell of a commitment) they'd wind up in one of our many traps. Which would give us time to don our armor and call up defenses. We probably have the best mundane defenses of any king.
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
The thing is, that's so vague that Shego's going to ask the obvious question: "WHAT big thing? What general category of warning have you received, and who told you?"
She can't be expected to significantly alter her plans based on "oh yeah something big and totally nonspecific is going to happen in a year or less and I can't tell you why." It's entirely possible that she'd be better off just doing what she would otherwise have done anyway, simply because then she'll have more of her normal resources and equanimity when it's time to solve the problem.
- Location
- Australia
It isn't a hell of a commitment. An assassin wouldn't take the scissors with them onto our side of the portal. They also don't need to send an assassin through the portal. They can just send a bomb or missile.
- Location
- the Netherworld Dood
I thought the user had to go through?
even if he doesn't that's still opening a portal into the middle of an enemy base that might over run you.
Toffy doesn't seem to have a great deal of mundane explosives. Nor should he have a great deal of learning heroes as a primarly Ocult king.also you realize the building we're usually in has had more explosions happen in it then most bomb ranges? It'd probably take a medium yield Nuke to level the building.
- Location
- USA
Sigh... You're making this way more complicated than it needs to be.
We know something bad is coming. It might be nice of us to warn the people we seem to be getting along with about it.
It doesn't have to be super detailed, or be something they have to act on, or something we need to reveal sources on.
Just, hey I've gotten a cryptic warning something bads coming this year. Just passing that on since we're allies. Hope you do ok with whatever it is. If you need help with anything give us a call.
The only person I'd go into any detail with is Xanatos since he knows magic stuff.
- Location
- Germany
Yeah, just informing Xanatos would be the easy route - both because he as the one King we got actual formally good relations with will at least consider our warning and because he as "silent partner" of the Government will likely move them into a position more advangateous to himself (and indirectly us) in that regard.
Yeah, if we end up informing both Shego and Xanatos of either Toffee or that prophetic warning (both of which we should do), we really should not bother with vagueness and just give them explicit info, both to look more sincere (that being said, Xanatos is already relatively likely to believe us of looming threats, because in that talks-with-Goofy interlude he did muse to himself about "what is to come on the horizon", meaning that he already is on the lookout for trouble) and to give them a better idea of how *exactly* to prepare. After all, a magical attack/Masquerade-breach needs a different kind of prep-work than an economic recession...know what I mean?
Also, am I the only one whose mind immediately goes to *Vampire: The Masquerade* whenever that word gets used?
J.I.M.S
BookWyrm
- Location
- Latveria
No you are not.
I wonder if Revamping Bueno Nacho could be used to restart it's chain and spread GLORIOUS DOOFANIA'S influence. Sort of like Pollos Hermanos from Breaking Bad but not drugs. And I can feel it in my bones that it'd also come with a delicious Hego loyalty boost.
- Location
- being near locations is my passion.
No clockworkchaos, you are omake-inatorPersonally, I'd like to think it's just getting into character for Doofquest. Instead of inators, I pour my horribly traumatic backstory into omakes!
- Location
- Landland USA
You know, it occurs to me that the reason the DC for Revamping Bueno Nacho is so high is because it gives us a huge lead on finding Ron or Kim. I can't think of any other reason for the DC to be so ridiculously high, and there's literally a memorial to Ron in the middle of the restaurant. If that isn't a hint, I don't know what is.
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- Location
- Australia
Why would the user have to go through? They open portals. The very first episode has a servant opening a portal so the King's entourage can go through with the servant staying behind.
There is no risk of us overrunning his base through the portals. He can just close the portal after sending in his attack or if his attack appear to fail. He also doesn't have to make a portal straight from his HQ. He can portal his attackers to Bumfuck, Nowhere and then make a portal from there to our base. We also don't have the martial strength to contend with his army of monsters even if we did have a portal straight to his base.
Acquiring mundane explosives would be fairly trivial for Toffee with his mundane assets on Earth even without the assistance of magical theft. My guess is that he is using the funds from the corn to manufacture advanced weaponry for his interdimensional war. He is also not restricted to mundane explosives
- Location
- the Netherworld Dood
He opens a potal. And said portal has a good chance to have someone there to hold or contest the breech. And if the person in question is fast they can snatch the scissors.
We have a small army of super science guys and we still haven't gotten things researched that we stole from the Galla. I can't imagine Toffy is having an easy time establishing modern weapons for his forces.
again our HQ is stupid durable. A normal bomb isn't really all that dangerous. Hell Doof has survived far worse things himself, out toons would be singed and cough smoke,Khan could probably drop kick the bomb back though the portal, Norm bots are probably bomb proof or resistant.