I am against infiltrating 2 people next turn, since we have like, 3 intrigue units.
At the very least, wait until we see if we can use an infiltrated unit for actions before we put all our units on infiltration.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
At the very least, wait until we see if we can use an infiltrated unit for actions before we put all our units on infiltration.
We don't have to embed them.
- Location
- Florida
- Pronouns
- He/Him
I'd also point out that we also have the Doofanian Underworld which is quite possibly under the Blot's control in our backyard, while Murderous Toon is likely to open up with Russ' return (even if we should do Wile's personal first), and we have the Negaduck timer ticking down even if we are trying to collab fish there.
We already have plenty of known options that are peer or better than a Doom infiltration and that are an easy enough direction to argue for when the time comes.
Cruella De Vil Walks to Her Employer's Office
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Cruella De Vil Walks to Her Employer's Office
Thump Clack
Clack
Thump Clack
Clack
Thump Clack
Clack
Thump Clack
Clack
Thump Clack
Clack
"Hmm"
Click
Fshh-Clank
"Hm"
URRRRRR
URRRRRR
"Tch"
krkrSNAP
zip
fwish
Bzzt-Clunk
Thump Clack
Clack
Thump Clack
Clack
Thump Clack
Clack
Knock-knock
"Come in- I mean you're expected!"
"Dr. Doofenshmirtz, so few security systems account for the cane. You have my compliments."
"Oh! Thank you! So was that it or…?"
Walking Away from screen
L_C_R
O
| -|-
o /\
L_C_R
O
| -|-
o /\
I would argue we should infiltrate Doom before the murderous Toon. Leaves us well placed to take advantage of the resulting chaos, and could even reduce the DC. That said, yeah, the underworld is concerning. I'm mainly hoping Blot won't pull anything big two turns in a row.
Last edited:
Interlude: Find Fantastic, Part IV- Back in Action
- Location
- Pennsylvania
Russ' eyes roved over the scene, taking in Doofenshmirtz's largely insensate body, the gloating form of the Phantom Blot, and Mirage awestruck expression. Ralph was also there.
A moment later he took in the obvious supervillain making her way across the runic array towards Doofenshmirtz's twitching form. The woman muttered to herself semi-maniacally.
"-I knew it. I was right all along!"
Russ pulled the spycycle down in a steep arc to put himself between her and her apparent target. "Whose side are you on here?"
Mezmerella pointed at Mirage, who was in the middle of being assaulted (semi-ineffectually) by a wolf with a mallet.
"...What are trying to convey with that?"
"Go help her! If you're really on our side." Mezmerella rolled her eyes as she tiptoed around a particularly squiggly set of runes.
"I was a little busy trying to confirm you weren't about to stab the Good Doctor with pruning shears which, coincidentally, you have just done!" Russ said with moderate annoyance. He kicked his flying motorcycle into gear and spun around after Mirage. "Thank you!"
"Cop." Mezmerella muttered under her breath.
Martial Check: Archetypical Rescue
40+14+5+13+10=81 (Crit threshold 97+/6-)
Blot Opposed
67+35+23=125 (Crit threshold 97+/6-)
Failure
Russ' momentum was arrested as the massive laser that had moments ago cooked Doofenshmirtz to medium rare swiveled towards him and began emitting some sort of energy field that pulled the spycycle towards it.
"Agent Russ!" The Blot declared. "At last! I trust you're enjoying the welcoming party?"
"I just got back from hell, Blot." Russ replied. "What makes you think I'm in the mood to play?"
The Blot put the back of his palm to his forehead and slouched like a prima donna. "Ah! What tragedy! I suppose I shall simply have to escape into the night, forgotten and unpursued."
Russ Intrigue Check: Just how much does he want this?
35+38+31+10+5+10=129 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Phantom Blot Contest:
42+52+16-10(It's been months)=100 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Success
Russ smirked.
"I suppose someone does need to distract you."
"Indeed they do!" The Blot declared, leaping onto the laser with a flourish and sending its point swinging slightly even as it slowly pulled the Cycle closer. "While I had hoped my captive might stay more central in my deathtrap, I will not pretend I did not expect the possibility of imperfection!"
With the push of a button on his remote, the Blot's runic death trap whirred itself apart and reconfigured itself, ending its use as a ritual but heralding a far more effective set of buzz saws, crossbows, grappling hooks, pepper shakers and a massive mining drill. Each was mounted on a robotic arm or tendril, and each turned themselves one by one to regard Mezmerella as she fiddled with Dr. Doofenshmirtz's bindings.
"Think fast, Agent Russ!"
Blot Martial Check: Threaten 'Bystanders'
18+35+15(Deathtrap Extraordinaire)=68 (Crit threshold 98+/7-)
Mezmerella Contest
11+20+10=41 (Crit threshold 98+/7-)
Success
A buzz saw swung for Mezmerella's face, forcing her to dodge low to the ground and knocking Doof away. At that moment, a winding grappling hook snaked itself around Mezmerella's leg, jolted her pistol out of her grasp, and began to draw her back towards the maw of deadly miscellany.
"Well." The Blot said archly, still hanging from the laser. "Since you've been so rude as to remove my hostage, I suppose I'll just have to use a substitute. A shame, the Damsel in Distress is rather tired. Now, I look forward to seeing how Agent Russ will respond to this-"
Agent Russ Martial Check: Fight Fire with Reverse-Engineered Alien Fire
DC 90 (Crit threshold 96+/5-)
77+14+13+10=114
Classified Success
The Blot spun around at the rising whine of the Spy-Cycle's headlight glowing a brilliant blue. Caught face-first in the pull of the beam, Russ had done the most logical thing.
"Is that new?" The Blot asked conversationally. "Or were you simply saving it for a rainy day?"
The Blot leapt down from his laser even as a massive beam of blue engulfed it, scoring the thing with burn marks and finally freeing Russ from its pull.
Behind him, Mezmerella went for her other gun.
Mezmerella Martial check: Backup Pistol
DC 70 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
62+20+10=92
Success
Lasers shimmered through the air with an appropriately dinky 'pew pew' sound effect. The first two shots went wide, but the third snapped the cable, dropping Mez back onto the concrete floor.
The Phantom Blot stood, brushed himself off from the fall, and turned around.
"Is that a nineteen-thirties retrofuturist sidearm?" The Blot asked with professional interest.
"Fifties, actually." Mezmerella coughed, trying to catch her breath. "Custom work, try not to break it."
The Blot sighed fondly. "Ahhh, yes, I should have known from the emission spectra. I was there when the term 'raygun' was first coined in the pulps, you know. I will admit I did dabble from time to time, but it was never quite my style. I was always the Phantom thief, as you can imagine."
"You can tell me more on the way to the big house." Russ said, drawing his sidearm.
Mezmerella yanked the last of the cabling off her leg. "Having fun?"
"And you can no longer ruin it." The Blot replied.
"Nice that you've found someone you're happy with, congratulations." Mezmerella snuck a glance at Doofenshmirtz to make sure the traumatic head injury from where she dropped him wasn't anything serious.
You blink wearily. "Great-grandma Gretel, is that you?" you ask, fighting through the fog. A moment passes.
"I really hope not." You say, and then you know no more.
Russ shook off the moment. "Alright, that's enough fun."
"Oh, the festivities are not quite over yet, Agent Russ!" The Blot replied.
Russ Martial Check: End the Festivities
41+14+13+10+20+10=108 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Blot Contest:
54+35+23=112 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Bare Failure
Russ dove the Spycycle down towards the Blot, firing off a spray of bullets to limit his options for evasion. He drew closer, closer, his fingers wrapped around the Blot's inky suit-
And slipped off of it again, like trying to grasp water.
"You see," The Blot smirked, splaying a hand,
Blot Martial Check: The Show Must Go On
32+35+23+15(incoming punchline)=105 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Russ Contest:
31+14+13+10+20+10=98 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Bare Success
"Now that your marvelous contraption is no longer taking up the path of my beam, it is free to attract its true target. Tell me Agent Russ, do you know what kind of beam it is that draws in what lands in its path?"
Any response was preempted as a four-wheeled tractor slammed through the wall at an extremely unsafe velocity, junking the thing in the process and sending debris flying.
"Heh. Good one." Mezmerella chuckled.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Blot cackled as Russ failed to dodge in time, the vehicle clipping the Spycycle and sending it into a tailspin.
EXCELLENT WORK, SIR. Ralph signed, walking up to join his boss.
"Why thank you- wait a second. Ralph, what are you doing here? You are supposed to be menacing that woman! Get over there and menace that woman."
YES SIR! Ralph saluted, dropping his coffee cup in the process and burning his foot with the scalding liquid. Although hopping in agony on a single foot, he nonetheless frog-marched without complaint over to Mirage, carrying a sign reading JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE, MISS, AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
"Hrm. Coyote prefers tea." Mirage mused, entirely un-menaced. "I should have noticed."
Ralph put the sign away for a moment and shuffled a few others around. YOU ACTUALLY CAUGHT ME NEARLY THREE TIMES. He explained. MY BOSS HAD TO DO A LOT OF TRACK COVERING.
"Ahh, it's good to see such blind obedience. You can't buy this quality of henchman loyalty in Danville you know." said the Phantom Blot. "They're all cats. And unfortunately I have some associates who would take issue with any more of them."
Ralph fiddled with his signs for a moment. WAIT, WHICH OF THESE WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE…
Russ Martial Check: Regain Control
DC 110 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
45+31+14+13+10+20+10=143
Success
"I will question the cats later." Russ declared as he spun the motorcycle around. "Mirage, do you need help?"
Mirage looked at the sign Ralph was holding.
ゴゴゴゴ
TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: ゴゴゴゴ MEANS ROUGHLY MENACING (in japanese) (it's complicated)
"I'm not… sure." Mirage replied.
"Tag in." Mezmerella waved to Russ. "I'm reasonably sure Dr. Doofenshmirtz will live."
"I told him he was being a child about it." The Blot muttered.
Russ nodded before turning back to the Blot.
Mezmerella strode towards Ralph, flicking a dial on her goggles. She cupped a hand to her mouth. "Hey!"
Mezmerella Hypnosis Check: Eyes Up Here
78+31+10=119 Crit threshold 92+/1-)
Ralph Contest:
60+23-20(wool for brains)+5(Off-ACME Professional)=68 (Crit threshold 92+/6-(Off-ACME Professional))
Success
Ralph held up a sign. EXCUSE ME MA'AM, WHAT DO YOU…
THINK…
YOU'RE…
…
The signs gradually trailed off into ellipses as Ralph's eyes were filled with the same swirls that dominated Mez's goggles.
"Wow, that was easy. You'd think with the way he ran he'd do better." Mezmerella said, before turning to Mirage. "So, do you want to go now, or…?"
"I think it would be for the best."
"Uhuh. I mostly brought you in here in case there was some kind of dastardly paperwork trap, and, well. There isn't."
"A what?"
…
Mezmerella coughed awkwardly. "MINION!"
YES? Ralph asked.
"Escort her home! Pay for her cab fare too."
RIGHT. Ralph replied. …IS THAT HER HOME OR MY HOME?
Mezmerella blinked. "Well, I mean- do you want, actually Mirage where do you want to go?"
"...I would like to go to my own home, thank you."
SO… DO YOU MEAN DEI, OR, LIKE, YOUR ACTUAL HOUSE? BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF YOU WANT ME KNOWING YOUR PERSONAL-
"Yes, yes. Headquarters will be fine." Mirage said quickly.
SORRY. Ralph replied, with a snippy font. IT'S MY FIRST TIME BEING HYPNOTIZED, YOU KNOW.
"That you know of." The Blot agreed.
AH, SIR. LET ME JUST GO AHEAD AND CLOCK OUT FOR A LONG LUNCH IF THAT'S FINE, I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO-
"Go on, don't worry about it." The Blot replied. "If I nickel and dimed you like that I'd be a completely different sort of evil."
Russ grabbed onto the Blot's cloak. "Excellent distraction."
Russ Martial Check:
30+14+13+10+20+15(labor dispute)=102 (Crit threshold 94+/3-)
Blot Contest:
46+35+15=96 (Crit threshold 94+/3-)
Bare Success
This time Russ was prepared for the slick fabric, bunching up a solid handful and keeping a grip on it even as the Blot attempted to slip away.
"I mean it was a little rude to your counterpart." Mezmerella commented.
Russ paused.
"Nonetheless, it was a valid opening, if a bit of an uncouth execution." The Blot commented. "Do watch the fibers, this is not machine washable, to my regret."
Russ ran down his rapidly dwindling list of prepared one-liners. He was not in the best frame of mind for this.
"I'll wash out your inkstain if it's the last thing I… I'm sorry, I think I might need to just stop here and end the fight. I'm just not in the headspace."
The Blot nodded understandingly. "Oh, never you mind, Agent Russ! I can take it from here!"
The Blot pressed a single button upon his remote, and another grappling hook sprung out and locked around the Blot.
Blot Escape Check: Up and Away
84+52+15=151 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Russ Contest:
43+14+13+10+20=100 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Vanishing Success
The cloth once again slipped from Russ' fingers, and the Blot went flying toward the center of his deadly circle. The blades parted for him, allowing him to slip into the center. A moment later, the Blot shoved aside the chair to reveal a hidden latch, and beneath it, a tunnel. His form seemed to flow like water as he disappeared down it, protected by a whirlwind of death.
"Oh, and one last thing, Agent Russ!" the Blot cried out. "I've had some concerns your 'superior' might want you elsewhere for the coming weeks, so I took the opportunity to take a small souvenir with me!"
The Blot reached into his suit and pulled out a small, eight-sided object. It was made of wood.
"A very entertaining puzzle, this! It kept me occupied while your little friends came a-hunting. Tell Doctor Doofenshmirtz that if wants to see it again, he'll send you to retrieve it! Or else I might just take the time to alert its original owners! Adieu, Agent Russ!"
With that the Blot spun around and, to the sound of a loosening drain, he was gone.
"So. You and him, huh?" Mezmerella pulled out her phone and started snapping pictures of the warehouse.
"I need someone to explain what's been happening since I left." Russ said, examining himself for injuries. "Can you catch me up while we get the Doctor medical attention?"
"Sure, if you tell me who you are. Should probably get an actual ambulance here now. You have the local number?"
"My name is Bob Russ." Russ replied, already regretting his phone had been lost along the way; or maybe he'd just imagined it. "I work for Doofenshmirtz. And… others."
"Do you go by 'Mr.' or 'Agent'?" Mezmerella tagged down a few notes.
Russ looked at her for a moment.
"That's classified."
"I'd ask if you take bribes, but the answer to that is pretty obvious. How deep in are you with Doof anyways?"
"I've come to appreciate the man."
"In that case, I'll pen you down for a check-in with Dr. Jookiba."
"Why?" Russ asked, with twice as much suspicion as before.
"To make sure you're not an alien infiltrator who's pretending to be a human, obviously."
"There's an off chance he'd lie for his own goals, make Janus double check his work. Also I'm examining his syringes first."
"Okay, so you do actually know some things, that rules some possibilities out."
"I appreciate the due diligence but please call that ambulance now."
"If you've lost your phone, you should have said so. Before I do that, any questions?"
Russ Learning Roll: Do You Trust This Face?
DC 95 (Crit threshold 97+/6-)
1+15+20(Super aficionado)=36
Critical Failure
Russ knew he was forgetting something. He was all but certain he had heard of this woman before. Nothing concrete came to him, and yet a few words would not leave his mind, time and again, about what this woman's role was. Words that made no sense, words that honestly concerned him. But given the circumstances, there was only one logical explanation, and he had wondered why she'd brought her along. And so, in spite of his own misgivings, he made his assumption, and he spoke.
"Many, but it can wait. I'll ask your girlfriend when she debriefs me."
Mezmerella Composure Roll
DC 65
76+31+20(this is hilarious)-20(this is hilarious)=127
Blank Success
"Uhuh. Well. Check in at the Evil Lair before you go…wherever you secret agents go to rest. Your pod. I'll handle the cleanup here."
There was no way to tell behind the glasses, but Mez was pretty sure he rolled his eyes.
"Right then." Russ said, using the last of his reserves in order to mount his motorcycle and make for the freeway. "...back to it."
===
"No one's even moved the car, let alone explained it!" Moseby complained to his new ranine friend. "Am I meant to hire a carpenter or a towing service? Perhaps a therapist would be most helpful!"
"Hmm, says here we have one on site." Kermit replied, taking a sip of his off-brand Thembrian Luptone tea.
"Oh yes, that bodes well." Moseby replies sarcastically, taking a sip of his own coffee. "Why are you drinking that horrible knock-off, anyway? It's 50% asphalt by volume."
"Well, I got a taste for it back in that Far Eastern Thembrian gulag." Kermit replied. "Guess I just can't shake the habit."
"In that what?"
At that moment the door swung open, and a man walked in. He was alive, or at the very least ambulatory, but looked as if he had not slept in a year. Slowly, blind to the world, he shuffled over to the coffee machine and prepared a double Americano. He waited patiently, lifted the cup, and carried the unsweetened beverage back to the table. He sat down, took a long drink, and looked up.
He kept looking, long enough for an awkward pause.
"...you're Kermit the Frog." Agent Russ said.
Kermit took a sip of his Luptone.
"Well yes." He replied. "Yes I am."
===
Wile E Coyote's Opinion has increased by 5 (Trap Aficionado)
The DC of Trap Your Headquarters has fallen by 10!
Look through ACME's records has changed to Look through subsidiary records!
You've gotten a vague idea of what Wile's Personals might do! (We'll be changing other personals next turn to give you vague ideas of what they do too, but it'll be even vaguer than this.)
Mezmerella's (and only Mezmerella's) Working With Mirage opinion penalty has been removed. Mezmerella would gain 5 Loyalty, but is holding it hostage until she gets to do a sufficiently supervillainy action.
The Blot has stolen your Odd Object! He demands Russ take action to track it down! If you do not send Russ to reclaim it within 2 turns, he claims he will alert its 'original owners', whomever that may be.
Agent Russ has returned to your Hero Units list.
Agent Russ has gained 4 Occult!
A moment later he took in the obvious supervillain making her way across the runic array towards Doofenshmirtz's twitching form. The woman muttered to herself semi-maniacally.
"-I knew it. I was right all along!"
Russ pulled the spycycle down in a steep arc to put himself between her and her apparent target. "Whose side are you on here?"
Mezmerella pointed at Mirage, who was in the middle of being assaulted (semi-ineffectually) by a wolf with a mallet.
"...What are trying to convey with that?"
"Go help her! If you're really on our side." Mezmerella rolled her eyes as she tiptoed around a particularly squiggly set of runes.
"I was a little busy trying to confirm you weren't about to stab the Good Doctor with pruning shears which, coincidentally, you have just done!" Russ said with moderate annoyance. He kicked his flying motorcycle into gear and spun around after Mirage. "Thank you!"
"Cop." Mezmerella muttered under her breath.
Martial Check: Archetypical Rescue
40+14+5+13+10=81 (Crit threshold 97+/6-)
Blot Opposed
67+35+23=125 (Crit threshold 97+/6-)
Failure
Russ' momentum was arrested as the massive laser that had moments ago cooked Doofenshmirtz to medium rare swiveled towards him and began emitting some sort of energy field that pulled the spycycle towards it.
"Agent Russ!" The Blot declared. "At last! I trust you're enjoying the welcoming party?"
"I just got back from hell, Blot." Russ replied. "What makes you think I'm in the mood to play?"
The Blot put the back of his palm to his forehead and slouched like a prima donna. "Ah! What tragedy! I suppose I shall simply have to escape into the night, forgotten and unpursued."
Russ Intrigue Check: Just how much does he want this?
35+38+31+10+5+10=129 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Phantom Blot Contest:
42+52+16-10(It's been months)=100 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Success
Russ smirked.
"I suppose someone does need to distract you."
"Indeed they do!" The Blot declared, leaping onto the laser with a flourish and sending its point swinging slightly even as it slowly pulled the Cycle closer. "While I had hoped my captive might stay more central in my deathtrap, I will not pretend I did not expect the possibility of imperfection!"
With the push of a button on his remote, the Blot's runic death trap whirred itself apart and reconfigured itself, ending its use as a ritual but heralding a far more effective set of buzz saws, crossbows, grappling hooks, pepper shakers and a massive mining drill. Each was mounted on a robotic arm or tendril, and each turned themselves one by one to regard Mezmerella as she fiddled with Dr. Doofenshmirtz's bindings.
"Think fast, Agent Russ!"
Blot Martial Check: Threaten 'Bystanders'
18+35+15(Deathtrap Extraordinaire)=68 (Crit threshold 98+/7-)
Mezmerella Contest
11+20+10=41 (Crit threshold 98+/7-)
Success
A buzz saw swung for Mezmerella's face, forcing her to dodge low to the ground and knocking Doof away. At that moment, a winding grappling hook snaked itself around Mezmerella's leg, jolted her pistol out of her grasp, and began to draw her back towards the maw of deadly miscellany.
"Well." The Blot said archly, still hanging from the laser. "Since you've been so rude as to remove my hostage, I suppose I'll just have to use a substitute. A shame, the Damsel in Distress is rather tired. Now, I look forward to seeing how Agent Russ will respond to this-"
Agent Russ Martial Check: Fight Fire with Reverse-Engineered Alien Fire
DC 90 (Crit threshold 96+/5-)
77+14+13+10=114
Classified Success
The Blot spun around at the rising whine of the Spy-Cycle's headlight glowing a brilliant blue. Caught face-first in the pull of the beam, Russ had done the most logical thing.
"Is that new?" The Blot asked conversationally. "Or were you simply saving it for a rainy day?"
The Blot leapt down from his laser even as a massive beam of blue engulfed it, scoring the thing with burn marks and finally freeing Russ from its pull.
Behind him, Mezmerella went for her other gun.
Mezmerella Martial check: Backup Pistol
DC 70 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
62+20+10=92
Success
Lasers shimmered through the air with an appropriately dinky 'pew pew' sound effect. The first two shots went wide, but the third snapped the cable, dropping Mez back onto the concrete floor.
The Phantom Blot stood, brushed himself off from the fall, and turned around.
"Is that a nineteen-thirties retrofuturist sidearm?" The Blot asked with professional interest.
"Fifties, actually." Mezmerella coughed, trying to catch her breath. "Custom work, try not to break it."
The Blot sighed fondly. "Ahhh, yes, I should have known from the emission spectra. I was there when the term 'raygun' was first coined in the pulps, you know. I will admit I did dabble from time to time, but it was never quite my style. I was always the Phantom thief, as you can imagine."
"You can tell me more on the way to the big house." Russ said, drawing his sidearm.
Mezmerella yanked the last of the cabling off her leg. "Having fun?"
"And you can no longer ruin it." The Blot replied.
"Nice that you've found someone you're happy with, congratulations." Mezmerella snuck a glance at Doofenshmirtz to make sure the traumatic head injury from where she dropped him wasn't anything serious.
You blink wearily. "Great-grandma Gretel, is that you?" you ask, fighting through the fog. A moment passes.
"I really hope not." You say, and then you know no more.
Russ shook off the moment. "Alright, that's enough fun."
"Oh, the festivities are not quite over yet, Agent Russ!" The Blot replied.
Russ Martial Check: End the Festivities
41+14+13+10+20+10=108 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Blot Contest:
54+35+23=112 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Bare Failure
Russ dove the Spycycle down towards the Blot, firing off a spray of bullets to limit his options for evasion. He drew closer, closer, his fingers wrapped around the Blot's inky suit-
And slipped off of it again, like trying to grasp water.
"You see," The Blot smirked, splaying a hand,
Blot Martial Check: The Show Must Go On
32+35+23+15(incoming punchline)=105 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Russ Contest:
31+14+13+10+20+10=98 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Bare Success
"Now that your marvelous contraption is no longer taking up the path of my beam, it is free to attract its true target. Tell me Agent Russ, do you know what kind of beam it is that draws in what lands in its path?"
Any response was preempted as a four-wheeled tractor slammed through the wall at an extremely unsafe velocity, junking the thing in the process and sending debris flying.
"Heh. Good one." Mezmerella chuckled.
"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" The Blot cackled as Russ failed to dodge in time, the vehicle clipping the Spycycle and sending it into a tailspin.
EXCELLENT WORK, SIR. Ralph signed, walking up to join his boss.
"Why thank you- wait a second. Ralph, what are you doing here? You are supposed to be menacing that woman! Get over there and menace that woman."
YES SIR! Ralph saluted, dropping his coffee cup in the process and burning his foot with the scalding liquid. Although hopping in agony on a single foot, he nonetheless frog-marched without complaint over to Mirage, carrying a sign reading JUST STAY WHERE YOU ARE, MISS, AND NO ONE GETS HURT.
"Hrm. Coyote prefers tea." Mirage mused, entirely un-menaced. "I should have noticed."
Ralph put the sign away for a moment and shuffled a few others around. YOU ACTUALLY CAUGHT ME NEARLY THREE TIMES. He explained. MY BOSS HAD TO DO A LOT OF TRACK COVERING.
"Ahh, it's good to see such blind obedience. You can't buy this quality of henchman loyalty in Danville you know." said the Phantom Blot. "They're all cats. And unfortunately I have some associates who would take issue with any more of them."
Ralph fiddled with his signs for a moment. WAIT, WHICH OF THESE WAS I SUPPOSED TO BE…
Russ Martial Check: Regain Control
DC 110 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
45+31+14+13+10+20+10=143
Success
"I will question the cats later." Russ declared as he spun the motorcycle around. "Mirage, do you need help?"
Mirage looked at the sign Ralph was holding.
ゴゴゴゴ
TRANSLATOR'S NOTE: ゴゴゴゴ MEANS ROUGHLY MENACING (in japanese) (it's complicated)
"I'm not… sure." Mirage replied.
"Tag in." Mezmerella waved to Russ. "I'm reasonably sure Dr. Doofenshmirtz will live."
"I told him he was being a child about it." The Blot muttered.
Russ nodded before turning back to the Blot.
Mezmerella strode towards Ralph, flicking a dial on her goggles. She cupped a hand to her mouth. "Hey!"
Mezmerella Hypnosis Check: Eyes Up Here
78+31+10=119 Crit threshold 92+/1-)
Ralph Contest:
60+23-20(wool for brains)+5(Off-ACME Professional)=68 (Crit threshold 92+/6-(Off-ACME Professional))
Success
Ralph held up a sign. EXCUSE ME MA'AM, WHAT DO YOU…
THINK…
YOU'RE…
…
The signs gradually trailed off into ellipses as Ralph's eyes were filled with the same swirls that dominated Mez's goggles.
"Wow, that was easy. You'd think with the way he ran he'd do better." Mezmerella said, before turning to Mirage. "So, do you want to go now, or…?"
"I think it would be for the best."
"Uhuh. I mostly brought you in here in case there was some kind of dastardly paperwork trap, and, well. There isn't."
"A what?"
…
Mezmerella coughed awkwardly. "MINION!"
YES? Ralph asked.
"Escort her home! Pay for her cab fare too."
RIGHT. Ralph replied. …IS THAT HER HOME OR MY HOME?
Mezmerella blinked. "Well, I mean- do you want, actually Mirage where do you want to go?"
"...I would like to go to my own home, thank you."
SO… DO YOU MEAN DEI, OR, LIKE, YOUR ACTUAL HOUSE? BECAUSE I DON'T REALLY KNOW IF YOU WANT ME KNOWING YOUR PERSONAL-
"Yes, yes. Headquarters will be fine." Mirage said quickly.
SORRY. Ralph replied, with a snippy font. IT'S MY FIRST TIME BEING HYPNOTIZED, YOU KNOW.
"That you know of." The Blot agreed.
AH, SIR. LET ME JUST GO AHEAD AND CLOCK OUT FOR A LONG LUNCH IF THAT'S FINE, I'M AFRAID I HAVE TO-
"Go on, don't worry about it." The Blot replied. "If I nickel and dimed you like that I'd be a completely different sort of evil."
Russ grabbed onto the Blot's cloak. "Excellent distraction."
Russ Martial Check:
30+14+13+10+20+15(labor dispute)=102 (Crit threshold 94+/3-)
Blot Contest:
46+35+15=96 (Crit threshold 94+/3-)
Bare Success
This time Russ was prepared for the slick fabric, bunching up a solid handful and keeping a grip on it even as the Blot attempted to slip away.
"I mean it was a little rude to your counterpart." Mezmerella commented.
Russ paused.
"Nonetheless, it was a valid opening, if a bit of an uncouth execution." The Blot commented. "Do watch the fibers, this is not machine washable, to my regret."
Russ ran down his rapidly dwindling list of prepared one-liners. He was not in the best frame of mind for this.
"I'll wash out your inkstain if it's the last thing I… I'm sorry, I think I might need to just stop here and end the fight. I'm just not in the headspace."
The Blot nodded understandingly. "Oh, never you mind, Agent Russ! I can take it from here!"
The Blot pressed a single button upon his remote, and another grappling hook sprung out and locked around the Blot.
Blot Escape Check: Up and Away
84+52+15=151 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Russ Contest:
43+14+13+10+20=100 (Crit threshold 95+/4-)
Vanishing Success
The cloth once again slipped from Russ' fingers, and the Blot went flying toward the center of his deadly circle. The blades parted for him, allowing him to slip into the center. A moment later, the Blot shoved aside the chair to reveal a hidden latch, and beneath it, a tunnel. His form seemed to flow like water as he disappeared down it, protected by a whirlwind of death.
"Oh, and one last thing, Agent Russ!" the Blot cried out. "I've had some concerns your 'superior' might want you elsewhere for the coming weeks, so I took the opportunity to take a small souvenir with me!"
The Blot reached into his suit and pulled out a small, eight-sided object. It was made of wood.
"A very entertaining puzzle, this! It kept me occupied while your little friends came a-hunting. Tell Doctor Doofenshmirtz that if wants to see it again, he'll send you to retrieve it! Or else I might just take the time to alert its original owners! Adieu, Agent Russ!"
With that the Blot spun around and, to the sound of a loosening drain, he was gone.
"So. You and him, huh?" Mezmerella pulled out her phone and started snapping pictures of the warehouse.
"I need someone to explain what's been happening since I left." Russ said, examining himself for injuries. "Can you catch me up while we get the Doctor medical attention?"
"Sure, if you tell me who you are. Should probably get an actual ambulance here now. You have the local number?"
"My name is Bob Russ." Russ replied, already regretting his phone had been lost along the way; or maybe he'd just imagined it. "I work for Doofenshmirtz. And… others."
"Do you go by 'Mr.' or 'Agent'?" Mezmerella tagged down a few notes.
Russ looked at her for a moment.
"That's classified."
"I'd ask if you take bribes, but the answer to that is pretty obvious. How deep in are you with Doof anyways?"
"I've come to appreciate the man."
"In that case, I'll pen you down for a check-in with Dr. Jookiba."
"Why?" Russ asked, with twice as much suspicion as before.
"To make sure you're not an alien infiltrator who's pretending to be a human, obviously."
"There's an off chance he'd lie for his own goals, make Janus double check his work. Also I'm examining his syringes first."
"Okay, so you do actually know some things, that rules some possibilities out."
"I appreciate the due diligence but please call that ambulance now."
"If you've lost your phone, you should have said so. Before I do that, any questions?"
Russ Learning Roll: Do You Trust This Face?
DC 95 (Crit threshold 97+/6-)
1+15+20(Super aficionado)=36
Critical Failure
Russ knew he was forgetting something. He was all but certain he had heard of this woman before. Nothing concrete came to him, and yet a few words would not leave his mind, time and again, about what this woman's role was. Words that made no sense, words that honestly concerned him. But given the circumstances, there was only one logical explanation, and he had wondered why she'd brought her along. And so, in spite of his own misgivings, he made his assumption, and he spoke.
"Many, but it can wait. I'll ask your girlfriend when she debriefs me."
Mezmerella Composure Roll
DC 65
76+31+20(this is hilarious)-20(this is hilarious)=127
Blank Success
"Uhuh. Well. Check in at the Evil Lair before you go…wherever you secret agents go to rest. Your pod. I'll handle the cleanup here."
There was no way to tell behind the glasses, but Mez was pretty sure he rolled his eyes.
"Right then." Russ said, using the last of his reserves in order to mount his motorcycle and make for the freeway. "...back to it."
===
"No one's even moved the car, let alone explained it!" Moseby complained to his new ranine friend. "Am I meant to hire a carpenter or a towing service? Perhaps a therapist would be most helpful!"
"Hmm, says here we have one on site." Kermit replied, taking a sip of his off-brand Thembrian Luptone tea.
"Oh yes, that bodes well." Moseby replies sarcastically, taking a sip of his own coffee. "Why are you drinking that horrible knock-off, anyway? It's 50% asphalt by volume."
"Well, I got a taste for it back in that Far Eastern Thembrian gulag." Kermit replied. "Guess I just can't shake the habit."
"In that what?"
At that moment the door swung open, and a man walked in. He was alive, or at the very least ambulatory, but looked as if he had not slept in a year. Slowly, blind to the world, he shuffled over to the coffee machine and prepared a double Americano. He waited patiently, lifted the cup, and carried the unsweetened beverage back to the table. He sat down, took a long drink, and looked up.
He kept looking, long enough for an awkward pause.
"...you're Kermit the Frog." Agent Russ said.
Kermit took a sip of his Luptone.
"Well yes." He replied. "Yes I am."
===
Wile E Coyote's Opinion has increased by 5 (Trap Aficionado)
The DC of Trap Your Headquarters has fallen by 10!
Look through ACME's records has changed to Look through subsidiary records!
You've gotten a vague idea of what Wile's Personals might do! (We'll be changing other personals next turn to give you vague ideas of what they do too, but it'll be even vaguer than this.)
Mezmerella's (and only Mezmerella's) Working With Mirage opinion penalty has been removed. Mezmerella would gain 5 Loyalty, but is holding it hostage until she gets to do a sufficiently supervillainy action.
The Blot has stolen your Odd Object! He demands Russ take action to track it down! If you do not send Russ to reclaim it within 2 turns, he claims he will alert its 'original owners', whomever that may be.
Agent Russ has returned to your Hero Units list.
Agent Russ has gained 4 Occult!
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- Location
- California,USA
Welcome home agent.
Woo!
…slightly less woo but I think we can spare the action.
- Location
- Florida
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Well, looks like there's at least a soft confirmation that Blot has at least dabbled in the Doofanian Underworld.
- Location
- USA
We should do this.
Sending Russ to fight Blot also could lead to Blot being willing to collab against Doom, so if we already want to try to build a relation with Blot to reach that point, might as well do this within the next two turns to get the artifact back at the same time.
Also, to the consequences of whomever the original owners are finding out about it.
In other words... not trying to get it back will assuredly open another front!
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- Pronouns
- She/Her
Bwahahahhaahaahahhaaaa. I know this should have just been a funny, but I couldn't help it.
New Russ trait
Tumach
Majestic hat wearer
- Location
- a valid location
The Mistress of Mirage strikes again!
Also, I don't think the math works out. Was there only supposed to be a positive (this is hilarious) modifier? Because I actually really like it coming out to a net zero.
- Location
- Great Khanate of Scotland
- Pronouns
- She/Her
I'm glad we have Russ back, but gosh, Mezmerella was really the breakout star of this one.
BlueWerewolf25
The Dreamer
- Location
- Wouldn't You Like To Know?
- Pronouns
- He/His/Him
Welcome back, Agent Russ. Are you ready to resume your mission? 😎
Although I must say, between the Olympia Gala and this turn, Mez is really earning her keep and making herself lovable for the readers. Hats off to her.
Although I must say, between the Olympia Gala and this turn, Mez is really earning her keep and making herself lovable for the readers. Hats off to her.
>the note board car
>the latest chapter title
>Bugs and Daffy in Vegas
awww yeah, it's all coming together. Where's Brendon Fraser when you need him?
>the latest chapter title
>Bugs and Daffy in Vegas
awww yeah, it's all coming together. Where's Brendon Fraser when you need him?
- Location
- Pennsylvania
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
You're a showman Blot you don't do memory holes.
Don't call Mez that.
She has guns.
There's usually a line dash between the perspectives. I like Russ acknowledgment as the transition.
Guaranteed meals Blot!
Pulling on hammer-space while in a trance. I'm overthinking the joke.
Blot can touch the book?
Please throw the insulation in as a bonus.
Modus_Tollens
SCREAMING AT THE APOCALYPSE
- Location
- ALSO SCREAMING.
Blot... why, why aren't you the perspective character here? Truly, this is the villain... the nefarious, duplicitous, tenebrous tortfeasor of a miscreant who deserves to win the great game.
Or he would if that wouldn't bore the fuck out of him. Russ had better give him the fight of his life.
Or he would if that wouldn't bore the fuck out of him. Russ had better give him the fight of his life.
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- Pronouns
- He/Him
- Location
- USA
Could we get some clarification on the calculation for crit success / fail threshold for opposing rolls and combat?
We have this from the mechanics threadmark but the math doesn't seem to check out on a few of the rolls in the above interlude, so I just wanted to make sure.
100 - 94 = 6
100 - 6 + 1 = 95%
For example, this roll required a roll of 6 from Russ to beat Blot's 100 after his bonuses were considered. That's a CoS of 95% which should translate to a 10% crit success chance and 0% crit fail chance, making the threshold 91+/0-, instead of 95+/4-, but because that isn't the case it seems like there is another method to calculate the thresholds that is being used.
We have this from the mechanics threadmark but the math doesn't seem to check out on a few of the rolls in the above interlude, so I just wanted to make sure.
129-35 = 94
100 - 94 = 6
100 - 6 + 1 = 95%
For example, this roll required a roll of 6 from Russ to beat Blot's 100 after his bonuses were considered. That's a CoS of 95% which should translate to a 10% crit success chance and 0% crit fail chance, making the threshold 91+/0-, instead of 95+/4-, but because that isn't the case it seems like there is another method to calculate the thresholds that is being used.
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- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Literally this time. Hah
I don't think Mez is actually simping for Mirage (yet) but oh MAN I ship it.
He's not a human. Although that is odd, because our "Study Strange Object" action couldn't assign a human OR toon, and Blot's definitely a toon. Curious indeed.
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Okay, I can clearly tell when the QMs are taking a victory lap with a chapter, and congrats to you because you earned it, but this line? This was pure gold. The (+20 - 20) was an entirely brilliant way of using the medium to convey the joke. Top hats off to you.
She's holding the Loyalty gain hostage. I cannot help but like this woman, she gets my vote for Heroball leader.
Okay, credit where credit is due, @woweed when you said you did not think Blot would do anything big to us for a couple of turns, you were exactly right. Can we please just focus on fighting the Blot now?
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