- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
Given that Doof is, well, a mad scientist... while strictly that's true, realistically... we totally need to build a robot person if we want to do that.
Depends on exactly what we're trying to accomplish.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
I kind of want to build a doppelganger Doof just so that we can possibly have him able to go on quests.
- Location
- The Hub
Ah, so he'd be an option of we still don't have a functional Coven by that point.Man. Robo Elvis might even be an answer for Frank Sinatra's Tommy gun and Mob connections with his karate skills and possible connection to mystic martial arts in this world
That or a Diplomacy Heroball
Last edited:
- Location
- The Hub
Well, of course I know him, he's me.
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
I'M BACK, BABY!!!
DoofQuest Elseworlds: Heroes United -- A DVV: Gridlocked-based CK2-style Quest
Take on the role of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz in a massive Disney crossover setting as he's just starting out... only this time, he's working with the good guys!
forums.sufficientvelocity.com
- Location
- USA
Re-watching Monster's Inc
I wonder if taking the action to investigate Bigfoot in Oregon is actually a way to discover the monster masquerade and prevent children from being kidnapped?
I wonder if taking the action to investigate Bigfoot in Oregon is actually a way to discover the monster masquerade and prevent children from being kidnapped?
So far this quest has been hilarious from min one. Things are going super great for us lately so I hope we can turn it around in future roles.
Also, could anyone recommend some more quests or stories like this? It doesn't necessarily have to be another Disney quest or even a Victorious Villains quest...just something where we play as a Hero/Villain in a big combined universe.
Also, could anyone recommend some more quests or stories like this? It doesn't necessarily have to be another Disney quest or even a Victorious Villains quest...just something where we play as a Hero/Villain in a big combined universe.
mangawriter77
Otaku^9000 (In my own opinion)
- Location
- You'll neeever guess
- Pronouns
- He/Him/His
Well, I made one. It's a spin-off of this, but it's a lot more heroic. I left the link a few posts up. Also, there's a Prince Ali Quest where you play as Aladdin in Classic DVV. I'll post the link below.
Prince Aladdin Quest (Disney Villains *Almost* Victorious) Crossover - Fantasy
Welcome to Prince Aladdin Quest! Aka, Aladdin's Wish never got undone, as Jafar was merely a sorcerer when he "changed Aladdin back". NOT a Genie. Meaning, Aladdin's got money, he's got power, he's got 53 Purple Peacocks, to say the least. Aladdin is, of course, the MC. He’s got a genuinely...
forums.sufficientvelocity.com
- Pronouns
- Female
Anyone Else think an AU Omake where everything is styled after "The Office" could be funny?
- Location
- Germany
Another one would be this:
DoofQuest Elseworlds: Heroes United -- A DVV: Gridlocked-based CK2-style Quest
Take on the role of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz in a massive Disney crossover setting as he's just starting out... only this time, he's working with the good guys!
forums.sufficientvelocity.com
Essentially a spin-off/sorta-sequel to a BadEnd for this one, where Doof gets forewarned of big threats like Bill just after he arrived in the USA and instead decides to be a Hero
- Location
- The City of Tears, Hallownest
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Manga was referring to that one already, in their post.Another one would be this:
DoofQuest Elseworlds: Heroes United -- A DVV: Gridlocked-based CK2-style Quest
Take on the role of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz in a massive Disney crossover setting as he's just starting out... only this time, he's working with the good guys!forums.sufficientvelocity.com
Essentially a spin-off/sorta-sequel to a BadEnd for this one, where Doof gets forewarned of big threats like Bill just after he arrived in the USA and instead decides to be a Hero
Well, I made one. It's a spin-off of this, but it's a lot more heroic. I left the link a few posts up. Also, there's a Prince Ali Quest where you play as Aladdin in Classic DVV. I'll post the link below.
Prince Aladdin Quest (Disney Villains *Almost* Victorious) Crossover - Fantasy
Welcome to Prince Aladdin Quest! Aka, Aladdin's Wish never got undone, as Jafar was merely a sorcerer when he "changed Aladdin back". NOT a Genie. Meaning, Aladdin's got money, he's got power, he's got 53 Purple Peacocks, to say the least. Aladdin is, of course, the MC. He’s got a genuinely...forums.sufficientvelocity.com
I'M BACK, BABY!!!
DoofQuest Elseworlds: Heroes United -- A DVV: Gridlocked-based CK2-style Quest
Take on the role of Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz in a massive Disney crossover setting as he's just starting out... only this time, he's working with the good guys!forums.sufficientvelocity.com
Interlude: Family Finding
- Location
- Pennsylvania
It all began with a simple suggestion from their therapist. Work for the pharmacist, he said. It'll be fun, he promised. When the exceedingly eccentric Dr. Doofenshmirtz had approached her with a proposal, Olivia was hoping for the moon.
Being asked to interrogate an illiterate man who looked like he hadn't showered in three decades was not at all what she was expecting. It had been years since she traveled to Florida though, so she was going to make the most out of this assignment. Perhaps all mentions of a 'homeless man' (which is what she could only assume 'hatless' was supposed to be) could be replaced by 'whistleblowing CEO', and 'strange happenings' with 'classified military secrets'. That ought to intrigue her husband enough to follow her across state lines. If nothing else, a letter from 'Mr. Valentine' was sure to get his attention. Hopefully a little added danger would keep things interesting enough to make things worth her while.
Over the last several years, Florida had seen a sharp decline in tourism, and Olivia wasn't certain why. Message boards like So Weird theorized about everything from aliens to secret subterranean societies, but she was a bit more skeptical than most. Superpowers could account for a lot, and when those didn't fit the bill there was always the possibility of 'magic' to consider. Her Sentinel hummed as she pulled off the interstate and double-checked her GPS for directions to a small town called 'Celebration'.
A bit on the nose, if you asked her. The place was a picturesque view of Americana, right down to the white picket fences and perfectly mown lawns. Husbands trimmed the hedges as wives sipped on iced tea, keeping a watchful eye on their children playing tag. Even the fashion sense seemed antiquated, and this coming from a woman in a mink shawl. Well, no matter. If there was one thing she could do, it was remain undetected.
Living with six detectives helped with that.
Olivia spent the next six hours 'bumbling' around the city, taking every care to appear as if she were the most clueless tourist to ever step off of a plane. Everyone she met was nothing but helpful and courteous, pointing out local landmarks and extolling the virtue of their civic community.
It creeped her out a lot.
People did not act like this. People had foibles and neighborly feuds and idle rivalries that could be inflamed into horrific crimes. Everyone here was perfect. Everyone got along. Everyone worked together.
And the hats!
Bowlers. Derbies. Porkpies. Even a few Stetsons. She understood the Suncoast had differing fashion sense, and she herself was rather fond of the top hat that formed the center of her 'Mr. Valentine' persona, but this was verging on the uncanny. It had gotten so bad she'd needed to resort to simply leaving riddles around for her family to follow. She hadn't resorted to riddles for two decades now, but there was simply not a single delinquent teenager or repressed housewife in sight. She hadn't been able to arrange so much as a grand theft auto!
The longer she was here, the more she became convinced something was terribly wrong. But ultimately, that was not why she was here. Leave her family to the investigating. She'd caught her son snooping around the performing arts center at least once, which meant the rest of them were unquestionably on the case. The sooner she finished the actual purpose she had come here for, the sooner she could lead her family somewhere she might actually be able to hold their interest.
Olivia was unable to conceal a grimace as she came up on the next place on her tour. Apparently the homeless man was only willing to meet at the local 'Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree', which made her teeth crawl from the name alone. She pulled her black cloak closer around herself, not wishing to be seen here for more reasons than one. The first appearance of the cheezy entertainment restaurant did nothing to dissuade these feelings, nor did the lanky, unwashed man sitting next to what she could only assume was 'Hoo-Ha the Owl' himself.
The man looked like he was in his late thirties or so, wrapped in a tattered black shawl and other rags that she couldn't determine the original color of. He was balding, save for a greasy curl of hair that wrapped around his shockingly pointy head and the utterly ridiculous mustache that even Baron von Steamer would've said was too much.
"Ooh! Ooh! Over here!" he waved as soon as she had crossed the threshold. After a moment he seemed to blink in sudden realization, and lifted a newspaper up over his face. Then he peeked around the paper in the most blatant attempt at subterfuge she had ever seen, and stage whispered 'Oooh! Ooh! Over here!" As a confused wait staff looked on.
Olivia had to resist the urge to cradle her face in her hand. It had been years since she last felt that urge.
With a look of disdain at the plastic ball pit barely concealed by her heart-shaped mask, Olivia took a seat in the booth across from the homeless man. She silently prayed that the waitstaff wouldn't force her to order anything, or failing that they would at least take off the absurd themed outfits, complete with overalls and hats.
"Did you come alone?" The man whispered, again at the top of his lungs. In a single rapid movement he lowered and then lifted the newspaper to get a look at her. "Ah, you did! Good!"
Olivia's notes had said that this man was 'a real creeper' and 'worth noting only for how obnoxious he was'.
She had her man, then. "Mister…" she began, hoping to whatever deity was listening that she could keep things professional.
"Yagoobian! But don't call me Goob! Instead, I have concocted the most brilliant alias imaginable for myself! I am…" he raised one arm to conceal the lower half of his face with the tattered cloak, raising and lowering his eyebrows as if he were about to impart true wisdom. "The Hatless Man!"
Any hopes of professionalism died a swift death. "Mister Yagoobian. I understand that you have some information concerning recent happenings in the area."
"Oh yes, yes! You've come not a second too late!" the man said. "I have revelations that will shake the very fabric of what you think to be the world's nature!"
"Mmm hmm." Olivia replied. "And what is that?"
Yagoobian glanced around conspiratorially. "You can't be too careful. The waitresses have ears. I shall have to inform you in a fiendish code of my own devising, which I can only hope you will be able to comprehend."
Olivia waited unexpectantly.
"The at-hays are evil-bay."
Olivia immediately began planning how she intended to leave. Thankfully, if she knew her family, and she did, then they would soon be arriving at the diner having followed her trail of investigatory breadcrumbs. With any luck she could foist this ingrate upon them and be done with the whole mess. For now, she simply needed to push through.
"I'm afraid I… don't exactly know what you mean."
"The hats woman, the hats!" Yagoobian cried. "Ah! I mean at-hays! They trick you. Deceive you. Control you. Get inside your mind! ...ay!"
Olivia was about to stand up and leave, biting back a remark on how much of a waste this entire ordeal was when she actually stopped to consider the man's words. On the surface, they seemed ludicrous… but she had seen stranger. ENCOM and Drakktech had collaborated on a machine that practically sent your mind into a video game. There were all sorts of capes known for mind control the world over. Was it really that inconceivable that a hat could get inside one's mind?
Blast. She was never going to allow this onto So Weird or that one idiot would be gloating for weeks.
Intrigue Check: ???
DC 60
25+34=59
Bare Failure
Olivia frowned at the realization that her husband was still not there yet. It was rather unlike him to be this impunctual for a job. The riddles she had left behind were child's play at best, getting caught up on one of those would be humiliating for anyone.
Yagoobian kept rambling in his horrible bastardization of pig latin about how the 'hats were evil' and a certain 'Doris' had misled him, but Olivia was only half paying attention. She got the gist of the argument and was sure she could pick up the rest from context. Now, where was her husband? Ten minutes late would've been something to gloat about, half an hour merited a raised eyebrow, but this?
"And at-thay is why it is all Lewis' ault-fay! But before I enter chapter two of the Reasons I Hate That Boy, I need to-"
"Mr. Yagoobian, I thank you for your time. However I find myself late for a secondary appointment. I'm sure we'll be in touch if you would like to-"
"Ooh! Let me come with you!" The odious man begged, leaping up and spilling his half-eaten Pipsqueak Pizza Platter over the floor. "We could work together! I have experience! I can't pay for my meal so I was just going to skip out anyway."
Olivia sighed from behind her mask. "Oh, very well. I suppose I could make use of someone who knows the area. It seems I must track down my family if I am to-"
"Wait." the greasy man once again interrupted. "You lost track of someone? Here? Recently? Like, within the last few hours?"
"Yes?"
A look of fear crossed the repugnant gremlin's face. "We need to hurry!"
Despite the man's pathetic nature, his declaration struck a note of unease in Olivia's mind. She rose slowly, prepared to slink out of the restaurant without further delay, until-
"Excuse me ma'am." The waitress said quietly. "I hope you're not leaving. You haven't… even… ordered… yet.
Olivia blinked; this was the first time the wait staff had approached her. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid something urgent has come up. I need to be going."
The waitress blocked the door. "I'm sorry." She said tonelessly. "I really must insist you… stay."
"That simply isn't possible." Olivia replied. "Move, or I'll be forced to-"
Martial Check: Fight the Waitstaff
DC 50
37+23=60
Success
The punch came out of nowhere, but it was gangly, uncoordinated. Olivia dodged it with little trouble, shoving the woman aside and pushing past her before her conscious mind even processed what had happened.
"Come on!" the slimy man hollered as he burst out of the place in a splay of flailing limbs. "They won't risk anything in public, they use this town for tourists."
"What was that?!?"
"The hats woman, the hats!" He replied. "How many times must I tell you?"
Olivia's instincts went into automatic, willing herself to get lost in the rows of identical houses. Fences were jumped, routes crossed and false trails laid. She had to stop herself from removing her costume, realizing at the last second her odds of disguising the distinctive mess beside her were basically nonexistent.
Yagoobian's attempts to follow were painfully uncoordinated. The gangly wastrel tripped over trash cans, stumbled through shrubs, and got tangled up in dog leashes as he attempted to follow, each slip-up only gathering more and more attention.
She would have time to understand her circumstances later. Where would her husband be now?
Olilvia began to work backwards through her clues. The defaced billboard- untouched. The suspicious mailbox- unrifled through. The plant…
Ah! The capsule she had left hanging in the oak tree had been taken down and opened. He'd been here, now she…
A deep foreboding washed over her.
There was a haberdasher across the street.
---
The Commodore was almost certain something was wrong.
If it wasn't the unrealistically functional family dynamics on display everywhere he looked, if it wasn't the bucolic atmosphere that should have existed only in the Case of the Caper Case Caper, if it wasn't the polite and helpful waitstaff who appeared to be enjoying their jobs, it was the fact that his sister hadn't said a word to him in over half an hour.
He liked to think that he had a perfectly functional relationship with his older sister. Certainly better than most of his family. There had been some tension before, but what family didn't have that? She was a trusted member of the Dickens Detective Agency that he was always willing to listen to… but she had refused to provide any explanation at all for why she was so certain she knew where his wayward wife was.
"I fail to see how this has any relevance to 'Mr. Valentine's' last clue, sister." the Commodore declared. "She was clearly building up to that horrid looking pizza shop."
Olivia's clues were sloppy, amateurish, and almost certainly deliberately so. On any other occasion this would've merited a response about how she was scraping the bottom of the barrel, or perhaps a quip about resorting to the Sunday funnies for content.
"Hey, relax." Butch replied, putting a supportive hand on his wife's much lower shoulder. "She's been in this game as long as you have, man. She knows what she's doing." Again, she did not react. That bothered the Commodore even more. Regardless of his own opinions on his sister's relationship, the two of them were inseparable and unceasingly affectionate. He could see Ling-Ling hovering around her adoptive parents, clearly also concerned by her mother's increasingly out of character behavior.
"Just a little further." Charlotte said in a low, toneless voice.
"Sister… did you get enough sleep on the way here? Still jetlagged?" the Commodore asked as the granny of the Dickens family led them towards the narrow alleys of Celebration's town center. "Perhaps you could use a pick me up?"
She did not respond. Now even Max was beginning to notice something was wrong, though young Rudyard was as clueless as ever. The Commodore thought back. This had begun… shortly after his sister had insisted they stop for her to acquire some local fashion. How that related he had yet to-
"Stop!"
The Commodore frowned at what appeared to be a noisome balding man in a tattered black cape racing down the street. "Stop! Wait, she's not stopping. I'll… I'll have to stop her then, yes! Yes! I'll stop you!"
The Commodore watched in moderate to severe confusion as the roynish fellow charged towards his sister at what might be described as a gallop if it did not threaten to collapse in on itself with every passing moment
Goob Martial Check: Remove the hat!
48+2=50
Charlotte Martial Contest
76+34-10(head on)=100
Critical Failure!
As expected, the froward man is on the ground within seconds as your sister's four consecutive black belts make their value known and dislocate several noteworthy bones. She may not be yelling her traditional battlecries, but it is good to know your sister still has the basics down.
The Commodore leaned down to examine the mephitic man. "Alright, I will admit I am curious. What was that about?"
"The hats…" The misasmic figure groaned.
"Aha! So the haberdasher did have something to do with it! Tell me more, my good man!"
"The hats…" he repeated, panic beginning to take a rising presence compared to his previous daze.
"Yes yes, what about them?"
"The hats!"
Martial Check: The Hats
20+20+34-10=64
Dickens Contest:
78+25=103
Failure!
Suddenly, the air was filled with headwear.
A swarm of hats, many black bowlers but a few a range of stetsons, porkpies and the like, descended on his family. They proved easy enough to swat away, but what truly shook the man was the roundhouse kick his own sister suddenly aimed at his head!
"Charlotte?!?"
Another pair of footsteps raced down the street and he turned to see Mr. Valentine- his wife- running down the street at full tilt, somehow still looking elegant in the process.
"What is going on!?!" The Commodore roared.
"Later!" Olivia cried. Her single visible eye was open in shock, yet she wasted no time in rushing to her family's aid.
Martial Check:
28+23+25=76
Hat Contest:
4+20+34-10=48
Great Success!
The Family worked as one, holding off the swarm while Butch grabbed onto his wife, holding the extremely violent but thankfully tiny matron in his grasp.
Martial Check: The Hats
48+20+34-10=92
Dickens Contest:
91+25+23=138
Failure
Without its primary source of pressure the swarm began to waver, small forms and grasping claws unable to maintain a hold on an aware target.
Martial Check:
77+23+25=125
Hat Contest:
22+20+34-10=66
Great Success!
With visible effort Olivia tore through the swarm, fighting her way to Butch and, with a single firm pull, removing the hat from Charlotte's head.
Charlotte blinked, a look of confusion passing over her. "Ohhh, I have such a headache dears. ...Sweetie, why do you have me in a Camel Clutch?"
The hat swarm dispersed instantly, scattering around the alley's edges and disappearing as quickly as they came.
"What the hell was that?!?" the Commodore's son Max demanded.
The Commodore looked at his wife. "You saved us."
"You're my husband." She replied after a moment.
"Did.. did we win?" Goob asked from the ground. "We won, didn't we? Yes, I won! I won!" He declared, completely ruining any passing moment.
"You know more about these things?" Olivia sighed.
"Yes! Oh yes! They had captured my mind and body, but I discovered a means of cunning escape!"
---
A newly hatted Goob stumbled around a foundry yard, his controller hat struggling to eke anything useful out of his form. Then, there was a sudden snap, and before anyone could react the arm of a standing crane smashed into Goob, knocking the hat off of his head and sending him careening down an enormous scrap heap.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
---
"I was brilliant. And I will tell you all that I know."
"Then… I suppose we'll need to take him with us." The Commodore said doubtfully as he gazed upon the ronyon that was the man below him.
"Will… will somebody please pick me up?" The still very in pain Goob said.
---
You have gained a basic understanding that the hat craze in the southeast hides a sinister mind-controlling secret! You're not quite sure as to the extent of it, or who's behind it, but you're going to feel a lot more suspicious of headwear from now on.
'Interrogate Michael Yagoobian' action unlocked!
Goob did not become a hero unit! (Thank god.)
Being asked to interrogate an illiterate man who looked like he hadn't showered in three decades was not at all what she was expecting. It had been years since she traveled to Florida though, so she was going to make the most out of this assignment. Perhaps all mentions of a 'homeless man' (which is what she could only assume 'hatless' was supposed to be) could be replaced by 'whistleblowing CEO', and 'strange happenings' with 'classified military secrets'. That ought to intrigue her husband enough to follow her across state lines. If nothing else, a letter from 'Mr. Valentine' was sure to get his attention. Hopefully a little added danger would keep things interesting enough to make things worth her while.
Over the last several years, Florida had seen a sharp decline in tourism, and Olivia wasn't certain why. Message boards like So Weird theorized about everything from aliens to secret subterranean societies, but she was a bit more skeptical than most. Superpowers could account for a lot, and when those didn't fit the bill there was always the possibility of 'magic' to consider. Her Sentinel hummed as she pulled off the interstate and double-checked her GPS for directions to a small town called 'Celebration'.
A bit on the nose, if you asked her. The place was a picturesque view of Americana, right down to the white picket fences and perfectly mown lawns. Husbands trimmed the hedges as wives sipped on iced tea, keeping a watchful eye on their children playing tag. Even the fashion sense seemed antiquated, and this coming from a woman in a mink shawl. Well, no matter. If there was one thing she could do, it was remain undetected.
Living with six detectives helped with that.
Olivia spent the next six hours 'bumbling' around the city, taking every care to appear as if she were the most clueless tourist to ever step off of a plane. Everyone she met was nothing but helpful and courteous, pointing out local landmarks and extolling the virtue of their civic community.
It creeped her out a lot.
People did not act like this. People had foibles and neighborly feuds and idle rivalries that could be inflamed into horrific crimes. Everyone here was perfect. Everyone got along. Everyone worked together.
And the hats!
Bowlers. Derbies. Porkpies. Even a few Stetsons. She understood the Suncoast had differing fashion sense, and she herself was rather fond of the top hat that formed the center of her 'Mr. Valentine' persona, but this was verging on the uncanny. It had gotten so bad she'd needed to resort to simply leaving riddles around for her family to follow. She hadn't resorted to riddles for two decades now, but there was simply not a single delinquent teenager or repressed housewife in sight. She hadn't been able to arrange so much as a grand theft auto!
The longer she was here, the more she became convinced something was terribly wrong. But ultimately, that was not why she was here. Leave her family to the investigating. She'd caught her son snooping around the performing arts center at least once, which meant the rest of them were unquestionably on the case. The sooner she finished the actual purpose she had come here for, the sooner she could lead her family somewhere she might actually be able to hold their interest.
Olivia was unable to conceal a grimace as she came up on the next place on her tour. Apparently the homeless man was only willing to meet at the local 'Hoo-Ha Owl's Pizzamatronic Jamboree', which made her teeth crawl from the name alone. She pulled her black cloak closer around herself, not wishing to be seen here for more reasons than one. The first appearance of the cheezy entertainment restaurant did nothing to dissuade these feelings, nor did the lanky, unwashed man sitting next to what she could only assume was 'Hoo-Ha the Owl' himself.
The man looked like he was in his late thirties or so, wrapped in a tattered black shawl and other rags that she couldn't determine the original color of. He was balding, save for a greasy curl of hair that wrapped around his shockingly pointy head and the utterly ridiculous mustache that even Baron von Steamer would've said was too much.
"Ooh! Ooh! Over here!" he waved as soon as she had crossed the threshold. After a moment he seemed to blink in sudden realization, and lifted a newspaper up over his face. Then he peeked around the paper in the most blatant attempt at subterfuge she had ever seen, and stage whispered 'Oooh! Ooh! Over here!" As a confused wait staff looked on.
Olivia had to resist the urge to cradle her face in her hand. It had been years since she last felt that urge.
With a look of disdain at the plastic ball pit barely concealed by her heart-shaped mask, Olivia took a seat in the booth across from the homeless man. She silently prayed that the waitstaff wouldn't force her to order anything, or failing that they would at least take off the absurd themed outfits, complete with overalls and hats.
"Did you come alone?" The man whispered, again at the top of his lungs. In a single rapid movement he lowered and then lifted the newspaper to get a look at her. "Ah, you did! Good!"
Olivia's notes had said that this man was 'a real creeper' and 'worth noting only for how obnoxious he was'.
She had her man, then. "Mister…" she began, hoping to whatever deity was listening that she could keep things professional.
"Yagoobian! But don't call me Goob! Instead, I have concocted the most brilliant alias imaginable for myself! I am…" he raised one arm to conceal the lower half of his face with the tattered cloak, raising and lowering his eyebrows as if he were about to impart true wisdom. "The Hatless Man!"
Any hopes of professionalism died a swift death. "Mister Yagoobian. I understand that you have some information concerning recent happenings in the area."
"Oh yes, yes! You've come not a second too late!" the man said. "I have revelations that will shake the very fabric of what you think to be the world's nature!"
"Mmm hmm." Olivia replied. "And what is that?"
Yagoobian glanced around conspiratorially. "You can't be too careful. The waitresses have ears. I shall have to inform you in a fiendish code of my own devising, which I can only hope you will be able to comprehend."
Olivia waited unexpectantly.
"The at-hays are evil-bay."
Olivia immediately began planning how she intended to leave. Thankfully, if she knew her family, and she did, then they would soon be arriving at the diner having followed her trail of investigatory breadcrumbs. With any luck she could foist this ingrate upon them and be done with the whole mess. For now, she simply needed to push through.
"I'm afraid I… don't exactly know what you mean."
"The hats woman, the hats!" Yagoobian cried. "Ah! I mean at-hays! They trick you. Deceive you. Control you. Get inside your mind! ...ay!"
Olivia was about to stand up and leave, biting back a remark on how much of a waste this entire ordeal was when she actually stopped to consider the man's words. On the surface, they seemed ludicrous… but she had seen stranger. ENCOM and Drakktech had collaborated on a machine that practically sent your mind into a video game. There were all sorts of capes known for mind control the world over. Was it really that inconceivable that a hat could get inside one's mind?
Blast. She was never going to allow this onto So Weird or that one idiot would be gloating for weeks.
Intrigue Check: ???
DC 60
25+34=59
Bare Failure
Olivia frowned at the realization that her husband was still not there yet. It was rather unlike him to be this impunctual for a job. The riddles she had left behind were child's play at best, getting caught up on one of those would be humiliating for anyone.
Yagoobian kept rambling in his horrible bastardization of pig latin about how the 'hats were evil' and a certain 'Doris' had misled him, but Olivia was only half paying attention. She got the gist of the argument and was sure she could pick up the rest from context. Now, where was her husband? Ten minutes late would've been something to gloat about, half an hour merited a raised eyebrow, but this?
"And at-thay is why it is all Lewis' ault-fay! But before I enter chapter two of the Reasons I Hate That Boy, I need to-"
"Mr. Yagoobian, I thank you for your time. However I find myself late for a secondary appointment. I'm sure we'll be in touch if you would like to-"
"Ooh! Let me come with you!" The odious man begged, leaping up and spilling his half-eaten Pipsqueak Pizza Platter over the floor. "We could work together! I have experience! I can't pay for my meal so I was just going to skip out anyway."
Olivia sighed from behind her mask. "Oh, very well. I suppose I could make use of someone who knows the area. It seems I must track down my family if I am to-"
"Wait." the greasy man once again interrupted. "You lost track of someone? Here? Recently? Like, within the last few hours?"
"Yes?"
A look of fear crossed the repugnant gremlin's face. "We need to hurry!"
Despite the man's pathetic nature, his declaration struck a note of unease in Olivia's mind. She rose slowly, prepared to slink out of the restaurant without further delay, until-
"Excuse me ma'am." The waitress said quietly. "I hope you're not leaving. You haven't… even… ordered… yet.
Olivia blinked; this was the first time the wait staff had approached her. "I'm sorry, but I'm afraid something urgent has come up. I need to be going."
The waitress blocked the door. "I'm sorry." She said tonelessly. "I really must insist you… stay."
"That simply isn't possible." Olivia replied. "Move, or I'll be forced to-"
Martial Check: Fight the Waitstaff
DC 50
37+23=60
Success
The punch came out of nowhere, but it was gangly, uncoordinated. Olivia dodged it with little trouble, shoving the woman aside and pushing past her before her conscious mind even processed what had happened.
"Come on!" the slimy man hollered as he burst out of the place in a splay of flailing limbs. "They won't risk anything in public, they use this town for tourists."
"What was that?!?"
"The hats woman, the hats!" He replied. "How many times must I tell you?"
Olivia's instincts went into automatic, willing herself to get lost in the rows of identical houses. Fences were jumped, routes crossed and false trails laid. She had to stop herself from removing her costume, realizing at the last second her odds of disguising the distinctive mess beside her were basically nonexistent.
Yagoobian's attempts to follow were painfully uncoordinated. The gangly wastrel tripped over trash cans, stumbled through shrubs, and got tangled up in dog leashes as he attempted to follow, each slip-up only gathering more and more attention.
She would have time to understand her circumstances later. Where would her husband be now?
Olilvia began to work backwards through her clues. The defaced billboard- untouched. The suspicious mailbox- unrifled through. The plant…
Ah! The capsule she had left hanging in the oak tree had been taken down and opened. He'd been here, now she…
A deep foreboding washed over her.
There was a haberdasher across the street.
---
The Commodore was almost certain something was wrong.
If it wasn't the unrealistically functional family dynamics on display everywhere he looked, if it wasn't the bucolic atmosphere that should have existed only in the Case of the Caper Case Caper, if it wasn't the polite and helpful waitstaff who appeared to be enjoying their jobs, it was the fact that his sister hadn't said a word to him in over half an hour.
He liked to think that he had a perfectly functional relationship with his older sister. Certainly better than most of his family. There had been some tension before, but what family didn't have that? She was a trusted member of the Dickens Detective Agency that he was always willing to listen to… but she had refused to provide any explanation at all for why she was so certain she knew where his wayward wife was.
"I fail to see how this has any relevance to 'Mr. Valentine's' last clue, sister." the Commodore declared. "She was clearly building up to that horrid looking pizza shop."
Olivia's clues were sloppy, amateurish, and almost certainly deliberately so. On any other occasion this would've merited a response about how she was scraping the bottom of the barrel, or perhaps a quip about resorting to the Sunday funnies for content.
"Hey, relax." Butch replied, putting a supportive hand on his wife's much lower shoulder. "She's been in this game as long as you have, man. She knows what she's doing." Again, she did not react. That bothered the Commodore even more. Regardless of his own opinions on his sister's relationship, the two of them were inseparable and unceasingly affectionate. He could see Ling-Ling hovering around her adoptive parents, clearly also concerned by her mother's increasingly out of character behavior.
"Just a little further." Charlotte said in a low, toneless voice.
"Sister… did you get enough sleep on the way here? Still jetlagged?" the Commodore asked as the granny of the Dickens family led them towards the narrow alleys of Celebration's town center. "Perhaps you could use a pick me up?"
She did not respond. Now even Max was beginning to notice something was wrong, though young Rudyard was as clueless as ever. The Commodore thought back. This had begun… shortly after his sister had insisted they stop for her to acquire some local fashion. How that related he had yet to-
"Stop!"
The Commodore frowned at what appeared to be a noisome balding man in a tattered black cape racing down the street. "Stop! Wait, she's not stopping. I'll… I'll have to stop her then, yes! Yes! I'll stop you!"
The Commodore watched in moderate to severe confusion as the roynish fellow charged towards his sister at what might be described as a gallop if it did not threaten to collapse in on itself with every passing moment
Goob Martial Check: Remove the hat!
48+2=50
Charlotte Martial Contest
76+34-10(head on)=100
Critical Failure!
As expected, the froward man is on the ground within seconds as your sister's four consecutive black belts make their value known and dislocate several noteworthy bones. She may not be yelling her traditional battlecries, but it is good to know your sister still has the basics down.
The Commodore leaned down to examine the mephitic man. "Alright, I will admit I am curious. What was that about?"
"The hats…" The misasmic figure groaned.
"Aha! So the haberdasher did have something to do with it! Tell me more, my good man!"
"The hats…" he repeated, panic beginning to take a rising presence compared to his previous daze.
"Yes yes, what about them?"
"The hats!"
Martial Check: The Hats
20+20+34-10=64
Dickens Contest:
78+25=103
Failure!
Suddenly, the air was filled with headwear.
A swarm of hats, many black bowlers but a few a range of stetsons, porkpies and the like, descended on his family. They proved easy enough to swat away, but what truly shook the man was the roundhouse kick his own sister suddenly aimed at his head!
"Charlotte?!?"
Another pair of footsteps raced down the street and he turned to see Mr. Valentine- his wife- running down the street at full tilt, somehow still looking elegant in the process.
"What is going on!?!" The Commodore roared.
"Later!" Olivia cried. Her single visible eye was open in shock, yet she wasted no time in rushing to her family's aid.
Martial Check:
28+23+25=76
Hat Contest:
4+20+34-10=48
Great Success!
The Family worked as one, holding off the swarm while Butch grabbed onto his wife, holding the extremely violent but thankfully tiny matron in his grasp.
Martial Check: The Hats
48+20+34-10=92
Dickens Contest:
91+25+23=138
Failure
Without its primary source of pressure the swarm began to waver, small forms and grasping claws unable to maintain a hold on an aware target.
Martial Check:
77+23+25=125
Hat Contest:
22+20+34-10=66
Great Success!
With visible effort Olivia tore through the swarm, fighting her way to Butch and, with a single firm pull, removing the hat from Charlotte's head.
Charlotte blinked, a look of confusion passing over her. "Ohhh, I have such a headache dears. ...Sweetie, why do you have me in a Camel Clutch?"
The hat swarm dispersed instantly, scattering around the alley's edges and disappearing as quickly as they came.
"What the hell was that?!?" the Commodore's son Max demanded.
The Commodore looked at his wife. "You saved us."
"You're my husband." She replied after a moment.
"Did.. did we win?" Goob asked from the ground. "We won, didn't we? Yes, I won! I won!" He declared, completely ruining any passing moment.
"You know more about these things?" Olivia sighed.
"Yes! Oh yes! They had captured my mind and body, but I discovered a means of cunning escape!"
---
A newly hatted Goob stumbled around a foundry yard, his controller hat struggling to eke anything useful out of his form. Then, there was a sudden snap, and before anyone could react the arm of a standing crane smashed into Goob, knocking the hat off of his head and sending him careening down an enormous scrap heap.
"Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!"
---
"I was brilliant. And I will tell you all that I know."
"Then… I suppose we'll need to take him with us." The Commodore said doubtfully as he gazed upon the ronyon that was the man below him.
"Will… will somebody please pick me up?" The still very in pain Goob said.
---
You have gained a basic understanding that the hat craze in the southeast hides a sinister mind-controlling secret! You're not quite sure as to the extent of it, or who's behind it, but you're going to feel a lot more suspicious of headwear from now on.
'Interrogate Michael Yagoobian' action unlocked!
Martial: 2 (Goob is malnourished and never got in a serious scrap in his life.)
Diplomacy: -7 (Goob is deeply, exceedingly unpleasant to be around.)
Stewardship: 0 (Goob flunked out of the third grade.)
Intrigue: 4 (Goob, technically, has a general idea of how to sneak around and stuff.)
Learning: 1 (Goob is mostly illiterate.)
Diplomacy: -7 (Goob is deeply, exceedingly unpleasant to be around.)
Stewardship: 0 (Goob flunked out of the third grade.)
Intrigue: 4 (Goob, technically, has a general idea of how to sneak around and stuff.)
Learning: 1 (Goob is mostly illiterate.)
Goob did not become a hero unit! (Thank god.)
Stratagemini
Totally a Fire Ferret.
- Location
- Central Park
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
Oh, thank god! That would have been... bad.
- Pronouns
- Female
Wow, Goob really sucks XD
The Froggy Ninja
The Blade Will Never Die
Most of the reality altering and time traveling threats are too busy fighting each other to proper conquer the world. The hats only made the industrial Hellscape after tricking everyone into wearing them.
Lord Ultimus
Beautiful...
- Location
- Undisclosed Warehouse
Probably when most of the population is Hat-wearing zombies.
EDIT: Tobe'd
- Pronouns
- Female
Other than rampant unpopularity, anything in particular stopping Billy Dilley's Super-Duper Subterranean Summer - Wikipedia from being used in this Quest? Mainly ask for the sake of an Omake.
- Location
- Washington
Oh hey! Disney's attempt at making town that was so creepy that an immigrant from Cuba hightailed it out of there because its atmosphere reminded them too much of Communist Cuba. Seems a fitting place to set all this action, really.
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
This is going to induce a loyalty malus for anyone except Technor. And even then...
- Location
- Canada
well we knew it would be bad down there, but god damn.
Hat have gone to work, yet another thing that probably should be dealt with before it gets to big.... how many is that now?
Hat have gone to work, yet another thing that probably should be dealt with before it gets to big.... how many is that now?