- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
Just have Roddy plan a company retreat for him.
DoofQuest- a Disney Villains Victorious CK2-Style Quest
- Thread starter Made in Heaven
- Start date
- Crossover
Lab_Accident
A 2D 1D4
- Location
- Your dreams
Poor guy is never gonna live that one down.
Interlude: Return to Sender
- Location
- Pennsylvania
--[x][Martial] Copyright Collection (Norm Prime) (76% w/ XP)
DC 70 (Reduced by XP)
20+20+38+3-2=79
Bare Success
Cap'n Laser considered himself a simple man. He had a gimmick and he stuck to it. Unlike some supervillains who were looking to put their names in the national headlines, he would've been perfectly content to keep holding up office buildings.
With an office building.
When he received an offer for one thousand pounds of gold in return for burgling ENCOM atop his flying pirate building, he thought his dream had come true. The building wasn't expecting an outright assault; the plans he had been given were so accurate that all it took was a few minutes of work with his laser cutlass to retrieve the blueprints and run. With that he retired to a small Canadian Island to bury his ill gotten wealth, and possibly make a poorly-dramatized documentary about people searching for it.
Unfortunately, he had made one fatal error. While finalizing his deal, he had the poor sense to explain his vacation plans to a fellow supervillain. That was why now, he was-
"Hello!" Norm the robot man declared, once again flying up to the massive flying monolith's glass facade. "Will you please tell us where to get the Digitizer Data?"
"Yar! Begone ye mechanical menace!" the rather unimaginatively-named villain replied. The diminutive pirate wore an eyepatch and tricorn, but his peg leg was solidified hard light and his shoulder parrot shot laser beams. "I told ye, I gave ye all I had!"
"You promised a fully functional mystery box, Mr. Pirate!" Norm declared. "My father is: Very Angry! With you!"
"Carrrveat emptor, ye scrap heap! Now shove off before I-"
Captain Laser was cut off as a hail of gunfire shattered his window.
"When Father is cross, I utilize Weaponry!"
"Man the cannons!" Laser cried to his video-tronic pirate crew. "Blow him outta tha sky!"
"Your outdated equipment has little chance of penetrating my-"
Norm himself was cut off as a burst of light slammed into him and carried him off towards the ground.
"Heh heh." Laser chuckled. "An' they said laser cannonballs were a 'logical impossibility'. Feh. Hoist anchor lads!" The pirate dusted his hands. There was one problem he'd not have to deal with again soon.
---
"Greetings!" declared Norm the robot man.
"Wh- what are ye doin' back here?!"
"I am easy to assemble!" Norm replied. "Now kindly hand over the information I requested. Your product did not function as advertised!"
"Oooh, sorry, I be afraid the fact'ry warranty be void."
"I will destroy your shipscraper if you do not comply!" Norm replied cheerily.
Captain Laser spun the wheel of the ship and prepared for ramming speed.
"No, I think it will be destroying you! Arharharharhar! Also it be a Pirate Building, not a…" Laser pondered as the ship trod Norm underkeel. "Hmm. Shipscraper. Lemme write that down…"
---
"Hello again!"
Cap'n Laser sighed. Five times, five times Norm had shown up, and five times Laser had dismembered him and sent him back from whence he came. Normally he wouldn't have bothered with such niceties, if it weren't for the bot's creator.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz had acquired something of a reputation in the supervillain community as one of the pettiest men alive. That was saying something, considering how there were villains out there who had sworn bloody vengeance on professional golf as a concept. But Doofenshmirtz took things to a whole new level. His ongoing and one-sided social media 'feud' with social media magnate Mark Beaks had ended in the man's corporate headquarters being burnt to the ground, and it didn't take a genius to connect the dots. When it came to the question of starting up a feud with a madman or paying a couple hundred dollars in shipping, he'd take the latter option every time.
"BEGONE, YE BESLUBBERING CANKERBLOSSOM! FOR TH' LAST TIME, I AIN'T GOT YER DIGITIZER CODES!"
"I am sorry, but that's just unacceptable! Father wants those digitizer codes!"
In a sudden flash of inspiration, an idea came to the Captain's mind. The mechanical menace looked as dumb as he was persistent. What if… he referred the robot to his employer instead?
"Errr, that be a problem because th' codes were burgled from me! Lumines all up an' gone, I tell ye. Alack, t'were a dastardly sort o' cur that did it, all…" He realized he had never actually seen the man that had made him the offer. "Tall, an' imposin'-like. In fact, I can tell ye everythin' I know about th' man, and in return, ye leave me be. It'll just ah, take a bit for me to send it on to you. Savvy?"
Norm took longer than usual to parse this information. "Okay!" he responded cheerfully.
---
"So ah, I told him it was stolen. I can jes' go ahead an' make somethin' up, but I'm worried when the lead runs dry he'll come back to m-"
"Tell him I did it." the figure on the other end of the call replied.
"Yarrrr… what?"
"Well not me, obviously." The figure replied with a tone of arch bemusement. "One of my subsidiaries. Perhaps Solanaceae. Yes, that should do. They were hardly turning a profit anyway. Hmm." The figure raised a finger to its shadowed chin. "Next time, I should consider whether or not a clever name is marketable."
"You want me to send him after you?"
"Why do you think I allowed you to pawn those codes off in the first place?"
There was a pause.
"Er… why?"
The figure sighed. "Nevermind, it would take far too long. Just give the man the name. This all works out quite well, I was planning on some ventures in the area in any case. I'm glad someone's finally come knocking."
"Actually it wasn't a man."
"...What?" The figure asked, sounding slightly off-balance for the first time in the conversation.
"Well, technically, it was a giant robot man."
"...get on with it." The voice said after a moment. "If you'll excuse me, I need to see my butler about a trip."
---
Laser Pirate has informed you that the codes for the digitizer, Project Lumines, were acquired by a comestibles firm named Emerald Solanaceae! He gave you an address somewhere in Cleveland, former home of industry. You are fairly certain they have it, though some of the things Norm said make you feel a bit questionable about all this for some reason. You may now Write-In your approach toward proceeding!
DC 70 (Reduced by XP)
20+20+38+3-2=79
Bare Success
Cap'n Laser considered himself a simple man. He had a gimmick and he stuck to it. Unlike some supervillains who were looking to put their names in the national headlines, he would've been perfectly content to keep holding up office buildings.
With an office building.
When he received an offer for one thousand pounds of gold in return for burgling ENCOM atop his flying pirate building, he thought his dream had come true. The building wasn't expecting an outright assault; the plans he had been given were so accurate that all it took was a few minutes of work with his laser cutlass to retrieve the blueprints and run. With that he retired to a small Canadian Island to bury his ill gotten wealth, and possibly make a poorly-dramatized documentary about people searching for it.
Unfortunately, he had made one fatal error. While finalizing his deal, he had the poor sense to explain his vacation plans to a fellow supervillain. That was why now, he was-
"Hello!" Norm the robot man declared, once again flying up to the massive flying monolith's glass facade. "Will you please tell us where to get the Digitizer Data?"
"Yar! Begone ye mechanical menace!" the rather unimaginatively-named villain replied. The diminutive pirate wore an eyepatch and tricorn, but his peg leg was solidified hard light and his shoulder parrot shot laser beams. "I told ye, I gave ye all I had!"
"You promised a fully functional mystery box, Mr. Pirate!" Norm declared. "My father is: Very Angry! With you!"
"Carrrveat emptor, ye scrap heap! Now shove off before I-"
Captain Laser was cut off as a hail of gunfire shattered his window.
"When Father is cross, I utilize Weaponry!"
"Man the cannons!" Laser cried to his video-tronic pirate crew. "Blow him outta tha sky!"
"Your outdated equipment has little chance of penetrating my-"
Norm himself was cut off as a burst of light slammed into him and carried him off towards the ground.
"Heh heh." Laser chuckled. "An' they said laser cannonballs were a 'logical impossibility'. Feh. Hoist anchor lads!" The pirate dusted his hands. There was one problem he'd not have to deal with again soon.
---
"Greetings!" declared Norm the robot man.
"Wh- what are ye doin' back here?!"
"I am easy to assemble!" Norm replied. "Now kindly hand over the information I requested. Your product did not function as advertised!"
"Oooh, sorry, I be afraid the fact'ry warranty be void."
"I will destroy your shipscraper if you do not comply!" Norm replied cheerily.
Captain Laser spun the wheel of the ship and prepared for ramming speed.
"No, I think it will be destroying you! Arharharharhar! Also it be a Pirate Building, not a…" Laser pondered as the ship trod Norm underkeel. "Hmm. Shipscraper. Lemme write that down…"
---
"Hello again!"
Cap'n Laser sighed. Five times, five times Norm had shown up, and five times Laser had dismembered him and sent him back from whence he came. Normally he wouldn't have bothered with such niceties, if it weren't for the bot's creator.
Heinz Doofenshmirtz had acquired something of a reputation in the supervillain community as one of the pettiest men alive. That was saying something, considering how there were villains out there who had sworn bloody vengeance on professional golf as a concept. But Doofenshmirtz took things to a whole new level. His ongoing and one-sided social media 'feud' with social media magnate Mark Beaks had ended in the man's corporate headquarters being burnt to the ground, and it didn't take a genius to connect the dots. When it came to the question of starting up a feud with a madman or paying a couple hundred dollars in shipping, he'd take the latter option every time.
"BEGONE, YE BESLUBBERING CANKERBLOSSOM! FOR TH' LAST TIME, I AIN'T GOT YER DIGITIZER CODES!"
"I am sorry, but that's just unacceptable! Father wants those digitizer codes!"
In a sudden flash of inspiration, an idea came to the Captain's mind. The mechanical menace looked as dumb as he was persistent. What if… he referred the robot to his employer instead?
"Errr, that be a problem because th' codes were burgled from me! Lumines all up an' gone, I tell ye. Alack, t'were a dastardly sort o' cur that did it, all…" He realized he had never actually seen the man that had made him the offer. "Tall, an' imposin'-like. In fact, I can tell ye everythin' I know about th' man, and in return, ye leave me be. It'll just ah, take a bit for me to send it on to you. Savvy?"
Norm took longer than usual to parse this information. "Okay!" he responded cheerfully.
---
"So ah, I told him it was stolen. I can jes' go ahead an' make somethin' up, but I'm worried when the lead runs dry he'll come back to m-"
"Tell him I did it." the figure on the other end of the call replied.
"Yarrrr… what?"
"Well not me, obviously." The figure replied with a tone of arch bemusement. "One of my subsidiaries. Perhaps Solanaceae. Yes, that should do. They were hardly turning a profit anyway. Hmm." The figure raised a finger to its shadowed chin. "Next time, I should consider whether or not a clever name is marketable."
"You want me to send him after you?"
"Why do you think I allowed you to pawn those codes off in the first place?"
There was a pause.
"Er… why?"
The figure sighed. "Nevermind, it would take far too long. Just give the man the name. This all works out quite well, I was planning on some ventures in the area in any case. I'm glad someone's finally come knocking."
"Actually it wasn't a man."
"...What?" The figure asked, sounding slightly off-balance for the first time in the conversation.
"Well, technically, it was a giant robot man."
"...get on with it." The voice said after a moment. "If you'll excuse me, I need to see my butler about a trip."
---
Laser Pirate has informed you that the codes for the digitizer, Project Lumines, were acquired by a comestibles firm named Emerald Solanaceae! He gave you an address somewhere in Cleveland, former home of industry. You are fairly certain they have it, though some of the things Norm said make you feel a bit questionable about all this for some reason. You may now Write-In your approach toward proceeding!
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
1. We have a reputation! The villain community knows we were responsible for the fire at Waddle HQ and so they know our pettiness isn't to be underestimated.
2. Norm was able to make himself properly annoying to deal with, I'm proud of him.
3. We're going to want to find out who this guy is before we do anything.
2. Norm was able to make himself properly annoying to deal with, I'm proud of him.
3. We're going to want to find out who this guy is before we do anything.
SolipsistSerpent
Endlessly Devouring
Emerald Nightshade, eh?
Well, my first guess from the name would be Shego, but I'm not sure that sounds like her kind of plan.
Well, my first guess from the name would be Shego, but I'm not sure that sounds like her kind of plan.
So, I think that the best play considering we know this is calculated is to spend an intrigue action to look into this first before we do something
Oh! Cleveland! I already know everything there is to know about that wonderful city!
- Location
- Two hours away
- Pronouns
- He/Him
Despite everything, Cleveland is still not Detroit.
Dosen't mean it dosen't suck in several areas.
This is the event where Laser Pirate robbed ENCOM HQ and stole the SHV. Who ever was the backer has quite a bit of capability. Especially on a scheme this complex.
Apparently the backer wanted Laser Pirate to rob ENCOM, and sell the laser plans in the hopes of setting up someone who has poked into the background of ENCOM. Do I really need to explain why that plan is... questionable?
I really have no idea what they could be after.
- Location
- NJ
Along with the Normbots and perhaps our soldiers.
- Location
- Somewhere nearby.
Shhh, I'm trying to engineer a father son moment.
- Location
- NJ
Eh fair, I just worry about the Mongol portion of our army. We did bring them into the modern day.
- Pronouns
- He/They
- Location
- Mid-Atlantic
They do have the best khan in all of history to guide them.
Fun update. Hope we get to hire Laser Pirate ourselves at some point.
Action was as near-worthless as expected though. Easier to re-invent the data ourselves than be led by the nose on a wild goose chase.
Well, by itself this action hasn't put us much closer to getting the codes but it certainly has opened up some interesting opportunities for the future.
Even if we chose to just re-develop the codes ourselves (best chance being Bradley having 38+23+20+2=83 in a 150 DC action would need 67 without xp 57 with) I would say following this line of investigation is a good idea, the patron of the pirates knows about us looking into him and probably will also snoop around and its better to be informed than not.
Most likely the write in would be in Intrigue so we could have for our Intrigue actions next turn:
-Investigate the hatless man (Mirage) DC ? BR 50 RN ?
-Kat Nemesis Action (Tobe + Coyote(if allowed)) DC ? BR 45/55 RN ?
-Write in for investigate Solanaceae (Monogram+NOWCA) DC ? BR 41 RN ?
Mirage and Monogram could switch the actions they do depending of the wording of the write in and the DC of the actions.
Tobe and Coyote would be if its allowed, Coyote's "His White Roadrunner" adds a +10 to nemesis actions if the actual Nemesis from our heroes is present, upgrading the nemesis action from a Doof personal to a national should already fulfill that stipulation and in theory the action should allow to also pick another hero to actually do it.
I chose Tobe because having Tobe and Coyote working together to catch Kat sounds like fun, he has our best intrigue for this situation and I don't think he would fit in the other two actions.
This would allow us to keep on top of our most urgent Intrigue needs:
- Relatively safe info about DOR-15 that seems to be time limited as an option
- Hunting down Kat before they get more chances to regroup
- Follow up from this new opportunitie
Even if we chose to just re-develop the codes ourselves (best chance being Bradley having 38+23+20+2=83 in a 150 DC action would need 67 without xp 57 with) I would say following this line of investigation is a good idea, the patron of the pirates knows about us looking into him and probably will also snoop around and its better to be informed than not.
Most likely the write in would be in Intrigue so we could have for our Intrigue actions next turn:
-Investigate the hatless man (Mirage) DC ? BR 50 RN ?
-Kat Nemesis Action (Tobe + Coyote(if allowed)) DC ? BR 45/55 RN ?
-Write in for investigate Solanaceae (Monogram+NOWCA) DC ? BR 41 RN ?
Mirage and Monogram could switch the actions they do depending of the wording of the write in and the DC of the actions.
Tobe and Coyote would be if its allowed, Coyote's "His White Roadrunner" adds a +10 to nemesis actions if the actual Nemesis from our heroes is present, upgrading the nemesis action from a Doof personal to a national should already fulfill that stipulation and in theory the action should allow to also pick another hero to actually do it.
I chose Tobe because having Tobe and Coyote working together to catch Kat sounds like fun, he has our best intrigue for this situation and I don't think he would fit in the other two actions.
This would allow us to keep on top of our most urgent Intrigue needs:
- Relatively safe info about DOR-15 that seems to be time limited as an option
- Hunting down Kat before they get more chances to regroup
- Follow up from this new opportunitie
Last edited:
- Location
- sweden
Hmmm what if we made norm have a self repair mode like cartoon glove hands poping out of panels and fortifying his torso and head so while he cant be broken he can be broken apart also for the possibility of norm self replicating or each and every part constructing bodies to he can assemble or like the robot from zatura
I disagree in the strongest possible terms.
Part of why we are floundering (and we are very much floundering) is because we have spread our attention way too thin and have refused to focus on anything. Early on that let us grab a fair bit of low hanging fruit. Now it means that we achieve almost nothing.
If this new guy attacks us we will need to deal with them. But until then have have a fair number of active enemies, as well as the looming Game Ender threat, all of which are higher priority.
Stratagemini
Totally a Fire Ferret.
- Location
- Central Park
- Pronouns
- He/Him/They/Them
Well, I have no idea what's going on here. Shego, maybe?
- Location
- Germany
Huh, so whoever´s signing LaserPirate´s checks wants Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz, one of the most petty and vindictive villains, to essentially come and get them, even having split the Shiva package into uselessness for that exact hinted purpose?
That´s a big reason *not* to charge in blindly, guys - we are being goaded into a trap right now.
Aside from that, good to hear that we are making a name for us as a man who takes slights personally - that means that the rabble of Villain community will think twice about bothering us. Sure, big fishes like Shego, Xanatos or Doom won´t be deterred at all, but at least the Sykes and Klordanes of this world will leave us be unless they really have to.
Dunno...Until now Shego seemed intent to avoid us if possible because she just can´t deal with someone who reminds her of Drakken so much on a daily-ish basis - and now she is supposed to *actively seek* the confrontation with us? Doesn´t sound like her at all - if she wanted something from us, she´d march into the DEI HQ herself and re-arrange the furniture a bit, not lure us into bleeding ourselves against one of her least profitable subsidiaries.
As for other suspects:
While Xanatos would *definitely* be someone who would lure someone like us into a trap of our pettiness´ own making, I am left wondering what he would have to gain from pissing off one of his most amicable rivals...just doesn´t feel right considering our good rapport.
Honestly, to me this whole shinding has "Phantom Blot" written all over it - he is about as sly as Xanatos, doesn´t shy away from our reputation at all (if anything, he´d see it as a challenge to his genius to lead us around for a bit) and most damning a hint of all, he has told us - or rather, Russ - that he´d come for us "soon" to battle us and yet, we have seen neither hide nor hair of him since...mighty suspicious, if you ask me.
- Location
- USA
Blot is in Doofania right now. We saw in the middle of the bonkers adventure.