I had just thought of something earlier about how it was commented about how calling NOWCA the 'New Organization Without a Cool Acronym' is not accurate anymore as NOWCA is a reasonably good acronym. I have come up with a simple solution. All we must do is call it the 'New Organization WITH a Cool Acroym'
I'm pretty sure that "without a cool acronym" is meant to reference the fact that the organization's name doesn't spell anything, unlike, say, SHIELD, HYDRA, or FOWL.
 
Hey, I just noticed this, but what's with the "boats for the boat god" tag?
Both the "highland kingdom delende est" and the "boats for the boat god" tags are relics from two very emblematic Civ quests in this forum.

Edit: as well as "don't count your boats before they sail". The boat ones go back to the Settlers of (Yu) Cattan quest, while the highlands one refers to Paths of Civilization, which IIRC is the one that kicked off the entire genre of quasi-historical Civ quests.
 
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Both the "highland kingdom delende est" and the "boats for the boat god" tags are relics from two very emblematic Civ quests in this forum.

Edit: as well as "don't count your boats before they sail". The boat ones go back to the Settlers of (Yu) Cattan quest, while the highlands one refers to Paths of Civilization, which IIRC is the one that kicked off the entire genre of quasi-historical Civ quests.

oh cool, could you provide the links for those two quests so I can look at them later?
 
The Open-Concept-Office-Inator:
One of the interns made the "mistake" of trying to explain alternative office layouts to you. Uncertain of how to achieve an open environment without sacrificing traps you whipped up an an inator to test it out. Now there are no barriers among your pencil pushers, or any other pencil pushers judging by how many folks are asking what Mirage is doing back at Olympia.

Mechanically:
All factions with a business to their name have an additional stewardship action attempted by their faceless mooks and will drag a Hero from another faction to assist them. Hero chosen by mooks will meet following criteria:
  • Has appropriate skill set for assignment
  • Could travel to the other King's territory without Inator tomfoolery
  • Is not already assigned to a NA or Quest
Loyalty bonuses are halved as the Hero Unit has no idea what's going on.
 
Bad Versions: DEI offices looses all borders, turning everything into a soup. Stewardship actions are blended together with no regard to if they have synergy or not.
 
Alternately, everyone attempts stewardship actions as normal, then who gets the benefits/penalties of those stewardship actions is randomized. Glomgold suddenly owns a T-Rex exhibit, Shere Khan's improved fusion reactor somehow gets built in New York and signed over to Xanatos, and Judge Doom is hailed as a hero for clearing Bonkers Bobcat's name.
 
The Inator-Garage-Sale-Inator!:

Your inator room is getting kind of cluttered, it's becoming hard to even work on any new Inators like this! So you've come up with the perfect solution: build an inator to get rid of your old inators! Your newest inator will organize a garage sale to sell off some of your inators, all without you having to bother (which frankly, is for the better, you hate it when a bunch of people go through your stuff and keep asking you questions, it's annoying!)

Mechanically:
- QM rolls to determine who was paying enough attention to Doof's social media at the time to attend an impromptu superscience auction with barely hours of forewarning;
- Each party who does show up gets to roll once in the inators table, and then they can choose wether to buy the inator they rolled, or any other inator that was rolled but not purchased by someone else;
- Each inator will sell for 1 Income, and since product-testing is forbidden, inators will be sold based on what they were designed to do, rather than what they actually do when activated;
- From then on, anyone who purchases an inator gets to activate that inator once during their own turn, as if they were Doofenshmirtz. After activation, the inator inevitably self-destructs;
- Any inator sold are removed from the inators table;
- Since Doofenshmirtz himself is not present, and the inator-garage-sale-inator was not programmed with nemesis-recognition software, anyone may attend the garage sale;

An inator inspired by Kat's stealing one of our own inators, to let (potentially) anyone in on the fun for a turn, and also because at this point we've come up with more inators than we can ever expect to use.
 
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The Inator-Garage-Sale-Inator!:

Your inator room is getting kind of cluttered, it's becoming hard to even work on any new Inators like this! So you've come up with the perfect solution: build an inator to get rid of your old inators! Your newest inator will organize a garage sale to sell off some of your inators, all without you having to bother (which frankly, is for the better, you hate it when a bunch of people go through your stuff and keep asking you questions, it's annoying!)

Mechanically:
- QM rolls to determine who was paying enough attention to Doof's social media at the time to attend an impromptu superscience auction with barely hours of forewarning;
- Each party who does show up gets to roll once in the inators table, and then they can choose wether to buy the inator they rolled, or any other inator that was rolled but not purchased by someone else;
- Each inator will sell for 1 Income, and since product-testing is forbidden, inators will be sold based on what they were designed to do, rather than what they actually do when activated;
- From then on, anyone who purchases an inator gets to activate that inator once during their own turn, as if they were Doofenshmirtz. After activation, the inator inevitably self-destructs;
- Any inator sold are removed from the inators table;
- Since Doofenshmirtz himself is not present, and the inator-garage-sale-inator was not programmed with nemesis-recognition software, anyone may attend the garage sale;

An inator inspired by Kat's stealing one of our own inators, to let (potentially) anyone in on the fun for a turn, and also because at this point we've come up with more inators than we can ever expect to use.
You just know that this will cause the good inators to finally start showing up as the inators being sold.
 
Crisis: Kataclysm- The Fast and the Furry-ous
Your choice to focus on protecting the general populace seems to have been a mixed bag. On one hand, you haven't noticed any casualties! Whether that's unintentional or by design, barely anyone has anything more than a few cuts or bruises from the feline menace- they seem far more intent on harassing people than actually causing harm. You're also out in the public eye, making a spectacle of defending people! This is sure to get you a lot of good will!

On the other hand… there aren't that many cats around. Based on the smoke rising in the sky and the sirens off in the distance, there's still a lot of them elsewhere in the city, causing all sorts of trouble. You should really try to get a handle on that.

You prepare for a fight as Temujin leads your group across the city. It's been a long while since you've had an old-fashioned scrap with an animal nemesis, so how hard could this one be? Sure, your old nemesis never had any superpowers, but back then you were really out of shape and you didn't even have power armor!

It seems like the next target of the invading force is none other than your Normbot recharging hubs! You've placed these things around the city in a manner some might call 'strategic', allowing your policing force easy access to maintenance and battery power, as well as serving as decentralized processing hubs for their combat subroutines. The cats must be planning to take them down!


Kat Army martial check:
68+36+35+20+5-14 (Paramilitary Mongol Corps)=150
Doof martial contest:
52+20+55+7+5=139
Kat Army success!


Unfortunately, you're just a few minutes too late. Most of the cats are no trouble for Temujin even head on, but it seems like these cats are smart. They don't need to fight him when they can fly up out of his reach and rain lasers on their intended targets!


Your Normbot recharging hubs are offline! This will need to be fixed before your Normbots can provide adequate support in the future! Paramilitary Mongol Corps malus decreases by 5!


Ah, this brings back memories of the old days, back when all your plans were thwarted by some small fuzzy creature while you could do nothing but stand by and watch. Those are mostly bad memories, but still…

Before you can formulate a response to this irritating development, you're interrupted by the sight of your nacho guy Hego racing down the street, three kids still struggling in his shoulders. You recognize two of them right away as your interns!

"You guys got caught in this too? I'm glad you're ok."

"Yeah, I'm sure you are." The tall girl who you assume is related to the boys glares at you for reasons you don't really get.

"Uhhh… yeah." You say after a moment. "Anyway good work Hego, I hate to imagine what would have happened if you hadn't been there. Want to help save the day?"

Hego says nothing.

You pause awkwardly. You're still not great at small talk. At least your interns are safe and that's good enough for now, right?

"...I'll leave you to help out around here. I mean, surely you can handle a few cats, right?"

When Hego still has no response to that, you decide to quietly move on. You're all for the wellbeing of your employees, but the city is currently under attack by superpowered cats. You can try to get a handle on how Hego's feeling when you're not in imminent danger.


Doofenshmirtz Martial Check
57+20+55+7+5=144
Kat Opposed
24+36+35+20+5-9 (Paramilitary Mongol Corps)=111
Doofenshmirtz Success!


Combatting the cats isn't as flashy as you were hoping for. There's no fantastic feats of backflipping off of buildings or beaning them with fallen lampposts- for all of the chaos they are causing, someone evidently trained them very well. Temujin and Jumba are making slow, methodical work of the beasts, disabling them and knocking them out- even under the threat of death, you just don't have it in your heart to order the doom of so many kitties. NOWCA is fighting from the shadows since a head-on attack would be suicide, with most of the agents disabling their quarries in short order. The cats may have superpowers but your Agents have experience, and the last few months of training with Monogram seem to have really drilled into their heads how to use that experience against real threats.

This doesn't seem to be a full rout… but you have picked up on something. Several of the commanders you've faced have seemed uneasy, as if they're fighting more out of momentum than out of any devotion to… whatever cause they're fighting for, you guess. You're not sure what, you still don't speak cat. It seems there is dissent in the ranks of some sort. Maybe you can take advantage of this?


Doofenshmirtz diplomacy check: Cause further dissent in the ranks!
DC 100 needed
7+18+15=40
Critical Failure!


"Come on guys, we don't have to do this the hard way!" You declare. The chaos stops momentarily. "I mean, I'm already working with a gang of animals! And you're a gang of animals! Eh? Eh?" You look around the crowd. Everyone seems to be on the same page so far. "So! Instead of going on with this… whatever it is, a skirmish? Temujin, could we call this a skirmish? Too big? Too small?" Temujin declines to answer. "Eh, I'm going with 'skirmish'. Instead of this, how about you come work for me instead of whatever horrid creature gives the orders around here? You do some community service, you're back on the streets in ten to twenty months! How about it?"


Kat martial check
63+36+35+15+5+10(offered cats work)-9=155
Doofenshmirtz martial contest
46+20+55+7-10(offered cats work)=118
Kat Army spiteful success!


Monogram facepalms. "Doofenshmirtz! What did you do!?"

"What do you mean, what did I do?! I offered them a job! I do that to everyone, I did that to you!"

"You don't offer cats jobs! They're the laziest creatures on the planet!" Monogram bellows.

"What are you talking about?! Agent K is working for you right there! I see him!"

"You think Agent K likes working? He's only working for me because his devotion to truth and justice outweighs his innate laziness!"

"Meow." Agent K agreed blandly.

You try to hold back the oncoming tide of furious felines, taking some bumps and scrapes on your nice white power armor. Darn it, and you just had it waxed!

Anything that might've been brewing in the ranks is nipped in the bud as the cats are once again united by their mutual hatred of your offer.


Kat Army martial check:
25+36+35+15+5-9=107
Jumba martial contest:
17+18+55+7+5=102
Bare success!


Apparently recognizing the fellow alien as a threat, the cat's leader sends the animals clawing and scratching towards Jumba and his entourage. Thankfully for you, the thin one runs screaming immediately, 625 is completely unaffected, and Jumba's blubber is thick enough to sustain only minor bruising.


Doofenshmirtz martial check:
47+20+55+7+5=134
Kat Army martial contest:
91+36+35+15+5-9=173
Kat Army success!


OWCA is… not doing as well against the cats as you had hoped. They're far better than they were months ago, but they're just not as strong as cats with super strength and laser eyes. They're skilled at picking off cats one at a time, but their tactics only work about half the time and they're pretty slow to adapt. The longer this battle drags on the more of a slog it becomes, with neither of you losing or gaining a lot of ground. It seems like you've come to a crossroads…

---

Millions of miles away from the planet, a small comm buoy, no larger than a medicine ball, slipped from the confines of a Kat Nebulan capital ship. This piece of equipment passed unnoticed by the GalFed corvette that was currently in hot pursuit of their vessel, slipped into sunlight, and approached the third planet from the sun, centering in on a location that had been transmitted hours prior: Danville.

Kat slipped away from the chaos, leaving his forces to skirmish with the pharmacist for a moment. If the Kommander was sending a personal message like this, then it had to be important.

The buoy smashed the head off of a statue of Rutherford B. Hayes before crashing onto the ground. As the mechanical pod hissed open, Kat slicked his ears back and made himself look as impressive as he could. He even puffed up his chest so there would be room for the shiny medal he'd receive as a reward for the Earth's conquest!

A small hologram with the image of the ever-scowling Kommander appeared before him.

"Miao miao miao miao. Mrow. Miao mow mow mow. Mrow!"

Kat froze. That wasn't what he was expecting to hear at all.

"Mrow?"

"Miao miao!"

The Kommander switched the display to a hologram of the space around Earth. The illustrious Kat Nebulan Expeditionary Fleet was in pieces, their remains being swept up by those inferior, fish-shaped Galactic Federation ships!

Kat gasped!

"Miao miao miao miao--!"

"Rrowr!"

Kat struggled to come up with an excuse on the spot, but the Kommander cut him off with a growl. It was clear to the both of them that this conquest was an abysmal failure.

"…Miao miao maio maio maio maio?"

Kat rubbed his elbow, not quite looking his superior in the eye as he made his request for an evac. He had to get that much for his efforts at sabotaging this blasted rock, right?

The Kommander shut off the transmission. A waldo arm extended out of the drone's side and slapped Kat in the face. While he pried himself out of the wall, the arm withdrew forty-two credits of Galactic Standard scrip from a supply cache and tossed them at Kat's feet.

Interplanetary conversion rates are notoriously difficult to grasp and convey with any amount of consistency, but by the leading local and galactic banking systems, this amount of currency could be considered equivalent to approximately twelve dollars and fifty three cents.

The credits and a planetary exile were the standard severance package for a very bad spy.

With a single blast of his eyes, Kat disintegrated the buoy! They want to make him a burned agent and deny his existence? Too bad! Kat can't be fired, he quit!

He was on his own now. All that was left was to do as much damage as he could before skipping town to greener pastures…

---

You've become bogged down in the fighting and lost track of the ringleader! Now you have to make a choice.

[ ] Find the ringleader!
You need to find whoever's behind this and put a stop to them before they can get away. It won't be an easy fight and will almost certainly leave your city open to further damages, which you'll have to deal with later.

[ ] Focus on damage control!
You need to run interference on the cats smashing up the city. You may have kept the civilians safe but that won't mean anything if everything is rubble! You'll almost certainly prevent further infrastructure damage, but it'll mean that the leader will almost certainly escape...

There will be a twelve hour moratorium on voting.
 
Well, at least nothing catastrophic happened?

I'm thinking we grab Kat. The infrastructure is a one time thing. Kat at this point is an actual security risk if he finds someone who can communicate with him, plus we probably never going to get a better chance to try to get him.
 
I'm going to be completely honest, I would like to catch kat and make an example of him. But him being a cat means that we would just look crazy(er). So I vote we capture Kat, ask jumba if he has a bounty or just pass him off to the Galatic police or w/e they are.
 
I'm going to be completely honest, I would like to catch kat and make an example of him. But him being a cat means that we would just look crazy(er). So I vote we capture Kat, ask jumba if he has a bounty or just pass him off to the Galatic police or w/e they are.
An army of superpowered cats just attacked the city, nobody's going to look at us weird for holding their leader responsible.
 
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